You can't change your dad. Sorry. Just stay happy
Posted By: and content. Parents on their own. on 2008-01-16
In Reply to: Just venting somewhat about depressed parents sm - happy daughter
xx
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Unless you can change your eating habits, the weight will not stay off.
I have regained almost all of the 100 pounds I lost. I know many others who have also. Grazing is the #1 reason for regain. You can eat more by grazing than most people can who "pig out."
DH not happy = his prob. Let him leave or stay or decide
d
Change Your Brain, Change Your Life
I read a book once with the above title. I can't remember the author. He has done a lot of testing (and imaging) and says that often people actually have small amounts of brain damage they are not aware of that cause chronic behavioral issues.
He says that even little incidents of falling off a bike, etc. can cause damage that people aren't aware occurred.
I'm not saying this is your son's case, but I think you will have to keep investigating. Even with those who have damage, they are able to use meds to help the brain compensate for the affected area, which helps greatly.
I'm sorry you are going through this. It has to be awful for the whole family and hurtful to know your son is feeling in such a way to act that way.
I'm sure there is an answer somewhere. I hope you find it soon! - Please keep us posted.
Doesn't offend me to hear Happy Holidays, Happy Hannuka...sm
or any way someone wants to greet me. As a basic rule, people use the greeting most comfortable to the speaker. What does burn my butt is when someone tries to tell me that my comfortable greeting of "Merry Christmas" is not appropriate. To those who are not concerned with my comfort, I have no concern for theirs.
Merry Christmas to all.
You cannot change kids. Can only change the way
x
Birthday wish to justme2....Happy B-day to you, happy B-day to you. now make your wish...
I wanted to wish you a very Happy B-Day...I am aging so tomorrw I may forget or at least remember at midnight...LOL...to all you celebrating B-Days this month, Congrats
Happy Bikrthday to me, happy birthday
Unbelievable, I have reached the age of 65- where did the years go?? I would retire but gosh, darn just love this work so much, want to keep on working. Hubs had me a delicious huge chocolate cake this morning and daughter coming over for pizza tonight, oh forgot working today also but like I said, hard to give this terrific life up, that is a life in between my working!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU. Hope it is a good one. nm
nm
Happy Birthday to you, then you can wish me a happy birthday on Friday! sm
Aquarians Rule!!!!! LOL
Well, if you are not going to change your
mind, then do not expect anyone else to change their mind about you either. You cannot call people judgmental and then be judgmental yourself. Or you can, but you just look ridiculous doing so.
And by the way, I went into this field so that I could be home with my kids. I also have held a job outside of the home for many years and had my kids home with me while I worked, but they were older where they could amuse themselves most of the time. They are in school now and I have them doing something part time during the summer, but the other times they are here with me. I work just fine like you do and I can hold a job outside of the home. I've done it before and I will be doing it again in a couple of years when I finish school. I've never made a post though about the things you mentioned.
So...your conclusions are flawed.
well then I think we should change the name
change
Honestly, the only possible way he could change is by telling him. But beware it will only change for a bit and go back to the way it was!
...just happens to you. You can change it.
x
Believe I would have to change my name.
Right off the bat, made me think of Pol Pot. If your not familier, Google him.
An attempt by Khmer Rouge leader Pol Pot to form a Communist peasant farming society resulted in the deaths of 25 percent of the country's population from starvation, overwork and executions. Responsible for 2,000,000 deaths of his own people.
Sorry did not mean to ruin anything, just made me stop and think.
Change
I remember the Riley Hospital incident, I just had forgotten that it was there at that hospital. I want to know WHY the vials are not brightly colored OPPOSITES? While not having seen one of these vials for a while, I assume they look they same as they always did. The company who makes these needs to take a look at its packaging and ACT ON IT. This is so hard to take. I can't stop thinking about it.
Men that hit do not change...
sure, they can go through anger management (sitting around with a bunch of other women beaters talking about how much their mate irritates them; hmm, wonder why they don't change), they will say they are sorry, it won't happen again, buy you nice things to appease you, go for periods of time not using you or your children for a punching bag, etc. You can see by many posts below that you need to get out now....you can either take that advice or not. Staying does not make you a hero or a martyr; you can't change him, won't change him and for the sake of your children, either send them somewhere safe and stay and be a doormat or take charge of the situation. As I said earlier, BTDT, twice as a matter of fact. It took me until age 40 (I'm 48 now) to realize that I wasted too much time on 2 men who were insecure, angry, lazy, and no good before I got out. My life began at 40 and yours can begin any time from this moment on. You have gotten some very good advice here today; use it and quit making excuses why you can't leave. It can be done.
I think this is all going to change now
that we're heading into a recession/depression. Shoe repair places are experiencing huge increases in business. People are replacing engines in cars instead of replacing the cars. Hard times aren't all bad. We have much to learn from the Greatest Generation that lived through hard times.
What would you change if you could
If there was a time machine and you could go back in time and change one thing that would affect the rest of your life what would it be. And if you were to go back where would you stop the machine. I was just watching the Time Machine the other night and that's what made me think about it.
My major decision I would change would have been to go to a different high school with different friends (that would have changed all my future decisions).
If I could go back I would stop the machine to the night before I started the 2nd grade. I'd love to do it all over again (minus the bad decisions). 2nd grade was the best time for me.
What would you change if you could
If there was a time machine and you could go back in time and change one thing that would affect the rest of your life what would it be. And if you were to go back where would you stop the machine. I was just watching the Time Machine the other night and that's what made me think about it.
My major decision I would change would have been to go to a different high school with different friends (that would have changed all my future decisions).
If I could go back I would stop the machine to the night before I started the 2nd grade. I'd love to do it all over again (minus the bad decisions). 2nd grade was the best time for me.
Exactly right! Nobody can change what is put down in a will,
only the testator can make changes (codicils) to it. When he is dead, nobody can, not the one who holds the POA, not the executor, not the lawyer, not the state, because there is the will!
All the named persons have only an administrative/executive power to make sure that that what is written in the will gets executed.
Get out now. Men don't change.
I stayed in for 22 years, and even though mine was a nice guy other than the unwise and selfish spending, it ruined everything. There were other issues too, but the money one alone will leave you feeling helpless and hopeless. Meds won't solve the problem. Getting out will.
Wow! what a change!
Good for her!
Normally, this would be something I would try to stay out of, but (sm)
I would think if you called CPS and explained things just the way you did here, they might be able to do something to keep the aunt away, and parenting classes for the parents wouldn't hurt either. I agree with the other poster who said if parents (or you) act first, anything the aunt did at a later time would be considered retaliation. Handicapped parents many times can be the best parents, but it sounds like they do need some help with setting boundaries.
I think I would stay put if I were you. He knows where the
door is and can use it if he chooses. Your first concern has to be your children and you should not have to find a place to live if he is the one who has the problem with you. If there is no adultery involved here, don't rush into divorce. Divorce is painful and can get nasty. Sometimes just being away from each other can "calm the waters" and allow you to make a more objective decision. I speak from experience. My husband and I divorced very hastily when we were very young after less than 2 years of marriage and then remarried, had 2 children, divorced very hastily again and then remarried again. Had I just been a little less in a hurry I could have saved myself a hiney-load of money and a lot of heartache by just being away for a while and then making an objective decision. Instead, I rushed into divorce and paid dearly. 
Stay away from CC....
If you have been having problems meeting the minimum payment on any CC, by all means don't go opening another credit card. Your credit report will be an absolute mess. I know it's 0% interest for one year, but read the fine print - there is usually a fee of some type, plus, can you pay it off in one year before the interest starts up? You never know what will happen in life and you may not be able to make the payments, the rate goes up, and you are in deep doo-doo.
Sallie Mae is high interest, your 401K is better. With 401K you are paying yourself back with interest. It's a no-brainer. No one gets your money but you. Is it possible to borrow again from a 401K if you already have a loan out? Having the money deducted automatically from your paycheck and put back into your 401K is the safest and smartest bet...as long as you have a job.
If you ABSOLUTELY have to have this other loan for $7,000 then the 401K should be your only choice. Can you do without the $7,000 and get back on track before getting deeper into debt - or at least until you pay off the existing credit card?
Why would you want to stay...
with someone who is, as you say, mean? If you are not happy, LEAVE! When you stay you are condoning his behavior. Some women want to be martyrs, others want to live a great life. There are great men out there; wallowing in self-pity does not get you one though.
Well, obviously we don't want to stay
somewhere where there's still a lot of damage. That's why I'm asking for personal experiences, and hopefully recently. We don't want to book a beach house and when we get there find out it's in the middle of a big mess.
stay vs go
First, I am so sorry for your situation...that being said, the kids will definitely pick up on the negative vibes between you and your husband. As far as your question goes, I think only you and your husband can know the answer to that one. Just be very aware of your kids and behavior changes, emotional lability, etc. Trust me when I say, they are not dumb...they will pick up on what's going on, no matter how hard you try to hide it (yes, I'm speaking from experience...). Good luck!
You definitely need to stay on top of this...
The kids who you think are least likely to commit suicide are the ones that actually do...that is not meant to scare you by any means...most kids find it easier to write down their feelings than actually expressing them face to face so the fact that he wrote this means something is bothering him...I think you should both talk to your pastor..good luck...(((HUGS)))...
I think you should just stay out of it.
It is just humiliating for kids when their parents act up or cause a scene.
The name of the game is fun. Your going into the game wanting your son's team to beat the other team because of YOUR issues with another parent is very immature and selfish.
Trust me, we've watched parents like you've described yourself (and others, in fairness) acting out and it is so unsportsman-like and completely immature.
Embarrassing for everyone.
To Done: STAY !
No husband is perfect, we are all human. Your husband has a lot of good qualities. Think of your children! I think you are spoiled and unthankful. Maybe he is right and is better than you. He loves you, why don't you; I think you are just bored.
If I don't have anywhere to go, I stay
in my jammies. I usually get up and take the kids to school in jeans and my jammy shirt. Then come home and put the jammy pants back on. If I don't have anywhere to go, I don't get dressed until mid afternoon when I break for lunch. I usually put something in the oven and hop in the shower. Sometimes I just put clean jammies on, sometimes I get fully dressed. Either way, my contacts go in and my hair gets done. My husband likes me either way, as long as I'm clean. I find I wear my jammies more in the winter and am more likely to get dressed in the summer, probably because kids are always coming and going in the summer.
At any rate, I tend to be more productive when I'm dressed, so I should probably try to do that every morning, but I'm just not a morning person. Every year for Christmas, my mom gets me "work clothes" (jammies)!!!
Where we stay in NYC.
We stay at the Embassy Suites on North End Avenue right in the financial district. It is walking distance to to the Village, China Town, Mulberry Street, etc. It overlooks the Harbor and you can see the all the helicopters coming in and out. My husband always goes to Battery Park to watch the helicopters. It is not too inexpensive, but you do get free breakfast and there is a happy hour at 5:00 p.m. if you like to have a few drinks, which will really cost you in the city. There is also a fantastic deli 1 block away that we always hit for a late night snack. We go at least once per year, sometimes twice or 3 times. We love it.
Oh yeah, sure. I think we'd all like to change a lot more
than welfare laws and regulations in many states, but it ain't gonna happen, sister. The laws are made for and benefitted by the poor and the rich only, not the in between. Middle class people get squat and are taken advantage of in every way. And I think we all pretty much fall into that category.
Some things never change...
I believe this is the very thing that Joseph was afraid of way back when. Judgement.. We can not judge until we know the full extent of the situation, even then we have to be careful with our conclusions.
No, you won't change me otherwise. I'm not judging
the Bible. God will judge in the end. I simply don't shop at stores that sell gay and lesbian items.
don't change a thing sm
I've been married 12 years and have had a very happy marriage. I too never understand what's to work at.
I also was just friends with my husband for 10 years before we started dating. Never knew he cared for me.
Count your blessings and give your husband a big kiss!!
And again, she cannot change his behavior, only hers
will not back down on that one. Lots of reason for divorce. Staying because of the children is an absolute wrong way to work at a marriage. She finds him disgusting, surely the children notice or they will when they age a little. I would not care if I had 10 children hanging onto my apron strings, would not want to stay somewhere that I am so unhappy I ask outsiders what they would do. My mother divorced in a time when no parents divorcing, believe it or not, and when I went to elementary school I was asked why no daddy. I turned out well, felt it had no adverse effect on me. Saw him, didn’t see him, ?? Really loved my stepmom though. He did do a good thing right in his life by bringing her into it.
sudden change
I won't say this is your case, but from my experience (and some of my acquaintances) a sudden change in behavior might mean there is someone on the side - of course if you are with him all the time that may not be the case. My ex, who had never bought his own clothes, suddenly bought a new outfit and his own cologne. Hope that's not your case, but keep your eyes open.
Do we really need to change the car oil every 3000?
//
everyone talkin' about change
how do you expect him to try to change something if he has no idea????
Alimony after sex change.
CLEARWATER, Fla. —
Lawrence Roach agreed to pay alimony to the woman he divorced, not the man she became after a sex change, his lawyers argued in an effort to end the payments.
But the ex-wife's attorneys argued Tuesday that the operation doesn't alter the agreement.
Roach and his wife, Julia, divorced in 2004 after 18 years of marriage. The 48-year-old utility worker agreed to pay her $1,250 a month in alimony. Since then, Julia Roach, 55, had a sex change and legally changed her name to Julio Roberto Silverwolf.
"It's illegal for a man to marry a man and it should likewise be illegal for a man to pay alimony to a man," said John McGuire, one of Roach's attorneys.
"When she changed to man, I believe she terminated that alimony."
Silverwolf did not appear in court Tuesday and has declined to talk about the divorce. His lawyer, Gregory Nevins, said the language of the divorce decree is clear and firm — Roach agreed to pay alimony until his ex-wife dies or remarries.
"Those two things haven't happened," said Nevins, a senior staff attorney with the national gay rights group Lambda Legal.
Arnold found fault with several of Roach's legal arguments and noted that appeals courts have declined to legally recognize a sex change in Florida when it comes to marriage. The appellate court "is telling us you are what you are when you are born," Arnold said.
Yes, your relationship will change sm
The first three months or so you will both be so tired you won't know how you can possibly make it, but you will. If you have family close by to help, that is great (I was an Air Force wife, so we were far from both our families). Hopefully, though, you will start to see your husband in a whole new light. I know I did. He had never had much use for children before, although I knew he loved animals, so that's always a good sign. He would spend hours playing with our cats, and he loved to sit and watch TV with one or both of the cats in his lap. To me, that showed a loving heart.
He had a lot of learning to do, but he became a wonderful father. Seeing that, I fell in love with him all over again. He became much more open emotionally, primarily with our son, but some of that spilled over into our relationship as well. And having a child together bonds a couple together like nothing else. Here is this wonderful being who is a part of BOTH of you, and who you both love like you never thought you could love another human being.
Sure, there will be difficulties. There will be times when he wants sex and you are so exhausted all you want to do is sleep for a week. There will be times when you are so focused on the baby you won't realize you are neglecting him. But if you are aware of all these possibilities, you are less likely to let the situation go on so long that it becomes a problem.
Good luck to you, whatever happens. 
Change my activity? (sm)
The only thing I can think of that might have caused it would be 8-9 hours of transcribing every day. Unfortunately, I'll probably be typing my days ago for another 20-30 years (LOL).
You can never change the spots on a dog.
I'm sorry that you are going thru this, and I'm just bidding my time for the "father" of my oldest who is now 21, who hasn't called, visited, or supported him since he was 5, to start wanting something. What your ex is doing is basically called stalking. He gave up his paternity rights and now wants to be treated as a parent, give me a break. By law, he has no rights to be contacting you or you son, as he is legally not his father any longer. A parent is not the one "who makes you" but the one that is by you when you're sick, happy, sad, etc. etc. etc. My oldest one, even though I always offered the opportunity for him to have contact if he wanted to, doesn't care, want in any shape or form, to have any contact with his father either. For you ex to find your phone number or where you are living, either someone you know is giving him this information or if you have it listed in the phone book just by searching on the net is pretty easy to find anyone's number (always make your number private, unlisted, and if you can get unknown caller rejection even better, some phone companies give you this choice). Who knows what the heck is now wrong in his life that he wants to turn around and give you all this trouble. Those type of "men" (and I use the term loosely) never ever change. What does he want, for your son to tell him to go away directly to his face? Then, he would take that as a clear shot to keep trying to make your life miserable. You did the right thing by calling the police and even if you have to, get an injuction against him.
I think it sounds like you could use a change (sm)
Peace of mind, happiness, and health are worth their weight. If there is a pay cut and you can get by with that, this change might do you a world of good.
Seems like you know what the job entails with the kids by what you said in your original post.
To help you get the job, the only thing I can think of, besides your other qualifications, is getting a letter of recommendation from your children's teachers and other teachers you may have become familiar with in the school, the principal, etc. Or even letters of recommendations from people you may know in the community.
You know, you can always go back to MTing if it doesn't work out. Wishing you the best whatever you do! :-)
first day of new lifestyle change....Ugh!!! sm
No diet sodas, regular sodas, refined sugars, bad carbs.....I snuck in a little orange juice this morning. I'm reading and following "Body by God" and trying to eliminate most man-made foods (which are obvious) and replacing them with God-made foods which are the obvious, too (fruits, veggies, beans, lean meats, chicken, etc.). No cheese, either.
I didn't realize (well, I sorta did) how much I rely on my Diet Dr. Pepper EVERY morning. Yes, I'm grouchy. I'm drinking water this morning (yuck) - actually, I don't mind water, but I'm dying for my PEPPER!!!!
What's gotten me to this point? My hormones, thyroid, everything is getting out of balance due to obesity. yes, I admit it! This has been a struggle of mine for years. I cannot even tell you how many times I've failed trying to change my lifestyle. I have young children, too, and we went to like McDonald's and Burger King quite a bit.....That will have to stop too :(
It's not ALL bad, though. I do get one "vacation" day a week to eat pretty much whatever I want. Doc says that even 1 to 2 days of this Body by God will yield results. 3 to 4 days of Body by God will yield great results, and all 7 days of this regime will yield the BEST results for you and your body. I'm tired of the swelling. I'm tired of trying to cover up my belly fat. Hey, I'm just being brutally honest.
Is there a diet board? I need fill-in ideas for snacks that are healthy. I've never, ever eaten healthy before.....   = My emotions right now!~
He is selfish, that's why, and will not change! nm
/
don't you wish you can change things?
Yeah, I know how you feel. Been there, still there or here, whatever. Life is just a moment you know.
I don't mean to change the subject but
this statement "raised in all female household" - I am curious. My daughter's husband was raised by women and he's just the nicest devoted husband, really unique, and I wonder if there is something to this - Anybody else have a similar experience?
But if you are going to change, have to start some
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