Your aunt is a wise woman, and she is a strong person
Posted By: Holiday MT on 2007-12-11
In Reply to: When my ex and I were together...sm - PammyB
for being a Pastor's wife. For some reason, Pastors seem to be the most difficult to understand about how to be sensitive to people, when it is their job to do so. No offense to pastors and to my husband. But when I loved him best when he delivered pizza and Sunday mornings I still feel put off. And those are the mornings I am probably the most up in arms about this control issue. I dont think that is what the Bible meant either. Thanks for your comment. Your aunt also sounds like she was a great example to women and men alike as the pastor's wife. :)
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your grandmother=wise woman..saying comes from
Woman
was made from the rib of man, she was not created from his head-to top him, nor from his feet-to be stepped upon.
She was made from his side, to be equal to him; from beneath his arm-to be protected by him; near his heart-to be loved by him.
From The Talmud
You are wise and a very good person (sm)
Your daughter and granddaughter are very lucky to have you, especially your granddaughter.
Everything you said is true.
The best thing I ever did for my kids after divorce was never to say an unkind word about their father, never put them in the middle, and the parade of frogs was a definite no-no!
Your advice was excellent. You SHOULD write a book!! As many divorces as there are any more, you would think this issue would have more emphasis in some form of media.
You sound like a very wise person and I a glad to that
he did understand. Over-the-top is never good. Not for an adult and certainly not for a child. A gift with meaning and purpose is more cherished than a trunk load of junk and will be remembered, not thrown away.
This person said below she does not want to be a strong parent
I for one would have never written such a post. Not only are you wimping out as a parent but you are also underwriting a child breaking the law. Shame on you big time! You are supposed to be a parent but seems like you want to go back to being a child?
Well I am an aunt and great aunt
I spend a lot of time with my nieces and nephews. Even though divorced still hear from the in-law niece and nephew. I know that they are all different, their likes and dislikes and do something special with them that entails their likes. Not much money but time. Used to do Christmas crafts with them and the older ones over 21 still remember it and the fun we had. Like I have often said it is not the money you spend but the time and knowing that they like, taking an interest in them. When they were little -- especially my great nephews and niece, they would call and say that they needed some "special time" which meant that they wanted time with just them and so no matter what I would have going on I always had them over. I also never broke a promise or a committment to them unless I was on my deathbed and I think that they remember that also. And now that they are older - as am I -- they do more for me -- my 20 year old nephew and his friends took off my paneling and put up sheet rock in my living room, office and kitchen and did not expect pay nothing but lunches and Gator Aid. I tell them aunts are a little special and unique creatures, No matter if a grandparent, foster grandparent, aunt, cousin a lot of these kids just want time spent with them and for you to know them -- it makes them feel special. I am taking my second great nephew to Disneyworld for his graduation -- took his brother to San Francisco. So looking forward to that this summer.
I don't know, this post down below has me thinking. What are your thoughts, woman to woman. sm
If your spouse came to you and said he was having an affair, would you be more upset if it was with a male or female? For me, definitely a female! If it were male then I would think that it had absolutely nothing to do with me and everything to do with him. I would be devastated if he were with another woman. Another poster below said she would be more upset if he were found with a male. What about you?
Are you a night person or a morning person?
Just curious . . .
And cost wise?
Read all the above and thanks so much. Now in the midst of trying to get my yard in shape after the grubs set in and do not want to spend an arm and a leg on flooring. Thanks again.
Cost wise?
Heard sodding expensive.
very wise advice about how to go about
It keeps it from looking like a competition or disapproval, and more about the longterm effects of treating a child over-the-top and how they might interpret that as they are "damaged." A+ advice!
She may be able to work her way up job-wise
xx
Its wise to stay away
I had a C-section and had planned to stay at my mom's for a week or so to recuperate. As soon as I got there, I put the baby in the cradle in the living room and started to put some things away in the bedroom. I could hear my step-dad saying "get 'im, get 'im" to his dog....I went out there and he was actually encouraging his schnauzer to mess with the baby! I came real close to braining him with a can of tomatoes over it. I left and refused to bring the baby to their house as long as he was in it. My mom, too, chose the step-dad over her kids. Now he's dead and her relationship with her kids is rocky, and she regrets it.
What a wise looking face.
I'm sorry about your husband's death. You must both miss him very much. 
Wise ol' soul
I really do, especially around this time of year. But, I ws lucky to have him as long as i did.
And, Silver has always been a wise ol' soul. He is a great comfort. But, unfortunately Silver has cancer and is getting really thin. So, I think he will be with my husband before too long.
That picture was taken a few years ago.
I like those words - very very wise
Going to remember that one.
What would you do - survival wise
Thinking about the storm Gustave (sorry, don't know how to spell it or want to open up new window to find correct spelling), but it brings me to another question I wanted to ask. If you knew an impending storm (or some other disaster) was heading your way, and you would be out of power for 30 days (no refrigeration or electricity/gas) and was stuck in your home and could not leave (roads blocked or whatever reason) and you had time to prepare ahead of time. What kinds of foods would you have on hand in your "emergency stash" and what types of things would you eat.
Wow, ya'll are so wise -- thanks
Appreciate any comments/advice. Keep it up! Thanks a lot.
Age wise, I am 10 years
older than DH.
Personality wise? I am probably most like Blanche! LOL
x
Wise words, I second the rec. for the above post
Excellent points all.
I think that is a wise choice. So glad
you brought dad into this! It is just too much for one - I know because I was the only one.
You aunt....
It sounds like you have tried very hard to look out for your aunt and what is in her best interest. Maybe now that her son has seen that someone is trying more to care for her, he may be NOW aware of just how much he really needs to be doing for her. Sometimes it's hard for a child to admit their parent has become so disabled that they need to be taken care of the way their parents used to take care of them, EVERYDAY! I hope your aunt can find a nice place where you can visit with her but of course, your aunt will always love her son dearly and just wants to be close to him like any parent. I just hope he realizes that.
woman to woman talk sm
This has nothing to do with being a christian, it has more to do with group dynamics. I have to deal with it all the time with 6 women in an in-law situation. They are narrow-minded Bible-thumping bigots.I happen to be of another "denomination" and I do attend every function of theirs, weddings, funerals, all of it, receive their communion. I have had my parents die, lost my younger sister and many things happen where they could have reciprocated, yet they will not "step foot" in my church. So where is all their faith, they certainly are not practicing the do unto others. I can relate, it is a horrible way to live. Thank God, I had psychology courses and know about group dynamics, I am in the middle of a herd mentality. I could go on forever, they even have "interventions" when someone in their family wants to marry or date someone not from their denomination. They are awful. I know your pain! It's not your imagination, they hide behind their cohesive "numbers game," one speaks and all the others agree in unison. No one has a chance against this mob. It's tough to be your own person, lots of tears. And guys think it's all in our heads - NOT! Hang in, perhaps you'll have a Divine Intervention somehow.
Kangaroo. cat woman or wonder woman?
x
Please forgive the double post. Wise NM
x
LOL- she sounds wise beyond her years. She's lucky to have you. nm
xx
A wise 1st grade teacher told us...
"If you won't believe that I was mean to your kids, I won't believe that you had dog food for dinner last night."
Wise words, bright side....
I had a mini-meltdown several months ago when the work pretty much dried up for awhile. My SO was so very supportive and reminded me that no matter what happened, even if we ended up living in a cardboard box, we would have each other and no one could take that away from us.
I'd always been extremely strong and independent before I met him, and would struggle through things alone and silently, always hiding behind the "everything is just fine" facade to everyone I knew.
It's so nice to have someone to love and trust and turn to for support when things get rough.
Knowing that someone is waiting right there to catch you if you start to fall off the edge is something no amount of money can buy.
Hang in there, backwardstypist...Things will work out for you and your DH.
what a wise, insightful and compassionate comment.
I wish you all the best and that you come out as a winner because you deserve it.
Percentage-wise, shoplifting is a more likely source of
I was horrified, what - a year ago? - to watch an episode of Oprah where three teenage girls AND THEIR MOTHERS were guests saying in front of God and the world that the girls engage in oral sex, how common it was, etc.
There was some point in this country when we decided that "shame" was bad (the oxymoronic suggestion being that we should be ashamed of shame!) - and nothing good has come out of this ridiculous 'progressive humanist' idea or its twin - the notion that outcomes should be the same for everyone regardless of their ability or effort.
Let's get the notion of shame back on stage - front and center. There ARE things that humans do that SHOULD make them feel shame and guilt. When we lose our ability to experience guilt, we have...let's see now, what do we have again? Oh yes, now I remember - we have Bernie Madoff and his $50 billion scam, television you can no longer watch with your children, teachers seducing their students, and a whole lot of other very unpleasant consequences.
strong stuff
I use to sell the stuff and let me tell you the backing should not hurt the flooring. Actually, I took a screwdriver and tried to scrap, chip or just try to mar the surface of the flooring and I could not even scratch it at all.
It's hard, but be strong for your mom and go.
If this is a family gathering, I'd go and be as polite as I could stomach, and then leave and take it up with her at a later time. Can't say I wouldn't flash her the ol' stinkeye once or twice when no one was looking though.
5 years and going strong
We have had ours 5 years too and store it in a shed in the backyard. It snows here in the winter and gets really hot in the summer. It still works like a charm. Go ahead, make that step and give up all those messy light strings!
I probably would if I had a strong suspicion...
I don't necessarily think it's the right thing to do, but usually when people have a very strong suspicion that something is "off" with their significant other they are right in my experience - unless it's someone who just gets jealous/suspicious over every little thing. But if your significant other is innocent, then you risk ruining their trust in you, and if you don't fess up to what you've done then you risk accidentally divulging information you learned while snooping and thereby "outing" yourself. It's a slippery slope for sure!
That may be why it is so strong! They want people to buy
xxx
You don’t seem to be a strong parent
With teenage drinking, driving and the like, why even take the chance of having a diaster in the making waiting around the corner. I just do not see my ever wimping out to my child's father or anyone else for that matter. I guess you don’t want to look like the bad guy but here I think you really do.
Elderly Aunt
Kimmie-
You are being extremely overly sensitive. Your aunt is elderly - have patience. Continue to be kind and forgive her for what you perceive as rudeness. Save the hurt feelings for things that are really important. 
Dipper
I would think that your aunt would be proud that
a man who was not a child's biological father would take her, love her and raise as his child, grieve when passes away and refers to her as his daughter. My sister and brother-in-law married when my sister's youngest child was 18 months old. That child is now almost 20 and refers to him as "Dad." Her biological father is alive but the relationship is strained because she had a child out of wedlock. The stepfather, however, loves the child that she had and refers to him as his grandson. 
Your aunt's comment....
''well, the doctors really do not want you to tell them what you think it is or what to do for any ailments.''
I don't understand why you are upset; she was talking about the doctors, not you, and her comment was pretty much right on. Unless I am misunderstanding.
I have some problems, probably fibro or a rheumatoid thing, and am going to doctors now for a workup. I do a LOT of research and I know a lot. But, in my experience so far, if you tell a doctor what you think it is, most will do everything in their power to prove you wrong or will just say no, if they don't think of it first. It's called arrogance and yes a holier than thou attitide.
So I guess I don't understand why this upset you.
What kind of aunt ?
You should have asked my brother about that. He did not talk with me for the last 5 years of his life because I married a black guy. He also decided to keep his children away from me. That was his decision. That was what he wanted. The SIL remarried, took her children away, had no contact with my mother hardly, their maternal grandmother (the mother of her husband, remember), no contact with the great maternal aunt of these children. Now go back and ask again what kind of aunt was I?
Like you, the strong medicine they gave just does not do
it at all. Oh, he also ordered an injection of cortisone today so who knows? I told him the hard stuff did not work and did not need anything for pain, wanted to find out what was causing my pain and after the trigger points told me definitely my problem. I have gone to a pain clinic close by before and would do that again, returning in 2 weeks to this particular clinic and by then should have started the water aerobics and will ask about the pain clinic. I told hubby tonight the pain there all the time, sometimes excrucating and other times just the all over the body pain like mine is today. Gosh, you would not wish this on your worst enemy, would you? Good luck to you also.
Where are the nasty comments. just some very strong
opinions that happen to not agree with your opinion. I thought we were all just discussing. So what if someone doesn't agree with my opinion, that's fine. We are all entitled to our opinion and we just have to agree to disagree. Please don't take this so personally. I don't think any of it was aimed at you.
You definitely need a strong support system sm
right now. If being closer to your family will help you trough this then that is what you should do. You will be a better mother to your children if you are able to handle this better. About the money, since your child will be in first grade that should cut down on the cost of preschool. I am sure there are wonderful other speech therapists out there. Listen to your heart and "Go Home" and be surrounded by people that love and care for you.
Actually, if you're a strong Christian
and grounded in your faith, you are going to wear it everywhere you go because that is what Jesus instructed us to do. Our job on this earth is to preach the gospel to all people so that they might come to know him.
I'm sorry that it bothers you (and don't say it doesn't because it obviously does) but if you don't like the the posts of Jan, mammamt and others who have chosen to profess their faith then don't read them but please don't knock them down.
I know this is an absolutely futile argument but I just had to throw my 2 cents in there.
nice strong cup of coffee
works for me every morning
I had a very strong-willed child. sm
For starters - if she does leave - I would call the police ASAP and report her as a runaway. Otherwise she is out of the house with your permission and you need to protect yourself from neglect charges. Mine ran away 10-15 times and he was finally taken into juvenile hall and then foster care as he was incorrigible and refused to stay home and we had no control - his choice. He had 3 other siblings who obeyed the rules. Remember you are also responsible for any trouble she gets into while she is out there - stealing, etc. It can get very complicated - not to mention dangerous - so do everytihng you can to protect her and you - the street is no place for a 16 YO
I have heard very strong rumours about what happens
to Sabrina. I will share if you want to know. David is definitely leaving the show. I also think he killed Skye.
Sorry didn't mean to use such strong language
Both were borderline diabetic and had heavy heart disease and strokes in their families. My niece had it done and BS'd her way through it. Easy to con a psychiatrist into thinking your life isn't worth living etc and then they fill out the paperwork for the insurance.
My aunt used to vacuum her cats.
She used to vacuum the cats, and they loved it. Plus, it got the dander off.
I thought it was the aunt. I'm confused now.
What did the grandmother do?
My aunt, who is just like my mother, told me
just this past weekend when her son sells his property, she plans to go live close by him and his new wife of about a year. I was kinda taken aback as she is up in years but always, always has been really self-sufficient and wanted to be. She broke her hip a year or so ago, recovered from that but still has slowed her down tremendously. She wants to continue doing her housework, gathering her groceries, etc. while having to use a rolling walker. I visit her out of state at least every 2-3 months and call probably every week. She would be moving to another state but the distance for me to travel to the other 1 is probably about the same distance I travel to see her now. I know in my heart she would never had said nor made this decision had it not been for her feeling the need to do so. My mother, her sister, has been deceased since the early 90s but she has taken me under her wing and now tells others I am her adopted daughter. She is really precious to me and I appreciate her being in my life.
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