You have a lot to deal with here. I suggest (SM)
Posted By: FBL on 2008-09-04
In Reply to: Need advice again - Dementia (sm) - HappyCat
you take 1 issue at a time. You have a good list started...prioritize based on safety and legal issues. Re the will, POA, etc., download some forms from the internet or buy some...they are widely available. Fill out one of them as a draft, leaving blanks where he needs to give input. Then take it to him, go over it with him, and ask what he wants in the blanks. Then compile a final for him to sign and take him to have it notarized, if needed. Then move on to the next thing on the list. I wouldn't make a big deal out of anything, just make dealing with one thing part of your regular routine when you visit him.
Re the house, spend some time making a safe, clean space in it for him to live his daily life...kitchen, one bathroom, to start. Get and install any grab bars or other equipment he might need. Get him a medical alert necklace for his birthday. I found one at WalMart that doesn't require a monitoring service...it dials 9-1-1 in an emergency.
This is just a start, but that is what you need to do, just start. I hope some of these suggestions are useful.
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Suggest
For slow dancing - Best of my Love by the Eagles. Also for dancing, Marvin Gaye Live at the Palladium - I can't think of the name of that song; also Brick House, Play That Funky Music White Boy. I think Elton John would be good to listen to during dinner.
I suggest you get one!
This is even forcing people to keep company with a dog. Some people don't even know I have one at times; it is that inconspicuous. Look the other way if you don't like the idea. Some cities are very dog friendly just like some people. I feel sorry for people who can't enjoy their own life and have to bring others down with them. I have found that some dogs make better people than some people 
Would suggest Kne" :)
x
May I suggest
You try a holistic brand cat food with all human grade ingredients and no byproducts. Table scraps are fine and healthy as long as they are whole foods and not processed. Also cats do not have molars to grind their food, so dry food is not really conducive to their method of chewing. I only give holistic brand wet food. If you ever noticed when your cat throws up its food it is barely chewed, that is why, they can't chew it and have to swallow it whole mostly.
By the way I like your quote too.
May I suggest?
My daughter is a hairdresser. I have short straight hair, but she recommend to me a shampoo called Catwalk-Curls Rock. It can be used for curly or straight hair I also have color on my hair. I got a large 25.36 oz. bottle of the shampoo and the same size in the conditioner. They both have a pump dispenser on them.
What would you suggest?
Would anyone have suggestions for MTs looking for a higher pay rate? If one has good references, background, experience, and skills - what more can they do to earn a starting pay greater than 7 cents?
I agree that it is not much financially but with all things considered this seems to be the going rate these days for an MT with less than 5 years experience.
all i can suggest
is a green-apple spray. check with your vet and/or pet store. good luck!
What I would suggest - sm
I would send out either via e-mail or regular mail a little dinner invite and state specifically "no presents" on it. If people want to show up with presents anyway that is up to them, but you have stated your preference. I actually LOVE this idea!! Best wishes...
What I suggest - sm
There really is no comparison in my mind. My hubby had the snip when he was 30. It took no time at all, was done in the doctor's office with 1 Valium, he spent 1 day off work with an icepack, and was probably completely back to normal in about 5 days and even playing golf. He said it was no big deal. Several of our friends have had it done with similar experiences. It really is the way to go!
i would suggest
talking to your doctor. That kind of swelling can be several things, maybe even kidney problems. I am a bit older than you and 40 lbs overweight, but don't have the swelling. Have some blood work; get things checked out. you may be able to nip a much bigger problem in the bud.
Ha! I might suggest that to the poor
folks who still work there. This woman would probably put them on KP duty, though.
;op
I would suggest she also speak with
the hospital administration about this issue. I would think it is a definite violation not to have him in an isolated room, which would be indicated outside the patient's room. Not only are they being exposed, but the patient may be being exposed to other viruses in an immune-compromised state.
I would like to suggest one thing to you, OP...SM
Please talk with your husband and tell him that before he makes any more threats about military school or what the next step will be, that it is a decision that the 2 of you make TOGETHER. I have a DD with several psychological issues and what I find is that if DH and I disagree on anything, it's a weakness that she swoops in on. She is a product of your marriage, and your marriage should NOT be defined by her and if you two are not in agreement, that's exactly what will happen. I'll be thinking of you!
I was going to suggest the same things...sm
Next time he threatens suicide, call police and get him Baker Acted. Then mental health professionals can confirm what you suspect (true mental illness), or at least find him some outpatient resources.
If not, get restraining orders, at least your mom should.
I know it hurts because it's your dad, but it sounds like it's more than you can handle on your own.
Too funny, I was just going to suggest NOT doing that
Someone already has everyone's address or they wouldn't have gotten an invitation to the shower in the first place. I've heard rumblings at showers when this has been done and some guests just don't like it. Everyone has their opinion and not stepping on toes, but I think it's tacky.
Agree with everything else...the list of gifts for personal thank you notes is very important. And I had the paper plate with the ribbons. Games are always good, too.
Need gardening help. Can anyone suggest a flower sm
particularly one that will come back every year but doesn't have to, to plant in an old, antique bathtub? It's a standard size, sits in a lovely area under shaded trees. It's full of dirt already and I am looking to plant something resilient, yet pretty. The previous owners grew tulips, I believe, in them. I haven't done anything with this tub for 5 years and all of a sudden I developed this green thumb. I have planted gorgeous flowers all over my property and in really pretty containers. I've been spending almost all day outside these past few weeks. I live in AL if that helps you any. Do you have any suggestions? doesn't have to be all flowers - can be greenery with flowers. Like I said, lots of shade......Thank you!!!!!!!! 
Then I would suggest for clean water and
beaches you take them to Cancun. Florida has some bad water and beaches a lot of times. The water in Cancun crystal clear and the sand, no matter how hot it is, never burns your feet.
Want to buy DH IPOD. Can anyone suggest brands?
xx
You beat me to it! I was going to suggest Estelle Harris
and Renee Taylor (even though YEAH she was blonde). She has the nose but Estelle has the hair. LOL.
I was going to suggest taking a walk, but jumping around
aa
i suggest making an appointment with your doc ASAP sm
the health of you and the baby might be at risk...why take a chance? you already have enough to worry about and have 3 more months to go! i'm glad you came here for an opinion, but we're not practitioners...i think you need to get off your feet and talk to your doc stat!
Would suggest that Katrina be omitted, at least for a few years! :) nm
s
Odo Ban - I highly suggest it. The smell is terrific. sm
especially if you have animals, etc. My friend gave me hers as she bought it from Sam's Club and I love it. You get a gallon jug and then a sprayer. It's an all-in-cleaning. She even puts it in her towels when washing. I just am very pleased with the smell. Just a little suggestion if you are having guests this holiday season!
when u decide on a city, suggest contacting....
I'd call the Chamber(s) of Commerce of whatever city you decide to stay in and ask them the condition(s) of the area(s) post-Katrina.....just my opinion.
Have fun on vacation!!! :)
If it were me, I would go to Dr. Phil Mcgraw web site and email him. See what he would suggest.
.
Wanting to suggest a few movies this season. Right now the kids are watching sm
The Chronicles of Narnia and it is such a GOOD movie. Highly suggest this. Also, Elf with Will Ferrell is cute.
Polar Express is great also. With 3 little ones at home, anyone have any suggestions on good "holiday" type movies that won't bore a 4 year old? Thanks!
Can anyone suggest a nice name for a new male Maine Coon kitty?
He will actually be my 5th Maine Coon cat. I am getting him somewhat suddenly because someone else decided to wait for the exact color they wanted. I am fine with the way he looks - silver and white mackrel. What is a nice manly name for a cat? All ideas welcome. You all can always come up with something terrific!
Big deal....
Let her call your home and wish him a happy birthday. Is she hurting anyone. There are children starving to death in other countries and women being raped and killed and you have a nice warm house and beautiful children. Just let her be and let things happen as they will. We are not in control of things to begin with.
I would much rather deal with this
So they pass gas or burp. Big flippin' deal! Better than drugs, guns, and the like that pass through the doors of a school! Cut me a break... You people are outta control here. Parents allowing it? So what if they do? They can teach manners, but let's face it, kids will be kids, and sometimes it happens. That is just plain crazy to think that because your child farts in class that makes him the next serial killer! Paaaleeezzze!
So what? What's the big deal? You act like they want to
X
If you don't know what the big deal is....
This is a long read but worth it........
A National ID Bill Masquerading as Immigration Reform
by Rep. Ron Paul, MD
by Rep. Ron Paul, MD
Watch Ron Paul deliver this speech to the House of Representatives on video.
Before the US House of Representatives, February 9, 2005
Mr. Speaker:
I rise in strong opposition to HR 418, the REAL ID Act. This bill purports to make us safer from terrorists who may sneak into the United States, and from other illegal immigrants. While I agree that these issues are of vital importance, this bill will do very little to make us more secure. It will not address our real vulnerabilities. It will, however, make us much less free. In reality, this bill is a Trojan horse. It pretends to offer desperately needed border control in order to stampede Americans into sacrificing what is uniquely American: our constitutionally protected liberty.
What is wrong with this bill?
The REAL ID Act establishes a national ID card by mandating that states include certain minimum identification standards on driver's licenses. It contains no limits on the government's power to impose additional standards. Indeed, it gives authority to the Secretary of Homeland Security to unilaterally add requirements as he sees fit.
Supporters claim it is not a national ID because it is voluntary. However, any state that opts out will automatically make non-persons out of its citizens. The citizens of that state will be unable to have any dealings with the federal government because their ID will not be accepted. They will not be able to fly or to take a train. In essence, in the eyes of the federal government they will cease to exist. It is absurd to call this voluntary.
Republican Party talking points on this bill, which claim that this is not a national ID card, nevertheless endorse the idea that "the federal government should set standards for the issuance of birth certificates and sources of identification such as driver's licenses." So they admit that they want a national ID but at the same time pretend that this is not a national ID.
This bill establishes a massive, centrally-coordinated database of highly personal information about American citizens: at a minimum their name, date of birth, place of residence, Social Security number, and physical and possibly other characteristics. What is even more disturbing is that, by mandating that states participate in the "Drivers License Agreement," this bill creates a massive database of sensitive information on American citizens that will be shared with Canada and Mexico!
This bill could have a chilling effect on the exercise of our constitutionally guaranteed rights. It re-defines "terrorism" in broad new terms that could well include members of firearms rights and anti-abortion groups, or other such groups as determined by whoever is in power at the time. There are no prohibitions against including such information in the database as information about a person's exercise of First Amendment rights or about a person's appearance on a registry of firearms owners.
This legislation gives authority to the Secretary of Homeland Security to expand required information on driver's licenses, potentially including such biometric information as retina scans, finger prints, DNA information, and even Radio Frequency Identification (RFID) radio tracking technology. Including such technology as RFID would mean that the federal government, as well as the governments of Canada and Mexico, would know where Americans are at all times of the day and night.
There are no limits on what happens to the database of sensitive information on Americans once it leaves the United States for Canada and Mexico – or perhaps other countries. Who is to stop a corrupt foreign government official from selling or giving this information to human traffickers or even terrorists? Will this uncertainty make us feel safer?
What will all of this mean for us? When this new program is implemented, every time we are required to show our driver's license we will, in fact, be showing a national identification card. We will be handing over a card that includes our personal and likely biometric information, information which is connected to a national and international database.
H.R. 418 does nothing to solve the growing threat to national security posed by people who are already in the U.S. illegally. Instead, H.R. 418 states what we already know: that certain people here illegally are "deportable." But it does nothing to mandate deportation.
Although Congress funded an additional 2,000 border guards last year, the administration has announced that it will only ask for an additional 210 guards. Why are we not pursuing these avenues as a way of safeguarding our country? Why are we punishing Americans by taking away their freedoms instead of making life more difficult for those who would enter our country illegally?
H.R. 418 does what legislation restricting firearm ownership does. It punishes law-abiding citizens. Criminals will ignore it. H.R. 418 offers us a false sense of greater security at the cost of taking a gigantic step toward making America a police state.
I urge my colleagues to vote "NO" on the REAL ID Act of 2005.
February 12, 2005
Dr. Ron Paul is a Republican member of Congress from Texas.
Anyone else had to deal with this?
My mother has suffered from arthritis for years. She just turned 80 in May of this year. She's told me during the past week that her legs have gotten increasingly more painful - to the point that she can hardly walk to get to the bathroom. Today, she said if her legs aren't better the next time she goes to the doctor, she's planning to talk to him about going in a nursing home. I am really distressed about this - realistically, I've known the day was coming, since her home is not amenable to her being in a wheelchair full-time. I live 1200 miles away from her in a second floor apartment, so even if she wanted to come stay with me, that's not possible considering my current living situation. In my head, I know this may be the best solution, and that I probably couldn't change things even if I lived closer, but my heart is hurting!
This is the deal...
She and he lived in Minneapolis and me way down here. I BEGGED her not to marry him, BEGGED her, and she didn't listen. She is extremely, extremely intelligent and NEVER listens to what I say. Even her little bro, who is 16, tells her, "You should just listen to Mom, she may be a b**** but she knows what she is talking about." She is SO smart she got a 4-year full scholarship at a University in New Orleans, so now she's down here with me and he has less control, which is making him more psycho, but "sometimes" he's nice. "Sometimes he acts like he loves me." The only good thing is that she didn't get pregnant. Oooh, I am just livid. I can hardly type and I have to sit here and work for 8 hours.
I'm sorry you had to deal with that.
Dogs and cats can be criminal like that...torturing small animals just for fun.
Gross dogs though, let me tell you about gross. A friend was in bed, watching TV and having some tea and toast before taking a snooze with her dog, a Malamute, who also shares her bed. This lady was eating her toast while watching tv, not really paying attention. She thought she dropped a small piece of toast on the blanket, picked it up, and popped it in her mouth. Turned out to be a small chunklet of cat turd covered in litter, accidentally dropped there courtesy of you-know-who.
Yep, her dog, like mine, loves to sneak "kitty krunchies" out of the box and snack on them when no one's lookin'.
no big deal!
I think I would probably have a heart attack if I were ever bitten by a snake.. My dentist bought an old house that was inhabited by snakes. . he shot some, carried some out using sticks, played loud music and finally, after a couple of years, has managed to take over the house. . he has way more patience and courage than I would have.
What is the big deal??? They had to have
gas and he said he would put in 10. He did. When he gets gas for his car is his business. If he wants to stop every day for gas, how does that affect her??? If they fight over little things like that, doesn't sound like a good marriage to me.
I know I should not have to deal with this...sm
But see my mother refuses to talk to him. She doesn't take his calls. She will call the police if he comes on her property so she doesn't have to deal with him. I no longer answer his calls either. I don't answer my door if he knocks. But he will literally wait for you to go somewhere outside like he knows I have to leave an 2:45 to go get my son for school and that is his opportunity. It is can I use your phone? Can I have a bite to eat. Then its crying. When my husband is home he does not do this. He does not come over to my house at all. My husband is a truckdriver so he is away a lot. My mother has got on his a** multiple times for bothering me and my sister. She has went off on him. He doesn't pay any attention. She has went to the sheriff. My best friend's husband is a deputy. I have talked to him. As long as he is on his property and hasn't done anything they can't do anything. All I can do is move. Pure and simple.
to deal with her.
nm
Here's the deal
Ok, we'll start at first cousin, since everyone knows that.
Your kids and your cousin's kids are second cousins.
Your grandkids and your cousin's grandkids are third cousins.
The "removed" part comes into play anytime you're talking about different generations.
For example, you and your cousin's kids are first cousins, once removed.
Your children and your cousin's grandchildren would be second cousins, once removed.
Here's the deal..........
I did that for years. I was working all day and STILL felt because I was at home, I should be washing dishes, putting in a load of laundry, whatever needed to be done, but knew I had to work my shift as well or even my prn work....all the while the children were growing up.
Even my childeren got to where they thought if they needed something (not an emergency) or just wanted to interrupt, they could just feel free to do so... after all, if I didn't make my work a priority in my own head, why should they? Even my mother would call and say something like, "You still on that computer"?, as if what I did wasn't important.
I finally stopped all that nonsense. They got off to school, I sat down at the same time everyday (just as if I were in an office), no phone answering, no door answering. Even my husband would call asking me to look up something in a file for him as if I were his secretary (stopped that too!). You should have seen the look on their faces when they realized I was NOT going to have whatever piece of clothing they wanted washed that day, they would eat what I had time to fix and be glad they had it (no all day meal cooking). The door to the room was shut and unless there was an emergency, it was to stay shut until I came out.
I had already told my mother I wouldn't be answering the phone but if there was an emergency, I would always be screening the messages; otherwise, her chit chat time was on hold until my day was over and I had finished with what I had to do for the day. That woman would then actually get in her car and come across town to knock on my door, saying since I wasn't answering the phone, she would just come over, as if that was okay!! She just doesn't get it at all!! I'm at home, so I must not be actually working. The next time she done that, I didn't go to the door. She stood and knocked, rang the doorbell, even went around the house to the back door seeing if it were open. I didn't go to the door, she went back home, rang the phone off the wall several times that afternoon and when I called her back that night, she wanted to know why I didn't come to the door. She had called my husband at work to ask him why I didn't answer the phone or the door. he told her I had work to do and couldn't get it done jumping up and down all day long. He was finally getting it. He told her if I were in an office somewhere, I couldn't be sitting on the phone for personal calls, doing laundry, washing the clothes, or running an errand, and she STILL said she just needed to tell me something..... like it couldn't wait until later.
Sometime, you just gotta do what you gotta do. If you stop obsessing about what housework there is around and remind yourself you have a job to do, all the other stuff will get done AFTER your job is finished, not during, you will start feeling better about everything.
If you were outside the home in an office would you be doing any of that stuff? Trust me, it can and will wait. You will be more productive as well. Just stick to it.
My sister in law knows I'm swamped with work and she still calls in the middle of the day wanting to chit chat (she doesn't work and has PLENTY of money) about anything and everything, and when I don't answer the phone, she calls her brother (hubby) at work and wonders if there's something wrong, since I'm not answering the phone. Geeeze!
This is sooooooooooooo not a big deal!
I'd say just get over it and stop being so sensitive.
How do you deal with fatigue?
Do any of you suffer from fatigue? I mean being so tired, no matter how much sleep, you could just hit the floor and go into a coma? I thought it was the Lexapro I was on for about 6 months so I discontinued that. While there was a teensy bit of improvement (and that was well over a year ago I stopped it), the fatigue is back in full force. It is a year-round problem for me, certainly moreso during winter, but it is at its worst when I sit down to the computer.
Do you have any suggestions as far as if it could be something to do with my work space? It's clean and bright, almost always has a nice Yankee candle burning, and my chair is a typical task chair with no arm rests and I try to sit as upright as I comfortably can. My keyboard is a regular style, nothing fancy, but nothing hurts. Monitor is a flat panel LCD. I stay away from sodapop and only have 1 cup of coffee daily, otherwise it's water w/Crystal light, and I'm not taking anything for pills except a daily vitamin.
I'd certainly appreciate any tips or suggestions you might have. Thanks for taking the time to read this! 
So go over and have pizza..what's the big deal?
Not like she asked you to plan it or have it at your place and cook a meal. Maybe I'm not understanding.
And much easier to deal with
///
Also make a big deal
of the fact that he wears "big boy" underwear and that your toddler will get to do that too when he is big enough and potty trained. Apparently that worked wonders with me and my sisters.
I honestly don't see why this is a big deal
This is information which is already on file with the government. Every American citizen should have copies of all of this information.
When you hear something like this, always go to snopes.com and check it out. See the link below.
Don't worry about it. There is no deal.
The house doesn't meet your standards or needs, and you aren't interested.
Realtors are supposed to work for you. If you want to buy a house, she should be finding out what you want and bringing papers on homes to you for your consideration. Don't even think you have wasted her time at this point!
I had my Realtor show me every house in my price range in all of the north side of this town. She was great.
I have the same deal though mine are 7 and 9- sm
so in a few years it will get interesting, especially since the 7-y/o gets all the hand-me-downs (though right now she does not mind at all). She likes to help pick things out for her older sister because she knows in a year or so it will be hers (and still be in good shape too). I had to go and get the older one new pants, etc. for school and the younger one felt quite left out. I did let her pick out 1 thing (a dress she liked) and got her that; got everything on clearance/sale and walked out with a lot for $140. But for anything extra they want I make them earn the money and buy it themselves. They just pooled their saved money and bought a Wii, they also know even though they paid for it I control the play time on it (plus I am the rental agent on the games at the video store). Never too early to start teaching them to work for what they want.
Good deal...
I'm glad you talked to her and she at least seemed to be receptive. You certainly know her better than we do!!!
She's still a minor and it is your job to protect her whether she likes it or not. Hopefully she'll at least pick better boyfriends!!!
Maybe you and your mom could work out a deal - sm
where either she comes to visit YOU, (without the step-dad), or else she can arrange to have him out of the house, on a trip, etc. when you go to see her. Be honest and tell her that although you love her, and you know she loves the stepdad, that you and the kids are keenly aware that he doesn't like them, and it would be better for all concerned if they didn't have to have contact with each other. Then everyone could be happy, and there'd be no confrontations between the adults, and no emotional scars on the kids from his dislike of them.
Having the pain is usually no big deal,
lots of women have this and something excellent to take for this is Vitamin E- learned from a nurse, works almost immediately. I have suffered from that myself for years. I had breast biopsy (I located a big lump really right below the axilla, turned out benign). Of course it is usually scary but most of the biopsies, etc. turn out to be negative.
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