confidence of not caring what other people who don't matter think
Posted By: no messsage on 2007-10-09
In Reply to: I turned 40 today! Please tell me something positive about it! - (other than the obvious - I'm still alive :-)Li
nm
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Confidence
I think your relationship with your daughter is the most important thing here. Don't do or say anything else regarding the situation.
Chances are that the mother of the girl will resent the fact that you had this information about her daughter before she did. And mothers do not always come round, esp. where their kids' sex lives are concerned and esp. when potential pregnancies are involved.
You have handled it very well so far and done everything you should.
Thank you for caring for that poor dog. sm
She must have been neglected for a long time.
With her coughing up mucus, she probably has pneumonia and needs antibiotics. She also needs dental work.
You might want to feed her some ground beef and rice. You should boil the beef, not fry it (no seasonings)and add it to cooked rice that has no seasonings. This is what my vet prescribed when one of my dogs was sick. It should be easy for her to eat this. But please get her to a vet ASAP.
She probably has some kind of allergy that is causing her to chew herself. Or she might be doing that because her teeth hurt her.
Thanks for caring so much and for passing that along! NM
thank you all for the advice and caring.....sm
I knew I was doing the right thing posting here. All of the MTs I have spoken to on this site have been really kind.
I found out about the cheating when the other woman's husband called our house last night, and my husband told me first thing this morning so that I could hear it from him instead of the other guy. I have since talked to the other husband and the wife says that my husband wanted it to go further, but she stopped it. I think she is just trying to save her a@@. The other husband read some e-mails to me that they had passed back and forth together, and it sounds to me like there was more going on. I also called my cell phone company today to get the past few months details on his phone so I can see just how much they were talking. My husband said they didn't really talk that often (the CSR checked through the records and found multiple calls on multiple days. She was very nice, helpful, and encouraging).
We have 2 small children (4½ and 2½ girls) and I feel like I owe it to them to try and find a way to work through this. He has agreed to counseling, but I don't know at this point how I want this all to turn out. I'm still just too numb, shocked, angry, etc. to have thought it out that far.
Thanks again for all of your advice and opinions. There is a lot to be learned from other peoples experiences. Just pray for strength for me to get through the holidays without having a nervous breakdown or a murder charge.
God bless you for caring sm
We have kept our dogs for up to 16-17, until it would have been inhumane to let them suffer, so I can feel your pain. I cried more over my dogs than I did for family as the first one was born right here in our home as well and we treat our animals as one of us. Unless one is an animal lover, others cannot understand why you could be so heartbroken. My husband took it hard as well and we were both so distraught it was worse than a human death. We had ignorant people say ignorant things such as, "it's only a dog," etc. Be comforted in knowing that those of us who love animals feel your pain. It will take a long time to get over. I could not walk past the pet food aisle without tears. The only answer to my pain was guess what? Another pet if possible. Bless you, we are here to talk. Those of us who love animals know what you've been through. You feel helpless, I'm sure, but you did your best.
Thank you for caring. It means a lot.
ss
Thank you all for caring. I have an appointment on
Thursday to see a Christian psychologist at a local church. I have been thinking of attending this church for some time, and when I have my appointment it might be a foot in the door so to speak. Thank you again for your kind words. My post was just another way of reaching out. When I get terribly depressed I tend to internalize everything and avoid people. I really need to sit down with someone and just unload. I think this is a step in the right direction.
Bless your heart for caring!
t
Anyone here caring for aging parents?
Whoof. This is so very hard. My mother is/was a brilliant educator, highly respected in her field.
We are walking a very thin line these days. I just hate it, and I do not use that word often.
We have found an assisted living facility that she likes, and I do as well. But, she is not liking the fact that she must decide. Oh, it is so very hard.
She was quite ill back in the summer, went to a nursing home for therapy (to recover from pneumonia), and then home. She is failing, and not going "gentle into that good night." She wants so very much to live on her own, but it is such a struggle. I am afraid for her, and I am so very tired.
Is anyone else living with this? If so, what do you do? I have read a thousand articles, talked with so many specialists, and still am lost.
I can't thank you all enough for your support, information, and caring..sm
You have really uplifted me a bit, and we will continue to search for answers and pray to do the right thing. She is so loved!! And God Bless each and every one of you, and your loved ones, for your kind notes and posts, SO APPRECIATED!!!
but short on compassion and caring.
x
Thanks for being a caring person. Please don't change.-nm
xx
You sound like a very caring and kind person
I'm definitely not going to flame you, but I'm wondering if you actually put stuff *inside* the mailbox because that is against the law. I would appreciate the thought, but I really wouldn't like someone going in my mailbox besides my mail carrier.
My neighbors across the street have the most beautiful lights. I just moved here from the sticks and it was SO cool to be able to look outside my window every night and look at their array. I don't see them because our schedules are different, so I thought about mailing them a thank you card. But it really would not be appropriate to just pop it in the box.
Anyhow, please don't take offense, but maybe some of the looks you are getting is the mailbox thing. I'm not assuming or anything, just wanted to give you a heads up.
I sincerely hope you feel better :-)
The woman has children who are supposed to be caring for her
Interfering could lead to some seriously unpleasant unintended consequences.
I had that problem with a neighbor, only they weren't caring
constantly barking. I would put water out for the dog and sometimes feed the dog because it was being neglected. Finally, when no one was looking I had the dog come with me and I took it over to my moms house and found the dog a really loving home. My bad? I don't care, I knew the dog was being well taken care of. The lady I gave him too just doted on him and he was no longer neglected.
Even though a dog is being fed and given water doesn't mean it isn't being neglected. Animal neglect is a form of abuse. If you call anyone, don't call Animal Control. Call the Humane Society or some other entity who can take the animal so it won't end up being put to sleep. It's not the dogs fault that the owner neglects him.
Thanks to all for caring. I will use Resolve and update on this board SM
to let you know. It happened so quickly, and I guess that is what happens when you snack in the living room. I am used to sometimes putting my glass or bowl on the floor when I am finished eating. This time I paid a high price. I think it may at least take some of the stain out, and thank God it was one of my smaller pans. As Cat said, a throw rug is an option as well.
Have a great Thanksgiving! I am working, but will have the afternoon with my family.
Well it sounds good but a true caring
and giving person that gives from the heart and not merely to impress would also probably not have thrown a post like that in the middle of ones where people are obviously having great financial difficulties. LOL. Sometimes ya just gotta laugh.
Bless you all that are having money problems and I hope things get better for you soon. And, remember, this too shall pass.
You are a caring, loving person. That has been obvious SM
from your posts for a long time to me. You are doing the right thing and staying on top of this. With your close eye and caring and with professionals on board I think your son has a bright future. Keep us informed. 
It really does not matter what you believe...sm
As a Christian, I believe in the Bible being the word and truth of God... and there is a h*** (sorry to use this symbo, but I have been told when trying to post this that this is a "bad" word) just as there is a heaven....we all make a choice in our lives which place we will go to in the end. People will always find an excuse not to go to Church...and that is what they are excuses. As a Christian I am no less a person than anyone around me....people just try harder to see my sins to see me fall. But being a Christian does not make my sins go away, I just have to repent and try not repeat them. I am not perfect...there was only One who was! There is always strife and discord in any Church...whether you choose to become part of it is just that...your choice. And yes, Jesus stands for love and forgives, but he does not ask us to be tolerant of the world....love the sinner and hate the sin. God is only tolerant to a point and then he will punish.
For the record, I celebrate Halloween with my children....no horror or blood and guts. We do the Trunk or Treat at our Church for the community and decorate our car in a bibilical theme.
No matter where you go..sm
there you are! Sounds like you 2 lovebirds are gonna have a real blast. Be safe out there. Cat
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ygs2xfjJG2M
he probably said to himself, "I am not going down no matter what". LOL
I am sure his adrenaline was pumping like crazy at that point. You could tell the entire team wanted that win so bad and they deserved it.
Different matter
I don't think it sounds like a matter of not forgiving him for something that happened 4 years ago. It sounds more like you don't love him anymore. If that's the case, then you deserve the chance to find happiness with someone else. IMHO. Good luck to you!
Why does it matter?
why does your sister care how much money she has? about the husband, Im a bit confused about that one... if they are married, isn't it both their money?
Anyways, I would take it up with my sis before ever saying anything to mom.
don't think that would matter with IVF - nm
xxx
I there is a will, it does NOT matter
WHO COMES FIRST!
Anybody who makes a will can DETERMINE WHO COMES FIRST and can cut out anybody he/he wants from the inheritance.
Ony if there is no will, the
state takes over as executor and distributes the assets according to WHO COMES FIRST.
And watch what you are saying and the TONE in which you are saying it, I am probably better informed than you are.
It does not matter which is what!
MY point is that the word
STUPIDER
exists!
Anon said there is NO word 'stupider'!
DO YOU UNDERSTAND?
A little 'slow?'
what does it matter
My mother is a sociopath, and that is the tip of the iceberg.
Sounds like you have had a very unhappy family life for a very long time.
What do you think is the matter
with these types of people? A brain issue, early trauma? It's hard to believe anyone would just WANT to be a pain in everyone's A$$!
you can give the people the facts, but the decision making process should be left to the people
This is what our country is founded on FREEDOM OF CHOICE! I'm laughing already; you are just as mortal as the rest of us, and don' even attempt to that you've never done anything in your lifetime that was unsafe or unhealthy. NOT gonna buy it.
While I don't understand why you had no say in the matter, if he..
is going to continue staying with her, I would just not say anything, because if she is nasty she will end up taking it out on him. Any chance you could move to that particular school district so he could live with you again? Other than for your son being there, why did you HAVE to keep in touch with them? Good luck.
No matter how responsible you are
and how much time you spend with them, you cannot be there 24-7 to supervise them. That is completely unrealistic. Can we take them to the doctor, to the store, to the kids' school? Come on now.
There is a responsible way to crate an animal. No matter how much you train them, my labs still would have eaten anything in site for a certain period of time. There is no way I would leave them unattended to run my errands and chance them getting into something that could harm them. Regardless of the material objects as you call them, they could get hurt.
Also, a child does need a crib and a playpen. To say that those are used so that you do not have to supervise your kids is ridiculous. Everyone has to go to the restroom at some point. Should we carry them everywhere or perhaps let them run around so they can get into something that would harm them until we finish our business? Wow....
I believe a pediatrician would even tell you that those are necessary in raising a healthy child, and I am not talking about someone who puts their kids in a playpen all day instead of spending time with them either.
But no matter where she lives, she is still
just not that pretty and I personally would not want to be her, no matter where she lives. I love my neighborhood and I don’t have man hands, huge teeth, watermelon head, toothpick body and no one has ever complained about my voice. I do not like her show at all.
As a matter of fact, he did.
Actually, a few years later he took the boys, then 8 and 14, because they needed the discipline of a dad. Bad mistake! He'd convinced me he had changed, but then went out to his play rehearsals and band practice every night, leaving the boys at home. I'd sue to get custody back, he'd shape up for awhile, I'd back off, and the cycle repeated until I ran out of money. The boys are grown now, doing basically okay. He's just pathetic now.
My daughter does matter
My 6-year-old values her "family." She does not express her feelings much but I caught her in her room crying one night and she broke down and told me she does not want to lose her family. Divorce is a very traumatic thing for a child of any age and her mental health is worth it to me.
Now, the decision here is if things are dysfunctional enough here to be hurting her worse than if I stayed. This is what I need to figure out.
But the love of my child is worse sacrifying a part of me. She is my world and her happiness means EVERYTHING.
Would it matter that she is almost 10 y/o and not in a daycare? sm
We were at soccer practice Monday night for her and last night for her sisters. Sisters are 12 and 6. they do not have them.
As a matter of fact -
I love making cinnamon-rasin bread with this same recipe. Also, it's great for homemade pizza and bread sticks - and a lot cheaper than sending out, though maybe a little more labor intensive! Worth it for the taste, though. I've also made fried dough on special occasions. Great minds DO think alike!
No matter his age, he is your child, right?
NM
matter of choices
It's not just about protecting our children from being taught something that is wrong, something that goes against our moral fiber, something that this great country was founded on, our belief in God. It is also about standing up for our beliefs and not condoning something that is clearly sinful. You may not believe there is a God yet. That is your opinion. What makes you think that you were right in letting your child watch anything she wanted? So she turned out good. So did my children and they were raised to believe in God and his son Jesus Christ. The only difference is, when the time comes for Jesus to come back to this earth, your daughter will find that she has been cheated by being taught there is no God and perhaps will find herself in some serious trouble.
No, as a matter of fact
I did not revel. I did not know what to think seeing here there saying that. Unfortunately, I don't live where she was speaking and the news channels did not show the whole speech, only parts of it. I do have to say that now she is putting it out there that her comment was aimed at "gangsta rappers." That can't be factual, or if it WAS, I sure did not see anybody remotely fitting that description in her audience. Why can't she just say, "Woops, I said it, but did not mean it and I'm sorry. That was inappropriate." Instead, she has all sorts of commenters out there blowing smoke trying to CYA for her, trying to twist it and put it into a context that casts her in a better light. Frankly, I am sick of her more than I can say. She should be thankful to live here in the US where she got into a great college when she had a very poor GPA, which would never have happened anywhere but here in the US.
as a matter of fact, it's not so dum...
See, the cats have it both ways. They are predator without truly being prey. Plus, their numbers are great enough that it's conceivable they could impact local populations. And honestly, domestic housecats are "exotic species" to the North American fauna, not a natural predator or part of the normal ecosystem at all. So, yeah, the guy has a point.
But then I'm biased, I admit, because I keep my own cats indoors and I'm aggravated no end with the neighbor cats who come and spray in my yard. :)
no matter what she does, she still appears
x
no, it is not all a matter of responsible
ownership. There have been very loving responsible owners themselves attacked by their own dogs. A popular dog breed can be overbred indiscriminately and ruined. Unfortuntately this breed is too unpredictable. I've always been around animals, large and small and have both now. I would never have a pit bull. I visit my friend less often now who now has one, and won't get out of the car if it is loose. Not to mention that these dogs don't just bite, which would be bad enough, they instinctively go for the kill. I haven't read the link you provided yet, but do NOT believe that breed-specific legislation is stupid. This particular bill may be over the top, but breed-specific laws are brought on by a need, and wouldn't get off the ground without plenty of facts on record to support it.
Would it matter if he was biologically yours? sm
All I am saying is that if he was biologically your son and was selling marijuana, would you be doing the same thing? I would hope so. I'm not bashing you as a stepmom. It is hard to read posts without seeing a person's facial expressions and tone of voice. The original post did not say anything about anyone selling pot or someone else making $60K+ per year, etc. All it said was that the stepchildren didn't give proper gifts and that gifts they were given were not appreciated while nothing negative was stated about the biological child.
His opinions should not matter to you really (sm)
Everyone has opinions - what do you care what his are? Move past it - you cannot change him or his opinions - don't let his words get to you - then he wins. Move on. And don't answer the phone anymore when he calls!
Why, no matter how carefully
I plan my list, do I always forget one very important item at the grocery store?
As a matter of fact
 I will be spending Thanksgiving with my daughter (age 39) and some of her friends and we plan to break out the old Trivial Pursuit! Can't wait - it sure beats watching sports on T.V.
You're going to die no matter what you do. sm
It's your quality of life that you fight for.
Nobody here is going to give you a reason to continue smoking.
What does your friend with the lung CA say about it?
what is the subject matter?
nm
It is a matter of the individual.
For you, this might work whereas for others, it might not. My husband and I shared equally in the housework and raising of our children. It is a very individual thing and as long as it is a choice and not because "that's the way it should be", then of course it will work. We are all very different.
it is wonderful to see how many people have such strong opinions about people in debt.
I thought that the purpose of this board was to be able to post without being judged unfairly or have somebody tell you how wonderful their personal life is, and therefore you are causing their life to be less wonderful with your irresponsibility. Well, the saying "walk a mile in my shoes" is a good one in this case. Since you have no personal information about the person you are lambasting because they are looking for information on their debt, you can feel superior. Had you had personal information about them, you might act in a more human manner. Consider fighting cancer for 4 years, working and being debilitated while you do, suffering the effects of chemo, going into debt to maintain your home for your children and looking for a way out of debt SHOULD YOU EVEN LIVE THROUGH THIS!! Thank you for the kind comments. To the judgmental people I say please take a step back before you judge. You do not know who you are talking to and if you knew the personal information maybe your comments would be kinder.
I get frustrated by the double standard they use when judging people. They let certain people go sa
What do you think about the voting process?
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