but that is not you daughters fault sm
Posted By: NC MT on 2009-05-19
In Reply to: Spoiled, yes, I see nothing wrong with that - Mother talking here
that you had such a horrible life. I feel for you. I too had a pretty rough childhood but no way would I even think to make one of my kids pay for that. Sounds like you need some serious counseling or you are going to be one miserable lonely old lady.
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Thank God for daughters
My daughter came home and started going through scripture. This is what she came up with. It made me even sadder thinking about what a loss it is to lose a child.
Our dearest friends, "Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about what happens to you." -1 James 5:7 We are truly sorry for the world's loss and your pain. We're here for you.
me: Appreciate the input to all who posted. I knew she'd do it for me, but wasn't sure if she'd be here in time.
This is so sad....
I have three daughters (sm)
My oldest daughter has a different father than my youngest two. This situation had nothing with a breach of faithfulness to my ex-husband or current husband. I've been entirely faithful in my marriages. My current husband raises her as his own and has since before she was 2. We have as close to a nuclear family as can be expected in this situation.
We cannot assume that because children have different biological fathers (or mothers) in one family that there was some wrongdoing. :)
Two daughters 14 and 4
1. What ages are your kids?
14 and 4
2. Do they have their own cell phone? No,we were planning on getting my daughter a prepaid cell phone for Christmas until we realized all she wanted it for was to text and talk to her friends even though we had told her it was just for emergencies. She uses her father's cell phone if she needs to be away from home where I don't have an exact time to pick her up and has to call for a ride. Too many of her friends have cell phones and run up $500 bills and their parents think nothing of it (that's why we were leaning towards a prepay) or have the most expensive cell phones on the market. We also thought that she'd use up in her minutes in weeks instead of months.
3. Do they have their own TV and or computer in their room? If so, are there set hours they're allowed to use these: My four year doesn't have a TV yet, but my oldest does. She has her own laptop computer courtesy of her cousin, but it's right next to mine and she only can be on it for an hour a day. She's been grounded from it so many times for going over the hour, but she knows there are consequences for not following the rules.
4. Do they receive an allowance? If so, are they required to do chores to receive this?
The four year old doesn't yet, although she helps me more than the 14 year old without asking. LOL. The 14 year old just gets $5 a week for doing her chores, more when I'm really busy and I need her to watch her younger sister.
my daughters are 5, 2, and 1 so they don't say anything
sometimes the 5 year old will aske me why I don't like granny or why granny doesn't talk to me.
To answere your question, no, not really.
Long story short, brother in law was in jail and wanted pics of our kids. we said no and told her not to send either. she sent them anyway and when my husband called to say something to her about it, he talked to his dad and he got all mad about us not wanting pics of our kids in jail. they did not call us, talk to us, see our kids for 6 months. Then want to pretend like nothing ever happened (with my husband) when they came for a b-day party in Nov. This was the first time we saw them and she gave me a complete attitude, did not speak to me, turned her back to me everytime I said anything.
anyone have cheerleader daughters? sm
my 15yo is trying out next week. she was cheerleader on little league squads, but hasn't been in jr. high and now trying out for varsity. they have to make up their own cheer. any ideas? i've been searching the net just for some ideas and everything is just the same ole, same ole. FYI, not trying to copy but just get some ideas to make the brain flow for me/her to try to put somethign together. she needs something different and unique to make her stand out since she is up against lots of cheerleaders that have been on the squad for years. something short, with a jump or two in it. HELP please!!!
my 19 and 21 year old daughters sm
wore a size 4 shoe since they were 12. It is hard for them to get grown up looking shoes. They are about 5 feet. They would love to have bigger feet. They take after my mother in law who was a size 4 her whole life.
puberty/daughters
There are many variations of menarche and the menstrual cycle that are considered "normal" from one female to another. For instance, my daughter, who is now 15, had her menarche at age 10; however, it was very light, brief, and definitely not from month-to-month. She developed early, is very tall (5ཆ"), and is of medium-to-slender build. She now has regular cycles, albeit on the "long" side, of approximately 36-40 days. She has played soccer and basketball.
They say that sometimes the daughter's OB/GYN history will follow that of the mother - but not always. I was on the track team in high school, was always very active with school, chorus, and band, but my body type was very thin and tiny. I weighed less than 95 pounds in my senior year. I am currently in my early 40s and weigh about 112 pounds (two pregnancies, with nine and ten-pound babies - no gestational diabetes) and am 5ƈ". I did not reach menarche until about the age of 15, but my cycles are short, about 26 days.
Just as with babies and potty training, for example, as long as there is no pain, sharp or otherwise, no passing large clots, fever, etc., I'm sure all will be well. It (puberty with fruition of regular menses) is "gearing up" in a sense. In fact, before my daughter's very first period, red blood cells were detected on a routine urine culture. The pediatrician knew right away that menarche was pending; sure enough, it happened within a couple of weeks.
btw, with your attitude, if you have daughters
I'd be willing to bet they would have an abortion behind your back rather than suffer your judgment by having a baby at a young age or out of wedlock. Would that feel good on your conscience? You could be missing out on the joy of grandbabies!
Thanks for this info. My 2 daughters and
I just bought a batch of 6 each. Thanks again.
He is 100% at fault.
He agreed to park it on his property and it was stolen while on his watch. End of story. Yes, your husband perhaps should have taken care of things before he drove off for the night, BUT your BIL agreed to keep it for him. Yes, as the poster below stated, it is really no different than if he borrowed your car and it was stolen while in his possession. I would not let it go, they are plain out and out wrong. I do not understand how people sleep at night when they treat others that way, family to boot!
I truly hope you get something resolved. Good luck to you.
It's not the dog's fault
Why would you call them stupid dogs and then say you can't shoot them?? and you have a dog of your own. It's the pet owner's responsibility. The dog's don't bark just to annoy the neighbors. The owners should take responsibility or they shouldn't have dogs.
s
No....it isn't the dog's fault.
The OP was complaining of just barking. I was complaining about a lot more than just barking. My mother is 64 y/o, widowed, and suffers from MS. She has a right to be able to walk in her yard without worrying about the neighbor's dog knocking her over, barking at her, tearing out her trash, or getting under her feet and making her fall.
I understand that it isn't the dog's fault but no matter how many times you call the Sherriff or the humane society.....nothing is done. They still have the dogs and my mom still deals with it everyday. She has no rights whatsoever to keep her yard animal free and she has to live like this.
I personally feel that anyone should have a right to shoot any stray animal on their property. If pet owners aren't going to be responsible enough to keep their pets in their own yard, they have to live with the idea of someone shooting their pet. I don't like other dogs on my property. I don't allow my dog to go off of our property.
Not your fault sm
There is a program on called, "Intervention" and you may or may not get it in your area (on cable). It is a very sad but true reality show that deals with addiction. You didn't do it to him. He has this "go" factor in his brain that makes him want the drug more than anything else in the world and he will lie, cheat and steal to get it. If there is free counseling, get it or call NA and ask if there is a program you could go to yourself to learn how to deal with it. You can't go to AA for drugs unfortunately because they'll let you know right off the bat that it's for alcohol. There may be programs for multiple addictions you could attend. It all depends what tools you have wherever you live. Don't cushion his fall and don't be an enabler. I had to cut myself off from a brother I love dearly but he has to learn that I won't give him money, won't take his BS stories or anymore schemes. When I saw him last, I cried, he looked awful, but he did it to himself, the drug rules. There are many online chat rooms and I think if you Google "Recovery" or 12 step programs you may want to go in, sign in and just listen and at least get some feedback. You did not cause it and don't think for one moment you can cure it. The only one who can help your son is God and if you believe it, some power higher than himself. But he has to want it more than the drug. Intervenion may help. Don't enable him or he will reach a tragic end. Most of all, take care of yourself.
it's not all his fault
My dad is a teacher in California (I live in a different state) and has had 10 days per school year cut from his paycheck. The vacations are also longer during the school year as well. I don't understand the whole new office furniture purchase from your superintendent, but it sounds like your school system is just like everywhere else. Government-run systems/jobs have all had to make cuts, and schools seem to be the first that get screwed. All of the changes he has made probably stem from mandatory cuts he has to make to save money. Each school is going to be different how they implement them.
My husband's parents work for a government college and they are having the same problem with money. The college laid off so many people to save money. It is sad, but nothing can be done when it comes to mandatory cut backs. Hopefully things will change in the future, but it sounds like they are floundering to find ways to save money anyway the can.
Two daughters go back next Wednesday
Two days after Labor Day. One starting 8th grade at a the Junior High and one starting preschool. I'm in NY.
As the mother of two young daughters
one who got pregnant with her loser boyfriend at 20 - I can only send hugs and more hugs. No amount of talking did any good - she knew better and was making some kind of statement to us and she got pregnant still thought she was a smarty pants - they then split up, she met someone else, immedately became engaged, planned a wedding and got PG again before wedding. It has only been 18 months since the wedding but she knows she rushed through everything, has regrets but has learned lessons. I would just push contraception, I would let her know how disappointed you are - you have a right to your feelings - support her in other ways if you can and try not to let it ruin your relationship. She is due for a huge fall but they somehow need to experience this. I am so sorry!!
Amen! My daughters and I do laugh
about this now. I went through this twice. The first daughter was not as bad as the second daughter. They were six years apart so I did get kind of a break. Believe, me this phase does pass.
Our two daughters "came out" a year or so ago...
and it wasn't really a shock. I had already suspected it when they were wearing rainbow stuff, even had a rainbow dental retainer, but my husband just didn't want to believe and stated that everyone likes rainbows and that didn't mean anything LOL. Our children were afraid of our reaction so that is why they delayed telling us. I wish they would have realized a long time ago that if they were purple, polka-dot or whatever they chose to be, we love them the same. One of them is still unsure of her sexuality so we just stay supportive while she finds her own identity etc. My husband's daughter who came out was afraid to tell her maternal grandparents, and when she did, she got the reaction she expected, total abandonment and was told to never discuss her life with them at all. That is very sad to me. We continue to support and love them and keep an open mind when we have met their "partners." I will admit at first I was sad because at some point you realize all the dreams you have for your child are gone as in getting married, having children etc.. but I soon realized that this can still happen, just not in the tradition way. Love is unconditional. That's my thought.
Good advice for your daughters.
Hi XXX: Read all your posts with Mom with girls. Basically I agree with most everything you say. I too took my daughter to Family Planning Clinic, where she was given BC pills. I told her the facts of life and warned her about consequences of getting pregnant or some diseases too. I left the decision up to her and the responsibility of taking the pills. She was 18 at that time and already graduated from high school, so legally an adult. She did become pregnant at 18 and went through pregnancy and gave birth, but not married. The father came along and helped with money to raise his child. They did have a stormy time of it, but now they are 31 and 30 with 3 more children. She was lucky because her husband is very responsible now, building contractor and very good father. he absolutely loves his children, so my daughter was very lucky. Of course we know that not all girls have a happy ending to their story.
All you can do as a mother is to support your children, give them guidance and proper moral standards that hopefully they will live by. I have really tried very hard to not be judgmental or to criticize when the problems came. I think that is probably the worse thing to do to your kids. After all we all make mistakes. Of course it is easier to give advice than the actual practicing of this advice. Whatever happens to your kids, try to stand by them and love them.
hospital CEO's at fault too
Nurses not work when they are tired? Hospitals need to hire enough nurses so that won't be forced to work when they are tired- ARH nurses in our state are on strike right now fighting for this. about the Quaid babies, I agree the meds should be in totally different colored bottles.
You are saying to make up when you think not your fault?
I have done this before, a relative got very angry with me years ago and I told them if I could visit again I would never say anything to upset them again- if they said the sky was striped I would say, yes it was- that is what I had to do if I wanted to see them so I have done that- now having said that- he is upset about the fact he thinks I took his money and told me so. Why try to make amends when it would never be right in his eyes- he still feels slighted. An apology from me would not change his perspective on my having
so called cheated him out of what was due him.
Except FL has no fault divorce. Everything is 50/50.
nnnnnnnnnnnnnn
And it's not their fault you offend them.
But--this is another reason. It was very nicely explained, and yet the arguing continues. Sometimes you just need to state your opinion and move on. There are some you just won't win. Like this one--or the puppy mill one. Somtimes people just don't want to hear it, let alone hear it over and over again. Just step away from the situation.
how did i even imply it was his fault?
I was asking if it is something that can be worked out. Obviously this is my only long-term relationship. And what gave you the impression I "go out all the time". First of all I don't drink, at all. Secondly I NEVER went out until 2 years ago because he was in the Marines and I just stayed home all the time waiting for him and being worried... but you sound a lot like my mom, like if I am not married and popping out babies by the time I'm 30, I'm a total failure.
How will our daughters learn to stand up for themselves if we do not lead by example
I have always stood up for my daughter and have tried to teach her the same and now that she is getting older I can see that it is paying off. You go girl!!!!!
Questions for moms with daughters in puberty.. sm
My daughter will be 13 in December. Back in early August she had what I thought was the starting of her menses. She had some blood for about one week and then done. She has not had anything for the month of September. Is this normal? When I started I never remember stopping after the first one. She does play a lot of soccer and takes dance, so that might be part of it to. Any other mom's experiencing this?? She knows all about sex and pregnancy, so I know that is not an issue, especially since she goes nowhere without me or her dad. Thanks for any input.
Two of my daughters have them on their lists. Found them at K-Mart for 29.99 nm
x
I meant before now- you sound like it's my fault
I mean I have never gotten in trouble before this. Yes - I work for an extremely strict company - if you are late more than 5 minutes twice in a 30 day period, it counts as an absence. I missed one day last week for my daughter having strep; prior to that I had missed one day in 7 months due to child illness. My employer says you have to have someone else to watch your child when they are sick
And I bet the divorces weren't her fault, either.
f
It is not my fault others get offended at my opinions
x
maybe it's the post office fault.
x
No, NOTHING makes it the woman's fault, BUT....
I don't think the woman has anything to do with whether a man cheats or not. Period. End of Story. Spare me the long sob story about how the woman *never put out* for her man.
That said...
If a person who has been cheated on just sits and lets nature take its course, almost always they are vindicated.
If Princess Diana had just let Charles be Charles, he would have become and STAYED the laughingstock of Britain. And she would have become Queen. (Okay, maybe not Queen, but she was then and is still an icon in Britain, and he would have never recovered from his cheating on her).
In looking at the John Edwards scandal - it's very similar. Elizabeth never did anything wrong. If she continues on that path until her death, ultimately John Edwards will probably NEVER recover politically speaking.
When you do the RIGHT thing instead of the convenient thing, you will ultimately be vindicated.
I also disagree that it is never the woman's fault.
I do not know what your circumstances are, but there are a lot of wives out there whose fault it is that their husbands leave them.
There is something I would never, never do and this is cheating with a married man.
This is downright despicable, ruining marriages.
I named my daughters Katie Ann and Kelsey Nicole. sm
Our son is Kyle. I also like the name Kellen for a boy or a girl. Good luck!
I say it's her mother's fault. Supposedly she was stage mom from
!!!!
It was the OWNERS' fault for allowing the dog to run loose.
The fact that you didn't see him and ran over him was an accident. That accident wouldn't have occurred if those people had been responsible dog owners and kept him in a securely fenced yard.
Nothing makes it the woman's fault - not even if she also cheats. sm
Two wrongs don't make a right. Men need to act more like humans and less like animals, and keep themselves under control.
Thank you! From a Mom who had 2 daughters, serving 3 separate tours in Iraq - twice over Christmas.
.
On the subject of fault. Dont read if easily
If my opinion upsets someone, I think it is their "fault" (for lack of a better word) if they get upset. Everyone owns their own feelings and should not let someone else's opinion have so much power over how they feel. As far as lemmings and masses, those are generalities, a comment on society as a whole, not aimed at any one person.
I am sorry if my opinions have so much influence over others. I will try to keep my thoughts in check.
It's not the worker's fault. She has to follow the rules or be fired. sm
I've taken a lot of flack from a lot of customers, and the run-of-the-mill retail worker really has no freedom to make decisions. When the worker is caught between a yelling customer and a yelling manager, who do you think she'll listen to?
My MIL named her twin daughters Mary and Mary.
No lie. And now you have a pretty good picture of the kind of mother-in-law stories I can tell. And I do have MIL stories!
How is the school's fault if Johnny comes to school armed?
And how is the school's fault if off campus people are getting jumped? Everybody wants to blame the schools, but the reason places have gone "zero tolerance" is because every parent whose kid gets popped for an illegal weapon says, "Oh, my little pookie wouldn't do that." Which is exactly what the parents of every perpetrator of school violence has said. At 15, this girl should have been aware that it was verboten and, if they felt that strongly it was necessary, kept it hidden. If she is not capable of thinking that part through, maybe she shouldn't be trusted with pepper spray anyway.
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