You choose to stay in this situation. Until you make
Posted By: decision to change this, it will continue, no surp on 2007-12-30
In Reply to: I'm sick & husband is being mean...just so tired of it - sm - crying all morning, just venting
x
Complete Discussion Below: marks the location of current message within thread
The messages you are viewing
are archived/old. To view latest messages and participate in discussions, select
the boards given in left menu
Other related messages found in our database
Why not give him some rings to choose from and let him make the final decision?
Some guys want to say they picked it out. Makes them proud to say they did so. Ultimately, it is not really about the ring, the wedding, or any of that. It is about how you two will live your lives together. Congratulations!
To make it stay that way
If you want everything on your computer bigger: right mouse click on your desktop background. A little box should pop up. Click on 'properties'. Then click on the settings tab. There should be a little sliding scale with the screen resolution. Move it to less resolution (left). Then click 'apply'. Your screen may black out for a second, but when it comes back, everything should be bigger. Certainly saved my eyeballs!!
You will make this situation WORSE IF
you don't get a handle on how you are thinking. If you can afford a counselor, you should seriously considering goign UNless you can quickly correct your wrongheaded thinking here.
You must stop thinking of your 17-year-old as a little girl. She is normal human being with sexual curiosities... You cannot implant your beliefs on her and whoever she chooses.
I dont mean to sound like any expert or without compassion, but facts are facts. You weren't prepared for this eventuality and now you are over-reacting, perhaps in part because of who she chose.
Do you want to drive a large, perhaps permanent wedge between the two of you? You cannot undo the deed - so now is the time to make SURE to be someone she will LISTEN TO about birth control (even though she didn't take your advice about sex...)
If neither has a job, apparently nothing else to do but stay home & make babies. nm
x
Of course they choose the most vulnerable--sm
women to prey on. If they chose a stronger woman, their controlling ways would not work. My ex did the same thing regarding the counselor. He went to two visits, said the counselor was a quack, and he would not go back. Anything that was ruined or destroyed during his anger fits were my things...never his.
as far as leaving...I had three kids to take care of, and survival was an issue for me too, but it can be done. Please do not just stick around because you fear not being able to take care of yourself and your kids. You are basically doing that now and you would have less stress to deal with. My kids were small too, two in school and one not. I HAD to do it, or I would be dead today. My ex husband never changed his ways...never. He took his own life when he could not control his last wife the way he controlled the others. I would never say this to my kids, as they were devastated when he took his own life, but between you, me, and the fencepost (Lord forgive me), I feel he was a coward. Rather than change his ways to make HIMSELF happy, he chose to end his *suffering*, with no regard to who he left behind to deal with their own suffering. It is hard. It is a big step to leave, but it gets better with time. Trust me on that. I make good money now and take care of ONLY me. My kids are grown and on their own, all with anger issues of their own, and I worry about that. But please, please, don't stay where you are just because you fear not being able to take care of yourself. God provides. Just ask. and that is the truth. good luck to you. If you wish to email me, you can. God Bless you and yours. May he give you strength and peace. You deserve nothing less.
We do have a choice. We can choose to keep our
undies on and not engage in sex or we can choose some form of birth control (albeit it fails from time to time).
CHOOSE not to take it so personally
The key word here is "elderly" - remember she is the one with the ailment - and she's not THINKING this might hurt Kimmie's feelings. She's frustrated with the problem and the fact that what you got didnot work for her - and she's probably being considerate in paying you.
Have you considered that you may be looking for reasons to be offended?
You can CHOOSE to see this whatever way you want. If you feel real hurt was intended then you deal with that directly: Aunt ___ I felt a bit hurt by your response to ____.
COMMUNICATION is a great thing when we do it - and it always takes at least two.
Good luck! P.S. what was the stuff you got her? I might be able to use it!! :)
Whatever it is you choose to wear...
just make sure it compliments the bridal party's ensemble.
It doesn't necessarily have to be a solid color, but if you choose a dress with floral patterns, make sure it doesn't clash too much with the MOB or the rest of the bridal party.
Go here (but in case it does not show) Smarter.com and search mother of the groom dress. It will give you several online stores. At least you can get an idea of what you might want.
http://www.smarter.com/---se--qq-mother%2Bof%2Bthe%2Bgroom%2Bdress.html
HMR is better - and you can pick and choose
My mother got NutriSystem and most of the meals are unpalatable and I can eat about anything (some were okay). HMR is actually good. Difference is breakfast consists of shakes/cereal.
We have 9 to choose from, not including
xx
P.S. as you are divorced, it is YOU who can choose
with whom of your in-laws your children have contact.
I believe we are still free to choose our battles here.
Just because you are an all-or-nothing gal doesn't mean I have to be!
:)
I feel bad for you but did she choose DNR status?
My father died last year and he was a DNR and had a Living Will stating *no heroic measures* - at that point they oinly do *comfort care*.......
Very sorry for your experience!!!!! *gentle hug*
Choose the correct path
You are walking down a road and you encounter a fork in the road and you do not know the correct way to go. There are two men standing at the junction and both know the correct road. One man always lies, and the other man always tells the truth, but you do not know who is the liar and who is the one who tells the truth. You can only ask each man one question, but it must be the same question for both. What is the question that would allow you to get the information necessary to choose the correct path?
You are all so creative! I need help! I will choose the best answer sm
and so I hope you can help us!! My husband and I teach an adult Sunday School class married couples class. We need to come up with a catchy name to put in the bulletins, on-line, on the screen in the sanctuary to let others know about our class. We can't come up with anything! One couple suggested Married Rockstars! How hilarious is that? Of course, my husband and I don't look anything like rock stars. Couples of all ages and personality types come to the class. Can you think of anything?? It's been 2 weeks since we've been trying to come up with something! The ages range from 25-45 or so. Thank you so much!!!!!!!!
If she wants to choose whether or not a baby results from sex
then she better choose to block that sperm from reaching the egg, because if it does, well then, a baby may very well result from sex. I mean, I understand when it's very, very early, but come on, abortion has really been taken way, way too far, to the point of murder of a full-fledged baby, and some people think, hey, that's okay, it's the mother's decision.
We all have a right to choose how we spend our time (sm)
If that makes you happy then fine. That would not make me happy. I am not "simpering" or helpless. Also not a slave.
I would choose the ISS because the paddling is ineffective.
If all the kids are choosing swatting, obviously, they see it as the lesser punishment. Your daughter is very concerned about school, and you described her as a type A personality. So now here's the opportunity to teach her to put things in perspective.
I think ISS is a more appropriate punishment. She was wasting class time by being late to class. I think 5 tardies is substantial. By age 14, she should be able to get herself to class on time and start building up some self-control when it comes to the chit-chat. So, since she wasted time, she should have to pay time back. That comes at the expense of the class she is so concerned about. A lower grade may indeed be the lesser consequence, but is she going to fail out of school and never get into college and end up homeless on the street because of the lower grade in one class at age 14? No. Certainly not!
As a parent, you need to look at things long-term, because kids can't. You also need to steel yourself for the major melt down she will probably have if you don't permit the swatting. This, I think, is the hardest part of the entire learning experience for most moms. Some moms fall all to pieces in these situations. And don't flame me, but from what I've observed, it seems to happen more with mothers and daughters, especially if there's an element of "everyone-else-is-doing-it".
So look down life's road for your daughter, get your nerve together, and tell her the ISS is the better choice. When she falls to pieces, don't play into it. In the end, it will be worth it. The ISS will be the deterrent that will work for your type A daughter in the future. The paddle can never have that sort of influence over her.
you can choose a realtor who uses/lists
with the MLS service. We've moved a lot and never would use a realtor who didn't.
We had luck too before listing in the LA Times or San Fran papers when we had a place in the country/mid USA..had a party fly out to see it, and paid cash. Appeal to what people are wanting, ie, escape the high crime, the crowded city, live surrounded by nature/georgeous trees...good luck!
Because I choose not too...I am not complaining, just said it would be easier.
nm
No, to date one can CHOOSE one's treatment.
nobody can force a treatment on you.
The mother has the son's trust, otherwise he would have stayed with the father.
Obviously the father wants to subject the son to this chemo, therefore mother & son ran away.
This boy is going through he** durin this chemo treatment and his mother looks for a less aggressive, accepteable one.
I hope they make it to Mexico...
Jon Bon Jovi or Richie Sambora, I don't know which I'd choose!
GORGEOUS!!!
I guess the difference is people should choose what they want to do (sm)
I do like yard sales but would also like to buy some new things that we need. I think my whole issue is that people should have a choice in what they do and how they do them. No one else should be forcing upon you the way you have to do things. The fact that you enjoy those things is wonderful. If someone was trying to force you to do them even if you didn't want to, that is not so wonderful. For example, I love to cook and I decorate beautiful cakes for all occasions for my family. If I did not enjoy doing those things and someone kept trying to force me to do them, that would be wrong. Do you see the difference?
Don't let him choose. If you do the cooking, you plan the menu!
At my house, my kitchen is not a restaurant. You eat what I make or you fend for yourself. Now of course I know my family's likes and dislikes and I do take requests, but if you're going to turn you nose up at everything I suggest without offering anything up, you get what you get!
maybe should choose a grounding option other than a wedding.
nm
Who's jealous? I'm not overweight. I just choose not to dress
like a prostitute, or someone proud of their anus hairs - lol. I've obviously struck a nerve with you though... Don't worry, you'll grow out of it someday and realize you're worth more than that.
People don't choose their face...plus she's kind of pretty! sm
Sometimes the shallowness of people overwhelms me. Why can't we just give credi where it is due and admit the woman has a great body, especially for her age, or just say nothing? Why do we need to insult her? I do have a very pretty face and I do need to lose weight but I don't feel a need to hurt anyone else to make myself feel better.
I am MY property. If I choose to use my assets for money, that is MY business!
//
Regardless of what medicated shampoo you choose, you must also rinse very well to eliminate any buil
no message
Oh, it's not a matter of wanting to pick and choose the data I "like" - if I want (sm)
to see that being done I need only drop down one forum in the list. ;-) Plenty of opportunities to fill that void there, if one chooses to.
No, I'm just not blindly accepting of whatever is proffered as valid data, and must -- as should we all -- consider the possible bias of those presenting same.
At that rate, I could make in a week what I make
x
Download irfanview, open an image, choose Image, then
Image resize/resample and change the size of the image, save it.
Irfanview website below...
Normally, this would be something I would try to stay out of, but (sm)
I would think if you called CPS and explained things just the way you did here, they might be able to do something to keep the aunt away, and parenting classes for the parents wouldn't hurt either. I agree with the other poster who said if parents (or you) act first, anything the aunt did at a later time would be considered retaliation. Handicapped parents many times can be the best parents, but it sounds like they do need some help with setting boundaries.
I think I would stay put if I were you. He knows where the
door is and can use it if he chooses. Your first concern has to be your children and you should not have to find a place to live if he is the one who has the problem with you. If there is no adultery involved here, don't rush into divorce. Divorce is painful and can get nasty. Sometimes just being away from each other can "calm the waters" and allow you to make a more objective decision. I speak from experience. My husband and I divorced very hastily when we were very young after less than 2 years of marriage and then remarried, had 2 children, divorced very hastily again and then remarried again. Had I just been a little less in a hurry I could have saved myself a hiney-load of money and a lot of heartache by just being away for a while and then making an objective decision. Instead, I rushed into divorce and paid dearly.
Stay away from CC....
If you have been having problems meeting the minimum payment on any CC, by all means don't go opening another credit card. Your credit report will be an absolute mess. I know it's 0% interest for one year, but read the fine print - there is usually a fee of some type, plus, can you pay it off in one year before the interest starts up? You never know what will happen in life and you may not be able to make the payments, the rate goes up, and you are in deep doo-doo.
Sallie Mae is high interest, your 401K is better. With 401K you are paying yourself back with interest. It's a no-brainer. No one gets your money but you. Is it possible to borrow again from a 401K if you already have a loan out? Having the money deducted automatically from your paycheck and put back into your 401K is the safest and smartest bet...as long as you have a job.
If you ABSOLUTELY have to have this other loan for $7,000 then the 401K should be your only choice. Can you do without the $7,000 and get back on track before getting deeper into debt - or at least until you pay off the existing credit card?
Why would you want to stay...
with someone who is, as you say, mean? If you are not happy, LEAVE! When you stay you are condoning his behavior. Some women want to be martyrs, others want to live a great life. There are great men out there; wallowing in self-pity does not get you one though.
Well, obviously we don't want to stay
somewhere where there's still a lot of damage. That's why I'm asking for personal experiences, and hopefully recently. We don't want to book a beach house and when we get there find out it's in the middle of a big mess.
stay vs go
First, I am so sorry for your situation...that being said, the kids will definitely pick up on the negative vibes between you and your husband. As far as your question goes, I think only you and your husband can know the answer to that one. Just be very aware of your kids and behavior changes, emotional lability, etc. Trust me when I say, they are not dumb...they will pick up on what's going on, no matter how hard you try to hide it (yes, I'm speaking from experience...). Good luck!
You definitely need to stay on top of this...
The kids who you think are least likely to commit suicide are the ones that actually do...that is not meant to scare you by any means...most kids find it easier to write down their feelings than actually expressing them face to face so the fact that he wrote this means something is bothering him...I think you should both talk to your pastor..good luck...(((HUGS)))...
I think you should just stay out of it.
It is just humiliating for kids when their parents act up or cause a scene.
The name of the game is fun. Your going into the game wanting your son's team to beat the other team because of YOUR issues with another parent is very immature and selfish.
Trust me, we've watched parents like you've described yourself (and others, in fairness) acting out and it is so unsportsman-like and completely immature.
Embarrassing for everyone.
To Done: STAY !
No husband is perfect, we are all human. Your husband has a lot of good qualities. Think of your children! I think you are spoiled and unthankful. Maybe he is right and is better than you. He loves you, why don't you; I think you are just bored.
If I don't have anywhere to go, I stay
in my jammies. I usually get up and take the kids to school in jeans and my jammy shirt. Then come home and put the jammy pants back on. If I don't have anywhere to go, I don't get dressed until mid afternoon when I break for lunch. I usually put something in the oven and hop in the shower. Sometimes I just put clean jammies on, sometimes I get fully dressed. Either way, my contacts go in and my hair gets done. My husband likes me either way, as long as I'm clean. I find I wear my jammies more in the winter and am more likely to get dressed in the summer, probably because kids are always coming and going in the summer.
At any rate, I tend to be more productive when I'm dressed, so I should probably try to do that every morning, but I'm just not a morning person. Every year for Christmas, my mom gets me "work clothes" (jammies)!!!
Where we stay in NYC.
We stay at the Embassy Suites on North End Avenue right in the financial district. It is walking distance to to the Village, China Town, Mulberry Street, etc. It overlooks the Harbor and you can see the all the helicopters coming in and out. My husband always goes to Battery Park to watch the helicopters. It is not too inexpensive, but you do get free breakfast and there is a happy hour at 5:00 p.m. if you like to have a few drinks, which will really cost you in the city. There is also a fantastic deli 1 block away that we always hit for a late night snack. We go at least once per year, sometimes twice or 3 times. We love it.
You really have to stay on top of the cards
I do a lot of card flipping with balance transfers but also calling and trying to negotiate new deals. I just switched one with a balance transfer at 3.9 for the life of balance and then talked them down to a purchase rate of 8.9 (it had been up in the high teens). I also talked a card I've had a while into a 2.9 for the life of a balance transfer instead of the 12 month offer they were having because there was a delay in the electronic transfer to the other company causing me a bit of inconvenience. That transfer was actually for a loan I had at a pretty high interest rate, so some loans can be put on cards too which I never knew. I find websites that list ALL the latest offers for all or most card companies and I'm always checking. Sometimes I call my cards and tell them I am thinking about switching unless they can give me a similar/better rate or deal. Often they will so as not to lose the business. I have saved a ton of money doing this - it is sort of like consolidating on your own. I can post the site if anyone is interested, don't have it handy right now. Oh..I also have automatic electronic payment setup to pay a certain amount each month from my checking so the payment is NEVER late. You are so right about that, that's where they get you! I just thought maybe some of this info may help someone, I hope so. My credit is very good now but had been a mess in the past.
Remind me to stay
away from that doctor!!!
Did he marry her so he could stay in the U.S.? nm
.
I go there frequently and would not stay in
the Flamingo. It is right downtown but a very old place, the smoke when you go into the casino is terrible, not as classy as I like. It might be cheap but then you get what you pay for. I love the Mirage, stayed at Treasure Island, very nice also, favorite though is the Bellagio, more expensive than most on the strip. Love the buffet at the Luxor. MGM might be alright and at the end of most of the strip but I would think ok as far as a place to stay.
Also if you stay away you are letting him win(sm)
As that seems to be his goal -I would not let him keep me from seeing the rest of my family. However, I also would not want my children exposed to his mouth, so if you cannot stay in a hotel,I would go and visit without your children, which I do sometimes as well. I see my family about twice a year, usually once by myself and once with the kids, at which time we stay in a hotel.
Its wise to stay away
I had a C-section and had planned to stay at my mom's for a week or so to recuperate. As soon as I got there, I put the baby in the cradle in the living room and started to put some things away in the bedroom. I could hear my step-dad saying "get 'im, get 'im" to his dog....I went out there and he was actually encouraging his schnauzer to mess with the baby! I came real close to braining him with a can of tomatoes over it. I left and refused to bring the baby to their house as long as he was in it. My mom, too, chose the step-dad over her kids. Now he's dead and her relationship with her kids is rocky, and she regrets it.
Need help with a dog that will NOT stay off furniture (sm)
We have a black lab in the house - had him since he was a puppy. He was/is not allowed to be on the couch and other furniture but....he considers it a challenge. If I am in my office, he will get on the couch and jumps down as soon as he hears me walking into the family room. I don't know how to make him stay off. He is a very smart dog and we challenge him in other ways with training. One of my kids will be home for the holidays and has allergies. The dog hair on everything is getting to me real quick! He is 2 years old now. Forget the dog bed - he looks at it and laughs!!
Can help you on this, we stay at the Bellagio
and hear that is higher up on the scale of rates.
|