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You know sometimes my husband doesn't want to go to my family things either...

Posted By: MtMommyof2 on 2008-11-26
In Reply to: What do you do when your husband...sm - blondie_1147

and I have learned that if he doesn't want to go, don't be mad, just go without him...It is better to go alone then have to sit there with him while he is moping about being there. I understand your frustration and maybe your husband knows something will set him off and start a fight and he doesn't want to do that to you. Maybe he is really thinking of your feelings.


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LOL, yeah sometimes you *do things like that for family*...
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Exactly. The husband doesn't just
get to decide the wife & kids HAVE to leave THEIR house just because he says so...
In my husband's family...
everyone has the first initial J, parents and kids.  I always thought it was kind of cute.
I'm telling you after years of living with the same family - they figure things out! sm
For example, he knows that if I am going somewhere with the kids, he probably can't go, but if he sees that I am alone and pick up my keys, he heads for the door with that look in his eyes! It's like he is trying his best to convey a telepathic message - "I want to go!!"
My husband doesn't wear his wedding ring
or any jewelry for that matter. He's allergic to gold and can't even wear a watch. I suppose he could wear silver, but to me it's no big deal. He will wear it on special occasions but his hands swell up. I also know some men who don't wear it when they're at work if they run machinery, ect where it could get caught and get their fingers ripped off.
Oops the movie is 1408, I guess MT stars doesn't like things in quotation marks. nm
x
Ok, I just asked my husband, and he doesn't do it anymore because it stopped working
He said that he kept e-mailing them to get a new scanner, but they never sent him one, and their customer support is horrible. He said that he finally stopped doing it a few months ago because he gave up on them.
My husband does the same types of things
He does almost all of the cooking (he is a much better cook than me), helps me clean, and does ALL of the grocery shopping! He also helps me with the laundry and makes me coffee every morning. Since he works outside of the house and I work from home, he usually goes grocery shopping on his way to work. I mean, he even does "tampon runs" for me! LOL! I feel so lucky!
I was totally accepted by my 1st husband's family but

when I married my second husband, I was never accepted by his mother. Of course, she didn't even like my husband. The rest of his family accepted me and that was all that mattered.


The funny thing is...when she was dying, she asked me to forgive her for all the nasty things she did to me and of course, I did. It wasn't her fault she was like that. Life made her that way.


Between the 2 MIL's, I'd take the first hubby's mother any time. We spoke and visited even after the divorce, even invited them to parties we (2nd husband and I) because he liked them too. . . and they always came. I miss them.


I would have a family meeting with kids and husband.
Your husband should be able to have what he wants and he needs to voice this to his children. It will make it a lot easier for you when the time comes if everyone is on the same page.
Hey, have at it. If you want a lazy, apathetic, not affectionate, doesn't listen, doesn't make
can reach him!!! Let me know if you're interested.
It doesn't make me mad but it doesn't sound intelligent either (sm)
I am sure if all of those people who were aborted were living, some would be good and some would be bad, in the same proportion as there is good to bad now. Your statement makes no sense. So somehow the babies who were aborted were meant to be aborted because they were bad seeds? Whatever. Sorry, that's just silly.
It doesn't always work that way though - some give but it doesn't come back like that nm
x
Family is great but I am never back in my hometown where family is... So I always have extended fami
You can always pick your friends your stuck with your family. An Xmas for me is where my husband and kids come home to. It is what you make it!
Summer. Friends or family? Family. Tired or Awake?
x
I've heard good things and about things about taking prednisone. My mom was on it for SM
for awhile and it made her look so swollen.  I sympathize with you.
Big difference between family values and family jewels, eh? lol
LOL. I love this show. I think Gene and Shannon and her sister are a riot! What characters. It really is amazing to me the kids seem so laid back and so normal. They seem like great kids.
Does your family still do the early Sunday dinner w/family?
s
SIL family, us and another family snacked,played
x
Does your husband or significant other do this? Just now, at 7:30, my husband came home from sm

playing sports with a friend.  After showering he comes downstairs naked and tries to start a conversation with me. My "office" is in the living room and he is standing in back of the couch so I can't see any private parts, just him without his shirt, but I can see enough to know he clearly is naked! I think he wants me to be amused or get turned on or something, but I'm not amused one bit. In fact, I keep working and basically ignore him.


Poor guy. I swear he thinks he's Vince Vaughn or something. I should at least smile at him but all I want to tell him is to put some clothes on! ugh!


Things you're afraid of vs. things you're not
I didn't used to be afraid of spiders, but I seem to have developed a fear of those little beasties. I also can't stand boats, water deeper than my hot tub and bridges. I'm also fairly convinced that UFOs, if not aliens (well, isn't anything driving those things?) are real, so that kinda scares me, yet it is strangely fascinating. I'm also afraid of El Chupacabra, though I'm very certain that's not real. It's one of those "hahahahaha" fears. 

Things other people fear that I do not include snakes (awwww, they so cute! they look like they're smiling!), rats, gangbangers (except Mara Salvatrucha, move them up to my "scary" list), poverty, death, traveling at high rates of speed with almost anyone sober, bats (CUTE!!!!!), homeless people, Sasquatch, most of my male friends, bears, mountain lions. 


Fear is such an odd thing, don't you think? So much of it is relative to our own experiences in life, yet at the same time some of them are downright irrational. 


So, how 'bout you? What will send  you running screaming in the other direction, and what things can you take care of when someone else goes running screaming in the other direction?


That actually doesn't look that bad!
I love pork especially at a pig roast...by the end of the day the meat just falls off the bones it is so tender. Doesn't look too terrifying!
Doesn't take much to get you going does it? nm
x
If a dog doesn't have anything
to do, he will occupy himself. His thing is barking, which isn't fair to the neighbors. I had a neighbor who'd let his laborador bark for hours on end while I was trying to work. Almost drove me insane. To catch a break I'd occasionally take a rawhide, stuff all the cracks with peanut butter, and throw it over the fence. Ah, blessed peace for a while.

Cesar Millan has a website. I'm sure you can get lots of ideas there. It's all about exercise, discipline and then affection. You have to communicate your leadership and also use up his energy and teach him what it is you expect of him.
Why doesn't she get her own
It sounds to me like she wants you to pay her bills.  She'll have to find a job and get a roommate like any one of us would.  Why should you compromise what you have with your boyfriend when she'll be coming age very soon and can be out on her own?  Let her know she's welcome to visit or whatever, but you'd rather see her pursue her own living quarters. 
That is my mom, she just doesn't get

it.  She also thinks it is because of my husband.  Nobody is good enough for me.  Doesn't matter who it is.  She has been telling everyone it is because she will not lend us money.  My husband and I both work our butts off and have never borrowed money from anyone but the bank. 


My brother and I have not been the closest and about two weeks ago, I called him.  I now believe that a lot of reason why we are not close is due to my mother.  He is four years younger and I was out of the house by the time he was 13.  I always got my mother's point of view of what was going on with him and I should have known better.  She told me he doesn't talk to her because she won't lend him money.  He and I thought we didn't have a lot in common, so most of the communication was between him and my mom, then mom would "tell" me.  He doesn't want her to see his son either, but being that he is divorced, his ex-wife allows her to see him.  He said that she was always intervening in his life, no matter what it was.  She kicked him out of her home when he was 15 and he has never looked back.  He now has his PhD as a recent graduate and is very successful.  We both believe it is a control issue with her. 


That leads to this, I have researched grandparents rights as well.  In Michigan, as long as the parents are married and fit parents, grandparents have no rights.  If you were never married, separated or divorced or worse yet, proved to be unfit, then they have rights to see the children.  Something to think about.


He doesn't like going out...
im at a loss because I am a social butterfly and I want the man that I love with me all the time. Don't get me wrong i LOVE my girls nights out, but I want him there sometimes. I think this is one of the main issues holding me back from getting married. I do respect that he doesn't like to dance, or go to bars... but he doesn't even like to go to my friend's houses... He is a little on the shy side and I have been with him 6 years (and we have known each other since we were in 7th grade - about 15 years-, lived down the street from each other...) And I can't see myself without him but I know this is keeping me from marrying him because I want that socialization. Even when we have a family I almost am positive I am going to want to have friends over with their kids... bbq's in the summer... stuff like that and he just isn't like me at all in that way. How do I deal with this? Oh yea even if he is willing to compromise I feel like he hates it though and that is still really hard for me to deal with. If he is just sitting there not having fun that's almost worse than him not coming at all... :( we are at a crossroads right now and that is why i am asking. we either stay together or dont...
I think the same way - if the OP doesn't
like the smoke, then she'd best look elsewhere. It's not fair to say "smoke outside" when they are paying the rent, too.  Some people just amaze me!
mine doesn't...
I make Paula Deen's southern cornbread dressing...go to Food Network's site and look up the recipe.  It's yummy, has no meat whatsoever, and makes a ton of dressing...HAPPY HOLIDAYS...
My mother's doesn't either...
Made with Pepperidge farm stuffing mix, white wine, mushrooms, celery, onions, chopped walnuts, seasoning. Not sure what else but it's different and delicious, still the best I've ever had!
Doesn't sound right
under those circumstances. Then whenever someone wanted new wall-to-wall they could just crap it up themselves and submit a claim and get a new rug.

At any rate, even if this is somehow true, the insurance company will only jack up your rate or drop you all together, so you're going to pay either way. And then you'll have a claim history and no other company will want you either.
I agree, it's more than just pot. Pot doesn't do that. sm
I have heard that taking Niacin helps clear out of your system faster as well as trying to "sweat" it out like he is. He also needs plenty of sunshine and you to be there for him. Rather than turning against him, stuck together with him and help him through it. It will make your relationship so much better in the long run and he needs the love and support of you to help him get to that place. Admire him for trying to break his addiction. It is very addicting. His rollercoaster of sweating, can't sleep, and emotional issues sound more related to crack/crank or methampetamines to me. I'd tell him in order for you to be supportive and helpful to him right now, he needs to at least be honest with you.
I can't tell the difference when something has MSG and when it doesn't. nm
x
I am not saying my hubby doesn't look
he just doesn't let me see him looking. Hey, I still look too.
He doesn't like the masks...
my DD has taken over the mask and my kids like to sleep with fans now too. I just turn them off before I go to bed.
She doesn't impress me though
Just something about her... She's like never smiling. Even when he gave her a rose last night, she just looks mad. Could just be the editing.. maybe there's something about her he does like. I think he might like Tessa... and Amber. I can't believe I let myself get into this show again.
With our experience, he doesn't need
We have bought several homes and I have been an IC MT the entire time. I have never had this ask of me. They just want to know what my income has been, as they know being self-employed can mean different amounts from paycheck to paycheck. Of course, if your husband is empoyed somewhere, they will put more thought into that
(they just don't say it). I had loan officers just start talking to my husband as if I'm not in the room just because they hear self-employed and know my husband is not....so they think he'll be the REAL one bringing in a paycheck. So, my husband brings them back in the game, as do I. We let them know both of our checks contribute to this mortgage, not just his. I've noticed the women loan officers are the worst with this, even though you would think they wouldn't be. We both have excellent credit scores and make sure this is the valid point we get across. Just make sure you are not overlooked as being an essential element in this deal. Generally, all the loan officer can go by is what you have made in the past few years, not what you may make in the future as an IC, because as an IC, you may not know what that paycheck will bring or if you'll even be with the same company 6 months from now. But again, I have never had this asked of me.
It all has to start somewhere doesn't it?
xx
But that doesn't apply to every
situation. In my case I got hit with something that was out of my control. I see where you are coming from because most times it is irresponsible spending and debt accruing that causes the problem but not always.
My mom doesn't like when mine rub against her, either

and she doesn't like that the neighbor cats in the development kill the birds at their feeders and also the baby rabbits.  I don't especially like that aspect about them either (our 2 stay in the house 24/7) but it comes in handy in the house when we have a mouse.  I know of people who go out of their way to hit a cat on the road and I think that is so disgusting.  Makes me sad because of how much I love my cats. 


What is funny though is that my male cat gravitates to my mother whenever she is here.  He will just sit by her chair and stare at her with his big, golden, unblinking eyes.  It really freaks her out!


He doesn't really look like he has aged all that much
in the last 10 years or so. I think he looks almost exactly the same as he did way back in his ER days!
Ugh, doesn't sound
too fun! Don't want to go to the hospital. That's why I figure it's past time to quit. My son is scared of me dying anyway. I told my husband no need in making his fear come true!
Why doesn't your son work? (sm)
I understand with all those children it may not even be worth it for the mom to work (child care would take all her earnings) but why doesn't your son work? Sounds like my sister. She has been living off of my parents for years.
It doesn't look sore, red or anything. Just
xx
How do you know he doesn’t like you/kids
You said he kept things under wrap. Your mother should not have to choose between you/your children and her husband. How old a person is he? Other things going on with him/them that you know of? Lot of people in older years PUT UP with children- that does not mean they want to be around them. I know you said you did not stay at the home with them. Do not ask your mother to choose, though. That is probably the reason she has not answered you. You as well as your siblings probably picked the ones you want and may not believe this but if left up to your mother and she had to choose, it might not be you and your family.
Thank goodness he doesn't eat
anything in front of the window, he just swoops, grabs and goes. He uses my front yard as sort of a "drive thru" I guess. He is a very pretty and majestic bird. I've tried to get pics of him, but my camera doesn't zoom far enough.

We also have Great Horned Owls that live in our pine trees out back. All through the summer I would hear them hooting. So I staked out the window one night so I could maybe get a peak at them and I actually saw one of them fly out of the tree, it was huge!

I just feel bad for my little feathered friends. I guess that's nature though.

Sorry for rambling, love to talk about my nature.
Doesn't bother me
For some women it takes more than soap and water. Not a biggie.
Doesn't bother me at all either
Some people need it. It's really no big deal.
Doesn't everybody use foil now?
I have never seen the other process done; just heard about it. I'm sure the foil is less physically stressful to the hair.
I bet the OP doesn't consider it "nothing."
x
No, doesn't take masses...just 1.
I think you're thinking of the voting thing...I'm talking about the straight up report now button.