Your son has ADHD, probably combined type along with opposition defiant disorder in a nutshell...sm
Posted By: One In The Same on 2008-08-26
In Reply to: He's fighting again today. - at the end of my rope
Been there for 14 years. Tantrums, fighting constantly with younger brother and sister to the point of injury, i.e. kicking, punching, slapping, throwing hammers, knifes, hard soled shoes, scissors, you name it. He is wonderful outside of the house. He is considered a very nice boy who is very well mannered and a hard worker (as he likes to do yardwork. That part of it is the ADHD at work). I knew something was wrong when he was about 1 1/2 years old and his sister came along and he started hitting her right away. Everyone from teachers to counselors told me it was all my fault and that my son had found a great way of manipulating me. That is...until the fourth grade when two weeks after school started a miraculous thing happened. His teacher called me in to say something was terribly wrong and that she suspected ADHD. I got the referral for testing with a pediatric neurologist and he was diagnosed with ADHD combined type (the hyperactive part), oppositional defiant disorder, and a learning disability. It has been a tortuous 14 years, I can tell you that. I have four more years to go and although I love my son more than words can say, at the age of 18 HE IS OUT THE DOOR!!!
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- He's fighting again today. - at the end of my rope
- Your son has ADHD, probably combined type along with opposition defiant disorder in a nutshell...sm - One In The Same
- Hmmm.... - he's still your son at 18...sm
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In a nutshell...if dad or mom want to help...
pay for college, let them. If they choose not too, who cares? My DH doesn't pay for anything for my grown kids, just as he doesn't pay for anything for his anymore. We don't have kids at home, have never had any at home in our entire 8 year marriage. He did his part and paid his child support until his second daughter turned 21. Now it's over and done with, a big relief, and an extra $1000 a month. As I said earlier, college is a privilege, not a right. If his girls couldn't save a cent for college but had money for new cars, Ipods, cell phones, spring break trips, etc, that's not his fault! Their mother supposedly taught them how to take care of themselves....in other words, find a man to take care of you!
or drugs combined w/alcohol
/
I work, our incomes not combined
I pay the smaller bills, he pays the larger bills. He never asks what I owe or do not owe. On big bills like car insurance, house insurance, property taxes, we just pay 1/2 each. He knows he makes more than me and that is about all. Married for 6+ years, never combined incomes.
I can tell you they are defiant at that
age. If I were to tell my daughter to make her bed or clean up the house, she argued. Then when I changed my tune and said be a slob if you want and acted like I didn't care and went about my business, she would make her bed and clean up around the house. They really test you at that age. Now that I look back though, I realize there was never a dull moment and I miss those days.
You have to keep thinking "unconditional love" to get you through the rough times with your kids.
LOL - sounds like medical transcription in nutshell! nm
hehe
Defiant 2nd grader too
Wow! Is it the time of year or something? The last few months, my little boy has been absolutely defiant. He is fine in school, except when he goes to reading group (he does not like the teacher), he has tried to come home by having the clinic check his temperature. This went on for days until they caught on that he did not like the class. So he went to the guidance counselor and they are not allowing him to come to the clinic around reading group. (Boy who cried wolf.)
Now, at home he is angry all the time, complaining all of the time, rude to his stepdad, mean to me and his dad and my husband believe I have to spank. I have never spanked in my life and I don't even know how to approach that...Just today I was thinking there was something wrong with him, oppositional defiant disorder or some other diagnosis (see that's the MT in me), but reading here, maybe it is a phase (hopefully). Still I too am looking for a solution. His stepdad took his TV out of his room because my boy would not take a shower for days and he lied that he did. I was asleep because I work third shift at the time. But taking the TV away worked he took the shower. Then, I hear this morning when they were at the store he picked a glass beer bottle off the curb and just smashed it. I asked him why he did this and he was trying to think up some reason but he could not come up with anything. This worries me. The thing is it is nice you guys are talking about this right now because it is exactly what is going on in our house this very day! Any and all suggestions would be welcome. Sorry for the long post. :)
Open for suggestions on dealing with a defiant child...sm
Our 3rd grader has been really giving us a hard time this school year with not behaving at home and at school. Some of the defiance is things she's picking up from other kids at school, i.e. talking back, but she's getting into trouble at school more often for not following instructions. So far talking to her, giving her restrictions and setting goals isn't helping turn this around.
So.... for you parents who have dealt with this, what things did you try to get your kid to "get it" on how to behave appropriately?
I'm sorry, but the kids already know about ADHD -
ADHD has almost become the "norm" in schools now, and the teacher announcing that did not tell them anything they did not already know. When my son entered first grade, the first day the teacher shook her pockets of her jacket at me, you could hear pill bottles rattling, and asked where his medication was. He was not on medication, but it seemed as if the whole rest of the class was.
I have 3 nieces and nephews who are on some form of medication for ADHD and also a stepdaughter who is on the highest dose of everything they can possibly give her. They are neither embarrassed by it, nor picked on about it. It is just as I said normal.
Do you have him on medication? If it is not controlling his behaviors, maybe you need to talk to his physician and either up his dosage or change his medicine if it is not working.
My son has ADHD and is 18 years old............. sm
It does get better, I promise, with a lot of hard work and understanding into his condition. I did have my son on medications for a while just so that he could sit still long enough at a time to get some kind of education. Through behavior training and much repeating of instructions, etc., he did learn eventually to control most of his hyperactive times and was better able to concentrate on the task at hand. Trust me, I know how monotonous it gets repeating things over and over again in order to get your child to do something, but this is all part of the behavior training. It is necessary to create new pathways in his brain that will better respond to the instructions you give him. My heart goes out to you because I have BTDT and have the T-shirt in every color.
Here is something that I found on the internet many years ago and printed out and hung in my kitchen to serve as a reminder to me that my child needed my special care and attention and it helped me tremendously. I hope it will help you as well.
"HELP ME TO FOCUS"
Please teach me through my sense of "touch". I need "hands-on" and body movement.
"I need to know what comes next." Please give me a structured environment
where there is a dependable routine. Give me an advanced warning if there will be changes.
"Wait for me, I'm still thinking." Please allow me to go at my own pace. If I rush, I get confused and upset.
"I'm stuck! I can't do it!"
Please offer me options for problem-solving. I need to know the detours when the road is blocked.
"is it right? I need to know NOW!" Please give me rich and immediate feedback on how I'm doing.
"I didn't know I WASN'T in my seat!" Please remind me to stop, think and act.
"Am I almost done now?"
Please give me short work periods with short-term goals.
"What?" Please don't say "I already told you that."
Tell me again in different words. Give me a signal. Draw me a symbol.
"I know, It's ALL wrong,isn't it?" Please give me praise for partial success. Reward me for self-improvement, not just for perfection.
"But why do I always get yelled at?" Please catch me doing something right and praise me for my specific positive behaviour. Remind me (and yourself) about my good points, when I'm having a bad day.
"I may be hard to live with, and have ADHD, but I still have feelings
and would have never chosen to hehave like I do sometimes."
God bless you in your journey to help your child.
has he been tested for ADHD/ADD/autism?
x
Those are great for any child not just those with ADHD sm
I disagree with the poster above about trying to turn them into men. My son is almost 12. He is a child, not a man. He needs stronger guidance but he doesn't need me to make him suddenly grow up. I really like the list you gave. Good reminders! Thanks
Better those than liar, cheater, retard or ADHD.
Those are just a few of the choice names that teachers have called my kids in the past. And my kids are all well-behaved honor roll students. I'm not stupid, I know they're capable of misbehavior. However, I have one kid who wants to quit band after five years because the teacher called him a retard. Now all the kids in the class call him retard, too. It's become his nickname. He's to the point of wanting to hit people who call him that. Frankly, I hope he does. I got nowhere calling the school on it. Since when did it become acceptable for teachers to call kids "retard?" Even if it was a joke, it's gone way too far. What do I have to do, home school or put him in private school? Now he's being harassed.
I think teachers use honey or sweetie because they can't remember all the kids' names.
Son's teacher tells his classmates he has ADHD...
My 12yo has ADHD diagnosed since he was 5. He is now in the 6th grade and is having an extremely difficult time with his peers. He is being picked on terribly, excluded from groups, bullied and harassed, always when the teacher is out of sight or has her back turned. She knows it is happening but doesn't always see it because they're sneaky. Last Friday was a worse than usual day for my son and the teacher actually witnessed some of the students being rude and mean to him. My son left the room to use the bathroom and while he was away the teacher announced to the whole class that he has ADHD and to stop picking on him. I know this is a fact because I asked several of the kids and they confirmed it. The teacher called me at home tonight to explain what happened and why she said it. She said she was so angry at the kids for the way they were treating my son and in a state of anger (the kind when you can't even think of words to express your emotions) she told them he had ADHD and his annoyances and behaviors are sometimes out of his control so stop picking on him. She basically read them the riot act. I realize she was trying to help and defend my son but even she admits maybe she made things worse. My son told me today that somebody called him "sped" for special education. I hurt so much for what he is going through and don't know what to do. Isn't ADHD protected under privacy and confidentiality laws? Did she violate my son't privacy or am I making a big deal out of it. I am having a meeting with the teacher on Wednesday and need some advice on what to do next.
Type 1 requires insulin, type 2 does not - sm
that is the basic difference. Type 2 can be controlled by diet changes and/or medication (pills). My MIL has type 2 which runs in her family, no one is obese either. She controls it with diet and medication. Your dermatologist I think is wrong. Doesn't your husband know which type he has?
I wish I had an eating disorder
for one think it would be pretty cool. I just want to get more attention from my man, friends and family members who don't pay enough attention. When I pick up the mags I see all the thin models like Nicole Ritchie and Ms. Hilton. They are stars for being super thin. I know I can't reach that fame but if I look thin I know I will have more options. I know some of you won't agree with me but that is the way society is going. Get thin or die trying.
Eating Disorder
My 22-year-old niece has an eating disorder. Her Cardiologist sent her home to die. She is in a wheelchair now. The doctors give her less than 6 months to live. Be careful for what you wish for. Skinny is NOT worth dying for. Your post is so sad.
Ah, so you have the other disorder, you know, the one where you are delusional? LOL
x
Maybe you do have an eating disorder. You don't have to be thin
to have one. If your weight is an issue you the one that has the power to change it. Been overweight all of my entire life, but this is the year I'm determined to tackle it. Just too bad I didn't do it 20 years ago.
And Kim has a panic disorder and is agoraphobic.
It's no secret she has a bunch of mental disoders. As I said, the poor kid. Can't win.
somatization disorder website
www.cfsdoc.org/somat.htm
this is the one I was referrring to.
Sounds like a personality disorder
to me. Perhaps Borderline Personality Disorder, or personality disorder NOS. Maybe, though, it is hormonal. An abundance in testosterone CAN cause aggressive behavior, mood fluctuations, etc.
I hope you get to the root of the problem. But, the main thing that concerns me is his unwillingness to be evaluated or even admit that there may be a problem. This is what leads me to believe it's a personality disorder (borderline). People afflicted with this and anti-social personality disorder often do not admit that anything is off keel with themselves. Rather, it's alway's *someone else's* problem/matter/issue.
Good luck to you. I'll be thinking of you. Please keep us posted. The erratic behavior is really concerning.
you don't have to be skinny to have an eating disorder
and even though it sounds like you hurt your metabolism you CAN lose weight. it's all about calories in, calories out.
Katya had retinoblastoma - this one had a seizure disorder.
nm
Have any of you been diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder?
I have within the last week or so. Just wondering what meds your doc put you in and if it is helping and how long it helped all of your symptoms. I guess I was expecting "a feel-good feeling", too, but not really. The anxiety is definitely better. Had gone to the ER 3 times in less than a week, thinking it was my heart, but not.
Any help would be appreciated.
Young child and eating disorder?
I am wondering if there is something wrong with my stepson. I've been married to my hubby now for over a year, but his stepson still will not get close to me and I have stopped trying. I already feel like he has some developmental problems, as well as learning difficulties (he failed kindergarten). I just wonder can a young child have some type of eating disorder or do all kids do this? He will go a day or two and not eat anything and you cannot make him eat and then the next day, you can't fill him up. It is every 30 minutes he is asking my hubby for something to eat. And I cook a 3-course dinner every night so he has the opportunity to eat and I fix things he likes. Sometimes the only way my hubby can make him eat is if he tells him he'll carry him to the doctor if he doesn't eat. He's almost like an anorexic. He'll go a few days and hardly eat anything and then for a day or two, he binges. And he is very skinny and small for his age. And also sickly. His nose is always stuffy and you can hear him breathing. Just want some opinions on this. Thanks.
I have cleaned my house and now I have adjustment disorder sm
I have been working on my bathroom remodel since Memorial Day. It should have taken 4 weekends and I only just finished on Thanksgiving Day. I did 95% of myself, including cutting holes for and installing, 2 sinks in the vanity. I am pleased, it is gorgeous, but that is another story.
Okay, I put my bedroom back together after 6 months of being a disheveled PIT. I am cleaning the house because my daughter will be home in a couple of weeks to get married at the JP in a nearby town. I still have to make her a dress too...but I wanted the house clean for she and her fiance/husband. It is coming along very well.
My problem? I can't manage a house where I am not stepping over crap on the floor, shifting stuff around so I can get to my clothes or go to bed. This is all new to me, clean floor space and no dust, a place for everything and everything in its place...I can't cope. It is clean AND tidy, the antique linens are pressed and starched, on the surfaces. IT is lovely!!!!
I am depressed now. I don't adjust well to change.
Why would you call a cat with a seizure disorder a loser???
Would you call a human with epilepsy a loser too??? Wow.
I would type
MEDICATIONS: Zocor and Ambien.
OR
MEDICATIONS
1. Zocor
2. Ambien
And
DIAGNOSES: Hypertension and chronic heart failure.
OR
DIAGNOSES
1. Hypertension.
2. Chronic heart failure.
Depending on which looked better in relation to the rest of the report. But that's just me. :-)
Not my type either..
I do like the scruffier male type image - kind of like that actor who plays "House"
Always. I can't type without it. nm
nm
I had to type it in...
the address bar but could not find the Pantene link to click on.
It's 3 a.m. to type or not to type
Need some ideas about insomnia. Don't want to take those sleeping pills. I used to begin work at 3 a.m. and worked split. But, recently changed to day because I found if I got a good night's sleep my line count and disposition was better. Lucky to get day because it takes a lot of years usually to get it. But, now I find myself up at 3 anyway and for the last 2 hours have been surfing the net, mostly here and e bay. I know that if I typed some now I would be no good during the day and not get my usually good line count during the day that I usually get. BTW: Today is my day off, but I still plan to work and obviously hyper because I can't sleep now. Any suggestions on how to get off this overnight shift pattern? Been doing this insomnia overnight thing for about 2 years, and I like the quiet (3 kids and a husband) in the middle of the night, but worn out.
Please suggestions for an insomnia. And forget the warm milk, please YUK LOL. Thanks for your help. Maybe with your suggestions in a week or so I can get off this 3 a.m. pattern. TIA.
If you don't type why are you here?
Just leave!!!!!!
anybody out there ever type
What are the rules you apply to yourself for taking sedatives and drinking while at work? Does happy hour ever start early?
Wow, when I type
for a typing test (trying to get a job), I get so nervous I can barely type and practically pass out. Any tips on how NOT to do that.
I could never type 104 wpm anyway, but I type much worse when trying for a job. Gulp!
Well who is going to type MJ and FF?
That hospital was one of ours, so I told my DH that the docs will type it themselves as to not to get a leak out to the press. Sad times, sad times. I am in the Midwest now, not to worry about celebs. Pretty interesting day it was in the land of transcription. JMO. 
Ever have a day when you just cannot type
I had one of those days yesterday where I typed dyslexic all day and it's spilling over into today. Man, this sucks. Normally I never have more than one uncoordinated day every few months. Argh. It's frustrating!
We have to type it if dictated. I do this..
MEDICATIONS INCLUDE:
1.
2.
DIAGNOSES INCLUDE:
1.
2.
I didn't type this but...
During a report, this derm doctor who speaks in this odd monotone voice went on a diatribe (off the record) about a patient using something called "Boudreaux's Butt Paste." He had never heard of it, and neither had I until his report. The dude was HILARIOUS! He went off on a tangent, talking into the mic as if he were talking to another person, asking what it must be like for someone to go up to the pharmacy counter and ask for butt paste, and why on earth were they using butt paste on their face...and oh it went on for a good couple of minutes! I was actually laughing so hard I had tears down my face! Months later I found a tube of it in the baby section of Target and was tempted to mail him a small tube just for giggles, but then I thought maybe that would get me into trouble, so I didn't.
That was my most memorable and most fun report and I will never forget it. The dude should do stand up comedy, he was THAT funny!
Good times 
it was a *duh* type question. that's all. nm
nm
But I am certainly horrified when I type
a report of an facial x-ray on a patient who has been punched in the face.
They do it on TV and the movies all the time, and it only results in bloody lip, lost tooth, bloody nose, or broken nose. The reality can be much worse and quite horrifying to think just a punch with a fist could do that kind of damage.
No. It's a personality type to try to fix
things. A fixer (a male trait that some women have) doesn't realize it when a person is just asking for sympathy, not actual help. They think that by coming up with a practical solution, in this case, an honest way for you to make some cash and everybody to enjoy a little pampering for a small price, she has helped solve your problem. She has no idea this would be offensive and hurtful to you. If you complain she will be shocked because she honestly thought you were asking for help.
I had to figure this out because I have this trait and it's really hard for me to tell if somebody wants help or just a pity party.
LOL!! You should try to learn to type with them ;-) nm
x
Why can't you type Restuvus here?
Obviously am I missing something?
LOL SO TRUE! That is so true. Especially if you type and type
and forget the catheter in that your boss sent you with the computer and company policies booklet. LOL.
What type of mixer do you have?
ty :)
Sorry! What type of machine do you have? :)
ty
smart type
I had someone tell me that Stedman's smart type was the way to go as far as spell checker and speed typing program. what do you use? and have you used it?
no clue what I was trying to type- sm
under influence of cold meds......think I was trying to type "I was born in 1965".
What type of shipping?
If the person ships it media mail for the book, it will take up to three weeks for you to receive it. Regardless, one week is not really long enough to file a complaint or start contacting the person. I have been doing business on ebay, buying and selling once in a while, and I know you cannot expect your items so soon...especially around Christmas.
if your ex is the type of person who would allow (sm)
an evil witch stepmother to deny his children things... and would not even bother to get his own child a Christmas present, why would you regret not staying married to him? If that is who he is, that is who he already was. If he cared about his children he would do better by them now. I think you did the right thing by divorcing him.
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