Yes - he checked himself in rehab for sex addiction
Posted By: nm on 2008-09-01
In Reply to: Are you talking about - Christina RTMT
nm
Complete Discussion Below:  marks the location of current message within thread
The messages you are viewing
are archived/old.
To view latest messages and participate in discussions, select
the boards given in left menu
Other related messages found in our database
My husband is an alcoholic currently in rehab for his addiction.
Our marriage has suffered terribly because of his addiction. Actually, I should say my love for him has suffered terribly because of his alcoholism. He is totally dependent on me and I have come to feel more like his mother than his wife. I make the money, pay the bills, take care of our children, basically run the house. He's either always looking for a job or working as a self-employed used engine and transmission salesman/mechanic barely making any money at all.
Recently, I told him I didn't love him anymore and that I was tired of taking care of him. So he entered rehab as a way to win me back and prove his love for me. He calls me at least 20 times a day from rehab. If I don't answer, he will call repeatedly every two minutes or so until someone answers or he has to go back to group or class or whatever.
He will get out of rehab at the end of this month and fully expects to come back home and provie that he is changing. My problem is this, I don't want him to come home. I have enjoyed the peace I've had with him gone (save for the constant phone calls). However, I fear that if I am honest with him and tell him over the phone that I don't want him back, this will affect his sobriety and basically he will see no reason to finish rehab and remain sober. He tells me repeatedly that he is doing this for me. I've told him he should be doing it for himself or at the very least, his kids and he will just agree with me and change the subject.
He's not a bad person. He just has his problems and I'm tired of feeling like I have this anchor around my neck all of the time. While he's been gone I've enjoyed spending time with my kids. I've gotten together with my girlfriends for dinner and movies and just had girls' night out. I've spent time visiting my mom and sister and helping my niece plan her upcoming wedding. Without my husband around, I've just feel free to have fun and do stuff for me.
How can I tell him that I want a divorce without feeling responsible for affecting his rehabilitation? How would you handle it?
So is it sex addiction, or porn addiction? (sm)
Seems like there is a difference. How would one become a therapist for the stars with sex addiction? LOL.
I know they have nursing/rehab homes that do this - sm
My mom was to go to one to get her strength back, do rehab, etc. when she was sick 2 years go--unfortunately she died before that could happen though. My dad though had requested I go up every weekend to help him out once my mom was home (4 hours away), which I would have done. In your case I think it is pretty nervy of her family to ask you to take on this huge responsibility. They should either arrange for her to go to a good nursing/rehab home to get the care she needs, or if they want her to stay with you (why can't she stay with any of them?) and hire a 24-hour nursing service to take care of her, then fine. I suspect they do not want to pay for anything (they see you as free labor), and as she has no insurance she cannot foot the bill herself. I'd lay out for them what your day is like (full schedule) and how it would be impossible for you to do your job (and keep it) and take care of your MIL at the same time. You can always see if you can go PT and tell them they have to pay you for the difference you would be losing in pay in order to take care of her properly (if you decide to do it); or you take a leave for 3 months and they pay you your full salary, see what the cheap skates say then. Good luck.
with lots of hard work/rehab they can get it back...
My father had a stroke and got everything back but for only 8 months and then had another one which took him out but he lived for another 10 years.
A friend at age 52 had a stroke and she is fine today, not 100% but 90% and works and drives.....
A person's father where I live had a stroke the other day and didn't go to the hospital and I saw him twice since then and he is up and walking around and is 62.
When a stroke occurs, many strokes may follow...and it's ost important to get to the ER ASAP without fail.....the sooner, the better...and in getting function back.....
Hope he gets better real soon......
Bon Jovi anyday - Sambora has a rehab problem
x
yeah. she checked in and checked out the same day--sm
said it was not for her.
Addiction
Ex sister-in-law was addicted to cocaine, and she did incredibly stupid/dangerous things all the time. I am not surprised LL did not get a driver, judgment is totally impaired when you are addicted to coke. That is why she is my EX-sister-in-law
Electronics addiction
It is real, and my DH has a bad case.
I've been married 20 years. For the first 10 years, with each purchase I always thought he finally had everything and he'd stop trading up. No - it never ends. He does take some things back (and yet always forgets to safe-keep the receipt). He tries to tell me my cheap OTC makeup and $20-clothes are the same thing, but electronics are so expensive and unnecessary to me that it does get annoying that he has such an expensive hobby. It's as if THAT's the reason I'm working - to support his addiction. Sigh.
It's never the end.
HBO series on addiction sm
HBO had an excellent series on addiction.It may be available on the Net someplace. They have what is called the *go* factor in the brain, etc. which stimulates the need for alcohol or drugs. I have attended many different lectures on this and it is very confusing. All I know is that it happens in the very best of families, drugs, alcohol, any feel good addiction can happen to anyone. I have a hard time dealing with it myself since some of my nearest and dearest have problems. All one can do is take good care of themselves and lead by example. This time of year seems to bring it all out - I used to dread Christmas and the loose lips that sink ships, one too many drinkers can ruin a holiday! It's funny in the movies but not in real life, it is a disaster. No one needs to apologize, glad the subject came up, it's a good *remember when* for me. I stopped buying booze several years ago and it is surprising how my guest list has shortened, thank goodness! I feel my life has improved for the better since alcohol is not on my holiday menu. You have to start someplace, why now with your own home sweet home? No more booze served here. A lot of us have walked that walk, it's a tough one.
computer addiction
see below.
cig smoking is EXACTLY like heroin addiction.....
filters cut off for more strength....to answer your question.
I wish someone had stopped me - folks gave permission at a young age....because they were smokers.....I have never quit except in pregnancy....but I quit buying over 3-1/2 months ago, still smoke but ask others for one....and I cut back smoking by 75 percent and THAT's something because I no longer even cough the way I used to, my house smells GREAT (smoking outside only).....and I sound better (because I really am better - health-wise).
It is MOST definitely a drug addiction, as bad as any of them, as addicting as any of them........so the post was right on about *hearing it is as strong as a heroin addiction* - I tell kids today, that's exactly what it is...........................because it is.
My only suggestion is to show her pictures (found online even, just Google the subject/topic/question) of what lungs look like in smokers versus nonsmokre, and then find some head and neck surgical oncology site and start showing her pictures there (I worked in a surgical oncology HEAD AND NECK dept for a few years and what I saw was definitely sickening and yet, I too, still smoke *slaps self*)
My children (due to the fact I used above tactics) - NEVER smoked (thank goodness!!!!).
Best of luck to her and you!!!
to irritated/porn addiction?
Wow, you sure are trusting after seeing such a big change in behavior. I hope you don't get what I got: the greatest guy I could've wanted (good, prominent family, $, respect, the works). I won't fill in all the frills I got, but they were plenty, and I thought I was set. for life. And yes, he did love me dearly.
The thing I came to learn was that he had a porn addiction. It's something I've never experienced, and really hadn't typed about, either. I'm no fool, and had been with plenty of men before him, as we got married later than most, but this was a first for me. In the end it ruined our marriage. My point is that when you see strange things happen, don't poo-poo it. Only you know if something is amiss, and I believe you do. I hope I'm wrong, and I certainly hope you don't have to face what I did. It sickens me to think about the details of all that chapter, but now that we're no longer "one," I know that I can't fix him, and as long as he doesn't acknowledge his problem, he won't, either. Ironically, even now I'd be as supportive as possible if he were to shed the demons that are eroding him to his core, but he'll be the first to tell the world that there's nothing wrong with him.
Just something to think about. I hope you don't end up the way I did. I'm just glad I don't have all that anxiety anymore, and we're actually friends (or something like that).
Good luck.
I was simply stating what my sweet addiction is and what
my not sweet addiction is. 
I agree-cigs worse addiction than pot, like heroin!
.
Ancestry.Com Needs a Surgeon General's Addiction Warning Box
Is to get one of those Ancestry charts online where you put in each person in a family tree. You can then click on 2 people's names and see exactly how they're related to each other.
Go get yourself checked out!
I'm only 34 and I had the darned same symptoms...everything hurt--fingers, arms, hands, jaw, neck, back, butt, even my hair, I swear! I have a very high pain threshold too, but the constant aching and inability to get out of bed without feeling like I was just run over by a steam roller was just too much to take. I think I let it go for about 2 years before calling for an appointment, thinking I could just work around the pain.
The thing that finally sent me to the doc's was that even exercising and walking didn't help with the pain, and it got to a point where it hurt too much to even do that.
Turns out I could have some form of connective tissue disorder, kinda like lupus but not. My nurse gave me a prescription for simple naproxen and wow, what a difference. I took it twice daily for the first week and I only need to take it every now and again. I've totally kicked myself in the butt for not doing something about it sooner, but well, you know how that goes.
So, go get yourself checked out for pity's sake 
you could also get her checked --sm
for feline diabetes, as not using the litter box is also a sign of this, along with recurrent uti's and eventually kidney failure. My vet says that feline diabetes has increased significantly over the past few years.
He obviously needs to get this checked out - sm
by the doctor, it may be time that he does need the help of some medication. Get him to his doctor pronto before it gets any worse.
Have you ever checked out
different lipstick brands and get disgusted when it takes 7 turns to get the lipstick out where you can use it? That's what I've noticed about some of the more expensive brands. If they turned quicker like Revlon I might have bought them. :o} (I don't remember if Estee Lauder is one of those).
Not sure if I'm lazy or just a stickler for efficiency. Ha!
Eww, I would have that checked
by a doctor to be on the safe side. Especially considering the bumps you said you can see on his eyeball.. that can't be good.
I checked this out and I think it looks
fascinating. My daughter was a bit grossed out. My son hasn't seen the video yet but he wants to go into medicine and I know when he see the video he will love it. My daughter and I are going to see Legally Blond the musical while hubby and son are going to see Blue Man Group (all 4 of us will see The Lion King). Maybe just a little mother/son bonding time at Bodies will be just the thing.
Get it checked.
My husband broke his at 18. When he was 30, he had to get angioplasty because he had 2 stenoses of subclavian. They are not sure if it was related to this injury or not. Still has weak/to absent pulse at left wrist.
Just checked it out !! So much fun...nm
x
Of course, this is after you have her checked out by your vet - nm
:-)
I would get it checked out.
Even without more symptoms I would urge him to get in to his regular doctor to get looked at. I have heard of people being nauseated, sweaty, short of breath with the pain of a heart attack but I also think it can be an individual thing and different with everyone.
I don't know but I would have him get it checked nm
x
You'd better get checked out.
I guess I've transcribed way too many neurology reports, but if I were you I'd get it checked out with possible an MRI of the brain. Seriously, it's better to be safe than sorry.
Get it checked
To help you not worry. I had a lump once in the groin and it was because of a urinary tract infection. Although it sounds like yours is related to the bug bite. Better safe than sorry, I would just have the doc look at it.
Have you checked into how big she will get and
how long she will live? That seems like potentially quite an investment! lol
Checked them out, could not find
the higher price which I had to use, only the lower priced gas and then not at the Atlanta station I use which is south out of the city proper.
Just checked again and the post she
made on this very tired subjectg was, indeed today. She just responded to a comment made by my friend two days ago. I was sure of what I was saying, or I would have never said anymore about it.
I would get it checked since it is suddenly different and sm)
in just one eye. I have them too but I would get it checked if it was like yours. Just to be safe. Sorry for any typos - no contacts in yet this morning
Checked on divorcenet.com
Thanks to all who replied. I stumbled on above website and it said no coverage for ex-spouses. I really think this is some type of delaying tactic on his part--"have to wait for open season, etc," or get her to agree to take less child support even. He changed jobs and had to submit the withholding order. After 2 months, my daughter called and found out they did not have the paperwork for withholding. She immediately sent the order. He declared he had taken care of that. He knew the child support was not coming out and he's still responsible for it. Just don't trust him at all--
Good point about being independent. Just so hard to do it all on her own. Also had not thought about his having access to her health info. Thanks again.
Get your thyroid checked.
x
Have you had thyroid checked?
It could be from a variety of things, but you might want to have your thyroid hormone levels checked.
Check out this website before you do, because many doctors aren't up on it they way they should be:
http://thyroid.about.com/
I might go get it checked, just in case (sm)
With all the pool infections and such going around...has he been swimming in a public pool lately?
Have you checked your thyroid?
Also read up on it, as the numbers many doctors use as the normal range really isn't accurate.
Tonya, perhaps you should be checked sm
Tell the doc or get a diabetes test from the drug store. My MIL did this and had a sugar problem which was solved with diet. I hope not, but save yourself some worry; caught early, most problems can be solved with diet alone.
Get checked out ASAP
It might not be serious but no sense in taking any chances. Definitely don't think it would have anything to do with vision or viewing monitor for any length of time ... more of a neuromuscular thing.
Let us know how you come out. We are thinking of you!
Have you had your thyroid checked?
I have hypothyroidism and before it was diagnosed was absolutely freezing, sounds like what you describe, could not get warm. That would be where I would start because being cold all the time is 1 of the symptoms. In the meantime, do as I did. Got a heated throw and that can be used around your shoulders, over the legs, throw on the bed to heat your covers, so glad I invested in one.
I would have her checked by an endocrinologist
to evaluate precocious puberty. I've also read that hormones from meat & dairy can prompt this, but there are cases where there is something structural going on, & I would want to have this ruled out.
If you hit your head, get it checked out
I think chances are good we'll find that Billy had a hemorrhage, much like Natasha Richardson. I just lost an older cousin to this very same syndrome last weekend. He fell and hit his head, but refused to go the doctor and died two days later.
Head injuries are nothing to mess around with, even if they seem benign at first.
Thanks for the info. I checked out the site, however,
I don't see the price listed. Care to share? The one that requires a script, Lidoderm, is in the $200 range.
Thanks! :) I checked out Foot Locker SM
and saw some really good deals on shoes. Also, Macy's is having a 1-day sale tomorrow, and I saw a Nike Hoodie for 19.99! I've been carusing all the websites today! (Abercrombie and Fitch, Old Navy, Macy's, Kohl's, Foot Locker, American Eagle, and E-Bay.) Eeeek!! I'm not getting much work done today. Oh well! Hehehehe. I'm going to have so much fun with this.
Again, thank you to all of you...you've been such a big help.
Big hugs,
Chickadee 
I don't blame you. Have you checked zillow.com
or had an appraisal lately? Not that it matters - but would be something to shove at them if they get pushy - unless of course it comes in lower than you want. If you don't NEED to sell - hang on to it if at all possible. We sold our land 5 years ago and wish we would have held onto it - it almost never depreciates!! Best of luck to ya
I've checked and continued to do so.
But I don't delete emails. I discovered that one of the boys was spending a lot of time viewing porn on line. I checked his email and discovered that he and his friends were exchanging a lot of porn and were betting on sports. After all sorts of blocks and monitoring were installed on the computer, I kept track of his emails, hunted down his Myspace and Facebook accounts and kept on top of everything he did. I found that his straight A's were being maintained through cheating and plagiarism, and I reported him and his friends to teachers and showed the evidence. He took a big hit in his grades.
I had no reason to believe he was doing any of this before I checked. I checked as a matter of routine and nearly fell out of my seat when I made this discovery.
I check EVERYTHING my kids are doing, and I try to keep a low profile about it. As far as I'm concerned, they are minors, I'm responsible for them, and they have no right to privacy until they move out of my house. That being said, I don't let them know that's my philosophy! That would blow my cover.
Just checked out this site, it looks great! nm
!
Have your blood sugar checked! I'd nod off (sm)
to the point that my nose would actually touch the keyboard!! While funny, it was also a symptom. I had undiagnosed diabetes and would just "poop" out when my blood sugar was too low (or even too high!). According to my doctor there's more undiagnosed diabetes out there than you'd believe!
Please have it checked for leaks. May even be free, but even if not, I'd do it.
nm
checked the schedule, even filled out the
other info from my tax return.
I checked that site out a couple
months ago. They didn't have any stores on the list for my area. Our stores won't even take computer-generated coupons for some reason.
|
