Yes, he's my oldest. So this is all new to me. Unfortunately, he doesn't have a very good
Posted By: MissouriMT on 2006-10-11
In Reply to: your 14 yo son - ER-MT
relationship with his father. There's a lack of respect there because his father never has held a job or took care of us. So, it's almost as if my son views is father as being on the same level as him - one the kids that mom has to take care of. So my son has always felt he could talk however he wanted to his dad and his father on the flip side has always acted like big kid with my son. I don't think having my son talk to his father would help very much.
I've met the kids my son has become friends with and I've met their parents. The parents all seem to have the same values as I do and the kids are pretty typical boys - no drugs or alcohol. They play football in our backyard after school.
I really do hope it's just a phase, but even if it is just a phase, I'm not sure I'll survive!
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It doesn't look good!
I sure wish our government could see how many factors they are responsible for, such as giving our jobs away.
it doesn't do any good...?
except for maybe her seeing how she's acting! You say she cares about people... well then she should definitely care about her own father. Confronting on her behavior is your way of sticking up for him. You dont need to do it in a nasty or insulting way, you could ask her softly, do you know how you sound? or do you know how you are acting? Just something that MAYBE she will think about. If not then she is not as caring as you are hoping she is. Of course it's always easy to say those things when you're not the one involved. If it was either of my sisters acting this way, id point it out IMMEDIATELY, but that's just the way we are. I guess it depends on the kind of relationship you guys have, but she has no right to be acting as she does. She doesn't have to feel exactly as you do, but you know. You dont have to be sorry, I just was trying to get down to the bottom of it. i do the same thing out of frustration! :) good luck
Nawwww CA doesn't look good but
you could come to St. George Utah where I live and where it is in the 50's during the day and only down to the 30's at night during the coldest months! I'm originally from Central Wisconsin and I've seen 70 below with the wind chill factor! Very cold by those great lakes! I'm loving St. George, awesome in the Winter! Only 110 to 118 in the summer and that only lasts a couple months! C'mon out I'll show ya around!!!
You're worried about the mother? Doesn't sound like she did a very good job herself! nm
x
From what the police have uncovered so far, it doesn't seem to be heading to a good outcome
I agree it's very fishy that the grandmother didn't ever have the opportunity to drop off or pick up the little girl from the babysitter. Considering she and the mom lived with the grandparents, you'd think she'd have had one opportunity in these years to have met the babysitter. Well, it's all fishy. Seems to not be heading to a good outcome. Don't know what the mom is trying to prove by not saying anything and the grandma... she's a real piece of work.
ROFLMAO!! But hey, with that humor, she probably doesn't stay mad long! Good for her keeping you.
dodging the bullets! Keeps it interesting! And keeps you honest! ![Cowgirl](http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/15/15_4_124.gif")
![](http://www.smileycentral.com/sig.jsp?pc=ZSzeb113&pp=ZNxdm824RSUS")
Actually, I have 3, and the oldest is
16 years old. It is a constant battle to help him realize that the world does not revolve around him, but I will continue to fight the battle, because he is worth it. It is MY job to teach him to not be selfish. Some kids are by nature more selfish, but basically ALL kids are selfish, and you have to steer them down a different road. You know what? I tell my son no a lot, and I don't fork over money right and left. He's temporarily miffed, but it has never caused him to mistreat me. He is constantly stopping me to hug me and tell me he loves me. Just out of the blue. I am important in his life.
I'm sorry if I sound harsh, and I wish you could have the same kind of love between you and your kids. Bottom line -- it doesn't sound like you have bonded with them and that YOU love THEM no matter what. They would sense that, and reciprocate. I understand being sick of bad behavior, but I don't think I could ever say, as a mom, now it's time for "me, me, me." It's never too late to repair these relationships. I think you should rethink things.
I was serious in my asking if they had a dad in their lives. Dads generally draw the line whereas moms are pushovers. That's not always the case, but two heads are better than one. It is so important to have someone back you up, or take over when you are just plain tired.
My oldest daughter (31 now) came home from...
kindergarten around Christmas time and said, "I'm gonna sing my favorite song we learned today", and proceeded to sing Fleas on the Dog (of course it was Feliz Navidad). Still makes me chuckle today.
My oldest daughter knew when she was 10
Kids talk at school and on the bus, and I'm sure that's how she found out about Santa and the Easter Bunny, etc. Of course now she's 14 and tells me how could someone believe in a huge bunny who comes to your house and leaves candy. LOL. I also have a 5 year old and the older one knows under no circumstances is she to tell her sister anything. She can find out on her own. I think you should just let him know that he shouldn't tell the younger ones just like you were planning.
My oldest daughter had nothing but "boy"
friends throughout high school. Really, guys are a lot nicer than boys most of hte time. She has a couple of good girl friends, but I actually liked the guys hanging around the house. Now that she is in college, all she brings home are her guy friends and they all hang out with her and her boyfriend.
I really would not worry if her friends are guys, at least she has friends she feels comfortable with having hang out at your house.
My oldest son gave me the idea about s/m
the generator. We rent a log splitter every fall and never even thought about it! How smart they can be.
We live on the county line, so we are always the last ones to get shoveled out as far as the roads go, but we seem to lose our electricity quite a bit, 3-4 times a year minimum.
Oh, I am right behind you! My oldest, my baby girl.......sm
just turned 20, she still lives at home and commutes to save money, but she is in college for teaching, I just cannot believe she is out of diapers, let alone out of high school and out of her teen years!! My son, Adam, is graduating this year, turning 18, and while he also will be going to a local college and commuting, and we are very close, along with his girlfriend, he is on his way, too!
That leaves Alex, who is 11, and although he is still a boy, I am already starting to project, because often he stays over a friend's for a sleepover, my son is out with his girl, and my daughter is out with friends or working, back to hubby and me........don't know where time went, but I have such a hard time getting out those baby pictures, seems like yesterday and I remember and want the time back. Doesn't work that way! And yes, all four of us (myself and my siblings) have been extremely close lifelong with my parents, just keep the love and communication open, have lots of get-togethers of you can. I am trying to look forward to being a grandma (although NOT TOO SOON!!). Much love to ya!
Yes, especially me (oldest) and my middle sister. (sm)
Main difference is she's taller. One time she was visiting me and we went out for lunch. A lady came up to us and asked, 'Are you identical twins or fraternal twins?' She sure was surprised to learn that we weren't twins at all, just regular, run-of-the-mill sisters!
Hey, have at it. If you want a lazy, apathetic, not affectionate, doesn't listen, doesn't make
can reach him!!! Let me know if you're interested.
I am not quite there yet as my oldest is only 11 but our school has a rule that you have to be passi
x
Of course! Stealing? That's the oldest trick in the book. lol
I guess she figured what does she have to lose if she thought she was dying. :(
My oldest furgirl is dying and I am crying
I have just called the veterinarian's office to see if there was anything they could give me to ease her pain, should she be in any which I do not think is the case. I have had her since she was born at my home so it is almost unbearable today. The vet had told me about a week or so ago that her organs were probably failing due to some lab tests she had. I gave her some water with a syringe and even tried feeding her some this morning as I do not want her to be hungry nor thirsty. She is laying on a blanket and I have a cover on her. Besides my having her put down which is really hurting my heart- she has been with me all these years- is there anything I can give her so she is not having a painful death and I just don’t know about it. Thanks everyone.
Whadda ya mean? Its the world's oldest profession
x
I love my boys! One time when my oldest
(fixing to turn 18 and will adamently deny this) was 4 years old, we were up at my parent's house. He was playing wheel of fortune on the computer. He came in and told me he was having trouble figuring out the puzzle. I told him he needed to buy a vowel. After a second, I asked him did he know what a vowel was. He grinned big and said "yes, it's this" and he proceeded to 'bow'!
They do multiply don't they?! Brought back memories when my oldest brother
bought 2 white mice at the pet shop and the guy told him they were both males...about 2-3 weeks later we had a full liter of white mice. Mom made him take the whole cage with mice back to the pet shop (I wonder why? LOL).
It doesn't make me mad but it doesn't sound intelligent either (sm)
I am sure if all of those people who were aborted were living, some would be good and some would be bad, in the same proportion as there is good to bad now. Your statement makes no sense. So somehow the babies who were aborted were meant to be aborted because they were bad seeds? Whatever. Sorry, that's just silly.
It doesn't always work that way though - some give but it doesn't come back like that nm
x
my youngest daughter puts her in the lunchbox just to keep her drink cold, but my oldest never does
sick yet. If their school is like my daughters' schools they eat about 3 hours after school starts so I would not think there would be a problem.
Anyone have any good holiday dessert recipes? Looking for something good to take to a party. nm
x
What a good role model you are for good holiday spirit...wow nm
That actually doesn't look that bad!
I love pork especially at a pig roast...by the end of the day the meat just falls off the bones it is so tender. Doesn't look too terrifying!
Doesn't take much to get you going does it? nm
x
If a dog doesn't have anything
to do, he will occupy himself. His thing is barking, which isn't fair to the neighbors. I had a neighbor who'd let his laborador bark for hours on end while I was trying to work. Almost drove me insane. To catch a break I'd occasionally take a rawhide, stuff all the cracks with peanut butter, and throw it over the fence. Ah, blessed peace for a while.
Cesar Millan has a website. I'm sure you can get lots of ideas there. It's all about exercise, discipline and then affection. You have to communicate your leadership and also use up his energy and teach him what it is you expect of him.
Why doesn't she get her own
It sounds to me like she wants you to pay her bills. She'll have to find a job and get a roommate like any one of us would. Why should you compromise what you have with your boyfriend when she'll be coming age very soon and can be out on her own? Let her know she's welcome to visit or whatever, but you'd rather see her pursue her own living quarters. 
That is my mom, she just doesn't get
it. She also thinks it is because of my husband. Nobody is good enough for me. Doesn't matter who it is. She has been telling everyone it is because she will not lend us money. My husband and I both work our butts off and have never borrowed money from anyone but the bank.
My brother and I have not been the closest and about two weeks ago, I called him. I now believe that a lot of reason why we are not close is due to my mother. He is four years younger and I was out of the house by the time he was 13. I always got my mother's point of view of what was going on with him and I should have known better. She told me he doesn't talk to her because she won't lend him money. He and I thought we didn't have a lot in common, so most of the communication was between him and my mom, then mom would "tell" me. He doesn't want her to see his son either, but being that he is divorced, his ex-wife allows her to see him. He said that she was always intervening in his life, no matter what it was. She kicked him out of her home when he was 15 and he has never looked back. He now has his PhD as a recent graduate and is very successful. We both believe it is a control issue with her.
That leads to this, I have researched grandparents rights as well. In Michigan, as long as the parents are married and fit parents, grandparents have no rights. If you were never married, separated or divorced or worse yet, proved to be unfit, then they have rights to see the children. Something to think about.
He doesn't like going out...
im at a loss because I am a social butterfly and I want the man that I love with me all the time. Don't get me wrong i LOVE my girls nights out, but I want him there sometimes. I think this is one of the main issues holding me back from getting married. I do respect that he doesn't like to dance, or go to bars... but he doesn't even like to go to my friend's houses... He is a little on the shy side and I have been with him 6 years (and we have known each other since we were in 7th grade - about 15 years-, lived down the street from each other...) And I can't see myself without him but I know this is keeping me from marrying him because I want that socialization. Even when we have a family I almost am positive I am going to want to have friends over with their kids... bbq's in the summer... stuff like that and he just isn't like me at all in that way. How do I deal with this? Oh yea even if he is willing to compromise I feel like he hates it though and that is still really hard for me to deal with. If he is just sitting there not having fun that's almost worse than him not coming at all... :( we are at a crossroads right now and that is why i am asking. we either stay together or dont...
I think the same way - if the OP doesn't
like the smoke, then she'd best look elsewhere. It's not fair to say "smoke outside" when they are paying the rent, too. Some people just amaze me!
mine doesn't...
I make Paula Deen's southern cornbread dressing...go to Food Network's site and look up the recipe. It's yummy, has no meat whatsoever, and makes a ton of dressing...HAPPY HOLIDAYS...
My mother's doesn't either...
Made with Pepperidge farm stuffing mix, white wine, mushrooms, celery, onions, chopped walnuts, seasoning. Not sure what else but it's different and delicious, still the best I've ever had!
Doesn't sound right
under those circumstances. Then whenever someone wanted new wall-to-wall they could just crap it up themselves and submit a claim and get a new rug.
At any rate, even if this is somehow true, the insurance company will only jack up your rate or drop you all together, so you're going to pay either way. And then you'll have a claim history and no other company will want you either.
I agree, it's more than just pot. Pot doesn't do that. sm
I have heard that taking Niacin helps clear out of your system faster as well as trying to "sweat" it out like he is. He also needs plenty of sunshine and you to be there for him. Rather than turning against him, stuck together with him and help him through it. It will make your relationship so much better in the long run and he needs the love and support of you to help him get to that place. Admire him for trying to break his addiction. It is very addicting. His rollercoaster of sweating, can't sleep, and emotional issues sound more related to crack/crank or methampetamines to me. I'd tell him in order for you to be supportive and helpful to him right now, he needs to at least be honest with you.
I can't tell the difference when something has MSG and when it doesn't. nm
x
I am not saying my hubby doesn't look
he just doesn't let me see him looking. Hey, I still look too.
He doesn't like the masks...
my DD has taken over the mask and my kids like to sleep with fans now too. I just turn them off before I go to bed.
She doesn't impress me though
Just something about her... She's like never smiling. Even when he gave her a rose last night, she just looks mad. Could just be the editing.. maybe there's something about her he does like. I think he might like Tessa... and Amber. I can't believe I let myself get into this show again.
With our experience, he doesn't need
We have bought several homes and I have been an IC MT the entire time. I have never had this ask of me. They just want to know what my income has been, as they know being self-employed can mean different amounts from paycheck to paycheck. Of course, if your husband is empoyed somewhere, they will put more thought into that
(they just don't say it). I had loan officers just start talking to my husband as if I'm not in the room just because they hear self-employed and know my husband is not....so they think he'll be the REAL one bringing in a paycheck. So, my husband brings them back in the game, as do I. We let them know both of our checks contribute to this mortgage, not just his. I've noticed the women loan officers are the worst with this, even though you would think they wouldn't be. We both have excellent credit scores and make sure this is the valid point we get across. Just make sure you are not overlooked as being an essential element in this deal. Generally, all the loan officer can go by is what you have made in the past few years, not what you may make in the future as an IC, because as an IC, you may not know what that paycheck will bring or if you'll even be with the same company 6 months from now. But again, I have never had this asked of me.
It all has to start somewhere doesn't it?
xx
But that doesn't apply to every
situation. In my case I got hit with something that was out of my control. I see where you are coming from because most times it is irresponsible spending and debt accruing that causes the problem but not always.
My mom doesn't like when mine rub against her, either
and she doesn't like that the neighbor cats in the development kill the birds at their feeders and also the baby rabbits. I don't especially like that aspect about them either (our 2 stay in the house 24/7) but it comes in handy in the house when we have a mouse. I know of people who go out of their way to hit a cat on the road and I think that is so disgusting. Makes me sad because of how much I love my cats.
What is funny though is that my male cat gravitates to my mother whenever she is here. He will just sit by her chair and stare at her with his big, golden, unblinking eyes. It really freaks her out!
He doesn't really look like he has aged all that much
in the last 10 years or so. I think he looks almost exactly the same as he did way back in his ER days!
Ugh, doesn't sound
too fun! Don't want to go to the hospital. That's why I figure it's past time to quit. My son is scared of me dying anyway. I told my husband no need in making his fear come true!
Why doesn't your son work? (sm)
I understand with all those children it may not even be worth it for the mom to work (child care would take all her earnings) but why doesn't your son work? Sounds like my sister. She has been living off of my parents for years.
It doesn't look sore, red or anything. Just
xx
How do you know he doesn’t like you/kids
You said he kept things under wrap. Your mother should not have to choose between you/your children and her husband. How old a person is he? Other things going on with him/them that you know of? Lot of people in older years PUT UP with children- that does not mean they want to be around them. I know you said you did not stay at the home with them. Do not ask your mother to choose, though. That is probably the reason she has not answered you. You as well as your siblings probably picked the ones you want and may not believe this but if left up to your mother and she had to choose, it might not be you and your family.
Thank goodness he doesn't eat
anything in front of the window, he just swoops, grabs and goes. He uses my front yard as sort of a "drive thru" I guess. He is a very pretty and majestic bird. I've tried to get pics of him, but my camera doesn't zoom far enough.
We also have Great Horned Owls that live in our pine trees out back. All through the summer I would hear them hooting. So I staked out the window one night so I could maybe get a peak at them and I actually saw one of them fly out of the tree, it was huge!
I just feel bad for my little feathered friends. I guess that's nature though.
Sorry for rambling, love to talk about my nature.
Doesn't bother me
For some women it takes more than soap and water. Not a biggie.
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