You are comparing your aunt's boss to someone's child?
Posted By: sm on 2007-11-23
In Reply to: Oh, I'm so sorry. I remember my aunt calling (sm) - tnmt
Sorry, just an odd response. There is nothing that compares to the loss of one's child. My heart goes out to the other poster.
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Well I am an aunt and great aunt
I spend a lot of time with my nieces and nephews. Even though divorced still hear from the in-law niece and nephew. I know that they are all different, their likes and dislikes and do something special with them that entails their likes. Not much money but time. Used to do Christmas crafts with them and the older ones over 21 still remember it and the fun we had. Like I have often said it is not the money you spend but the time and knowing that they like, taking an interest in them. When they were little -- especially my great nephews and niece, they would call and say that they needed some "special time" which meant that they wanted time with just them and so no matter what I would have going on I always had them over. I also never broke a promise or a committment to them unless I was on my deathbed and I think that they remember that also. And now that they are older - as am I -- they do more for me -- my 20 year old nephew and his friends took off my paneling and put up sheet rock in my living room, office and kitchen and did not expect pay nothing but lunches and Gator Aid. I tell them aunts are a little special and unique creatures, No matter if a grandparent, foster grandparent, aunt, cousin a lot of these kids just want time spent with them and for you to know them -- it makes them feel special. I am taking my second great nephew to Disneyworld for his graduation -- took his brother to San Francisco. So looking forward to that this summer.
First of all, I'm not comparing you ..
to this lady because your just buying things you will use or like another post, if you can't return some of it & need to get rid of it try a yard sale or better yet, if you know somebody that is dire need and can use it would be great, if it's not causing any family problems, you & your dh aren't fighting because of it, then be glad you can go shop when you want.. this is just a story of someone I know DID have a shopping problem..
but this is about someone I know who had a major HUGE shopping addiction.. I never thought too much about it, but before I started doing MT work, I used to clean houses.. This lady was a good friend, her dh is my cousin, we all used to ride horses together, etc.anyhoo, when I cleaned for her (they lived in a crackerbox house), she had NO room for anything, every time I went to her house to clean, (which was horrible).. there were always bags on top of bags where she had been shopping, outfits on top of outfits for her, her daughter, etc.. shoes coming out the wazoo, all i did basically was tidy up a very very cluttered house, anyhoo.. she blamed it on the small house, I counted one time trying to get clothes in a drawer, decided I would count.. her daughter had 50+ pair of panties.. she was probably in grade school at the time... and then there were ?? bags of new panties never opened.. she got into credit card trouble & they had to mortgage their home$10,000. the next time it happened they mortgaged their home $20,000. the next time, they had to mortgage their home for $40,000. anyhoo, to make a long story a little shorter, she is sitting in prison, she was the circuit clerk at the courthouse here in our county, so she was the person who took fine money, etc.. when all was said and done, she had stole in excess of $300,000.00, nothing to show for it, her husband has been in & out of the psych ward more than once since this happened, their daughter lives with her cousins, has nothing much to do with her dad at all.. their family was totally destroyed.. .. and I knew her pretty good, but then on the other hand, maybe nobody did..
you are comparing apples to oranges
The children's relationship with their divorced parent or extended family is very important and should always be encouraged...unless there are problems the child should not be exposed to (mental illness, drug/alcohol abuse, etc.), but you are saying children should be exposed to the girlfriend or boyfriend of the week just to be part of the life of the absent parent/grandparent. That is not what anyone here is talking about.
When I got custody of my granddaughter, I had to go through a screening process with the state. A background check was run on everyone in my home. If there had been a convicted felon in the home, I would not have been able to get custody of her. Well, the other grandmom had a habit of going to bars to pick up new boyfriends when she wore out the last one. At the time I got custody, her current boyfriend had a felony conviction for drug trafficking. I told her the child could continue to visit her as usual, as long as the convicted felon was not in the home during the visits. She chose the convicted felon. So the child lost her other grandmother and continues to mourn that loss, but it was that person's choice. She chose the boyfriend/felon of the week over her relationship with her granddaughter. She won't even call the child - it's been a year. I tried calling her a couple of times so my GD could at least say hello over the phone, but each time she told me she was "too busy" so we stopped calling.
I will NOT apologize for standing up for the best interest of the child. It was that grandmother's choice, not mine, not the child's.
I'm sorry any child has to lose their relationship with the grandparent...and I think it was foolish of any parents to go along with grandma for having enough power over them to keep the grandchildren from seeing their grandfather. Is that what the grandfather or the grandchildren wanted? What a shame.
comparing yourself to a teenager makes you look...
and you don't know how to put "no message" on outside of your post, so we don't have to waste time clicking to open your message just to see there is no message!
No one was comparing the babies to animals
Why do you not read the postings correctly. I said I might as well ask for contributions for my animal rescue if THE MOTHER could put up a website asking for contributions. I see no difference at all. I pay it forward almost every week doing my rescuing and contributing to causes I find worthwhile contributing to, not a psycho person who intentionally populates the earth by herself and has no way of taking care of such a litter. I am very angry at people like you who are bleeding hearts. Give them all your money- I know just by the glimpses I see of this wanna be Angelina Jolie that she will have to look elsewhere for help other than this person of sound mind. I do not give money for stoopid causes. Have at it!
I think you hit the nail on the head as far as comparing
Adam to Steven Tyler. In the early days of Aerosmith, I LOVED them, but after he developed his 'signature scream' and did it in every single song to the point of sounding stupid, it got so monotonous that I can't stand him anymore. I still like the early stuff though. Adam is like Steven Tyler now that he's not good anymore.
Apples to oranges comparing MT to a psychologist! sm
I'm currently going to school for an advanced degree in a completely unrelated field from MT, while working FT as an MT and having an unemployed husband, as well.
My disdain for this profession in no way affects my ability to be successful in my next career, and it's unfair of you to attack the OP for daring to feel overwhelmed by everything she's got in her life right now.
We all have our tipping points, and kudos to her for having foresight into what she really wants to do and pursuing it.
The MT industry is lousy, it has little respect and no thanks. We all have our reasons for being in it.
If you are comparing children and dogs behaving in public
I will take the dogs any ole day. When I have been out to a restaurant lately, the kids are standing up in their chairs, screaming sometimes, and what are the parents doing?? Absolutely nothing! I so enjoy our furry friends. They are acting better than the children now days.
your boss and
Unless you make over $250,000 a year, your boss my be taking advantage of you. We are all supposed to get an increase of $13 per week for a total increase of around $52 per month. It was in the stabilization bill just passed.
Never said I wanted to be boss. I just want to be
x
I'm the boss at my other job. I enjoy the
homemade items, ie. cake, a tin of misc cookies or candies. Very sweet and simple.
Me too. I used to be stressed out because of a mean boss.
My car hasn't had any shop time in almost 3 years. I also can no longer afford contribute to my 401K (as if it mattered anymore). I get the rent paid, but at the expense of eating extremely poorly. (Why is the cheap food always the stuff that's bd for you?) So now my cholesterol is through the roof. I can't afford to take a day off, and if I did, can't afford to go anywhere. A trip to the supermarket is an exercise in how well my antidepressants are working, because nothing is more depressing than not being able to afford most of what's in the store. I pray that my pets stay well, because who can afford vet bills? If my car breaks down someday, I'll be a permanent pedestrian. I HATE being poor, and I've come to detest the MTSO's, AHDI, and the whole MT field.
boss of the ways
Here's one: When my son was 4 we were on vacation, lost, and I kept telling my husband, Go this way, go that way, etc. My son got frustrated with driving around for so long aimlessly had some ideas of his own, and yelled, "Hey, I am the boss of the ways!" He is 19 now and we still use the phrase.
My boss, when I worked as
an MT at a company called Physician Services Plus. She lied, she cheated on my W2 and she stole my credit card and attempted to open an account! When this was all brought to light, she fired me and did her best to withhold my last paycheck. grrrrrrrrrrrr
Eureka Boss is way cheaper and does as well!!
x
Christmas Gift for Boss
My other job is a legal secretary. I am looking for gift ideas for my boss that was not too expensive. Any suggestions would be much appreciated! Thanks!
Tell them, my own boss, years ago no restraining order
for a husband. They could beat you and half kill you and you were considered their property. I know because have been there.
Make sure boss is using biweekly tables
As opposed to the semi monthly tables. That can make a big difference. I had an accountant/bookkeeper do that to me once long ago with a raise. I had calculated it and I knew it was supposed to be somewhere in the range of $50 more in my check and the actual check came and was only $1 more. We went round and round and finally I banged it into her head that she was using the wrong table.
use the link that Tech Support gave you for the IRS tables. Find your state's tax and revenue site and get your tax withholding tables and then add 7.65% for your FICA/MedFICA. Calculate it out yourself with what you think is a fair degree of accuracy and then compare it to what your boss has.
If it's the same, then I'm sorry. If it's not, though, you can go to your boss and ask her to clarify what portion of the table she is using.
She may not be taking you for a ride, so to speak, she may just truly be making a mistake on the withholding table.
I once had a psycho boss at a small community -
hospital I worked at. Our transcription dept. consisted of just 3 of us, and we sat in a far corner of the medical records dept., next to the microfilm guy. The boss ('P'), and I were the only full-time MTs; the other MT only worked half-days, and she and I shared a desk. She worked from 8-12:30, I worked from 1-9:30 pm. This boss gave me the longest, most ridiculous oral 'transcription' test I've ever taken anywhere. Oddly, no typing test. So, I was hired.
The other MT told me no matter what you do, don't do more work than P, or she'll get insanely jealous. ?? So one fateful day, I made the mistake of typing more reports than she did. She changed to several different shades of red and purple, and I never saw anyone's lips get so thin in my entire life! Her mouth became just a pencil-thin straight line. After that day, she made my life a living he11. Always picking apart my work, trying to say I'd skipped out of work early one day and missed the life-flight helicopter bringing patients to the ER. (No, I was there, and I typed their H&P's).
She also had a running feud going on with the entire MR department, and instructed me that I wasn't allowed to speak with ANY of them. I was friends with the microfilm guy, and others in MR, and so I very politely told her that although I wouldn't chit-chat with them while I was WORKING, that what I did on my breaks and my own time was my own business, and that no one tells me who I may or may not associate with.
Would you believe this b___ch would actually feign leaving work for the day (her shift ended at 5 pm), and then would sneak back anywhere from 15 minutes to 5 hours later, just to peep in the window from outside and see if I was talking to anyone? She was a real piece of work, that one.
I eventually took another job (with a service that she occasionally sent our overflow work to). The new boss didn't want me telling her where I was going (which I wouldn't have, anyway - she was a very vindictive person), so when she asked where I was going to, I made up a doctor in the city - an impossible to pronounce, Chinese-sounding name. I told her it sounded sort of like 'Chiaong', but I had no idea how it was spelled. I also told her that because of his very thick accent, he was going to pay me twice what I was making at the hospital. Boy, did she ever turn dark RED when I told her THAT!
A few days later, my other co-worker (obviously on instructions from P), was trying to squeeze the name and address of the new 'doctor' out of me, but I just told her I knew where the building was, but that I'd walked there from an underground parking lot and didn't know the address, just that it was on the 9th floor. I just KNEW P. wanted to find this doctor and try to get the job for herself (which I learned is how she got the MT job at that hospital). So, I'm sure she spent hours perusing the downtown phone book, looking for Dr. 'Chiaong'!!! I also wouldn't have put it past her to go off in search of this mythical medical building I made up.
Sometimes mean people can be fun to jerk around. ;)
Should say the child found in Florida proved to be the Caylee child, homicide.
NM
You aunt....
It sounds like you have tried very hard to look out for your aunt and what is in her best interest. Maybe now that her son has seen that someone is trying more to care for her, he may be NOW aware of just how much he really needs to be doing for her. Sometimes it's hard for a child to admit their parent has become so disabled that they need to be taken care of the way their parents used to take care of them, EVERYDAY! I hope your aunt can find a nice place where you can visit with her but of course, your aunt will always love her son dearly and just wants to be close to him like any parent. I just hope he realizes that.
Elderly Aunt
Kimmie-
You are being extremely overly sensitive. Your aunt is elderly - have patience. Continue to be kind and forgive her for what you perceive as rudeness. Save the hurt feelings for things that are really important. 
Dipper
I would think that your aunt would be proud that
a man who was not a child's biological father would take her, love her and raise as his child, grieve when passes away and refers to her as his daughter. My sister and brother-in-law married when my sister's youngest child was 18 months old. That child is now almost 20 and refers to him as "Dad." Her biological father is alive but the relationship is strained because she had a child out of wedlock. The stepfather, however, loves the child that she had and refers to him as his grandson. 
Your aunt's comment....
''well, the doctors really do not want you to tell them what you think it is or what to do for any ailments.''
I don't understand why you are upset; she was talking about the doctors, not you, and her comment was pretty much right on. Unless I am misunderstanding.
I have some problems, probably fibro or a rheumatoid thing, and am going to doctors now for a workup. I do a LOT of research and I know a lot. But, in my experience so far, if you tell a doctor what you think it is, most will do everything in their power to prove you wrong or will just say no, if they don't think of it first. It's called arrogance and yes a holier than thou attitide.
So I guess I don't understand why this upset you.
What kind of aunt ?
You should have asked my brother about that. He did not talk with me for the last 5 years of his life because I married a black guy. He also decided to keep his children away from me. That was his decision. That was what he wanted. The SIL remarried, took her children away, had no contact with my mother hardly, their maternal grandmother (the mother of her husband, remember), no contact with the great maternal aunt of these children. Now go back and ask again what kind of aunt was I?
My aunt used to vacuum her cats.
She used to vacuum the cats, and they loved it. Plus, it got the dander off.
I thought it was the aunt. I'm confused now.
What did the grandmother do?
My aunt, who is just like my mother, told me
just this past weekend when her son sells his property, she plans to go live close by him and his new wife of about a year. I was kinda taken aback as she is up in years but always, always has been really self-sufficient and wanted to be. She broke her hip a year or so ago, recovered from that but still has slowed her down tremendously. She wants to continue doing her housework, gathering her groceries, etc. while having to use a rolling walker. I visit her out of state at least every 2-3 months and call probably every week. She would be moving to another state but the distance for me to travel to the other 1 is probably about the same distance I travel to see her now. I know in my heart she would never had said nor made this decision had it not been for her feeling the need to do so. My mother, her sister, has been deceased since the early 90s but she has taken me under her wing and now tells others I am her adopted daughter. She is really precious to me and I appreciate her being in my life.
Just read your post and my aunt the other day
was saying exactly what you were saying, was there not a good place that I could go to for a diagnosis on what my problems are. I do not know of a place like this at all. I can self-refer myself to a physician and usually do as I know about as much as the people I run into in the offices. After all my years of typing on all kinds of diseases, treatments and such, I do not need a person say 30 or more years younger than me to explain a diagnosis to me. I am sure I could tell them more than they could tell me. Just went to an urgent care place today for 1 of my problems and refused to weigh- the person taking history said I would have to because they would have to know my weight in order to give medication. I told them most medicines I know come in say 10, 15, 20 mg and I never weigh at any office and I see nephrologist, general, endocrinologist, etc. I refused to weigh, still got to see the physician and guess what, nothing prescribed! I probably have been in the medical field longer than this person on earth. on well, enough venting for the night.
My elderly aunt has just gotten 2 red marks
right under her eyes and she tried to see a physician today but was unable to, any thoughts on what this could be? She says bright red spots under both eyes.
Oh, I'm so sorry. I remember my aunt calling (sm)
to tell my mother that her boss had died. He was like a member of the extended family and the first person whom I knew well to die. I was maybe 11 or 12 and I can remember it like it was yesterday. I can only imagine your pain.
Sounds like you are indeed a Great aunt!
nm
carpal tunnel maybe......my aunt described
xx
I have an aunt that has it and she has to watch her sodium, did your sm
doctor tell you about that? (stay away from high sodium food).
We went to my husband's aunt's house once...
and they were having a get together because his uncle was dying of lung cancer. In rolls his three sisters and brother, all with their oxygen tanks and cannulas that they would have to take off to have their cigarettes. I found it fairly ironic and that is when I decided to quit smoking. Not the cancer, not the emphysema, but the ridiculousness of seeing people who can't breath because of smoking taking off what helps them to breath so that they can smoke. At any rate, I am not sure that I really have a point, just something that is interesting to me.
Did you at least show concern for her aunt?
See, when I read this, the first thing that jumped out was this woman had an aunt IN THE HOSPITAL HAVING TESTS DONE.
I hope while you were in the process of berating her grasp of the fine art of pronouncing various words that you at least inquired as to the welfare of her aunt.
I'm sure the woman had more on her mind under these circumstances than making sure she cleaned up her grammatical skills.
My aunt reported a Walmart employee
who left the ladies' room without washing her hands.
My aunt, kids grandmother, dads Mom.
Sorry for the confusion.
My aunt is elderly but her husband used to drink
This was the love of her life and they had a child together. They both worked, lived with her mother to help her out on bills after her husband died and everything except his drinking went ok. After finding him in ditches, getting DUIs, passing out and the like, nothing worked. After probably 20 something years my aunt divorced him because she knew he probably would kill himself, kill someone else or something horrible. It wasn’t that she didn’t love him but just could not live like that. That was over 40-50 years ago. She still speaks of him fondly (he died in another state in a ditch but had her phone number in his pocket) but I am sure she thought she always made the right decision. Myself, I just would not want to go through that, too much else to keep me busy. Thank goodness no children for you- would be really hard to subject a child to that.
Going to my aunt & uncle's house as usual
My husband, my parents, and I all drive down to my aunt and uncle's house every year. We usually bring something like pumpkin and/or apple pie.
Get this, older aunt of mine, DIL called and said if anything happens
to her- can you give me a call, in other words when she dies. This aunt is also great aunt to my son- I asked the DIL why don't you go to see her now (she is in middle 80s)- always an excuse, no car, no this, no that. She lives driving distance, about 170 miles from here. Just pitiful is all I can say- I visit her every 3-4 months and call her weekly.
Don't throw me down, Clark. I won't, Aunt Bethany
Geezus, you couldn't hear a dump truck driving through a nitroglycerin plant.
Can I refill your eggnog for you? Get you something to eat? Drive you out to the middle of nowhere and leave you for dead?
(Christmas Vacation)
My aunt married a guy 28 years older
than her with 4 children, 2 older than her. (his 1st wife died when their youngest was 4, 10 years previously). They were married for 37 years, had 2 kids of their own, and everything worked for them, marired until he died. She and his family got along great, her parents on the other hand, had a rough time dealing with it until their 1st child was born.
My aunt went in the hospital for heart problems...sm
While in there they posted a sign on the door that said contagious or something to that effect. Well the family was like what does she have. The nurse said MRSA. They were like what? She has no symptoms. So later the doctor came in and explained she was a CARRIER of MRSA. She herself would never get symptoms of it cause she was immune due to being a carrier. But she can pass it on. I had never heard of this before and still don't understand it completely. It happened though.
Your aunt is a wise woman, and she is a strong person
for being a Pastor's wife. For some reason, Pastors seem to be the most difficult to understand about how to be sensitive to people, when it is their job to do so. No offense to pastors and to my husband. But when I loved him best when he delivered pizza and Sunday mornings I still feel put off. And those are the mornings I am probably the most up in arms about this control issue. I dont think that is what the Bible meant either. Thanks for your comment. Your aunt also sounds like she was a great example to women and men alike as the pastor's wife. :)
My husband's Aunt Delores, because she always tells everyone she loves them (nm)
x
Both my mom and aunt have had very good success with it. My mom, smoker for over 40 years, quit cold
turkey and says Chantix is the best drug out there - she tried everything!
I see that there are mixed feelings about this drug as with all drugs. Works for some and doesn't work that well with others. Sorry to hear about their experience!
Guess talking with dying aunt over daughter just shouldn’t happen
Yes I did say disconnect (have thought about that for some time just due to the excessive amount spent on land phone though and daughter suggested disconnecting also to save $$$) the fuss was the fact about others assumming something. I took what I considered to be the more important of the 2 calls- basically I talk with the daughter every week several times and the aunt - well what would most do?
You're aunt is bully, plain and simple and I would just stop visiting.
but I will tell you this, most mothers are going to voice their opinions to their kids about how they did things compared to out YOU do things. I think it's in the mother by-laws somewhere. :) My mother constantly tells me I'm too soft with my kids and I am. My mother was a strict disciplinarian similar to your aunt when I was a kid. Spankings were routine and generally with the belt or the fly swatter or any other object handy. That's why I'm so soft.
I let me mother know early on after I became a mother, that my kids are MY KIDS. She can give me advice and I'll always listen, but I will make the final decision on how and when to discipline my children and I and ONLY I (and DH too of course) will dole out any discipline necessary. Nobody else has permission to spank my children, EVER!
My mom and I get along pretty good now. I accept that she will be nosy and pushy and she accepts that I will ignore her and not call for a few days when she gets on my nerves.
I would just suggest being honest with your aunt and letting her know that you think you're a good mother, your DH thinks your a good mother and that your kids are doing fine and behave fine and if she doesn't think so, then she doesn't need to see the kids.
Yes, with my second child.
He is now 13 and has never had any problems. Just pray, God will work it all out for you and I will keep you in my prayers also.
Tell me a little about your child, please
Thanks.
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