Yes, You Should
Posted By: WA Clinic MT on 2007-01-24
In Reply to: Should I? - Raquel
Okay, first of all, I've know had about 5 girlfriends who have described their present hopeful as "a wonderful Christian man" before they got together with them, only to find out after marriage that one of them beat up his wife, two of them cheated on their wife, one of them molested a daughter, and one of them wouldn't ever work, just stayed home and made excuses. So, as much as I think it's good to try to make sure your religions match, "He's a wonderful Christian man" doesn't mean "No worries."
Now, having said that, I had been married once, and in a serious relationship once, and had totally given up on finding the man of my dreams, so decided not to. And, then, there he was. He was in the exact same position. Had just given up. We got together and because we both had kids, had to work through that, as well as work on getting our lives in sync. A relationship is work no matter how wonderful he is. There's always romance at the beginnning, then reality sets in. So, rather than looking at his qualities in order to decide whether it is time to hope, you need to look at yourself. Do you really want to go through the rough times that inevitably come of putting two families together AND do you want your kids to? I did and it took 10 years to get "through the valley of the shadow of death," as a pastor's wife once called the hard times. But, if you are willing to take all the bad with the good and commit yourself and not look for anyone else, EVER, then, yes, you should hope. If you aren't to the point where you want to go through the occasional crap that comes with any longterm relationship, then no. You shouldn't.
I wish you happiness, whatever you decide.
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- Should I? - Raquel
- Yes, You Should - WA Clinic MT
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