Yes, I'd say it is sibling jealousy - sm
Posted By: Laura E. on 2007-06-25
In Reply to: Normal or not? Son saying he hates h is sister (sm) - Just Mom
I am going through something similar but for different reasons. Jess, my 8, soon to be 9-y/o, is very jealous of her younger sister who is 7, and in the last 2 years since her cancer diagnosis and treatment, etc. Jen has gotten an inordinate amount of attention due to her illness, i.e. Gifts, cards, comments, etc. She also has the most beautiful hair which grew back almost the same color (it was very bright red before) but even more beautiful than before, now it has a lot of blond highlights in it and everyone always comments on how pretty her hair is, etc. and it makes my other daughter feel bad to say the least. She on the other hand is very beautiful too with very pretty hair too though brunette with blond and red highlights, nice bod and will knock them dead in a few years, and also very smart, a lot smarter than her younger sister is-- read earlier, great speller and writer, understood math sooner, etc. BUT she is so jealous of her and has been saying lately she hates her and we try to give her one on one time but that is hard to do as it's usually just me all day/night with them and my DH has been traveling a lot for work lately, so it can't just leave one and go off with the other. I know she does not really mean it. They do love each other a lot and usually get along quite well. So when she feels out of sorts I try to give her 10 minutes of my time for some girl talk and 100% of my attention while her sister is doing something else in the house. So lately I have taken to going to her bedroom when she is going to bed for a little chat, just the 2 of us. She really likes that and Jen doesn't mind in the least that I do this, so that is good. She gets more of my time since my older one holes herself up in her room a lot and plays her DS Lite. I also try to take them out 2 x a week now during the Summer and do something fun together and they always have a blast too (did King Dominion water park today), I think that helps a lot in providing happy sisterly feelings in our case.
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Sibling abuse
I picked up my 6-YO grandson today to bring him to my house for the weekend. When I got there I could tell he'd been crying and had a puffy bottom lip. He showed me where he had a missing tooth and said his 8 1/2-YO half brother (not my grandson) knocked it out. His mom sits on the couch and says nothing to dispute it, so I'm sure it's true. This brother is also his babysitter after school until mom and step-dad get home.
Not too long ago DHS was involved and step-dad was charged with abusing my grandson. Of course they always try counseling first before thinking about removing a child from the home.
I constantly worry about the environment he is in as I've seen the way older brother treats him, but never anything quite like this. At what point is it considered sibling abuse as opposed to normal fighting that brothers might do. Is this something I should report to DHS?
p.s. His mom is just beginning to speak to me again. She blames me for the last DHS thing even though I wasn't the one who reported it (only because I didn't know about it). Once I heard about it, I did go make a report about neglect that I'd observed. Then they were conveniently busy for the next 5 weekends so I couldn't see my grandson. It's a long story, but there is nothing in writing about visitation. I have pretty much had visitation with him every other weekend for the last six years.
What to do.
Sibling abuse
They're home alone 2 to 3 hours before parents get home. Parents are trying to save money, which is the only important thing to them. I agree entirely that he is too young.
The thing is, parents were home today when this happened. They were probably just getting up. They do not get out of bed before 10 on the weekend, even though kids are up at 6 or 7. I pick my grandson up at 10, and he has not had breakfast yet. This is the norm.
You may have to report it but not as sibling abuse (sm)
Child abuse and neglect by the parents that BOTH children live with. The 8 year old doesn't need to be punished, they both need to be taken care of. The thing is, as you know DHS is not always going to fix the problem and if the mother finds out it was you, she will probably not let you see your GS again. That is a problem. I am not sure. Does your son have any type of rights to visitation, etc? Can he not go to court and say that his child is not being taken care of appropriately? Where is the older child's father?
The family is great towards me, some jealousy...
from one SIL, but hardly ever see her. My problem is with my stepdaughters, who really dislike me. Neither one calls the house, of course they only call once or twice a year,and only call him when they know he is at work. One more year of child support until she turns 21 then we won't hear from her either like her older sister. Funny how when the money stops so do phone calls!
Update on jealousy/stepkids...
Okay, the man in my life with the kids did not come home until 5:30 this morning and at 5:32 AM I was telling him that I had taken all the disrespect from him and his kids that I was going to take and that we were going to have to just end this relationship.
Don't know how long I can stick to it - but he's gone for now. And ya know what? I just feel like a weight has been lifted off my chest...
aww, sweetie, don't get your big panties in a wad..sounds like jealousy to me!
....
Normal. I think jealousy is involved & also that his hormones are starting
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