You've got to be joking - you are so insensitive
Posted By: Everyday MT on 2008-05-27
In Reply to: To Done: STAY ! - EvaEv
I read this post and couldn't believe it. She asked for positive feedback and you tell her this? What kind of a person are you? Sheesh. Her husband certainly does not sound like he has a lot of good qualities. To write a letter to your wife pointing out all the flaws. And then you tell her she is spoiled and unthankful???? With friends like you who needs enemies. “Ms. Done” sounds like she needs encouragement and reinforcement and some love and self esteem. Nobody should listen to your words. I don’t know who is worse you or her husband.
To Done: My situation is not as bad as yours but I’ve had my moments. Luckily I don’t have children, so I don’t have to face the situation and struggles that you do. I have been married for 25 years. My husband doesn’t beat me. We laugh a lot, but sometimes I can’t put it into words but sometimes I too feel like I’m no longer in love with him (not all the time, just moments here and there). Other days I just go through the motions of breathing, working, and daily routine stuff. People who don’t know you or your situation will just tell you in an instant to leave but its not that easy and they are not standing in your shoes. Years ago mine told me I was dumpy and acting like an old lady (I was 43 at the time). He told me that when I sit and do cross stitch I look like an old lady. He tells me in an instant if I'm doing something wrong. Once time I said something to him and he came back with “you must have been a mean kid growing up saying hurtful things. I’ll bet you didn’t have many friends”. Talk about being taken aback I was too shocked to even think of a response to say. For the most part we laugh a lot, but there are days that I wonder why in the world I hastened into marriage and believe that I have done something horrible thing in a previous life and this is karma. But that’s just my struggles I will deal with.
On another note, I am a child of an unhappy marriage. I won’t put blame on either my mom or my dad. They were going through their times and my sister and I were too young to understand the troubles or feelings they were going through. My baby sister died when she was 16 months old from meningitis and I know that was a big strain. Anyway…my dad stayed until my sister and I were old enough to understand what was going on, but it was not a happy home with all the fighting. When I turned 16 my mom and dad sat down with my sister and I and told us they were separating. I think I probably shocked them both because I said to them “It’s about time”. I told them all they do is fight and if they are not happy together why are they staying together. I said as long as they were happy I was happy and if being separated means them being happy then I’m for it as long as I can see them both as much or whenever I want to.
You might want to talk about seeing a counselor together and maybe they can help work out the problems with you and your husband. I don't know your husband or what he's like. I'm sure he has some good qualities, but if he does not want to contribute and work it out and thinks he is perfect and does nothing wrong and that writing you a letter pointing out your flaws is an okay way for a husband to treat his wife and if he won’t get counseling and doesn’t want to keep the marriage together then there are always other options.
I think most kids are a lot tougher than parents believe, and if you decide to leave with the help of a counselor or someone (other than your husband) to talk to them I’m sure they will make it through just fine. I wish my mom and dad had divorced a long time before they actually did so they would have been happier. It was very hard to see them both unhappy.
On the other hand you could be like me Irish friend and dish back to your husband what he gives to you. I’d say you should write him a letter pointing out all his flaws and insecurities. Then when he doesn’t seem too happy about it tell him… “There see how it feels? You don’t like it do you”.
Anyway…I wish you the best and hope you find happiness soon, and please don’t listen to EvaEv. She sounds like a real piece of work. – Hey maybe she is your husbands sister. Sounds like two peas in a pod! Just remember….you have great worth, and you are a good person and you deserve to be happy and your kids will be much happier knowing you are happy.
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You've got to be joking
What are you the thought police? I'll tell you...there are some whacked out religious nuts who are the last people I want "teaching" consequences to people they don't know anything about. I say to everyone out there as my mom used to say to me....keep your nose out of where it doesn't belong.
I know, you always get those insensitive jerks SM
who just see your pain as an opportunity to make you feel worse. Can you imagine how miserable those people must be if they get on off on our misery? 
What an extremely tacky and insensitive
x
not to mention totally insensitive to his CHILDREN!!!
to have published this while raising his children at home - really REEKS!...........but then he's become a real no-role-model.......
Heisman Trophy winner? That was decades ago.....*lol*
Are you joking?!???
.. I am a proud 58-year-old woman who is in an accelerated program to get my AA (almost there!) with the aim of a bachelor's degree starting next year. When I started the accelerated program, HALF of the students were around my age, in their 50's. Let me tell you, I am having the best time of my life. I relish being around the other half of the students who are in their late teens, 20's,30's, and 40's. My life experience and my work experience add a richness to the class as do the others my age. We have become a family, a tight network of friends who support each other to reach our goal - a degree and keep going. I have made friends for life here with the women who are all experiencing what I am experiencing - the death of their job by outsourcing, attrition, or just burned out and wanting a degree to get into something else. I realize now that no matter what, I will never stop going to school. It is a permanent fixture in my life even if it means a class here, a class there. Learning is fun,challenging, and the friendships you will make will add to your life.
At 40, you will find others older than you, and at 40, you will add rich experiences to the younger ones in your class. This year, there are double the amount of older ones going into accelerated degree programs at our school, so much so that they have had to open up other classes and expand. This is becoming the norm. GO FOR IT!!
Your joking right?
Wow you're gullable and niave and I'll probably get banned from posting... How old are you? Common sense is something you lack.
I agree. And even if she was joking, what an
idiotic joke that would be, and disrespectful to do something like that when someone is achieving the success that they only dreamed about 2 years ago while WATCHING the CMA awards. I'm really disappointed in Faith.
You must be joking!! NOYB!!
She could have been joking. Lighten up. nm
xx
You must be joking! He NEVER call should
be a signal you i-d-i-o-t!!
she was just joking, relax...nm
nm
You must surely be joking.
This is the worst conspiracy rant I've ever seen - and the dumbest, if you know anything about the economics behind this theory. No government wants the cost (there is no "profit" whatsoever to the government) of an unhealthy population.
It is real. She claims she was joking but I don't think so
and I'm a Faith Hill fan. I think someone told her she had won, she was expecting it, so she was shocked.
AND, if it really WAS a joke then I actually it makes her look even worse. Who would make a joke like that and take away from Carrie's moment??? NOT funny IMO.
Coors Light? naw just joking ;-)
I had the same problem, but just decided to go with the flow. I started working graveyard and sleeping during the day. I was able to work within family constraints and felt much better.
Don't know if that's an option for you, though. I tried Tylenol PM and other OTC sleep aids but they gave me restless leg syndrome for some reason which made matter a million times worse.
Hope you're able to find some relief.
Please tell me you're joking about RV, horrible movie, NM
z
If you've got one, you've got bunches!
How do ya feel about cats? That's what I'd do...get a cat...but I love cats and love it when they bring me 'presents' of dead varmints.
If that's not an option, and you're not comfortable with baiting, glue traps, or that sort of thing, it'd be worth it to hire a professional 'cridder ridder' or exterminator. Those things will chew up your walls and floorboards like you have no idea and cause incredible amounts of damage. Good luck in your jihad!
I've done this 12 yrs and I've had to take breaks sm
Took a break and worked at my kids preschool one year, worked at a hospital one year, took a couple months off once. It does burn you out because it takes all of your concentration. When I worked at the hospital as a secretary I could not believe how easy the job was ;-) I was sooo used to just getting paid for actual work that when I had a conversation with a coworker or a phone call or took lunch, I felt like I was getting away with a lot! I hope your break works out!! I wish you lived close-by, we could take turns watching each others kids ;-)
I've been using...
Zicam severe congestion. It gives me temporary relief and I've been taking Singulair, but originally nasal discharge was clear, this morning it was yellow (don't mean to gross anybody out). Could it have turned into a sinus infection? And if so, is it time to see the doctor??
I've tried that...
I've done that along with changing my diet but still no relief. I just received an e-mail saying to try vitamin E which is what I am going to try next.
Thanks a bunch.....
I will try that too, I've had enough of this...sm
where to I go to do this, remove IE7 and reinstall IE6.
TIA
oh yea, we've been through that one . . SM
My husband is the type of person that avoids conflict, does not want to face it, because if you pretend it's not there, it isn't, right???? Yea. He was in counseling for a while, but never went back after a few times. He really felt like last night was a punch in the face, like it's a game or something . . . like if you look the part, you ARE the part.
I've been there...
Hang in there...
I have one, but I've only had it for a day
I definitely can't do more than a minute on it, as it REALLY targets my inner thighs. I can really feel it working already, but I don't know what the benefit is going to be to everything it states, i.e. thighs, abs, back. I did a lot of research before I bought it and the only negatives I found were about ordering it through the company's website. So, I ordered it through QVC and saved a lot of money. Plus I received it only 3 days after I ordered it with no extra shipping charge.
A few I've seen....
The Wedding Date
Must Love Dogs
In Her Shoes
The Family Stone
In Good Company
What's the most you've ever won? sm
How did you win it?
I've with you on that! --nm
nm
LOL, I've seen some of those!
I admit it, I must be a pervert 'cause I think it's hysterical.
I've been on it
now going on 3 weeks and love it. I never use up my points and am always full. Best thing is you can still eat the foods you love. I only purchased the starter kit and did not join. I feel better and have lost weight and best of all I'm never hungry. But, like everything else, 1 diet doesn't fit all. I've tried Nutrisystem, Adkins,Right Size Smoothies, and Medifast and they didn't work for me. So far WW has worked. Also, you don't have to give up the "cool ones" on this plan.
me too - I've been doing this for over 9 (sm)
Same problem, and it doesn't go away overnight. Mostly my right (pedal) foot. Is yours?
I think I've seen something like this
But can't remember which one...a bride having her bridesmaids sign a contract, yeah right...I'd tell her exactly where she could put all her demands...geez!
We've actually done that (sm)
There is, unfortunately, an "out", meaning that if they have ever been invited to call (We refi'd our house and had been calling mortgage brokers, etc) they are exempt from the list, at least in New York. So it could be a brokerage or something trying to drum up business (not my problem)but all I have is an 866 number to go by, no name on the caller-ID. I wonder if you can get them back on the list after your business is finished.
I've been there
I understand. For 17 years I dealt with this, always feeling like I was never doing enough, if only I could do more then maybe.... I became very ill myself because of it. I had no life of my own, -- I lived for the next crisis, just like you -- and no one could understand, not even my doctor. I didn't find peace until I took the burden off my shoulders and put it on His--until I realized I had a responsibililty to God for my own life and I was losing my life, my freedom to find His Will for me and do it, to someone else's addiction. In this case, it was my mothers's. She was there night and day as well, no escaping. I gave up my outside job and worked from home too. I finally had to move in order to remain sane and THEN other family members had to start doing their share of helping out while I tried to regain some sense of self. It wasn't until then that she even got a clue that I had a right to my own life.
Your daughter, loved though she be, is robbing you of your life. That is not right. But I don't know of a stronger bond than that between a mother and a daughter no matter what problem may arise. One can never really walk away, forget it, etc. like so many will tell you to do. Inside, that bond lives strong. All you can do is find a way to deal with it, a way that is fair to you, healthy for you, a way that will keep you strong or else she will take you down with her.
For me, it was distancing myself physically and praying for her. I realized for all my love of her, only He could make the changes in her, and He did once I acknowledged how true the words are, "Without Me, you can do nothing." Now I pray for and expect miracles if it so be His Will when I have problems I cannot resolve. It brings great peace and strength -- and HOPE because I've seen first-hand how prayer made with faith truly does bring them and I don't feel like I am carrying the burden all by myself anymore and then I accept whatever He lets happen, realizing He in His wisdom knows more than I.
Talk to a therapist -- tell them what you've just written here. Again, they might have access to resources you don't know about. If their advice sounds harsh, and it probably will, listen anyway. Consider it. Your life DOES matter too. But don't ever lose hope in God. Ask for the strength and courage to do what must be done for the sake of the both of you and grace for her to change. Nothing is impossible for Him to do. Nothing.
Have you read the books by Melodie Beattie? They help. Feel free to e-mail me if you wish.
Oh thank God. I've been following this sm
and have been just sickened by the whole thing. What a pretty little girl. Such a terrible thing to happen to an innocent child.
N/T - That's what I've been doing
I've been watching a lot of episodes, or at least bits and pieces of them online to get caught up. Some things still confuse me. The new season looks really good.
I don't think I've met one since
I was a kid. You're right - it is a very alert breed. It could run very fast and bark, definitely running a tight ship, even if it was on dry land.
They are very beautiful dogs, and live longer than any breed, which sounds really good to me.
Yes I've had it (sm)
and it is very annoying, but it did go away. I just tried to get my exercise and sleep and do some facial stretching exercises where I stretch and relax my jaw and other facial muscles. I try to pretend the twitch isn't there, and pretty soon it isn't.
Hope it quits soon.
Yes I've had one
I had one a few years ago...not that bad, just uncomfortable. It only takes a few minutes. It's like a large needle that they insert through a small incision over the area in question. It suctions a bit of tissue out and that's it. Mine was benign. Good luck to you!
Thank you....I've done it...sm
4 times and my sons have done it once...They went through blazes in the south in high school with their long, patterned braided hair (they learned to braid themselves bkz I could never get it tight enough to suit them). But, when ridiculed by their coaches, school administration and teaching staff they replied, "Cause we want to donate to Locks of Love like mom, and it's hard to get a good grade of black hair...It's not just white kids that get cancer".  Cat
I've got to say
 That sex scene with the old girlfriend amputee was quite something! I'll never be the same!
I've done this...and..
I was a struggling single parent working for a doctor and in the 10 years I worked for him I had to get an advance twice. He was very kind and thought nothing about helping me. He also gave me a loan to get out of debt with a 3-year payback plan ($50 out of each check). This way he also insured that I would stay at least 3 year until my debt was worked off..LOL..so it worked for us and I ended up staying 10 years and I still do fill-in work for him. He saved a single mom's life..I would never ask a large employer, but usually small companies are very kind to their employees as they want to keep you..
If MT is all you've ever done, and yer too old for - sm
going back to school to be a viable option if yer already workin' a 12 to 14-hr day, then yes, we ARE struggling. The only way an MT can make money these days is to marry it.
Yes, actually I've currently got - sm
FOUR litter pans. I clean them constantly, wash out daily, have tried every kind of litter they sell. She doesn't seem to care, except she wont use the natural kinds. Feliway was an expensive failure. It seems to be more behavioral than anything. If I stand right there and say "Use your box", she will. (Knows she's gonna get a treat!) crate-training helped the first time, by the 4th it was fruitless. Called the rescue she came from but they won't take her back, saying she's un-adoptable, and the only choice left is to put her down. So, this is pretty much her last chance. Getting the medication into her is no walk in the park, either - she hooked a claw right into a vein on my arm last night. I advertised her for adoption last week, just to see if I got any takers, and all I got was a kid with a boa constrictor.
I've had 4...
I was a flake, but I was also a fertile turtle and a statistic: 2 pregnancies happened WHILE on birth control. The first time, I was a teenager. There is no way I could have had a kid. I don't regret ending the pregnancies; I didn't feel guilty, & I still don't. I remember at the time I was consumed with anxiety about the whole thing, but I never considered having a baby & giving it up. Selfish? Whatever. Sometimes I think the word "selfish" has gotten a bad rap. I couldn't formulate the thought of, let alone wrap my mind around, the concept of going through a pregnancy & making someone else a parent when I was 16.
The last 2 pregnancies occurred when I was on birth control and was married. I simply did not want to have a kid. Period.
For awhile 4 abortions seemed like a huge number until I talked to a birth control counselor at a college I was going to...she told me that on her first day as a counselor she had talked to a woman who had had 28 (not a typo) abortions. Now THAT is extreme. I don't think abortion should be a form of birth control.
I've never regretted not having children. There have been times I have regretted not having gone through the birth experience, but I have never, ever wanted to be a parent. So it's okay. Mothering, at least in part, can be experienced in other ways (beyond the scope of this post), & this is enough for me.
I've done it - sm
When we would go on vacation and still had milk I'd freeze it rather than pour it down the drain. It always seemed fine when I thawed it out again. Not to mention, I used to always freeze breast-milk when I was working out of the house or for babysitters (for what it's worth). Go ahead - give it a try. The only thing, though, it will probably go bad a little faster after it's thawed.
I've been there
I have been in your shoes. Last year my husband died unexpectedly at age 56, I literally woke up one morning and he was dead in our bed next to me (aneurysm). That started a downhill spiral . . . . since then I've lost our home to foreclosure, my car has been repo'd, and I lost my job due to cuts at the hospital. I can't begin to tell you how depressed I've been. I've had to make some major changes as you can well imagine. I am working now and starting to pull myself up out of the dark hole I've been in.
The poster above is right. You need to see a doctor. I found out that most major health systems have programs for those of us with no insurance and no money. Call their financial offices and just tell them point blank you need to be seen and you have no insurance. They will not refuse you. I found a clinic near my house that is part of a large hospital. I was able to see a doctor for a physical and get my annual Pap and mammogram done at no charge. They gave me samples of my medications (I have asthma) for a few months until I had insurance again. They prescribed an antidepressant which worked wonders and they gave me that as samples each month.
Move closer to your family. You'd be surprised how supportive and helpful they can be. My family has been supportive of all the decisions I've had to make and helped me through them. Spend time with your grandchild, kids can make you feel so much better. If you're not making much money, go sign up for assistance. I did. I didn't think I ever would, but I had no choice. For just myself I was given 174.00 a month for food and it helped out tremendously. I know it's hard, but you have worked all these years and you have paid into these programs all along, now is the time for you to benefit from them. You may be hesitant to take free medical care or ask for food benefits, but remember THIS IS ONLY TEMPORARY and you will get back on your feet. It may take a while, but you will make it. Good luck to you.
I've been there.
I don't believe in getting even - although, whew! I'm human. I've performed several mental castrations.
But through quiet observance, being stuck around this person albeit distant, I learned I didn't have to stoop. Life took care of that time and time again with the fool.
Talk it out with the right person, cry it out, write it out as much as you can; key word is out. Find an outlet, running, drawing; don't bury it within.
the few i've known that had
deer as 'pets', did not let them roam free. Guess you'd have to call local (animal control?) and see.
a roaming wild animal pet is in grave danger, because their natural instincts are replaced with trust. Persohally I don't agree with keeping deer as pets, esp in a neighborhood.
I've been there s/m
If you feel you have done everything to try to make it work, then you know what you need to do. After leaving my ex and having two children, I received help for daycare. I was able to obtain health insurance from where I was employed, so that did help. Do not count on child support, as it was court ordered with mine, but he decided to go back to school and only work part-time and they can only garnish so much of one's wages by federal law. I would sometimes receive $15 for two weeks. He did end up catching up after he graduated though.
Back then (15 years ago) they didn't have the different health plans offered by the state, but depending on where you live, here in Michigan they have MI-Child for those who qualify. It is a great program. $10 a month and everything is covered. That would at least get your kids covered.
You need to believe in yourself and set your mind to it. It will be a rough road, but it is possible.
Best of luck to you.
You've done all you can...
It is up to her. She is a grown woman who should not be acting that way. You invited her, but also told her that it was okay if she didn't want to come. I would just drop it. It would do her some good not to have people seeking her out. Let her come to YOU this time. You've done the best you could. Merry Christmas :-)
I've been going since I was 15, and 36 now. sm
I've tried MANY different chiropractors from different schools (the philosophies and approaches vary from chiro school to school). While I enjoyed the ones I went to twice per week indefinitely, I found I was becoming SO loose that i would fall out of alignment EASIER, which is counterproductive. My current DC whom I've been with for 4+ years now has me on a once-per-month schedule, unless I have a spasm attack and then that is p.r.n., usually once to twice per week x2. It takes some trial and error to find what's right for your situation. I have scoliosis and am more prone to spasms and will never fully 'heal' so mine TX is continuous maintenance. Don't be afraid to speak up!
Yes, I've done that. nm
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