Yes, you need 2 separate gifts - sm
Posted By: XXX on 2007-07-24
In Reply to: Wedding question. SM - MissouriMT
I have not been to one of these in so long I do not remember. I generally went with something more personal with a bridal shower gift but we are talking about best friends, and then something for the 2 of them with a wedding gift. You can always give money for both though. Surprised though they are doing a shower, they should have everything they both need by this time in their life. Maybe some nice kitchen towels or knives or something of that nature if you do not want to go personal; for the wedding gift maybe a gift certificate to a local restuarant (something useful you know they will use). If you do not attend though, you do not have to send a gift though a card would be the nice thing to do.
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That's why there are separate bedrooms - sm
quite a lifesaver in my book, even with that though I can hear him through the wall sometimes. I don't think he has sleep apnea, always associate that with being overweight (he is not at 5 feet 11 inches, 163 pounds); so I presume deviated septum. Of course he won't get it checked out. Unless it was a condition of work he just will not go to a doctor, hopefully I will not become a widow because of his stubborness and fear.
I don't see why you would have to open a separate--sm
account just to deposit that check. Once the bank cashes the check, you get the money. If there are not sufficient funds, that will go against HIM, not YOU. He will have to pay the extra fees, etc. to have the check clear. You get your money, either way. They cannot take it away from you if there is not enough money in HIS account.
They are 2 separate boards.
You'll find the Christianity board listed right about in the middle of the list of boards to the left. See Gab Board, then Conservatives, then Liberals, then Christianity.
I separate mine from his - see why
My husband is completely financially irresponsible and has no idea how to budget.
After spending two years trying to sort out his last horrible mess, his is his and mine is mine now and will be forever more.
Could be a reason why they separate theirs too.
Same here. We have separate accounts and
he has his bills and I have mine. I do know what he makes though and our accounts are linked to the same access so I can at least see what he spends and vice versa.
Yes, and we have separate bank accounts ;)
x
take dog home with you; put cat in separate room for now.
nm
Going on 10 years, separate monies and
we have absolutely no problem with things. We half up big money items such as house taxes, vehicle insurance, the big bills but then he pays for the home, his truck, my BMW he bought me. I pay the smaller bills such as utilies because I have the smaller amount made. Works great for us. No problems ever.
can you separate the flavor from salt?
no, no more than you can separate the Christianity from the Christian. why should he have to HIDE his Bible in a drawer -- because the mere sight of it offends you non-believers? now THAT is silly. and calling the word of God propaganda is very offensive. Ah, but no so much to me as to HIM. and you will one day be before that 'big guy in the sky' and wishing you hadn't been so foolish.
I filed separate from my spouse at the time--sm
against an old (over 10 years) student loan that I had. That was the only thing I filed against and it was way before my spouse and I had even married. Even though I filed in my name only, it affected his credit too, just because we were married. It continued to affect his credit even after we divorced 10 years later. Better think twice. It is not always a good idea to file bankruptcy as a way out of debt. Cut up those cards and start paying cash for things you want/need. The interest on most of those cards will keep you in debt forever. Been there! but not any more! good luck to you!
Has anyone filed bankruptcy separate from their spouse?
My husband and I have all bills and checking accounts separate except for the cars and we split the household bills. I have a ton of credit card debt and with MT pay being less all the time, was thinking this may be the only way out. I know the spouse doesn't have to file if their name isn't on the account, but is this very hard to do? Thanks for any info.
Some married people have separate accts just like
my husband and I. I don’t know what he has, what he makes each week- the only time we know really is when we do our taxes. He and I have our own banking accts but we are signed on just in case the need arises. It might work for her- does for me.
Separate bathrooms would definitely be great, or 1 huge one. Nix to the double
s
Child support is a separate issue from visitation. nm
x
I'd be totally ticked! Time for a compromise or separate
s
Feed in separate rooms, leave in with food for 1/2hr.
x
Keeping that part of my life separate sounds best -
I have been asked on dates but just have not been interested. I feel stuck just wishing we could all be a normal family again (the 4 of us). I even think ahead to when I'm a grandma down the road and still can't picture me with a new man! I don't know, maybe I'm just destined to remain alone unless I met the guy who was a perfect fit with my kids.
I see lots of posts from marrieds with separate accounts.
Are my husband and I the last of the money-poolers? We have no separate accounts, and we don't keep track of who paid in more or less to anything. He makes more than I do, but it all goes into the family pot. I do have it easy at tax time, though. Hubby is a CPA. I haven't prepared a tax return since 1983. Haven't balanced the checkbook, either. I just peak over his shoulder. He's self-employed, which is no cake-walk. We pay estimated taxes quarterly and we NEVER get a refund. Even when DH was an employee, we never got refunds. It's a CPA thing. He has a long speech about not wanting to give money to the government interest-free. I don't care. He handles it, and that makes me happy.
Thank you! From a Mom who had 2 daughters, serving 3 separate tours in Iraq - twice over Christmas.
.
why do you make your lasagne one day, separate it into meal size portions, freeze it, and eat it for
;
16 yo gifts
some ideas: A set of weights and a jumprope for working out,a gift card for tunes for his ipod, the complete set of all Rocky movies. My 15 yo is an athlete too and works out constantly. He loves our weight set more than anything.
I appreciate all my gifts. sm
I wear what I don't like. I set out for all to see what I don't like as well. I use everything whether I like it or not. I never put anything in the closet that I get. I never take anything back. I only exchange what doesn't fit for what does. I believe that if someone is nice enough to take the time to get me something, then I should take the time to wear/display it. JMHO.
If it says no gifts
then I don't take a gift. If you want to give her something privately at another time, you could probably do that.
no gifts
Will this be a high-end catered party or could you help the hostess with all the running around to different stores picking up ingredients, cake, decorations or prepping in the kitchen? I would honor the no gifts request. Cat
No gifts
How about a donation to her favorite charity in her name? You wouldn't be giving a gift per se publicly but she would probably appreciate the gesture.
re: no gifts
AWWWW get a gag gift then! Thats what we've done for friends of ours. A friend of ours was turning a bit gray when he was turning 40 and so we all showed up with white hair spray paint in our hair to tease him. He laughed and said we were all cruel! LOL funny thing is now mine is gray!!! lololol
gifts..sm
How many in your office? Are you the PR person in the ofc with the budget from petty cash and going out to buy all the gifts? If that is the case, I would suggest getting everyone Kooshballs in different colors. Who can't resist a new toy on their desk? Just don't peg anyone in the eye when you have your Kooshball fight!  Cat
Gifts...
Package of mini-Sharpies, they come in different colors; gel pens; Post-It note cubes, there are some cute snowmen, Santa ones; gift card from video store; ornaments.
No more gifts!
Sick of all of it, going to spend my money where it's needed, no more "stuff". Plenty of others out there who really need it. Been there!
gifts
There are complicated metal puzzles that are not expensive, but are very entertaining for adults and teens. I have also found extravagant adult coloring books. I think that times are changing and in the future there will be less emphasis on gifts, but for now strange and unexpected can be just as good as expensive.
http://www.mindwareonline.com/MWESTORE/Home/HomePage.aspx?&SG=PMDG1
Did everyone like their Christmas gifts or are there any you don't like? sm
I like all of mine except for the one my stepdaughter insisted that she get for me. It's an Italian charm bracelet and while it has a bunch of cute charms on it, it's not really my style of thing to wear. She ended up spending almost $4 00 on this thing because a lot of the charms were custom made or special order items, all bought on eBay, so I'm stuck with this piece of jewelry. My husband tried telling her that I wouldn't care for this type of thing but she thought I'd really like it and talked him into not receiving a gift from her so she could get this for me. Maybe it'll grow on me over time.
The other gifts, including those of jewelry from my husband, are things I like and will enjoy using around the house or having.
What I did - Christmas gifts
The year after I got a vacuum cleaner for Christmas -- I picked up several things that I wanted -- clothes, jewelry, perfume and wrapped them and put them to him and when he unwrapped them I told him his present was to see me in these things, or smell the perfume, etc. I also got him a few things for the house, ie. towels and low and behold that was the last time that I did not receive something personal for Christmas. They really do not understand and unless we communicate to them and accept the treatment it will continue.
When it says no gifts, I always take a card. nm
!
No budget, but don't really buy gifts.
Hubby and I only give gifts to people we live with. Which means, we give gifts only to our children. But even for the kids, we don't focus on the gifts. They each get about three gifts and a stocking. Everyone is nearly grown now, ages 17, 18 and 20. DH and I haven't exchanged Christmas gifts in over 20 years. We simply go out and spend time together during the season. We'll have a really nice dinner somewhere, or go to a show, something like that.
I've tried very hard to stay away from the materialism at Christmas. It's just not what it's about.
Iraq gifts sm
Again, cannot emphasize enough the importance of these guys and gals giving their lives so we can live free. Just imagine some terrorist knocking at your door! Gosh, these guys are OUR guys who are offering their lives for us, and will not ask for a thing. The operative word here is NOTHING, is which they ask for. Let's send them lots of SOMETHING! My opeative word is FIRST which is them. Let's get some dialogue going. No negative postings please! Let's just emphasize our GUYS AND GALS who will not be home for CHRISTmas!!!!!!!! I'm ready to give, are you?? Only legit please, we have a brain!
Guy/Girl gifts
We have this every year with one side of family. Last year I bought the girl gift that everyone was wanting!! JCPenney was having a sale of the hair care products and I bought Biolage brand of shampoo, conditioner, hairspray, etc.... it was buy 2 get 1 free. So they got 6 things for less than $40. Guys we have done golf course passes, movie tickets, sports stuff and restaurant gift cards.
Opening gifts
I don't have kids, but when the nieces and nephews on one side open gifts, it is this chaotic scramble, everybody opening at once. That's not how we did it when I was a kid, or on my side of the family today, and I really feel it cheapens it. I don't get to see these kids often, and it would be so enjoyable to have each one open a gift with the rest of us looking on, to see the reaction, talk about the gift, hear the thank-you at the time the gift is received so they comprehend who gave them what. Otherwise, what's the point? Might as well just bring in a dump truck and dump a bunch of stuff on them. I want interaction, not noise.
Is that so wrong?
Silly gifts....
My hubby tries! He got me 2 pair of socks and a pair of slippers! He did not read the package the socks came in....They were for foot odor! Haha I won't let him live this one down for a while! He made up for that with an iPod docking station though! As far as food, I am sooooo stuffed I cannot eat another thing. I am still playing with my kids' toys. The toys out now are so much better than the ones we had growing up! 
funny gifts are the best
We used to do an adult exchange gift for no more than $5 and we had more fun with that than anything else, it was amazing what we could come up with for 5 dollars. Some cheapskate refused to participate because they thought it was a waste of money, so we stopped. I still have most of the gifts and won't regift or throw them out, they make me laugh when I need one. One of my faves is the 20 foot yacht, a small plastic boat with 20 little plastic shoes.The last one I got was an ornament of the leg-shaped lamp from Christmas Story.
Already got my husband's gifts
I got him a nice new pair of shoes since he is on his feet all day at work as a nurse (some new Nike Shox), as well as a couple of Wii games that he has been wanting. We will also probably go out to dinner since he is off for Valentine's day.
Appreciation for gifts
Do you have your children (let's say over the age of 8) write thank you notes or call to say thank you when they receive a gift? I have always tried to make sure my child knows the importance of the small gesture of saying thanks when receiving a gift. Of course I have never made the child write a stack of 20 after a birthday party but when receiving a St. Patrick's day card with money from his Aunt or grandma....an extra special gift because he did well in sports or school...things of that nature I have made a point for him to say "thank you" in some way to that person. I am a little hurt that my sister has not once had her children call to say thank you or send me a post card, a picture/drawing, nothing. I know that I am very old fashioned and martha stewart-ish so just wondering if I'm a little loopy on this topic or if others do this too.
Baking gifts
Do any of you give baked goods during the holidays? What are some of your favorites? I get tired of making the same ole bread, cookies, and chocolate covered pretzels every year.
I will say that last year I put peanut butter between 2 Ritz crackers and then covered them in baking chocolate (white and semi-sweet) and they turned out really well. I put sprinkles on the white ones (they showed up better than on the semi-sweet ones).
tricky gifts
Whatever your specialty is in a nice bag or basket.
Coffee mix recipes with chocolate and cinnamon are good. I made chocolate dipped plastic spoons and those came out good too because you can use really nice chocolate.
There are a lot of ideas out there!
Christmas Gifts
We have two daughters 5 and 14. It's harder with the 14 year old because now she wants all the high end gifts. We usually spend about $300 per child and we're probably going to do about the same this year. Luckily they're about the only people we buy for any more. If we had a lot of family members to buy for it would probably be a lot less. Now that the nieces and nephews are older and some married, we don't get them gifts and the few relatives we do buy for we usually don't spend a whole lot. My husband and I already got our Christmas gift for each other, a big flat screen TV so we're basically done with ourselves too.
we don't exchange gifts either
We stopped exchanging gifts about 30 years ago. When my husband and I first approached the subject, we met with some resistance, but we stood our ground and said we would not be buying gifts. My husband is the oldest in a family of 7. By the time they all married and had children, the number could have been quite staggering to buy for. I was a surprise baby, my sisters being greater than 11 years older than I am, so when they began their families I was too young to buy anything to buy for them and so never started doing so. Now both of our families agree the holidays are much more enjoyable without the stress of the gift buying, worrying about what to get, how much, will the like it, can I afford it, etc., etc. The true gift of Christmas is the love we feel for our families and all we ask is time with them, and everyone agrees on this. We usually bake or take small treats to the families are who have misfortune of spending Christmas at the Ronald McDonald House in our city due to the illness of a child. Often the other kids in the family (the healthy ones) get lost in the shuffle of caring for a child with cancer. There is no gift one can give as great as giving and bringing joy to a family in such a situation. Anyway, my point is that there may be others in the family who will feel the same way, that it is just too stressful, and you may find that they will appreciate the holidays much more if the gift stress is taken out of the equation.
I should add here, I do buy something for my own children but usually one or two things and my grandchildren because, after all, Santa still comes (!) and I do think Christmas gift giving is for children. Watching my little ones open is a gift a truly a fun thing to do and makes me happy. I do ask my kids not to buy for me or my husband because they have young families and can't afford the extra money. I have always told them I would rather they spend time with me any day then go out and buy a gift.
I have 2 gifts that fit this bill.
Back in the 80s my mother made 2 quilts, one side silky and the other side imitation fur. You talk about warm! Have used those since. The best gift ever was not Christmas but my husband (actually called first to make sure ok) and then bought me home my 2 tuxedo cats- they were really small when he first got them but they have grown into big lovable guys. One a Christmas and the other just a gift. I am blessed.
I have 2 gifts that fit this bill.
Back in the 80s my mother made 2 quilts, one side silky and the other side imitation fur. You talk about warm! Have used those since. The best gift ever was not Christmas but my husband (actually called first to make sure ok) and then bought me home my 2 tuxedo cats- they were really small when he first got them but they have grown into big lovable guys. One a Christmas and the other just a gift. I am blessed.
senior gifts
Not sure why, but a senior once told me they love getting writing paper and postage stamps.
Puppy gifts
Training pads - and plenty of them!
Gifts and celebrations
Mine is 24 and still lives at home while at college...I stopped inviting the whole family last year but my inlaws and sisters still celebrate with us and any member of our family is welcome. My bil's significant other asked me a couple years ago when we stopped giving Christmas and Bday gifts, 18 was good wasn't it and I told her that I would give gifts as long as I wanted to do but she was free to do what she wanted, last year she asked my sil the same thing and got the same response.
Gifts from the kids on Mother's day??? (sm)
This is one that I never understood. Do you have very little children?? I raised my kids by myself and they never had a dad around to make sure they got gifts for me. They made things in school when they were little. Then as they got a little older (like even just 6 or 7) they would say they didn't make anything in school that year, and I would tell them, well then it would be nice if you make breakfast or supper for me! They always did it themselves, and I ate whatever they made. I just never understood buying something for your kids to give your wife. It's the kids' mother, not the husband's.
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