Years ago when I was still married the same thing happened to me. My
Posted By: S/M on 2009-02-23
In Reply to: MYOB? - Dinosaur
ex husband's friend was cheating on his wife. They used to go to his cabin in the woods where he went deer hunting. This guy would use us an excuse and both he and his mistress would park their cars in our driveway. Used to really get me in a mood when I came home and there was no place to park because they were in our driveway. With me it's all water under the bridge because we have been divorced for many years, but to be honest it was one of the things that did it for me. My husband and I had a very different view on moral issues. Seems the longer I was with him the more apparent that became. I refuse to have that going on in my house. To make matters worse, my ex's friend once divorced and was married again to the same woman, still cheating on her. She is a lovely woman and probably to this day loves him and never found out.
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- MYOB? - Dinosaur
- Years ago when I was still married the same thing happened to me. My - S/M
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Same thing just happened to my mom.
This guy she goes to is expensive, and very good when he pays attention, but this is at least the second time he cut her hair way too short, so now he's losing her as a customer. She hates to complain, but I urged her last time to let him know, and she pointed out that it was 11 weeks before she needed another haircut, and he seemed horrified that time. But now he did it again (time has passed in between). Why don't they give a 4-week haircut so they see their clients sooner and make more money instead of less? So dumb. He needs more clients, not fewer.
You know, the same thing happened to me
when I left home and it hurt my feelings my mother would have done that. I never went to her home to visit but what I called to let her know in case she would not be at home, etc. I made sure that my kids (once grown and on their own) have keys to my home. It is my feeling that if something should go wrong, say injured on a trip or something, someone would have the keys to get in, who better than them? I am not saying you should not have them, after all your home and you can do what you want, just saying my feelings were hurt. I was not 16 either so that would factor into how I would feel.
same thing happened to me
When I first started dating again, over 4 years ago, the first several guys I dated all liked me and wanted to have more dates, etc. . I felt no attraction for them though. . I just didn't feel like I should waste their time or mine when I knew it was not going anywhere. . Now, I'm engaged to a great guy and we are getting married this year. . At the time of those first dates, it was tempting to just keep going out with them, just for the company and they were all very nice guys, but just no attraction. . Good luck!
same thing happened to my son sm
coming out of a Denny's restaurant last 4th of July! Myself and my daughter-in-law were behind him and happened to notice he had a "tail" coming out of his jeans! We got tickled but had to "stifle" so we could tell him. We got out in the parking lot and all three of us roared with laughter. I really wanted to get my camera out of my purse and snap that shot. He would have taken it all in stride and probably taken it to the fire department where he is a firefigher and they would have all had a good laugh! Poor guy!
they could die out in 2 years -happened to me
I rarely shut down my computers but I ALWAYS shut off the monitor when I''m done working. Shutting off the monitor saves the life of the monitor. 
This happened at my job about 12 years ago.
Luckily, I was a single mom at the time and waitressing part-time. On the one day a week I was designated off, I usually would pick up an extra shift or two at the restaurant if I wanted. Sometimes I enjoyed the day off to get my "chores" done.
Same thing happened to mine......sm
It was early last year when one of our males disappeared for about 2 days. He had never done this before. When he came home, he just kept meowing loudly and just sat in the floor and cried and cried. He looked horrible. We took him to the vet and his BUN and creatinine were so far off the charts, the vet didn't know how he was still alive. He said if this were a person, he would be in a coma. He had complete kidney failure. They kept him overnight, put IV's in him, flushed him, because he had crystals forming where he urinated, and the next morning the vet called and said he couldn't believe it, but he was still alive and seemed to be feeling better. He was actually eating a little and drinking water, which was what he needed. He was horribly dehydrated. This was a VERY healthy cat before this happened. He said it was not uncommon for males to have this happen suddenly without warning. He was eating wet food before but so were the others. It took a long time for him to return to a healthy weight...he lost a lot of hair from his chest up and looked horrible. He was a silver kitty before and but his hair came back darker. He got in some strange habit when he got sick like wanting to drink out of the faucet in the sink, wouldn't leave my son's bathroom, sat on the back of the toilet all day and called for me to come see him...weird behavior. He seems to be doing fine now, but he still drinks a lot of water (out of the sink) and has become much more loving. We're not sure how he lived through it either and the vet was amazed. We're not sure what caused it, if anything, other than his own urinary system went haywire.
Exact thing happened to me .. sm
but it was not a family member, it was a coworker of my ex-husband's whose wife had just had a baby and they wanted clean carpets. He had borrowed the cleaner once previously, and all was fine, so I had no problems with letting him borrow it a second time. Well, the second time, he was really slow in returning it, but like you, I never said anything until I wanted to use it and asked for it back. Then all of a sudden, it was *broke*. He said he had broken the upright handle completely off. Well, I had paid over 300 dollars for that, so we asked him to at least pay for half of replacement. He did so, but HE wanted to choose what type of cleaner I got to replace it, which was a much cheaper model. I said no. Needless to say, we were no longer friends after that. In my opinion, you just can't let this go. Carpet shampooers are not cheap and if she broke it, she should pay for at least half of a replacement. Tell her that. She knows she is responsible for it, but she will probably become angry, so it is up to you how far you want to push it. Again, though, I do not loan out anything like that to anyone any more. If they need to clean their carpets, they can pay for a rental unit, just like I did prior to buying my own. No one takes care of your items better than you. Good luck to you.
The best thing that happened to me today?
I woke up to another day.
Same thing happened to me and speaking from
experience - go see a doctor. I have peripheral vascular disease and being an MT was the worst profession because of sitting for long periods. I am not out of the business and haven't had any leg swelling, since I'm up walking around more. I had to wear prescription hose, and they were very uncomfortable. For a profession that has no medical benefits - the bad outweighed the good and I decided to get out. My legs thank me. They also don't ache like they used to. Get to a doctor and don't listen to salt intake, etc especially since putting your feet up helps. That's not caused by extra water - is a circlatory problem. Good luck!
Adam best thing that ever happened to AI
Let's face it, the show's seen better days. It was fading, then along came Adam. I for one would not be watching this season if not for him. I'm sick and tired of American Idols' antics, yet Adam keeps me coming back. Next year I'm done.
I have been married almost 20 years
and have a very good relationship with my in-laws. My MIL is not my "best friend" but we are close. It is the little things she does that drive me crazy, but also make me love her as well. DH has 1 sister and she is a wonderful person. We are very different and if we were not related we would most likely not be "good friends" but due to our circumstances we have become very close. We vacation together and if not careful can talk for hours on the phone. I have been very blessed with my family. The same goes for my family, they adore my DH. Have always said "If you two ever divorce, "K" can come home. LOL
I'm not - been married 13 years and still (sm)
act like I'm a visitor who they just allow to hang around. MIL is the queen bee and gets to host every event. On mother's day, she is always the guest of honor, even though I am the one still raising children. So many things I could say..but I'll stop now.
Have been married a little over 20 years and
couldn't be happier. We knew after just a month of dating that we wanted to spend the rest of our lives together. We married a year later and have never had any major problems what-so-ever. We renewed our vows at 10 years (just the two of us at a small chapel) and then at 20 years did the same thing but included our children. This man is truely a gift from God. He does not have a temper, he has incredible patience, and is a wonderful father. I just wished he liked yardwork a little more. LOL!
Married, none in probably 2 years or more. NM
,
we have been married 7 years, together for 12
it hasn't always been like this. I just feel that she does not have to like me, i could care less, but if she is going to come to my house she should at least respect me in my house!!
Been married 29 years..............
First, depends on your hubby. Before your anniversary rolled around, is he the type that typically remembers important dates, i.e., birthdays (your birthday, mom's, dad's, etc.?) If not, then he may just be one of those guys that needs to be "informed" a little before those important dates, so as to refresh his memory.
Any reason to believe he isn't happy married to you? What if he really does have something planned for you and is waiting until after he gets off work? When he comes home, I would see if anything has changed. If you have something to give him, then hand it over and see where it goes from there. Are you planning a nice meal or something special? Even if he just flat out forgot, chances are he is going to feel terrible when you refresh his memory and HE SHOULD! And he should offer to make it up to you.....then I'd let him off the hook....this one time!
Try not to worry all day. I know your feelings are hurt and for good reason but see how things go when he comes homes from work. Just don't completely let him off the hook. If you do now, then he will no doubt continue and I find that disrespectful. Sometimes wives just have to teach their husbands SOME things just will not go unattended!!
19 years, married x 28
x
yep, alive and well. Married almost 29 years now. nm
Ten years difference here, been married
for 7 years, his first and my eeks, 4th but this is the last, I promise...
I've been married 20 years, and
I can usually figure out a way to motivate mine. He does take after his stubborn mother, but ve haff vays, hehehehe.
Happily married for over 20 years.
aklfjlajfljfdlaj
I was married to one for twelve years!
And, yes, I got out. I knew something was very wrong when I was fresh from a sprained ankle, hobbling in the kitchen making lunch on crutches, soothing my hungry 3 year old, and the phone rang. My husband, sitting in the easy chair five feet away from the phone in the living room, yelled for me to pick it up. I blew up, yelled a lot, stormed (as much as I could on crutches) outside. Eventually he came out to berate me, asked me why I was so angry and - would you believe it -
I DIDN'T KNOW !!!.
We still stayed married three years after that, but it gave me the impetus to think. He was (is, I guess) an alcoholic but had stopped drinking by then, and I couldn't figure out why I still didn't like him! Everything was about him. Any argument got turned around so that I was the one being unreasonable. I thank God to this day, twenty-five years later, that He gave me the strength to get out. I've been married, now, for twenty years to a completely different man, and have never had a nanosecond of regret! Life CAN be better! (incidentally, he's been married and divorced twice since us - Just can't seem to figure out what he's doing wrong, I guess).
Have been married to close to 10 years
and what in the world are you talking about that a relationship requires work? My hubby and I really mesh together wonderfully and I work at my job, but at my marriage?? We love each other, respect each other, care about each other and I am puzzled by the having to work at a marriage....What is hard about a marriage?
When I got married the first time (years ago!!) sm
I asked a very close friend that I could not have as a bridesmaid monitor my guest book - and I have no idea what happened to that book!! I would say it was nice that you were asked - it is a little bit of an honor if you will - but this late you are obviously a replacement for someone who may have had an emergency or something - and the bride will jsut have to accept your dress or ask someone else as you are out of town and don't have the time or money to purchase another dress at this point. Tell her thank you - you are honored - but you will have to pass???
Married 23 years. Never an invite to anything from
siblings in-law. DH's three sibs go on vacation together, hang out, etc. MIL has always been a scared little rabbit, afraid of every part of life, and worries that the breeze might change direction, or that the world may come to an end. Both are equally horrendous events in her eyes.
We'd only all get together when I invited anyone over. Now that I've stopped, I never see them. FIL, who was a really nice guy, died last November. I haven't seen any of the sib-in-laws since then. I see MIL when she needs something, because the other three barely pitch to help their old mother. I'm sure that when she dies, we'll never see DH's siblings ever.
We've been married for 22 years and
I've had my own checking account for the last 15. It is so much easier, IMO. In fact, he just recently opened his own separate checking account over the summer. So we have our joint account, which I rarely touch, and we each have our own.
And I agree that Christmas is for everyone. I'm as bad as the kids on Chrismtas Eve, as far as not being able to sleep. It's my favorite holiday. We get to see my whole family and DH's whole family and spend time together. Love it. In fact, it's my year to cook dinner for DH's family and I'm so excited.
I've been married 21 years.
I really think God picked us for each other, and that happiness will not be found with another as long as we both shall live.
It's not that we never squabble or fuss or have the occasional day where we almost pretend the other doesn't exist. But I know that the only other person I could stand to spend this much time with would be my twin sister. These are the only 2 people I can be completely open with, be myself with. When it's good, it's really great.
We have furkids only.
I've been married 13 years and
I would never allow my husband to tell me who I can and cannot see. If I were you, I wouldn't bring it up to him until closer to her visit. As you said, who is he to say where your sister can and cannot go. As the time approaches, a week or so in advance, I would simply tell him that your sis will be in town next week and you are planning on seeing her. If he throws a fit, let him. It seems to me, he gets away with this because you let him.
If the situation arises where he becomes intolerable, perhaps you could spend the night at sis's hotel room catching up. Let him stay home. It's his loss, but it doesn't have to be yours as well.
You've been married 15 years
and you've put up with it for 15 years. There's really no reason for him to change, is there? You've allowed him to do this to you.
Sorry to be so blunt.
No, married 8 years and counting and
my husband has not even raised a finger to me, much less tried to hit me. We have never had an argument, really. I tell him my opinion and he says, don’t I have anything to say in this and I tell him no, my opinion is the only one that counts around here and he says, oh.. That is the end of that, hehe. We are like a couple of love birds. This marriage has been wonderful.
Been married 21 years (soon to be 22). His hug alone rejuvenates me. sm
Being able to carry on a conversation with him is great. Sometimes we are thinking the same thing, and then it just kind of comes out. We smile/laugh and then continue talking about it. We have 3 kids ranging from 10 to 21. We have definitely had our ups and downs (whoa buddy those early years!). I know this will offend some and sorry......... but nothing more fun than when I am cooking dinner (or he is for that matter) and he walks up behind me and grabs me and says I love you (and nope not to have sex..just because). I know to some that is offensive, but I don't look at it that way. We actually decided this weekend to start giving ourselves a couple of hours alone away from the kids. First time in a very long time. We took the kids out to dinner on Valentines as a family and then later we went to another restaurant and just sat in the bar and had 1 margarita each and talked. Thoroughly enjoyed it!
Love can last a very, very long time. Takes a little work, a little patience....and whatever else needs to be thrown in the mix to make it work.
Have a wonderful week everyone!
Met in a bar, married 2 weeks later, 31 years ago.
And still happy for the most part!
I feel the same, though married now 13 years - sm
years ago my DH made me promise to wait until the kids were 18 to remarry. I promised as (1) remarring would not be high on my priority list especially if the kids were young (2) I don't know if I'd want to give up my new found freedom when I do eventually become a widow (in theory, he is 7 years older). We have our ups and downs and I would miss him but I certainly would not be in any hurry to replace him. Funny how most men run out and remarry fast though, and most women don't. I know some women just have to have a man but I think I would be quite content later in life to be on my own.
Same thing happened to me plus they asked for a contribution to the honeymoon!
My husband's cousin's daughter was married in New York City. We traveled from Virginia for this wedding. The bride and groom barely spoke to our table, just came by to say hello and collect the envelopes. Six months later all we received was a picture card (same as the ones we receive at Christmas) with "Thank you for your gift. John and Jane" printed on the bottom. No "Dear Lois and Louie" written at the top, nada. Needless to say we will not be attending another wedding for this family. I was shaking my head after receiving this. I guess we were supposed to be grateful that she invited us at all?
This has happened for years and years, where have you been?
Frank Sinatra, Elvis, the Beatles, and on and on. This person is acting very normal like the age she is. You would have to have been under a rock to think differently, like this was an abnormal behavior....
I used to let it slide, but I've been married 23 years.
Probably about year 5 or so, when we had children and she felt it necessary to comment on my mothering, I finally just gave it right back to her. She has four children, and the only one who turned out well was my husband, and I'm quite sure it's because he spent a lot of time away from home when he was growing up.
She lives just down the street, and now that we know where we stand, we have no problems.
DH and I are polar opposites and married for 24 years.
On our very first date, we went to a party held at the apartment of one of his friends. We got there, and all he wanted to do was sit and watch what was going on. He didn't socialize, barely talked and seemed completely uncomfortable. I was irritated and went off to meet people and dance and have a good time. He took me home, told me he had a nice time (I wondered how), and he kissed me goodnight very sweetly with his thumbs sort of hooked into his pockets like a cowboy. He didn't even embrace me, but somehow he made an impression. To this day, I tell everyone that it was THE worst first date I have ever been on, and yet here we've been married all this time.
At first we tried to compromise and do things together, and just as you say, there was always one of us not really having a good time. We'd both end up resenting each other and would think, "If he/she really loved me, he/she would want to be part of my world and share my interests." My husband is an introvert, but he does have his interests. He's a runner; a serious competitive runner at the age of 50. He's good at it, and he loves it. He's very involved in his track club. I'm proud of him, but for me it's dead boring to drive for hours and then sit next to a track all day waiting for him to run a 2-minute race.
By the same token, I love being outdoors. Hubby is NOT an outdoor kind of guy. He hates camping. I love backpacking. He's afraid to be out of his comfort zone. I like trying new things. He's afraid of animals. I think it's a great day when I see a bear or a snake along the trail.
After a few years of compromising, we just decided to do our own thing and support each other. We don't take long vacations together anymore, but we do get away for romantic weekends or have quiet dates now and then.
What we came to realize is that we see each other every day. We like our home life together. We enjoy that. Our separate interests only take a fraction of our lives together, so we pursue those on our own, then come back and enjoy being together again. On any given weekend, he'll be running somewhere and I'll be hiking somewhere else. On Sunday evening, we're back together again for the rest of the week. Once or twice a year, we go away, but we go to separate places. He may be off running somewhere with his club while I'm home. Another week, he's at home and I'm out hiking on the Appalachian trail. We did this even when our children were small. I have to admit, it's much easier now that the kids are older. This past summer I drove to Wyoming from Philadelphia with our 18 year-old. Hubby didn't want to take that much time from work, but we talked every day, and he was excited to hear about our adventure.
So, even if you don't like the same things, it can be done. You just have to get past the idea that you're "supposed" to be together, or want to be together all the time. That's not necessarily so. I think that doing your own thing and supporting each other in your individuality actually makes each of you more interesting to the other. So, if you like going out with the girls, have fun. Tell him all about it when you get home. If he prefers to stay in and watch a movie, he can tell you about the movie, and when you're done sharing, you snuggle up and say, "I'm so glad we're together again." Enjoy your time together and make the most of that.
Been married 1-1/2 years...still 2-3 times DAILY and still very hot for us...
I dunno....started off just as intense physical attraction, moved to serious feelings, living together, marriage, and we still both want each other 2-3 times a day.
I don't know if we're just really lucky or really just freaks, lol!!!
My aunt married a guy 28 years older
than her with 4 children, 2 older than her. (his 1st wife died when their youngest was 4, 10 years previously). They were married for 37 years, had 2 kids of their own, and everything worked for them, marired until he died. She and his family got along great, her parents on the other hand, had a rough time dealing with it until their 1st child was born.
My son married girl 18 years younger..and
it's his third marriage and her second. He is around 18 years older than her. The problems you described started to show up in the second or third year, but they have gotten through that stage and they both now get along good and enjoy each other's differences...each one understanding and respecting the ways of the other and each one changing for the better. THis has been his longest relationship...six years. And they have similar interests and have fun together and are fun to be around.
Same here. Married 25 years and it does not feel like work.
Perhaps we do work at it, and it just doesn't feel like it. But, I also have to say that both my husband and I are very independent, self-confident people. Even when we were dating, we did not feel the need to be with each other 24/7. We have very separate interests and pursue them to the point of even taking separate vacations at times. Early on we saw no reason to "compromise" and be only partially happy with what we were doing. There are certainly things that we enjoy doing together, but just not everything. We also decided early on to compartmentalize our lives and give certainly responsibilities 100% to the other spouse. He handles the money 100%. I handled the kids and the house 100%. That included delegation! So if I needed hubby to pitch in and do laundry, dishes, etc. That would happen. If he needed me to help with something that usually fell under this area of responsibility, I did it. I suppose that part is the compromise, but it doesn't feel like it.
We have friends who have been married just as long as we have, and I don't know how they stand marriage! Everything they do is together. They can't decide on a color of paint for the wall without big discussions. One can't go to bed unless the other is ready for bed, as well. That sort of thing would suffocate me and my husband. I suppose we're well matched, and so we're lucky.
The same thing happened with Skating with the Stars between Lloyd Eisler &
when Eisler's wife was 8 month's pregnant in Canada. What a couple of selfish people.
I was married for 13 years and 2 years
after my divorce I met the most incredible man. He was also divorced, we both have 2 kids, and though we are not married, we have been together for 9 years. They are still out there, you may have to go through a few marginal ones before you find him, but they are out there and available.
I'm 36, married 5 years, and still can't decide. I wish I had an answer for ya. But you're
x
I'm 20 months older than my hubby, married 23 years so far! -nm
x
Going to be 29 years in May, married as kids(!), it depends on what shifts we are working/overtime,
All in all, three kids later, it is "whenever," sometimes frequent, sometimes just being able to snuggle and be lone together is what we need!
A couple years ago I asked about the same thing - sm
it my case it turned out to be the dog food. Maggie was on Purina One, I switched her to Wellness a good quality dogfood, and presto no more smell. So if the dog has always been stinky the dogfood may be to blame.
I married the same man 3 times and still married to him.
Together for almost 29 years now.
Happiness is a heart thing; pleasure is a head thing.nm
My husband is 7.5 years younger. Been together almost 20 happy years...nm
nm
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