Yes. Make your teenager responsible for as much as she can pay for.
Posted By: Drive Safe on 2006-12-26
In Reply to: Should teenage drivers pay for ....sm - Mom of 2
and maybe a little more. Don't make it easy. Make sure that she has to work a little (not so much that grades suffers), has to budget, and plan and take the responsibility of driving seriously. This is more than likely the most dangerous thing your child has done so far her life. Make sure she understands that. It's not a social thing, a drive-around-with-your-friends thing. Preparing a young person for driving responsibilities is life and death.
Unfortunately, in the last three yeas, I've been to three funerals for teenage drivers -- all of whom were out of control in every aspect of their lives. Our state does not allow children to become licensed drivers until age 16-1/2. Our house rule was age 17. We did pay for the driver's ed, because it was pricey, our sons truly could not afford it, and we wanted our boys to have ever chance to learn to drive safely. Even though we taught them ourselves, as well, sometimes kids hear better what total strangers say to them! Also, I had a rule during permit driving sessions with my boys. They were never allowed to argue with me while we drove together. I was the teacher. I knew more than them. No arguing over anything, or else I terminated the lesson, car was pulled over, I drove home and that was the end until I felt we were ready for another driving lesson. That rule drove home how serious a responsibility driving is. I only had to do it once to one of my sons.
My oldest was lucky enough to inherit is grandfather's pristine 1991 Toyota (38,000 original miles) when pop-pop no longer could drive. It's a decent, dependable car. My son pays for repairs and gas. We pay for the insurance at this point, simply because we live in a big eastern city, and insurance is sky high. But, our son is also paying his own college tuition, so I have no problem helping him out with the insurance on his car.
This is a big deal. Make sure your daughter grasps the gravity of the responsibility. Don't argue with her about anything. These decisions have to be made by the parents, because it's a health and safety issue for your daughter and everyone else on the road with her.
Complete Discussion Below:  marks the location of current message within thread
The messages you are viewing
are archived/old.
To view latest messages and participate in discussions, select
the boards given in left menu
Other related messages found in our database
Make him responsible for the decision
If he wants to switch schools and give up the scholarship, tell him he has to get the funding to do it. I had to do the same thing with my daughter. She gave up a good scholarship at a great private school for pharmacy because she wanted to come back closer to home to be around her boyfriend. She ended up having to take out the loans to pay for it.
There is nothing written in stone that says we have to pay for our children's educations. It is nice if you can help as a parent, but I think kids learn much more if they have some of their own resources invested.
as a teenager those were the best sm
I just remembered that it really sucked waiting for the dough "to rise". Never really saw any difference but my BFF and I loved them. We also loves Pizza rolls, couldn't get enough of them.
this isn't about you, and your're not a teenager
nm
we used to do something similar when I was a teenager sm
(back when the earth was still cooling,LOL). We took a block of cream cheese and poured Tiger Sauce over it. Sure was good!! Don't know if Tiger Sauce is even still available but it would probably be along where the hot sauce is in the grocery store.
Yes, but if only 1 kid responsible, do you really think
the whole school would be given notice of being punished? Think about it. I am sure and anyone who does this type of work knows there are products out there to help a gaseous distention. My goodness. My DIA parapro here in Georgia and she tells me when her classroom children do things like this and she tells them to say excuse me - they tell her their parents don't mind. You all need to research this a little and I am sure you would be surprised as to whether medically related or attention getting actions.
You are not responsible for others
especially in an age group like this, just as you are not responsible for your parents. When you are grown, responsible for your own actions. Saying this did not have to happen- your life is written before you are born and no matter, that is already decided. This is the way it was supposed to be or never would have happened. I am not saying this is horrible situation but just the way these lives were supposed to start and if not this way, another way but I believe things are going to happen like your whole life is already planned out. Make plans but does not matter.
There are a lot of responsible and
a lot of irresponsible 15 year olds out there. In our state you can't get a license until you are at least16 and 3 months and then after driver's ed and behind the wheel. At 15 my son was definitely responsible enough. My daughter will be 15 in January and I don't know if I would say the same about her. You are the parent and you know your child and what they can and can't handle.
You are not responsible if he won't help himself (sm)
Tell him you think he needs to go to be observed a little while at the mental ward at the hospital. If he will not work and will not go get welfare, that is his problem, not yours. He should not expect you to take care of him if he won't even apply for welfare - anyone can fill out the paperwork for that, good grief. I think I would have to tell him off really well...or seriously tell him that since he won't do anything at all to take care of himself, he needs to go to a nursing home or mental hospital. Tell him you will have him committed.
be responsible and fix your cat.
nm
comparing yourself to a teenager makes you look...
and you don't know how to put "no message" on outside of your post, so we don't have to waste time clicking to open your message just to see there is no message!
I think she said in her post that it was a teenager in her neighborhood.
My daughter would do it for that amount just for spending money. I wish I could have someone come in just once a month to do major cleaning. My daughter and I with the help of my husband do cleaning every Saturday with of course spot cleaning during the week, but just once a month would be great to do the things I hate doing.
Need advice on teenager vehicles......sm
Okay, it is time to get my 16-yo her own vehicle. I intend to get her an older vehicle (less than 10 yrs old), pay cash for it as I don't want payments for she or myself. How does everyone handle with kids what percentage you make them pay for etc? I want her to learn responsibility and appreciate the vehicle, just by my preference would prefer to pay in cash (less than $5000, hopefully). Do I make her responsible to pay her own insurance or half of it? By her own gas? or should I make her buy the car from me? Not sure what everyone else does so I would like some ideas as I said, I don't want to just give her everything in life. I want to make her earn it, take care of it, appreciate it, and be responsible, but don't want to go overboard either. She is in 10th grade, A/B student (Currently 11th place in class and working towards bumping up to be in top ten by the time she graduates). She is very well behaved, never a troubled child. She does have a lot of activities that would prevent her from making much of any income with an after school job. She is varsity cheerleader (off season just now, but will practice all summer), plays tennis, basketball/baseball manager, takes tumbling classes 1 night a week. So she is very busy in a good way. She would also be driving siblings to school for me and running errands occasionally. Anyone care to share what you do/have done or have any ideas/suggestions?
When I was a teenager my mother had mono
My dad and the doctor (IMO) ingored the problem until she had such a high fever that she was halucinating. At that point I informed my dad that he had two choices, take her to the hospital or call 911. He took her in and they were all amazed at how bad she was. I know they gave her some kind of antibiotic.
I could have shot my dad. He is a total hypochondriac and yet he would let her go that far.
When I was a teenager I loved babysitting
There were a couple of incredible kids right across the street that I often babysat for. I had them one New Year's Eve and I had planned games and made cupcakes for them to decorate. We had a blast.
There was a family behind us that had a 4yr old daughter and 2yr old twin sons. I only babsat for them once. I took my purse with me when I went to their house and one of the kids tried to get into it so I put it on top of the fridge. Walked into the kitchen a couple of minutes later and found one of the kids standing on a chair trying to get to my purse. Found another kid in the upstairs kids bathroom with an entire bottle of shampoo poured out all over the throw rug. I finally got them calmed down and was reading to them while sitting on the floor in the den. I have no idea how this happened but within a matter of a couple of minutes I was "accidentally" poked in both eyes. I spent 3 hours with these "kids" and got $5.00. After that every time the mom called I was busy.
When I was a teenager, my Dalmatian chewed
both of the rear tail-lights off my dad's new Lincoln Continental. She also once ate an entire, 6-foot leather leash. Taking her for a walk was like going out with a vacuum-cleaner with legs!
You sound like a little teenager with your response
You were the one who was giving a free ticket to a man freaking out after a childbirth. There is not that much freaking in the world. Grow up! You should have listened more closely to the adults when you were smaller. Your post was ridiculous.
I wish to share with you my experience as a teenager.
Hi T: Your story sounds a little like what happened to me as a teenager. Well really I was a virgin until 17, but after that I went through a period when I declared my independence -- or at least I thought I was. You are so right though about girls waiting and they should not just go for sex with the 1st boy they meet. I really feel sorry for girls who get caught up in this lifestyle, thinking to be popular with the boys, they have to do this. Where are their mothers and dads who should guide them and give them enough confidence that they can just walk away and not worry if they are popular or not.
I find this behavior very sad and disappointing for the girls involved. Of course now that I am much older and I realize how foolish this was for me. But there is still a hypocritical element to our society and boys want to get as many of the girls they can, but in the end they do not respect them. What a vicious circle it is as a teenager. I am just glad that is all behind me, as I am up in age near retirement.
If I had a chance to talk to the young girls, I know what I would say. You must value yourself and avoid any young men who would degrade you in any way. I just wish I had a mother to be there for me at that very difficult time in my life. That would make all the difference in the world.
P.S. T do not be too harsh on yourself. I think I know where you were coming from (mind set). This is a painful part of my past, which I have always wished to cover up. It is healing to bring it out in the open.
I wish to share with you my experience as a teenager.
Hi T: Your story sounds a little like what happened to me as a teenager. Well really I was a virgin until 17, but after that I went through a period when I declared my independence -- or at least I thought I was. You are so right though about girls waiting and they should not just go for sex with the 1st boy they meet. I really feel sorry for girls who get caught up in this lifestyle, thinking to be popular with the boys, they have to do this. Where are their mothers and dads who should guide them and give them enough confidence that they can just walk away and not worry if they are popular or not.
I find this behavior very sad and disappointing for the girls involved. Of course now that I am much older and I realize how foolish this was for me. But there is still a hypocritical element to our society and boys want to get as many of the girls they can, but in the end they do not respect them. What a vicious circle it is as a teenager. I am just glad that is all behind me, as I am up in age near retirement.
If I had a chance to talk to the young girls, I know what I would say. You must value yourself and avoid any young men who would degrade you in any way. I just wish I had a mother to be there for me at that very difficult time in my life. That would make all the difference in the world.
P.S. T do not be too harsh on yourself. I think I know where you were coming from (mind set). This is a painful part of my past, which I have always wished to cover up. It is healing to bring it out in the open.
No matter how responsible you are
and how much time you spend with them, you cannot be there 24-7 to supervise them. That is completely unrealistic. Can we take them to the doctor, to the store, to the kids' school? Come on now.
There is a responsible way to crate an animal. No matter how much you train them, my labs still would have eaten anything in site for a certain period of time. There is no way I would leave them unattended to run my errands and chance them getting into something that could harm them. Regardless of the material objects as you call them, they could get hurt.
Also, a child does need a crib and a playpen. To say that those are used so that you do not have to supervise your kids is ridiculous. Everyone has to go to the restroom at some point. Should we carry them everywhere or perhaps let them run around so they can get into something that would harm them until we finish our business? Wow....
I believe a pediatrician would even tell you that those are necessary in raising a healthy child, and I am not talking about someone who puts their kids in a playpen all day instead of spending time with them either.
No, he is an adult and responsible for himself.
nm
Too bad some responsible adult...
could not get those kids. We have a celebutard, immature, crazy mother against a wanna be anything hanger on who is only interested in money...some role models! I hope there is money put away for the therapy those kids will need. The parents even give white trash a bad name!
sounds like you have a very responsible son!
that's awesome. He hasn't pushed the issue so I may just wait until he asks again. i also need to check the policy at school regarding boys wearing earrings.
no, it is not all a matter of responsible
ownership. There have been very loving responsible owners themselves attacked by their own dogs. A popular dog breed can be overbred indiscriminately and ruined. Unfortuntately this breed is too unpredictable. I've always been around animals, large and small and have both now. I would never have a pit bull. I visit my friend less often now who now has one, and won't get out of the car if it is loose. Not to mention that these dogs don't just bite, which would be bad enough, they instinctively go for the kill. I haven't read the link you provided yet, but do NOT believe that breed-specific legislation is stupid. This particular bill may be over the top, but breed-specific laws are brought on by a need, and wouldn't get off the ground without plenty of facts on record to support it.
A responsible owner would never allow...sm
Their pitbull to wander around public. That is why we have attacks. Owners should be responsible and keep them as well as any dog in a fenced in yard. Or if out in public on a leash. Mine will never be wandering around in public on its own. That is totally irresponsible. If I saw a pitbull out in public I would be cautious myself.
Dear Responsible
I think responsible and owner of pitbull somehow just does not go together.
The owners who are not responsible are ...sm
the problem. I would be mad too if I went out and was approached by a pit bull who growled at me, and I own a pitbull. He should be kept in his owners yard or home. No dog, pit or otherwise, should be allowed to roam around the neighborhood.
I fully understand you being furious. I would be too.
You are not responsible for any loonies out there
By having feedback like I got from this site, gave me an understanding of how to approach this sorta awkward situation. You just have people out there that seem to thrive on what they perceive to be right and what is the actual truth.
Bulemic teenager - advice needed...sm
I've suspected for a while that my soon to be 16 stepdaugher is bulemic but her dad doesn't believe it. Right after she eats a meal she goes to the bathroom and stays a long time. She has lost about 40 lbs over the past year. Today while doing laundry I found a note that she wrote and says:
Eat & Die. No eat for a week (in & out) Lose 10 lbs. Eat again.
I am going to share this with my hubby when he calls while on a lunch break from work. Perhaps now he'll believe me. I've called the pediatrician's office and left a message for them to call me with the name of a psychologist treating eating disorders to take her to.
Any ideas of how to handle him if he still is in denial? I'm sure the stepdaughter will deny the eating disorder... she did before when I asked her about it. Overall she & I do have a good relationship but this is an area I know she's not being honest about.
i would take this opportunity to educate your teenager and her friends sm
on cycles and ovulation. you can only get pregnant during ovulation, which is usually 10-14 days after they start that time of the month. educate them at least and give them info to research and educate themselves. of course abstinence or protection is best, but education is better compared to kids having kids too.
teenager vomiting each month without menses
Hey all. Need some advice. I have a neice who has started vomiting violently every month, but has yet to begin menstruating. We are thinking it may be related to her period/onset of her period. i have heard of this somewhere, but for the life of me cannot remember what I heard. Any information/advice?
Also, anyone here that can recommend a good ob/gyn in the Lexington, Kentucky area?
Thanks in advance.
HC
Dear Ms Thinks she is responsible
Truely funny how pitbull owners go on the defensive with what other dogs do. I am sure animal control knows how to be around and handle but even these people are attacked by these dogs. I rescue animals (not these as I want no responsibility for their acting out)but where I rescue these dogs are not adopted out, just put down. Even the people who are in the "know" so to speak do not want to be responsible.
YOU are not responsible for his debts, HIS ESTATE is....
You should read the posts better.
Was your brother your stepbrother and your mother your stepmother?
Therefore you did not care to help in locating your stepnephew/niece, so that they can get their shares?
No, you can not be held responsible for their bill -
nm
You shouldn't feel responsible....
As mean as it sounds, you have put up with it and YOU have decided for yourself that enough is enough and if you tell him so and IF he bounces back to alcoholism, then basically he is a grown man and that is HIS choice, you cannot let it affect you or make you feel responsible.
My sister-in-law is in the same boat as far as her husband being an alcoholic. It has put so much stress on her and their children and it has been going on about 15 years. He won't seek help though and she won't leave him. She just says that she is hoping one day he wakes up and sees what a good wife she is. I feel bad for her that she has wasted so much time on someone like that.
she absolutely can be judged harshly; any teenager should be for this reason
nm
My teenager has learned a text messaging lesson...sm
A couple of weeks ago while at drama practice one of her peers asked if she could use her cell phone both days of practice as she didn't have her cell phone with her. My daughter let this other kid use her phone and didn't pay attention to the fact she was staying on it the entire time of the practices (the other kid only had a couple of lines). When my daughter walked over to her her phone she saw the other kid texting - and we don't have text messaging as part of our plan.
The bill arrived yesterday and this other child ran up $63.40 in text charges because there's a 20 cent/kb/message fee. My daughter isn't happy that she has to pay this bill out of her babysitting money but I reminded her that her phone is her responsibility and I'm not paying her bill. She swears she'll never let anyone use her phone again. I do hope she's learned her lesson!
You are only responsible for changing your behavior, not someone elses
I am the product of a divorce years and years ago and thank goodness my mother had enough sense to not stay with my father. He was actually caught running around on her with other women. I knew my father growing up, spent time with he and my stepmom, loved her but I missed absolutely nothing by not having him in my house every day. You are responsible for your own self-. The advice you are giving is like saying a man messes around on a woman, drinks too much and maybe after the marriage he will change. You can only make yourself happy, no one else can do that for you. I have never had a time when I could not stand my husband, never and I would believe he probably feels the same. We laugh when others say they have to work at marriage- we just do not get this. Like I said, product of divorce, happily married myself, never missed my father, saw him but never, ever close in my life. By the way, I am one of the older and wiser group also.
As a teenager, I worked as a waitress...it sure was a school of hard knocks. LOL.
Waitresses have one of the toughest jobs. A good waitress deserves all of her 20% tips. Not enought money, IMHO.
Because you breed out of wedlock then that makes you a responsible person?
Sorry, not where I come from. I am so glad I did not bring home (well years ago it just WAS NOT done) children. If a female got pregnant, sent away to an unwed mother home, most of the time the child given up for adoption. When I was growing up you did not pop out babies right and left without a husband. I have had more than my share of responsibility, been able to stand on my own 2 feet and provide really well for my family. I made the right decision for me and do not regret and have never looked back on my decisions.
I completely believe Howard Stern is responsible for both Daniel
much for it just to be overdoses in two cases. I don't buy it.
I see where you are coming from because I would be nagged by guilt and feeling responsible
for the problem. I have those tendencies too. No way should you cash your IRA for a car.
Our teenager learned a valuable lesson today about cell phones....
She got a new cell phone last month and downloaded a bunch of ringtones, even though I reminded her that each one costs money + the transfer fee, which the system prompts you for as we don't have the internet plan for the cell phone (don't do text messaging either). Well, she ignored the prompts about the 3 cents per kilibite fee and size of the files alert when she accepted the downloads she selected. To make a long story short..... her bill for her downloads is right at $60.
She is crying that she has to pay this bill but I'm not working overtime because she ignored my telling her about the costs and accepted the charges. This will teach her a lesson on responsibility. She was expecting the bill to be about $20. She'll be babysitting up a storm this next month to pay this bill!
O talks about our government being fiscally responsible and his wife is wearing $500 designer shoes.
It's not "her money to spend as she pleases." It's my money, your money, his money, her money. O better put up or shut up and that means his family too. No more big talk about the deficit, fiscal responsbility, and redistribution of wealth when when his wife is walking around in designer duds. Am I the only person that sees hypocrisy in that?
At that rate, I could make in a week what I make
x
can buy 4 items for teenager for same price buy 8 items for younger.
nm
they are not rough looking; they are just skateboarders; all teenager skateboarders I know
nm
I would make a good Beth with wig on. Not sure DH would make a good Dog.
xx
That just does not make me think more of you. You are still sm
still coming off as a spoiled woman and not deserving of her time, money, or affections. Lady, you are one spoiled woman.
Anyone know what something I can make up
husband wants another (we already have 3). I'm secretly taking the pill and he wants to know why I am not getting pregnant.
I was thinking of making up something like "I cant have kids anymore because of something" ..... anyone know what "something" I can make up?
can't make
My chicken soup tastes like dishwater.
Well I know who all 3 are, so what does that make me?
x
|
