annoying neighbor

• Between a rock and a hard place - HELP! - Sinking fast
  • Did you know what the responsibilities were (sm) - Been there and done that
  • here is my take ......sm - Emerald
  • Well....I think I think things through more carefully next time (sm) - Sorry but
    • think I'd think things through...nm - Sorry but - correction
  • That's a tough one. - sm
  • annoying neighbor - MI MT
    • I'd get a similar thing with a neighbor (sm() - lmao
      • LOL - Should have said "I'm going to my happy place. See you when I get back!" - The other sunshine

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Nice, I have one of those outfits too.  I call it my "Puffy Ninja" outfit.  Kind of like a black Pillsbury Doughboy, right?  I noticed that when I fall down while shoveling it makes it kind of hard to get back up with all those layers.  My husband took pity and bought a snowblower for me to use and put racing stripes on it to lure me into wanting to use it.  Phooey on that.  I'll make hot chocolate for him while he snowblows to his heart's content.  He can enjoy those racing stripes and cold icy water going down his back while I stir the chocolate in my fuzzy slippers.  Doesn't California look good sometimes? 

First, what state do you live in? Some states have a one-party (the caller) notification and others it takes the authorization of both parties to tape a phone call.  In such a state if you tape a conversation without the other person's permission you can be in deep doo-doo!! 

 

   http://www.rcfp.org/taping/   To see what your state requires, click on the state-by-state guide on the side bar.

 

It sounds like management isn't doing what their suppose to.  I live in a two-family apartment and have a lot of unused land around the house so I have no idea how the rules are in a large apartment complex work. If management won't help, then I would go to the Sheriff and get a restraining order. Sounds like Nosey Neighbor is more or less off kilter by the alcohol intake.

 

As for the pup, call animal control. If she didn't license her dog, in many states it's six months) She might get either a warning or ticket. Plus, I think it would be a health hazard to allow an animal to pee and poo in a common indoor walkway.....isn't it???

 

You don't want to tick management off to the degree that you might have a hefty rent increase or even an eviction. 

One thing I don't see that really will matter especially with these more agressive breeds...are they fixed?  If one or both of these are intact males, all bets are off.  You do not want to attempt to bring them together if they are intact males because that will change everything. 

IMO, you and your neighbor may want your dogs to friends but in all likehood they don't.  They are each used to their own territory and if they have not been socialized up to this point, then bringing a strange adult dog into their home will only set them up to fail.  In all honesty, your dog is probably going to be happier staying at home without you then going with you to the neighbors.

My mom has had issues with her neighbor's dogs for a long time.  If they aren't barking, they are pooping in the yard, tearing out the trash, etc.  We have called the Humane Society.  They don't do anything....at least around here they don't.  We have called the Sheriff's Department and they said there was nothing they could do.  We can't shoot them as that is animal cruelty.  Those stupid dogs have more rights than humans do it seems.  

If there dog is a big dog, I most certainly would not want it in my house.  I have an Aussie that stays outside.  When he barks, we don't bring him in the house.  We do, however, tell him to knock it off and he usually does.  We don't just let him bark and bark.  We also don't have neighbors right next to us either.

Irresponsible dog owners are a pet peeve of mine.  In fact, I've thought several times of writing a letter to the Editor of our local newspaper about irresponsible dog owners.

Do the other neighbor's say anything about this dog? 

Awhile back I wrote that I wish there was a draft and the neighbor's kid would be drafted.  Got lots of messages telling me bout the terrors of other neighborhood kids.  Just thought I'd update you on this.  This kid is 14 years old (is about as big as a full grown overweight adult) and his attitude is getting worse and worse.  Seems like his parents don't know how to control him and they don't.  He calls his little brother the "B" word (usually what we refer to other women as), he's constantly saying "homee and home boy", uses the "f" word in about every sentence that comes out of his mouth.  The other day was about the final point for me.  He was using hedge trimmers to do whatever he was doing.  Well the thing wasn't working to his liking and he used about every swear word imaginable in a single sentence.  The lady two houses across from me in the back yard yelled out to him - "Hey watch your language".  She was coughing and sounded sick and I'm sure she didn't like what he was saying.  His reply to her was "Shut the "f" up or I'll come over and kill you".  I don't think she heard it as he did not say it loud enough but DH and I heard it.  All I could think of was where are his parents.  They were there about 5 minutes before that.  He also has a couple freinds of another color and when they are in the back yard with him he feels the need to do a whole "routine" like what you see in the movies.  Well yesterday we happened to catch a movie on TV (by accident - it was on and we couldn't find the remote to change the channel) but it was called Alpha Dog and our mouths about dropped.  Not sure if any of you have seen it but it is exactly the way the kid next door acts and talks.  They call each other the "B" word (still didn't realize they call guys that), and the expletives in that movie were even more than I can take (and I can sure use the words at times - bad language does not bother me, it's the people who use it and in what reference they use it).  I told my DH I have a good mind to go talk to his mother but that wouldn't do any good, and if I did I wouldn't put it past him to torch our house or rob us when we were away.  His parents talk to him like nothing I've heard of before (except the low lifes across the street that freely use the "f" word talking to their kids).  But the kids parent's have called him a name (I won't use it if by some chance she happens to frequent this board - I have no idea what she does but you never know).  But when he asked why she called him that she stated "because you don't have a brain".  They are constantly yelling at him.  The other day he told his parents he wanted his room to remain completely dark and they said to him "like your heart".  Kind of creeped me out.  Anyway...we have been planning to move for quite some time, but this was the breaking point to speed up our search.  I believe he's probably just a bully and says things he doesn't mean when he knows that other people can't hear him, but anyone voicing they will kill someone is enough for me to "head to the hills" and to really search out what kind of neighbors in different area.  We also get a lot of kids playing the base on their car radios so loud the stuff inside our house vibrates.  Told my DH today where can we go live in peace and quiet without having to move to a 55+ park.  I'm sure every place has kids who are a terror, but I really feel like this is where I don't want to be.  I wrote before I wished they'd have a draft but I realized today what he needs is to be in a military school with a uniform and drill sergeants keeping an eye on him 24 hours a day teaching him respect.  Being in the Army and going through basic training myself really taught me respect for others and how to be an adult.  Anyway...just wanted to vent. 

Two stories:

First is lady who lives upstairs, is retired, likes to wake up with gin and set the sun with it. This woman HAS to win the award for the biggest busybody ever born. I've tried to be friendly (10 apartments on this side...I'm on the bottom level). If someone's car tags expired yesterday, she is asking management to have it hauled. If someone's dog looks like it's going to poop, she is going over to ask the owner if they plan to clean it up.  She walks around the parking lot to critique how clean people keep their cars.  Two other neighbors above me have banned her from talking to them because she is so intrusive, so she started fixating on me

My son moved out about 45 days ago and left his broken down car and guess what? The tag expired. Two weeks ago she accidentally told me she was after mgmt to  get it towed. I looked at her and asked her if she was trying to get my son's car towed. Oh, no, she didn't mean it like that. I couldn't help it.  I said, "you mean you didn't mean to say that to my face, right?" I told her keep her nose out of my business and I got the car towed within 3 days and blocked her phone number on my phone. She knocked on my door yesterday (my son was pulling up to come in to sign the title and I was getting ready for a doctor appointment). I thought it was my son when she knocked and I opened the door. She wanted to talk to me about my across-the-hall neighbor's garbage (see next story) that had been pulled apart by cats in the breezeway...I told her I didn't have time cuz of the appt and started to shut the door.  She put out her arm and pushed my door back open into my apartment, making me have to step backward. I was floored! I told her she didn't have the right to use her body to keep me from closing my own front door. I told her to move her arm ...now! She didn't drop her arm, but the pressure lessened and I was able to close the door.  I heard voices and my door opened by my son.  He had heard what was said and she was trying to get him to tell me something.  He just shook his head and said, "not my problem!" Arggh! I did stop at the office on the way out to let them know about the garbage and what happened with the neighbor. Other than just avoiding her as I have been doing (which I think is the best approach) is to file a complaint at the sheriff's office.  If something else happens within 12 months of the complaint, I could get a restraining order on her.

Story Two - even better - Across-the-hall trash lady who leaves out her plastic garbage bags 1 or 2 times a week. Since she started that, cats, insects and vermin have infested my home, so I call the office to ask them to place give her a reminder notice that leaving out trash is not allowed. I'm never ugly about it even though I have had to get a professional pest control service and I have caught one rat and one mouse since she started this.  I have never gotten along with this woman. My first interaction with her told me she has an abbrasive personality, so I just smile, say hi, quick chit chat, but nothing personal.  The first neighbor introduced us because new neighbor was taking her 3 yo son with her to work and it was causing her problems on the job...so first neighbor knocked on my door, introduced us and told her that since I stay home and had a 3 yo, I could keep HER kid too!   We exchanged phone numbers to "think about it" and I told her it wouldn't work as we worked different shifts (I thought that was a gracious passive-aggressive way to handle it). The longer she has lived here, the more the phrase comes to my mind.."you can take the girl out of the trailer park, but..."  So today I come home from picking up my kid from daycare to find a puppy out in the trash and huge boxes of used toys she hasn't gotten to the dumpster yet in the breezeway. The puppy comes right over to my 4 yo (who is thrilled) and starts peeing on her shoes   The neighbor's sister who moved in to babysit came out the door saying she dropped her phone in the tub, it won't work, can she use mine.  I tell her I'm using mine to work, so not now. I ask her if that is their dog.  Yes. I tell her that I think I just don't know if I can handle all the trash in the breezeway, plus a dog that relieves itself just outside my door, too. She denied the dog did that and as I was pointing out the puddles, there it was.  The cutest little pile of steaming brownies 2 inches from my door jam. Oh, HE didn't do it! yeah, right! But, sister said she would clean it up.  I told her I'd be glad to watch the dog while she did that. She got mad, but I didn't believe she was going to clean it up. When the neighbor got home, she called me and was screaming about how ugly I treated her sister! I told her if she couldn't talk calmly, conversation was over.  She couldn't, I hung up. She called back in same manner.  I told her don't call me again or I would report her for annoying phone calls and hung up.  Yep, 8 calls later she finally left a message on voice mail admitting it was her dog.

So here is my question - I already made a tape copy to possibly take to mgmt to see if she has paid her $500 pet deposit - do I do that?  I went online and filled an annoyance call record with the phone company (all the calls were on my caller ID). That's out of my hands. After she left the message, I heard her come out into the breezeway and start yelling at me through the door. I ignored her. She is one of those who has to WIN and I wouldn't be surprised if strange things started happening.  Do I file a complaint at the sherrif's for both these things (I'll be the one looking like a nut!), do I find a lawyer to get me out of my lease, do I install a hidden camera to feel a little more secure, or just be a hermit until my lease is up Feb 1?

Anybody have any suggestions? I hate this kind of stuff.  Why can't we all just get along?  Where is that poster who set the visiting neighbor's kid straight about the rules of her house so I can rent her out to handle my problem!!  OMG, I just looked out my peep hole and there is ANOTHER bag of garbage just now put out with yesterday's garbage!!! No Way!!!! 

was driving by and saw me outside when we first moved here.  She pulled in the driveway, got out of her car, went back in her car and pulled out a bag of carrots, walked over to me, and introduced herself as my new neighbor.  She of course brought the carrots for the critters and it was the nicest gesture.  She said she had them in her car for almost a week but she had no idea what our schedules were (I worked 3rd, husband worked first) and didn't want to bother us.

I'd leave maybe a little box of Milk Bones or some other fairly benign dog treat and a "welcome to the neighborhood" card with your name and maybe even phone number in case of any emergencies and let them know how much you like their little pooch.   Ambassador of good will kind of thing.  I can't imagine the bread did any harm but it's always best to check first.  Personally I wouldn't mention it though, just in case of some bizzaro coincidence with the dog's health status. 

Hope all goes well with your new nay-ba's!

a six-month tour of duty fighting to keep us all free!  He just got married before he left in November and everyone is doing little dances all over the place!!!   GOOD FOR YOU, John Michael.

I have a neighbor with a 6-year-old boy.  The little boy is an only child and lives an extremely structured lifestyle with some sort of activity scheduled every night, i.e. soccer, church group, Boy Scouts, etc.  The little boy gets very little unstructured time to play with the children in the neighborhood, but when he does he is constantly demanding the children play on his terms and tattles on the children constantly, even when they truly did nothing wrong. 

However, here’s the problem….some of the children in the children are older, ranging from 4^th  to 7^th in this particular group.  Whenever the little boy is around the older children are constantly being reprimanded by his mother to play with him and play with him “nicely,” as she puts it.  This particular group of boys (one, of course, being my son) try to include him as much as possible, but they do get annoyed with this tattling and his mother, so they usually take off down the road or something to skateboard, etc.  Now, the problem has become mine because evidently I get to hear every morning and every afternoon about something one of the children did.  She has gone as far as to reprimand me prior for not standing outside during playtime and not forcing my children to be involved in the church group.  In my defense, I am widowed with 2 children who are 8 and 10 and through the 10-year-old’s counselor (the counselor is not for behavior but for dealing with his father’s death and guy things, etc) I have been told that I am to allow them more freedom and not to be under foot all the time.  Nevertheless, the truth is that I am sick of being told how to parent and judged constantly.  I have spoken to my son on several occasions in private, but it has gotten to the point now that every single day there is something, in her eyes, that my son has said or done that offends her son.  Yesterday, it was my son said “that guy acts gay” and she gave me a huge lecture on this.  Well, I certainly did not teach him that and I know for a fact he truly does not even know the full meaning of this, but she just condemned me up and down for this.  I know that children learn a lot of things at school and have no true meaning of their content, but does she not think this same thing will happen to her at one point?  I am at the point where I think it would be best if she just did not allow her son to be around the kids at all if there is nothing she likes anyhow.  She is always making comments, etc. and I am just tired of being reprimanded for children being children.

 I feel like a total failure and just this second, as I am crying this and typing this, she called and left a message “I just wanted you to know that my son is Star Student of the Week and even though your son barely pays any attention to him at all, he still wants to bring a picture of him to show his classmates.  Isn’t he just the sweetest child you know?”  This is transcribed verbatim.  Please tell me how to handle this neighbor and make nice, because right now I am depressed and angry at the same time.  My son is a good boy, although he does do things I may not be particularly thrilled about, but he is a boy and trying to grow up.  He is not racist, he does snot discriminate, does not break the law.  He is trustworthy and respectful to adults and I get compliments all the time about what a good kid he is, so why is it that I feel terrible about failing him as a mother at this point?  I just do not want to constantly reprimand my son for saying something she thinks is inappropriate or mean, nor do I wish her to do that with my child.  Suggestions, please!!!!!!