You may not feel that you are limiting YOUR options SM
Posted By: Not me on 2006-12-11
In Reply to: My convictions are what they are & I can post what I feel is right. Sorry if you don't - like it. I don't feel that I'm limiting (sm)
but it sure sounds like you would try to limit other people's options. What a sad, intolerant attitude. The fact of the matter is that there are gay/lesbian people in the world and there have always been. They are human and they have rights and they have needs and some companies are giving them the opportunity to purchase what they want/need. Not all stores are bible outlet stores or catering to the PG audience.
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Have at it. You are limiting yourself to options daily.
nm
Maybe try limiting contact to
just phone calls. That will let her know that you are cooling off the visitation with her but not make you look ungrateful. If she brings up never seeing the children, I would let her know politely that you thought she didn't care to have them visit since they always seem to "act up" at her house. If DH wants to see her DH, then let him visit him alone. Is there a close neighbor or friend that could keep your girls while you visit your aunt once in a while? I take it she lives nearby if your boss has contact with her. If she asks why you didn't bring the children, again - say that you thought it would be better for her if you didn't bring them anymore since their behavior doesn't meet her standards. She should get the hint pretty quickly.
I definitely agree with you that she should not be pushing her discipline methods on you. You are the parent and only you and DH should have any say in how you choose to discipline your children and whether or not they even need it. I will say from experience that the previous generation seems to think we don't know how to handle our kids. I think a lot of that has to do with the state this country is in, but I don't believe it falls directly on our shoulders. Afterall, our kids weren't even born when things started to go downhill. Maybe it's all the hairbrushes and flyswatters that are causing some of these problems.
yes, i'm limiting stay overs at the in-laws sm
We are trying to raise our kids to be respectful. My FIL is a kid in an adult's body. And that's fine, but when it comes to certain things regarding my kids, I don't think it's right. Like having my 10 y/o throw bottle rockets after he has lit them. I didn't even know this happened until we went to their house the next day and he was saying that. I told him I don't want him throwing bottle rockets, it's dangerous! I'm going to limit his stay over trips to their house. There's so much more to this family that I'm not going to get into. I just want my kids to be respectful, compassionate for others, and open minded. But it is nice to know that there other parents out there that go through stuff. My 10 y/o (I feel) doesn't know how to handle his anger. He's such a good kid that he rarely ever gets in trouble, but when he does do something and I have to get onto him, he just flies off the handle and says no one likes him and he's going to run away. I've told him several times he can talk to me no matter what the issue, that I'm always here. (See his dad is not a good communicator at all, as is the whole in-law family).
Sorry for rambling on.
options
The only option is leaving? There's no hope for a passive/aggressive? Is this really true?????
somewhere in * options *
you should have the choice of checking to alert you when an email has been read. I believe this is the case in Outlook. Not sure about the others, hotmail, yahoo, etc.
She has some options -sm
The first of which she needs to see her first shirt or commander. She could maybe get reassigned to another base stateside and not be deployed right now. She also could take emergency leave. She could also allow her parents or another close relative to take care of the child for a time. The thing is, she has signed a contract that is hard to break. While her superiors will most likely work with her, she is under obligation to serve as expected along with everyone else. If she goes AWOL, as someone suggested, she is subject to jail time when she is caught (and believe me, the military can find you!). Been connected with the military for 45 years now. That is just the way it is.
There many Catholic options
If you want something prepackaged:
www.setonhome.org (regionally accredited.)
www.kolbe.org
www.chcweb.com
www.olvs.org (They are traditional.)
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/cathswap/
Cathswap is a yahoo group for buying used Catholic curriculum.
I would give her 2 options
Someone did this to me. I told her there were 2 options if she needed my help this badly. I told her that I do work, just from home so her options were:
1. Since it takes time away from my work, she would need to make up the income lost including transportation costs. Since I make about $20 an hour, she would owe me at least that much each time I had to drive her kid plus a transportation fee of $5 a day (gas and what not).
2. If she didn't want to pay, than she would get to take care of my kids at her house when she was off of work. If that meant she was off at 6, got home at 6:30, and still needed to do what needed to be done at home (dinner, cleaning, spending quality time with her family), she would have my kid with her so that I could work since I had to take time off to help her out. If I had to work at night, she could watch my kid (or just take my kid to work with her if she wanted her nights).
Needless to say, that made her realize that I do, in fact, have a job and she would need to rely on someone else. She wasn't willin to pay $25 a day nor was she willing to give up her nights for my child.
do they have vegetarian options
As I am vegetarian, would like to check into it further, but if they do not take this into account, do not want to waste the time. Thanks
A couple of options
I would try to host your own. They should be understanding that you want to celebrate being a new couple doing the family things. Or you could go to one on Thanksgiving day, the other on the day after and then do the opposite for Christmas Eve and Christmas. Ask your husband what he thinks, certainly he knows his family well enough to be able to know how they would take it.
They do have payment options
it may be if you're not already in arrears with them, but I have had a payment plan with them before. When you file for the automatic extension, it only allows that the deadline to file the return itself is extended to August 15th, but if you are going to owe, you are still supposed to pay by April 15th. (What's the point, right?) I think it is more a means for people who have complicated returns to get more time to complete them, but still have to estimate how much they owe and go ahead and pay that.
I did about a month ago. There are other options.
Workin at the Q. Money is real tight.
But there are internet sites like Hulu where you can watch TV shows for free. Also at least I know on NBC who can watch some TV shows on there for free, too. Just about any news channel you can watch recorded news stories and sometimes even live if something major is going on.
Also, I found on YouTube that you can watch shows and movies. They have started putting commercials on them, though (same with Hulu). But who cares, you would have to see them on cable TV, anyway.
There are actually a ton of internet sites. I actually got into watching old *Kojak* reruns on Hulu (I know, but I liked that show back when.) They have a ton of old shows.
There is also Netflix or Redbox - you can get the cheaper options for movies.
I can watch my local news on the internet, too.
So, just seek out what options are out there for you. I figure even if it is only temporary (I have some job interviews this week) I can still watch things on TV but on the internet until things are better.
Honestly though, I will have to think about that because I haven't missed my cable TV not one bit.
I agree about society and options, etc. (as
You don't have to have an eating disorder to be thin. Not everyone who is thin has an eating disorder.
Don't wish that horrible fate upon yourself.
If you want to lose weight, just set your mind to do it. Decide before every meal, snack, or drink you have, if what you're eating is undermining your desire to look better and be more healthy, and decide if instant gratification is more imporant that this.
Oh, and by the way, just because you are thinner, does not mean people will give you more attention. Believe it or not, it is what's inside that counts to the people who really love and know you. Yeah, you might turn more heads, but you are still the same person inside.
Having said all that, I do agree that society does judge people on their appearance.... beauty, body, blah blah blah... I could go on about my philosophy of that, but I'll save it for another time :-)
There are a lot of options for at-home high school (sm)
There are many online high schools used for homeschooling. Some community colleges and 4-year colleges and universities have high school homeschooling options to check into. You may also have the option of her taking some college classes, but watch out...they may be run by gays and lesbians. What is wrong, again, with a gay and lesbian club?
When looking at the two options, the monthly payments were much higher
if buying, I mean by double in many cases. Also, my husband knows the car dealers where we bought, and they were the ones actually explained all of it to us and why most of them lease! I'd rather pay under 300 a month forever than pay 500 or more a month for 5 or 6 years for the same car. Yes, you may not have car payments for a few years but what are you really saving based on the above? Plus, NO repairs and always having a brand new car. Some even come with free OnStar and satelite radio for a year, and other perks like that. Oh, I've bought many times in the past; and for me this is just a much better deal. To each his own.
simply explain that for several years KFC has had many side options
nm
not normal...usually a plan covers all the fancy phone options sm
if that was my phone bill I would freak out. Heck I don't even pay that much for electricity during hot summer air-conditioning months. A good cell phone plan, with data included should not even cost that much because you get allowances for texting, etc. whose ever that is really needs to revisit their contract.
How would you feel
Let me ask you, how would you feel if you were in an mva and when you arrived at the trauma center they said, sorry - we can't help you, we are closed for Thanksgiving or Christmas as the case may be. We make a choice when we get into healthcare - it's 365 days a year 24/7. Doctors, nurses, firefighters, police officers, military.. all professions that require working major holidays. Usually it's a skeletan crew that works and is on call for Stats. My feeling is, if a gaurantee job of no holidays is what one wants, then one should go into a field that doesn't require the coverage like banking or a private physicians office. Hospital medical transcription has never been Monday through Friday and never will. Think about it from the patient's point of view, after all - that is the main goal - THEIR care.
Been there - know how you feel sm
Honestly, I lost two angels before my firstborn. One at 16 weeks and the other at 12 weeks. It was excruciating and heart breaking. Now, I know I have two angels on each shoulder 24 hours a day watching over me and my family. It is comforting after a while to know that you have these angels.
God bless you and your family!
You should not feel bad at all, I don't
wrong with your response at all. My home is with my family also, but I do think of the small town in which I spent the first 20 years of my life and the wonderful times I had there, especially at the holiday time of year.
Thank you, too. I feel the same. As for
your European anology of family, you are SO right. I so admire that type of family dynamic, and don't understand fully what happened here in America. My parents were/are typical examples. They were 50's and 60's Beaver-Cleaver parents - my dad worked, my mom was a stay at home mom, though it turned out she hated it. They had the obligatory 3 kids, me being the last, and by a long shot. At any rate, they just did not foster a close family unit - we looked great on paper, but that was it. As soon as I was in my teens, my parents couldn't wait to sell the family home and take off for a retirement community, though they also weren't all that social, either. They barely paid attention to their grandkids - just the obligatory gifts and family dinners, where all was so strained and forced. They thought about themselves, really. Parents who put their happiness and interests first, while going thru the motions, though, of being that all-American upper middle class family. So, they sold everything that to me was cherished and headed south to a senior community, full of lonely seniors who chose that lifestyle. Know what I mean? They couldn't wait to get away from their grown kids and do their own thing, yet when the chips were down and their health was failing, they were stranded more or less, turning to visiting nurses and the like for care. It is odd about our society how things are turning like this and the close extended family just is a legend - like Big Foot. I have done lots of social political reading, and there are actually explanations - you are probably familiar, but it was some in governments plan, and they sure succeeded. Now all is backfiring, though. I know then I have stopped this family distancing with my own kids, thank God. My husband and I are very close with our kids, and vice versa. Many of our peers are the same, though most do not have relationships with their parents either. Maybe there is hope, eh? Nice meeting you! And though we differ, we are the same. 
I feel for you
My MIL died of cancer on Christmas Eve back in the 80s. My ex-MIL, whom I loved dearly, told me, "How wonderful. She died on the eve of the Christ child's birth. You can't ask for a more blessed event as she is definitely in the arms of the Lord."
This always stuck in my mind and made me feel a lot better. I'm not an overly religious person, but when I think of that, I get a warm and fuzzy feeling all over.
I hope everything gets better for you. Just remember that they will be going to a better place without pain, sorrow, or heartache.
I know how you feel....
I just got word that my dad had a brain aneurysm and had a stroke. Nothing but worry. Right now he seems to be doing better, which I am very thankful for. I will be thinking about you and wishing you the best.
I feel for ya, but it will get better! sm
I am at about 10 weeks now. For 2 weeks straight, I was taking a nap at 9:00 in the morning! Then I could hold off until about 1, now I can go a couple of days without taking a nap. Take it as a wonderful sign!
I had a miscarriage last pregnancy, wasn't tired and wasn't nauseous at all. This time I am so very tired and so very sick and I took both as a sign that all was going well this time and it is. Hope all goes well for you this time. Take care of yourself and take it easy!
I feel the same..
The show is fixed. I watched last seasons show, and the rivalry was there in the last episode. I will not watch it again. Sam was definitely better - and Uh? how many times has Marcel won? BTW, he could not even pronounce the Hawaiian foods properly.
I feel bad for her
She lead a rough life and I feel bad for her and her daughter, who will never know her mother or her big brother. She will forever be known as a "who's your daddy" baby because of ghouls who can't mind their own business. I hope Anna is finally at peace.
yep - sure feel the same way!!!
I, too, remember all the lyrics (or most of them).......GREAT GREAT MEMORIES!!! :) 
That is how many already feel about
abortion being legal...it got on the books and has been a black mark ever since. Scarring. What victory are you hailing? The US is considered evil by many nations because of legalized abortion being practiced here. So the affect is greater than realized. Again, whose victory?
I feel for you
My heart goes out to you. I had an anorexic daugter for fives years which started at 10. She is 18 and is cured for the time being. Anyway you are doing the right thing calling the pediatrician and seeking help. Maybe a professional can talk to your husband. Once you get this help have patience it takes a long time for any results. My advice also would not to find any treatment they offer your stepdaughter. My daughter was hospitalized 3 time, and almost died. You have only a few years to work on this. Once their 18 they are their own when it comes to seeking help. Email me any time. I will be praying for your family. . I am so glad you see the problem.
I feel the same
way. I am getting tired of seeing Lucky so happy about his baby and it's not even his. It is starting to make me sick! I love Jason. He needs to take a stand. Also, I'm really ready for everyone to know who Jerry is and get it over with!
I feel the same way-
II was looking at renting an aapartment where everything is earth friendly and energy efficient and it sounds great but they have all these rules, such as you HAVE to recycle. I do recycle but I'll be damned if I'm going to have someone telling me I have to, especially if I am paying to live there. The little kid in me says "I was gonna do it until you told me to!"
I feel for you - sm
I'm sorry a few people jumped on your case. They shouldn't presume to know your entire situation. In my opinion, you asked a specific question and didn't deserve to have people criticize you like that. I had some issues too a couple years ago - mostly medical bills. I finally got them paid off a few months ago and very slowly my credit score is coming back up. Unfortunately, you just have to be patient, but as long as you make your payments on time now, your score should slowly come back up. Hope things work out. Good luck!
we should all feel the way you do; I know I do
If he is big in stature, as well as being a bully, he may respond better to a father in the neighborhood who may get invovled with him, when he is home alone. I am a single parent and am becoming more intolerable daily with people who do not take care of their kids and try to do the right thing.
oh how I feel for you - and I only have ....sm
I only now have night sweats - and I hate it, every night I tear off what I am wearing during sleep....and that's with the a/c on.....*laughs*.....neck, upper chest area is the worst.......drenching sometimes (tho not all the time)....
thanks for the heads-up on the new HRT method(s)....
Do exactly what you said you feel like doing--sm
and then get yourself out of it (marriage). If it has been less than 2 years and he is doing this already, then he will not stop. Do not subject yourself to a lifetime of misery. You stated all the reasons for not having to stay. You will find your happiness elsewhere. Just consider this a poor choice in your early life and move on. Nothing but a speed bump. There are better men out there...somewhere. Good luck to you!!!
You can feel better.
Have you tried talking to a professional and unburdening yourself?
My parents were also distant when I was little, and I confess that now that they want to be all nice and lovey, I think it feels odd and unnatural. I appreciate their fine qualities as people, but I feel like when I was weak and needed help, they left me feeling alone. Now that I have a husband, he is the emotional support that they never were. I don't hate them or anything, but I am baffled that they want more closeness now.
No, I feel exactly the same
I read somewhere people ask if she eats, with such a small body and yes, I too noticed that huge head- you just cannot get past that head to listen to her. I turn the television each time she comes on, irritating really.
I really think you would feel much better...
if you confronted her about it. Get it off your chest, so to speak. I know it can be so hard to be what is perceived as mean-spirited or confrontational (most of us hate confrontation), but I promise you that you will get a lot out of it if you go to her and tell her that it's so unfortunate that she didn't value your friendship and used you that way. Make sure to rise above it emotionally by letting her know that she threw away the best possible friend she could have ever had. She's the loser in this, not you.
I feel bad for you
that you have to insult people. you are not being forced to read this board. Like the OP said we do put names on our post. If you have nothing better to do than to look for posts like these and put people down,it does not say much for you as a person. Try to have a nice day :)
I know how you feel!
Today has been a nice break, since it's 88 and somewhere around 40% humidity. It's hoooomidity that gets to ya! I've had more folks tell me that I don't know what heat is like, because I'm from the north. But Philadelphia sits right next to a big bay and the ocean isn't that far away. We usually have humidity pumping over us all summer long. It just zaps the energy right out of you, doesn't it?
I have a friend who married a guy from central Texas. For the first 12 years of their marriage they lived down there, and when I'd visit and it was 100 degrees there, everyone would ask how I was making out in their heat. "Fine!" I'd say. It wasn't a springtime romp, but without the big wet humidity blanket, it was tolerable. They didn't believe me, and my friend told me to leave it alone, "They just don't believe that Philly gets hot." Well, they moved up her two years ago, and all summer long, her husband tells me, "You people were so right! This is awful!" He's always dripping in sweat!
Ahhh well! The comparisons can go on and on, I guess, until someone chimes in from an equatorial rain forest to put us all to shame!
As for me, I live in a 100-year old house with thick walls and lots of cross ventilation. We don't have a/c except for a room unit that we use for sleeping. The last week, though, has been a challenge. Eventually it'll break, and we'll be complaining about snow and ice here! LOL
I feel ya...
Milk here (GA) is almost $5 a gallon...well actually over $5 with tax! Completely ridiculous. Put your situation in the Lord's hands, you'll feel better! Prayers and hugs!
I feel for you!
I first want to commend you for stepping up to the plate and taking care of your stepdad when no one else will. I only hope he appreciates you for that. Can you contact Social Services to arrange for some home nursing care? You definitely sound as though you need some help with his ADLs. I recommend plenty of exercise and time for yourself if you can find it, a good stress release! Also I think a 5 or 10 minute guided meditation does wonders, but I realize that's not for everyone. Also, try Bach's Flower Remedy from health food stores. There's one called Rescue Remedy - a few drops on the tongue and you feel calm and peaceful and it's all natural.
And lastly just remember . . . this too shall pass !
I feel for you sm
I feel your frustrations. I'm sorry you have to go through this. I haven't had any situations similar to yours, but hearing about your BIL makes me angry. Sounds like he needs to be turned in. Is your sister scared of him? Maybe that's why she hasn't called you to tell you how she really feels. Mayb BIL has some control over her. I don't have any advice, but I sure hope things work out for you. Hang in there. I really hope your son realizes that he doesn't need friends like that. Especially the 20 something year old. He needs to pick on a crowd his own age.
Good luck.
Thank you. I need to just go do it. I feel
bad about being afraid to because some women would like to and might not be able to. Thanks again for your reply.
I feel for you....
I agree with the advice to try to talk to him and get to the bottom of it. I know that can be a hard thing with some men. Would he be willing to go to counseling? In the meantime, I would encourage you to find strong girlfriends to support you rather than guy friends. There's a way of having an emotional affair even when you don't have the physical one, if that makes sense. So it could be true that you're actually both distant right now.
I've been through divorce, and it's a very painful road for you and the kids. Yes, you do need to be a healthy mom for your kids, but that doesn't take away the enormous pain they experience as a result of divorce and the aftermath. You're in a very hard spot with no simple solution.
Clearly something needs to happen, and sometimes things get worse before they get better. I pray God will step into your situation in a dramatic way. Miracles do still happen, so don't give up hope. And regardless of what comes out of this, God can walk you through to a better place than you're in today.
Hang in there. Take positive steps forward. Email me if you ever want to talk.
Then I say just let him do it. I would feel sorry for him.
nm
I feel for ya...
My daughter had the same situation in I think it was 2nd grade, had long beautiful blonde hair, was a nightmare, and, yes, I posted in response to someone about this once and some kind soul responded to me, get a grip, it's just lice, she could get it at the theatre or church or anywhere...which is true but not the case here, this was a problem at school that they knew they were having and had been going on all year I found out later. I was pretty naive, had never seen them before, took her to the doctor to find out what it was! He said, yep, lice, here's some shampoo and get to work, got it cut out for ya unless you want to basically shave her head. I got it, too, because I used my brushes on her hair. Like I said, feel for ya, a real nightmare. Had to call the mother of her friend who had just spent the night that weekend and inform her so she could keep an eye on her daughter.
I kept her home and worked and worked and worked some more on her and everything I could think of. Luckily the rest of the family did not get it. Went to school to talk to the teacher, who said there was a problem with a family who had 2 girls, one of them in DD's class, and guess what, she sat next to my daughter. They had been sent home multiple times, too. I went to the principal and had a little conference, asked why no notes had been sent home informing parents there was a problem and was he aware that a school had been totally shut down not far away where everybody, including the teachers and their families, had lice. Apparently, he wasn't? said they didn't want to send notes because of privacy issues. Huhs? I'm not asking for names and numbers!! just to be informed to be on the lookout so we can be aware and get on top of it. After that, they did start sending home notes alerting about lice outbreaks. They also stopped making the kids put their coats and hats in a pile in the gym or at recess and told the kids not to share hats and coats, etc. I started putting her hair in really tight french braids and asked the teacher to move her to another seat. I kept it low key in front of my daughter, she felt bad enough, like it was her fault, and she cried every day as we sat and I picked the nits. I then understood the true meaning of nit picking!
Also be sure to take care of bedding, stuffed toys, favorite blankets, coats, hats, brushes, combs, etc. your bedding, blankets, pillows if been napping or such on your bed or siblings. I also worked on upholstered furniture, couch pillows, car seats, etc.
I feel bad for both of you
For him to go without being intimate for 3 years, yet want to stay in the marriage has to say something. I can see why he would reduce his requests to e-mail; being bluntly turned down day after day would have to tear him up. So then it comes down to WHY does he want to stay married to you? Because he really loves you and the kids, or is it another reason? I would suggest to try counseling again, preferably through a religious counselor. I think individual counseling might help too. You are in my prayers.
I feel bad for him too but (sm)
he has cheated many times in the past, was physically aggressive for years, beat me pretty bad one time, and gives me no say over any of our financial decisions or any decisions regarding where we live, where we go, what we buy, etc. He stays gone for days at a time without me being able to contact him via cell phone. He wants to stay because of the kids, but he doesn't see them all that much anyway and would see them as much or more if we divorced. I really think it is more about money.
I feel for you. .
I wish I had some good advice for you. . I've never been in such a situation so I just don't know what I would do. . I wish there was some way to help. .
I feel the same way.
Britney Spears - who gives a darn. She does this stuff for attention. Same goes for OJ Simpson. It's on the radio too. I heard Marion Jones 5 time olympiad is striipped of her medals for steroid use and will be jailed for 6 months. Why is this important? Don't ask me?
I don't know who to vote for as it's so confusing to me. I just know that it's time for a change. I am glad that regular citizens stand up for things that are important and have laws passed for our benefit as this is something that takes strength.
My Mom told me that the "war" media coverage was never so explicit when she was young and they never showed this gorey footage that can give us nightmares.
I want those men and women back here where they belong. World peace is something good, but sometimes these countries need to figure it out for themselves.
Times are changing. I wish utilities and gas prices could come down just a tad. I think we live in a "I must have" kind of society now and the things that mean the most have surely been forgotten. It's dog eat dog!
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