You are a power of example by helping sm
Posted By: Anon2 on 2008-01-08
In Reply to: This isn't a problem, but I would like some opinions - trose
When I was younger, I would not only cry, sometimes I would not attend or attend and not sleep for days. I think being in the MT business made me realize how short life is. I am amazed that now I look at death in a different way. I cannot believe how I have changed. Most of my friends were brought up to wear black, look sad, cry a lot. I was brought up to avoid it, stay away from wakes and funerals; so could not handle it. Thanks to transcribing so many autopsies, horrible situations, illnesses, educational seminars on death and dying, etc., I am finally able to celebrate life. I do have others now not understanding why I do not cry. It's a miracle to me that I don't have to act that way anymore. I think with age and experience, I have matured. I have a friend who barely worked outside the home. Her Mom died in July and she did not put up a tree, send cards, etc., this Christmas as she is still in mourning officially. I lost my younger sister, put an angel out front, white lights, etc. I did the same for my parents, lots of white lights. I do believe now in celebrating life. I spent the days before my father's funeral preparing a "program" for his funeral which was beautiful. I included my whole family in the funeral, chose the music, etc. This would not have been possible in my younger years. My SIL was confrontational when she saw me at work during the time we were awaiting the funeral (it was over a holiday). I told her I was t preparing for the funeral. There will be some whose family tradition is to cry, wear black, shut out the whole world for 30 days, that's their way. I am so happy that I now have a (what I consider) healthier attitude toward death. I cannot believe the change in my attitude. Perhaps we all celebrate life differently. I, for one, am happy I look at things differently. When people cry, mourn, carry on, it's probably their tradition and it will continue as this is what they are used to. They are not wrong to do so. My DIL's family all wear solid black and God forbid anyone even wear a white blouse to a funeral, it is considered disrespectful! All I know is, I love the new me, I am much happier today now that I have a different attitude. I hope people celebrate my life, not stop living. I am writing my own obit, short and sweet and will probably plan my own funeral instead of leaving that task to my kids. I celebrate the life and spirt left behind, but do not disrespect those who continue to wear black and cry, as that's the only way they know how to mourn and it's not wrong. We're all different, it takes time and sometimes traditions will never change in some cultures, they are entitled to their actions and opinions, it took me a long time to change but I am much healthier and happier now. All of this is IMHO, of course. You are doing your best in your own way, good job, we need the "doers" in times of grief as well as the mourners. I would rather be a doer and feel better "doing."
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power nap
nm
power
We never lost power - had a scary period of time for about an hour - but no damage here. . two bordering counties did have a lot of damage - we were lucky. .
about DD. . I too spent money I really did not have while she was in high school. . She does seem to appreciate things but my future son-in-law's parents just have so much money and they are very controlling - and I have to admit, I am a little jealous. . DD is going this weekend to bridal fair with her future MIL. . I have to work and it is 2 hours from where I live. . but it is always that way... she is always doing things with them... my fiance says they have my DD where they want her . . they will keep her close and I will gradually be cut off. . I really don't think that will happen because DD & I went through a lot together, but you never know.
how do you keep your will power??
You are so lucky you like raw veggies. I dont at all! :(
I am a carb freak! Luckily my metabolism is still high but im nearing my 30s and no children yet so im sure after all that it will go downhill dramatically...
Honestly I would rather have bread or pasta for a dessert than sugary stuff. im not trying to say i dont like dessert because i DO but im in love with bread products, crackers... etc.
goodness...
good for you though!!! i know i need a diet change but i dont have that self control yet!
How we cut our power bill...sm
The bill arrived yesterday and it was $40 less than it usually is when compared to any summer month last year. Here's how we did this:
- I enforced people turning off lights when they leave rooms.
- We switched the light bulbs in the living room and bedroom to the energy saving energystar rated bulbs.
- When the washing machine died we replaced it with an energy saving one.
I was suprised that the power bill went down this month... especially with it begin summer and having the A/C running.
To help the kids remember to turn off the lights when they leave a room and to not leave water running that is not being used I gave them the incentive that if the utility bills came in what our usual budget is then they can have the excess money for extra activities this summer. That has sure gotten their attention!
power trippin
I told her we could make it a $5 dollar challenge for everyone like a game, but no it has to be a regular present, just at her budget.
The real truth is that last year I went to the fanciest store in the mall and bought her daughter a set of coffee cups she wanted. She was so jealous and mortified that I was making her look bad to her kid. She did not know they were on sale for $2 a set. She thought I was showing off. I thought was buying a present that was requested!
Well, VR is helping to pay
my bills so if I have to change mistakes that VR makes, so be it. Dictators make mistakes when dictating and guess what, you still have to change it....
LOL It went well. Thank you to everyone for helping!
I felt bad because none of the friends or extended family that she invited showed up. They all called to cancel.
We did not have leftover Turkey but plenty of desert and rolls. She bought 45 dinner rolls?! I think some of you are right that this is the beginning of sundowning for them. I will have to explain this to my husband because he just thinks they are losing their minds. I heard from another family member that MIL has a stash of a case candy bars in her closet and yesterday she went in the bedroom for cookie sheets to put the biscuits on. A little odd, especially being that they have extra storage area in the basement.
I think FIL took it as it was just that much less food that cost him money because he was so happy that I brought as much food as I did and kept saying how much he loved the veggie tray, etc. I think MIL was a little miffed when I got there because she didn't have room in her oven for the sides that I brought (or hers) because the single turkey breast was in the oven. There was enough room, she just didn't want to use the second rack in the oven for some reason. She didn't like my suggestion that if it was cooked to take it out of the oven and cover with foil and it would stay hot for 20 minutes while everything else finished. Luckily my BIL (who loves to cook) was there and he agreed with me and stepped in to help her out. You know I get the look like "stay the heck out of my kitchen and keep your opinion to your self" and afterwards he gets the look of "You have always been my favorite child, thank you" LOL But I understand things are different with moms and their own kids versus the spouse, especially with females.
So overall it turned out well and everyone had plenty to eat. We didn't have to run out for burgers or home for dinner.
Good for you, now send some of your Will-power my way please. nm
!
Good for the school! More power to them!
Someone has got to teach the what-comes-up-must-come-down and action/opposite reaction and other such lessons.
power outage yesterday
Will someone explain how it is that a power plant shutting down in Miami yesterday caused 3 million people across the state of Florida including myself to lose power 100s of miles away? I'm literally like 270 miles away and had no power for 2 hours. Since I'm an IC, no power equals no work equals no money! Urggh so frustrating how often we lose power in Florida!
Maybe it was the main power station for
the state, everything may have run through it.
Such as how much nuclear fire-power you have....
.
Oh, thank you for helping those dogs
get home. I'm sure they had a wonderful romp, and I'm glad they didn't get hurt. They are really smart dogs. Mine got loose many times without somebody breaking into my house!
I now work at a perennial plant nursery. I am an inventory control specialist, and it involves a lot of physical labor, which I am loving. I feel so much better than when I was locked in a chair all day. So far this company is doing okay financially, but not great with the economy. Last year was tough because of drought, and this year there was plenty of rain, so we had hoped for a great year until the economy went in the toilet. Many companies like this are going bankrupt, but so far we are okay, but no raises this year.
USA needs more women in power to balance things
I don't think women's hormones are a reason not to vote for them. Men (cough Bush cough) tend to have little-man syndrome, or little something else syndrome and like to start big wars to prove something imo. "Me strong man. Me powerful." Their egos are just as dangerous as any hormone fluctuations women may have.
I think we need a more equal balance of men and women in power. Together we can see every angle of a situation. Just like with raising children. Ideally it is best to have both a mother and a father for the child so that it will have the best of both worlds, and I think the same goes for our country. (nothing against single parents - I was one for a few years, but it was difficult going it alone, and I have the utmost respect for single parents. They have the hardest job on Earth!)
If you do something like that make sure you have a generator as a source of power.
will eventually run out and you will have no way to recharge it. In the event of an emergency you would be out of luck unless you have a generator to provide power to the outlets in your home. We have one landline phone with absolutely no features on it. It is simply a basic phone line connected to a regular telephone that plugs directly to the phone line. It is not a phone that requires electricity. A basic phone line with absolutely no extra features is inexpensive.
Power Outage @ Traffic Intersection
We met during a power failure. He was running a generator to keep the traffic lights at a railroad crossing working (worked for road commission), and I was at my second job doing transcription and trying to find out when the power would be on so I could do my reports and go home. Walked up to the intersection and asked him. He said he would called electric company in about a half hour and check back then. 90 degree heat and humid after hellacious thunderstorms knocked the power out all over the city. I came back and took him a bottle of water, a cookie, and a bag of chips. He said thanks and said it would be about one more hour. He watched me walked back to the building and when the power was on came and told my boss how nice I was and checked the fuse box. Came back two nights later with flowers and asked me out. The rest is history . . . Married five years and still going strong.
Helping kids, see inside
I bought my daughter her first car, something old, sound, reliable and safe, nothing snazzy, she paid her own insurance as she was in college and worked parttime. When that car went, I helped her get her next, took her to my dealer, we picked out something reliable, nothing sporty, I gave her the down payment and co-signed and she made her payments and paid her own insurance. Her college was a commute, not roads I would want her biclying or skateboarding on. When she was older, done with school, still with the parttime job, but actively seeking fulltime, she found a sporty car she wanted and I told her this time, she was on her own. In 1999, she got brand new car (at a much younger than I did), she paid it off early, she is now married, 31, has a house, working a good job and also working on making a family. I think little help can go a long way. I for one, am pround of her.
My dream would be a weekend of him helping (sm)
When he and I and the kids all work on getting everything back in order. But he would be angry the whole time, as if he shouldn't have to be doing it. I may end up hiring someone. I have thought about it all day. It would be worth it!
Of course it is!!! Makeup is for helping people
nm
Glad yours are helping.....my computer
xx
If he starts by helping himself, I will jump in. He saw
x
Any suggestions on helping my puppy with
let to be held.
Agree, you need a helping hand
When my sister had her first baby, she became overwhelmed quickly. You sound similar to how she was feeling. So my mom and I started helping her out here and there, going over and staying with my nephew so she could leave the house for a couple hours, even if it was to grocery shop or run errands, just so she could get out alone. Or we'd go get him and take him to our house for a couple hours, with instructions to her to TAKE A NAP or read a book, or something relaxing. If you have family or friends willing to help out, take them up on it. They wouldn't volunteer if they didn't want to do it.
My sister's husband was helping out too, but he worked a lot of hours, 6 days a week. In my sister's case, she was very independent and used to doing what she wanted when she wanted before the baby and I think that was part of what overwhelmed her, the feeling that she couldn't just pick up her purse and go somewhere as easily as before. Good luck. This will pass, don't be so hard on yourself.
Agree, you need a helping hand
When my sister had her first baby, she became overwhelmed quickly. You sound similar to how she was feeling. So my mom and I started helping her out here and there, going over and staying with my nephew so she could leave the house for a couple hours, even if it was to grocery shop or run errands, just so she could get out alone. Or we'd go get him and take him to our house for a couple hours, with instructions to her to TAKE A NAP or read a book, or something relaxing. If you have family or friends willing to help out, take them up on it. They wouldn't volunteer if they didn't want to do it.
My sister's husband was helping out too, but he worked a lot of hours, 6 days a week. In my sister's case, she was very independent and used to doing what she wanted when she wanted before the baby and I think that was part of what overwhelmed her, the feeling that she couldn't just pick up her purse and go somewhere as easily as before. Good luck. This will pass, don't be so hard on yourself.
Agree, you need a helping hand
When my sister had her first baby, she became overwhelmed quickly. You sound similar to how she was feeling. So my mom and I started helping her out here and there, going over and staying with my nephew so she could leave the house for a couple hours, even if it was to grocery shop or run errands, just so she could get out alone. Or we'd go get him and take him to our house for a couple hours, with instructions to her to TAKE A NAP or read a book, or something relaxing. If you have family or friends willing to help out, take them up on it. They wouldn't volunteer if they didn't want to do it.
My sister's husband was helping out too, but he worked a lot of hours, 6 days a week. In my sister's case, she was very independent and used to doing what she wanted when she wanted before the baby and I think that was part of what overwhelmed her, the feeling that she couldn't just pick up her purse and go somewhere as easily as before. Good luck. This will pass, don't be so hard on yourself.
Works great for me, too! Power napping and then I work much better, too!
:)
The woman and their babies often died - knowledge is power-
xx
These things called batteries...they power your radio. nm
n
was wondering about you....glad you're helping yourself
nm
Well you are really not helping matters or having people side with you
when you keep bragging about how wonderful your kids are and family your family is, lol.. and assuming everyone else's is all screwed up. You know what they say.....usually one who accuses is the one with the problems. People who truly have a wonderful family life and great kids do not usually have a need to keep reaffirming and reassuring everyone of that fact ; )
I think maybe the boy sucked out some of your sanity...
:)
Prime example of "when helping harms".
 Like the previous poster, as a dog lover, I am appalled that they would use this animal. Are you positive the dog even had surgery and if so, what kind just out of curiosity. Are you sure your money went to that. I also find it odd that the dog would still be in so much pain several months later. Are you sure the dude is not taking the meds himself? It happens. Desparate times call for desparate measures. I would just explain to her either on the phone, email or write her that while you value your friendship with her, you feel that you have gone beyond the call of friendship here and that you can not longer provide funding for the dog's care (or her son's drug habit). Technically, by not taking care of his responsibilities himself this is allowing him to take what money he should be using on the dog and spend this on drugs. Therefore, yes, making you an enabler as well. Just like they do on the show "Intervention". You have to quit giving in. Tell her that if she is not able to care for the dog that you will be glad to find or help her find a home for it, but that you no longer can afford financially and consciously to keep sending money. Just validate your friendship. If she is a true friend she will understand this. She might need more encouragement to break away from enabling him. It is hard to do. Trust me I have siblings that are addicted and we have had to just cut them off, especially after loosing another sibling only 5mos. earlier for same reason. This is one of those times "when helping harms". Attached is a great site to give you a little reassurance. Might send this to her as well. Good luck. Try to get the dog out if you can, that may be impossible though. If you think that without your care it is being abused, please report it to thier local animal society or animal control. This can be done anonymously.
your Trailer Park attitude is probably not helping
nm
My husband was doing me a "favor" by helping me hunt down
a new ergonomic keyboard a few years ago and he called our local Office Depot... Asked the person on the other end if they had any erogenous keyboards.
I was choking back the laughter and trying to get his attention to correct him but he's the kind of guy that HATES to be interrupted for ANYTHING so he held up his hand to me and gave me a dirty look, then repeated the question to the person on the other end who was no doubt having a fit of laughter themselves, transferred him to another department, where he repeated the question AGAIN.
By this time, I could not control myself any longer. I was laughing hysterically and he finally hung up the phone because he was mad at me. Then I explained to him what he was asking for and he was really mad.
I just said, aren't you glad they didn't say that they had some and you reserved one to be picked up later today?
I could just see him walking to the service counter to pick up the "erogenous keyboard" he had set aside! LOL
Medicare questions for helping my relative
I have a relative who wants to live alone although she really needs some basic care such as grocery buying, food prepared, light cleaning in her home, going to doctors appointments, the very basics of everyday life. I will be able to pay through her bank what she needs for lights, cable and things like that (she has gotten to where she cannot make out a check because of tremors in her hands). She went to live with another relative and it has not worked out at all. She has been on her own for years and wants to be that way again as much as possible. Is there anyone out there who knows what Medicare does to help out the elderly and give me any information you might have.
I've decided to start a cookie business! Anyone up for helping me out with a name?
I know with the economy and all, it's probably not a good time to open a new business, but I've been thinking about this for years and just want to do it anyway and very happy and excited about it!
So, some words I've been playing around with are yummy, goodies, goodness, sweets, comfort, cookies ... but nothing is really grabbing me. I've even tried to think of ideas without those type of words above, such as "Big D's" or whatever.
If anyone has any good ideas, I'd love to hear them!
Looking for graduation party ideas for son's graduation. I have a few friends helping me sm
but any new ideas would be great too. This is my first born graduating so I'm kind of clueless what I'm doing. One friend suggested a poster board with lots of his pictures. My sister suggested putting his trophies, awards, acceptance letter from his college, etc. on a table. As far as food, we are having sloppy joes, meatballs, pulled pork sandwiches, possibly some sausage sandwiches, fried chicken, pasta salad, macaroni salad, german potato salad, olives, pickles, nuts, cookies, chips/pretzels, dip, cookies, cake, etc. Any more ideas?? I'll be doing this three more times (oldest son is 18, youngest son is 3 so I have a while in between - hopefully I'll be a "pro" by the time the youngest graduates!! XXXXX)
Ahh, the power of confession. For each confession posted here sm
know that you are all one step closer to overcoming or changing your confession into something positive. The first step to change is confessing there is a problem. You have brought your issue to the light - and once exposed you can now change it. Whether or not you want to change it, you probably will change it for the sake of conscience.
Except for the sake of popping zits on the backs of pigs. Blech!
Oh, I confess: I will exaggerate to make a story appear better than it actually is, I don't like my looks at all, I don't like my in-laws one single bit, and I, too, have mildew in my shower!
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