Yeah, stay out of that family debt deal, if ya can. :) nm
Posted By: Tried on 2009-06-15
In Reply to: Disregard this question (sm) - House person
nm
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Do you have any family or friends you can stay with? I do not
know where you are, but there are many options for battered women (both physically and mentally) and I can help guide you on who to get in touch with in your area if you give me an area to look. PLEASE feel free to e-mail and I will help if I can. I do remember your posts from awhile ago and I was thinking then that the situation was going nowhere but worse, so please think of your sanity and the fact that what is going on in that house is DEFINITELY spilling over onto the children.
Most of her stories should stay in her family
just nutsy. Having the ability to breastfeed makes absolutely no difference in how a child turns out, the upbringing does and this entire family just sounds bonkers. I am really loving the posts about bringing drinks to the team, HA and point and shoot like machine guns, HA, HA.. Great posts you all.....
LOL, yeah sometimes you *do things like that for family*...
x
Family is great but I am never back in my hometown where family is... So I always have extended fami
You can always pick your friends your stuck with your family. An Xmas for me is where my husband and kids come home to. It is what you make it!
Summer. Friends or family? Family. Tired or Awake?
x
Might do that one day, but have some debt to get rid of first - sm
So putting out $6500 for a TT will have to wait; in a year I may be able to think about it, then save up the $$$ for it. I have done some research into this and know I first have to lose the weight and be stable at my goal weight for a while before I can have that done if I want to do this right. Guess I will just have to wait and see just how bad it looks after I shed the 70+ pounds. Feeling good right now, just went outside did some yardwork that I usually never have time to do (really didn't now either but work can wait), felt good to be active for a change, though I must now sit on my big butt and work for the next 4-6 hour! My thing is that I have to get more physically active, sit way too much!
Out of debt
Congratulations!!! Isn't it a wonderful feeling?
debt
I agree with transferring to 0% when the offers come. I have been doing that for years. Now, I just got an offer for 6.99% for the life of balance up to 12,000 dollars. Going to take that offer, (we are going to remodel our main but small bathroom) and pay off 2 1/2 cc; then what is left over, oh, and going to give my hubby 1000 to get out bike out of shop, so, what ever is left over, which should be 6 to 7000, will redo bathroom, payments won't be bad, like 190 a month and don't use your cards for a good while, just steadily pay. Hope this helps, and life is too short to stress over bills. Keep them in mind but at the same time, think of what you have. 
I am totally out of debt -
house, cars, motorcyles, credit cards. Everything!
It feels great!
Paying down debt
It is getting harder to make ends meet because of all the straws in our bank account. I have 17k in CC dept alone. It is with 4 different CC companies. One CC has $200, #2 has about 4K, #3 has about 2K, #4 has 10k. The 10K one has a 15 % APR, the others I believe range from 24% to 29% APR. My biggest monthly payment is my house and I owe only $4700 on it and it has 6.3% APR. I sold some things and am getting $5K and that will be enough to pay off my house. I would love to finally, officialy own this house and get rid of that $350 monthly pmt, but I wonder if I should not pay down on the CC because of the high interest rates. Any opinions. TIA.
Paying Down Debt
I feel you, believe me. First, Bravo to you for facing this. That's the hardest part. I think if you are so close to paying off your house, you wouldn't want to take out yet another loan against it. Additionally, the interest rates aren't that great. What is the total of payments you are making on your credit cards? If you can slap that 5000.00 on your debt first on all of the higher interest ones perhaps paying some of them off. That will free up extra money to put on the rest of your credit cards. Then once the credit cards are paid off, you can then work on the mortgage (I WISH I had your mortgage..). Also we work in an industry where it is easy to pick up extra work---have you thought of that just to get extra money to pay off the debt? That's what I'm trying to do. Things are just so bad right now. Good luck, hope this helps...
credit debt
Wow thanks for all the good tips.
As this got off the subject and onto other things, I just wanted to say I have heard Al-Anon is excellent for people dealing with alcoholism in a spouse or other loved one. It might be a great place for support for you and your kids. Just a thought.
Well, the only debt we have is our house...
so I would put it towards the principal on our mortgage.
Did you go into debt over the holidays?
C'mon, fess up!
Did you use credit to buy things for the holidays, or did you pay in cash?
I'm happy to report that for the 13th year, we paid in cash.
Big difference between family values and family jewels, eh? lol
LOL. I love this show. I think Gene and Shannon and her sister are a riot! What characters. It really is amazing to me the kids seem so laid back and so normal. They seem like great kids.
Does your family still do the early Sunday dinner w/family?
s
credit card debt
Not sure what will happen, but I do wish you luck. Credit card debt is an unsecured type of debt. I don't know what more they can do to you other than a judgement. Not sure you can put that under a bankruptcy either once the judgement has been placed. I know a lawyer that handles a lot of bankruptcies -- did some work for him. He always asked his clients if late payments had gone to judgements. If they had not gone that far he was pleased about it. I guess it made things easier legally. Not really sure.
Completely out of debt today!
I have paid all of my big bills off and now only have the monthly ones. Need to pop a cork!
debt consolidation/relief
I'm seriously considering going with one of those debt relief companies to get myself out from under a mound of credit card debt. I feel like I'm drowning. Has anybody had any experience with these companies, good or bad?
Strive to become debt free...
yes, that means living on a budget, telling the kids (and yourself and your spouse) no to impulse buying and splurges. You really can live below your wage if you WANT to and it is better to do it before you HAVE to due to job loss, etc. We are debt free but our home, no car payments, all credit cards paid off, only have the utilities and food each month. It feels great not to write checks to anyone. My DH just finished his obligation of 700 a month child support (Yay!!) which means more towards the mortgage to pay it off sooner. We are content with what we have...too many Americans want it all and want it now, no matter what the price, just charge it or take out a loan for it...crazy!
Oops, should have been paying off a debt
/
Do your homework on debt collection (sm)
laws also - you just may have yourself a $1000 piece of paper in your hand.
Have you requested validation of this debt? If not, I would do that right away. Send it certified mail, return receipt requested. Depending on the age of the debt, I would be very careful about sending the canned "do not contact me letter." If the debt is not that old, that can sometimes trigger them to sue. I bet if you send the "please provide me with full validation (not verification that you have my name, address and soc. sec#) of this alleged debt. Short and sweet.
Before considering the CCCS or debt relief (sm)
places, first call the companies. If you haven't been charged off yet, most will work with you and have hardship programs. The accounts will likely be closed, but after 3-4 ontime payments they will "re-age" to show as current, will lower the interest rate so payments are lower and you will pay off over a 4-5 year period (in most cases, you can't use the cards as acct will be closed to further charges in exchange for drastic reduction in interest rate). Going with CCCS or similar, has the same effect as a BK, even worse, on your credit rating. The accounts will report as "closed, paying under debt management plan." While bankruptcy is an option I suppose, if you're a homeowner or have any assets, you'd have to file Chapt. 13 which will allow for some payback. I'd call the companies first and lay out your situation and see what they suggest. The credit industry is in a mess right now so they are willing to work with you if you're upfront and showing good faith.
Anyone ever use a debt settlement company - sm
like DebtAmerica or something like that, one that eliminates 30% or more of your balance owed, consolidates it and gets each cc to settle on an agreed amount, etc. I am thinking of going that route instead of CCCS company which is just a DMP (consolidates it but you still pay back every penny and interest). Either way you have a big black mark on your credit. I owe a substantial amount and this way I can probably be debt-free in 3-4 years instead of 8 years. I know they charge a fee, and you have to pay taxes on the settled amount but it will be a lot cheaper for me in the long run and I can afford it a lot better. So if anyone has gone this route, please give me your input and who you used and if you were happy with their service, etc. TIA! 
Why would you take vacations when you're in such debt?
The money for those planned vacations could be paid towards your credit card. If you're income in increasing soon, why not apply the increase to the bills until the debt is gone and then reward yourself with a nice vacation that you save up for?
If it is an old debt, I've been told that the place that
the court with the original document that you signed before they can get a judgment to garnish wages. Usually they can't come up with it if the account was taken out a long time ago. I would look into it a little maybe even just online. Try consumer affairs website. Good luck.
I know it's popular, but don't put unsecured debt on your home.
No way, never ever do that. It's a huge mistake, you could end up losing your home. The risk is too great.
credit card debt relief
Does anyone have any experience with those companies claiming to reduce debt by up to 70%, etc. ?? I'm drowning in debt. :(
Credit Card Debt Counseling
http://www.cccsatl.org/index.asp?_method=view&sc=43&cn=486&md=debtmanagement
Here's what you want to use... It is called Consumer Credit Counseling Services. They are legit. Now back when hubs and I did it about 15 years ago, there were no computers, per se, so we went on site to an office. I don't know what state you're in or if there is an office local to you, but it looks like you can do this online.
We did it, completed it, and it was great. However, they cut your credit cards up in front of you and put them in a huge jar (at least they did back then). Once you join, there are no more credit cards. What CCCS does is works with your creditors to reduce interest rates, payment size, etc. because they are networked. You then make one lump payment to CCCS and they disburse the money. They also take into consideration your income. I think that's what makes it all work. Also, this is what tells them how long it will take to pay off the debt. Just beware though that if you are "behind" on payments, sometimes certain creditors do not accept CCCS, so they may hassle you still and some just plain won't accept CCCS's offer.
Believe me, even though we are not late on payments, we had in the past 3 years so much personal stuff go on (sickness, death, etc.) that we have racked up some debt ourselves and may try CCCS again, as one card we have raised the rate to 33% interest because we have a high balance. We make regular payments.
All in all, it's a great plan and it does work, but you no longer have credit cards (they close the accounts), and you will have a "bad mark" but yet a good mark on your credit report for using CCCS. Check with them about that though, as I do not know the specifics. It is way better than bankruptcy...
Hope you find some relief soon! My thoughts are with you... I'm not judgemental because I've been there and done that.
Anyone ever been sued by a debt collection agency
My husband and I have an account which we feel we don't owe. We cancelled it within the amount of time we thought we had to cancel, but were later told the contract for services was not cancellable (a vacation timeshare). The original amount was only $1,000.
Since that time, the timeshare company has sold our "debt" to a third party collection agency, Apelles. They call at all hours and even on weekends. Since I have caller ID, most of the time I don't even answer. This morning, however, they called at 8:45 and woke up my kids. I was a little annoyed, to say the least, and I'm just wondering: Does anyone have any personal experience with this company. I'm thinking about sending a Cease and Desist letter, but I'm worried that that will trigger them to take me to court. Has anyone ever been sued by Apelles? I would think our amount is too small to be worth their time and that they would just try to sell it to another agency. Any thoughts?
Love him! We are debt free but the house....
on an income of around $100,000 a year. DH may be getting laid off in the coming months but we just refinanced to a great below 5% rate, all our credit cards are paid off, we have savings built up to see us through tough times and we don't really worry about what may come. Sure, our cars are a few years old but guess what, they drive just like brand new ones. We still eat out several times a week, we take a month long vacation every year and we are happy with the things we have. We buy what we want when we want, but we aren't slaves to the newest TV, cell phone, i-phone, etc.We have no one to impress and really don't care what others have. We have the peace of mind that we can go to bed every night without much worry, the phone doesn't ring nonstop from creditors and we can go to the mailbox and not cringe when the bills come in. The country is in this financial mess because of greed, plain and simple; fat cat greed, greedy consumers in this I have to have it NOW society, and most think the free ride is never going to end. Sad....
credit card debt lawsuit question
If there is anyone out there who has been sued and had a judgment placed for credit card debt....
What happens when you go to court?? I don't own a house and live week to week (part-time IC, not very supportive husband) so they can't get blood from a stone so to speak. But I was wondering if anyone has gone to court and what actually happens.
credit card debt lawsuit question
Anyway you can declare bankruptcy, chpt 7? I am going that route. :(
Do you have a lot of monies owed where bankruptcy is a real possibility?
I'm going through a similar time......talk about stress!!!!!!!
I posted back in late August about cc debt - sm
in response to someone else giving advice on what to do. I told you about how I had a ton of debt my DH knew nothing about, how I was afraid of him, etc. and that I just did not know how to tell him. I consulted a lawyer and got some insight and advise in case things went really bad when I did tell him. Well I finally bit the bullet and told him on Monday. He was off from work, kids were in school, I wrote a 4 page letter laying it all out. I went out in the LR and I asked him if he loved me and was happy in our marriage, I got yes's to both questions. Then I handed him the note (bawling at this point) and said I was going out for a little while and we would talk when I came back. He called me 10 minutes later, upset yes, but not nuts as I expected. We ended up talking for 2 hours. He was quite good about it which really surprised me, he was in shock though. Later last night after he got drunk not horribly so but enough, though he did not turn nasty. I had asked him not to drink but he ignored that, so as a result he broke down said a few things which I probably deserved, though he does not believe I was scared of him....denied ever threatening to kill me, said if he did he was kidding and it was his sick sense of humor. I told him I take all death threats seriously. But comes down to he does not want to divorce over it, for which I am happy and grateful, and I think this will ultimately help us. We are taking a 401K loan for the debt on his cards, and I will go to a credit consolidator for the debt on my cards......any recommendations on that front? My credit is in the dump so this is not going to make it much worse. In five years we will be free and clear, paid off debt and house at that point. I have a huge breach of trust to heal and don't know how to go about it, that is what is hurting him the most and the fact I waited so long to tell him, couldn't understand why I felt I could not come to him when it all started. So he learned what a conniving wife he has and I learned that I had what I wanted all along, just didn't know it. We still have a lot to work out, and I am in for 5 or more years of snide backbiting remarks at times I am sure, but I think there is hope for us actually.
I used Debt Free Today. Pretty good
company. Never had any troubles with them. Just sent them a check once a month and they distributed among my creditors on the agreed amount. I think we paid off in 4 years. Was really nice!
SIL family, us and another family snacked,played
x
Pay off highest interest rate debt first, then the next, and onto the next. The house can wait. Do
dd
Big deal....
Let her call your home and wish him a happy birthday. Is she hurting anyone. There are children starving to death in other countries and women being raped and killed and you have a nice warm house and beautiful children. Just let her be and let things happen as they will. We are not in control of things to begin with.
I would much rather deal with this
So they pass gas or burp. Big flippin' deal! Better than drugs, guns, and the like that pass through the doors of a school! Cut me a break... You people are outta control here. Parents allowing it? So what if they do? They can teach manners, but let's face it, kids will be kids, and sometimes it happens. That is just plain crazy to think that because your child farts in class that makes him the next serial killer! Paaaleeezzze!
So what? What's the big deal? You act like they want to
X
If you don't know what the big deal is....
This is a long read but worth it........
A National ID Bill Masquerading as Immigration Reform
by Rep. Ron Paul, MD
by Rep. Ron Paul, MD
Watch Ron Paul deliver this speech to the House of Representatives on video.
Before the US House of Representatives, February 9, 2005
Mr. Speaker:
I rise in strong opposition to HR 418, the REAL ID Act. This bill purports to make us safer from terrorists who may sneak into the United States, and from other illegal immigrants. While I agree that these issues are of vital importance, this bill will do very little to make us more secure. It will not address our real vulnerabilities. It will, however, make us much less free. In reality, this bill is a Trojan horse. It pretends to offer desperately needed border control in order to stampede Americans into sacrificing what is uniquely American: our constitutionally protected liberty.
What is wrong with this bill?
The REAL ID Act establishes a national ID card by mandating that states include certain minimum identification standards on driver's licenses. It contains no limits on the government's power to impose additional standards. Indeed, it gives authority to the Secretary of Homeland Security to unilaterally add requirements as he sees fit.
Supporters claim it is not a national ID because it is voluntary. However, any state that opts out will automatically make non-persons out of its citizens. The citizens of that state will be unable to have any dealings with the federal government because their ID will not be accepted. They will not be able to fly or to take a train. In essence, in the eyes of the federal government they will cease to exist. It is absurd to call this voluntary.
Republican Party talking points on this bill, which claim that this is not a national ID card, nevertheless endorse the idea that "the federal government should set standards for the issuance of birth certificates and sources of identification such as driver's licenses." So they admit that they want a national ID but at the same time pretend that this is not a national ID.
This bill establishes a massive, centrally-coordinated database of highly personal information about American citizens: at a minimum their name, date of birth, place of residence, Social Security number, and physical and possibly other characteristics. What is even more disturbing is that, by mandating that states participate in the "Drivers License Agreement," this bill creates a massive database of sensitive information on American citizens that will be shared with Canada and Mexico!
This bill could have a chilling effect on the exercise of our constitutionally guaranteed rights. It re-defines "terrorism" in broad new terms that could well include members of firearms rights and anti-abortion groups, or other such groups as determined by whoever is in power at the time. There are no prohibitions against including such information in the database as information about a person's exercise of First Amendment rights or about a person's appearance on a registry of firearms owners.
This legislation gives authority to the Secretary of Homeland Security to expand required information on driver's licenses, potentially including such biometric information as retina scans, finger prints, DNA information, and even Radio Frequency Identification (RFID) radio tracking technology. Including such technology as RFID would mean that the federal government, as well as the governments of Canada and Mexico, would know where Americans are at all times of the day and night.
There are no limits on what happens to the database of sensitive information on Americans once it leaves the United States for Canada and Mexico – or perhaps other countries. Who is to stop a corrupt foreign government official from selling or giving this information to human traffickers or even terrorists? Will this uncertainty make us feel safer?
What will all of this mean for us? When this new program is implemented, every time we are required to show our driver's license we will, in fact, be showing a national identification card. We will be handing over a card that includes our personal and likely biometric information, information which is connected to a national and international database.
H.R. 418 does nothing to solve the growing threat to national security posed by people who are already in the U.S. illegally. Instead, H.R. 418 states what we already know: that certain people here illegally are "deportable." But it does nothing to mandate deportation.
Although Congress funded an additional 2,000 border guards last year, the administration has announced that it will only ask for an additional 210 guards. Why are we not pursuing these avenues as a way of safeguarding our country? Why are we punishing Americans by taking away their freedoms instead of making life more difficult for those who would enter our country illegally?
H.R. 418 does what legislation restricting firearm ownership does. It punishes law-abiding citizens. Criminals will ignore it. H.R. 418 offers us a false sense of greater security at the cost of taking a gigantic step toward making America a police state.
I urge my colleagues to vote "NO" on the REAL ID Act of 2005.
February 12, 2005
Dr. Ron Paul is a Republican member of Congress from Texas.
Anyone else had to deal with this?
My mother has suffered from arthritis for years. She just turned 80 in May of this year. She's told me during the past week that her legs have gotten increasingly more painful - to the point that she can hardly walk to get to the bathroom. Today, she said if her legs aren't better the next time she goes to the doctor, she's planning to talk to him about going in a nursing home. I am really distressed about this - realistically, I've known the day was coming, since her home is not amenable to her being in a wheelchair full-time. I live 1200 miles away from her in a second floor apartment, so even if she wanted to come stay with me, that's not possible considering my current living situation. In my head, I know this may be the best solution, and that I probably couldn't change things even if I lived closer, but my heart is hurting!
This is the deal...
She and he lived in Minneapolis and me way down here. I BEGGED her not to marry him, BEGGED her, and she didn't listen. She is extremely, extremely intelligent and NEVER listens to what I say. Even her little bro, who is 16, tells her, "You should just listen to Mom, she may be a b**** but she knows what she is talking about." She is SO smart she got a 4-year full scholarship at a University in New Orleans, so now she's down here with me and he has less control, which is making him more psycho, but "sometimes" he's nice. "Sometimes he acts like he loves me." The only good thing is that she didn't get pregnant. Oooh, I am just livid. I can hardly type and I have to sit here and work for 8 hours.
I'm sorry you had to deal with that.
Dogs and cats can be criminal like that...torturing small animals just for fun.
Gross dogs though, let me tell you about gross. A friend was in bed, watching TV and having some tea and toast before taking a snooze with her dog, a Malamute, who also shares her bed. This lady was eating her toast while watching tv, not really paying attention. She thought she dropped a small piece of toast on the blanket, picked it up, and popped it in her mouth. Turned out to be a small chunklet of cat turd covered in litter, accidentally dropped there courtesy of you-know-who.
Yep, her dog, like mine, loves to sneak "kitty krunchies" out of the box and snack on them when no one's lookin'.
no big deal!
I think I would probably have a heart attack if I were ever bitten by a snake.. My dentist bought an old house that was inhabited by snakes. . he shot some, carried some out using sticks, played loud music and finally, after a couple of years, has managed to take over the house. . he has way more patience and courage than I would have.
What is the big deal??? They had to have
gas and he said he would put in 10. He did. When he gets gas for his car is his business. If he wants to stop every day for gas, how does that affect her??? If they fight over little things like that, doesn't sound like a good marriage to me.
I know I should not have to deal with this...sm
But see my mother refuses to talk to him. She doesn't take his calls. She will call the police if he comes on her property so she doesn't have to deal with him. I no longer answer his calls either. I don't answer my door if he knocks. But he will literally wait for you to go somewhere outside like he knows I have to leave an 2:45 to go get my son for school and that is his opportunity. It is can I use your phone? Can I have a bite to eat. Then its crying. When my husband is home he does not do this. He does not come over to my house at all. My husband is a truckdriver so he is away a lot. My mother has got on his a** multiple times for bothering me and my sister. She has went off on him. He doesn't pay any attention. She has went to the sheriff. My best friend's husband is a deputy. I have talked to him. As long as he is on his property and hasn't done anything they can't do anything. All I can do is move. Pure and simple.
to deal with her.
nm
Here's the deal
Ok, we'll start at first cousin, since everyone knows that.
Your kids and your cousin's kids are second cousins.
Your grandkids and your cousin's grandkids are third cousins.
The "removed" part comes into play anytime you're talking about different generations.
For example, you and your cousin's kids are first cousins, once removed.
Your children and your cousin's grandchildren would be second cousins, once removed.
Here's the deal..........
I did that for years. I was working all day and STILL felt because I was at home, I should be washing dishes, putting in a load of laundry, whatever needed to be done, but knew I had to work my shift as well or even my prn work....all the while the children were growing up.
Even my childeren got to where they thought if they needed something (not an emergency) or just wanted to interrupt, they could just feel free to do so... after all, if I didn't make my work a priority in my own head, why should they? Even my mother would call and say something like, "You still on that computer"?, as if what I did wasn't important.
I finally stopped all that nonsense. They got off to school, I sat down at the same time everyday (just as if I were in an office), no phone answering, no door answering. Even my husband would call asking me to look up something in a file for him as if I were his secretary (stopped that too!). You should have seen the look on their faces when they realized I was NOT going to have whatever piece of clothing they wanted washed that day, they would eat what I had time to fix and be glad they had it (no all day meal cooking). The door to the room was shut and unless there was an emergency, it was to stay shut until I came out.
I had already told my mother I wouldn't be answering the phone but if there was an emergency, I would always be screening the messages; otherwise, her chit chat time was on hold until my day was over and I had finished with what I had to do for the day. That woman would then actually get in her car and come across town to knock on my door, saying since I wasn't answering the phone, she would just come over, as if that was okay!! She just doesn't get it at all!! I'm at home, so I must not be actually working. The next time she done that, I didn't go to the door. She stood and knocked, rang the doorbell, even went around the house to the back door seeing if it were open. I didn't go to the door, she went back home, rang the phone off the wall several times that afternoon and when I called her back that night, she wanted to know why I didn't come to the door. She had called my husband at work to ask him why I didn't answer the phone or the door. he told her I had work to do and couldn't get it done jumping up and down all day long. He was finally getting it. He told her if I were in an office somewhere, I couldn't be sitting on the phone for personal calls, doing laundry, washing the clothes, or running an errand, and she STILL said she just needed to tell me something..... like it couldn't wait until later.
Sometime, you just gotta do what you gotta do. If you stop obsessing about what housework there is around and remind yourself you have a job to do, all the other stuff will get done AFTER your job is finished, not during, you will start feeling better about everything.
If you were outside the home in an office would you be doing any of that stuff? Trust me, it can and will wait. You will be more productive as well. Just stick to it.
My sister in law knows I'm swamped with work and she still calls in the middle of the day wanting to chit chat (she doesn't work and has PLENTY of money) about anything and everything, and when I don't answer the phone, she calls her brother (hubby) at work and wonders if there's something wrong, since I'm not answering the phone. Geeeze!
yeah, yeah - Was/still am a Sam Cooke fan...
have a series of his albums (Sam's) and my older sister was into Jackie Wilson (he died very young)......never will be anything like Motown was..........*nods*......
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