Your observations are right on
Posted By: Kaydie on 2008-07-25
In Reply to: Yes he needs intense therapy - anon
I think she has not fully researched getting help for people with disabilities. I guess I kept saying retarded because is shorter than writing out mental retardation. That's the only term I've ever known it by (or that I can think of right now). I know a lot of people use "special" or "slow", but to me it's the same thing. The doctors diagnosis they gave her years ago on paper (some certificate so he could get a disability number) was "mental retardation". Forget exactly what percentage capacity they diagnosed him at but that was what it was.
As for why they would bring a 2 year old or any other child into this situation is beyond my comprehension, and beyond my father's, my aunt's, my cousin's, my friends's, her friends, my in-laws, etc. I never said anything to her before they adopted because my aunt and a lot of her friends would give her their opinions about how they didn't think it's a good idea when they are always having trouble (sometimes financially but most of the time with the nephew), but sis would call me in tears after they would openly tell her what their viewpoints were and she would be crying because its all she's ever wanted was to have another child, and how all her freinds at church have at least 4 and 5 kids, etc, etc). I would tell her that I cannot advise her because I am not in her situation financially or dealing with the nephew, but told her that with me being 49 years old I would not do it. I just told her for me I am too old and couldn't take having a kid around me all the time. I think sis has some emotional problems herself. She feels that having a young kid around will keep her and her husband young. They love doing things all the time (I don't think they could stand to be home in their house for a whole day without going out). They always have to be out doing something (I'm 100% opposite - I never want to leave my house). Anyway...there's a lot they can't afford and they should have never adopted in the first place but that is my opinion. I only told my dad that once and he agreed with me totally but said you can't tell her anything and she gets defensive. So to answer the last part - they weren't thinking. My aunt has called me several times and always says that. Mom died 4 years ago. I think if she was alive she would have talked to sis and given her some feedback.
Well right now I'm seeing if I can find any type of centers back there that help people with nephews problems and his condition. If it was me I would say ditch the nephew and keep the niece. HA HA. Nephew keeps saying how he wants to live on his own, but sis says he has also said that is so he can walk around naked all day, watch cartoons, eat and play with his power rangers without anyone telling him to do anything.
All I say is I'm glad I'm not in their shoes. I like my peaceful environment and I know what my limits are both with people and financial. They just go on a day by day whatever happens happens way of life.
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You're right in your observations...
I've been to only 2 "good" chiropractors in the past... those that weren't trying to see how many times you'll be willing to come in so they can get money from you.
As you said, a good one will do x-rays and recommend a reasonable treatment plan. The dishonest ones will try to tell you that you need to come in 4-5 x a week for a month.
The worst case I ever encountered was after an accident where I had a severe muscle spasms in my neck due to the seatbelt yanking on it (kept me in my seat and not through the windshield !) and that doctor was highly recommended by a friend. Well, unforunately this doctor thought he saw the formula of "car accident + other person's fault + neck strain = lots of money for me. It was horrible. He tried to tell me that I had severe injuries, would need 2 months of 5x a week therapy to start with and then recommended an attorney to "protect" me and then started talking about how much similar injured patients had received from the lawsuits. It made me nauseated.
I reported his butt to the insurance commissioner's fraud division, filed an affidavit with them and helped them nail this criminal, then found a real chiropractor who had my spasm worked out in 2 weeks.
My personal observations as a
mom: I am in my 40s and grew up back in the old days when discipline for kids in school and at home was okay; however, methods used then are now taboo. It looks like *traditional* discipline (which I feel was not necessarily always sensible) has been replaced with an either hands-off approach (due to fear of lawsuits, retaliation, etc.) or extreme measures, as described in the above post. This brings to mind the question: How much more effective are we these days with these approaches?
I feel for kids these days as well as future generations - looks like they'll have their hands full, if society continues this way.
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