Wow, surprisingly rude response...

The original thread was locked for a reason.  The discussion was no longer beneficial.  There is no need to create a new thread.  If the two of you would like to communicate, why not E-mail each other privately?

Moderator

• This is in response to Puffing Away SM - Not in my direction
  • Hey Board Nazi, give it a rest already! - We are still in America aren't we?
    • Wow, surprisingly rude response... - Moderator
    • I agree....I can see where things - puffing away

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You called him a sociopath, then asked "doesn't he have any remorse or guilt?"  Well, no, not if he's a sociopath.  (Which I also think he is, BTW.) 

That's a big part of what makes someone a sociopath/physiopath (aka antisocial personality disorder) - not having a conscience or the ability to empathize about the feelings of others, among other things.  There are, (unfortunately) a lot of people in our society who are sociopaths, to some degree or other.  It's pretty scary.

He's a sickening man.  I've always wondered what it must be like for his two kids, being raised by the father who murdered your mother.  It always seemed insane to me that he was given custody of them.   

You said " I think it's pretty rude of smokers to smoke inside when youre sharing with a nonsmoker anyway."

I think its really, really rude to move into a house where there are smokers and just expect them to stop smoking in the house.  Because YOU don't like it.  Well, maybe they don't want to leave their comfort zone, drop what they're doing and go out into whatever weather and deal with the bugs, etc. just so YOU can be all comfortable instead.  Ever consider that?

And what's next - you inform them they can't eat meat in the house because YOU are a vegan, or some other fool thing? 

There are few enough places left that smokers can do their thing in comfort.  But you can bet every time they find one, sooner or later a nonsmoker will barge into that place and think they are entitled to punish and banish them for smoking.  Save everyone some grief and wait until you find a nonsmoking house to live in!

Of course, there are parts of what you say I agree with and parts I don't. :)

In my case, I had to step in or the state would have taken the child.  The dad was a bum...but when I look at how he was raised and the he** he went through, I understand how scared he is of even trying to be a father.  I don't excuse it, but I understand it.  I understand it all the way to family court where I will be getting a child support order against him next month <G>.  Got one on my own daughter, already.  My daughter was born with a mental illness and was a teenage mother.  It was a time bomb that finally exploded in a world of drug abuse.  But to treat the addiction without the mental illness will never result in a productive member of society.  So...that being said, holding these 2 parents accountable is futile...other than financially (okay, even I laugh at ever seeing any of that money).  They are infrequent visitors in my GC's life.  That is simply the way it is.

I look at European countries and see multigenerations living together even still, where the older family members help raise the young children so the parents can support the entire household.  That was what I meant about a community raising children.  We as Americans don't function in that way overall as a society.  We splinter and break apart and when young adults need help, often it means the children go somewhere else (usually aunts, uncles, grands).  Sometimes in divorce, one party has more _power/control_ (usually due to finances) and has a greater say in how, who and where the children are raised.  I suspect there is some of this dynamic occuring in the OP's life that she felt she couldn't share.  (My story is out there...but some are not as open).  Some divorced people use children as pawns, and this, too, is as sad as parents who cannot take responsibility for their offspring.

But I do fully support any parent, who for the sake of the children, can try to enrich their young lives and teach them tolerance, patience, forgiveness, acceptance, and learn how to deal appropriately with situations so that they can grow into strong, proud adults.  I suppose my point in all this was in my original response.  Bad things can be found everywhere...but if we can teach our children how to deal with them in a positive way, we have given them the gift of maturity.

Thank you for your response.  I did appreciate reading it and respect what you had to say.

First of all I am glad so many of you used this board to share your feelings on this issue of hating cats. I have read each one of your posts a few times over and agree wholeheartedly. I have also felt that this issue goes a lot deeper than not liking something with 4 legs and a tail that meows. That is why I brought it up. It is frustrating to say the least and something I could never understand.

Some of the people I have come in contact with who make these remarks will also out of the other side of his or her mouth proudly state how they love animals, just not cats. The last time I checked a cat was an animal. I can certainly understand having favorites, we all do.  What I don't understand is selective animal loving.

One of you posted that you feel these people are missing something. That really hit home with me and actually brought me to tears. I have missed so much in my life having no children, etc. I used to get angry over circumstances I could not control and actually felt I was being punished in some way. All around me are people with what seems to me to be everything.  One thing God made sure I had all my life is the ability to love and receive it 100 times over from animals. It has literally been life saving for me. There is a history of abuse in my past, and this is one love I am not afraid of.

The post that spoke of cats being looked at as evil, the black cat at Halloween hit home, too. That post opened my eyes to a lot of things. My friend I spoke of who went shopping with me and shouted all day long about hating cats said that her mother doesn't like them either. It really does seem to be an attitude that in many cases has been passed down to the next generation. My mother, 90 years of age now, has always and will always have a spot in her heart for cats. She loves them dearly, but because she has dogs who don't tolerate cats she does not adopt cats. My grandmother as well loved them.

I guess when I see a cat I see an animal with elegance and beauty, an individual little soul that walks and cannot be heard or peeks between the railing of my niece's stairway and then very gingerly comes downstairs to sit by the front door. No one can expect everyone to love them, but the one post that said hate is such a strong word says it all. One post said how cats kill birds, etc. I don't like that either, but it is instinct. My friend had an English Springer Spaniel some years ago and called me crying, saying her dog was a MURDERER!  She said she looked out the kitchen window and saw Daisy shaking a little rabbit. The rabbit died and Daisy went on her way. It is animal instinct, and nature can be very cruel sometimes. My mom sat at the living room window 4 years ago and saw a snake come over the roof to get at a bird nest we had been watching. We were anxiously awaiting the flight of the babies. It never happened. 

Some don't like cats rubbing up against their legs, etc. I guess I could never hate anyone or anything that was just expressing love to me. I value what some others hate, and that's part of life too. I am not preaching, just letting some feelings out and learning a lot at the same time.

In my local shelter just a few miles from my apartment by last count about 5 weeks ago there were 500 cats waiting for adoption, and yet down the road from where my mother used to live year after year appears a sign in the front yard a few times a year   .  . Free Kittens.  Like me, so many live in apartments, etc. that do not even allow pets.

Thanks again for letting me open up and let it out. It has helped, and hearing your comments has helped to understand a little better. I have a few little stickers on my dashboard that says it all. It is from the ASPCA. It reads very simply

We Are Their Voice. 

God bless you and God bless all animals.