Yep! Sounds like TMJ. I wake up with the sides of my tongue...

sore because my jaw clamps down on my tongue and sores on my cheeks from biting them.  I would also have an aching jaw for weeks at a time that required mountains of Motrin and muscle relaxers.  I finally went to the dentist and now have an acrylic mouthguard I wear at night.  I hated it at first, but boy does my jaw feel better.  No more aching, no more trouble chewing, no more sores on my cheeks and tongue!  Cost me $300 for the mouthguard cause my insurance wouldn't pay, but it was worth every penny!

Go to your dentist!

• Has anyone every been awakened suddenly after biting your tongue in your sleep? SM - OUCH!
  • I have suffered from TMJ for many years. sm - trose
  • Yep! Sounds like TMJ. I wake up with the sides of my tongue... - MissouriMT

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First of all I think there's another option that neither you or your sister are seeing, home health aide.  Look into it re: insurance etc.  I can see where both of you are coming from.  I don't know your sister's financial situation or how far she has to drive to see your father.  I think that she probably feels she is working hard to earn her paid time off but if she has to use it all to take "everybody" to the doctor what will happen if she needs to go to the doctor herself or wants to take time off for a vacation or mental health day.  You have to admit she has a point. 

My advice would be not to alienate your sister.  You are going to have to work together to take care of your father.  I would arrange a time for both of you to sit with your father and lay out the facts.  With little to no eyesight, he simply cannot live completely independently any longer.  If he wants to stay at home then either hire a home health aide or a live-in caregiver or one of you would have to move in with him.  Avoid the word nursing home and instead suggest an independent living facility where there is assistance with daily activities such as preparing meals.  Be open and honest with each other.  You have your own separate lives and not only do you not want your father to feel like he is a burden, you also do not want to feel burdened.  With the cost of gas these days, your sister certainly has a valid point.  As far as her popping to Wal-Mart and the mall, she could have perfectly viable reasons for going to Wal-Mart including grocery shopping or perhaps purchasing your father's medications there on their $4 plan.  The mall may be her escape mechanism. 

You both sound stressed out over this situation and you both need to take care of yourselves first and foremost before you can be expected to care for someone else.  Good luck to both of you and remember that you both love each other and your father and only want the best for everyone.

I have 3 boys.  My oldest son is very giving and caring (sounds like your daughter).  He's been bullied a few times.  Different responses apply to each individual bully.  Some bullies can be dealt with best by the school or their parents.  These are usually the kids who come from good homes and their parents don't always know what happens when they're not around.  I generally deal with the parents if they're level-headed.  If not, I go straight to the school. 

Other bullies come from parents who don't give a darn what they do.  These kids are the hardest to deal with.  I have had to face these bullies myself.  I flat out told them if they continue to pick on my son or bully him, I will call the police and they will be dealt with as a juvenile deliquent.  This seemed to stop things pretty quick.  I also followed that up with the letting school know what was going on because I had a feeling the child might pick on my son when I'm not there.  The school was great about this and were well aware of this bully's behavior.  It alerted them to keep a closer watch on my son at recess when this kid was around. 

The other side of the fence is my 7-year-old son.  I had gotten a call from his teacher early in the school year that he was bullying a couple of smaller kids.  My son had a late birthday, so I held him for kindergarten, making him a year older than most of his peers.  There didn't seem to be any problem in kindergarten, but by first grade, he realized that he was bigger than most and could use this to his advantage.  From that first call I got from his teacher, I made it very clear to him that I would not tolerate bullying from him.  I also told him the school would be watching him and if I hear any reports of him bullying others, I would punish him at home as well.  Other than a few minor kid things, he's been pretty great.  I even explained to him that because he was bigger than the little kids, he needed to protect them and watch over them like a big brother.  He's come home a couple of times and told me how some older kids were picking on his friends and he stepped up and told them to knock it off.  I was very proud of him and needless to say, he has a lot of "girlfriends" now. 

My point here is that not all parents know what their kids are like outside of the home.  It's very possible this girl's mother had no idea.  Unfortunately, she was already hurt and angry when you talked to her and it probably didn't help things.  I would suggest sticking with the teacher from now on with this one, and in the future, bring any problems immediately to the teacher's attention or the parents (depending on their temperament and how well you know them).  Most importantly, I have also taught my children to stand up for themselves, use a firm voice, but walk away if it's just words and we'll deal with it together.  The only time I allow my children to hit is if they're being physically hit and the other child won't stop.  Our school has a zero tolerance for fighting, and it just wouldn't be worth getting expelled otherwise. 

Hang in there.  She's only 8 -- the really bullying starts in the teen years (I'm remembering mine), not being popular enough or having money or wearing cool clothes or being too smart or not thin enough.  It goes on and on.  In that case, I'm glad I have boys.  They get less catty as they get older (I hope).

He has been bullied before but he has gotten really good at standing up for himself.  I literally have given him comebacks that he can use if he is being verbally bullied, and have told him that while he is never allowed to start a fight he is always allowed to defend himself and even though he may get in trouble at school, he will not be in trouble at home.

One time last year (fifth grade) he was verbally bullying a boy in his class.  He said some pretty mean things.  I got the phone number to the boy's house through a mutual friend, called, and then too my son to the boy's house to apologize in person, in front of the boy's parents.  We talked for a long time beforehand about how the boy must feel to have to go to school and have someone say things like that to him, role-playing such as "how would you feel if that was you" sort of thing. He also lost computer priveleges for a week.  He has never bullied anyone else.

However, he did kick a boy in the shin earlier this year when the boy hit him and said he was going to beat him up.  My son is strong but doesn't like to fight.  I think all kids should be able defend themselves if needed though.

I've told our 16-year-old now junior in high school that she can set her alarm clock and get herself up in the morning and out the door for school, on time, this year, and if she fails to get up on time and is late for school she will lose privileges with them increasing for each time she is late.  

What about your kids?  How old are they?  Are they responsible for getting themselves up in the morning and if so, at what age did they start doing this? 

I, too, live in a very rural area -- farming community just like yours.  My husband was working late that night and I was home alone with the kids.  My road isn't quite a dead end, but it doesn't get traveled often since it turns into a dirt lane and there's no winter maintenance on it.  I never really heard much traffic that night.  I did hear a few gunshots, but just figured it was my goofy neighbor shooting target practice.  He does that all the time.  The next morning as I pulled onto the main road (about 2 miles from my house), I noticed an ambulance heading in.  No sirens or lights.  I thought it was rather odd since there's no firehouse on that road.  I went to work that day and thought nothing of it. 

I came home from work that night and noticed a state police car coming out of my road, but didn't pay it much attention.  When I got home, my answering machine was lit up like the 4th of July.  My phone was ringing as I walked in.  Everyone wanted to know what was going on on my lane.  I had no clue but didn't have time to ask any questions b/c someone was knocking on my door.  I hung up the phone and answered the door to a state trooper wanting to ask me some questions. 

He wanted to know if I noticed anything unusual last night.  I said no.  Any traffic?  Not more than usual.  Any loud noises?  Just my neighbor shooting his guns.  What time was that?  About 9:30 or 10:00.  That's where the story gets interesting.

Apparently 2 vehicles met at the top of my lane for a drug deal that went seriously wrong.  The one couple shot the other couple and left them for dead.  They then proceeded back down my lane and up the road about a mile where the girl stopped at my friend's house to use the phone.  Not knowing her, they didn't let her in but brought the phone outside for them to use.  After using the phone, they sped off down the road.  The next morning, some hunters found the dead couple and called 911. 

This all happened just 2 days after Christmas.  Needless to say, I lost my sitter for New Year's that year.  I agree about locking your doors, but more than anything I believe your dogs saved your life.  I'm not an animal lover, but I sure do love my dog.  She barks anytime someone comes on our property.  She's not mean (a retriever/lab mix) but she is very alert.  She's the best security system out there. 

Hang in there.  It sounds to like you are doing everything right.  I totally agree that kids are under too much pressure these days and that they certainly need to be given more time to just be kids.  Being a single mom I try make sure that my children grow up to be responsible adults with good morals and values, but I also make sure that they have their space so they have a chance to make their own choices (when possible) and see the consequences of those choices.  Being a parent is certainly not easy and doing it in today's society is stressful to say the least. 

As for your neighbor, I think she could take some lessons from you.  Good luck and keep your chin up!!! 

Apparently the so-called lawyer owns a business called Hot Lips Smoochy or something like that and has never tried any cases at all.  He is apparently the executor of her estate.  Now isn't that convenient?  He tells the photographer Daddy that she lost the baby, but she winds up having a baby anyway 9 months later.  The photographer breaks it off with her because she is drinking while pregnant.  Oh my, the gossip.  She looks like she's all drugged-up on any interviews I've seen, and I saw one last night from 3 days before her death.  She is wearing dark glasses for the first part (inside), and they go outside, and she takes the glasses off.  Makes no sense.  I don't know, but what does Granny want with the baby now?  That poor baby!  So many Daddies??????  I have never seen men trying to prove they ARE the father in all of my life?  Twists and turns this story has, which I'm sure has the producers in Hollywood salivating.  There will be books and there will be moves.  Life happens, I guess.