You have the right attitude, everybody should live like that...nm
Posted By: abc on 2008-11-13
In Reply to: What we do - - millie
nm
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I'm better than you attitude from
I guess I am getting hormonal but sometimes my beloved family gets to me. I have a cousin that had a baby about a year ago and she doesn’t want her child around my children because they “go to daycare and she does not want them getting her child sick.” Okay, if that is the way she wants it then that is the way she can have it so I don’t go to her house. Well, she calls and says she has something for my child who is a 3 months older than her child asked if I could drop by and pick it up. I said I could but I had my 5 yo with me, my little one was with her granny. She said that’s okay just come get it so I go over there and we visit for a while. My 5 yo child was interested in looking at her baby cousin says “don’t touch her, don’t go around her because you go to daycare.” I told her well, she has had a bath. (This was when her baby was about 4 months old.) She said I don’t want your kids getting mine sick. Well her child is now 1 year old and it has had ear infections, stomach bug, just about everything that goes around and she was telling me about it, I told her well my little one was sick last week but she got over it already. She says “well your kids are going to get sick, they go to daycare. I have to protect my child." She says my 5 yo is too rough with my 16 mo. She does get rough but if you call her down she stops and she has mellowed since dd was first born. She says my 5 yo was too wild. Actually she is not. I have had her in daycare and I this year she started pre-K and I have yet to have anyone say that she was a discipline problem. I asked the daycare provider even and she said she doesn’t have any problems with her, just the typical 5 yo stuff.
Another thing, as worried as she is about her baby getting sick….the other day I go over to her house because she said she had sold my piano (with permission, her mother was buying her a dining table and she needed more room) and the buyers had left the check with her. She had clothes stacked up on all her furniture, dried food on the baby’s highchair, papers scattered everywhere, diapers falling out of the trash can, dried food on the baby’s walker and bouncy seat.
I think those daycare comments bit her in the butt though. One day, after I dropped my little one off, the director of the daycare asked me if I had seen cousin’s baby lately. I told her no that I don’t go around her because she said my kids are germy and go to daycare. The director stepped back and said “oh bull” I swear did not know that later that day my cousin was going to apply for a job there so her kid could stay for free but the daycare director turned her down. My cousin told that she went over there to look for a job. I did not tell her about the conversation I had with the director earlier that day.
I usually like my cousin but it just seems that since she had this baby she seems to think her stuff doesn’t stink.
What a sad attitude!
I'm sure your attitude was formed by your life experiences, and I'm sorry that the men in your life have not treated you better. My life has always been full of the most wonderful men, and I can tell you that there are lots and lots of good ones out there! I am the youngest of 7 and the only girl. My neighborhood growing up was just full of boys, but only two girls lived on our street. I'm married to a fine man, have three nearly grown sons who are also fine men, and have more male friends than female friends. I'm also an assistant scoutmaster with a boy scout troop where our goal is to help boys travel a path into an honorable manhood.
I'm also a firm believer that a wonderful relationship between a father and daughter sets her up for good relationships with men all of her life. I was lucky to have an amazing father who made sure I knew how valuable I was to the world.
I also think it's true that when we have self-respect, we attract respectful people. I know that not all men (or women) are good people. When the bad ones come along, they can steal away our confidence and self-respect. It's a hard fight to build ourselves back up after bad relationships, but it's not impossible! And believe me, there are just as many good men lamenting about not being able to find a good woman!
with that attitude you won't have it sm
handed to you for too long! You will get older and he will get tired or your self-serving, you owe it to me attitude.
If your neighbors are like you then you really must live in one miserable neighborhood..........at least miserable for normal people!
What attitude? I just did not understand
when you said we, I knew only females got pregnant or thought they did anyway and I had no idea you were meaning your husband was pregnant also or whatever role he was playing. Does this also include the physician in the we being pregnant? Please enlighten me because when I was having children it was me that was pregnant but like I said maybe things have changed..I thought by saying we you were including females - had no idea you were talking a male.
btw, with your attitude, if you have daughters
I'd be willing to bet they would have an abortion behind your back rather than suffer your judgment by having a baby at a young age or out of wedlock. Would that feel good on your conscience? You could be missing out on the joy of grandbabies!
Nice attitude, there. Can we apply that to MTs, too?!
nm
Exactly, he will find a way, and don't be surprised at how his attitude changes.
When I ran out of money and into debt over him, he was becoming friendlier and friendlier with other women. He also would "pout" and get so depressed when he didn't have money. Well, he knew how to work that because there I was, the caretaker wanting to make him so happy so he would love me so I'd borrow money to give to him. It makes me want to throw up now and I'm sick just thinking how dumb I was. Please smarten now. Real men don't borrow money from a women. Bottom line. Your not married.. move on. JMO
Amy, I hope your better than everyone else attitude gets an adjustment soon!
Big deal, so you could do it. Kids need more than beans and potatos on the plate! Calm down sweetie, that's what assistance is for; don't begrudge others who have had to resort to it. It takes a lot more courage to ask for help than to try to scrape by on your own.
your Trailer Park attitude is probably not helping
nm
attitude: going to the Christmas program with hate in your heart. More important you watch that,sm
than your kids still believe in a mythical fat man who brings presents.
I do live in Arkansas - my parents live up in Branson so I'm in Missouri quite often!
x
Calling all you animal lovers - live and let live or intervene? - sm
I have a dilemma. I am an animal lover and have something I cannot come to a conclusion about. At a restaurant where I eat lunch every Friday with a friend of mine, I have noticed a young male kitty hanging around outside looking for food. This past week he ran up to my friend and rubbed her legs and quietly meowed. I purposely did not try to pet him because I knew I would get attached and ignored him. Well, ever since then I find myself thinking about him and wanting to rescue him. Meanwhile, I already have 4 inside cats (2 rescues, 2 Maine Coons) and hubby really does not want another cat in the house because a few years ago I promised we would never have more than 4 (had up to 5 at one point previously). I actually have a huge screened deck he could stay on indefinitely because I do not believe in letting cats run loose for their own safety. I could provide plenty of food, a warm place to sleep, and veterinary care. At some point I would even probably work him into our household, but I just cannot do it at the moment. Just not sure I would be doing right by that kitty because I am sure he would be upset and confused for a good while as to where he was and what was going on, but is that better than being hungry and cold? I know there are lots of animal lovers out there. What does everyone think?? 
I'm a live-and-let-live person but had to draw the line
after I found HUGE holes in the walkway between my house and barn. I thought they were just little mice stealing grain, but then I spotted one and it was a HONKIN RAT! My poor olderly cat was out there with me at the time and saw it, and he hissed at it and ran away!
I asked for advice on what to do at a local agricultural board, because I have other animals and didn't want to use poison and conventional traps weren't working. They advised putting a large pale of water out with some seeds floating in it, figuring the rats would go for the seeds and end up drowning. That was a no-go because the water just froze up solid. I wound up reluctantly going with Decon because I just can't have my house destroyed. I haven't had seen any more rats or evidence of them stealing grain, so I'm guessing they have died. The guy at the grain store promised me the rats would not die in the building and stink the joint up, rather they would crawl off and die outside. I don't know if I believe that, as it is still winter here and decomposition would be holding off until it warms up. We'll see, but at least the destruction has been halted.
Good luck and I too say have no mercy, because you just don't need them destroying hour house or causing a spark chewing wires and burnin' the place down. It is war!
 (How un-PC is this emoticon?!)
Wow!! What a great attitude! I love that - great perspective!
x
Make them live outside? This is so funny! Ours live outside, where they WANT to be. sm
Not all dogs want to be in "indoor" dogs, mind you. They have plenty of space to run around and play, fenced, and if they are brought in during bad weather they whine at the back door to go back out! So before you comment on outside dogs, you really need to get your facts straight. Seriously. Not all dogs are made or want to be inside all of the time.
Where do you live?? I live in Atlanta
and have been to the symphony here and definitely no hats- you can never go wrong with black dress/slacks. I like to dress a little more for this but the rules are definitely not prim and proper here.
I come from the old school, but live and let live - sm
Well, I tried "cohabitating" with a boyfriend when I was 22. We dated for a year, and 3 weeks after we moved in together, he went back to his ex-wife. Never again. I've been married 18 years now to the same guy. Guess I lucked out.
I don't think it's right to do in a biblical sense (even felt that way when I moved in with a guy but my young hormones took over my common sense) but it's sad more people aren't married, they choose to just live together without a great commitment. Then again, as my atty (he lives at the end of our street so I see him often when walking the dogs) always says, his father told him it should be $5,000 for a marriage license and free to get divorced.
As far as the children are concerned, well, I think you should be married before you have children but again, live and let live. I just don't like seeing children have to grow up without the other parent if it can be helped.
The NFL network recently interviewed a former NFL player, Warren Sapp. He was asked why we have so many jerks in the NFL like Terrell Owens, Adam Pacman Jones, etc. He said they all shared a common factor - no father or father figure in their lives growing up. He said to look at players who are humble and don't cause trouble - they are the product of a 2 parent household. It's sad to me because it's commonplace now, not the exception to rule, which I think it should be. I graduated high school in 1985 and even back then, a girl in school who got pregnant got sent away "to live with her aunt for a little while". It was a shame to be pregnant and unmarried but it's a sign of the times.
I sometimes wish I could have grown up in the 50s instead of 70s. :-)
You have? Where do you live??? lol
x
that would be everywhere, not just where I live. nm
nm
don't know where U live but where I live the 80+ y/o.
I know plenty of 80+ y/o people where I live (and I'm 25 years behind them...kinda sorta)....who are MORE active than many I know much younger. I see them going to the airports to jaunt around Paris/Spain, or just several times a year flying cross country to spend holidays with families, etc, etc. So if you see 80+ as *old* or *very old* - think again. It's an individual basis kind of thing, in my mind - OH AND BY THE WAY, none of the people I speak of have had plastic surgery of any kind and look FABULOUS!.........GOD BLESS 'EM!!!! Good genes - genetics - 
I you live in the
Pittsburgh area I know where you can find someone. Elsewhere..no clue. It is an avenue worth pursuing though.
How can you live with him?!
Honestly, you say you can't live without him, but yet he is mean and horrible! And think of what this is doing to your kids while you stay! The effects of living with an alcoholic may not be so apparent on the outside of your children, but believe my they are hurting! Been there, done that!
Advice: Get out now for you and the sake of your kids. My father was an alcoholic and still is to this day. After 15 years of marriage to him, my mother finally left and took us kids. Best thing she could have done for herself and for us! It was rough at first, but looking back I am glad she did it. She proved to me she was a strong woman and what a great example that you did not have to put up with the abuse from another person. My brother and I to this day have minimal communication with him. Well, at least I do. My brother has written him off!
Resources: A good lawyer and counseling for you and your kids.
I wish you all the best!
Not sure where you live........but
You're wrong. In this state, the teachers are not that well compensated, just the administration. THey do pay out of pocket for resources that they have put in for and supposed to have available that is determined by the school system, but supplies have not come in and they have to go out with their own money and order this stuff. They don't get answers from adminstration but still have to make sure they have the supplies ordered by the school system to teach the kids. The amount of work they do here is from 7 in the morning until 5 in the afternoon....no, they cannot leave when they want to. Most work all summer, either tutoring or summer school, or find summer jobs elsewhere just to make ends meet. I suppose it depends on the state one lives in, but here no teacher is retiring with 80K a year pension.
Others ought to live by this
My mother told us sticks and stones may break your bones but names will never hurt you. To try getting back at something so minute is the reason today why people are in such a rage. Another thing she told me- consider the source. Enough said.
I also live in AL - try these -
Caladiums and hostas would do really well for leaf color. Bleeding heart is so pretty as well! Happy planting! :-)
Who'd want to live there? Yuk.
nm
Do you live so far out in the
sticks you don’t have people called BABYSITTERS? Glad you had such a good time.
I live in MID TN too.
Has been a mess with the heat and humidity!!!!
I don't see it here where I live
Unless it's being hidden, all my friends have been married for years with no cheating issues. I don't know of any divorced couples in my circle of friends and/or acquaintenances. My parents have been married close to 50 years and I've been married for 16, no cheating here. Not saying it doesn't happen, because I certaily know that it does, but it's just not that way here.(Again, maybe it's hidden or maybe I do live in that bubble).
Can she come live with me
I'd love it if someone else did my laundry. To me she's just being a grandmother, but then again, I'm not there and can't see everything she does. I'd be happy she was so involved and that your daughter has a grandmother. So many of my daughter's friends don't.
Where do you live?
Hayseed where do you live? I'm in St. George Utah and it is the desert here but it is starting to cool down finally! Been over 110 all summer!
Where are you?
No, where I live we have them here
it is a cross between a bear and a deer- so it is a beer. And to think, I don’t even drink. That is a HAHA for today.
I live in
North Georgia and I have a huge medical center all around me with loads of physicians.
Ha, yes, I live in the
middle of nowhere in North Texas! I don't even know our population, but it's small! Maybe a more than 400, though, but not much! I have only been to 2 WOF also. I can't pick a favorite either and they are akk good. I didn't go this year, but when I went last year, I got to take my 80-year-old mom with me. We had a great time together-have really never done anything togather like that my whole life. It was great. Me, my mom, my best friend and her mom all went with our church. I'm actually off this weekend! Have a good day.
You must live near me
Because that is going around in my area.
Live in FL too
I miss the snow, change in seasons, bugs that don't attack when you step outside! When it even gets a little cool here, I am in Heaven. Tonight the temps will dip into the 40s. I am originally from Chicago, grew up in Maryland, but have been in FL for almost 20 years now, and I still yearn for the North, although I have two children there and two down here. I also cannot afford to go to Disneyland in Orlando because they recently raised the prices again, but have done that once, among other things. I think it is great you have such a wonderful house with a pool. The humidity here in the summer months is horrible!! You just wilt when you walk outside. Those people I know from up North envy where I live, but trust me it's not all it is advertised to be. Just would love some snowballs for Christmas:)
I am with you! I live in Fla and see it a lot.
Bugs me every time.
So they all 4 live there?
Why then do you only refer to *her*? It's both the husband's and the wife's responsibility to pay the bills...are you on his back also?
Where do you live?
NM
I know what you mean. I live in
Louisville and the 2 weeks before Derby is nothing but parties. If you don't live in an area with things like that going on for more than a day you don't understand. Don't get to do as much as I used to.
Hi, I live here -- sm
Are you moving to the beach? I have been here for 20+ years, be glad to share any information I might have to make your transition easier. You can email me if you would like.. welcome to the sunny seashore that is Myrtle Beach!!
I don't live very far from this.
It has been watched for some time. We are just happy it did not turn out to be another Waco.
Some of the resturant owners are surprised that most of them did not know what steakfingers are. lol. They grew their own food.
You must live near me - nm
nm
WHAT where do you live!?
let's trade LOL
If you could live anywhere...where would it be?
Some day I hope to move to Hawaii. I figure I won't have to travel a lot of see family cause everyone will want to come stay with me! One day I just want to pick up and go...sell most off my belongings and just start over.
Always thought Las Vegas would be a fun place to live, but I think it would get tiring and old after a while.
I live in MI ... 13,000?!
Where in Michigan did you find a house for 13,000? Is it a mobile home?
I don't think the cost of living is especially great here ether (in comparison to the wages earned).
Curious what part of Michigan and what type of house.?
Not too often, but we live about
45 minutes away from one set of nieces and nephew and about an hour and a half away from the other set. I don't think they would ever come just to stay with me, though. They are actually spending the night with their cousins, my kids. I'm just not that fun. 
The set that is 45 minutes away stays over about 3 times a year, the other set only 1 or 2 times a year.
If yours want to be at your house frequently, make sure they know that they are responsible for their own messes and hold them to it. It is the least they can do if you are feeding them.
My biggest problem with overnights is that one niece won't go to bed. I have actually, at this point, banned her from spending the night anymore. Maybe I'll come around some day, but not any time soon. She wreaks havoc on the rhythm of our house and it takes my daughter a couple of days to recover.
I think it is really nice that they want to be with you.
Live in WI
I live in northern WI and it is only my husband and I in the household. I think we spend about 75 a week. We used to spend less living in south-central WI, but found groceries are more expensive up here.....
I try to use coupons whenever possible. I definitely get more bang for my buck...
Where do you live?
Some companies sell their products regionally and they're not available everywhere. In SE Michigan we have Dearborn Hams and they're really good.
live and let live
It is better to be free when you are young, but what kind of freedom do you mean? Do you want to go to your kid's graduation when you are in your 60's? Your sister will have her freedom in her 40s, and you will be the one with the 4-month-old? Where is the freedom in that?
I don't think there is anything wrong with any choice you make. It is not making a choice that is wrong.
And you do not have to live with
someone you do not love, you want out of the marriage, your children are not fond of their father (poster's words)to be secure.
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