and I agree with both poster's responses....s/m
Posted By: move if you have to w/nonpublished phone# on 2006-12-02
In Reply to: I agree with post below --sm - nn
Sorry this is happening to you and esp this time of year with all the multi-religious holiday festivities going on in this country all this month....truly hope it ALL gets resolved soon for you! 
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Have to agree with this poster
I'm no Bible thumping holy roller but I do know that if you TRULY understand what it means to be a Christian, you don't go in for the evil aspect of Halloween. I don't think what the pastor said and did is appropriate though. He sounds a little over the top to me.
I have to agree with the poster above
Your sister and BIL did not borrow the quad, simply agreed to bring it to their home because your husband was too tired to unload it. Sounds like the BIL was trying to be nice. Hubby was too tired to unload it, but expected BIL to do it himself at his house???
I agree 100% with the poster below - also...
You do not want to be his second choice. Either he is free from this other woman and available to date you in a proper manner or he is not. Him saying *things are not working out* is SO typical for someone who wants to play the field and still have the security of someone else. He has been with her 7 years, is not happy, and has not moved on??? You deserve so much better and do not need someone like him. Let sleeping dogs lie!!!
I agree with first poster
At least this is a decision she is making herself. You can't change the circumstances, but you can help her find the best facility possible in her circumstances.
I lived 500 miles away from my mother, and when she got sick with non-Hodgkin's, it was very hard because I couldn't be down there to help her as much as I wanted. My son was 12 at the time and I had to be here with him, although I could and did go down and stay with her a couple of weeks at a time (my son too when he was out of school). And I was with her for the last three weeks of her life.
I know this is very hard for you. Just be with her as often as you can, talk to her on the phone as often as you can, and help her find a good facility that will take care of her needs. She sounds like a very independent, sensible lady. She understands that you love her and want the best for her. Cherish the time that you have with her. 
I agree with the other poster, (sm)
probably something "dressier" than "regular" business but not black tie, somewhere in between. Other poster is probably correct about them saying that to hopefully avoid too much sparkle and low cut or short skirts with the women. LOL.
then I would agree with another poster..
you should probably find someone to talk to about it..with your husband.
Have to agree with the above poster
While my mom is only in her 60's right now, my dad has already passed and I have NO doubt that when the time comes to take care of my mom, I will get little to no help from my 4 siblings. I think often the burden falls to one child and it would be in your best interest to get power of attorney and just do what you need to do.
It's not worth fighting with your sister when she clearly doesn't want to contribute much. It will just cause you more stress and as a result, more stress on your dad.
When all is said and done, you will sleep well at night knowing you did all you could for your dad. Your sister will be the one who has to live with herself knowing that she didn't care enough to be there for him.
I agree with above poster....
This is being blown way out of proportion. This is normal dog behavior. Maybe you should keep your child in your own yard. It would be different if this dog went into your yard and then attacked her!
I agree with this poster. nm
h
I agree with the poster below
Just because he is your future son-in-law doesn't mean he owes you anything. It sounds to me like you want to cause problems between him and your daughter because of this when you say you think she should have talked to him. This is between you and him. You asked for help, he told you what he could offer, take it or leave it.
It sounds to me like he made the comment about not having things placed or set up because he expects that you would want that. I certainly don't know your relationship with him or your daughter and do believe there are always 2 sides to every story and feel like we didn't get the second side to this story.
I don't say any of this to make you feel bad in any way. Your situation reminds me of my own mother. Except that she will do whatever she can to get things resolved before asking either of her son-in-law's to help and they are more than willing to do anything for her...she just knows that they work full-time, have a family, and life is hectic. When she does ask something she asks them directly (not through the daughter) and asks for bare minimum - she usually gets much more than that on the son-in-law's own accord not because he is obligated.
I agree with the other poster.
Unless its a kid that you know has been in trouble before, I wouldn't assume anything. My son is not a teenager yet but he says things that he just says because he thinks someone else will think its funny or cool...not because he is doing it or agrees. I also have 3 older nephews, in and just beyond teenage years, and they do the same thing. Two are great kids, they say things but clearly do not participate. Being the aunt they tell a lot more with honesty than they do to the parents. The other...well is just irresponsible. I think he says a lot to keep up with people too but wouldn't put anything past him if peer pressure is involved. Just his personality and demeanor says a lot.
If you sit down with a teenager and talk to them as if they are "adult" you would be surprised some times at the things they will tell you in honesty.
Agree with this poster, you cannot let
this slide. Also, if he is posting pictures on the Internet, in certain parts of the country schools monitor this and they can and have taken action against the student. You need to be firm on this and definitely discuss it with his father. So what if your son is devastated by his father's reaction, in the long run it is the best for him.
Agree with poster below that
you need to get out of that situation, especially after reading what you son said. He is being damaged, and I have seen firsthand what that damage can do to you as an adult. Dysfunctional doesn't begin to describe it. Take action ASAP. I wish you the best of luck, I know it isn't easy.
I agree with another poster. . .
You are trying to solve a problem by yourself. But the problem involves two people. Your husband has to participate in the solution.
My husband and I have similarly hectic schedules. We're lucky if we eat 1 or 2 meals together in any given weak. He's a horrible cook, but he can heat things up, pour cereal in a bowl, and make sandwiches. I love to cook. I prepare meals ahead and freeze.
Your husband may want to continue his breakfast social time. That's fun, and everyone needs a little socializing outside of the house. But for other meals, both of you will have to communicate and coordinate. He needs to call home, and if you are going to be the main cook, you'll need to start planning and preparing for quick meals.
It takes a bit of practice and a lot of communication. But you BOTH need to agree to a plan.
I agree with the above poster
I would get some Omeprazole and start taking that also. I find Miralax works great. Lots of water also!
Definitely agree with above poster, too sm
NO PURSE.
Money and license in FRONT pants pocket. You very well may find yourself in such a crowd/push of people that a stranger could be right up against your back, so put nothing in your back pocket.
Staying with a group is very good advice.
Oh, and don't pet the police horses, they're working!
I agree with this poster, however - sm
the G-spot is quite elusive I think....though it does exist. I have only had that experience 3 x in 23 years, quite amazing actually and totally different from a regular manually stimulated orgasm. I remember on my 18th birthday friends gave me the books the Hite report, which is a sex survey basically from the male and female perspective. It was quite enlightening to me as I had only been sexually active for about 3 months at that point and new nothing about the clitoris or masturbation, etc. and had never had an orgasm at that point as the 2 guys I had been with were not very knowlegdgeable or didn't care that I didn't have an orgasm (or assumed I did). I did not even know what one was then. But definitely get educated about your body and what turns you on in the genitalia basically. Sorry to be so graphic but that is how your body works.
Agree with above poster.
In addition to hydration, your puppy is probably being given antibiotics and anti-emetics. They are probably also monitoring blood tests and body temperature. If you vet feels your dog needs to stay, I would listen. Ask them to explain their reasoning if it is not clear to you. I treated many parvo dogs and the ones that left early always came back in worse shape and ended up having longer hospital stays in the end (unfortunaly some of them didn't make it at all). Parvo is a very serious disease for a pup, and I would think twice before bringing the puppy back home.
Sounds like your puppy is doing well though if she is eating and holding it down. That is a very good sign. Hope she continues to do well.
Please...how ridiculous...I agree with the other poster!
I am so sick of this crap, everyone screaming RACIST if you even mention a race other than WHITE in ANY context. Perhaps it's you that is racist if you feel that way :)
Totally agree with this poster - sm
If he is maintaining his grades, not getting into trouble, give the kid a little slack. Let him grow up.
However, on the same note, I would also make it clear that when he does decide to take these trips to see the girlfriend, he is responsible for anything that could go wrong with the car. All a part of growing up too.
Hang in there mom. Take a deep breath and give him a little space.
I agree with this poster. For your own sake.
NM
Agree with poster above. DO NOT take $ out of 401K...sm
>> My H wants to take 15k out of his 401k and be done with it. He says we are still young and we can still make it up. >>
I was watching Suze Orman's show recently, and she had someone who wanted to do this. The woman was in her early 30s and wanted to take money out of her 401K to pay off $22,000 in cc debt, just to be rid of it.
Suze said NO, and here's why - taking money out of a 401K now, instead of at retirement, means you'll have to pay penalties (state and federal) plus taxes which will equal about 35%. So in order to end up with $22,000 (to pay off her cc debt), she would actually need to take out about $35,000 from the 401K! So it would cost her $13,000 to pay off that $22,000. Not worth it.
And if that isn't bad enough, look at what you lose by not having that $35,000 in your 401K for the next 30-40 years, earning money for you like it should be. At at average rate of return, that $35,000 would turn into around $353,000! So that's what it's *really* costing you. Tell your husband that and see if he still wants to do it. ;o)
Suze said we need to stop looking at our 401Ks like their our piggy banks/savings accounts. They're for us to live on in *retirement.*
I agree with this poster's mother - it is difficult
Things have changed a lot and obviously it is easier now than it was when I did it (dated someone from a different race)- but there are sometimes huge cultural differences, not only in different races but in same race from very different parts of the country. A lot of traditions that you find important - someone very culturally different (same for religion for that matter) may not. You have to be thick skinned and very committed. A good partner is hard to find.
I agree with the poster. Didn't care for it (sm)
My 6yo was bored with it too, and it just seemed too preachy. I get and appreciate the message they were sending, but the way they did it in parts seemed to be over kids' heads. It seemed more like a grown-up movie to me, and my daughter has not asked to watch it again.
I agree. From the poster below with opinion different than Wannie.
uio
I agree with this poster and so does Dave Ramsey. sm
Get your hands on anything of his and follow the recommendations. He has helped me greatly. As Reality Check says, and I agree, our economy is in dire straits and not having any financial worries will be worth the effort to get there.
Good luck to you and your wife.
I agree with poster below - maybe check thyroid. sm
A little over a year ago I had what I thought was a *severe* sore throat. Over the course of about a week, I also had a low-grade temp., body aches, headache, chills (but only off and off) then came night sweats, heart palpitations and tachycardia (142 bpm).
I thought I was coming down with the flu, or maybe had strep throat. The weird thing is that the symptoms would come and go, and were always much worse at night. I'd feel horrible at night, then wake up feeling pretty much back to normal.
I finally got tired of it and went to urgent care, and when they saw how high my heart rate was, they did an EKG and told me to go immediately to the ER. At the ER, they gave me fluids, but my heart rate didn't come down. (They asked me if I was anxious. Nope. Calm as could be, and felt pretty good right then, actually.) They drew blood, gave me fluids, etc. and found I was hyperthyroid. I was in the hospital from Sun. afternoon until Tue. afternoon (mostly so they could monitor my heart to make sure it was okay, do more tests, and give me some pain relief for the throat pain).
What I had is called subacute granulomatous thyroiditis. (Maybe Google it and see if the symptoms sound like how you're feeling?) They *think* it's caused by a virus (it's not an immune system thyroid disorder). So basically it runs its course, they treat the symptoms, you're fine. (Though a small % of people may be left hypothyroid and need to go on thyroid replacement.)
I had follow up with an endocrinologist, and he said he was really surprised the docs in the ER diagnosed me so quickly. I guess most don't. If they hadn't thought to check my thyroid levels, I don't know what would have happened!
Now the runny nose symptom you have doesn't fit with this, so maybe it's not your thyroid, but it's easy enough for them to check your thyroid levels and see. They sent me home with Vicodin for the pain, and I needed it! Whatever it is, I hope you get relief for your throat pain soon. I'm sitting here remembering how much it hurt, so you have my sympathies. :o)
I read all the comments and I agree with the poster who wrote
'One has to teach people how to treat you' and one has to tell people what is imoportant to oneself.
It is inexcusable not to call or meet one's mother for mother's day and Christmas, etc.....
I am "juvenile post" poster. "Looney" poster is some
x
not poster you responded to but that poster has
everyone with different opinions is allowed to post here and poster said they were making a contribution in the name of pro-peace....give that poster a break please....
Thanks for both responses!! sm
And I think one of you emailed me with the explanation (thank you for that email), and I so appreciated both posts too. Thanks again! Happy New Year too!!
Thanks for the responses...
Thank you all for your responses. I have to say that I'm a little shocked by some of the comments, but I I didn't post everything.
I didn't actually prevent my child from talking to her. My daughter answered and handed it to my son, and then he proceeded to answer all of her questions about where we were going and what we were doing and what I got him for his birthday.
I didn't put them in the middle or tell them how I felt about it. I felt like she overstepped her boundaries, but I decided to post my feelings about it on a public message board rather than say anything in front on them. I decided I would get some unbiased opinions here before I said anything to anyone. The last thing I want is to put them in the middle or hurt them.
I've decided that I'm going to e-mail my ex and ask him not to give my phone number to other people without my permission and leave it at that.
I do feel that I haven't been a vindictive or jealous ex spouse. #1 entered the picture right as we were separating, and my kids were really, really angry about it. My kids saw us as still married and just fighting, so they did not want anything to do with #1. In fact, they planned this Parent Trap type sabatoge. I caught them packing worms and slugs in a jar, Ex-Lax, and bubble bath that they were planning to put in her shampoo bottle. I sat them down and told them that they were under no circumstances to sabatoge #1. I told them that they were to treat her with respect even if they didn't like her, just as they would treat a teacher that they didn't like. I also told them that she was not the cause of our divorce, and that they didn't have to hate her. She was around for a while, and the last few times the kids came back saying, "She says all the same stuff to dad that you do, but she screams it at him." Then she disappeared. Despite the fact that they didn't like her, they still had a hard time with her disappearing without a formal goodbye.
#2 and #3 were just one-weekend things. My daughter was actually devastated because #2 had a daughter that was her age. She was excited to go back and play with the daughter and was already telling people that she was going to have this really cool step-sister, but by the next visit he was already on to #3.
There were 2 more that he dated that I was aware of, but neither wanted to meet the kids, so the kids don't know about them.
Now we are on to #4. I'm upset that his family has stopped calling and sending cards and gifts, and #4 seems to be the replacement. The second time they met her, he flew the kids to her house for Christmas, and there was no contact whatsoever with his family, although they sent gift cards to my home for the kids. Now my son's birthday came, and his family ignored it, but girlfriend is calling.
My kids always describe going to dad's house like getting on a roller coaster, and coming home as getting off the ride. So, when she called, I guess I felt like she was encroaching upon my kids' drama-free zone.
Wow! Thanks for all the responses!
Very helpful. I have ordered the BioSpot since it seems to have the same ingredients as Frontline and is much less expensive. That's interesting about Advantage losing its effectiveness. Years ago, it worked great on my cats.
Thanks for the responses!...
But I still think I want to do it. I actually did this when I was 12 from a neighborhood mom and it took a lot of the bigness out of my hair. I usually cut my own hair but have wanted to do this for so long. It's past my shoulders and want to cut it to my necklace line with a style I saw on a hair site. I researched this at hairboutique.com and found tons of information on straightening so feel a little more informed. Thanks for responding, though! I was beginning to think everyone on the board had gorgeous straight hair! :-) I'll let you know how it goes!
Thanks!
Thanks for all the responses.
I'm soon headed to the fragrance counter to do some sniffing!
thanks for your responses,
it brought up some good points . . .
I want to thank you all for your responses (sm)
I really appreciate you all for coming to my aid. I just finished a 13 hour day and am going to walk away from this machine until 8:00 a.m. and try not to think about work. I actually managed to get a good amount of sleep last night and I did feel somewhat better today. I can still feel it in the background but it is manageable. Like most of us, I know I work too much and I am trying to find a way to cut down. Thank you all again. I truly appreciate all your responses.
Thanks everyone for your responses (sm)
It was the fact that he told me this at night, while his sister was sleeping, not something he said to her in the heat of anger, that worried me. He tends to be a perfectionist and have a very negative attitude and is very critical of himself and everyone else. It is for his benefit as well as his sister's that I need to figure out what to do about it. His friends are dwindling because of his negativity, while hers are soaring. Yet, it hurts her too, because she has to be constantly bombarded with criticism on a daily basis. I stay on top of him about it, but every day it's the same. It's so confusing because they are both raised by the same parents in the same household and I really try to be fair and give both of them equal time, etc. I will say that his sister is more demanding and he probably does crave more of my time. Their dad works so much they never even ask any more if he is coming home for dinner or not - if he shows up fine, if not, fine, nobody even asks. My daughter has friends over a lot and my son doesn't have as many over, but part of that is because he is such a perfectionist that many children he doesn't like. I will suggest one child after another to invite to come play and he will say "no, I don't like him". We are down to about two that he likes and if they aren't available, he just sulks and pouts. I don't know how I am going to get the message across to him. I have tried everything I can think of. That's why I am considering a counsellor for him.
I appreciate all of your responses
but it seems a lot are assuming that the story came from a child. I was more looking for responses based on the assumption that the scenario described is fact . . . assuming the teacher has already "confessed" and provided an unsatisfactory (to us) explanation.
Thanks again for all replies!
Thank you for you responses. Sorry it said nm
instead of my name. I am going to talk to some of his friends I think. One of our nieces is one of his closet friends. I don't want to make them feel like they are betraying him in anyway, but I had posted on here just a few weeks ago about one of his classmates died from playing the "choking game" and I know how it affected so many of his friends. I think they will be open with me. BTW, he says that what was on his page he copied and pasted from another site. Still no explaination. I also just talked to my "other" mother and she really thinks a he needs a counselor. She gave me the name of a very good one that is a Christian I will call as soon as I post this. She agrees that obviously he isn't going to talk to us so he needs to have that privacy with someone else.
I almost hate to ask this, but does anyone feel like there is a connection between depression and accutane? He just finished taking 6 months of it at the end of Feb. I don't know how long the post was on his site. It could have been there between a couple of days or a couple of weeks.
Thanks for the responses to
I'm so sorry for your situations and you have helped me tremendously to put my situation into perspective. It is not nearly as bad as I had first taken, compared to your stories, but none the less still hurtful/inappropriate and if things continue to escalate (which seems to be the trend over the past several years) I feel more confident to stand up for myself and the future of my family. For now, I think distance is the key..if I can pull it off. Thanks for sharing everyone!
THANK YOU for all of your responses.sm
I will definitely be talking to her today about my feelings of having my daughter on the 4 wheeler and how dangerous it can be. I know she would never intentionally hurt my daughter, but it's just not a good idea to have her on one at such a young age. I will have to choose my words very carefully with her, but I think I will be able to get my point across. I would hate to keep her from spending time with my daughter, but if she continues to put her in danger, then I guess I will have to be there at all times. Thank you all for giving me the confidence I will need to do this! :)
Thanks for the responses!
nm
TY everyone for your responses.
Since we'll all be doing this again in a few weeks for Xmas - I now know what to do !
Thanks for all the responses! sm
They are not financially strapped, just too lazy to cook a big meal. I love the idea of telling them I am having another dinner the next night and cannot spare any leftovers, but they are welcome to take home the remnants of the 2 pies they brought over.  Love it! This will be a new holiday tradition at my house! 
thank you everyone for responses.
looks like there is really not that much in PO. I am currently in Nebraska. No snow yet, but super super super cold. Wish I were in Mississippi or Washington!!!
Thanks for all the responses!
I feel normal! Yay!!! Most of the time I do wear nice PJs. My husband doesn't care what my "work clothes" look like. Yes we have that joke too. lol He actually says he loves to come home and see me in my PJs. I do take a shower every day after my 4 hour morning shift but I don't wear makeup or do my hair. Maybe blow-dry when its cold but my hair is pretty easy anyway so I never do much with it unless we have a formal event to go to. If I know I will be running to the store or something I get dressed and put makeup on but change back to PJs asap. It's just so much more comfortable.
Thank you for your responses
for those of you who replied. I really hope this mother doesn't come to regret her actions.
Thanks for the sweet responses!
Off to get tights and slippers, I guess:-)
Thank you all for your responses. I did Google this sm
and didn't find too much. I did find some support on holistic sites, though, about Hartz products and other people saying their dogs have become sick on other once-a-month flea meds. It might be too early for people to make the connection.
Thank you all for your responses. Healthy pets for all!
My response to your responses, etc.
First of all I am glad so many of you used this board to share your feelings on this issue of hating cats. I have read each one of your posts a few times over and agree wholeheartedly. I have also felt that this issue goes a lot deeper than not liking something with 4 legs and a tail that meows. That is why I brought it up. It is frustrating to say the least and something I could never understand.
Some of the people I have come in contact with who make these remarks will also out of the other side of his or her mouth proudly state how they love animals, just not cats. The last time I checked a cat was an animal. I can certainly understand having favorites, we all do. What I don't understand is selective animal loving.
One of you posted that you feel these people are missing something. That really hit home with me and actually brought me to tears. I have missed so much in my life having no children, etc. I used to get angry over circumstances I could not control and actually felt I was being punished in some way. All around me are people with what seems to me to be everything. One thing God made sure I had all my life is the ability to love and receive it 100 times over from animals. It has literally been life saving for me. There is a history of abuse in my past, and this is one love I am not afraid of.
The post that spoke of cats being looked at as evil, the black cat at Halloween hit home, too. That post opened my eyes to a lot of things. My friend I spoke of who went shopping with me and shouted all day long about hating cats said that her mother doesn't like them either. It really does seem to be an attitude that in many cases has been passed down to the next generation. My mother, 90 years of age now, has always and will always have a spot in her heart for cats. She loves them dearly, but because she has dogs who don't tolerate cats she does not adopt cats. My grandmother as well loved them.
I guess when I see a cat I see an animal with elegance and beauty, an individual little soul that walks and cannot be heard or peeks between the railing of my niece's stairway and then very gingerly comes downstairs to sit by the front door. No one can expect everyone to love them, but the one post that said hate is such a strong word says it all. One post said how cats kill birds, etc. I don't like that either, but it is instinct. My friend had an English Springer Spaniel some years ago and called me crying, saying her dog was a MURDERER! She said she looked out the kitchen window and saw Daisy shaking a little rabbit. The rabbit died and Daisy went on her way. It is animal instinct, and nature can be very cruel sometimes. My mom sat at the living room window 4 years ago and saw a snake come over the roof to get at a bird nest we had been watching. We were anxiously awaiting the flight of the babies. It never happened.
Some don't like cats rubbing up against their legs, etc. I guess I could never hate anyone or anything that was just expressing love to me. I value what some others hate, and that's part of life too. I am not preaching, just letting some feelings out and learning a lot at the same time.
In my local shelter just a few miles from my apartment by last count about 5 weeks ago there were 500 cats waiting for adoption, and yet down the road from where my mother used to live year after year appears a sign in the front yard a few times a year . . Free Kittens. Like me, so many live in apartments, etc. that do not even allow pets.
Thanks again for letting me open up and let it out. It has helped, and hearing your comments has helped to understand a little better. I have a few little stickers on my dashboard that says it all. It is from the ASPCA. It reads very simply
We Are Their Voice.
God bless you and God bless all animals.
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