Your parents sort of invited themselves to spend -
Posted By: San Francisco - (s/m) on 2007-11-14
In Reply to: Opinion - HELP! :) - Sunshine
the night at your place instead of their usual Christmas day routine. You were kind enough to offer to let them come with you to your husband's Christmas Eve party, but for whatever reason, they don't want to. I would just go on ahead to the party and have fun! You never know, maybe your parents would ENJOY just a quiet evening at your house after the long drive.
They still have THREE choices: Stay at your place by themselves, go along with you, or go back and do it the original way, coming to see you just on Christmas Day. The ball's in their court. And think how disappointed your husband's folks, plus all the cousins, etc. would be if you two didn't go.
I suppose the fourth option is for him to go alone and you to stay home lone with your folks, but that doesn't sound very fun. So I'd do the party, and you'll get to see BOTH sets of parents, and they'll both get to see you.
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- Opinion - HELP! :) - Sunshine
- Your parents sort of invited themselves to spend - - San Francisco - (s/m)
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Do they spend time with your parents
and willingly or just how is time split up between the g'parents?
Not being invited...
I know the feelings of not being invited places by husband. But when the other wife is going that is just a slap in the face. I mean how rude can he be? That is wrong. It sounds like he just don't want you to go because something going on he knows you wouldn't approve of. I myself got dumped on this evening. Everyone and their wives and children were going to a superbowl party at a friends and my brother-in-law and sister-in-law and everybody going but he got dressed spur of the moment and said he was going and took my son with him but didn's say get dressed or are you going or nothing. I didn't know he was leaving until he went to walk out the door. So obviously he didn't want me to go. I know they couldn't be doing anytning wrong with kids there but it hurts my feelings that I wasnt included. So I know how you feel.
or just maybe you were invited
because she'd like to share the joy with all her family. but with your attitude, you may as well stay home. Personally, i would bet she'd rather you would just show up dressed anywhichway and nevermind the gift. Maybe it would be an opportunity to re-connect with the mother, aunts, etc. On the other hand, I am sure not everyone that RSVPs shows up.
Really? People are invited to a shower over the phone?
If I were invited to a shower via a telephone call, I might think that my inclusion in the party was an afterthought. It's far nicer, and manners dictate, that a written invitation be sent for a party, especially when the party includes gift-giving.
There is no way to defend asking guests to address their own envelopes for thank you cards. I stand by the opinion that it is tacky. If you know someone well enough to ask them to a shower and expect a gift from them, then you should make the effort to get their address and send them a written invitation.
Bud was married 27 yrs & his mother never invited her to call her Mom
s
The first turkey I made and I invited my poor dad over . . sm
I cooked the poor bird with the green bag of giblets inside!!!! I will NEVER forget the look on my dad's face when it appeared from nowhere! I was 25 then. Many years and good meals ago. . . LOL. Sorry, you asked! 
I am invited to a Birthday party for a friend of mine, whom
I have known for many years. Her mother and my mother were friends. Her mother died a few years ago.
The problem is that I am a nonsmoker and my family all 100% nonsmokers. I maintain a smoke free environment at all costs. My friend smokes heavily as well as about 95% of her family. They will all be there. I have some health issues, not respiratory, and I do not want the second-hand smoke exposure. In addition, my eyes burn, my hair and clothes reek of smoke, etc. What do I do? This is a special birthday for her marking a milestone. If I don't go it won't look good. . . if I do go I will be very heavily exposed to the smoking for the duration of the party, I am sure. What do do? Thanks for any advice you can give. 
No just spend a day there. nm
:
I think this is about what I spend
I'm not sure yet, but I think it's about $200 a month. But there are people posting who spend less than that for several people!
I hardly ever use coupons. It just seems like most of the time they are for stuff I never use. No one doubles coupons up here, ever. This mountain community caters to tourists, so things are more expensive on the weekends, when the skiers and boaters are here. I avoid going to town at those times.
No, I would not go. If that means he goes and you spend TG by yourself so be it.
After enduring 13 years of the "in-laws" I gave my husband an ultimatum - either them or me and I meant it. I was not putting up with them anymore. Fortunately, he chose me and his kids, and our lives have been so peaceful for the past 6 years without them in it! I just severed the ties.
Good luck with your situation. I really feel for you.
My mom always says "stay away from those who disrupt your inner peace." I listened to her advice.
I pay $85 in a big city, but she does spend 45 sm
minutes or so washing, cutting and styling may between chin and shoulder length hair. Five minutes is ridiculous. I don't see how they can even do a good job in that amount of time.
Yes, I know $85 is high (plus tip). I have just had so many hack jobs at less money that I got scared and went to a trendier place in the city.
For so many of the students they spend more
time with the teacher than they do with their parents. These teachers are preparing these kids to be the future of our country someday. Look at the money that atheletes make for playing a game. It is ridiculous.
Spend most of the $$$ on the grandkids now.
Give our four kids and spouses $50.00 per couple to purchase something they would like. Usually my husband will give the men a pocket knife or some small tool (under $15.00) the women get a Christmas ornament for the tree each year. Used to spend more on them before they had their own children. Probably spend $75.00 each on each of the seven grandchildren. Always ask for nothing from them, as I feel that Christmas is really for the kids and now grandkids. They don't need to spend their money on us and we really need nothing. I usually will spend about $200.00 on my husband. Don't exchange with parents per their request (only 1 set left), or with my or DH siblings (too many). Just happy if everyone can stop by for the dinner which we hold every year for the family. Also, I pick things up all through the year, to help spread out the spending, which helps.
Make sure you lie down and spend
some time on several. We are happy with ours, and I think it's a Sealy. It's the one that doesn't transfer motion because DH is bigger than me and he moves around a lot.
Make sure you lie down and spend
some time on several. We are happy with ours, and I think it's a Sealy. It's the one that doesn't transfer motion because DH is bigger than me and he moves around a lot. Ours has a pillow topper. I believe it's best to have layers of different types of foam for the most comfort.
I hear bad things about the memory foam types. Not only do many people find them hot, they don't perform well for activities that aren't sleeping, if you know what I mean. I've never had one, but the problem was described as feeling stuck and not being able to move right.
I think the adjustable air mattresses sound like a ripoff and I was not impressed when DH insisted I lie down on one at the store.
How much do you spend on groceries....
per month, & how many in your family? Anything special adding to (or subtracting from) the bill, like vegetarian diet? What part of the country do you live in?
Just curious.
I'm in Florida and spend about $175/wk for 5 sm
I'm in Florida, and it is me, my husband, our 2 kids (son 7 and daughter 11), and my father-in-law, and I swear my FIL, who is 5Ǝ" and 158 lbs, eats more than my husband, who is 6Ɖ" and 345 lbs. FIL had to have a feeding tube put in last July, and I had to cut down meals by half because we were having so many leftovers and wasting money. Just when I thought I had it figured out, he was able to get the tube removed, so I'm back to making meals for an army. I just wish I had his metabolism as he just does not seem to gain weight and even had to go on high-calorie Ensure when he had the feeding tube to gain weight. I shudder to think of what my grocery bill will be when my son hits puberty I don't buy stuff for lunches here at home as we (FIL and I) will just eat a sandwich or leftovers from the fridge
As far as special foods, we don't really buy anything out of the ordinary. I buy frozen vegetables instead of canned unless it is for a recipe, and for a while we were buying meat at a butcher shop but have had to cut that out for now. It was really good but was close to DH's work, and if he couldn't pick it up while he was in the area, it was a 45-minute drive. I cook most things from scratch, except lasagna because I hate making it. Once a month, we have a luncheon at church that I bring a dish and a dessert, and I cook Wednesday night dinner there one night per month, but I get reimbursed for the Wednesday night dinner. I do include paper products and toiletries in with my grocery budget but that's it, and I usually go to Sam's once a month for those.
I have it easy compared to my parents though. My dad got paid once a month, and there were 4 kids at home all the time, 5 when my sister came up during the summer. They used to have 3 grocery carts slap full of food, and my mom figured out that it took something like 18 boxes of cereal to last a month, each one with a date marked on it so we didn't go through them too quickly. And to keep my brother from using a mixing bowl and a serving spoon to eat cereal  We also had a freezer to keep extra bread and other things, and my mom also used to mix in powdered milk when the gallon was half-way gone. I never knew until I was grown, so she definitely blended it well.
I think I spend less at the store when
we eat out/order in. Of course, then our "entertaining" budget increases. But some things are cheaper to just order in. For example, pizzas -- I can get 2 large pepperoni pizzas from the local pizzeria for under $20. If I buy them in the store, I spend about $15 and then have to cook them and my kids don't like the frozen kind as well. The frozen kind are also smaller.
I just got groceries this past Friday and spent $200. I had an entire cart full. In addition to the coupons I had, I also had a 20% discount on everything (one of those reward plans for spending so much the previous 2 months). I got value packs of skinless/boneless chicken breasts - buy 1 get 1 free -- $15 packs of chicken, breakfast sausage on sale, ham steaks on sale, plus my 20% off all that.
Overall, I think I spend somewhere around $150 a week on groceries. There are 5 of us -- me, my hubs, and 3 boys -- ages 6 to 11.
What I notice that I spend more on are school lunches. It costs $2.00 a day per child and I don't think they actually eat it. I'm thinking about packing my kids' lunches each day. $2/day x 3 kids = $6/day x 5 days/week = $30/week x 4 weeks/month = $120 for lunch. YIKES!!! I think I can do better than that if I pack them.
Will spend about $300 for the grandkids..
we don't buy for anyone else. DH and I buy what we want throughout the year. This year though he wants a metal detector, probably around $1200 and I have the same amount to do something with. We don't really buy gifts for each other but we do go away for Christmas week to a cabin in the mountains that we rent, no phone, no TV, have to drive 12 miles to get cell service. We relax, read, snowshoe, ski, bring the portable DVD player and catch up on movies, sleep late. That's our gift to each other.
maybe you should spend some more money
seriously
right!!???okay... they say they want us to spend money
to stimulate the economy
spending money is good...
okay... gonna give me some?
I really think some people/media are out of touch.
Good thing I work 10 hours a day. Otherwise, watching news, which is pretty much all I watch in my off time (a few murder real stuff shows), would drive me nuts.
just spend time only with him, get him something just for him. Hug him.
nm
The Obamas spend too much.... SO MAD
Seems to me like the Obama's don't have very good budget planning skills, at home or in the "office". People are losing their jobs, just like all the people laid off from Crystler, and hey she is wearing $600 shoes!!!! What a great example!!!
Sort of. sm
I had root canals on my front teeth and could never get the money to have them capped. On a Sat night before I was to start a new job the following Monday, I bit into a BLT and a front tooth shattered into pieces. A dentist saw me on Sunday emergently and was able to built it back up - I certainly was not going to start a new job missing a front tooth. Good luck.
can anyone help me sort?
I have microsoft word, works, notepad and word pad. i'm wanting to sort a list in alphabetical order. in word, i find sort under tables, but it doesn't sort....?? any other way to do it, or suggestions on why its not sorting the list?
many thanks.
Sort of the same here.
Personally I would rather someone take back the gift than to waste my money by hanging onto something that they don't like or doesn't fit. It is the thought that counts and doesn't bother me.
I am a thrifty person, everyone knows this. My MIL buys me things that I consider frivolous and if I can return them and get something similar for substantially less $ and then use the extra money for something else we need or donate it or take the in-laws to dinner, I will. I know she doesn't like it because she will comment on the items such as "didn't that coffee pot have a timer, clock, and all the gadgets?" Yes, it did but we wouldn't use those features and it was an extra $50. Or a hot chocolate maker that just took up cabinet space and was used once, the day after christmas. I returned it for $45 and bought really nice meat thermometer, which I tell everyone my MIL bought for xmas.
The nice thing is she has always, and for everyone, included the receipts for most items. I would never, ever ask her for the receipt. I have returned things that were purchased with her credit card and had them credit her back. Whether she notices or not, I don't know. I don't say anything because I don't want her to feel odd about it but I just think it's the right thing to do and it's not about the money.
Besides, I tell them every year not to get me anything - I grew up with little at the holiday and family/friends were emphasized. Not the case at the in-laws. They shower everyone with gifts and then everyone departs for home.
I wouldn't spend so much as a penny... sm
At any store that sells puppies and kittens. Why? Because they all come from puppy mills or other questionable "breeders" (despite their denials). I would never put money in the pockets of a puppy miller.
No its not unreasonable and I do want them to spend time with her (sm)
I try to be as encouraging as I can and I tell them how much she loves them. But honestly when they find out they have to go, they cry every time they think about it, even if it is days away, and then cry all the way there.
We all have a right to choose how we spend our time (sm)
If that makes you happy then fine. That would not make me happy. I am not "simpering" or helpless. Also not a slave.
He really doesn't want to spend his only vacation like that either and his ...sm
solution is to blow them off at the last minute with some kind of excuse.
I say we let them know now so his sister and nephew don't get there hopes up for the next six months.
You are right, for a woman to spend all her years
just raising her family and making a home, she probably would get more than us working people. I still would go for the jugular.
Yes, I spend 'way too much of my life in this - sm
chair! Good thing it's super-comfy! This is a really old house on a steep hill, and the whole house tilts a bit, so when I'm at my computer, everything leans leftwards!
This is my view from my computer desk, and why I have trouble concentrating on my monitor all day!
I'm in Delaware also and spend about $150 a week plus sm
send care packages to my son in college. I also go every two weeks and my bill comes to about $300. I wait until my fridge is empty and my cupboards are half empty. Then, I muster up the energy to do the food shopping. I hate that job.......
If my hubby goes, he spends way less and buys only sale items. I, on the other hand, like to buy all the goodies....
How much do you spend on Christmas gifts?
Is it the same budget every year, or with the economy the way it is will you cut back? If you have small children, do you spend more than on others?
Just curious to see what people do moneywise.
For us who spend our lives listening
we all sure have a lot to say! Love it.
No, just telling the truth and I spend
my money on some bills monthly but mostly spend like I want as don’t have others I have to support. Buy things for my home, oh, I forgot I did not ask my association when I put the new granite counters in nor the marble in the bathroom, oh my, now I will have to report on myself I guess. To say one has to ask the association things you do for upkeep in your house is st**pid....
Okay, what does your family spend on lunch
What's the family lunch budget for kids and husbands?
 Us that work at home don't get a lunch budget I know
I have an HP, but and I sort of have to press
out, but I've got it down now. I think I know what you are talking about, but it just sort of pops out, once you press down on it. Then you have to set the new one in there and click it in by pushing it towards the back. I hope this makes sense. Also, I try to say nice things to my printer, so it will act right. This always worked for faulty copiers and fax machines when I worked on-site. People think I'm weird, can you tell?
Glad (sort of) to know we are not alone
I forgot that my vet also did the skin scrapings and came up negative.
I hope someone will offer some help. I feel so bad for her and when it gets to the point that we are waking up at night...well, I just feel so bad for her.
I will let you know if we arrive at a solution.
I sort of know where you are coming from
with the prices of houses by me. Most people probably don't realize that 400,000 in some areas does not get you much and you probably can't find a 3 bedroom decent house for under 350,000. I think people are getting the wrong impression and thinking you want to live way beyond your means when in reality you just want a decent place to live. As I said, I'm in the same boat and it stinks. Just be careful; sounds like way too much debt to be comfortable with your current situation. Have you thought about moving somewhere cheaper? I am sure your wife can find a job as a nurse anywhere, maybe making even more money; also if she is an RN they can work just weekends and make a full time income. For you, you can always work at home doing MT full time and part time with 2 companies putting in 50 or so hrs a week for now. You'd save on any kind of childcare that way at least while the baby is an infant. But then you may have to put off school. Unfortunately this is what happens. We can't have it all as much as we'd all like to. Sounds like at least you do have a few options, though, the way I see it; so good luck whatever you choose to do.
There must be some sort of natural
repellent on the market that you can spray on the furniture so that when he jumps up there and sniffs around, whatever he does, he won't like it and will get down. I have heard of something similar with cayenne pepper or something in it that keeps them away...Will see if I can find what I am thinking and post it if I can.
I'm the odd one out, but I sort of agree
I do have a child in advanced math. He's in 8th grade taking Algebra and he'll be 14 at the end of the month.
My thing is if your daughter tested well enough to get into this Physics class, then she must be one smart cookie! However, if you encourage her to drop out when in fact she can probably do the work and just has to work a little harder, I think you all will regret it.
A GPA is wonderful to have at high levels; we all know that, but if that high GPA is being earned because the child is in "easy classes", then it doesn't mean much at that point.
I say keep her in the class. She'll get through it, and she may not get a 98%, but she may find it a nice challenge, if she's as smart as you say she is, which I believe she is to be accepted into a Physics class in 9th grade. Let's not kid here!
Good luck to you! I think she'll do great and she just has a little nervousness as maybe it's not coming so easy right now, but it will come! I hope this all makes sense! 
What sort of response did you get?
.
Maybe he could be sort of a general fix-it guy
Someone in my area actually has an ad in the paper that says 'Rent-a-Husband'. For household things like building shelves or cabinets, lighting a pilot light, trapping and removing a mouse in the bathroom, or a bat in the garage, things like that. Petsitting and dog-walking are good options for a rent-a-husband, too! Or for busy people, someone to take their car to the shop for a tuneup and oil change, so they don't have to. Back in the 1970's, during the gas 'shortage', when lines for gas were hours long, people made money by taking people's cars to the gas station and filling up for them.
Maybe he could build those cute wooden children's toys you see at the fancier toy stores. And either sell them or give them to organizations that give toys to needy children. If he's 'artsy-craftsy', maybe he can come up with really cute dog-collars & matching leashes, or cute wooden pet-beds that look like miniatures of the real thing. If he likes to write, and is smart, maybe he could start an advice column for soon-to-be-seniors. (Nowadays 61 isn't really a 'senior' - I think it's closer to 75-80!) Or, if he likes kids, maybe a 'rent-a-grandpa'! Or else maybe a small mail-order business, like on eBay.
Well, that's all for my ideas, I need to get to work, myself!
Hope he finds the PERFECT idea!
sort of still keep in contact, but
They didn't go to HS with me. One I've known since probably 1978 when I was 8 and she was 6 and we were visiting here on vacation, then my family moved here and she and I have been BF since 1985...only keep in touch by email and occasional phone calls.
My other one I've known since 1995 and we're in touch by email too.
Our lives are just too complicated and too far apart by distance to really see eachother, but we can catch up instantly with eachother even if it has been a while
To take any sort of antidepressants is
the worst advice one can give. Lexapro and all others are associated with risks of suicide.
Poll: What do you spend your entertainment money on?
nm
How much to spend on stepkids Christmas gifts.SM
I have two stephchildren, 26 and 23. They are very sweet and we have a good relationship. Every year I have given them $50.00 each cash for Christmas. Needless to say, I'm an MT, so you have some idea of how much I make.
I have one daughter. DH will ask me to buy a gift for him for her, which I have done. That is out of my pocket.
Does this sound right? No, really. Is this typical? Very honestly, I think Christmas is for children and that adults should not be exchanging gifts at all. Any thoughts on this whole matter? Thanks.
I was born in NYC, spend most of my life in Boston... so
I'm gonna watch the Law and Order CI/SVU marathon. HA.
(avoiding the superbowl entirely, can't decide who to root for, and besides L@O marathon rocks) with a side of pizza and pepsi! Life is good.
Live in Oregon, just DH and me, spend about 400 a month...
give or take including cat supplies. Costco every 4 to 5 weeks. Love really good bread, yogurt, real half and half for my coffee and fresh fruit and veggies no matter what the cost. Eat out on an average of 4 times a week, lunch or dinner on our days off, not fast food (Ugh). Cook everything from scratch, no boxes or cans here, except for pasta. I don't eat red meat on a regular basis, chicken every now and then, but DH gets his steak, chops, whatever, ( I get the big pkg at Costco) at least twice a week. I have only seen a spike in dairy and bread products, but I won't buy cheap, to me it's not worth it; if I'm eating it, I want it to taste good and not be loaded with preservatives, etc. I'd rather spend 2.98 a pound for really good apples instead of 98 cents a pound for mealy ones. I'm Italian, so food is a religion for me and it better be good!
In Montana and just me and husband spend $400 a month..nm
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