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Yes, I do believe he owes you and your husband and apology.. sm

Posted By: m on 2009-02-12
In Reply to: Our son owes us an apology? - Backwards typist

You don't say how old he was when he refused to go to school, but I'm guessing he was high-school aged. I have a son who is now almost 18 and getting him to go to school up until this last fall was a struggle. He is learning disabled and absolutely hated school, couldn't care less if the schoolhouse burned to the ground. Thankfully, I was able to get him into a work program this past fall which will satisfy his graduation requirements and he is very happy with it now. I wish you had had access to some kind of program when your son was in school. However, his choices were his own and he has to accept responsibility for them.


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Our son owes us an apology?

He blames us for him quitting school and him working at a job for 6 years that he hated. He is 36-years-old. He refused to go to school and the fines we received for him not going to school cost hundreds of dollars. We made him pay those fines. But the whole point was he hated school, wanted to quit, but we thought if he worked a summer, he would go back. He made the choice not to go back to school even though we begged him to because with education, he would get better jobs, but to no avail. Now he is blaming us for ruining his life. "After all, I spent 6 years at a job I hated and I wasted my life."


He is now in a good job, but it really hurts that he thinks we are the ones that caused his problems. Now he's telling my husband, because there is no work for his occupation, that that's no excuse not to go and get a job somewhere else.


What is wrong with this picture?  I am furious with him. I think he owes my husband an apology. What do you think? 


I'm venting here because if I say anything to him right now, it will go in one ear and out the other. He is totally right all the time in his mind.


Legally, he probably owes you more
If you really wanted to be technical, legally it needs to be served doesn't it?
This woman owes no one anything regarding the name
I went to my brother's child funeral (my niece) the other day. Brother killed in an accident when this child was 6, she died at 39, raised by stepfather for most of those 30+ years. My maternal aunt and I at funeral and yet the stepfather got up and referred to the deceased as his daughter- my aunt did not like that as basically erased her father from her life but things like this happen- this person can and should name her child whatever she wants. If the relationship is that tedious with only a name, then she does not need those kind of people in her life. Simple.
Ethics, she owes big time,
otherwise why the secret from her husband? Saving her own tail.
Must be he owes back taxes or is
wanted for some other crime that worse than $200,00 is good!
How about sister-in-law who owes big time
My brother had custody of his two children since they were babies. They are not nearly 30 years old but his ex was court ordered to pay child support and she is now in arrears to the tune of over 30K+.....just report their SS# to the IRS yourself so they won't get tax refunds EVER!!
I don't have a clue how much my brother owes
for his children, but at this point he will never catch up. My parents (who are defintely able to do this) payed my ex-SIL instead. My brother just says they are just giving them his inheritance. My parents bypassed him in their wills long ago and set up trust funds for his children. This is while he was still married. As soon as he finally got a job his ex let it be known and money is witheld from every paycheck. At least he is trying a little now and things are starting to look up, but.... I really hate it for all of those who don't have anyone else to step in and help and I really admire the ones that do it all on their own.
Dave is my Baby Daddy who owes $27K,


that's probably me calling....sorry. 


Apology
Opie, I would like to personally apologize for my fellow brother in Christ and I would like to say to Christians: I call on all of you to reread your life manual (Bible) and really pay close attention to the Gospel (Good News) Jesus preached and lived.  Our role, as was his, is not to condemn the world (people).  If you think your role is to condemn or critize the world I suggest you pray first and find out WWJD.  If He wants you to confront someone He will let you know how and when but 9 times out of 10 he will point you to Matt 7: 1 thru 5 or 1 Sam 16:7.  Let us live and preach true Christianity which is that of reconciliation with the Creator and not condemnation.
apology
I don't see an apology as a punishment; I see it as an aknowledgement to wrong doing and making her accountable. It works for my kids, and by now they know I expect it. I understand the little gal was tired, but I simply do not see an apology as a punishment.
You don't owe them an apology (sm)
They owe you one. You remind me of myself up until recent years. Don't always be sorry. You are not always wrong. :-) I know you are just trying to make peace and drop it - but you really have nothing to be sorry for.
an apology

I just realized that I sounded really mean and I apologize.  As a thin person, maybe you don't realize that those of us who need to lose weight, and struggle with it, maybe took your post as boasting about how tiny you are.  If you want to offer support, I'm glad for that.  I'll take it, as I need to lose about 50 pounds.  Again, I'm sorry for being nasty.  It's hard bein' chubby. 


I agree. I think an apology is very appropriate.

Having to admit one did wrong and apologize for it is sometimes the "best" way to not forget the action and not do it again.


Cat, not for you to call for apology
I think the original poster can take care of herself. While most of us do not know the terminology in birthing cattle, horses, etc. Hayseed will do ok just on her own.
ha ha---we ALL owe our parents an apology:-)
Unfortunately we never realize that until our OWN kids put us through stuff.
then why point it out at all if it needs an apology? sm
sounds like you were more offended than any Navy SEAL would be. geez.
Your apology is accepted, Ella...sm
I've never had a person apologize on here to me. :)
The apology was referencing the title, not the author (nm)
Okay, you opened this. It is (nm) in the subject line...

So I will elaborate...

An Iowan is correct

I also had An Walking On Eggshells Mother is not correct...

Get it yet?

Good...

:)

Does your husband or significant other do this? Just now, at 7:30, my husband came home from sm

playing sports with a friend.  After showering he comes downstairs naked and tries to start a conversation with me. My "office" is in the living room and he is standing in back of the couch so I can't see any private parts, just him without his shirt, but I can see enough to know he clearly is naked! I think he wants me to be amused or get turned on or something, but I'm not amused one bit. In fact, I keep working and basically ignore him.


Poor guy. I swear he thinks he's Vince Vaughn or something. I should at least smile at him but all I want to tell him is to put some clothes on! ugh!


My husband is the same way
Something about guys and their cars. I have no kids though and recently married so we still do some of our banking and bills separately by my choice. I thought he was being selfish too. So I got myself a 2nd part time job and I recently went out and bought a newer, bigger, fully loaded SUV and I don't let him use it! lol
My husband and I are doing it right now
and it is working, slowly but surely.  After the first couple of things are paid off, its gets better and faster.  We have a poster board with all our debt and we redo it every three months, and I must say that you see the debt going away.   My hubbie cut all my credit cards up, and I was upset but in the scheme of things, it was the best.  We only have one income and its working.  Give it a try, I think you'll be surprised that it actually does work.  My friend is also doing it, and their debt is disappearing also.
My husband and I did think of it. NM
x
What is your husband's take on that? nm
x
Go for it! I met my husband .....sm
2 months after his wife died from a 3 year bout with cancer and we're very happily married.

Good luck!!!
My husband always tries, although he just
doesn't necessarily have the same taste as me. It is a hit and miss with him, but he always tries. This year we did not exchange gifts (agreed upon ahead of time) because I got a new house and he got a new truck. We concentrated on the kids. The only gripe I really have is that he doesn't do much in the way of getting me gifts from the kids on Mother's Day, and he's not much of a card person, although I am.

He helped me clean all week though, did anything I asked pretty much, cleaned up all day today, etc.

Honestly though, I do not agree with the posts below about making a list. I think that a gift should come from the heart and that some thought should be put into it. Things that I just want, I go get them myself.
My husband and I have 2

roundtrip airfare tickets for anywhere in the US.  I'm looking for an all-inclusive resort (room, meals, activities), but am having a hard time finding one.  Can you help me out with this?  Thanks!


My husband
used this for his leg pain due to fibromyalgia but had a very bad reaction to it so was not able to continue to use it. He found a natural supplement online that has helped. Best of luck!!
So, you would be okay with your husband
nm
This is what my husband (sm)
told me last night. I really hope that isn't what is going on. I am going to talk to her again about it again today. She has a cell phone (very near and dear to her heart!) I like for her to have it, so that I know she is okay when she isn't home, but since I now know that she is still smoking, I think I have very good reason to ground her. Hence, she won't be needing the cell phone.

Thanks for the input everyone.
My husband only uses
regular lotion, but he does like to take baths sometimes. He was glad when we moved and got a garden tub so he could soak. He doesn't go out of his way to use bubbles, but he will take one with me with bubbles.
Met my first husband when I was 5, LOL - sm
First crush was Greg. I met him when I was 5. We played together at church. We started "going together" when I was 13. We got married when I was 18. We got divorced when I was 32. Tried again several times. Finally called it quits when I was 37...sigh.

Then there was Stacy....we were together for two years.

Then there is Tommy, we have been together for three years - married for two years.

My husband was the one who
donated the sperm and had it washed, the doctor performed the IUI, and nature created twins. It was a WE effort in my case.
This is your husband
If there's one person in the world you should be honest with, it's your husband.  Don't lie about this, this is BIG...just explain to him your feelings and if he loves you and you love him, you can work it out and make both of you happy.  But lying WILL come back to bite you in the a$$...trust me, I know...good luck!
My husband was gay
We've been divorced for a while now, but it still hurts like crazy. I don't know anyone who has been through this. Is there anyone out there who's spouse came out to them?
My husband did!
He had to have surgery because otherwise the muscles would have atrophied. Because lifting was required for his job, he was out on disability for 4 months. However, soon afterward a radiologist I knew had it done, and he only took 1 day off and then was back at work, not complaining, and not taking strong pain killers. My hubby is a big guy, and it was hard on him, but he's able to work fine now. He has also had cervical spinal fusion, and the rotator cuff was worse for him, oddly enough.
Husband and I have dog and cat instead!
Kids...no thank you! Decided at around 12-13 or so that I didn't want any. I'm 30 now and haven't changed my mind and don't plan to.
I AM SO MAD AT HUSBAND
I am so mad with this man. Last night he made a comment that all I have to do on my job is sit on my A_ _ and stare at a computer screen. He thinks this job is cushy. I transcribe every foreign doctor known to man for 8-10 hours 5-6 days a week, achieve OVER my line counts and bring home more money than he does and I work from home. What in the world does he think gives him the right to talk down to me? Even though I love it, this is one of the most taxing jobs I have ever had in my life. The mental drain is incomprehensible at times. I was so mad when he came up with that, I would have thrown him out if he would have had anywhere else to go!
mad at husband
Do what I do..i put him in my chair with my own keyboard, a set of headphones and told him i would be back in 30 minutes. And I gave him one of my best enunciating docs to boot. Needless to say....no more sit on my a** comments any more. I put the son in the chair too. Good luck.

Which one, the husband or dog?
He, he!
What do you do when your husband says

He does not love you anymore after 10 years of marriage and 3 kids?  He left once about 3 years ago, but came back saying he missed us and loved me and that he was just going through a tough time and he knew he was making a bad choice.  I thought we were okay, not smart of me, then he started getting distant and grumpy all the time again, and he told me last night that he tried really hard these last 3 years, mostly for our kids sake and because he cares about me and does not want to leave me high and dry, but he does not love me and is not happy with me.  He says we have nothing in common anymore, which we really didn't in the first place, but it was okay until recently. 


I don't know what to do.  All 3 kids are extremely close to their dad, and he loves them so much, but I feel I should move to where my parents are (next town 20 miles away) but it will be harder for him to see them and also rent is so much higher for housing there.  I just feel like I want to be closer to my family because here, I have NO ONE.  I moved here because it was his hometown and he was happy.  I also have the kids in preschool here, again cheaper than in the town I want to go to.  My son will be in first grade and needs speech therapy for developmental delay and I like the people who have been working with him as they know his history.  Am I being selfish wanting to take them away from here?  I am lost and don't know what to do.  Thanks for listening. 


What do you do when husband...
Ditto totally trose. Permanently CLOSE his door except when dealing with/talking about children. Work hard at your job, totally concentrate on YOUR life and family. God is your refuge..will keep you safe and won't lead you wrong. You are strong (else you wouldn't be an mtmomof3) ... you can do this. Will remember you in my prayers.
husband
he sounds like a pig... i say move on
My husband will be right over! LOL!
xx
Is my husband
Because I think we are married to the same guy. Here's my rule: I don't tell him everything, but when asked, I tell the truth. Except when I buy my son an $80 pair of shoes, I shave a few bucks off. Other than that I tell the truth. I know how you feel though. When he comes home if I hear squealing tires on the driveway or the door slams just right, I think, "Uh-oh. What did I do now?"
Is there anyone who has a husband...
like mine...he is an adult and acts like one, he respects what I do for a living, thanks me for working as hard as I do, would never expect me to do everything around the house without him helping out, and is generally a fabulous guy. Sounds like a lot of women are married to self-centered whiners who think THEIR job is the important one. I truly am blessed!
My husband...

I was going to post something similar to this...reading these threads about jerk husbands makes me sooo very grateful for mine. He's handsome, sexy, funny...works doggone hard for us so I can work PT, and still helps around the house in the evenings after work.  Guess that's why I've kept him for 20 years---today!!!


Oh, did I mention he's the bestest dad ever (as our DS puts it)...I could go on and on, but I won't...I am sorry for those who are not blessed with a wonderful man, it truly is a gift!


why the MIL and not your husband?
You are going after the wrong person. Your husband should be beside you all the way 100%. It is his job to talk/deal with his family. If he doesn't or won't, you've got a bigger problem with him than with the outlaws.
Your husband should say something
You are to cleave to husband and wife.  If the MIL is not going to handle the situation your husband should definately stand up for you and say if you dont show some respect to my wife stay away.  I have a SIL that does not like me either because she married into the family first and thinks I stole some of her thunder, but thank goodness my husband stands up for me.  The MIL probably wants to keep peace that is how mine is, so I would talk to your husband about getting the situation resolved.  Some people can be so dumb to act that way.  Good luck, hope things get better. 
What did your husband say about it?
xx
ex-husband

Well, Pammy,


I think you would fit right in with me and my friends' "board."  We meet once a week and "discuss things."  We all share the blessing of an ex-husband except one.  Maybe ex is just so blissfully happy he forgot to tell you, or maybe he is just TOO CHICKEN - you think.  In any case, the "board" meets tomorrow night.  I'll be thinking of you.


LOL! My husband said she was just doing her job. It was probably on sm
the paper! LOL