You can get in trouble for spanking with an object...
Posted By: kam on 2007-12-19
In Reply to: I am talking about small branches of - Have you tried
I'm not against spanking when appropriate, but I used to work as a legal secretary and saw people get child abuse charges for spanking with belts. I think if you use a bare hand it is legal, but the law probably varies from state to state. Just wanted to warn you!
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Spanking.
spanking versus ISS
Here is a quick question for all of you that think that the spanking from the school is okay and before any of you make any snap judgements, I was spanked as a child and when my children were smaller, they too were spanked(BY THEIR PARENTS)....Do you all realize that this school that uses these "swats" as punishment, would be on the phone immediately if they saw you or found out that you "swatted" that same child as punishment for deeds done wrong at home? Since nowadays they want to tell you what you can and cannot do as a parent to acutally parent your child( and then of course complain about said kids nowadays), that by alloing them to do something to your child that they would gladly report you for is quite ridiculous.
How long is this ISS. For five tardies..it sure as heck shouldn't be a whole day or even a half day..it should be something realistic. Yes, I do know what it is like to have to deal with school principals who are jerks, just remember that this is your child and not theirs and that it is your job to look out for them.
If you really feel that just to get this over with right now, you want to let them swat her, that is your choice but since she is so obviously not interested in ISS, I would definitely make sure that she and the school knows that this is a one time pass and yes, I too would either make her do some work around the house or take something away if only for the hassle.
Btw, five tardies in 4 or 5 months is really not that terrible IMO. That is about one a month. My goodness, we all assumed it was cause she talks anyone think that maybe the girl had to use the bathroom during her time of the month. I would also find out when she was tardy and how tardy. My son was given a tardy cause the bus was late getting him to school and I called and let them know that that is not acceptable in my book. They had given several kids on his bus tardies and after several phone calls and a check with the bus company, the tardies were removed. Yes, if my son had been chatting or something, I would not have bothered to call, I would have just remind him that tardiness of his own making is not acceptable.
Best of luck.
The problem with spanking (For me) is that
my kids don't seem to think it's a big deal. My husband piped in because I don't hit hard enough (true perhaps, I value my hands!). I don't want to be swinging a bat though! I suppose an inexperienced spanker should just find an alternative punishment.
So I guess I mean spanking is OK for certain circumstances IF your hand gives a good smack!
spanking, not beating.
Teens this day and age have no fear, of anything, it seems. Back in my days of growing up, just the thought of my parents finding out I did something I wasn't suppose to, was enough for me to keep myself in line.
And NO, we were never beaten, but did get a few pats with the belt, which were far and few inbetween.
You say spanking does not build trust?
It sure makes a kid do good, though. I would not raise my kids to be terrors and surely not with g'kids. I just do not have it period.
Spanking just taught my child it was okay to hit.
We never spanked our kid until he was around 2.5. Then dad got fed up with his behavior one day and spanked him. We also tried swatting him on the hand when he did something bad. Now my son has decided that hitting is what we do when we are mad and now hits me whenever he is upset. He never did this until he started receiving spankings. I really don't think spanking/switching is the answer and just sends the wrong message to the kids. But that is just my opinion and I realize everyone is entitled to raise their kids as they see fit.
I don't automatically think spanking is abuse
said it was okay to give 'em the belt. That is abuse, plain and simple. If you feel a need to spank your child, then do it with your own hand, not another object. It's too easy to hit too hard with an object because you're not feeling the pain you're subjecting them to.
As for the gov't interfering, they have to because there are too many wackos in this world that do beat their kids to a pulp. If they all parented with a little more sense, like you obvioulsy do, then I would agree that the gov't shouldn't interefere, but unfortunately the wackos of this world don't care.
It sounds to me as if you're raising some wonderful children. You've definitely offered up some very good advice. I saw no where in your post where you said that you've used a belt, and I'm not saying that you did. I'm simply referring to the OP that started this thread that beating with a belt is abuse.
All spanking does is make kids respect you to your face (sm)
it does not teach them anything at all. When my kids were very young and I could not reason with them, they did occasionally get a swat to get them to listen to me, but once they are old enough to reason, there is no reason to use physical force on them. I am telling you, all it does is raise sneaky kids.
spanking builds fear that you mistake as respect
A child who has been abandoned by both parents has no trust in anyone. Why do you think spanking is the right way to build trust? We just need to agree to disagree on this issue. I trust the counselor's recommendations more than yours as hers have proven to work. Spanking does not _make_ ALL kids do good. Sigh.
Have you ever had trouble with your
bones just aching and thought something else and come to find out you did not have enough calcium and once supplemented, the pain stopped? Has anyone been so deficient in calcium that this actually happened? Thanks.
Trouble is.
That I think they believe her that they cannot do anything without her. I think she just loves to bully. It gives her some sort of power or something. I think that is why she kept insisting she look after my kids while I work. Normally I am a submissive type that is a target for bullys but when it comes to my precious girls, I draw the line. I have become better and taking up for myself and especially my babies. She had some ugly things to say about me too from what I understand when I told her no that the girls and I were happy with the child care they were receiving at the daycare.
I have been wondering, if I called the CPS if they would make the parents put the children in a regular daycare or something better then what they are getting. She still feeds that 2 year-old and insists that the DIL still feed that 2 yo baby food because Aunt does not want and is not going to cook. DH told me that when I left the room that she told the little boy that he was going to get a dose of Tylenol because she needed to get some sleep. It is a shame that she treats him like he is a burden.
The only way you could get in trouble with the IRS sm
Is if that person worked ONLY for you. A lot of people try to pass their full-time housekeepers off as IC because they don't want to bother with the taxes. Those are the people who get into trouble. That person is an employee, not an IC. But if they work for other people as well, they are an IC and responsible for their own taxes.
If you have that much trouble trying to....
communicate when you're trying to buy something off her, imagine how bad it will be if there are problems later and you are unhappy with the product. I would just go to some other place.
I'm not sure I want to know what trouble that may be LOL - NM
NM
potty trouble
Just like when a pacifier mysteriously disappears, you can hide the pullups and act like you ran out. She may suggest buying more, but conveniently, the store will be out of her size. She won't tolerate going in panties nearly as well as the pullups at her age. You may have more laundry, but if you stick to it, she'll come around. To avoid the pullups at night (so she doesn't catch on), use rubber sheets and avoid late drinking. Continue with the praise, rewards, and all the other methods simultaneously. If she's able to hold her poop that long, with the right foods, she'll be less able to put it off (of course, I don't mean give the poor thing diarrhea). It's just that children tend to be on the constipated side according to my pediatrician, so that might be partly why she can go so long. Make sure she eats plenty of veggies and put her on the potty at the same time daily, preferably in the morning after breakfast or warm milk, cocoa, etc.
Potty Trouble
Was reading the board tonight and just wanted to share my experience with you about my son (who is now 18). He was also a very independent, smart, could do anything kid, but refused to potty train. However, he really wanted to go to "school". After explaining that they did not let kids into school who still went to the bathroom in their pants, he informed me that he would starting wearing his big boy pants and going to the big boy potty once he started school and by gosh that is what he did. Stubborn as all get out! Your daughter sounds a lot like him...used to hide to have his bm and could have cared less about wearing dirty diapers or pull-ups (I cannot remember, but I don't think they were available yet). Anyway, I got a lot a grief from many friends and especially family about this. He was my first child and it really stressed me out, but he took care of it on his own in good time. I am not sure whether you can try something like this with your daughter such as a special place that she might like to go or the all time favorite...a bribe. Whatever happens, it will work itself out in the long run. Just remember not to get too stressed about it and take it all in stride and do not worry about what other people say. My son is now a terrific young adult who has been wearing his big boy pants for a long time and has suffered no severe mental setbacks that I can tell ( ) from all the pleading and begging his father and I did. Sorry so long, but I worried so much about this and frankly I could kick myself now since there were so many other huge issues that we would be facing later on. She will get it....hang in there.
What do you do when your child gets in trouble?
Spank/Swat
Time Out
Natural Consequences (ie, if they won't stop throwing food, then lunch is over, or if they run away while you're out, it's time to go home)
Re-direction (ie, trying to get your child to focus on something else)
Other (possibly a combination of methods or something else entirely)
When I had trouble, it felt like a really...sm
sharp, hard pinch along my sternum. I was given Motrin. I did have a workup first before the doctor decided on costochondritis - EKG, treadmill, echo. I do have mitral valve prolapse.
Arm hair trouble
It seems like over the last several years the hair on my forearms has gotten darker and darker. I'm so self-conscious about it, I feel like it makes me nice and mannish looking :(
Here's my question: would it help to put hydrogen peroxide on my arm hair everyday? Bleaching is such a hassle for a large area like that, and I don't have the money now for laser removal. I think hydrogen peroxide lightens hair, but would it make a noticeable difference on my arms?
anyone have trouble with their neighbors...????
beginning to wonder if there could be anything worse to have to put up with. I have been dealing badly with these people for almost 2 years now and am in the process of remodling to sell out and find a better spot to live. my neighbor is going down hill quick. what used to be the all american suburb, has turned into trash neighbors...sorry had to vent!!!!
Well, guess I am in trouble then because
my housekeeper who has been with me exclusively for the past say 15 years or so only works for me. No taking out of taxes, all under-the-table, how if she never does taxes, pray tell, will the IRS know???
I'm in a world of trouble, then
because all my grandparents with the exception of my maternal grandmother deceased before I was born. I am now in my 60s and have actually made it this far without knowing any of their history. What is a lady to do?
Daughter In Trouble
I wish you, your daughter, and your family well. I mean that sincerely. You need advice from an attorney -- not from a lot of us speculating on a web site. I worked in child abuse for many years before MT work. It is doubtful (my opinion only) that you will be successful in bringing charges against this young man because of the age of consent of your daughter. She was not raped; she had sexual relations with him willingly. IF you are successful - please be prepared for the price you are going to make your daughter pay. She will have to testify at his trial and the defense attorney will make her look like the worst XXX in the world. It will be horrible for her - at best. Please think long and hard about what you are about to do to your daughter.
I would keep the lines of communication open and drop it. You will be so sad if you put your daughter through this only to find that -at most- the boyfriend will receive probation. Remember my words, "Being a winner does NOT mean you win." Sometimes the cost is very, very high Mom.
Been There As A Prosecution Witness 1,000,000 Times and now an MT because of it.
Lilly
Trouble concentrating
Just wondering if anyone else suffers from SAD and has trouble concentrating this time of year. I am losing my motivation to do anything (besides eat). Any helpful suggestions would be appreciated. The shorter days are really starting to affect my drive. I'm usually very energetic and upbeat. Just have the blahs.
Second at 36. I didn't have much trouble sm
keeping up with them. They make you young again, take you back to playful times. I agree, have always looked 10 years young than my age.
Most of my friends had kids much earlier, had no education, no idea which way was up. Somehow, they all turn out ok. Something to be said for your mothers, and older mothers, too.
In my expeirence, the older mother know much more about the ins and outs of applying for financial aid and college than do the younger mothers. Been there, done, that, and all of that. Worked for mine. Graduated NYU in 2005 and is well onto her way to great career..
What would you do? School trouble.
We moved here to Texas about 2 years ago and have never had any to deal with the kids and school behavioral issues before, but my 14-year-old daughter apparently just had her 5th tardy to a class (she's a talker and I can easily see how's she's distracted getting from locker to classroom) and was given a choice in school today of ISS (in-school-suspension) or take swats.
Swats? I had no idea they still spanked kids at school. Didn't that stop happening about 20 years ago? I talked to one mom earlier and apparently in Texas it's still legal and she didn't think twice about it and said her own kids had been paddled in school and she thought it was just fine.
It's not that I'm trying to get my daughter out of her punishment, but apparently since I didn't sign a "paddling permission" slip, she has to choose the school suspension thing. Though she brought the slip for me to sign tonight if I choose. She apparently actually wants the swats because she says that's what all the other kids do and (quote) it doesn't hurt. She says she doesn't want to miss class anyway and it's dumb to miss classes if she doesn't have to.
While I agree with her on the missing class part, I can't help but wonder what the point of a punishment of a paddling is IF it the kids say it doesn't hurt AND they choose it instead of in-school suspension. It seems so barbaric. Do they really think smacking the kids with a piece of wood is going to keep them in line? I suppose it worked when we were kids but I thought our society was past that now.
So I'm just wondering what you all would do (need opinions). As I said, I talked with one mom tonight that said just go ahead and let her be paddled, it's no biggy. I asked my daughter if she thinks that will keep her from being so chit-chatty and not making it to class on time and she just shrugged her shoulders. How can the kids be so calm about the whole thing?
I hate parenting sometimes! So do I sign the "no paddling" slip or not? 
Used to be in you got into trouble at school,
expect more of the same or worse when you got home. I do not consider abuse at all, good children then unlike the ones now.
Trouble with incontinence, anyone else?
I have been taking some medication for incontinence, basically has not worked, gotten severe and unable to control. My question to you is if you have had and what steps have been taken to control it. Thanks.
Well, now I know why Lindsay is always in trouble. sm
From the words of Dina Lohan herself: "It was very tastefully done," Dina tells PEOPLE of the photos, a recreation of Marilyn Monroe's legendary 1962 photo shoot shot by Bert Stern. "I respect the photographer as an artist, so I look at them artistically. For him to call Lindsay 46 years later and to say can you recreate these photos is an honor. I looked at it as art, and as Lindsay doing a character. So I don't look at them like it's Playboy; she was being a character. So if you look at it that way, you can look at it as a mother."
And Dina adds that had the photos been inappropriate, Lindsay's sister Ali would not have visited the set. "Trust me," Dina tells PEOPLE, "I wouldn't have sent my 14-year-old to the set [if the shoot was in bad taste]. And obviously Lindsay wouldn't do anything with her sister there, that was risqué."
What a joke! I don't care what icon - I would never encourage or be okay with my daughters ever doing that!!
This country is definitely in trouble....
IMHO, many people have blinders on. Still buy like crazy, charge everything, drive brand new cars with big monthly payments, have all the toys, new everything and then only pay minimums on their CC payments or miss a house payment or two and think everyone lives that way. People need to learn how to save money, plain and simple. DH and I both work, make just over six figures, have only the house payment, cars paid for (not new ones but don't care to impress anyone with our cars), no CC debt, gas prices aren't hurting us too much and we can still take nice vacations 2-3 times a year. Most people these days live like there is no tomorrow, don't bother to save for retirement, try to keep up with the Jones' and are miserable. We make a nice living, live well within our means and are content. Do we want new things...sure, but we pay cash for what we want. Nothing irks me more than when someone charged to the hilt on credit cards complains that the debt collectors are calling them because they are behind in payments. Most people whould be able to ride out a recession if they had some money in the bank.
no..asking for trouble, especially if she is the only girl!
And please, no one comment on how THEIR daughter is so good and would never do anything wrong, how you have to trust kids and give them their space, or state that this is a different time than when we were young. 90% of 16 year olds are ridiculously immature. Oh, and even good girls get pregnant, drink and take drugs, even if they are on the honor roll, have a part time job and help around the house. Be a good mother and say no...you don't have to justify your decision..you are the mother.
I had trouble believing - sm
My daughter was four when we moved into our house and within months she was insisting she was seeing lights, orbs, etc. I admit I heard footsteps but told myself I was hearing things. Anyway she eventually, about 3-4 years later,had actually seen and knew the names of two - spirits? ghosts? I was still skeptical - overactive imagination, etc, until she and I saw something in our living room at the same time that I could not explain any other way about two years ago. She's 16 now. Yeah, I would believe.
PS - my philosophy about most kid behaviors like wanting to sleep with parents has always been - somewhere between now and college she'll stop . . sucking her thumb, crawling in bed with me, get potty trained, etc, etc, etc. It puts things in perspective. And here we are on the brink of college and the only thing left is she's asking me to tuck her in at night. I'll do that till the night she gets a husband to take that delightful task over for me!
Trouble with daughter
Sounds like the girl is crying for help, but mom is shacked up with her boyfriend and doesn't want her daughter to mess up her meal ticket. How sad.
anybody else have trouble with vasovagal
i had another spell this morning. the doctors don't seem to know what to do to help. ANybody else have this problem?
Anyone every let someone use their address for ? and gotten into trouble?
My husband just called me and said his nephew who moved to our state from another a few months ago got a ticket. The nephew said he wanted to use our address which my gulliable husband said yes to. This nephew, by the way, has a place to live (think he is in a rented place) and I find it strange he is not able to receive what he needs at his own address. I am very upset over this and am going to tell the nephew when I see him no to his request. I do not want to try and skirt by any legal issues, thereby possibly putting myself into a mess. Anyone had any trouble with anything like this before?
Dizziness - anyone have trouble with this after transcribing all day?
Or anyone know of any help for this? The more I transcribe, the worse it is.
rosie might be in trouble if he sues her.
but i agree with her...why is he involved in MISS USA anyway? does he own it??? cuz, he like she said does not have a good track record for role models.
My child got in trouble at school.
I need some opinions from other moms. My little 5-year old dd got in trouble at school and was put in time-out. First, she was talking to her other friends during a movie that they were watching, then she was talking and playing during nap time. She did not get to go skating or get ice cream like we usually do on Saturday nights. We went to Lowes to get some things for the house and she found a book that she wanted, I told her no because she acted up in school. That has been her punishment so far. I am thinking about having her go apologize to the teacher Monday for acting so ugly Friday or would that be too much?
She has been in daycare since 1 year of age and last September she went to Pre-K. This is the first time anyone has mentioned having any problems with her. The night before my 15 month old kept us up all night and I know with my 5 year old doesn’t get enough sleep she does act up and I feel that was the real problem, she was tired.
Can it really cause trouble from inside a purse?
I'd rather be barked at then sprayed with cologne, but then I reeeeally like dogs. In some countries they are allowed to come inside restaurants. Fun.
We have the same trouble with ants in the summer.
around the areas you think they are coming in. The only thing is if you have a small child, this may pose a risk of them getting into if you place it low enough. You could also try sprinkling it outside around your home.
I am sooo glad to see this...sorry you had trouble but...sm
I took it for 1.5 days and started getting odd, painful muscle spasms in the back of one thigh. I looked it up and saw that was not only a side effect but apparently a serious side effect, so called the doc to get something else. He had never heard of that reaction!! I still refused to take it and got something else. Then had to go to a specialist for different problem. I asked him about that side effect with Cipro, and he had never heard of it. I know they think I'm nuts, but I know that's what it was. The spasm frequency slowed one day after stopping Cipro, but it didn't quit entirely for several days. I won't ever take it again.
I've tried a lot of paper and it still has trouble.
nm
Trouble staying awake - what do you do?? (nm)
x
Trouble with your bowels or sex life???
x
i'd try going to an internist/trouble shooters.
x
Then to stay there is only inviting trouble
I would live in a 1 room apt before I would put up with this circus. How much is peace of mind worth? She is enabling him to drive her crazy by living on his property. Nothing worth that much.
ahem...Kelly Ripa ALSO has trouble...nm
!
My Misha had terrible foot trouble.
Not sure why she had infections going in her front feet, but she did. Finally had to have surgery on one of them. If you take the dog to the vet, the vet can put a better wrap on than you can. He can put a stiff sole in there and then wrap it with that semi-sticky splint wrap stuff. The soaking was good. We used epson salts or just soapy water. Definitely don't cut anything off. If it looks like part has turned whitish like it has no blood supply, then even that can be left in place as a temporary cover on the wound, the way you leave the cover on a blister, even if it breaks open. Eventually it will dry up and peel.
But I would probably have taken the dog in to the vet on Monday. In fact I did once for a cut pad; didn't know how old it was, but the vet was not worried about that one because it was only a couple of mm deep. There was no flap.
If you don't think a vet trip is necessary, they do sell booties with Velcro straps at pet stores. If you get the right size it might help you protect your bandage and keep it on longer. We did that with Misha. Maybe if you put extra stiffener in there and even glued in some bubble wrap or other cushion, maybe you could walk the dog sooner. You could use cushioning from people shoe inserts, maybe glue it to cardboard and tuck it inside the doggy booty. Course it would have to be a little bigger than the foot to accommodate all that.
Good luck.
I have an HP - have barely used it - trouble with paper feeding
nm
I have an HP also and have trouble with paper feeding. I get sick of it. I have to keep a big
stack of paper in so it feeds okay. If not it thinks it is out of paper.
Anyone ever have trouble with the video card in their computer. nm
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