Yes, compliments and gifts are the better way, especially with teachers!..
Posted By: ***** on 2009-05-05
In Reply to: unfortunately I have - been there
Also, I think your child will not want that you pick a fight with his/her teacher.
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- Schools - Upset mom
- unfortunately I have - been there
- Yes, compliments and gifts are the better way, especially with teachers!.. - *****
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He just told her to stop acting surprised when she gets compliments.
It was kind of funny. So when he complimented her performance she smiled very nicely! I don't always agree with Simon, but I did agree with him on that. I don't think the acting surprised thing was an act for her, I think it's just her personality, but by now she should stop being surprised that the judges like her so much! I do too. I hope she wins!
Teachers........sm
I understand the feelings about some teachers and the views that they get a good deal for doing nothing. When my children were in school, they had good teachers and some just downright horrible teachers that should never be teaching children. I think it depends on where you live also. They grew up for the most part in Florida and the community we were in had great schools.
Because of my husband's job, we moved to an area where the schools were less than desireable, but my kids were in advanced placement classes, which meant they were getting a better deal. I did see how this local system was dumbing down kids because a lot of them just come from homes where parents just plain ole don't care. Many problems, and they TOO think it's all the teacher's fault if their kids aren't passing. Strange that they never feel it is their responsibility to see their child is passing, but then again, so many of them are used to getting freebies and everything given to them without working for it, it never phases them they are actually supposed to raise their own child and not the school system.
That being said, my daughter now teaches in that system and I have to say, she has made a difference that is amazing. The testing scores (which personally she hates all the standardized testing but is forced to do by your government) have gone up tremendously with her classes, the highest in the school. Yes, she DOES WORK MORE than 8 hours a day. She has to be there at 7 and can't leave until 4:30....last time I checked that was 9-1/2 hour days. She has to eat with her children, and any "break" she gets is spent tutoring children to catch up or doing endless paperwork for the No Child Left Behind garbage. Her children truly love her and it shows. She worries endlessly about them, knowing so many of them go home where the parents aren't there, they work nights shifts, the children are alone all night. They don't eat dinner..many of them have only one meal and that's the one at school. She takes food to school and sticks it in their backpacks to take home because their lazy parents could care less and many are not even there at night. Some go home on Friday and don't eat again until Monday at school.
Don't blame the teachers for low performance at school. Teachers cannot MAKE lousy parents into good caring parents, they can't make the parents stop bar hopping and slutty mothers stop bringing home a different man every night and the kids see this trash. Teachers can't make the parents see that the children do their homework. They're not allowed to tell the parents to grow up and raise their child and stop acting like children themselves. Some of the kids come back to the school after hours to sit with her in the classroom because they dread going home because no one is there and they are scared. No doubt, there are a few bad apples when it comes to teachers, but there are WORSE parents who are responsible for the lack of their child's performance in the school system.
No one could pay me enough to put up with the trash she has to put up with every day. And to boot, at this school she has a joke of a principal who DOES GET A BONUS, not the teachers. And where is this 4% raise every year. She isn't getting it. She does not get this glorious paycheck you refer to and during the summer, she is tutoring kids to keep them from failing their grades against all odds. She spends her own money and does without herself, to buy things for the children they should have but don't. I personally have bought shoes and things their parents should get off their butts and get their children. These mothers seem to be able to afford expensive hairdos and fingernails, but can't afford shoes for their kids? The fathers....well, who knows where in the h*** they're at.....producing more babies I'm sure. When parents grow up and realize their responsibility to their children, then maybe the school can get better. Teachers are not supposed to be their parents, but many feel they have to be.
of course, most teachers would give a different
story, just as most MTs will tell you that they don't make enough to survive or they are living near poverty, but that's not really true either. Most people would say the same thing about any profession they choose.
And I thought gym teachers were mean
when I was in school! Argh! I'd be furious too.
Teachers from Hogwarts?
A ghost and a ghost buster?
(I'm looking at a flier from a costume shop).
They have a $70 Davy Jones costume that's unbelievable.
They also have male and female Spartan cheerleader costumes. Does your hubby look anything like Will Ferrell? Those are each $30 though. They have a Dickk Cheney mask. If your DH has hunting clothes he'd be set. You could go as a gunshot victim.
(Mr. Cheney's first name is a dirty word on this board - how funny).
Remember teachers can
make all the difference in a child's ability to learn. If the teacher is not good at actually teaching (which many are not!), you might want to see if there is another teacher to choose from.
If the &*%& government would let teachers...
and heck, even students arm themselves, we wouldn't be sending lambs to the slaughter like that. They would've at least had a fighting chance. If I'm going to die, give me the chance to die while fighting to protect myself and others. Why should the criminals be the only ones who can arm themselves? This is a very heated topic 'round these parts where it seems they want to take our right to protect ourselves away at every corner.
Didn't one of our fellow MTs on this board here have a daughter who got into some serious doo-doo at her school for having pepper spray on her keychain? Explain to me how THAT makes sense to punish a kid, or parent, for wanting to give them a fighting chance and protecting themselves.
Honestly, I think teachers should
refer to students, no matter how old they are, by their first name, always.
Just to avoid misundertandings, like this one!
But teachers often have to use own money to pay for supplies
ujk
Most teachers have at least one planning period when they
can grade papers. If their job requires work-related hours away from school, they are given comp time.
underpaid teachers - what a joke!
I agree that teachers have all this extra work they have to do in their own time, but don't forget about all the paid time off they demanded; spring break, Christmas break, plus the fact that they get most of the summertime off with pay. I think that more than makes up for the extra time they have to put in while school is in session. I have a friend who is in the highest paying school district in Ohio and upon retirement, he and his wife will both be making 80K plus on their pensions. What's so god awful about that!!!!! Winning 10K may not be so great either by the time they pay taxes on it and add it to their income, possibly kicking them into a higher tax bracket. That can be considered a good or bad winning.
Some very dedicated teachers and low paid...
like firemen, police, military who risk their lives for really low pay unlike people with extreme salaries like sports or movie stars.
My sister and her husband are both teachers in Atlanta and -
The word is that many teachers will pass kids out of their current grade just to get rid of them. They tell me the biggest fear of the teachers is to have to teach the same problem child twice! They also say that some parents INSIST that their child be passed no matter what. So sad because it is the children who suffer!
Not many teachers just "work" during the hours school is in
pp
Agree. Teachers of future generations should be better
iop
It is NOT the teachers place to tell a child that Santa doesn't
yeah I just might sue as well!
Make a fuss to school board, principal, teachers, dept. of child welfare (sm)
whoever you need to. I understand these are difficult to get rid of but obviously the mom of that little girl is not getting rid of them, maybe she treats the child but if you don't clean up the environment reinfestation is a sure thing.
We got a letter from the school yesterday stating there is a lice outbreak in the school. Then we had a program last night in which all the 3rd graders put on these little capes (that came out of a community bag where they had used them before at practice and then bagged them back up) They of course went over their heads and rested on their shoulders. I wasn't the only person that sucked in air when they saw this last night.
I am sure that poor child is and will be embarrassed about this and probably other things in the future if her health/hygiene issues are not being taken care of properly.
16 yo gifts
some ideas: A set of weights and a jumprope for working out,a gift card for tunes for his ipod, the complete set of all Rocky movies. My 15 yo is an athlete too and works out constantly. He loves our weight set more than anything.
I appreciate all my gifts. sm
I wear what I don't like. I set out for all to see what I don't like as well. I use everything whether I like it or not. I never put anything in the closet that I get. I never take anything back. I only exchange what doesn't fit for what does. I believe that if someone is nice enough to take the time to get me something, then I should take the time to wear/display it. JMHO.
If it says no gifts
then I don't take a gift. If you want to give her something privately at another time, you could probably do that.
no gifts
Will this be a high-end catered party or could you help the hostess with all the running around to different stores picking up ingredients, cake, decorations or prepping in the kitchen? I would honor the no gifts request. Cat
No gifts
How about a donation to her favorite charity in her name? You wouldn't be giving a gift per se publicly but she would probably appreciate the gesture.
re: no gifts
AWWWW get a gag gift then! Thats what we've done for friends of ours. A friend of ours was turning a bit gray when he was turning 40 and so we all showed up with white hair spray paint in our hair to tease him. He laughed and said we were all cruel! LOL funny thing is now mine is gray!!! lololol
gifts..sm
How many in your office? Are you the PR person in the ofc with the budget from petty cash and going out to buy all the gifts? If that is the case, I would suggest getting everyone Kooshballs in different colors. Who can't resist a new toy on their desk? Just don't peg anyone in the eye when you have your Kooshball fight!  Cat
Gifts...
Package of mini-Sharpies, they come in different colors; gel pens; Post-It note cubes, there are some cute snowmen, Santa ones; gift card from video store; ornaments.
No more gifts!
Sick of all of it, going to spend my money where it's needed, no more "stuff". Plenty of others out there who really need it. Been there!
gifts
There are complicated metal puzzles that are not expensive, but are very entertaining for adults and teens. I have also found extravagant adult coloring books. I think that times are changing and in the future there will be less emphasis on gifts, but for now strange and unexpected can be just as good as expensive.
http://www.mindwareonline.com/MWESTORE/Home/HomePage.aspx?&SG=PMDG1
Did everyone like their Christmas gifts or are there any you don't like? sm
I like all of mine except for the one my stepdaughter insisted that she get for me. It's an Italian charm bracelet and while it has a bunch of cute charms on it, it's not really my style of thing to wear. She ended up spending almost $4 00 on this thing because a lot of the charms were custom made or special order items, all bought on eBay, so I'm stuck with this piece of jewelry. My husband tried telling her that I wouldn't care for this type of thing but she thought I'd really like it and talked him into not receiving a gift from her so she could get this for me. Maybe it'll grow on me over time.
The other gifts, including those of jewelry from my husband, are things I like and will enjoy using around the house or having.
What I did - Christmas gifts
The year after I got a vacuum cleaner for Christmas -- I picked up several things that I wanted -- clothes, jewelry, perfume and wrapped them and put them to him and when he unwrapped them I told him his present was to see me in these things, or smell the perfume, etc. I also got him a few things for the house, ie. towels and low and behold that was the last time that I did not receive something personal for Christmas. They really do not understand and unless we communicate to them and accept the treatment it will continue.
Yes, you need 2 separate gifts - sm
I have not been to one of these in so long I do not remember. I generally went with something more personal with a bridal shower gift but we are talking about best friends, and then something for the 2 of them with a wedding gift. You can always give money for both though. Surprised though they are doing a shower, they should have everything they both need by this time in their life. Maybe some nice kitchen towels or knives or something of that nature if you do not want to go personal; for the wedding gift maybe a gift certificate to a local restuarant (something useful you know they will use). If you do not attend though, you do not have to send a gift though a card would be the nice thing to do.
When it says no gifts, I always take a card. nm
!
No budget, but don't really buy gifts.
Hubby and I only give gifts to people we live with. Which means, we give gifts only to our children. But even for the kids, we don't focus on the gifts. They each get about three gifts and a stocking. Everyone is nearly grown now, ages 17, 18 and 20. DH and I haven't exchanged Christmas gifts in over 20 years. We simply go out and spend time together during the season. We'll have a really nice dinner somewhere, or go to a show, something like that.
I've tried very hard to stay away from the materialism at Christmas. It's just not what it's about.
Iraq gifts sm
Again, cannot emphasize enough the importance of these guys and gals giving their lives so we can live free. Just imagine some terrorist knocking at your door! Gosh, these guys are OUR guys who are offering their lives for us, and will not ask for a thing. The operative word here is NOTHING, is which they ask for. Let's send them lots of SOMETHING! My opeative word is FIRST which is them. Let's get some dialogue going. No negative postings please! Let's just emphasize our GUYS AND GALS who will not be home for CHRISTmas!!!!!!!! I'm ready to give, are you?? Only legit please, we have a brain!
Guy/Girl gifts
We have this every year with one side of family. Last year I bought the girl gift that everyone was wanting!! JCPenney was having a sale of the hair care products and I bought Biolage brand of shampoo, conditioner, hairspray, etc.... it was buy 2 get 1 free. So they got 6 things for less than $40. Guys we have done golf course passes, movie tickets, sports stuff and restaurant gift cards.
Opening gifts
I don't have kids, but when the nieces and nephews on one side open gifts, it is this chaotic scramble, everybody opening at once. That's not how we did it when I was a kid, or on my side of the family today, and I really feel it cheapens it. I don't get to see these kids often, and it would be so enjoyable to have each one open a gift with the rest of us looking on, to see the reaction, talk about the gift, hear the thank-you at the time the gift is received so they comprehend who gave them what. Otherwise, what's the point? Might as well just bring in a dump truck and dump a bunch of stuff on them. I want interaction, not noise.
Is that so wrong?
Silly gifts....
My hubby tries! He got me 2 pair of socks and a pair of slippers! He did not read the package the socks came in....They were for foot odor! Haha I won't let him live this one down for a while! He made up for that with an iPod docking station though! As far as food, I am sooooo stuffed I cannot eat another thing. I am still playing with my kids' toys. The toys out now are so much better than the ones we had growing up! 
funny gifts are the best
We used to do an adult exchange gift for no more than $5 and we had more fun with that than anything else, it was amazing what we could come up with for 5 dollars. Some cheapskate refused to participate because they thought it was a waste of money, so we stopped. I still have most of the gifts and won't regift or throw them out, they make me laugh when I need one. One of my faves is the 20 foot yacht, a small plastic boat with 20 little plastic shoes.The last one I got was an ornament of the leg-shaped lamp from Christmas Story.
Already got my husband's gifts
I got him a nice new pair of shoes since he is on his feet all day at work as a nurse (some new Nike Shox), as well as a couple of Wii games that he has been wanting. We will also probably go out to dinner since he is off for Valentine's day.
Appreciation for gifts
Do you have your children (let's say over the age of 8) write thank you notes or call to say thank you when they receive a gift? I have always tried to make sure my child knows the importance of the small gesture of saying thanks when receiving a gift. Of course I have never made the child write a stack of 20 after a birthday party but when receiving a St. Patrick's day card with money from his Aunt or grandma....an extra special gift because he did well in sports or school...things of that nature I have made a point for him to say "thank you" in some way to that person. I am a little hurt that my sister has not once had her children call to say thank you or send me a post card, a picture/drawing, nothing. I know that I am very old fashioned and martha stewart-ish so just wondering if I'm a little loopy on this topic or if others do this too.
Baking gifts
Do any of you give baked goods during the holidays? What are some of your favorites? I get tired of making the same ole bread, cookies, and chocolate covered pretzels every year.
I will say that last year I put peanut butter between 2 Ritz crackers and then covered them in baking chocolate (white and semi-sweet) and they turned out really well. I put sprinkles on the white ones (they showed up better than on the semi-sweet ones).
tricky gifts
Whatever your specialty is in a nice bag or basket.
Coffee mix recipes with chocolate and cinnamon are good. I made chocolate dipped plastic spoons and those came out good too because you can use really nice chocolate.
There are a lot of ideas out there!
Christmas Gifts
We have two daughters 5 and 14. It's harder with the 14 year old because now she wants all the high end gifts. We usually spend about $300 per child and we're probably going to do about the same this year. Luckily they're about the only people we buy for any more. If we had a lot of family members to buy for it would probably be a lot less. Now that the nieces and nephews are older and some married, we don't get them gifts and the few relatives we do buy for we usually don't spend a whole lot. My husband and I already got our Christmas gift for each other, a big flat screen TV so we're basically done with ourselves too.
we don't exchange gifts either
We stopped exchanging gifts about 30 years ago. When my husband and I first approached the subject, we met with some resistance, but we stood our ground and said we would not be buying gifts. My husband is the oldest in a family of 7. By the time they all married and had children, the number could have been quite staggering to buy for. I was a surprise baby, my sisters being greater than 11 years older than I am, so when they began their families I was too young to buy anything to buy for them and so never started doing so. Now both of our families agree the holidays are much more enjoyable without the stress of the gift buying, worrying about what to get, how much, will the like it, can I afford it, etc., etc. The true gift of Christmas is the love we feel for our families and all we ask is time with them, and everyone agrees on this. We usually bake or take small treats to the families are who have misfortune of spending Christmas at the Ronald McDonald House in our city due to the illness of a child. Often the other kids in the family (the healthy ones) get lost in the shuffle of caring for a child with cancer. There is no gift one can give as great as giving and bringing joy to a family in such a situation. Anyway, my point is that there may be others in the family who will feel the same way, that it is just too stressful, and you may find that they will appreciate the holidays much more if the gift stress is taken out of the equation.
I should add here, I do buy something for my own children but usually one or two things and my grandchildren because, after all, Santa still comes (!) and I do think Christmas gift giving is for children. Watching my little ones open is a gift a truly a fun thing to do and makes me happy. I do ask my kids not to buy for me or my husband because they have young families and can't afford the extra money. I have always told them I would rather they spend time with me any day then go out and buy a gift.
I have 2 gifts that fit this bill.
Back in the 80s my mother made 2 quilts, one side silky and the other side imitation fur. You talk about warm! Have used those since. The best gift ever was not Christmas but my husband (actually called first to make sure ok) and then bought me home my 2 tuxedo cats- they were really small when he first got them but they have grown into big lovable guys. One a Christmas and the other just a gift. I am blessed.
I have 2 gifts that fit this bill.
Back in the 80s my mother made 2 quilts, one side silky and the other side imitation fur. You talk about warm! Have used those since. The best gift ever was not Christmas but my husband (actually called first to make sure ok) and then bought me home my 2 tuxedo cats- they were really small when he first got them but they have grown into big lovable guys. One a Christmas and the other just a gift. I am blessed.
senior gifts
Not sure why, but a senior once told me they love getting writing paper and postage stamps.
Puppy gifts
Training pads - and plenty of them!
Gifts and celebrations
Mine is 24 and still lives at home while at college...I stopped inviting the whole family last year but my inlaws and sisters still celebrate with us and any member of our family is welcome. My bil's significant other asked me a couple years ago when we stopped giving Christmas and Bday gifts, 18 was good wasn't it and I told her that I would give gifts as long as I wanted to do but she was free to do what she wanted, last year she asked my sil the same thing and got the same response.
Gifts from the kids on Mother's day??? (sm)
This is one that I never understood. Do you have very little children?? I raised my kids by myself and they never had a dad around to make sure they got gifts for me. They made things in school when they were little. Then as they got a little older (like even just 6 or 7) they would say they didn't make anything in school that year, and I would tell them, well then it would be nice if you make breakfast or supper for me! They always did it themselves, and I ate whatever they made. I just never understood buying something for your kids to give your wife. It's the kids' mother, not the husband's.
gifts are Never to be expected--what happened
Food, clothing, shelter and love is expected. Gifts are superlatives to life, not an expectation or the receipient will lead a disappointed life. JMO
Shower/Wedding gifts
The only time that I give money or a gift card as a gift is if I am traveling to the wedding and then it is just easier than trying to pack a gift, get it through security, etc. When I take a gift, if it is something that is duplicated or something the couple does not want or need - I leave it up to them to return it - I let them figure out where it came from and how to return it with no gift receipt. Today's brides and grooms are a bit too greedy and ungrateful for my taste - I can't count how many thank-you notes I have never received - so I make them work if they want a return - which now days usually cannot be for cash.
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