Would you ever kick your kids out of your home?
Posted By: ArlingtonMT on 2009-03-24
In Reply to:
Are your kids welcome to stay in your home for as long as they like?
My 15 year old asked if we'd ever kick him out or his older brother. I said they'd always have a home with us as long as they follow our rules.
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I say expel the kids who do that. Kick them out!
I'm tired of rude, obnoxious behaviors without consequence.
I purposely choose no tolerance for that kind of behavior.
When they get tossed out, they'll receive absolutely no help from me, either. None.
I think personally if you are expelled from school or do not graduate, you should never, EVER be allowed to live on any type of welfare. EVER.
Well I figure I can make my own hours & be home when the kids are home (sm)
I worked PT in an office for a while but spent most of my money on childcare in the summer. Full-time in an office was just a nightmare and I felt like I missed a whole year of my children's lives. I want to be in control of my schedule so that's why I'm looking into the cleaning thing. Never thought I would want to do that but live and learn! Some of the most intelligent people alive work as carpenters and similar things because they have learned what's really important in life. Whew....off my soapbox now :-) Good luck to you!
kids at home
When I began working at home, my children were 7 and 12, and I was also a single ma, but they were old enough to not be watched every single second. At first, I had my computer in my kitchen, then my family room, which the kids were usually in if they were not outside, and I could see my back yard perfectly at either place.
I stopped often, to answer questions, help, make breakfast, lunch, etc., but when I compared my interruptions to the alternative, working at the hospital, my interruptions were worth it, especially during the summer or when they were ill. There is a fine line between letting your children feel that you are not to be bothered during work. You don't want them to ever feel that they cannot come to you with a question or problem. Sure, I remember feeling frustrated and maybe venting when I wish I could have been more patient, and I felt like some days were not near as productive as during the school year when they were in school, but it was worth it to me. Sometimes I even told them not to bother me unless they were bleeding or the house was on fire, but that is not wise.
Most of the time I remained honest with them, telling them that "mommy's gotta finish this report, honey, hold on and when I finish this report, I will talk to you."
I tried to be as proactive as possible, even though I am a huge procrastinator, and I would maybe make sandwiches ahead of time, pack a lunch for them, just like on school days.
I would use my breaks to maybe run them to a friend's house, go pick up a friend or to drop them off at the golf course (of course when they were older and not driving) and then come back home and work, sometimes maybe only an hour until it started raining.
Oh, I should probably tell you though, now they are 19 and 25, and they don't bother me at all anymore......
Do you have kids that were home
from school yesterday? I did and that's why I think today feels like Monday. Although, I haven't had the day you're having. I hope things are better this afternoon. If you have some tea around, try a cup. Sometimes it makes you feel more relaxed. Have a great afternoon!!!
Kids at home while you work? How do you (sm)
make sure they know you are "at work" even though you are right there? I have worked at home in the past but had issues with this. Mine are old enough now to be home while I work (10 & 7), but I would love any ideas of how to make sure they respect my work hours. Any ideas?
PA too and our kids were actually sent home early
due to the heat! We were never sent home for that one. Spent the day at the pool with the kids and now it's time to work.
No glad my kids are grown and out of home...
Anyone who thinks their kids are bad - well get this 3 BROTHERS here 10, 12 and 14 charged with crimes related to their breaking and entering and then completely destroying a Headstart school. They threw not only paint and other solvents over the place but also left own bodily fluids such as feces and urine, totally destroying computers, games, floors, the whole building, probably over $100,000 damage. I thank my lucky stars I do not have to even think about putting up with that.
She has 2 wonderful kids whom she home schools
They are ages 13 (boy) and 10 (girl). My sister died at age 27 of cancer and left a husband and 8 yo boy. My sister was also 6 months pregnant when they found the cancer and she lost the little girl after going to MD Anderson and all the treatment, and my sister only lived 6 months.
There is such a concern here because of my having kidney cancer and given 6 months to live, but I have been in remission for 4 years now.
My sister had breast cancer, in remission for 5 years.
I am open to any help anyone has, be it good or bad. Thanks.
Any kids with wife#2 are living at home and being
Kids should not expect to college paid for, so hubby should not pay for college for kids with wife#2 since he did not pay for college for kids with wife #1.
There's lots of things kids can do at home
all summer that are worthwhile and free. Take them to the library once every week or two and get them reading! Where I lived as a kid it was hot all day, so I read all day and played outside in the evening when it was cooler. It doesn't have to be books, either. It can be magazines, comics, or whatever. Just the 'reading' part is the key. I used to read and re-read old comic books, Life magazines, National Geographics, and books on animals and earth sciences. I also think I read Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry Finn multiple times each during the summer.
Kids can put on a neighborhood circus (and make some cash by charging admission). They can put on a pet show. We used to have pet shows, haunted houses, dog shows, cat shows, talent contests, bike races and foot races, too, and hurdles contests.
With some scrap wood, hammers, nails, etc., (if they're not too small) they can build things. We all had tree houses in just about every large tree in the neighborhood. My friend built a go-cart, and I built a wooden wagon. I also collected rocks, and used that wagon to haul home my latest acquisitions from around the neighborhood. (Much to my mother's dismay... she apparently didn't have the 'rock-gene' that my siblings and I all seem to carry!) Starting collections of any type (even if it's not rocks) can be a fun summer pastime.
Making mud pies and cookies was fun, as was collecging pollywogs and watching them magically turn into frogs.
A job such as painting a fence (a-la Tom Sawyer) can be a messy but fun experience for kids. Or, creating a mural.
Art projects are fun, too. How about giving each kid a journal to write their private thoughts and dreams in? Or, an older child can be taught the basics of cooking or sewing, which will come in handy some day when they're older. You could also teach hand-sewing, beading, embroidery, etc., and let kids make themselves a T-shirt or tank top, shorts, etc. that is work of wearable art.
Or, how about starting a veggie garden for the kids to take care of? They could also be involved in cooking and eating what they grow.
Even though it seems useless, the down-time in the summer, spent just doing NOTHING, isn't as bad as it appears, and when kids don't have every minute booked up for planned activities, they learn to explore what's interesting to them, and amuse themselves.
its better to raise kids in a happy divorced home
To all you married moms with kids and hubby at home,
do you ever dream about living by yourself? Not just with no kids, but with no hubby either? I love my family, but when I feel overwhelmed, when life gets too stressful, I can't help but think how peaceful that kind of life would be, with just myself to take care of. Of course I know in my heart that if I was by myself I would be bored and lonely, but right now it sounds really good! It has been one of those days...
Help! Pushy parents think I work from home and can drive their kids etc
I am constantly being asked to watch people's kids because I work from home. The latest is a friend of my son attending the same camp in another town. The friend I will call Scotty. Scotty has two parents. His father works from home as a computer consultant. My friends and I have called Scotty's dad to work on our computers and he never even returns the call or shows up. Scotty's mom recently asked me if I could drive her son home from them because the dad gets busy and doesn't like to leave clients. I told her that I too am working from home and have to minimize my time in the car. Scotty does not live close to us. I feel like a big meanie but they have pushed me before. Last year our kids were not even in the same camp but the mom called and asked if I would drive and pick up her son every day because i live in the same town as the camp. I was like ??? no way.
They used to drop Scotty off at my house on school holidays. They would drop him off at 7 AM and then once the mom called me at 5 PM and said she wanted to get an oil change and asked me if I could keep scotty until 7:30 PM. I said NO and then she came to pick him up earlier but stayed at my house uninvited until 9:30 when I just said I HAVE TO GO TAKE A SHOWER.
Anyone have clever ways to handle these situations?
Grownups-My Cousin Vinnie, older kids - Home Alone One sm
A Christmas Story is our holiday favorite to watch with little kids and we love when the dogs eat the turkey and they have to go out for Chinese! We have the lamp ornament on our tree.
Poll for parents with school aged kids at home...sm
1. What ages are your kids?
2. Do they have their own cell phone?
3. Do they have their own TV and or computer in their room? If so, are there set hours they're allowed to use these:
4. Do they receive an allowance? If so, are they required to do chores to receive this?
As for our house, here's the answers. Kids are 15 and 8. 15-year-old has a cell phone and pays her bill. 15-year-old has a TV. The kids share 1 PC that is where we can see what they're doing on it, and they're limited to no more than an hour a day on it if it's a school day. We do have parental controls in place. They don't receive an allowance but they are aware of a special chores list that they can choose to do extra things around the house to make money. They are required to keep their rooms and bathrooms cleaned, as well as alternate cleaning up the kitchen after dinner.
Staying at home and raising us kids worked for my mother
Hmm. It should be okay with me right? Oh, wait, that puts me in the welfare line which you think everyone takes advantage of.
You don't live in your mother's time. I wish you did, because the internet didn't exist then.
Rainy, cool, dark. Home working with plenty of work. Hubby and kids are sm
picking up toys, taking them to Goodwill. LOVE days like this.
Sounds like my kids...on a school day "we just got home from school!" on a vacation day....sm
But this is our vacation! My husband takes vacation days and leaves town without us...lol! He would never dream of taking a day off to work around the house!
Why would you want to kick someone
I'm not a Christian, either, but I think everyone has a right to their own beliefs, and if they find comfort in their religion, I say more power to them.
I don't think anybody is saying that money is going to rain down from the sky, or any such nonsense. But most of life is colored by our attitude - and if praying helps someone, if it gives them comfort and helps them to have a more positive attitude, then it is a good thing.
Live and let live. Don't condemn, embrace. As long as someone's belief doesn't hurt anyone else, then they can believe in little green men or a flat earth or fairies for all I care.
The one thing I do know is that this world would be a better place if we show love, kindness, and tolerance toward each other, not hate and bigotry.
I don't get it either. I would kick him out and take him for everything he had.
//
Thanks!! I got a kick out of it :)
x
My medicare will kick in before
hubbys, born in the 40s mine starts at age 67. He does not get Medicare when I do, only if he were retired and/or health issues were such that he was unable to work. If you go on dialysis no matter the age, you automatically are put on Medicare but just because a husband retires or vice versa does not benefit the other spouse.
I'd kick him out. I would not enable him to keep doing what he is doing
and getting by with it. Call Al-Anon to help yourself. Tell him to get help from a recovering alcoholic.
kick those deadbeats out
Wow, can you come kick my husband in the booty, too? LOL
I'd like him to get busy around here; sounds like I need to be more like you!
I get a kick out of the "Easy button" ones (sm)
just saw one where electronic stuff is landing everywhere, a laptop on the holiday table, a GPS hitting a guy in the head while he's hanging lights outside, etc. and it turns out to be a baby just playing, smacking the Easy button over and over. Makes you stop and watch, and funny the first time, anyway!
First off, he CANNOT just kick you out of the house. It does not matter
if your name is on the deed or not, it is marital property, you both own it. So tell him to take a flying leap that you're not leaving. If he tries to physically remove you from the house, you call the police and tell them he assaulted you. You go to the county courthouse and swear out an ex parte emergency order of protection at which time they will issue a temporary restraining order for 15 days and schedule an adult abuse hearing. During the 15 days, he cannot come near you and HE will have to leave the house. At the adult abuse hearing, you will tell the judge if you want to proceed with the restraining order and if you do, they will schedule another hearing and extending the emergency order of protection until the next court date and so on. Eventually, the judge will hear the case and make the temporary order permanent.
In the meantime, you should contact legal aid for legal advice and an attorney. I would also do as the poster below suggested which is start to get together important paperwork, possessions, etc. and stash them at a friend's place. Do not get a storage facility or rent anything that will leave a paper trail back to you. I would also empty out any and all joint accounts and open an account in your name only at another bank, change your direct deposit through work if you have it going into a joint account.
I know everything above sounds very calculated and cold, but it's cover your butt time. Men can be cruel and you have to worry about you and your kids (if you have any). I've been through an ugly divorce and I functioned during my divorce with the full knowledge that every single move I made was to protect and provide for my kids and myself. Every move my ex made was for himself and himself only.
I wish you the best of luck. Be strong and be smart!
How can I kick him out? I have told him to leave many times (sm)
he won't go. He tells me to leave. I have children. If you know how to go about making him leave, I really would like info on how to do it and enforce it. Thanks
stop supporting the a-hole and kick him to the curb.
x
I wish they'd kick Tatiana off and bring Rose back! NM
x
I love him.What a character Cedric is already. My lab/dane mix is Walter - such a kick. Congrats! nm
Buy a home of my own - not a palace, but more of a smallish home on a large piece of land. (nm)
.
Anyone move from a single family home to mobile home? sm
I own and live in a house in a midwest city in a bad neighborhood (wasn't that bad 11 years ago). I spent the day waiting for the plumber to come and jackhammer the foundation (slab house, no basement) to find a leaky pipe that is flooding my DD's bedroom. Last week, it was the electrician with quotes for costly repairs.
In the meantime, I've really been thinking about selling out and moving into a mobile home. Has anyone done this before? Is a mobile home in a decent park less of a hassle than a regular house? I'm so tired of cutting the grass and spending $$ to fix things and tired of old flooring and cabinets, etc., that are just too costly to replace. I'm single with no man to do these things for me and I can't afford a mortgage on a newer house in a good neighborhood. Some of the pictures I've seen of the mobile homes look really nice and modern on the inside.
Any advice and comments appreciated. Thanks!
Daniel had a home, a very good home...
with someone in my family at one point.
She met her late husband at a club down the freeway from me. It's not a fancy place, like you say.
She does have a real brother though. That was the connection on our part.
I agree, though. It is sad that all this is coming out the way it is. I believe she was a good person...she just had a lot of problems, mainly drugs. What is really sad is that all of this is going to be seen by her daughter one day when she grows up.
*sings* Footloose, footloose-kick up UR Sunday...
Everyone is entitled to their opinion - just don't get it when someone says *i just don't like it* and we are talking about DANCING and HAVING FUN. Perhaps you don't like Latino dancing - it was all about the Rumba and Samba last night.....
*sings* Hot, Hot, Hot!! La Vida Loca (the crazy life)!!
It didn't work out due to combining of kids and step kids. nm
*
Home Alone 1, A Christmas Story, Home for the Holidays, Chevy Chase's Christmas, sm
There "The Gift of the Magi," He sells his gold watch to buy her a comb for her hair and she sells her beautiful long hair to buy him a chain for his gold watch. It used to be on "Short Stories by O'Henry" but that's long gone, long ago. Good moral to the story. I can't stand "It's a Wonderful Life" -- too depressing, especially with banks closing, too intimidating right now!!!
Home sweet home.
x
Home, Home, On The Range SM
where the beer and the cantaloupe play . . . where seldom is heard . . . .
What happens at home stays at home. (nm)
:op
She is home, by that I mean she is 1 mile from her home.
I am the one that moved away. My brother lives there, but she requires 24-hour nursing care right now, and he is unable to provide that for her. My son is graduating high school this year and I plan to move back to take care of her, but I just can't until then. I did tell the adminstrator that they have 24 hours to figure this out, and then we will bring in the police. I have also threatened to go to the media, and this facility has a very excellent reputation and is run by the Brethren Church, so I would think they might not want bad publicity. It is a pretty small town and this is one of only a couple of care homes in the area.
Nope, no kids with him, all of our kids are 20 and over.
I would think that some of the $12,000 A YEAR he paid in support for over 9 years should have been enough to save some for college. He paid his dues so to speak, always paid the support on time, had insurance for them, etc. He told them straight up to pay for their own college. Is there something wrong with that?
ESL kids have a label =$$$. When the illiterate kids get a label slapped on them - they will get a
Most public schools do not teach children to read with intensive phonics. It has nothing to do with class size IMHO. The method of reading instruction is what determines if the kids will learn to read or not.
Consider homeschooling her.
Each child represents a $ amount to public school administration. As long as the child attends they get their $. They still get X amount of $ for each year they teach or do not teach a kid to read.
Their compensation is not reduced when they produce illiterate adults.
It's Your Home
And I would keep the display just as it is. He had no right to come to your home and tell you to take it down.
Yes ~ I just got home...
They took it back with no problems and he even let me open the new one at the courtesy desk before I took it home. Looking back now, and don't ask me why I remember or even noticed, but you know how when they pass stuff over that little round magnet thing at the checkout to disable the security sensor inside, it kind of makes a little noise, kinda like a little "boing" sound? Well, when I did the exchange today, he passed the new ink over that circle and it made that noise and for some reason I remember the other one didn't make that noise when I bought it. Now, I know why.
Like I said, don't ask why I would remember something like that. My head is so full of useless stuff like that it's a wonder I can do my job!
Where is Home?
I'm not talking about where you live now, either. I'm missing my "home" today, and I'd like to know, where is "home" to you? Do you ever miss it? Will you be heading "home" for the holidays?
All the guy can go home now
- not good with names but the black woman who sang a Whitney song and the black woman who is really shy - Either one of those 2 will me our next American Idol! Remember where you heard it first!
Yes, now way down here. Sometimes I want to go home so bad.
But I don't want to shovel, so I guess I'll stay here! Maybe I'll go back when if my son decides to go to the U of M. Go Gophers!
Not really, did it hit home with you or
sound like your situation? I wrote as overall but if the shoe fits, so to say....If I have major issues, have not really found them yet so don't know where you are coming from, makes no sense to me but guess to you it does. My hubby has eyes for me and that is all that counts here.
home is everywhere and no where :)
i grew up in 1 place, but have moved many many times now...traveled with the racehorses, married a racerider and keep looking for greener pastures i guess!
19 and at home!
My 19 yo boy lives at home trying to get through college, and yes they think they own the world at that age. But rules are you live here you follow and respect the guidelines. Our boy broke some other rules agreed upon and now his curfew is 12 am Mond-Sund. You can't spank the kids, but making life just a bit difficult works well. If he decides he does not need to follow that curfew then he was told he can start supporting himself (HA! That wouldn't last).
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