Your aunt's comment....
Posted By: SM on 2007-09-09
In Reply to: Please, any ideas on this?? - I love her but........
''well, the doctors really do not want you to tell them what you think it is or what to do for any ailments.''
I don't understand why you are upset; she was talking about the doctors, not you, and her comment was pretty much right on. Unless I am misunderstanding.
I have some problems, probably fibro or a rheumatoid thing, and am going to doctors now for a workup. I do a LOT of research and I know a lot. But, in my experience so far, if you tell a doctor what you think it is, most will do everything in their power to prove you wrong or will just say no, if they don't think of it first. It's called arrogance and yes a holier than thou attitide.
So I guess I don't understand why this upset you.
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Well I am an aunt and great aunt
I spend a lot of time with my nieces and nephews. Even though divorced still hear from the in-law niece and nephew. I know that they are all different, their likes and dislikes and do something special with them that entails their likes. Not much money but time. Used to do Christmas crafts with them and the older ones over 21 still remember it and the fun we had. Like I have often said it is not the money you spend but the time and knowing that they like, taking an interest in them. When they were little -- especially my great nephews and niece, they would call and say that they needed some "special time" which meant that they wanted time with just them and so no matter what I would have going on I always had them over. I also never broke a promise or a committment to them unless I was on my deathbed and I think that they remember that also. And now that they are older - as am I -- they do more for me -- my 20 year old nephew and his friends took off my paneling and put up sheet rock in my living room, office and kitchen and did not expect pay nothing but lunches and Gator Aid. I tell them aunts are a little special and unique creatures, No matter if a grandparent, foster grandparent, aunt, cousin a lot of these kids just want time spent with them and for you to know them -- it makes them feel special. I am taking my second great nephew to Disneyworld for his graduation -- took his brother to San Francisco. So looking forward to that this summer.
You aunt....
It sounds like you have tried very hard to look out for your aunt and what is in her best interest. Maybe now that her son has seen that someone is trying more to care for her, he may be NOW aware of just how much he really needs to be doing for her. Sometimes it's hard for a child to admit their parent has become so disabled that they need to be taken care of the way their parents used to take care of them, EVERYDAY! I hope your aunt can find a nice place where you can visit with her but of course, your aunt will always love her son dearly and just wants to be close to him like any parent. I just hope he realizes that.
Elderly Aunt
Kimmie-
You are being extremely overly sensitive. Your aunt is elderly - have patience. Continue to be kind and forgive her for what you perceive as rudeness. Save the hurt feelings for things that are really important. 
Dipper
I would think that your aunt would be proud that
a man who was not a child's biological father would take her, love her and raise as his child, grieve when passes away and refers to her as his daughter. My sister and brother-in-law married when my sister's youngest child was 18 months old. That child is now almost 20 and refers to him as "Dad." Her biological father is alive but the relationship is strained because she had a child out of wedlock. The stepfather, however, loves the child that she had and refers to him as his grandson. 
What kind of aunt ?
You should have asked my brother about that. He did not talk with me for the last 5 years of his life because I married a black guy. He also decided to keep his children away from me. That was his decision. That was what he wanted. The SIL remarried, took her children away, had no contact with my mother hardly, their maternal grandmother (the mother of her husband, remember), no contact with the great maternal aunt of these children. Now go back and ask again what kind of aunt was I?
My aunt used to vacuum her cats.
She used to vacuum the cats, and they loved it. Plus, it got the dander off.
I thought it was the aunt. I'm confused now.
What did the grandmother do?
My aunt, who is just like my mother, told me
just this past weekend when her son sells his property, she plans to go live close by him and his new wife of about a year. I was kinda taken aback as she is up in years but always, always has been really self-sufficient and wanted to be. She broke her hip a year or so ago, recovered from that but still has slowed her down tremendously. She wants to continue doing her housework, gathering her groceries, etc. while having to use a rolling walker. I visit her out of state at least every 2-3 months and call probably every week. She would be moving to another state but the distance for me to travel to the other 1 is probably about the same distance I travel to see her now. I know in my heart she would never had said nor made this decision had it not been for her feeling the need to do so. My mother, her sister, has been deceased since the early 90s but she has taken me under her wing and now tells others I am her adopted daughter. She is really precious to me and I appreciate her being in my life.
Just read your post and my aunt the other day
was saying exactly what you were saying, was there not a good place that I could go to for a diagnosis on what my problems are. I do not know of a place like this at all. I can self-refer myself to a physician and usually do as I know about as much as the people I run into in the offices. After all my years of typing on all kinds of diseases, treatments and such, I do not need a person say 30 or more years younger than me to explain a diagnosis to me. I am sure I could tell them more than they could tell me. Just went to an urgent care place today for 1 of my problems and refused to weigh- the person taking history said I would have to because they would have to know my weight in order to give medication. I told them most medicines I know come in say 10, 15, 20 mg and I never weigh at any office and I see nephrologist, general, endocrinologist, etc. I refused to weigh, still got to see the physician and guess what, nothing prescribed! I probably have been in the medical field longer than this person on earth. on well, enough venting for the night.
My elderly aunt has just gotten 2 red marks
right under her eyes and she tried to see a physician today but was unable to, any thoughts on what this could be? She says bright red spots under both eyes.
Oh, I'm so sorry. I remember my aunt calling (sm)
to tell my mother that her boss had died. He was like a member of the extended family and the first person whom I knew well to die. I was maybe 11 or 12 and I can remember it like it was yesterday. I can only imagine your pain.
Sounds like you are indeed a Great aunt!
nm
carpal tunnel maybe......my aunt described
xx
I have an aunt that has it and she has to watch her sodium, did your sm
doctor tell you about that? (stay away from high sodium food).
We went to my husband's aunt's house once...
and they were having a get together because his uncle was dying of lung cancer. In rolls his three sisters and brother, all with their oxygen tanks and cannulas that they would have to take off to have their cigarettes. I found it fairly ironic and that is when I decided to quit smoking. Not the cancer, not the emphysema, but the ridiculousness of seeing people who can't breath because of smoking taking off what helps them to breath so that they can smoke. At any rate, I am not sure that I really have a point, just something that is interesting to me.
Did you at least show concern for her aunt?
See, when I read this, the first thing that jumped out was this woman had an aunt IN THE HOSPITAL HAVING TESTS DONE.
I hope while you were in the process of berating her grasp of the fine art of pronouncing various words that you at least inquired as to the welfare of her aunt.
I'm sure the woman had more on her mind under these circumstances than making sure she cleaned up her grammatical skills.
My aunt reported a Walmart employee
who left the ladies' room without washing her hands.
My aunt, kids grandmother, dads Mom.
Sorry for the confusion.
My aunt is elderly but her husband used to drink
This was the love of her life and they had a child together. They both worked, lived with her mother to help her out on bills after her husband died and everything except his drinking went ok. After finding him in ditches, getting DUIs, passing out and the like, nothing worked. After probably 20 something years my aunt divorced him because she knew he probably would kill himself, kill someone else or something horrible. It wasn’t that she didn’t love him but just could not live like that. That was over 40-50 years ago. She still speaks of him fondly (he died in another state in a ditch but had her phone number in his pocket) but I am sure she thought she always made the right decision. Myself, I just would not want to go through that, too much else to keep me busy. Thank goodness no children for you- would be really hard to subject a child to that.
Going to my aunt & uncle's house as usual
My husband, my parents, and I all drive down to my aunt and uncle's house every year. We usually bring something like pumpkin and/or apple pie.
You are comparing your aunt's boss to someone's child?
Sorry, just an odd response. There is nothing that compares to the loss of one's child. My heart goes out to the other poster.
Get this, older aunt of mine, DIL called and said if anything happens
to her- can you give me a call, in other words when she dies. This aunt is also great aunt to my son- I asked the DIL why don't you go to see her now (she is in middle 80s)- always an excuse, no car, no this, no that. She lives driving distance, about 170 miles from here. Just pitiful is all I can say- I visit her every 3-4 months and call her weekly.
Don't throw me down, Clark. I won't, Aunt Bethany
Geezus, you couldn't hear a dump truck driving through a nitroglycerin plant.
Can I refill your eggnog for you? Get you something to eat? Drive you out to the middle of nowhere and leave you for dead?
(Christmas Vacation)
My aunt married a guy 28 years older
than her with 4 children, 2 older than her. (his 1st wife died when their youngest was 4, 10 years previously). They were married for 37 years, had 2 kids of their own, and everything worked for them, marired until he died. She and his family got along great, her parents on the other hand, had a rough time dealing with it until their 1st child was born.
My aunt went in the hospital for heart problems...sm
While in there they posted a sign on the door that said contagious or something to that effect. Well the family was like what does she have. The nurse said MRSA. They were like what? She has no symptoms. So later the doctor came in and explained she was a CARRIER of MRSA. She herself would never get symptoms of it cause she was immune due to being a carrier. But she can pass it on. I had never heard of this before and still don't understand it completely. It happened though.
Your aunt is a wise woman, and she is a strong person
for being a Pastor's wife. For some reason, Pastors seem to be the most difficult to understand about how to be sensitive to people, when it is their job to do so. No offense to pastors and to my husband. But when I loved him best when he delivered pizza and Sunday mornings I still feel put off. And those are the mornings I am probably the most up in arms about this control issue. I dont think that is what the Bible meant either. Thanks for your comment. Your aunt also sounds like she was a great example to women and men alike as the pastor's wife. :)
My husband's Aunt Delores, because she always tells everyone she loves them (nm)
x
Both my mom and aunt have had very good success with it. My mom, smoker for over 40 years, quit cold
turkey and says Chantix is the best drug out there - she tried everything!
I see that there are mixed feelings about this drug as with all drugs. Works for some and doesn't work that well with others. Sorry to hear about their experience!
Guess talking with dying aunt over daughter just shouldn’t happen
Yes I did say disconnect (have thought about that for some time just due to the excessive amount spent on land phone though and daughter suggested disconnecting also to save $$$) the fuss was the fact about others assumming something. I took what I considered to be the more important of the 2 calls- basically I talk with the daughter every week several times and the aunt - well what would most do?
You're aunt is bully, plain and simple and I would just stop visiting.
but I will tell you this, most mothers are going to voice their opinions to their kids about how they did things compared to out YOU do things. I think it's in the mother by-laws somewhere. :) My mother constantly tells me I'm too soft with my kids and I am. My mother was a strict disciplinarian similar to your aunt when I was a kid. Spankings were routine and generally with the belt or the fly swatter or any other object handy. That's why I'm so soft.
I let me mother know early on after I became a mother, that my kids are MY KIDS. She can give me advice and I'll always listen, but I will make the final decision on how and when to discipline my children and I and ONLY I (and DH too of course) will dole out any discipline necessary. Nobody else has permission to spank my children, EVER!
My mom and I get along pretty good now. I accept that she will be nosy and pushy and she accepts that I will ignore her and not call for a few days when she gets on my nerves.
I would just suggest being honest with your aunt and letting her know that you think you're a good mother, your DH thinks your a good mother and that your kids are doing fine and behave fine and if she doesn't think so, then she doesn't need to see the kids.
Your comment
about checking BC pills will probably draw a lot of fire about teenage sex, etc. However, my daughter's 17-year-old friend just had a baby 3 weeks ago. They had unprotected sex ONCE and she got pregnant. This was a very smart girl, ranked #1 in the class academically, churchgoer, not a drinker, no drugs. She is now missing out on her senior year and all the hoopla, taking classes at home to get her diploma, and raising a baby. It is too late to say she should have abstained, this is the reality of the situation and all concerned are making the best of it. So I say keep checking those BC pills, Mom!
about the comment
I lived in a trailer park for 11 years, and to those who felt offense, I apologize. I know from first-hand experience that not everyone who lives in a trailer or a trailer park is trashy, but there are enough that someone created the saying. This neighbor happens to fit whatever criteria associated with the comment. I didn't live trashy when I lived in trailers, or any apartment I've been in, or in any home, either. It's an attitude and lifestyle that fits the comment...not everyone fits the comment.
Oh, by the way, add to your comment here
The "preachers kids are always the very worst!" You have heard that I am sure.
Well, guess what I am married to a Pastor, I am a Pastor's wife and these are my children who we are talking about. So I guess you can add that to your list of gripes. LOL.
Thank you for you comment.......sm
and I wish you all the best.
People who think that they can deliberately destroy their lives, are inconsiderate, selfish and unthankful towards people who love them.
Self-destruction is a sin, because it is a slow suicide.
Whenever she makes a comment that you
suspect is made as a dig, try smiling pleasantly and saying, "What?" and waiting for a reply. If she is trying to be mean and trying to slip it by everybody else, she may not be willing to explain what she meant. If you do it every time, not quite hearing or understanding those comments, you will tire her out because her zing didn't hit.
That's what I am looking for- opinions from others. Thank you for your comment.
:)
Your comment about an old HS bad apple -
made me laugh, reminds me of a guy I went to school. He used to sell T-shirts at concerts (the fake one's, not put out by the performer/band); was high most of the time; now he is a copyright attorney - talk about ironic.
Was the flea comment really necessary?
Another comment about harnesses
Our neighbor was walking his dog with just a collar and leash. The dog was so hyper it it jumped and in the process broke his neck. If he had a harness on this would not have happened. It was totally heartbreaking.
do not let him anger you with this comment
he feels this way because you make more money than him, and after that comment, I would calmly and confidently remind him of that whenever you need to, maybe daily. Also, sit his dumb___ down and make him type one sentence of a hard provider, then calmly and confidently talk down to him and tell him he would never be able to do your job. Calm and confident. Do not ever again let him make you feel that way.
I don't understand the comment
"knowing the girls these days" can you elaborate?
I understand the comment very well
I think a lot of girls now completely out there with their dressing, suggestiveness, forwardness, aggressiveness. I guess trying to keep up with the guys. When you see a prison population go from mostly male to more females than ever, does that not tell you something?
I understood the comment, too
That's why I thought it was offensive.
Comment on Alli
I'm 45 and started Alli the weekend it came out in mid-June. I weighed about 185 at the time. This morning, I weighed 163. It's been a slow, steady loss. I haven't had any of the "treatment effects" that are talked about with Alli. Just the threat of those treatment effects if you eat too much fat and take Alli are enough... it teaches you to watch your fat grams, which makes you also reduce calories. I haven't felt deprived in the least, but I've learned to eat healthier, less fat, smaller portions. I've been using Lean Cuisine or Smart Ones for my quickie meals, and eating lots of rice, veggies, fruit, whole grains, lean meats. I have lost 20 plus pounds doing Atkins in the past, but gained it all back plus about 10 more. Over the winter, I was the highest ever.. up at about what I was when 9 months pregnant! I feel so much better right now, and I feel confident that when this bottle of Alli runs out, I probably could go without because in these 3 months I've developed habits that I can stick with. Good luck!
What a strange comment.
You were able to discern that from my post? I find THAT strange!
Actually, your assumptions are quite wrong.
I will say a prayer for you, that God may grace you with wisdom and patience.
why the comment about the jocks? nm
!
I had to laugh at this comment sm
when my hubby and I saw her on the TV I just said "Well she obviously doesn't have any friends....cause a true friend would tell her how terrible her eyebrows look."
Very moving - see comment
Very moving, touching, sad, proud, thankful, greatful. There are not enough words to thank all the soldiers fighting for us. I was in the miliary some years ago and this brings back so many memories of why I joined. I can't thank enough these people who fight for our freedom and for freedom for others. I still have a lump in my throat from watching this video. What a wonderful tribute to the soldiers this 15-year-old did in making this.
Probably because that's a stupid comment?
Too bad this wasn't your first comment
to her instead of the rudeness above.
barefoot comment
Did a foot doc tell you that's why your arches fell? My foot doc told me years ago the best thing you can always do is go barefoot when you can and otherwise wear ballet type slippers around the house and flats otherwise. She said women have ruined their feet with heels (I know my mom did.) I'm 65 and am barefoot in the house almost all the time. Hope you footsies stay comfy, though!
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