You shouldn't feel this way so early in your marriage (sm)
Posted By: Stuck MT on 2008-02-24
In Reply to: hubby probs - angelmt
Take it from someone who stuck around way too long and now has a much more complicated situation (children and money involved) - cut your losses now and find someone you are a better match with. It has nothing to do with your weight. Your husband should be treating you with lots of love and attention right now in your marriage...if not, something is wrong. You can find someone else who would be a better match for you. Don't wait until there are children and finances and so many other complicating factors keeping you there!! However things are at the beginning of a marriage, they will only get worse as time goes on. I know it is hard, I know you love him, but it is not going to work. Again, cut your losses now, and move on to a better future!
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You shouldn't feel responsible....
As mean as it sounds, you have put up with it and YOU have decided for yourself that enough is enough and if you tell him so and IF he bounces back to alcoholism, then basically he is a grown man and that is HIS choice, you cannot let it affect you or make you feel responsible.
My sister-in-law is in the same boat as far as her husband being an alcoholic. It has put so much stress on her and their children and it has been going on about 15 years. He won't seek help though and she won't leave him. She just says that she is hoping one day he wakes up and sees what a good wife she is. I feel bad for her that she has wasted so much time on someone like that.
You shouldn't feel guilty because (see message)
you can't be really sure that is what she would have wanted. When my cat died, many years ago, she went away to be by herself when she died. We had to look for her to find her. Some animals just prefer to be alone. You spent time with her before she died, and then you made her comfortable. Perhaps it was easier for her to "leave" if you weren't there with her. I am so sorry for your loss.
Personally, if you feel like you have to work at your marriage,
then you're probably the only one working. I was married for 19 years and it felt like work from year five on and I hung on and "worked at it" harder. I listened to my fanatically religious in-laws who loved to say "God hates divorce." My conservative Christian up-bringing agreed with that assessment and the Bible seemed clear about what were acceptable reasons for divorce. So I hung in there through mental illness, alcoholism, laziness, irresponsibility, financial hardship. One day, I woke up and 19 years of my life were lost.
Both my parents took it early but I mean 5 years early - sm
as you are only talking a year I would wait as you will get more money in the long run, versus taking it a year early. Remember it stays at whatever it will be when you take it early the rest of your life. So if it is $500 at 65 but $600 if you wait, I'd wait. My mom started drawing it at 62, she died at 68, so if she had waited she would not have made up the difference; so in her case it paid to take it early, but most of us don't plan on dying shortly after retiring.
Maybe you shouldn't take any.
Curious as to why you listed biracial up there. What does that have to do with anything?
It doesn't sound like you really want any of them. Maybe foster care where someone wants to take of them would be a better place.
so therefore, i shouldn't have this cat and should get right of it
x
They shouldn't be treated the same
A 15yo and an 8yo should not be treated equally anyway. If the 15yo wants what the 8yo wants, tell him/her they can have the same bedtime, curfew, privileges etc. if they want everything to be fair.
You're right. I shouldn't
tell him it will be a long time before I die. I was just trying to comfort him. We have also talked about how everybody will die when God decides it is their time. We are regular church members. He has been raised in church and knows all that, I guess it's just now really sinking in. My husband will take care of my kids if I die. As far as if we both die, we have that taken care of also. We were married 18 years before we had them. They are definitely God's little miracles to us! I'm sorry for your loss, but you're right; you will see him again someday and I'm sure he has never left your heart! God Bless you and thank you for your kind advice.
Shouldn't I have a better self-definition by now?? sm
I am up early, not sure if this will interest anyone, but want to sort of wonder "out loud" on here for a moment. I am 40 years old, yet I still am ambivalent about my religious beliefs, my political beliefs, etc. I find myself not being steadfast either way...I don't know if that means I don't yet know who I am (though by now you would think I should!) or if that means that I am just always going to be a flexible thinker? I sometimes read posts on the liberal board and the conservative board and I can always see both points of view and find ways that I feel they are both right and sometimes both wrong so I never lean to far to either side. I grew up going to a Christian church and I believe in the general overall beliefs of Christians, but then I don't discredit other religions that others grew up with either. And I don't necessarily agree with everything that most mainstream Christians believe. Does all of this mean I am ignorant? Or is it ignorant to be too closed-minded to believe that others also have valid points of view, that I don't always have to be right, and that there is more than one way to be "right"? So sometimes I feel "undefined" and wonder how I can ever define myself...then other times I think I have defined myself exactly as I want to be. Does anyone else feel "undefined"? and is it a good thing or a bad thing?
What amazes me, though it probably shouldn't
is the number of people on this thread bashing someone for doing things right, when anon up above just suggests the OP file bankruptcy. What's wrong with you people? You think it's okay to just turn your back on the mess you've created? Not one of you commented on that poster's suggestion, yet you waste your time bashing someone who does have their act together. I would rather have PhillyChick in my corner anyday over anyone who thinks it's okay to just rack up debt and walk away. You people need to get your heads checked.
Before you say it, this has nothing to do with whether the OP has extenuating circumstances or not. The OP wasn't even asking about bankruptcy. The OP was asking for suggestions on how to pay things back, and for that, I applaud her.
well it shouldn't be. She should at least get to get a second opinion (sm)
I think she is being diagnosed to easily with something that can stay on her medical record and that is so unfair.
Maybe because no one has said to them they SHOULDN'T wear it...
nothing uglier than muffin top under too tight shirts, fat thighs in too tight jeans, sucking down an soda and eating a burger. Some people need to look in a mirror, or better yet, shop at a real department store, spend some money on good quality clothing, stop trying to dress like a teenager, and bring along a friend who will tell you how you REALLY look in the clothes you try on.
shouldn't this be on the WAHM board?
just wondering why pregnancy, potty training etc questions are not being re routed to the WAHM board? Otherwise, what is that board for? just a question, not a criticism.
Well, she shouldn't have married him...that never works.
x
It shouldn't matter. Of all the couples I know currently, (sm)
only ONE is same-race. The rest are white/black, black/Pacific Islander, Asian/white, etc. And the only same-race couple I know is gay. So no, it shouldn't matter in the slightest.
You shouldn't be so judgmental and nasty
without knowing all the facts. News flash: Life isn't always black and white, cut and dried. Try to put yourself in her shoes and not be so critical because you don't know any of the details of what's going on. Jeesh.
he shouldn't even ask-it's too obvious and classless
again, just my own *take* on the situation...betcha these people always get called by virtual strangers or acquaintenances to stay with them while the guests do Disney Parks.....living in Orlando and all that....
it reeks of using them.....just to stay there.....
Bad taste, to say the very least.
But, shouldn't this be on the RELIGION Board?? nm
x
Shouldn't teenagers at least have at home ....sm
a CLEAN environment?
Shouldn't this really be on the Politics board? sm
you are labeling global warming science as rotten, and basically making remarks about Obama that pretty much should be noted on the politics board, not GAB.
She's your mother. There shouldn't be "boundaries."
One day, your mother will be gone and you will look back on this vacation as time you missed and your children missed out on with her.
I'm very close with my mother. She's my rock. The one person I know I can always count on if ever I or my children need anything. My dad passed away at age 49 and both my parents instilled a strong sense of family on my brother and sister and I. Blood is blood. We should always "do" for family.
Yes, my mom gives me unsolicited advice, yes she has irritated me repeatedly over the years, yes we've had our spats and cold wars, and yes she has intruded in my home and turned her nose up at my housekeeping abilities. But in the end she's my mother. She's earned the right to give me unsolicited advice and she's always welcome in my home. And of course I don't do things as well as she did, she was a career housewife. I haven't had the luxury. But she does what most mothers do and what I will do someday, I'm sure.
Just tell you mom to bring her own spending money and let her know that maybe she and your dad she get their own hotel room because there are far too many people for just one room. You may even be able to have one or two of your kids sleep in their room. It might work nice for you. You and your hubbie maybe could leave the kids with your parents one night at the hotel with your parents at the pool or something and go out on a date.
Or maybe tell her you think it's great she go and she can help you with the kids and give you some alone time on your trip. She may decide she doesn't want to go afterall and then everything works out the way everyone wants.
my thought is that it shouldn't even be called
'assisted suicide', it should be called 'facilitating a less painful transition.'
If the terminally ill patient himself and the doctors agree to stop the pain and suffering, then definitely, yes.
Then she shouldn't post here if she doesn't want
with someone telling her to get up off her butt and look for a job? It takes two months to realize you aren't making enough money?
I feel more sorry for someone who experiences a true tragedy. Not someone who sits around and waits for the crap to hit the fan.
She needs to read some of the recommendations here and do something.
It is better than nothing.
All the kids should pitch in to hire help. Shouldn't all be on
:P
It shouldn't matter, but in this imperfect world
it upsets a lot of people - who ought to be minding their own business.
I asked my mother about marrying outside your race when I was young, and she replied that marriage was difficult enough that you should look for somebody you have things in common with, and religion and race are 2 biggies.
I have been married for 20 years, so I haven't had to think about it for quite a while though.
See what this board has come to? Blurry or not that shouldn't be posted.
p
But these are kids; they shouldn't have to fight at a young age nm
:)
Silly Girl shouldn't have to treat her
husband like a dog or a child. After all, she is his wife, not his mother. If she wants a pet, she can go to the animal shelter and get a dog. She married a man and he needs to act like one. It sounds like she gives and gives, and he takes. I think Silly Girl should start taking care of herself for a change.
It shouldn't be about wearing a ring, but more...see message
the way he acted toward you. My husband doesn't wear his wedding ring, just cos he doesn't feel like it, and I don't wear mine either. No big deal, but sounds like this guy was flirting with you and that's what I think was wrong.
ARRGH, I knew I shouldn't have opened up this sm
discussion. I was working, and was going to watch whenever I had time (love DVR), but I just had to peak, lol. Oh well, of course, I am still going to watch it 
Definitely understand that - you shouldn't have to have your property be forever a memorial! (sm)
you were VERY kind to leave it there and take care of it for six months. So ridiculous that people gave you a hard time. I'm sorry that happened to you! Bad enough that you have to know something so awful happened in front of your home without a constant reminder and strangers coming up to your house all the time. And it is not your job to maintain it for them. If the family understood, then certainly no one else should have any say whatsoever.
I did my taxes in February, no reason why $ shouldn't be here today
:(
Shouldn't this be moved to the Weight Loss board?
No, west coasters shouldn't have to wait to come to this board. Again, do not post
If you feel that you must post, post something in the subject line that there is spoiler information on the inside of the post then make your post inside so those who don't want to know will know not to open your post.
I see ads in our paper and phone books for "stagers" all the time now. Shouldn't be
s
it's not illegal, but it's inappropriate & he shouldn't be allowed to teach anymore
x
Guess talking with dying aunt over daughter just shouldn’t happen
Yes I did say disconnect (have thought about that for some time just due to the excessive amount spent on land phone though and daughter suggested disconnecting also to save $$$) the fuss was the fact about others assumming something. I took what I considered to be the more important of the 2 calls- basically I talk with the daughter every week several times and the aunt - well what would most do?
Too early for me
not an entire hair but head-full of hair.
Get up early
I have a 20 month old and a 4 year old and have been doing this since they were born. I have their toys in the same office and have them confined to a couple of rooms of the house. I get up early and get a good part of my day in before they even wake up. Then, I take a break for lunch (breakfast, get dressed, etc.). Then I finish up the rest while they play or watch cartoons. It really works out pretty well, although at times it is trying. I just try to remind myself it is better for them to be home with me.
It was in the early 90's
And that hospital was known for its psych ward, and just happened to be the closest one to where I worked. I don't recall what tests they did (but they didn't want to do many on an ER basis, I remember that, so they were pushing me to become an inpatient). Mostly they just sat and asked me questions, decided it wasn't life-threatening (and possibly not even "real'). Maybe I sounded crazy because I was scared enough by it to go there in the first place. As they took it so lightly, and I realized I could function with it (though it was distracting), I decided to just let it be. I was embarrassed because nobody I knew had ever had something like that, and it did sound "crazy" when I started telling people it felt like there were worms or bugs crawling beneath the skin of my scalp and face...and now the ER thought I needed the psych ward....so I decided to quit talking about it. Which turned out the be the thing to do, in my case.
Early as possible
Consequences of choices should be taught as soon as they can hear. This is an important concept in so many ways. It is basic and teenagers grown-ups who have not learned it in childhood don't usually commit suicide over an insult even though they may have major problems with "shaking it off." I believe, again, that there was more than meets the eye in this case. If you never learned in childhood you should make it your priority to learn it now and share it with everyone you know. This was not a "gesture" of suicide, which is often a reaching out for help and/or attention. The method chosen was lethal.
Thank you - can you tell me what the early (sm)
signs or symptoms were? I do let my son pretty much wear what he wants and have his hair how he wants. I have been asking him to get it out of his eyes and I don't want to let him wear old shirts with stains but I'm very lenient with him. When the clothes are in the laundry though, there is not much I can do. I guess I could put him in charge of making sure they are clean? As far as early symptoms, was it anything like this? My son would get very upset if I moved any pictures on the walls or rearranged any furniture and he had a fit if I got my hair cut enough that he could tell a difference, this was up until he was about 5 or so. But he is a very good child, never really gets in trouble, has friends though he is very selective about them so has just a handful.
No, she's in her early 30s.
I love Grey's, too - Thursday nights, my work has to wait until it's over - completely addicted!
Through the rumor mill, I also heard that Patrick Dempsey was going to leave the show because he wanted more time with his family and to further his movie career. If that happens, I'm not sure I'll still be into it as much, but Eric Dane would still be a pretty big pull.
No, she's in her early 30s.
I love Grey's, too - Thursday nights, my work has to wait until it's over - completely addicted!
Through the rumor mill, I also heard that Patrick Dempsey was going to leave the show because he wanted more time with his family and to further his movie career. If that happens, I'm not sure I'll still be into it as much, but Eric Dane would still be a pretty big pull.
We usually go end June or early
July, but this year we waited until the first week of August and was already better on crowds!
Early August in AL
August 7 in the Prattville AL area.
Absolutely no way. I am in my early 30s and......
have a secret crush on my dentist who is in his 60s. Younger guys are too immature and don't know a thing...
Yes I am sure, retire early and take your - sm
benefits at a reduced rate. This is from the yearly SS Statement I get in the mail. Also in teh "Before you decide to retire" section; "If you choose to receive benefits before you reach full retirement age, your benefits will be permantely reduced. However you will receive benefits fora longer period of time." (in theory of course). This is from my statement dated August 20, 2007; I kind of doubt it has changed. I remember when my parents decided to take it early; they did not really need the money but figured what the hey, and in my mom's case it worked to their benefit. You need to do the math and figure out the year to income ratio of the difference, etc. In my case, if I take it at 62 I would get $640 a month, wow; but if I wait until I am 67 I get $914-- $274 is not a huge difference but it is to many; and a fair amount to me even now. If I wait until I am 70, I get $1134 -- $220 more a month; now I doubt I'd hold out for that, but I guess it will just depend on my health and financial situation at that time. In order to make that money/break even on my benefits I'd pass on until I was 70; I would have to live until at least 82 to have made the 32K I would have gotten had I taken the $914 at age 67. ---So in my case I sure I will take it at my specified age of 67. I like working and keeping busy. Everything will be paid for then, so I am sure I will be able to live on earnings from a PT job until I decide to collect SS. But I have a ways to go as I am only 42!
No wonder I got my period early!!
:)
My doc says it's early hearing loss. sm
I went in 2 weeks ago for my check up and complained about the ringing in my right ear. He said it's early hearing loss and if it bothers me to see the ENT and get a hearing test done. LOL-like I have time for that right now.
Central PA ~ It's been snowing since early a.m.
Could get up to a foot at least from what I heard. So don't like hearing that!
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