You are cracking my sides, these posts
Posted By: Jane on 2007-04-05
In Reply to: Maybe point and shoot like two machine guns? ....LOL! - nm
are soooooo funny, not the BF nut but the others. Thanks for the laughs.
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Dumdum, your name is cracking me up!
a
Religious posts and political posts go to appropriate boards. NM
Goldbird
there are two sides
in my opinion, if you wrote him off because of a disagreement about money then YOU were/are wrong. i have basically already asked this and you have yet to respond.... have you ever owned up to your part of what has contributed to this dysfunction? it seems to me, from reading your posts, that you blame EVERYONE but YOURSELF for everything. dad was a deadbeat, son is ungrateful, daughter is spoiled... oh wait... i stand corrected. your hubby is absolutely wonderful.
you also mentioned above that you could not be happier with your life... well that is one very sad sad comment. i have a daughter and a son myself and i can't imagine my life being complete and happy without them in it.
I AGREE WITH BOTH SIDES . . .
I know these kids need attention, there are SO MANY needy kids out there, but you have to PROTECT YOUR CHILDREN. I have been in too many instances where the child manipulates and the parents see no wrong with what they do . . . it has been very hard to explain to my children why these kids are bad news. They can show a good front, get the sympathy and then BAM . . I have also learned from the past 12-1/2 years of being home with my children, that we cannot take care of everyone else's children . . been there done that. It's a sad, sad situation . . . and only getting worse.
2 sides to the story
First of all I think there's another option that neither you or your sister are seeing, home health aide. Look into it re: insurance etc. I can see where both of you are coming from. I don't know your sister's financial situation or how far she has to drive to see your father. I think that she probably feels she is working hard to earn her paid time off but if she has to use it all to take "everybody" to the doctor what will happen if she needs to go to the doctor herself or wants to take time off for a vacation or mental health day. You have to admit she has a point.
My advice would be not to alienate your sister. You are going to have to work together to take care of your father. I would arrange a time for both of you to sit with your father and lay out the facts. With little to no eyesight, he simply cannot live completely independently any longer. If he wants to stay at home then either hire a home health aide or a live-in caregiver or one of you would have to move in with him. Avoid the word nursing home and instead suggest an independent living facility where there is assistance with daily activities such as preparing meals. Be open and honest with each other. You have your own separate lives and not only do you not want your father to feel like he is a burden, you also do not want to feel burdened. With the cost of gas these days, your sister certainly has a valid point. As far as her popping to Wal-Mart and the mall, she could have perfectly viable reasons for going to Wal-Mart including grocery shopping or perhaps purchasing your father's medications there on their $4 plan. The mall may be her escape mechanism.
You both sound stressed out over this situation and you both need to take care of yourselves first and foremost before you can be expected to care for someone else. Good luck to both of you and remember that you both love each other and your father and only want the best for everyone.
There are several sides here, listen!
You had pain - you had suffering - you don't want to be alone. Set some rules, don't have any alcohol in the house at all. If anyone wants to visit at the holidays, they'll have to drink tea or coffee. That's what I do and barely anyone comes. So case closed as far as that goes. No one is saying you're a bad person, what they're saying is don't write your Mom and your Grandmom out of your life because you are punishing yourself. You are in the medical profession or associated with it. You know this goes on all th time in most families that will admit it. The posters who tell you to get over it mean well, they want you to have a family. You set the ground rules. Your OP said you want to forgive but cannot forget. You have gotten off the track here, read your OP again to yourself. Give them another chance with your rules, that's all people are trying to get across to you, according to your OP. Get back on track with the forgive thing and you will be happier. Just set the rules. Believe me, we've been there and just haven't posted what we've been through. Your story sounds familiar. There were no rules to protect children like there are now. You mom must have gotten the same treatment and her mom or they never would have done the behavior. Hate the sin and not the sinner is all anyone said here. They're just trying to shake you into reality before you spend a lonely holiday. If they don't keep their side of the bargain, then you have to tell them, not us. It's up to you, you asked for opinions and you may not like what you got, but you asked and people answered. God bless you and your son. Try to have a happy family holiday if you can.
And there needs to be "respect" on both sides. Neither should be "serving" the other! Yo
s
This is a hard topic for me - I see both sides (sm)
I have had prayers answered, but I have seen such suffering too and I know those people have cried out for help. You can always ask, but you never know if it is going to be God's will to solve the problem for you or not. I don't see how you can have blind faith that your problem will be solved when not all problems that are prayed about are solved.
Good reminder about the two sides SM
I'm not condoning the animal kicking; it's wrong and there's no two ways around it, although I have to admit that when I have been trying to go in or out of the door without coming under siege by the dogs, my foot has swung- not hard enough to do any damage whatsoever but enough that it clears a path- but my dogs are small and low to the ground so the arm or shoulder that I might use to push past my big dog converts to a foot or a leg to move the little guys.
That being said, what I'm hearing as an undercurrent is that you live either in a rural or semi-rural area, and you have decided you want to move to the 'burbs and have convinced the kids that they want to move to the 'burbs, and everybody is nagging at your husband to get them out of the wasteland he calls a home and move them to the civilization of the 'burbs. Much like the rest of the animal kingdom, backing a man into a corner is going to bring about a reaction, and the whole overboard on the hunting thing may be him thumbing his nose at your suburban ideal.
Also, there are a lot of people who when they recently get into a new hobby or past-time go just a bit overboard. I myself have about 300 jigsaws down in the basement from when I thought that would be fun (only about 50 of them ever completed). My son has a collection of stuff from his martial arts phase that now sit in the back of his closet. My ex has owner's manuals and extra light bulbs and a million parts for that period when he was restoring his 1950s pickup truck. And I won't even talk about all the crap I have from various crafts I decided I was going to take up at a given time.
If you're looking for a reason to dump him and move to the suburbs, I guess his hunting is as good a reason as any. But obviously, at least to me, there are other issues, and I agree that if you want to save this marriage, counseling is the way to go.
I've dealt with this on both sides.
I have 3 boys. My oldest son is very giving and caring (sounds like your daughter). He's been bullied a few times. Different responses apply to each individual bully. Some bullies can be dealt with best by the school or their parents. These are usually the kids who come from good homes and their parents don't always know what happens when they're not around. I generally deal with the parents if they're level-headed. If not, I go straight to the school.
Other bullies come from parents who don't give a darn what they do. These kids are the hardest to deal with. I have had to face these bullies myself. I flat out told them if they continue to pick on my son or bully him, I will call the police and they will be dealt with as a juvenile deliquent. This seemed to stop things pretty quick. I also followed that up with the letting school know what was going on because I had a feeling the child might pick on my son when I'm not there. The school was great about this and were well aware of this bully's behavior. It alerted them to keep a closer watch on my son at recess when this kid was around.
The other side of the fence is my 7-year-old son. I had gotten a call from his teacher early in the school year that he was bullying a couple of smaller kids. My son had a late birthday, so I held him for kindergarten, making him a year older than most of his peers. There didn't seem to be any problem in kindergarten, but by first grade, he realized that he was bigger than most and could use this to his advantage. From that first call I got from his teacher, I made it very clear to him that I would not tolerate bullying from him. I also told him the school would be watching him and if I hear any reports of him bullying others, I would punish him at home as well. Other than a few minor kid things, he's been pretty great. I even explained to him that because he was bigger than the little kids, he needed to protect them and watch over them like a big brother. He's come home a couple of times and told me how some older kids were picking on his friends and he stepped up and told them to knock it off. I was very proud of him and needless to say, he has a lot of "girlfriends" now.
My point here is that not all parents know what their kids are like outside of the home. It's very possible this girl's mother had no idea. Unfortunately, she was already hurt and angry when you talked to her and it probably didn't help things. I would suggest sticking with the teacher from now on with this one, and in the future, bring any problems immediately to the teacher's attention or the parents (depending on their temperament and how well you know them). Most importantly, I have also taught my children to stand up for themselves, use a firm voice, but walk away if it's just words and we'll deal with it together. The only time I allow my children to hit is if they're being physically hit and the other child won't stop. Our school has a zero tolerance for fighting, and it just wouldn't be worth getting expelled otherwise.
Hang in there. She's only 8 -- the really bullying starts in the teen years (I'm remembering mine), not being popular enough or having money or wearing cool clothes or being too smart or not thin enough. It goes on and on. In that case, I'm glad I have boys. They get less catty as they get older (I hope).
I've lived it, both sides and it goes both
I've been on both sides and I have seen stepchildren thrown in the middle, guilty parents on both sides. I have seen the new single mom (now married mom) want her husband all for herself and act SHOCKED when she realizes she can't have him all for herself...it's not always a fairytale ending. It does sound like the child is playing her and it's obvious why, but I witnessed first hand a grown woman manipulate her stepchildren and husband, until she had both turned against her. Instead of expecting all the attention, perhaps your time would be better spent with your stepson NOT expecting anything from your husband, since you're not getting it, it sounds but instead, go out of your way to give him attention. Take him somewhere just the two of you and eat at his favorite fast food place, go to the zoo, something without dad. When he has to depend on just you and dad isn't there for comparison and pity, you might see an improvement for the better.
My child has been on both sides of that fence (sm)
He has been bullied before but he has gotten really good at standing up for himself. I literally have given him comebacks that he can use if he is being verbally bullied, and have told him that while he is never allowed to start a fight he is always allowed to defend himself and even though he may get in trouble at school, he will not be in trouble at home.
One time last year (fifth grade) he was verbally bullying a boy in his class. He said some pretty mean things. I got the phone number to the boy's house through a mutual friend, called, and then too my son to the boy's house to apologize in person, in front of the boy's parents. We talked for a long time beforehand about how the boy must feel to have to go to school and have someone say things like that to him, role-playing such as "how would you feel if that was you" sort of thing. He also lost computer priveleges for a week. He has never bullied anyone else.
However, he did kick a boy in the shin earlier this year when the boy hit him and said he was going to beat him up. My son is strong but doesn't like to fight. I think all kids should be able defend themselves if needed though.
Breakfast casserole sides.
1. Biscuits with assorted jams and preserves, perhaps a sausage gravy boat.
2. Baked cheese grits or fried grits.
3. Cinnamon rolls/assorted pastries.
4. Blueberry or orange-cranberry muffins.
5. Hash browns or potatoes O'Brien.
6. Sausage patties.
Wow! Such anger at differing sides of opinions!--sm
I don't want to change the subject here, but personally, I do not appreciate the cigarette smokers out there either, at malls, at restaurants, or even adjoinging apartments where I live and throwing their cigarette butts *in my space*, and having to smell that sickening smell coming in my patio door while they smoke, but there is little I can do to stop them. I just have to tolerate it, as it is their choice to want to die of lung cancer, etc. TOLERANCE is the word, I suppose, for the rights of others and we all should respect that. Personally, I wouldn't care if an animal were allowed inside a store. I love animals, too, and they do not cause cancer and induce second hand smoke into my space. How is an animal inflicting on anyone elses rights? I do not understand such anger and vehemence at this subject. My goodness!
Yep! Sounds like TMJ. I wake up with the sides of my tongue...
sore because my jaw clamps down on my tongue and sores on my cheeks from biting them. I would also have an aching jaw for weeks at a time that required mountains of Motrin and muscle relaxers. I finally went to the dentist and now have an acrylic mouthguard I wear at night. I hated it at first, but boy does my jaw feel better. No more aching, no more trouble chewing, no more sores on my cheeks and tongue! Cost me $300 for the mouthguard cause my insurance wouldn't pay, but it was worth every penny!
Go to your dentist!
My SIL fringed all the sides and didn't leave
an opening, although for young ones I really like the idea of sort of sleeping bag. You can buy fleece in all sizes so then you can decide how big you want to make it. My SIL made one for her 6Ɖ hubby so when he is on the couch he is completely covered up. BTW, I think they are beautiful and would live anything my MIL made for me. Well, she once made me a cake with rasins in it....very allergic so couldn't even pretend to like it.
My problem is our kids are the only grandkids on both sides....
so both sets of grandparents spoil them rotten...
100% English, all sides of family, all members. nm
x
Where did all the posts on this go?!
This was a rather lengthy thread with a lot of feedback and support....but it all has disappeared. I noticed that happened with some other threads as well, like when admin shifts them from one heading to another (like a Word Help question getting posted under the Main Board). That's a drag because a lot of helpful things are getting lost in the shuffle 
According to the above posts, am just
glad it was lotion and nothing else… what about that Ben-Gay? I loved that one.
According to most of these posts
So no matter what means you got pregnant. Abortion is murder. I don't agree with that mentality. I believe in choice no matter what the circumstances.
Thanks everyone for your posts (sm)
I appreciate all of the info as you don't find a lot of the true problems experienced when researching on the net.
I would like not to have surgery, but I don't think my husband would be willing to get a vasectomy. I can't go the hormonal route and have been told I cannot have an IUD as I have never had children. So, I'm pretty much left with the TL option.
Thanks again all for taking the time to respond with such good information for me to consider.
It's right above the posts.....
with the autoimmune link, mental health link etc. It's the last one.
CANNOT SEE POSTS - WHAT IS GOING ON?
Any monitors out here? What is up?
Why do the above 2 posts have to keep up with
their daughter's periods- is that just to make sure you have enough feminine products or just why? Neither my mother nor I ever kept up with mine. Is this a new fad or is it wanting to know if your daughter gets pregnant or just why? Both the posts are really new to me.
Not so, those posts came in after
she posted it. Try again!
You don’t have to say it but your posts
come across strongly as really hoping for them not to go- you said showing them off- I guarantee the majority of grandparents want to show their g'kids off, either in person or in pictures they carry around. This is NOT unusual. Why do you find this strange? You have the undertones of not liking this person. Your children are picking up on this.
Thanks, I appreciate all the posts here
NM
Thanks to all for the posts!
I read each and everyone and cried with each. I know I am still in a sad state just a few months after her death and perhaps I have felt guilty because of the sadness. I do know I tried any and everything I could for her, when she got too weak to make it to the bathroom I carried her and helped her, I spoon fed her with baby food and more caloried kitten food when she was a grown cat, trying to help her regain weight, she was so thin at the end, I was her eyes when she had her stroke earlier which she recovered from and it has hurt me so bad, my heart still aches. I have replayed things in my head like 1 said- time and time again- especially of the fact that I did not hold her when she died- and 1 person said animals lots of time want to go away to die- I know this- but yet when another person on this line said that it helped me think well, ok, she might have wanted to be comfortable and alone - well she was just in the next room from me then. I realize that probably the guilt I have felt is possibly the fact I am still grieving over my loss. Gosh, I never knew a little furgirl would mean so much to me and how I loved her. Another person stated about think about the life I gave her and she probably would not have had- that is true because her mother (when pregnant) came to my door and oh course I let her come in with her babies and my furgirl was born at my home- so see we had been together all those 18 years. My husband got me 2 other brothers furguys and I do love them. I would like in my furgirls honor to adopt another homeless girl from our humane society and hope to do that before long- not to replace- no one can replace her but to give another 1 a good home. Thanks again everyone for the kind words- I really appreciate everyone taking the time to write.
Thank you all for your posts! Thanks!
Not being physically abused here, emotionally I feel like a dog on a leash-- a short one. All this info is like music to my ears. The house is in his name, but I do buy all the food/pay some of the bills -- insurance, internet and I pay for clothes ect for my children. I cannot thank you all enough. I will look into free legal help. I think that is in my state. We always had separate bank accounts so I'm okay there.
As you can see from all these posts,
it is very important to have a gynecologist skilled in epidurals.
I got my epidural immediately when I came to the hospital and 12 hours later I delivered. The epidural was in there the whole time, probably on a low dose. I had no pain at all. After giving birth I felt bad and I vomited, maybe from the morphine. The nurse kept sitting at my bedside for 2 hours, engaging me in conversations, she told me I should not go to sleep, only after 2 hours, this was a little strange to me.
This what is, the 2nd day I got up and 2 days later I went home. I had never had any bad after effects, no pain on the insertiion point in the spine, no side effects ever. Good doctor.
At my first delivery nobody gave me the option, natural or epidural, I had no idea that epidurals existed, so I delivered without painkillers at all. Had they asked me, though, I would not have accepted the epidural, because it was the first delivery and I had no idea how painful it is.
I remember that I thought to myself that I will never have sex again.
But, ...3 years later I had my daughter, with an epidural.
So, my advice is, take the epidural, but make sure to have a skilled doctor.
I may have been a little harsh in some of my posts
and if so I apologize. I truly do feel bad for you, I have sisters and I know I would be devastated. I hope someday soon you can both put this in the past and make up. I'm sure Thanksgiving may be a bit sad this year for you but I hope you can find some happiness and enjoy the day as best as possible.
These posts come across as not being very professional,
in their jobs, just the opposite. I might (and underline that) throw the clothes in the dryer but what you hear are women crying about what to do with their children, how to do their house chores around their work time- Good golly, what I am saying is I do not think a majority of the MTs on here would be able to hold down a job outside of their home because their home interferes with their work. I say either work at a job, not cry about it or do housework. One post said if inhouse would probably stand around a water fountain, that is a hoot!! No work, no production, no money. So simple.
Not sure what posts are below re marriage
but you sound so very well grounded and truly in love and love your husband and obviously he reciprocates. You are blessed but you also sound like a wonderful person who knows how to compromise when necessary and probably pick your battles - if you even have any!! I am also close to your age and going on 25 years of marriage and watch little things in the marriages of my children and I realize how much I have grown and how truly unimportant some stuff is - but sometimes you just don't see it when you are younger... wisdom definitely come with age!! You are blessed! :))
I have read all of the posts here and --sm
in my opinion, it is time to do what you have to do. She already has feelings against you, so what difference does it make. try to protect her as best as you can. protect your gd first and foremost. Get her some help, for YOUR peace of mind. God knows what you have done to help in your lifetime. Do not worry about your siblings or what anyone else might think. Do what you have to do..it is time. good luck to you, and God bless.
Posts being deleted - SM
Sometimes threads are pruned in order to scoot them back over out of the left-hand margin.
I suggest in the future if you have questions about your posts, e-mail them instead of complaining loudly on the board.
The thread you are referring to was pruned. It had nothing to do with the content of yours or anyone else's post.
Goldbird
I never said that - don't put words into my posts....
no need for sarcastic posts
I said pot.....
all you mentioned is most assuredly highly addictive...
been there, done that - need no lectures from an anonymous sarcastic poster 
I love all the posts concerning the
different marinades but I do believe with the MSG I can tell because of feeling like a sudden weight surge, like your bra gets a little tight and you have to unloosen it. I think this might be what they are talking about but then again I love all these brands, Lawry's included. Marinating the meat in dressings, etc. really helps the taste.
Now that I read your posts..
I'm figuring that's what my problem was. I had a tubal ligation after my third child 15 years ago. I had endometrial ablation done last March because of heavy periods, which was the best thing I ever did. It was to the point that I sometimes had to get up twice a night to change everything. My doctor told me that I might need another ablation sometime down the road or maybe a hysterectomy eventually.
That's okay. Both posts showed up sm
withing seconds of one another. I am so glad your family is okay. This is just awful.
True. But nn's posts often... sm
Come across as negative, bitter, judgemental, abrasive, argumentative, lecturing. This isn't the first time, so there does seem to be a pattern/problem IMHO. Seems like a very unhappy person, spreading that unhappiness around...
I agree with below posts sm
We went to New York this past summer and my drama class son had the time of his life. My daughter has a part time job, she works about 11-15 hours a week (that equals 2 days a week for her) and every 2 weeks she gets a paycheck of about 100.00 to 120.00 dollars a week. She could easily raise the money without taking away to much of her time or yours driving her to and from work. My daughter works as a cashier in a grocery store. I don't think you are being a cheapskate but I would do anything to make sure she could go.
After reading the below posts sm
I have to laugh. I have HP and have no trouble at all. It is the same thing with kitchen appliances. Have mostly GE and am not happy but many surveys say GE is one of the best.
So many posts against my views
but I posted about where I lived, in an association, and many came back against my saying it was so nice here, quiet, no loud music, no bullies to threaten your kids but yet people seemed to think I was being I guess "uppity." I only had 1 problem since 2004 and that was the pit sending flames into the trees next door, unattended, with their wooden area adjoining mine. I stand by what I said but if you are moving, got the perfect place for you. I am so happy here, not like others think an association is. The people here are really nice, not bothersome and we take pride in how we live. Oh, here goes the flaming!!!
These posts are a hoot!
I am so laughing reading about your babies. I just so love these sweet things and would never turn my back on him, even if he swishes when he walks!!
I have not read through all these posts, but
I had a cat pee on my daughter's new bed and was horrified. We got urine gone from wal-mart and that fixed it totally. Hope you find a solution!
Regarding our posts about suffering below (sm)
I am the one who said that I am a Christian but that I don't understand the suffering in the world either. I also disagree with Christians being self-righteous - this article/video shows that Christians and Muslims should be able to live together in harmony and we should all realize that when we become too intellectually/religiously arrogant, we forget the whole point.
http://www.cbn.com/CBNnews/214912.aspx
I can't read posts either...
Can't read posts either!
Thanks you all for the positive posts.
I didn't think anyone would tell me not to let him go and that is exactly what I needed. I guess all along I knew I would not be able to keep him here, my heart would hurt too much to see his heart hurt if I did say no. I know I am supposed to just turn it all over to the Lord, but sometimes that is really hard to do. I will continue praying about it and I know that will help give me some peace. Thanks again to all.
Before I even read the other posts
I understand what you are going through, having been through it TWICE - long story, I refused to be the 'other woman' both times. You have to change the way you think about this man. Maybe your brother did bring him into your life for a reason, to help you grieve and to show you some of the qualities that you want in a man - but at this time, this is not the man for you. It is very difficult to let go. I still wonder sometimes if I did the right thing by walking away, but I could not sleep at night knowing that I destroyed someone's relationship. For history, the first instance was my high school sweetheart. He went into the Army. We wrote letters all the time and talked about marriage. So, imagine my shock when he brought home a woman he'd met while in the Army. I had one conversation with him after that. I asked him if he was happy and he said he didn't know. He couldn't be sure if he'd done the right thing by being with this other person and not me. I KNOW I could've stepped in and he would've left her. But would it have lasted? Would he eventually regret what he'd done? After all, we were different people. So, I told him that I could not talk to him any more. It was too hard. If things didn't work out with this other person, I told him he could call me any time. He is now married to this woman and I pray that he is happy. I made the right choice, as much as it hurt to let go, and that is what you have to do.
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