You responded to someone re my post below (sm)
Posted By: Another wife on 2007-10-29
In Reply to: Maybe someone could shed some light on this marriage thing. sm - wife
Thanks - I am in the same sort of situation. Same thing with the ratio of his money to mine, and not having any family support. Even though there are a lot of nice people on here it is hard for many people to relate to the "no family at all to help" scenario. I think our husbands prey on us for that reason. They look at us and know they earn 5 x as much as we do and that we have no family to support us and they feel very superior to us because of that. I would really like to talk more with you if you are interested in e-mailing.
Complete Discussion Below:  marks the location of current message within thread
The messages you are viewing
are archived/old.
To view latest messages and participate in discussions, select
the boards given in left menu
Other related messages found in our database
Sorry to have responded that way (sm)
It is just that you really have no idea what I have been through in 15 years.... and you would have no way to know just based on my post, so I shouldn't be defensive. But truly I have tried everything to make things better in this marriage and I am not someone who will ever be happy having all the decisions made for me. I want big decisions to be made as a couple, not by one or the other.
Thank you to all who responded. I really feel better, but I am going to say
something to her about it all, once I figure out a way not to lose my temper. Yes, I am a laid back-type of parent, as I tried trying to keep up with the Jones' and such, but after putting my kids through torture (of course, thinking I was doing best) by constantly involving them in things they had no interest in (and, of course, listening to everyone on how to raise my children), I decided to listen to THEM. I am very involved in their schools and I have a lot of quality time with them daily, but I just feel kids need to be kids as well and have time with their peers and work out things on their own without me constantly over them. Let's face it, there is no guarantee I will be here even tomorrow, so I try to instill morals in them and pray they do the next right thing,but I cannot expect them to make every right decision and I should not judge myself as a parent that way. If I do, then I will inevitably correct and criticize them, as I will be judging them by someone else's opinion as well.
Thank you, because I really knew what the right thing was but I kept allowing someone else's feelings tumble into my own and that made me feel really sad. I know they are both very good kids. They may not be perfect to the standards of some people, but they are mine and I am very proud of them....no mmatter what anyone says.
(((hugs))))
r u the poster I responded to? well if not.
If you are or are not the poster I responded to - doesn't matter one lick. The poster said *will not shop in any store that sells gay or lesbian items*
Poster did not clarify that they *WOULD shop in a store that sells heterosexual items also being sold to gays* -
You seem to have an interpretation and possibly reading problem which, if you were the poster I was responding to, accounts for the little pea-sized, shut-down to nearly closed-down brain.........
To me it is unbelievable that homophobes still exist in the 21st Century amongst the common folk?
All this spewing about Christmas and Christian way of life and giving and generosity and all this supposed good feelings, yet all I see here is hypocrisy and condemnation for anyone who is not of your faith and for anyone who doesn't interpret any bible the way that some of you do.
God says we are to love each other as we love ourselves - but looking at some of these posts I see SOME really lack loving themselves and become accusers and finger-pointers - and JUDGE NOT LEST YE BE JUDGED.....
To all who condemn others who do not follow your ways, religion, closed mindedness..... Who died and left you boss of anything?
And lest not forget that Christianity and Catholicism stems from Judeo-Christian teachings.....which when I get involved teaches all about tolerance.
Now, can we all just try to be pleasant and get along and agree that we can all disagree and still be civil to one another or is that task far too great?
MTmtmt, I responded to you below (NM)
x
Thank you everyone who responded... and YES i do want children some day...
:) Sorry if I implied I wasn't sure about children... because I have ALWAYS wanted a family. I definitely know I some day want children, my question was how do I know when it's right. I just know i dont want one now, that was my point, he does, i dont, is he the one that has to wait until I'm ready? I just always try to look at the fair side of things.
I guess I just wondered if there was this "ticking clock" that would happen to me to let me know it was time, or I figure we will just not "TRY" and see how things go after we get married...
and thanks for saying I'm not selfish, but the reasons for not having one right away ARE selfish... i still want to do my own thing, go out with friends, still have the body I have (LOL)...
I appreciate everyone's thoughts and outlooks and will take them into consideration.
since you already responded yes I would suck it up and go sm
You should have said no from the beginning. Dinners are not cheap. There may be time for the bride to take away from her count. I think it would be very rude not to show up. That is just causing more talk.
Thanks to all who responded. I never expected such a response.
I think the consensus is that to make sure my daughter makes an informed and education decision about her life choice and to be supportive, which I definitely will. She has been lost for so long and I find it heartwarming and hopeful that she finally feels positive about her life to want to think about her future. Whatever she decides, I'll be here for her. I definitely think she should explore all branches of the military as well as non-military options. Thanks again to all who responded. It was greatly appreciated!!!
They should have responded sooner. How scary!
xx
Thanks everyone who responded - can't wait til tomorrow morning!
x
not poster you responded to but that poster has
everyone with different opinions is allowed to post here and poster said they were making a contribution in the name of pro-peace....give that poster a break please....
Well, you post with something that is going to --sm
get your *butt jumped* and then you cry when someone does. judgemental of everything, huh? don't get your halo in a twist. geez.
your post says *they*...
Is more than 1 of your children living with this person? Just curious...
Thank you for your post....sm
at least YOU seem to understand the concept of what a thyroid problem can do to a person...unlike anon poster below, who has a very closed mind about ANYthing she does not agree with.
My thyroid problem is quite bad. I HAVE seen an endocrinologist who explained that thyroid disease is an autoimmune disease, where the body attacks certain organs for no reason. I did not do well on synthetic thyroid replacement and switched to a *natural* form. I am currently taking 120 mg daily and that is a lot. The endocrinologist said that my thyroid was barely functioning at all.
I feel very bad for your brother in law, as I truly understand how he feels. Thank you again for your understanding support for my problem, rather than attacking me with being a food junky, being paranoid, needing a psychiatrist, telling me I am nuts, and to pursue bariatric surgery, which all tends to lower my already low self-esteem. thank you for your courage to post. It is nice to know that SOME people understand.
was the *duh* in yer post necessary?.....
#
better post than your first one *LOL*
I like what you said there - you have had a GOOD solid thing for 41 years now.......or thereabouts with your husband -
Doing this to him, even surreptitiously....do you think this is what HE deserves after you having a full life with him? Do you have a conscience? Even if you don't see this guy from 900 miles away - YOU'RE STILL CHEATING, you are carrying on a secret relationship in a secret email account behind your husband's back.........
I ain't judging.........but points upward.........towards G_d.........
jes' sayin'..............
how did this post above from 1/16/07 end up
on the top of GAB BOARD? And silly me, I answered it *LOL* - says Jan 16, 2007....all below this are March of 2007........very bizarre...someone probably trying to invoke conversation(?)
very_curious_indeed
what does this have to do with my post?
to be adopted already....
I really liked your post, thanks for that!!!..sm
I so respect what you said/typed.......thank you :)
oh that post is NOT *way down below*...sm
it's right under this post *ROFL*....I'm tired.....
Cut off from above post: j/k nm
uhijok
Post (SM)
All prayer requests belong on the Prayer Request board. You access it by going to the Gab board first, then clicking the Prayer Request link just above the posts.
I have not received any emails from you regardnig your post.
Sorry to post again about this but (sm)
Divorce is a huge decision - I have been talking to family and friends but this is the only place I can get anonymous opinions from a lot of people, and it is more likely that someone here may have been through something similar. My husband now is asking me to not go. But he has already told me just a few nights ago that he was never happy with me, was always disappointed and frustrated with who I am, and that this is probably the reason he hit me a few years ago. He went nuts a few years ago during a very minor argument (children were not present), and now says that it was probably because of years of frustration. But now he is once again asking me to stay. Because my parents are divorced he says that "divorce is the only thing I know" when faced with conflict. I have been here almost 14 years and he has never been happy with me. Even when I was young and thin and our house was spotless. My question is - if he has never been happy with me, and I have always been a source of frustration, why should I stay now and expect things to improve? We have been to 4 marriage counsellors in the past. I am scared about leaving and I still do love him deep down, but why continue to stay if I will never be good enough?
I should have put LOL after my post
about the fancy car. My parents and my MIL drive "fancy" cars. I agree that wasn't a nice thing to say.
Well, here you can post what you think
Well, here you can post what you think is an awesome idea or might we say lame... (Creativity is the key)
I'll start with:
Awesome:
Water powered cars...
Lame:
Really cool stuff that is ridiculously expensive(i.e. PS3)
Please do post a pic of your pup
if you haven't already. Hayseed knows how.
Was this post really necessary?
Why bother reading a post that doesn't interest you just to post something rude and totally unnecessary? I for one love hearing about the good things in life. It's not just all work, work, work.
see my post sm
Would anyone who has used Cymbalta please reply to my post on the Mental Health board. I think this is suitable for "gab" but only one answer on that board. Thanks! BTW, I don't think exhaustion and pain from this profession is all "in our mind." I hope you agree.
Post her pic?
//
I saw that post too
I'm glad I wasn't the only one confused. This is a gab board and that's what we're doing gabbing about cats and other animals. If he/she isn't interested, just don't read the posts. By the way, I have an all black Halloween cat and the kids get a big kick out of him when them come to the door.
I think your post is right on
My hubs and I have separate and I trust him beyond belief, would never know what he made a year except at tax time. I think it is great to have hubs you trust and can take care of things like yours does. Seems like a dream deal to me. I could care less for doing anything when it comes to financial deals but sometimes have to fool with that. If I had a hubs that dealt with everything, I would be more than happy. You are blessed.
Just saw this post
Yes, his anal glands were really impacted- the post below this 1 helped me tremendously. Never knew felines got that way. He went to the veterinarian the very day I learned about the possibility of what it could be, the vet expressed the glands and relieved that problem. Yesterday my big boy (20 and a half lbs) went to the groomers to get him all cleaned and smelling good again. One more thing I learned- he is double furred boy and hair was even growing over his anus which had to be shaved. He is quite the handsome guy today!
100% right and that is my post
Give varied foods to be served but can you just imagine if 10 or more kids would not eat and demanded certain foods for their own eating? Did not say kids should be forced to eat anything but definitely needs vegetables in their diet. Sit foods on the table, not much fuss and let the child eat and eat good, no junk stuff, no Cokes, no sweetened drinks, no overloading on the chips, cookies and other sweets.
By the way, there is a second pic in that post above. (nm)
.
I just had to post this pic too!
This is my youngest, Scooter, when we first brought him home 2 years ago. He is MUCH bigger now! LOL!
Above post is IMO, of course.
x
Thanks for your post
She's actually the one that's hard on herself. If she was in regular classes it wouldn't matter to me. I'll see what happens when she gets home in an hour.
The post above you was right
You have said as much by "someone saying to mind your own business." It is her business, not any of yours at all. As far as the thrown away card, once a person is given a present, whether it is a card or whatever it is, it is their property then and the person can toss it, hold onto it or do what they like. She is minding her own business as you should. In your posts you come back time and again about what friends you were, how you emailed every day, you seem really clingy to this person, like you cannot make it another day before you hear from her. Do you have any life of your own?
your post
The mare is foaling - NOT having a "baby" thats human and she will either have a colt (male) or a filly (female)
FYI
your post
Sorry Cat, but NO apology is necessary -- the word "foal" was used in the original post, for those who don't know, "give birth" would have been a better term and BTW -- I am the granddaughter of a cattle rancher and have seen my share from BIRTH TO DEATH -- and we are talking 25,000 acres as well thank you VERY much
your post
I was the "oldest granchild" on my mom's side of the family and the "eldest of 4 girls" on my dad's side and he was the baby of his family. My paternal grandmother was the head baker for the local hospital and used to make ALL the "Holiday" pies for the docs to take home -- she had a mincemeat receipie to DIE for but when she died, it went with her :(
My maternal grandparents were great too. Little by little during the depression, they bought land in the Sandhills of Nebraska spent WHOPPING sum of $10 an acre and eventually built the ranch up to be approximately 25K acres, their cattle were pretty much all grass fed, gram had a "scrap bucket" under the sink, which was used to feed the chickens and they produced ORANGE yolks.
I just wish that our generation that is being raised nowadays could somehow understand how much more important the "simple values" are
Thank you for your post!
It sure is refreshing to listen to someone who actually KNOWS about religion and can pontificate (chose this word on purpose) about differences/similarities. If more people KNEW about various religions, we would have more acceptance and less ignorance in the world.
Thanks again, from your friendly agnostic....
your post
I am STILL grieving for what happened in my hometown a week ago today -- it not ONLY affected the university but the surrounding communities as well. If one or 2 of those students at Virginia Tech or NIU had been able to carry a concealed weapon into those classrooms AND being able to confront that assailant then perhaps we would not be MOURNING but REJOICING because lives were saved rather than lost -- You YOUNGSTERS who have NEVER SEEN the tragiedies that have gone on in this country and I am talking from VietNam forward -- need to grow up and quit whining
There was not one post that said
or asked you to stop. A few people just stated that it was hard to see other threads and I agree with them. It was fun at first but it became tiring because you could not see threads from other people. I'm all for it but perhaps a separate game board should be the place for it.
See my above post nm
A
Thanks so much for your post--you have me so much to think about! sm
You make some excellent points--things I hadn't even considered. I see why you like to decorate--you cover all the scenarios. Thanks again.
Your post described me :-)
Okay, this is the first break I've taken today so thought I'd check out the site. I read your post and laughed because this has exactly happened to me. Over the past few days I have visited too frequently and got behind on my work, so I made it a point not to visit the site until I finish my work.
Gosh - talk about addicted 
your post
Being a military widow, I would call the "Jag" office but think first talking to his CO would work, if no help there then the military attornys
Let's all post a pic of our pet...sm
This is my darling Pit Bull, CJ, and my other darling Beagle, Darla. They are the best of friends.
Thank you for your post.......s/m.
I have never met a person with a 99.6 percentile IQ.
Now that you explained all what comes with it, I see it quite differently and I agree that people with an IQ of 125-140 are the most fortunate. Because they go with the flow, they are smart, they fit in , they are not 'different.'
Being a beauty queen is also not always a bliss, too intelligent, too beautiful, too rich, ect., it's not good.
But it should not make you unhappy or even suicidal.
This was RE my post below sm
I think the OP should do as she pleases! While *I* have had a lot of flack for *my* decisions...I don't think that having a child or not having a child is selfish, ever. I don't think is requires a justification either.
The only selfishness about children so far as I can see is willy nilly having babies by various fathers, not marrying and giving no thought as to whether you want the children or not, or whether you can care for them or not. This is NOT the case here and I know that.
I am trying to say, having children or not, and the word *selfish*, have nothing in common.
a post for me!! :)
Hi silly girl i feel so special!
I am just settling into being in a new state, living in a hotel room with a kitchen with no stove (i thought I barely cooked but without that I realize how much i need it!!!) Yes there is a microwave, but a small fridge and a freezer that only holds one frozen lean cuisine at a time!!! Find myself eating out way too much... putting everything on credit cards because I haven't transferred banks from west coast to east coast... lost one job and only get paid once a month now... LOL so much going on!!! but I am happy happy happy! :)
I have a myspace page if you're interested but that is a LOT of information to take in! My little sister showed up two days ago as a complete surprise with my niece so I was ecstatic.
Just been workin workin workin what i do. I do still come here and browse but haven't had the chance to sit and really have discussions lately. you are so sweet to have noticed!! ill be back :)
|
