Wow, ya'll are so wise -- thanks
Posted By: young vs. older on 2009-03-09
In Reply to: If you and he think that it will work, then go for it. - Jan
Appreciate any comments/advice. Keep it up! Thanks a lot.
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And cost wise?
Read all the above and thanks so much. Now in the midst of trying to get my yard in shape after the grubs set in and do not want to spend an arm and a leg on flooring. Thanks again.
Cost wise?
Heard sodding expensive.
very wise advice about how to go about
It keeps it from looking like a competition or disapproval, and more about the longterm effects of treating a child over-the-top and how they might interpret that as they are "damaged." A+ advice!
She may be able to work her way up job-wise
xx
Its wise to stay away
I had a C-section and had planned to stay at my mom's for a week or so to recuperate. As soon as I got there, I put the baby in the cradle in the living room and started to put some things away in the bedroom. I could hear my step-dad saying "get 'im, get 'im" to his dog....I went out there and he was actually encouraging his schnauzer to mess with the baby! I came real close to braining him with a can of tomatoes over it. I left and refused to bring the baby to their house as long as he was in it. My mom, too, chose the step-dad over her kids. Now he's dead and her relationship with her kids is rocky, and she regrets it.
What a wise looking face.
I'm sorry about your husband's death. You must both miss him very much. 
Wise ol' soul
I really do, especially around this time of year. But, I ws lucky to have him as long as i did.
And, Silver has always been a wise ol' soul. He is a great comfort. But, unfortunately Silver has cancer and is getting really thin. So, I think he will be with my husband before too long.
That picture was taken a few years ago.
I like those words - very very wise
Going to remember that one.
What would you do - survival wise
Thinking about the storm Gustave (sorry, don't know how to spell it or want to open up new window to find correct spelling), but it brings me to another question I wanted to ask. If you knew an impending storm (or some other disaster) was heading your way, and you would be out of power for 30 days (no refrigeration or electricity/gas) and was stuck in your home and could not leave (roads blocked or whatever reason) and you had time to prepare ahead of time. What kinds of foods would you have on hand in your "emergency stash" and what types of things would you eat.
Age wise, I am 10 years
older than DH.
You are wise and a very good person (sm)
Your daughter and granddaughter are very lucky to have you, especially your granddaughter.
Everything you said is true.
The best thing I ever did for my kids after divorce was never to say an unkind word about their father, never put them in the middle, and the parade of frogs was a definite no-no!
Your advice was excellent. You SHOULD write a book!! As many divorces as there are any more, you would think this issue would have more emphasis in some form of media.
Personality wise? I am probably most like Blanche! LOL
x
your grandmother=wise woman..saying comes from
Woman
was made from the rib of man, she was not created from his head-to top him, nor from his feet-to be stepped upon.
She was made from his side, to be equal to him; from beneath his arm-to be protected by him; near his heart-to be loved by him.
From The Talmud
Wise words, I second the rec. for the above post
Excellent points all.
I think that is a wise choice. So glad
you brought dad into this! It is just too much for one - I know because I was the only one.
Please forgive the double post. Wise NM
x
You sound like a very wise person and I a glad to that
he did understand. Over-the-top is never good. Not for an adult and certainly not for a child. A gift with meaning and purpose is more cherished than a trunk load of junk and will be remembered, not thrown away.
LOL- she sounds wise beyond her years. She's lucky to have you. nm
xx
A wise 1st grade teacher told us...
"If you won't believe that I was mean to your kids, I won't believe that you had dog food for dinner last night."
Wise words, bright side....
I had a mini-meltdown several months ago when the work pretty much dried up for awhile. My SO was so very supportive and reminded me that no matter what happened, even if we ended up living in a cardboard box, we would have each other and no one could take that away from us.
I'd always been extremely strong and independent before I met him, and would struggle through things alone and silently, always hiding behind the "everything is just fine" facade to everyone I knew.
It's so nice to have someone to love and trust and turn to for support when things get rough.
Knowing that someone is waiting right there to catch you if you start to fall off the edge is something no amount of money can buy.
Hang in there, backwardstypist...Things will work out for you and your DH.
what a wise, insightful and compassionate comment.
I wish you all the best and that you come out as a winner because you deserve it.
Percentage-wise, shoplifting is a more likely source of
I was horrified, what - a year ago? - to watch an episode of Oprah where three teenage girls AND THEIR MOTHERS were guests saying in front of God and the world that the girls engage in oral sex, how common it was, etc.
There was some point in this country when we decided that "shame" was bad (the oxymoronic suggestion being that we should be ashamed of shame!) - and nothing good has come out of this ridiculous 'progressive humanist' idea or its twin - the notion that outcomes should be the same for everyone regardless of their ability or effort.
Let's get the notion of shame back on stage - front and center. There ARE things that humans do that SHOULD make them feel shame and guilt. When we lose our ability to experience guilt, we have...let's see now, what do we have again? Oh yes, now I remember - we have Bernie Madoff and his $50 billion scam, television you can no longer watch with your children, teachers seducing their students, and a whole lot of other very unpleasant consequences.
Your aunt is a wise woman, and she is a strong person
for being a Pastor's wife. For some reason, Pastors seem to be the most difficult to understand about how to be sensitive to people, when it is their job to do so. No offense to pastors and to my husband. But when I loved him best when he delivered pizza and Sunday mornings I still feel put off. And those are the mornings I am probably the most up in arms about this control issue. I dont think that is what the Bible meant either. Thanks for your comment. Your aunt also sounds like she was a great example to women and men alike as the pastor's wife. :)
thanks! :) I'll see if he'll ask some female friends SM
Thank you everyone! It has been great reading all of your responses! Goodnight!! "See" you all tomorrow!
Hugs,
Chickadee
A wise old sage said: Beans, beans, are good for the heart ....
(you know the rest!) :)
I'll buy them ... sm
Of course I am teasing you. I love Longaberger baskets, but I can understand them not being everyone's cup of tea. I am sort of in the same situation with my father-in-law. He gives me the most God-awful stuff. He is retired, has no money, and feels the need to buy me something. This year he gave me an outfit that a 17-year-old girl would have loved. I am 42. I just smile and say thank you. Really, I keep telling my husband I would rather him just keep his money, but I can't hurt his feelings. I would just take the baskets, smile, say thank you, and put them in my attic as an heirloom for my grandchildren or something. They are beautiful and surely someday one of your children or their spouses might like to have them. Just a thought.
i'll take abc any day over any of them....
Thanks! - I'll try anything (sm)
That might possibly help me to avoid surgery, except for the book slamming thing! T
you'll see...sm
Her "rockstar wannabe" look...hilarious! She's just too...eeww...for me anyway. Something about her creeps me out.
I'll have to try it.
My Avon rep from work quit because she claimed that they would only send her half the order and her customers were getting upset. My mom does Avon through a friend and she has bought me necklesses from Avon when I was little as well. That friend has been doing Avon for 40 years. She is in her mid 80s now and wants to give it up but her son won't let her because that is the only thing that will get her out of bed anymore, so he helps her with it. It is hard to find reps around here because do it for a few weeks then quit.
Thanks, I'll try it! /nm
`
LOL, no they'll be
okay with it. It's only my parents coming over. My hubby dooesn't really like her dressing anyway so he won't care! And the kids, they could care less! I have a small family on my side. Hubby's is the big one and we're not going over there until my parents leave here!
I believe I'll try that.
Thanks - i'll try that
Will let you know how it works.
I'll take that one better
I moved here with 9 cats, and I've got 18 now. Long story, but two of the ladies were outdoor cats (one was a feral) and they were "in the mood for love."
Now there's Lil Rust, Baby Face, Tuxedo, BC (stands for black cat), Dusty (resumbles a cotton puff with legs and a face), Gypsy, Willow, and Gizmo. Scooter found a home.
Anyone get the impression that I love cats?
I'll second that!
No malls or shopping for me!!
I'll second that!
I have only done it once though because I feel incredibly guilty doing it...well make that twice...I did it tonight too. :)
What you see is what you'll get.
What you see is what you get. That is what they told me in ground training for my private pilot; of course, they were referring to the weather, but it holds true for a lot of other things and situations.
One thing about long-relationships that I have learned is that the only person you can "change" is yourself. So, if your significant other has any kind of habit or personality quirk that "bothers" you before entering into marriage, that same issue will be there after you've married no matter what the other person "promises" to do or don't do.
My boss once called me into his office (I thought I was in trouble again!) and asked my opinion about his marrying his girlfriend. He said he wanted to marry her, "take care of her," but that he could not "stand" the fact that she smoked. He also said that she promised to quit smoking after they got married. I told him basically the same thing, what you see is what you get. I also told him that to expect her to change, even with the promise of doing so, was unrealistic and that he would have to accept her as she is...smoking and all, even after the marriage. No matter what quirks the other person has before the marriage, they'll still have the same quirks after the marriage. She did try to give up the smoking; however, she eventually failed and resumed the smoking. Apparently, it was more than he could stand, and they ultimately divorced. Of note, he was a control-type freak whose idea of socialization was snuggling up to the TV set and eating pizza, and she was a free-spirited social being who liked to be around a lot of people. He did do some socializing, going out dancing, going out to eat, etc. to placate her, which was really totally against his nature. He knew beforehand what the issues were but chose to go ahead with the marriage, thinking that he could get her to change. She did'nt. What he saw before the marriage was what he got after the marriage.
The issue then becomes not what the other person will do to compromise but what you will accept, knowing full well what the other person's habits and quirks are and how far you are willing to go to accept that fact and be comfortable with those issues. If you are uncomfortable now and feel this is a significant issue for you, this will be the same after the marriage. Don't expect him to change. The only person you can change is yourself.
You can either accept him as he is and you, yourself, do the compromising, or you can move on to find yourself a more compatible life partner. If you choose to continue the relationship, however, do not feel guilty about "dragging" him along to any social events or worry about his socializing with the others. If he truly did not want to go, he wouldn't have gone in the first place. Maybe that would be his way of compromising for your issues.
Walking away from somebody you really think you love is tough. I've done it, and it does hurt for a while, but it is a whole lot less hurtful than divorcing. As I look back upon that decision, I know that it was the right thing to do. There will always be a "soft spot" in my heart for him, but I know that I could never really stand "to stomach" some of his quirks on a regular, life-long basis.
You need to do a lot of soul-searching about this. I wish you peace and happiness no matter what your decision is.
Margo
I know I'll let her go -
There's a saying that when an emotional decision has to be made, the right thing is usually the hardest thing. She needs to be able to fly. I'd never try to manipulate her into staying. Not my style. And yeah, I know I'll survive. But I don't have to like it!
I'll look into that, thanks. nm
X
AI - Who'll Go
I think it'll be Matt. To me it's getting really hard. Everyone left is very talented in my opinion. It's just going to get harder in the next week or so getting down to the wire.
You'll be okay
Deep breath. In. Out. Okay. You'll be okay. Be as calm as you can to the investigator. Explain it like you did here and they'll definitely see the truth. Cleaning the house sucks, I know, but you'll get that done, too. If the crap your husband has left around is too much to fit in the trash dumpster, see if you can sneak it into a store's dumpster at night. Or an office building who doesn't lock theirs. I used to take stuff to the dumpster at the office where I worked and even after I left, I took stuff there a couple of times.
Frankly, everything that was his would be in the trash. If it hasn't been touched in the last 6 months, it has to go. Get the kids involved, too - especially if they're on board with you and hubby splitting up, which if I remember correctly, they are.
Good luck. You'll be okay and you'll come through this onto the other side.
Keep us posted as to how things go, okay?
Either go with me or I'll go by myself
Well, I tried to get old I don’t want to leave the home to go. You see, hubby is a truck driver and he said before we married we would travel. He does and now he seems to want to "do things around the house" for his vacation. I have 2 vacations planned this year, both with 2 different groups for me but I thought perhaps he and I could take a few days and go to Orlando, Sea World and just get out of town for a few days. He had his chance so now probably around the end of June I plan on a) either driving down to Florida or b) flying down to Micky Mouse town, renting a vehicle and taking my own self to Sea World. Anyone else out there have such a hard time of getting hubby to join in on their outings?
I'll see her tomorrow and ask.
I'll post then and let you know.
I know I'll get slammed for this sm
I have broad shoulders! What kind of wimp would hire a sitter to watch their kids and clean their house while they type at home? I had a phone line installer tell me his wife does coding at home and takes the kid to daycare. He couldn't believe I worked at home plus took care of kids. My son is 13 and in the National Juniors Honor Society- straight A's. My daughter is in 1st grade and reads on a 4th grade level. I read to them at night. I played with them during the day. What a bunch of lazy people that can't work at home and take care of some kids for goodness sakes. You have to take breaks. If you are working for a company that requires you to sit and type for 8 hours straight with no breaks/lunch, you are the fool, not them! I wouldn't tolerate that for a minute!!!!!!! Is that why everyone is so unhappy here? I talk to the neighbors! I answer my phone! I do my laundry/load dishwaser, clean litter box, dust furniture. I go to the grocery store! I take my kids places! And I still make 50 K a year! SuperMOM!!!!!!! And someone says they wait until their teenagers aren't home! Paleeze! Teenagers????
Hopefully in a few months we'll both...sm
be bragging about our new babies. I haven't had morning sickness yet - didn't have it last time either, so we'll see if that develops. I'm spending my lunch hour from work napping each day and sleeping after work for a while. Hopefully I'll wake up before the baby is born in September. :o)
I'll tell you exactly what will happen.
If you don't buy it, everything will break. If you buy it, everything will break right after it runs out. lol. I bought a blazer a couple years ago, bought an extended warrantly and literally a month after it ran out my fuel pump burned up, some motor for my blinker burned out, had to get a new alternator, new battery, new tires (due to neighborhood felon in the making), driver side viser broke...I think there was more but I can't remember at the moment.
Anyhoo, good luck! :-)
you'll love it!
Let me know how much fun you had!
I guess you'll never know!
You'll qualify for the....sm
FMLA (Family Medical Leave Act) which is designed to allow people up to 12 months off for an approved absence. The criteria is listed on the US Department of Labor's website at: http://www.dol.gov/esa/whd/fmla/ During this time your employer must keep your position open and have the health care benefits available. You would be required to pay the premiums. No company is required to pay for leave of absences and very few actually do in the US.
I'll try to answer as best I can sm
I'm no expert only having this done on Tuesday, but I am not sorry one bit. I put mine off for 2 years before I got the guts to do it. I had only 1 molar left and couldn't eat much of anything. I think I will feel a whole lot healthier when I can go back to raw vegetables for snacks like I used to eat many moons ago.
I had 3 teeth pulled about 6 weeks ago simply because I was having extreme night pain and had no other choice, one pulled one week and the other two the following week. That solved that problem. The rest (all 15 with 12 shots of novacaine) were done all at once. That's how I wanted it done. I can't stand getting teeth pulled. Had a bad experience with an oral surgeon in my teens that left me with such a fear of dentists that I didn't go to another dentist for 5 years. My dentist now was fresh out of school and opened up his practice here in town with all of his new ideas and we have been with him for 25 years. Don't let anyone kid you that new grads are worthless. He was great. He calmed me down when I was shaking like a leaf with my teeth chattering in fear.
Lastly, I do like how they look. I like how my face looks with them, too. I've never been told I had nice teeth but I had 4 compliments on them just since Tuesday. I think once I get used to eating with them and keeping them in place, things will be much better. I do have to get used to NOT having them in, and that's what I hate. I guess I have to keep them out for about 8 hours a day to heal this sore spot. I don't like how I look or speak without them. My face feels caved in and my lips kind of flop around and I talk funny without them. I guess since I won't be going anywhere without them that it shouldn't be a big deal, but I'm real self conscious about that. I do have to get that sore spot healed, so I better listen to the boss.
The only thing I hate is the cost, around 4500.00. Half that was just the extractions. I could have gone to the dental school, but they are 2 hours away and I don't have the time nor the patience to drive that far for dental work. You can get it done real reasonable going that route from what I understand.
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