You started out with an ethical dilemma and
Posted By: below you revealed info about him on 2009-04-01
In Reply to: There was no hidden agenda to it -- - our butt - nm
and a medical center. Will you be reporting your friend out of moral duty for sharing the fact that he was at a medical facility? I believe his privacy rights assure him that his business or appts at a medical facility are protected? Who are you kidding? I've volunteered for many years and there are parents like you in every bunch. The sad part, they always involve the kids and they are the ones who lose.
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I agree with moral principal and ethical value
Yes! Our leader should have those without a doubt.
Christmas dilemma sm
As the guy's parents, I can tell you that we "settle" for Christmas Eve so the DIL's can enjoy their "real parents" and the kids their "real grandparents" and we have done this for years. We usually spend Christmas Day alone like two homeless people. But we do this for the sake of our DIL's and have never complained. Sorry, but my vote is to say, "Gee, Mom and Dad, since you can't come to my hubby's parents, I hope you enjoy the movie(s) I rented for you and there's some popcorn and whatever you want to drink to go with it. We are SO looking forward to tomorrow with you guys! Are you sure you won't join us this evening?? Then it's up to them -- jeepers, what are you supposed to do? Your husband has a right to honor his parent(s) as well. Been there, suffered through it, don't be in the middle of the holiday sandwich. Cut the holiday in neat sections, and enjoy yourselves. Some day they'll all be gone and you will only have memories. Don't rain on anyone's parade, just be fair. If it were not for your husband's parents, you would not have a husband! Perhaps your parents don't realize it, but they should bend a little to help you out and help your husband's parents enjoy what little time they have to preserve memories for their family members.Sorry, but this really gets to me, since I am the MIL and "bend" until it hurts. Think out of the box, please.
I've been in this dilemma
once where I was already half way through something and then realized I needed something (an egg I think) and I couldnt bring myself to do it. So I went to the store.
I know of AT LEAST 4 people I know wouldnt think anything of it, and probably more than that, but I would never. I just cant.
Sorry to hear of your dilemma......
that's a rough one to deal with. Wish I could offer you advice but you are in a tight spot. Hope your son is able to have his graduation on his special night!!
I am having a similar dilemma
I just do not know what to do . . . I have two sons, 14 and 12. My 12-year-old has Asperger's syndrome. We have left them together a very few times during the day for short periods of time, but I have not been comfortable with this at all, and I feel that if we do it on a regular basis, something is going to happen. In the past, I always said that I did not feel that it was fair to my older son to have to be responsible for the younger one because of some of the behavior associated with his disability. He is very smart, and we had been getting his behavior under control until some issues with the school that are out of our control have caused some extreme behavior issues again. Not to mention that with my older son in his first year of high school, he has been getting into some things that I'd rather he didn't, which I discovered when I hacked his MySpace, and I feel that they need me here almost more than they would have at a younger age. I am feeling pressure from my husband, my mother (who does not live nearby), and our financial situation to get a job outside of the house, but I am so worried about what might happen I just do not know what to do. My husband also just started a business that he needs my help with on weekends, and for the first weekend he worked by himself (and realized he needed me there), the next weekend his mother kept the boys, and this past weekend they spend the night with a nearby family who cannot do that for us every weekend. His mother also is not willing to keep them every weekend, which really bothers me because my husband is her only son and she has always been the only one to keep our children for us, which I appreciate even though I have never asked her to and it has always been on her terms, not at our request so that we could go out or anything, but I feel like her schedule would permit her to help us for a short time and considering that it was always just her and my husband (his dad passed away when he was very young), I guess I just would have expected her to be willing to help in our current circumstances.
I just realized that I hijacked your post and am writing a novel. Please forgive me, I am just very stressed about this. As for your situation, I feel it is more of an individual child situation. As others have pointed out, you just can't trust anyone these days. We live in a nice area, but about a year ago a neighbor on another street of our subdivision put a flyer on all of our mailboxes informing us of a break in at his home at what he referred to as "high noon". He had gone to Home Depot, and when he returned home there were two men in his home, opening his gun case. I assume it was not loaded, but he stated that there was a struggle between him and them, while several other neighbors watched, and they finally took off. You just never know what is going to happen, and I don't know how I would handle a scary situation such as that myself, much less my children. Although I have seen a few cases on t.v. where very young children have kept their cool and remained level-headed in extreme situations and done what needed to be done. Sorry, I'm rambling again. Good luck with whatever you decide.
If anyone has any thoughts on my situation, I'd love to hear those too (given that mine are a little older, but the special needs child . . . just wondering if anyone agrees with my husband and mom or with my feelings of nervousness). TIA!
I have a new dilemma and need advice - sm
It appears my DH is going to be laid off which obviously is a serious issue. We borrowed $40K from his 401K to pay off his cc and I have 3/5 of mine on hardship and caught the other two up. We will just not pay back the loan which we did decide when we took it IF he lost his job over the next 5 years and will pay the penalities (somehow). However if he does lose his job I will have to do bankruptcy, the one where it wipes most of it out as there is no way we can keep our home otherwise (Chapter 7). I am not on the house title so they cannot take the house. I can bring in about $1900 a month if I work really hard....make about $15-1700 now. Our bills come to about $3500, $900 of that is my cc payments though which even w/o we still won't have enough or won't once unemployment runs out which I have a feeling he'd only get 12 weeks worth, but he'd get about $380 a week which is great and at least would pay the mortgage. Obviously a better MT job would be in order and fantastic to have. I am good at what I do but don't make enough doing it. I may have to find an employee position as we will need health insurance too....I am IC now and he had the insurance. I will of course do some major economizing, cancel the newspaper subscription, the satellite radio, possibly the sateliite TV or at least downgrade it, cancel the 2 phone lines we have and just use my Tracfone or get a cheap cell plan. I am sure there is more I can do, just cannot think of them right now. Some things I just cannot cancel like our life insurance, kid's college plans (prepaid plans), but that would all be covered by the unemployment and by being a bit frugal I think I can get our $1600 a month in expenses (food, electric, TV, phone, etc.) down to $1200 if I really tried, but still short $2-400....once the unemployment would run out. I fear my DH will become severely depressed and not look for a job as well. He is in a kind of specialed field and only has a 2-year technical degree. He's worked for the same company for 29 years so his resume won't look that impressive though he is good at what he does. ----on the bankruptcy note, what happens? Do they come to your house and inspect your "belongings", most of the stuff in the house is his actually or were gifts from his parents to the both of us (all the bedroom furniture worth about $5K). Or do you just fill out forms and they take your word for it? Do they investiage you, etc? I have over $10K in jewelry but most of it were gifts and some of my moms and therefore sentimental and I don't want to have to "declare" and have sold off. I know you are allowed to keep wedding rings as long as they are worth less than $2000, which mine are worth about $2050 (retail) so I should be safe there. There are two things we have that they would consider assets which my name is on ---land (paid $22K, worth maybe $50K) and my car which is worth $10K....I saw something that said you can only keep your car if it is worth less than $2K. So if that is the case I would remove my name from the car and the land titles in order to avoid declaring them as we may need to sell them anyway to pay our house off which is my biggest concern, having a roof over our heads and not losing the house. The market is dead here to trying to sell would be difficult. We would make enough to pay off the house and my cc if we did it, and have 20-30% to put down on a new house but there is no way anyone would give us another mortgage if my DH is unemployed, granted we could rent but have 2 dogs, a cat, 2 rabbits and 2 hamsters so the pets make it difficult and there is no way I am giving them up (except for maybe the rabbits). ----If I could I say sell the house, get a trailer and put it on our property, however there are "rules" there and putting a trailer is not allowed, they even frown on modulars, which are a step up from the manufactured homes and single/double-wide homes, though that has been done (the modular that is). Kids would be in a different school district though and we would have to pay to keep them where they are as the schools where we would be stink. So any pointers on how/what to economize to cut costs? (and or increase income other than working 23/24 hours a day). I am open to any and all suggestions. However if you have nothing good or nice or constructive to say then don't say it, I really don't need any more negativity right now.
Haven't started shopping yet, but have started saving $$$
Don't have an awful lot yet, but both hubby and I are doing it (separate accounts) so we should have a good amount when we combine. My goal is to start shopping in September after my daughter's birthday and finish by Thanksgiving. That's my goal. I have never reached it! Maybe this year!
And FYI, the thread we are posting in right now was one I started, you started the earlier one. nm
x
I haven't started yet, but have started my lists.
The only reason I haven't started yet is because of $$$. But I have started some good lists for the kids and the DH. I actually have some good ideas for him this year (he is hard to buy for).
I'm like you, I love Christmas but hate the commercialism of it. We were at Costco a while back looking for Halloween costumes and they already had their Christmas stuff out. They always make me feel like I'm already late on my shopping!
I may do a lot of online shopping this year. It's easier with little ones. My 2yo is more aware this year so taking him with me to buy his own presents is out. Darn!
It always seems that Halloween (my favorite) takes forever to get here, but once it's over, then the holiday rush is on.
Happy Holidays everyone!
My DD started at age 4, with sm
combo ballet and tap lessons, I think it was twice a week. The teacher was great, very encouraging, and did not give them more than they could handle. She loved practicing her steps at home. And, my heart be still, the recitals were just, well, thrilling. Adorable girls, in adorable outfits. Flowers galore from all the parents. It was so much fun for everyone. Of course, there were missteps, but they were absolutely charming. She continued until about 11, when she got interested in other things.
I just started again...
I used to do some kind of activity every day a few years ago and then got away from it and the wait has just packed on. So, I am back at it again. I have several Walk Away the Pounds DVDs (if you can ignore Leslie's annoying commentary, they are great) and if it's nice like it was last week here in central PA, I walk about a mile or so. One day last week, I did both. I want to get back into some light weights and also have a beginning yoga DVD.
Don't get me started :)
I have theories on the Jack/Claire connection too.
That was me until I started new job!
nm
OMG don't get me started!
Even my local newspaper gives me headaches. They're suppose to have proofreaders and have supposedly won awards and such but they definitely didn't get it for spelling. Maybe the ones giving them the awards can't spell either LOL
For example one year during the basketball season they misspelled "guard" the entire year. They would spell it "gaurd". Typos are certainly acceptable once in a while, I even had a typo once (ha ha) but this is an ongoing thing and not just with my newspaper, I see it on ABCnews.com all the time.
Why don't they Spellcheck? It won't catch all errors but it'll certainly catch all the obviously mispelled ones! 
Oh don't even get me started.
Your story sounds sooooo much like mine. My husband and I married when his son was 5 or 6 and it was/has been a nightmare being his step-parent. I know my stepson was just a child when his parents divorced and he was probably hurting inside (his mom is a piece of work, that's for sure; she had little to no contact with him all these years).
I think my husband always felt sorry for his son because he was just like your husband--didn't discipline him. He always would justify why his son did something wrong or fix whatever it was himself so that his son didn't have to. His son called me horrible names (mostly when he was a teen), ignored me, said cruel things to me, destroyed things in our house, stole, started a fire from carelessness, and so on. He would lie to you without a second thought.
I had him in counseling for a while hoping it would help. I was at my wit's end. I knew we needed help. My husband never drove his son to the appointments, only I did. Husband never attended. It got to where my stepson was angry at ME for making him go, and eventually I gave up the fight and we stopped (it didn't seem to help anyway).
At one of the counseling appointments he told the counselor out right that *I* was the reason his parents divorced!!! HEllo! I didn't meet his dad until AFTER the divorce was final and his mother had already been re-married! I don't know what dream world he was living in, but it certainly wasn't reality!
Long story short, this kid hated me, and I didn't know how to deal with him. I had kids of my own with his dad and then had to protect them from my stepson because he would act out and hurt them if I wasn't careful.
This kid is now 18, dropped out of high school, and has been arrested. He doesn't get along with anyone, few friends, and still hates me. He still lives in our house and his father STILL protects him, treating him as a "buddy" instead of a parent.
I wish I had advice for you. My only real advice I suppose is NOT to have kids with your husband until you're sure you can make it work, or else you're in for a LOT of years of anguish. This is honestly the biggest issue my husband and I have--his son. It has caused me to run off to my parent's house a couple of times, huge screaming matches, my threatening to leave, and so on.
Lord knows I've tried with this kid, but without the husband's help, it's meaningless.
OH sigh......I could go on all night. Just, well, good luck.
So, I started
the new job today. Drove to my new place of employment. DH also worked today. Got home to DH glaring at the ottoman that Bear ATE.
Bear is not big on my working outside the house, apparently. I wish duct tape came in dark brown ...
that's what started it all
I tried to explain to her that I couldn't get off for a shower up there - and reminded her of what I am up against in terms of money - get this - my gutter is duct taped to my house. SIL accused me of making her cry and making her miserable. Heck - my daughter and I cry at commercials!. I've been crying all morning because of the poster below's cat remembering my cats. After he berated me in a way I don't think any son/daughter or in-law should to a mother I decided I needed an apology before I made any more contact with them. I was even going to take my vacation when the baby came to help cook and clean and do whatever they needed and they knew that. Not like I wasn't giving them everything I could.
The one that SS started.
FURTHERMORE (I should NOT have started . . .)
The cardiologists and hospitalists that took care of my mother quite appreciated that I knew her baseline EF, that she had chf, and could give a very detailed medical history to them and knew what they were talking about when my mother could not give them that info last summer . . . AND when I mentioned to my doc one time that I thought I had restless leg syndrome (which yea, I did) during my pregnancy he said, "how'd you hear about that already? Oh yea, I forgot you're an MT." So it just depends on who ya talk to.
That's what I started doing, too
I had 3 kids in school in various activities at any time of the school year and they were always selling stuff. I finally just started writing a check for $20 or whatever and sending it in. Much easier.
I started WW 4 weeks ago...
I actually NEVER cook. My kids are picky eaters, and they both are picky about different things, so we eat mostly TV dinners.
With WW, you can eat anything. You calculate "points" based on calories, fiber, and fat grams. You get a certain amount of points each day based on your weight. You also get 35 cheat points per week. If you are still hungry, you can earn points by exercising.
In 4 weeks, I've lost 6.6 pounds and I haven't felt like I was dieting even once. I wish I would have done their program years ago.
If you do cook, you can go on their website and use E-Tools to calculate points. You can enter your own recipe into the online calculator, and it will tell you how many points it is.
Right now they have a special where you don't have to pay the initial start-up fee and you get free E-Tools for $40 a month. That's what I'm doing now, and I plan to stay at it until I lose all the weight.
Good luck with whichever program you decide.
Just started Atkins
I started Atkins 2 weeks ago and have lost 9 lbs. Now before someone tries to burst my bubble I know it is mostly water weight. Is anyone else on here using atkins? By the way my starting weight is 390 I am 6ƈ''. Everyone have a great day.
Started to google but when I saw going here and going there
just decided not gonna read all that. First of all I think you and only you make your life happy or sad, good or bad. I do good for others and it comes back to me, always but I do because I want to, not have to. Life is in our hands and ours alone, not our husband, children, other family members.
I'm not the one who started the thread but
I posted a reply on another thread about infidelity. I told the poster that what she was doing was wrong, to take a cold shower and pray about what was doing.
Regina (yeah, she uses her name in her entire email address) emailed me about how wrong I was, don't have a conscience, and stuff.
I saw her name here on this thread.
I'm just telling her to STOP EMAILING ME.
My son started having migraines by 4..........sm
We didn't know that's what was going on at the time, but realized migraines were the problem. He played sports and these things would hit him out of the blue, sometimes brought on by being out in the bright light and just running a lot. We would put him in a dark dark room with no sounds. A cold pack really helped to shrink the vessels and would have to wait it out. An anti-inflammatory like Aleve might work better, but I would check with doc first because of her age. He's 20 now, but still gets one from time to time, mostly brought on by being out in the bright light for a long time, like when he's playing soccer or anything that keeps him outdoors in the light for long periods of time. Stress can bring them on also, even though there are docs out there that still say stress doesn't play a part.......yea, right!!! Obviously, they've never had a migraine. So sorry she's having to deal with this.
to each his/her own...started w/Lexmark 12 yrs ago
and different HP types, first was inkjet, deskjet, and now a laser of theirs (which I love and was very affordable but I chose no color this time as I only need black-white).
Like I said, to each his or her own regarding technical equipment; nobody's right and nobody's wrong. Being online 12+ years, I simply prefer Hewlett Packard printers (only). I would not buy their computer systems though.
Have a GREAT week!
I just started watching B&B
ever since Constantine joined the cast. The writers seem to like these storylines. Something similar happened on Days of Our Lives.
Well, the publicity started before her
and just continues on an apparently nontalented made up Hollywood celebrity. Her grandfather married Zaa-Zaa Gabor and Elizabeth Taylor was married to her paternal uncle so the swirl continues, and to not know Paris I would think is just another person being kept too sheltered.
I have no problems at all getting started
It's the middle and end I have difficulty with. After about half a day, I'm mentally exhausted and can't concentrate. This just started a couple of months ago and been working in MT field for years, but now at home for about the last 2 years. I agree with burnout and boredom. It has to be up there in the top ten list of most boring jobs, don't you think?
Melatonin - just started using (sm)
I just started using melatonin for sleep - had been using Benadryl every night. Guess what? I have had unrefreshing sleep for so long - this stuff has helped me so much. I think I have had a deficiency. I have felt so good two days in a row after using this stuff for sleep. I only slept about 6 hours last night but it was the best sleep I've had in years so I feel great. There are tons of web sites about the deficiency symptoms if anyone thinks they may need it. I just can't believe after all this time a $5 bottle of melatonin from the grocery store has helped me this much!
Any new medications started?
Blood pressure meds can cause all kinds of weird things.
Effexor and others can cause some weird things too for some people. And so can getting off some medications, even if you tapered off at a rate that should have been reasonable.
I hope it doesn't take long before they track down some benign culprit that they can correct.
If it is anxiety, I learned a lot from relaxation training using biofeedback. It was very helpful, so even that can be overcome in a systematic way.
Hubba started also here on Gab
If she is on the other, did not know. Yes, I know the names above, not new to this board, see it frequently, way past schooling for this lady. Thanks anyway.
My mom told us when we started to ask - sm
I was 8 and my older brother 10. My other brother was 13 but he never sat in on these talks, presume he already knew. I remember sitting in the kitchen with her and her telling us how babies were made. I did not fully comprehend until I was about 10 but had the gist of things. I say if they are asking, tell them, it does not mean they are going to run out and try to do it, they are just curious. My 2 know that you have to have sex to make a baby, though they are still not too sure what that is (they are 7 and 9) I have explained in basics to them already though they don't quite grasp it yet, but in time they will understand just as I did. I am doing more the "period" talk now as my 9-year-old is wondering a lot about that.
Even if I started out small
do you think I would need all that legal stuff - licenses, health inspections? At first I was hoping to make money "under the table" so to speak. I don't want to be a large corporation because it would be just me baking so don't think I could handle that much.
No I havent started it yet.
:
Just started a few months ago
And I love it. It's very easy to deal with, since you brush on such a tiny bit at a time. I start with the big brush, then use the middle one to go over where I need more coverage. If you have very dry skin, I can see where it might be a problem, but that's not me. I do try to avoid putting it on heavily where I have crow's feet around my eyes, because I think maybe it does make them more prominent.
And don't let that video scare you - they make it look like you'd be putting on 40 coats of this stuff or something. I just use the basic color, some of the warmth and then the mineral veil. I don't think you need anything more.
I started working around 6 a.m.
It's just about 8 now. If it weren't my weekend to work, I would still be in bed, no doubt about it! Not a morning person. Need my ZZZZZZZZs.
I had started thinking
after telling my husband about it, he said that he would have smarted off at her. And obviously after reading what everyone has said, something should be done. I don't know that she is necessarily picking on my daughter, but they had homework the other day to draw a gingerbread man to put up at the school as posters. Well, my daughter worked diligently on hers and it turned out adorable, and the day it was to be turned in, I checked her folder, and there it was. Her homework. I took her to school today and there were other posters up everywhere that other children had done. It is THEIR JOB to double-check her folder IMO. Being only 5, she could have forgotten that it was there! I am definitely going to send a warning letter to the teacher in the morning, before it gets any more ridiculous than it has.
agreed. He's probably the one that got her started
on whatever crap she's been taking. He seems like an enabler, taping her while she was enbriated (huh???...I love the Soup)
I quilt, or I did before started MT.
I made a full size quilt and am hand quilting it. Have PVC frame and love to quilt, but not like I have time now. It is sooo relaxing. I do know people that send them out, however. Would think quilt shop could refer you to someone. You also have the option of tying the quilt, with the little knots of yarn or floss. You can Google this to get an idea how they look. As far as hand quilting, I use the stab method but most use the rocking method. Again google if unclear what these are. A baby quilt is a good size to start on. Machine quilting is tricky cause can end up with a bunch of material at the end of a line of machine quilting. A walking foot helps with this problem. My second mother was a prodigious quilter and was a huge help. If you can find someone to mentor you, maybe through the quilt shop, it would help. Oh yeah, and a quilt quild or club would be a big help. Again, quilt shop should be able to help you find one.
I have one who started out my neighbor
and became my best friend. She just moved about 5 miles away about a month ago and I miss her already. We used to see each other every day and didn't even have to knock on each other's doors. I miss her coming over in the middle of the night when I was working with hot chocolate. We can talk about everything. Our children are best friends. It's definitely not the same with her not right across the street. Our other neighbor said that neighbors can't be friends, but in my instance it couldn't be further from the truth. We're like family. We go out to dinner almost every Saturday night, and our family's have vacationed together. The spring and summer months will be the worst since we used to see each other every day. I'm really lucky to have her in my life. I wish everyone had someone like her.
I started this at age 19 -- 25 years ago
I don't know where the time has gone. So many companies, so many lines. My advise: Break it up, work two hours, then take a bubble bath. Work two more and then go to the beach. Get the kid to bed, then type two more. It's the only way I hold on to a semblance of sanity.
Realize that we are free from people, no boss breathing down your neck, free to go on field trips, free to take a nap in the middle of the day if we so choose. We're able to be there when anyone needs us. The best thing about this mundane, tedious job is the freedom.
At this point I wish I had never started SM
coloring my hair because it is too difficult to stop. Over the counter products simply don't work or hold if your hair is all gray or white. I am tired of paying every 4-5 weeks at the salon, but my hair grows so quickly that the white roots against the medium/dark brown hair just looks awful. Don't know what to do either. Good luck. I guess I am just not ready to look much older!
It started out with the final four SM
Katee, Courtney, Joshua and Twitch. Then they did the first elimination, which was Courtney and the second was Katee.
Then down to the final TWO: Joshua and Twitch.
JOSHUA IS THE FINAL WINNER!!!! $250,000 PRIZE!
I dearly loved Twitch too! When Joshua won Twitch hugged him and he held up Joshua's arms!!!
When I first started out 20 years ago.
When I would tell the doctor I was a transcriptionist, he would ask if I wanted a job! I worked vacation relief and maternity leave in doctor offices, all the jobs gotten by a visit to the doctor. Wish it was that easy these days!
My mom started working again when -sm
I was 10. But I had two older brothers, 13 and 15, so that really was not a problem, and my walk off the bus was the corner of my yard to the front door. I was about 15 I guess before I was actually alone afterschool. I have a similar dilemma, but mine are 8 and 10 and IF I get this job I am applying to will probably pay a neighbor down the road to watch them for the 90 minutes I need them watched. They get off the bus with another boy (also 10) but don't think the mom will also want to watch mine until I get home, though I guess I could ask, she is always looking for extra cash. What to do for Spring break, X-mas break, Summer is my big problem. But all in all I think a 3rd grader is a bit young to have alone, the youngest I would consider I think for a short period of time is 10. Most states are 12 though. Good luck.
Please do not get me started about Tampa.
You would never know I edit reports because you stated in the first posting your husband raised in Tampa. It has been a long day already. My husband also raised in Tampa. We were there last year and there were barbecue joints all over the place. If I were there I would "pig out" (no pun intended) on all those joints. I would have to try first and then the other. You are so lucky!
I was in a meeting that had not started
Not in front of others, she was across from me, 1:1, not on a stage, no others around.
Anyone started their Xmas shopping yet?
I was at the mall last night and noticed how every store already has their Christmas decorations up. I hate the Christmas season and love it at the same time. I love the beauty of it and hate the commercialism and stressing about what to buy as gifts. Besides, my kids have everything they could possibly need anyway ! 
I agree! I usually do too though haven't started yet.
Is there still time if I shop online this weekend (re shipping) you think?
I agreed with you until I started thinking about it....
When my daughter has her immunizations, I didn't sit her down and explain to her what each one was for. We do not have to explain to her that she can now have sex with multiple partners and be protected. We can simply say it is suppose to protect her from a certain type of cancer. What makes me MORE nervous is what will the side effects be ten years from now......I'm going to wait and see what my doctor recommends. I don't live in Texas...Just a thought.
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