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a question of amount of effort

Posted By: heart and soul on 2009-06-01
In Reply to: Here's another one. - Oh boy...

If I had to do it over again, yes.

But I am having a hard time seeing where the amount of sacrifices I made is paying off in these "teenage years."

I think the payoff for being a good enough parent just might be raising "good enough" kids who become "good enough" parents, so you don't end up raising your grandkids....(and end up with a second chance to get it right).



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Re the amount of effort
OMG - I had two teenagers who were 19 months apart.  Yes, it was hard and sometimes I just had to turn my head and pretend that was not my child.  The effort and sacrifices are great, especially at prom time and when they start driving.  I am glad I had mine young.  I think it helped me get through it.  I do believe that kids/teenagers are going to get in trouble for something.  That's their job and it is a way of life.  I just tried to put myself in their place when I was that age (I did much worse things actually).  That is also another reason why they could not get by with much.  I had done it all and knew what to expect.  Even so, no matter what my kids ever did and whether I trusted them or not, I always let them know and told them I loved them more than anything all the time (even if they had hurt me).  I gave them my all and taught them to appreciate it.  I put them through college and they put themselves through grad school.  I was not sure the youngest would even graduate high school.  They always knew I loved them with all my heart and I believe most of the time that pays off.  One day all that effort and sacrifice will be worth it.
So I probably need to make even more effort to see my own (sm)
I think my MIL is already getting plenty of attention. Now that I think about it, it's mine who is getting shafted.
What are you talking about? Effort? Just because he doesn't
live here with me by no means says I didn't make the effort. When you divorce, the kids either go with the dad, the mom, or in our case, it was both. We are extremely close and he wants to live with us.

I really regret this post now. I certainly did not need people like you responding to a very delicate situation and one that is very close to my heart. You sound really evil.
Most rewarding parts require most effort.
x
i can't get this list to print out for nothin...last ditch effort.


























































































































































































































































































































































































































































  Name and (party)1 Term State of
birth 		Born Died Religion2 Age at
inaug. 		Age at
death
1. Washington (F)3 1789–1797   Va. 2/22/1732 12/14/1799 Episcopalian 57 67
2. J. Adams (F) 1797–1801 Mass. 10/30/1735 7/4/1826 Unitarian 61 90
3. Jefferson (DR) 1801–1809 Va. 4/13/1743 7/4/1826 Deist 57 83
4. Madison (DR) 1809–1817 Va. 3/16/1751 6/28/1836 Episcopalian 57 85
5. Monroe (DR) 1817–1825 Va. 4/28/1758 7/4/1831 Episcopalian 58 73
6. J. Q. Adams (DR) 1825–1829 Mass. 7/11/1767 2/23/1848 Unitarian 57 80
7. Jackson (D) 1829–1837 S.C. 3/15/1767 6/8/1845 Presbyterian 61 78
8. Van Buren (D) 1837–1841 N.Y. 12/5/1782 7/24/1862 Reformed Dutch 54 79
9. W. H. Harrison (W)4 1841 Va. 2/9/1773 4/4/1841 Episcopalian 68 68
10. Tyler (W) 1841–1845 Va. 3/29/1790 1/18/1862 Episcopalian 51 71
11. Polk (D) 1845–1849 N.C. 11/2/1795 6/15/1849 Methodist 49 53
12. Taylor (W)4 1849–1850 Va. 11/24/1784 7/9/1850 Episcopalian 64 65
13. Fillmore (W) 1850–1853 N.Y. 1/7/1800 3/8/1874 Unitarian 50 74
14. Pierce (D) 1853–1857 N.H. 11/23/1804 10/8/1869 Episcopalian 48 64
15. Buchanan (D) 1857–1861 Pa. 4/23/1791 6/1/1868 Presbyterian 65 77
16. Lincoln (R)5 1861–1865 Ky. 2/12/1809 4/15/1865 Liberal 52 56
17. A. Johnson (U)6 1865–1869 N.C. 12/29/1808 7/31/1875 (7) 56 66
18. Grant (R) 1869–1877 Ohio 4/27/1822 7/23/1885 Methodist 46 63
19. Hayes (R) 1877–1881 Ohio 10/4/1822 1/17/1893 Methodist 54 70
20. Garfield (R)5 1881 Ohio 11/19/1831 9/19/1881 Disciples of Christ 49 49
21. Arthur (R) 1881–1885 Vt. 10/5/1829 11/18/1886 Episcopalian 50 56
22. Cleveland (D) 1885–1889 N.J. 3/18/1837 6/24/1908 Presbyterian 47 71
23. B. Harrison (R) 1889–1893 Ohio 8/20/1833 3/13/1901 Presbyterian 55 67
24. Cleveland (D)8 1893–1897 N.J. 3/18/1837 6/24/1908 Presbyterian 55 71
25. McKinley (R)5 1897–1901 Ohio 1/29/1843 9/14/1901 Methodist 54 58
26. T. Roosevelt (R) 1901–1909 N.Y. 10/27/1858 1/6/1919 Reformed Dutch 42 60
27. Taft (R) 1909–1913 Ohio 9/15/1857 3/8/1930 Unitarian 51 72
28. Wilson (D) 1913–1921 Va. 12/28/1856 2/3/1924 Presbyterian 56 67
29. Harding (R)4 1921–1923 Ohio 11/2/1865 8/2/1923 Baptist 55 57
30. Coolidge (R) 1923–1929 Vt. 7/4/1872 1/5/1933 Congregationalist 51 60
31. Hoover (R) 1929–1933 Iowa 8/10/1874 10/20/1964 Quaker 54 90
32. F. D. Roosevelt (D)4 1933–1945 N.Y. 1/30/1882 4/12/1945 Episcopalian 51 63
33. Truman (D) 1945–1953 Mo. 5/8/1884 12/26/1972 Baptist 60 88
34. Eisenhower (R) 1953–1961 Tex. 10/14/1890 3/28/1969 Presbyterian 62 78
35. Kennedy (D)5 1961–1963 Mass. 5/29/1917 11/22/1963 Roman Catholic 43 46
36. L. B. Johnson (D) 1963–1969 Tex. 8/27/1908 1/22/1973 Disciples of Christ 55 64
37. Nixon (R)9 1969–1974 Calif. 1/9/1913 4/22/1994 Quaker 56 81
38. Ford (R) 1974–1977 Neb. 7/14/1913 12/26/2006 Episcopalian 61 —
39. Carter (D) 1977–1981 Ga. 10/1/1924 — Southern Baptist 52 —
40. Reagan (R) 1981–1989 Ill. 2/6/1911 6/5/2004 Disciples of Christ 69 93
41. G.H.W. Bush (R) 1989–1993 Mass. 6/12/1924 — Episcopalian 64 —
42. Clinton (D) 1993–2001 Ark. 8/19/1946 — Baptist 46 —
43. G. W. Bush (R) 2001– Conn. 7/6/46 — Methodist 54 —
How old is your child/children and when did you decide he wasn't worth the effort? nm
!
we can make a quiet knowledge group effort to eliminate him
nm
I made concious effort to stop yelling & pointed that
x
For that small amount, can't you take
xx
Such a minute amount but what I was
saying anyone who has a huge amount on their card really cannot stand to take a chance with not paying on time- I am sure would not have a problem having it written off- they love me because 2nd time I have paid off totally and always on time (not this small amount though) and the last time over 10 thou paid off. I will probably call them anyway.
Would never give this amount sm
withot consulting my spouse. I think it's kind of sneaky on his part, that's a large amount to keep from your wife. I would be fuming and think you have a right to be flaming mad. I don't know about the cheating aspect, she probably found an ear to bend and drives him nuts but he won't admit it. She found herself a Santa and he's probably sorry he did it. See how it goes. Next time he has an appointment, if it were me, I'd hang around the parking lot, but that's me, I'm not sure it's something you would want to do. I certainly would!
Yes. The formula is you say, "You have X amount for
When she runs out, she does without until her budget allows more entertainment money.

It isn't about the money, though. Her issue is with learning priorities for needs versus wants.

You've waited a little late if she's 22. My boys budgeted their money as mid teens and as young men do great.

Kids usually learn spending habits from parents - by example or by allowance.
Apparently they are setting a certain amount you can use and if you go beyond that they can
either disconnect you for a year or charge you for the extra that you use.  This is Comcast.  I expect all the internet companies will follow suit so many are saying the internet as we know it is now going to change and become more expensive to use and we will only be allowed a base amount of usage for our flat fee we pay and beyond that we may have to pay extra for however much more we use in increments.  Time will tell what happens I guess.  What can you do. 
Two months is quite a short amount of time....
You need to take your time and keep YOUR options open! You may meet Mr. Right while you're seeing this guy. In two months, you probably don't even know his favorite color yet. Don't rush these things. If he is the one, he will figure it out and not want to see anyone else. Good luck! I hope this works out for you.
Maybe good money for the amount of hours sm
but no enough for what actucally goes into the job.
Smaller total amount of more feedings?
Have you tried feeding him more than 2-3 times a day and just putting a smaller overall amount in the dish? He might think he's actually getting more.
Do you have dirty dishes or excess amount
of trash that needs to be taken out?
We did lose some money, but not a huge amount
We have three different ones that we've been keeping an eye on.
When amount of this for social security people and when?
Do you have a link for this info, pls.
Try Alton Brown's suggestion for the amount of

grounds to use.  As he points out, you can always dilute.  Here is the article:


http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/alton-brown/true-brew-recipe/index.html

a small amount of chocolate is 2-3 squares, not more.
Portions sizes are always very small, see below...

The Look of Normal Portion Sizes

1 oz. meat: size of a matchbox
3 oz. meat: size of a deck of cards or bar of soap—the recommended portion for a meal
8 oz. meat: size of a thin paperback book
3 oz. fish: size of a checkbook
1 oz. cheese: size of 4 dice
Medium potato: size of a computer mouse
2 Tbs. peanut butter: size of a ping pong ball
1/2 cup pasta: size of a tennis ball
Average bagel: size of a hockey puck.
a small amount of chocolate is 2-3 squares, not more.
Portions sizes are always very small, see below...

The Look of Normal Portion Sizes

1 oz. meat: size of a matchbox
3 oz. meat: size of a deck of cards or bar of soap—the recommended portion for a meal
8 oz. meat: size of a thin paperback book
3 oz. fish: size of a checkbook
1 oz. cheese: size of 4 dice
Medium potato: size of a computer mouse
2 Tbs. peanut butter: size of a ping pong ball
1/2 cup pasta: size of a tennis ball
Average bagel: size of a hockey puck.
a small amount of chocolate is 2-3 squares, not more.
Portions sizes are always very small, see below...

The Look of Normal Portion Sizes

1 oz. meat: size of a matchbox
3 oz. meat: size of a deck of cards or bar of soap—the recommended portion for a meal
8 oz. meat: size of a thin paperback book
3 oz. fish: size of a checkbook
1 oz. cheese: size of 4 dice
Medium potato: size of a computer mouse
2 Tbs. peanut butter: size of a ping pong ball
1/2 cup pasta: size of a tennis ball
Average bagel: size of a hockey puck.
great post! - only a difference in amount of melanin

the only difference I see is the amount of melanin in the skin........BEST of luck to you - Enjoy it while you feel it!!! 


It's ALL good!!   

We didn't even spend half that amount on each of our kids.
Of course, our kids told us about their spoiled rotten friends who all got electric guitars, multiple gaming systems, flat panel TVs for their bedrooms, cell phones, mp3 players, etc. Then the little boy from across the street came over and told me what he got for Christmas, which wasn't much at all. I felt so bad for the little guy. If I had known they didn't have much, I would have bought for his family instead of my 25+ family and friends who don't even need anything. I refuse to buy into it all for my own kids. If they want all the electronics, they can work and save up for it, and then only with my permission. No unlimited Internet, no texting, no M, R or T rated movies and games. I just don't believe children need all that junk. DH and I grew up just fine without it.
i know it is wearing on you but the recommend amount of timeout is 1 minute for each year of age.
nm
Larege amount of horses at packing plants/feed lots
coincidentally happen to be TBs.  They are a huge throw-away market.  Once they are done racing, unless they are one of the incredibly lucky few to be adopted out to knowledgable homes for other careers or are of breeding quality, they usually don't wind up in too good of a place afterwards.   I'm a nobody, and I've had 3 of these throw-aways land in my lap.  Yes, there are some responsible owners/breeders who ensure these animals are taken care of for the rest of their days, racing career or not, then there are an awful lot of others who see them as the cash crops they are and nothing more. 
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