You sound like a very wise person and I a glad to that
Posted By: sm on 2007-04-09
In Reply to: I recently had a talk with my ex - about the spoiling - sm
he did understand. Over-the-top is never good. Not for an adult and certainly not for a child. A gift with meaning and purpose is more cherished than a trunk load of junk and will be remembered, not thrown away.
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You are wise and a very good person (sm)
Your daughter and granddaughter are very lucky to have you, especially your granddaughter.
Everything you said is true.
The best thing I ever did for my kids after divorce was never to say an unkind word about their father, never put them in the middle, and the parade of frogs was a definite no-no!
Your advice was excellent. You SHOULD write a book!! As many divorces as there are any more, you would think this issue would have more emphasis in some form of media.
Your aunt is a wise woman, and she is a strong person
for being a Pastor's wife. For some reason, Pastors seem to be the most difficult to understand about how to be sensitive to people, when it is their job to do so. No offense to pastors and to my husband. But when I loved him best when he delivered pizza and Sunday mornings I still feel put off. And those are the mornings I am probably the most up in arms about this control issue. I dont think that is what the Bible meant either. Thanks for your comment. Your aunt also sounds like she was a great example to women and men alike as the pastor's wife. :)
I think that is a wise choice. So glad
you brought dad into this! It is just too much for one - I know because I was the only one.
You sound like a wonderful person. Really. SM
What is needed is responsible pet ownership. Not so many strays. It breaks my heart.
Bless you.
You sound like a very caring and kind person
I'm definitely not going to flame you, but I'm wondering if you actually put stuff *inside* the mailbox because that is against the law. I would appreciate the thought, but I really wouldn't like someone going in my mailbox besides my mail carrier.
My neighbors across the street have the most beautiful lights. I just moved here from the sticks and it was SO cool to be able to look outside my window every night and look at their array. I don't see them because our schedules are different, so I thought about mailing them a thank you card. But it really would not be appropriate to just pop it in the box.
Anyhow, please don't take offense, but maybe some of the looks you are getting is the mailbox thing. I'm not assuming or anything, just wanted to give you a heads up.
I sincerely hope you feel better :-)
this person sounds mentally ill....you sound
nm
I'm glad you shared. I'm tearing up too. You sound like a
xx
I'm glad you did too - it really means a lot to the person
It means the world to them to get something so simple as a card.
Glad your son is safe and sound. Prayers to those who aren't. nm
x
I have never personally heard of a single person who was glad they got one.
A rental property some place would be a far better idea than a timeshare.
What a good person you are and I'm glad Bones found you. He will be a great pet for somebody afte
nm
Are you a night person or a morning person?
Just curious . . .
And cost wise?
Read all the above and thanks so much. Now in the midst of trying to get my yard in shape after the grubs set in and do not want to spend an arm and a leg on flooring. Thanks again.
Cost wise?
Heard sodding expensive.
very wise advice about how to go about
It keeps it from looking like a competition or disapproval, and more about the longterm effects of treating a child over-the-top and how they might interpret that as they are "damaged." A+ advice!
She may be able to work her way up job-wise
xx
Its wise to stay away
I had a C-section and had planned to stay at my mom's for a week or so to recuperate. As soon as I got there, I put the baby in the cradle in the living room and started to put some things away in the bedroom. I could hear my step-dad saying "get 'im, get 'im" to his dog....I went out there and he was actually encouraging his schnauzer to mess with the baby! I came real close to braining him with a can of tomatoes over it. I left and refused to bring the baby to their house as long as he was in it. My mom, too, chose the step-dad over her kids. Now he's dead and her relationship with her kids is rocky, and she regrets it.
What a wise looking face.
I'm sorry about your husband's death. You must both miss him very much. 
Wise ol' soul
I really do, especially around this time of year. But, I ws lucky to have him as long as i did.
And, Silver has always been a wise ol' soul. He is a great comfort. But, unfortunately Silver has cancer and is getting really thin. So, I think he will be with my husband before too long.
That picture was taken a few years ago.
I like those words - very very wise
Going to remember that one.
What would you do - survival wise
Thinking about the storm Gustave (sorry, don't know how to spell it or want to open up new window to find correct spelling), but it brings me to another question I wanted to ask. If you knew an impending storm (or some other disaster) was heading your way, and you would be out of power for 30 days (no refrigeration or electricity/gas) and was stuck in your home and could not leave (roads blocked or whatever reason) and you had time to prepare ahead of time. What kinds of foods would you have on hand in your "emergency stash" and what types of things would you eat.
Wow, ya'll are so wise -- thanks
Appreciate any comments/advice. Keep it up! Thanks a lot.
Age wise, I am 10 years
older than DH.
Personality wise? I am probably most like Blanche! LOL
x
your grandmother=wise woman..saying comes from
Woman
was made from the rib of man, she was not created from his head-to top him, nor from his feet-to be stepped upon.
She was made from his side, to be equal to him; from beneath his arm-to be protected by him; near his heart-to be loved by him.
From The Talmud
Wise words, I second the rec. for the above post
Excellent points all.
Please forgive the double post. Wise NM
x
LOL- she sounds wise beyond her years. She's lucky to have you. nm
xx
A wise 1st grade teacher told us...
"If you won't believe that I was mean to your kids, I won't believe that you had dog food for dinner last night."
Wise words, bright side....
I had a mini-meltdown several months ago when the work pretty much dried up for awhile. My SO was so very supportive and reminded me that no matter what happened, even if we ended up living in a cardboard box, we would have each other and no one could take that away from us.
I'd always been extremely strong and independent before I met him, and would struggle through things alone and silently, always hiding behind the "everything is just fine" facade to everyone I knew.
It's so nice to have someone to love and trust and turn to for support when things get rough.
Knowing that someone is waiting right there to catch you if you start to fall off the edge is something no amount of money can buy.
Hang in there, backwardstypist...Things will work out for you and your DH.
what a wise, insightful and compassionate comment.
I wish you all the best and that you come out as a winner because you deserve it.
Percentage-wise, shoplifting is a more likely source of
I was horrified, what - a year ago? - to watch an episode of Oprah where three teenage girls AND THEIR MOTHERS were guests saying in front of God and the world that the girls engage in oral sex, how common it was, etc.
There was some point in this country when we decided that "shame" was bad (the oxymoronic suggestion being that we should be ashamed of shame!) - and nothing good has come out of this ridiculous 'progressive humanist' idea or its twin - the notion that outcomes should be the same for everyone regardless of their ability or effort.
Let's get the notion of shame back on stage - front and center. There ARE things that humans do that SHOULD make them feel shame and guilt. When we lose our ability to experience guilt, we have...let's see now, what do we have again? Oh yes, now I remember - we have Bernie Madoff and his $50 billion scam, television you can no longer watch with your children, teachers seducing their students, and a whole lot of other very unpleasant consequences.
It probably varies from person to person (sm)
With me, first child I was out of the bed seriously within 5 minutes of having him. I didn't tear or have to be cut, he was 7 pounds, 3 ounces. The doctor did some type of vaginal massage on me though while I was in labor and that was supposed to help loosen the vaginal wall?
Second child, same experience. She was 8 pounds, 1 ounce and within 5 minutes of having her, while they took her to the nursery to get cleaned up and all, I walked downstairs with my husband to the cafeteria to get a drink and stretch my legs. I had already put my regular clothes back on as well. My doctor who delivered her was walking in my room as I was walking in and he was stunned a second and said he thought I was a visitor, LOL, not the patient.
I don't think you have to have bed rest in normal cases. With my son I went home within 24 hours with him and with my daughter we went home in only 20 hours.
A wise old sage said: Beans, beans, are good for the heart ....
(you know the rest!) :)
Wow, you sound like
someone with real compassion for animals - NOT.
I personally would rather have my tax money go for this cause as opposed to going to cover welfare and disability incomes of people who are perfectly capable of working and just choose not to because they can. But that's just my opinion.
You know what? If it were me, and I know this may sound sm
way off to some people, but I would treat this young boy with love! Invite him over, talk to him, show him that someone truly loves him. I would invite him to church and pray for him. I know, totally unconventional. He acts that way because of his parents. He needs good, godly role models in his life. I would try my best to be that person.
I think too many people try to throw away bad kids. It's such a shame. They can be rehabilitated. 11 isn't that old. And I am not saying that is your responsibility because it's not! I understand that. But if I lived there, that is what I would do and see how that works. That saying, "love makes the world go round," is because love can turn a bad situation around. Bad always reaps bad.
I know because just this past Wed. I kept 5 kids at my house (I have 3 of my own!) and we stayed outside and played until 9 at night. I live out in the country and have a lot of land, animals, a pool, etc. The kids I had over has a dad serving in Iraq and I just wanted to give their mom a break. They don't have a yard where they live. They played until they collapsed. I ordered pizza and just loved on them. I see their mom struggling with them and I just wanted them to have a place where they could let loose and have a great time. One of them was a little ornery, but I would talk to her and be sweet and I really think I brought the best out in her. They brought their collie with them to play too and he ended up staying! So, we also have a new dog and we love him!
Good luck to you. I know this probably hasn't helped you much at all, but try not to be mad at him.
You sound
like a real taker and nasty, changing dirty diapers on a conference table?? I would have been finished with you then also. Gross. I have been at time share meetings before but a good answer is NO! Did not have to resort to a free this or that and I know how to get a point across without being offensive.
you sound like me
I have read people use timers to get themselves away from the computer when reading email on their working days. For me, I keep talking to myself and saying "just do it" especially when I feel the urge I want to begin and don't want to delay getting started any longer. I was more energetic when I was a SE.
Here's the sound for ya ...sm
 Cat
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0hBUO_1BPWU
How do you know who I am? You sound
xxx
That does sound a lot like us
I'm one of those tweeners size-wise; I'm not fat and not thin, wearing somewhere around a 10-12 jean, a 16 shirt, 5Ǝ", 170 pounds. But three children and breast-feeding have taken a toll, not to mention the varicose veins and a few randomly scattered keratoses. Like yours, mine claims (and acts) interested until it's actually bedtime, but then finds reasons not to come to bed. Like you also, the supposedly wanted advances have frequently been rejected (not outright, but more a 'not now' thing), so I've kinda quit putting myself out there, too. Fortunately, there are things that still say everything else is okay so I'm sticking it out, but with the price of batteries going up, we may have to find a better solution!
you sound like the big sis I need
Thanks for your note. I could be making more of this than what is really necessary. It is a horrible way to live (always planning for the worse and worrying about what's going on for things we can't control). I think he realized today that all the negative news and me having to work was really getting me down. I just feel myself getting heavier and heavier and I'm so exhausted right now I feel like I'm about to fall asleep and I have got to finish the rest of my work (about another 4 hours). The reason we don't celebrate holidays is actually an agreement we both have. We used to celebrate holidays but every year I found myself so depressed because I've been away from home for close to 30 years and it is still hard, and I cant just go home every year. And he does not like family rituals or whatever those things are called (can't think of the word), as in it's Thanksigiving so we eat Turkey because it's thanksgiving (family traditions - that's it). So over the years I found it easier to deal with the holidays by not celebrating them. If I do cook a turkey on Thanksgiving its because I feel like having turkey that day.
When I say I can't throw too much at him, he doesn't have health problems, but he just can't handle too much. We take one situation at a time. I learned that years and years ago. Me, I'll do 10 things at once, but I keep it simple for him otherwise, so he doesn't get too overwhelmed. Yes I know he's a big boy, but not all men act like it.
I may not be expressing myself too good at this point. I'm so exhausted and need to go lay down.
Thanks for listening. I liked your last line bout thinking his down and out feelings are more important than my well being. I will be thinking on that one more.
Thanks again.
you sound like me -
for the past couple of years, I have said, let's forget the gifts and just spend the day together at my mom's house -- but oh no, that would be horrible if we did not buy presents. This year, my sister's husband lost his job and now it's automatic, we are not going to be buying gifts.
I always wonder, why is it that one person in the family always seems to make the decisions for everybody else?
This is going to sound very mean, s/m
but I have three full grown cats and two of them won't leave the tree alone. We go through this every year. For the first two days, I do not plug the lights in but sit waiting with my squirt gun. Once they are in the tree, I shoot. They run. Normally after the first two days, they won't climb it again, but they will sit underneath it and bat at the balls on the lower part of the tree, which I make sure are plastic just for them. So far this has worked for me. Now if anyone can find a way to keep them off the counter, let me know! I have tried pepper, hot sauce, two sided tape and the squirt gun.
You sound like the
Geez!
I'd rather live next to the cows and pine trees any day!
You sound like me. ...sm
We seem to get the strays. I don't have the heart not to try to take care of them. I am a succer for dogs.
If he has pit in him you definitely do not want to call animal control. I would just feed him and show him love and try to find him a home. I would just tell my husband look he has nowhere to go. Until I find his owner or a new owner I will be taking care of him. My husband gets annoyed with me too, but he won't deny a dog food and care.
LOL, you sound like me
Except not only would I start fights, if my BF was even 5 minutes late coming home I'd have his clothes and stuff on the front porch and him locked out. I'd make him beg and apologize for about 30 minutes before letting him in (but make him wait 30 more minutes before allowing him to bring his stuff back in so I could 'think about it'). Finally I realized why I was doing it and, once I did, I worked really hard on thinking before I did anything.
It takes a long time to drag yourself out of that craving for chaos. Now when I want thrills, I suggest he and I go do something crazy together instead of me throwing his belongings onto the front porch and it's been smooth sailing ever since, lol!
I would still like to know if the OP had the same type of upbringing we did. Hopefully she'll post again soon.
This may sound dumb...
but it's driving me crazy. Does anyone remember a Jewish actress, around 60-ish now, with very short dark red hair, very prominent features, large nose. I think she played in a sitcom maybe as someone's mom. We saw her tonight in New York and all recognized her but none of us can remember what show she was on! Just wondering if anyone might be able to help us figure this out.
This may sound a bit weird., but /sm
I read your post and got to thinking about when I lived in a really large house and kept missing the knocks at the front door. I got myself one of those wireless doorbells, and would take the "bell" part from room to room with me when I was expecting a delivery... I wonder if you could take the part that usually screws onto the door frame and put it on a necklace or something for you mother to wear and "ring the doorbell" when she needs help, and then take the "bell" part from room to room. Actually mine was loud enough I didn't need to pick it up and move it unless I was going upstairs. They might even sell them with 2 or more receivers (what I call "bells") so you could hear it ring on whatever floor you are on.
Good luck. I took care of my uncle when he had lung cancer and we rigged up a baby monitor for him, but he was in a 1-story house and I could hear him except at night time, so I can empathize.
do any of these sound like you this year?
CHRISTMAS CAROLS FOR THE DISTURBED
* 1. Schizophrenia --- Do You Hear What I Hear?
* 2. Multiple Personality Disorder --- We Three Kings Disoriented Are
* 3. Dementia --- I Think I'll be Home for Christmas
* 4. Narcissistic --- Hark the Herald Angels Sing About Me
* 5. Manic - Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and Stores and Office and Town and Cars and Buses and Trucks and Trees and.....
* 6. Paranoid --- Santa Claus is Coming to Town to Get Me
* 7. Borderline Personality Disorder --- Thoughts of Roasting on an Open Fire
* 8. Personality Disorder --- You Better Watch Out, I'm Gonna Cry, I'm Gonna Pout, Maybe I'll Tell You Why
* 9. Attention Deficit Disorder --- Silent night, Holy oooh look at the Froggy - can I have a chocolate, why is France so far away?
* 10. Obsessive Compulsive Disorder --- Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle,Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells , Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells,
What do you think? I know this may sound crazy, but here goes. sm
I am in my mid 30s and currently having orthodontic treatment done. The doctor is so sweet (great looking too!). I find him staring at me whenever I come in there, unusually so. He's very, very attentive to me when he sees me. Fast forward to yesterday. I paid all of treatment within 3 months using insurance and cash (close to 5,000) and I received a letter today. He told me that he was so impressed with the way I set goals to pay my treatment in such a short time. Then he went on to say he was "looking forward to getting to know me better."
Okay. I was a little shocked. Is this normal? I've never had this happen before. It was a personal, hand written note.
Anyways, just wondering what your thoughts would be on this. He is the kindest, gentlest doctor I've ever been around. But, that's besides the point.
Just wanted to share this with you all. Not really looking for advice. Just thought it was weird.
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