christmas stress . . .
Posted By: maam on 2006-12-13
In Reply to:
Due to the high stress nature of my husband's and my parents, we no longer tell them about the children's school events ( I know, sounds horrible, doesn't it?). My husband's father, whom we see three times a year, and has absolutely NO relationship with our children, called the school and found out when their concert was. He and his wife showed up last night, sat in front of us, he said two words to my husband (his son) all night long. When we got home last night and wanted to decorate the tree, my husband blew a gasket. He cannot handle it. It bothered him SO much that his dad showed up that he screamed and yelled at us until my daughter and I were in tears and my sons wanted him to leave. My daughter, lying in bed crying while I tucked her in said "we do this every year, mom". In order to get a grip on the kind of relationship my husband and his father have I would have to go on and on. basically, he adopted my husband when he married my husband's mother years ago. They split up the year we got married. My husband tried very, very unsuccessfully to maintain a relationship with him over the years and finally came to a point where he gave up. We have awkward moments and conversation when we are together. We have nothing in common, they don't really care about the kids, because they are not there to actually spend time with them and get to know them. We prayed for my husband last night, and my daughter asked me if something happened in his childhood. How do I get my husband to deal with this so we don't have to go through this every year?????
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Boy, if stress is the trigger, I'm surprised I'm not one big blister. Stress is my middle name
and MT-ing is my game..
What are people supposed to call Christmas Eve and Christmas Day now?? (nm)
x
Stress when is enough enough?
Wanted to gab to get some feedback. Right now, it seems like everywhere this MT turns there's stress. DH going through final hearing for child support his ex won't pay for years, she threatening to take the kids away so he has to pay child support, etc. I just switched jobs within the last year, and although I am doing well the one I chose, it has been really stressful trying different MTSOs out to find the right one, or the fairest one. Top it off, my 2nd computer in 6 months just died today and my lovebird cage just fell down from the ceiling wrecking the living room, the cage, and scaring me and the birds half to death. Last week, when my son went for visitation, he wanted to stay home and not go with his dad, he screamed so loud the police chased his dad down in the car, and they came here to make sure he was not a kidnapper. I am not kidding! Look, I am not looking for pity. It just seems that as I sit here and write this to you (who I don't even know), that since I work at home transcribing 6 days a week, am fully involved with my son at home and step kids all the time (no life outside the house to speak of anymore) I am absolutely at a ridiculous point of stress. Any happy coping suggestions in response to this sad situation other than, go to the "mental health board," or "get a life..." etc. Thanks in advance for your kind comments. Just a sister MT trying to cope with job and home and trying to find advice from anyone who has "been there." Thanks.
STRESS
I am so sorry to hear about your friend (coworker). I cry with you. I hope and pray that you can find someone at your facility that will see what is happening and help you make changes!!!
Why can't anyone realize that the stress we face is great?
God Bless You and your other coworkers!!
My solution to your stress
just BEAT HIM. LOL. J/K of course.
I would be upset too. Look for another company to go through. Unreal.
you are in posttraumatic stress right now--sm
go to the ER. Have someone drive you, if you feel you may leave the car running again. They will be sympathetic and guide you as to what is appropriate care for you. I feel your pain! My children's father took his own life on Father's Day two years ago and a cousin of mine took his own life less than a month later. I know the feeling, believe me. You will get better though, trust me. good luck to you and keep us all informed. you need compassionate friends right now, too. {{hugs}}
stress causes it too, my child has it....
and is also on metformin which causes more problems....has been to the GI doc who is really not much help....in this case, stress causes it...child doesn't drink....26 y/o.....
hope you feel better.....google IBS - you'll learn how to cope/deal....
stress, work, stress, work, stress, work
X
What do you do for stress relief?
I am having a tough time blowing off steam lately and looking for some stress relief ideas...some for in the moment and some for just routine daily/weekly life stress.
I am pregnant so moods are crazy and I am just having difficulty letting go of even the smallest of things. Looking for some pointers, ideas, suggestions.
My garden tub used to do the trick but now that I work until late at night and have a child home from school for the summer, it is difficult to find the time for that or mani/pedis which I also used to enjoy.
stress reduction
My ex-hub wrote some papers while he was doing his PhD in psychology on stress reduction. I typed his papers both before and after we were divorced. It made sense to me. One of the things he said that you work all week to make a paycheck to pay your bills. He said you have to consider yourself "a bill out of your paycheck that needs to be paid" just like any other bill that you owe. You need to pay a bill owed to yourself for hard work in the form of whatever you can afford out of each paycheck no matter what the amount that you may deem to afford meaning a new outfit, pedicure, meal out, movie, whatever makes you relaxed and feel happy. Set an amount aside even if it is just $20-$25. It gives you something to looks forward to. We have been divorced for 15 years, but I still remember this and still do this. It makes me feel good because I know I have to pay this bill to myself and it makes me feel good.
I wouldn't stress.
I had my baby natural childbirth. It really wasn't so bad. By the time it gets to where you can't stand it anymore, it's time to push. When you push through a contraction, you don't feel pain anymore just pressure. During labor I just kept thinking, this time tomorrow I will be holding my baby.
While I was pregnant, friends and family delighted in telling me their horror stories about childbirth. Don't listen to them. Everyone's experience is different. I figured if it was that bad everyone would only do it once, right?
I did take my sister's advice though. She's an RN on L&D and she said the nurses are there to help you, don't get mean and nasty with them or they will go away and only come back when they have to.
My friend had an epidural and suffered from severe headaches for months afterwards. I've heard of women having back problems, leg problems with them. I don't think I would ever advise anyone to get an epidural.
Yes, definitely a stress point in a marriage....sm
As for taking charge, I think we have to as they simply wont. I mean someone does need to be "in charge" so to speak...it is their place to be "head" of the house, but most dont take that place, they dont want that place, the responsibility that it brings.
I often think of the fact that if I died while my children are young they would have to live with my sister....seriously. He would not be able to take care of them, and not talking just financial, he literally would not be able to take care of them. It is sad to feel like that about it. Just how it is.
You're not weird. Maybe you can stress that you'd like it to be just old
s
They are big-time stress reliever!
I play what my brother calls 'girly' games - Final Fantasy, tetris, etc. I also have a couple murder mystery-type games, but I have to watch playing them when I'm home alone because I'll scare myself! I know it's pathetic but some of those games have things that jump out at you! I guess that's why I stick to the 'girly' games! LOL
Anybody have stress bother them and then get sick?
Ever since I have been stressed over a certain situation in transcription, and my family's budget I have become extremely tired and it is really hard to get my line count. Every day as the pressure builds regarding this my line count gets lower, no matter how hard I try. Anybody in this situation or ever been, I'd appreciate advice. I am trying stress busters, exercising, reading books, taking time to go outside, but nothing is working.
Every time I sit down to type, I just get more and more worried and I can't produce! It is like my heart is going on strike against the position I have because there are problems with the situation and it makes my money situation even worse. My husband is very understanding but this has got to stop. I want to feel good about my job again and my production. If you say get another job, I understand about that, but what about until the other job starts, what do I do? Arrrggggg. I know life is no picnic but it could at least provide piece of mind so I can do my job! Thanks in advance for any and every suggestion or advice. It will be well appreciated
If she's such a good kid, why stress her more by making her pay
for car/gas/insurance? I think that making good grades and having extracurricular school activities are enough. If she has to work also then something might slip, probably her grades. My girls, now 30 and 33, did theater, choir, drill team and we took care of the car. They did not turn out to be slackers. Maybe taking her siblings to school and running errands is enough of a payment.
Believe it or not, my favorite stress reliever is
SEX. Seriously.
Anyone on Lexapro for stress and anxiety?
Do you like it? Is it working for you?
Stress - thanks all for yesterday - got the Bach and the multi-Bs (sm)
Still stressing but feeling much better today. Didn't get out until 8 pm last night to make my purchases and still had a rough night, but this morning I am much calmer. Thanks to everyone who had any comments or suggestrions - I really needed you guys yesterday and appreciate you being there!
Emotional upset and stress. Such as reading MT
x
I would say that you have every reason to have panic attacks what with all the stress you've SM
been under. I take Effexor XR for my painic attacks and atenolol to help control my BP and it keeps my heart rate down. The combination works wonderfully, although I wonder if I've become a little too dependent on it as I sometimes get a little anxious at the thought of being without my Effexor.
I would have periodic episodes of anxiousness going all the way back to my teenage years, but I would always work through it myself. Then a year ago, in the midst of marital trouble and feeling alone as I lived two states away from friends and family, I started having what I now know to be gallbladder pain while I was at work. In my mind, I knew I wasn't having a heart attack, the pain was in my right rib cage and radiated around to my right scapula. But I couldn't seem to convince my body. My heart started racing, my mind was racing. I felt dizzy and short of breath. I went to the employee health nurse who took my BP and it was sky high. She immediately rushed me to the ER which freaked me out even further.
Long story short, I was having a full blown panic attack and I hope that I never experience anything like that again. I ended up crying for three weeks straight, was afraid be left alone, was afraid to leave my house, couldn't eat, couldn't sleep, would pace the house with my heart racing, not able to calm myself down.
I saw three different doctors before I found a female doctor who listened to me and told me she knew exactly what I was talking about because her daughter had panick attacks too. She started me on Effexor and set me up with a therapist who taught me breathing techniques and meditation techniques to help calm myself when I feel anxious. One technique, as simple as it sounds, is something I practice almost daily which is deep breathing: in through your nose and out through your mouth and as you exhale allow your body to relax starting from the shoulders down. It seems silly, but it really works. I noticed that I clenched my jaw a lot and so that is were I focus my mind when I'm trying to relax. I focus on the tension in my jaw and start relaxing from there down.
Exercise is another great technique for relieving anxiety and stress. All the experts say that, and it's true. Just getting outside and walking can clear the mind.
Well, I've rambled on and on. Sorry about that. Let me just add one more thing, if you decide to try medication, my advice would be to be patient. Sometimes it takes a few different trials of medication before you find the one that fits. My doctor explained to me that panick attacks are caused by an overactive fight or flight response in the brain and so SSRI antidepressants like Zoloft or Celexa won't do the trick. You have to have a NRI (norepinephrine reuptake inhibitor) to calm the response.
I'm not saying you need medicine, but I am saying that you may want to get a handle on it now so you don't have to go through what I did. I can't even explain how horrible it feels to have your mind spinning of control. I felt like I was genuinely losing my mind.
Well, anyway I feel for you and I wish you well.
I'm one of the few Grinches here who agrees with you. Enough w/the stress & extra calories in the
s
I agree. Hand him the headphones to have a listen. And stress how
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I think finances and stress ALL play a huge part in this. nm
n
Definitely stress. Cops said once that Xmas eve with alcohol & money
s
Stress to vet office this is urgent or call emerg. vet.
x
Home Alone 1, A Christmas Story, Home for the Holidays, Chevy Chase's Christmas, sm
There "The Gift of the Magi," He sells his gold watch to buy her a comb for her hair and she sells her beautiful long hair to buy him a chain for his gold watch. It used to be on "Short Stories by O'Henry" but that's long gone, long ago. Good moral to the story. I can't stand "It's a Wonderful Life" -- too depressing, especially with banks closing, too intimidating right now!!!
Get some B-stress vitamins, Bach Rescue Remedy spray (sm)
Valerian Root to help you sleep. If all else fails ask the doc for something temporary for stress. I have been so stressed out before I couldn't stand it. Best wishes to you! I hope things get better soon. Take a day off!! A mental health day! Be lazy, take a hot bath, take a long walk.
Christmas
 We are doing Chistmas a little different this year and I don't know if I like it. We are each taking $300 and buying stuff for ourselves and boxing it up. No one knows what the others bought themselves. Then the rest of us will all pitch in $50 and buy a gift to the others. Kinda confusing if you ask me! But it will be fun! Think it might be even less expensive than usual. Happy weekend~!
christmas
I like to start the first time it turns nice and cold - which in Texas is not usually too early! But my lists are always made and ready to go!
Christmas
I agree it is dumb not to let the employs say merry Christmas or any other greeting they choose. just my two cents.
Christmas
MERRY, MERRY CHRISTMAS!!! AND HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JESUS!!!!
Christmas
I did mean to capitalize Christmas! Again, Merry, Merry Christmas to everyone!
Christmas
I truly want to wish every single poster a Merry Christmas.
My want list for Christmas:
I want to recognize the Christ in Christmas as well as the fun of holiday celebration and cheer through many venues.
I want to be mindful of every human being that has less than I do, for there are many. I am the most blessed person I know:
I want to be thankful that my family is all with me, intact, in communication (hahaha), not estranged, and loving/enjoying being together.
I want to be grateful that I am gainfully employed and have other options if I so choose.
I want to celebrate that I have my health intact.
I want to live respectfully toward others because I live in a country that provides protection and security for me and others, God bless and save them, are willing to make the sacrifice to provide it for me.
Most of all, I want every person who feels lost, isolated, alone, left out that you are not alone. Just know that He is mindful of you. I know - not believe, but know - that God knows exactly who I am and where I am going and He will take care of me. I want you to know that, too.
Merry Christmas to each one of you and yours ...
Busy MT'ing
This is one sad Christmas.
One relative dying, another quite ill, but hanging in there, and now we have run very low on less scary diagnoses for my dog, and we suspect she has a brain tumor. Vet school is working her up, which I appreciate, and thank goodness I have another dog so the house isn't too quiet. But this rainy weather should quit so I could at least walk my healthy dog and feel a little better, not to mention what it's doing to anybody who needs to make Christmas travel plans, or in our case, probable funeral travel plans.
Sigh.
Sad Christmas
I'm sorry you are feeling sad, I can sympathize. This is the first year in a LONG time I will be alone on Christmas morning, between having my own children with me and then my grandchildren - oops, just got reminded I won't be totally alone - I have a little kitten, and she just jumped on my back! I'm sorry your pet is ill, they can certainly be a great comfort to us - I've only had this kitten two weeks, but already very attached to her. Also, I realize none of us who are believers are ever really alone.
All I want for Christmas is
Some good dictators this morning. Gosh, told them I would give a few hours this morning but why 1 bad dictator after another? Please, just this wish??? Don’t really want that much.
all I want for Christmas is to have the day off--sm
I did not *volunteer* to work, nor was I asked to work. I was just *given* work and *expected* that it would be done. I had to rearrange my whole planned holiday events schedule to get this done. I am REALLY upset. Thanks for letting me vent. oh, I am IC, not employee.
So Sad this Christmas
Oh please, don't anyone flame me. I honestly can't take it right now. I am so depressed, I can't believe I'm depressed enough to write here. I am not a depressed person - ever. I don't know if its my age (50) or something else. My job? I don't know, but this Christmas just did me in........Every year I do the same thing - I really like giving things and am just boringly nice - a good old egg type. Laid back. Usually give stuff anonymously, so nobody knows. But at Christmas, I like to give little things. For instance, I will go up and down my street and put cards in mailboxes, signed your neighbor. I know some animal rescuers in my area, and will leave them a card, thanking them for their work, and stick little cat toys on it, if they are cat rescuers, or dog toys if dog rescuers - I just take a simple card and put cute stuff on it. No big deal, really, but something to try and be nice. I have a few elderly shut-in neighbors. I give them cards with little boxed cakes or stuff, potpourri - little things. I send cards to all my church members, my coworkers and yet....not a mention of it from anyone. I also will stick a card unsigned in a house who has really cute Christmas lights up or something, just saying how great their house looked this year, or whatever. My kids and I like picking a different house each year and doing that. But the bummer thing is - nobody cares. Nobody even smiles at me, nobody even acknowledges anything. I don't expect huge praises or calls or people stopping by, or announcements in the local paper, but a smile? I have passed some of these people on the street and they just grunt at me. They USED to be friendly, but now the attitude is just no big deal. I'm not even worthy of a small smile. My husband thinks that these people just take me for granted by now - that they just are not really nice enough to smile back. Or that I make them feel bad by being nice. I really used to enjoy doing this, but now am just so despondent about it. I have decided next year, no cards, no nothing, no reaching out to neighbors - just let them all alone. Is it me? Am I a jerk for giving out little cards and stuff? I am not bothersome. I'm really shy actually, and never impose, other than these Christmas cards, or if I know its their birthday or something. In this day and age, am I just a pain? The rest of the year, again, I give things anonymously, or practical things like dog food donations, etc. I won't stop that, but I just have given up on trying to be personable at Christmas. But I don't understand what I have done wrong... If I were a nosey neighbor type, always intruding or asking for something, I would understand. But I'm the exact opposite - never ask for anything from anyone. Is it just our times? Should I just go stick my head in a hole? 
sad Christmas
I wouldn't be surprised if you touch someone in a special way or bring a smile to someone's face out of all those people you give things to, even if you don't see that person (or animal ina shelter). When we do something kind like that, you never know how you may have affected a lonely person or needy animal and made their day a little brighter. Please don't stop being a "giver"! :)
Christmas? What's that?
Sad to say, about the only thing we really do for Christmas is I actually cook a traditional Christmas dinner. We haven't decorated the house or given gifts for years. Our son (now 20 years old) prefers money so he can buy what he wants, and my husband and I set an amount based on what our budget can handle and we each buy what we want.
Pathetic, huh?
Christmas is for everybody
Sorry I think that Christmas is for everyone. Yes the kids love it but sometimes the kids get sooooooooooooooo much that the adults are forgotten. When you give with resentment it is better not to give. I love shopping for everyone and put a lot of thought and time into it but not much money. I have two nephews and a niece that are grown and married who have children of their own that I am very close to. I buy for them because their kids get so much from Santa, grandparents, parents, etc. and I think of them as "my kids" and so I buy for them and not the little ones. I spend time with the younger ones (great nephews and nieces) doing Christmas decorations/cookies etc. And some of them are now 19 to 20 and they still remember those "special times." As for my stepdaughters, even though their Dad and I are divorced, I still remember them with something that I know that they like, special perfume, lotion, little things that they don't buy for themselves. They are now 27 and 25 and I still send them things which is more than their Dad does. Anyway, I admit it, I love to get things at Christmas if it is given with love and if someone can't buy me something, again spending time with me is nice and also appreciated. I just get tired of hearing "Christmas is for kids" as I think Christmas is for all -- and to all a good night. But I did hear some resentment in your note which is too bad.
Ahh.... since this will be my 2nd Christmas
I miss her telling me what, when, how, and why and my husband does, and so do my kids. Believe me, try to make it work - the real dilemma is once your mother is gone, you can do whatever you want! I'm not saying this to be brash, but really, I only wish one more time, I'd get that phone call saying what was going down, when, how, and what I was cooking all pretty much directed by my mother. Now, all I have is memories, and to stare a picture and wonder.................
Regarding Christmas
A letter from God to His children ...
Dear Children,
It has come to my attention that many of you are upset that folks are taking My name out of the season. Maybe you've forgotten that I wasn't actually born during this time of the year and that it was some of your predecessors who decided to celebrate My birthday on what was actually a time of pagan festival, although I do appreciate being remembered anytime.
How I personally feel about this celebration can probably be most easily understood by those of you who have been blessed with children of your own. I don't care what you call the day. If you want to celebrate My birth, just GET ALONG AND LOVE ONE ANOTHER.
Now having said that, let Me go on.
If it bothers you that the town in which you live doesn't allow a scene depicting My birth, then just get rid of a couple of Santas and snowmen and put in a small Nativity scene on your own front lawn. If all My followers did that there wouldn't be any need for such a scene on the town square because there would be many of them all around town.
Stop worrying about the fact that people are calling the tree a holiday tree instead of a Christmas tree. It was I who made all trees. You can and may remember Me anytime you see any tree. Decorate a grape vine if you wish; I actually spoke of that one in a teaching that explains who I am in relation to you and what each of our tasks are. If you have forgotten that one, look at John 15:1-8.
If you want to give Me a present in remembrance of My birth here is my wish list. Choose something from it.
1. Instead of writing protest letters objecting to the way My birthday is being celebrated, write letters of love and hope to soldiers away from home. They are terribly afraid and lonely this time of year. I know, they tell Me all the time.
2. Visit someone in a nursing home. You don't have to know them personally. They just need to know that someone cares about them.
3. Instead of writing George complaining about the wording on the cards his staff sent out this year, why don't you write and tell him that you'll be praying for him and his family this year. Then follow up. It will be nice hearing from you again.
4. Instead of giving your children a lot of gifts you can't afford and they don't need, spend time with them. Tell them the story of My birth and why I came to live with you down here. Hold them in your arms and remind them that I love them.
5. Pick someone that has hurt you in the past and forgive him or her.
6. Did you know that someone in your town will attempt to take their own life this season because they feel so alone and hopeless? Since you don't know who that person is, try giving everyone you meet a warm smile. It could make the difference. Also, you might consider supporting the local Hot-Line: they talk with people like that every day.
7. Instead of nit-picking about what the retailer in your town calls the holiday, be patient with the people who work there. Give them a warm smile and a kind word. Even if they aren't allowed to wish you a "Merry Christmas" that doesn't keep you from wishing them one.
Then stop shopping there on Sunday. If the store didn't make so much money on that day they'd close and let their employees spend the day at home with their families.
8. If you really want to make a difference, support a missionary, especially one who takes My love and Good News to those who have never heard My name. You may already know someone like that.
9. Here's a good one. There are individuals and whole families in your town who not only will have no "Christmas" tree, but neither will they have any presents to give or receive. If you don't know them (and I suspect you don't) buy some food and a few gifts and give them to the Marines, the Salvation Army, or some other charity that believes in Me and they will make the delivery for you.
10. Finally if you want to make a statement about your belief in and loyalty to Me, then behave like a Christian. Don't do things in secret that you wouldn't do in My presence. Let people know by your actions that you are one of Mine.
P.S. Don't forget: I am God and can take care of Myself. Just love Me and do what I have told you to do. I'll take care of all the rest. Check out the list above and get to work; time is short. I'll help you, but the ball is now in your court. And do have a most blessed Christmas with all those you love and remember I LOVE YOU.
~ God |
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Christmas
"We plunged into the cornucopia, quivering with delight and the ecstasy of unbridled avarice."
My best one was the Christmas I
After everything was open and my brothers and I were so excited to be playing, my Mom asked me to get something from the kitchen. Of course it was dark because we'd get up so early. There it was my Barbie Dreamhouse in the kitchen! I loved that Christmas and it got lots of play...
 Fav foods are cookies, cookies, and more cookies that my sister-in-law makes. I have an aunt that makes Walnut cookies to die for! Every year she'd bring a tin, but we don't see her much at Christmas now that my parents are gone.
On a lighter note, I love seeing our kids opening their stuff! It brings back great memories! 
christmas
I like the idea of celebrating the birth of a new family when a child is born.
Christmas
I celebrate Christmas because to recognize the birth of Jesus...and I love decorating. I love to give presents, but do not really care if I receive any. Too many people have forgotten what this holiday is all about. I do not say Happy Holidays to people...I say Merry Christmas. If they don't like it, I don't really care. I'm tired of the liberals trying to take God out of everything. That's one of the reasons this country has gone to Hell and will continue to do so. This country was founded on Christian values, but most have forgotten that. A friend of mine is Jewish, so I do say Happy Channukah to her, but that's the only exception.
So, Merry Christmas everybody!
christmas
Put on some Christmas music, dance around and decorate your tree. You are not late! Make some sugar cookies, they are cheap. Donate a can of food, that is enough. Stick a bow on your head and you have got the boyfriend covered...
Merry Christmas!
It's Christmas eve....
What are you doing today to get ready for "the big day" tomorrow?
Any special activities or traditions you and yours engage in on Christmas eve?
Anyone have lots of cooking/baking in front of them today and tonight in preparation for tomorrow?
Any last minute shoppers or some with just a last-minute gift to pick up?
I'm curious...What's everyone doing today and tonight?
***MERRY CHRISTMAS, FELLOW MTs***
My Christmas........ sm
Tonight, we will have our annual Christmas tree with my mom and brother, who is still unmarried at the ripe old age of 45. I made a cheese log,2 dips, a jalapeno tuna tray thing, chocolate covered pretzels, and sugar plums for that. We stuff ourselves silly and exchange gifts.
On Christmas day, we have our Christmas dinner. This year it is ham and I am making "pink stuff" and green bean bundles to go with it and will do most of that tonight. Again, we will stuff ourselves beyond the bounds of human decency.
I'm done with my shopping, thank goodness. I went last night to finish up and the stores were absolute chaos!
Merry Christmas to all!!
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