Women with restraining orders are killed by their abuser
Posted By: sm on 2007-03-19
In Reply to: I made such a big mistake - --
Don't get a false sense of security. There have been good advances in the past 20 years but it's still a man's world.
Stay in contact with your friends and family and make sure to give a few of them a code word. Something like the sky is blue or I really want chinese food and they will know to call the police if you are in trouble. Do what you need to do to protect yourself. Do not count on the police. I was attacked in my home 2 hours after leaving the courthouse. I even called 911 when I got home because I was scared. They were on their way but he got there faster.
I was young and nieve and had a newborn I was thinking about. I wish someone would have told me not to go home. Please don't be nieve like I was and trust the system and that piece of paper. It's hard to imagine your home isn't safe or that someone is going to be 100x more aggressive then you have ever seen them be.
I would move and change your numbers and make sure if you work outside your home you alert EVERYONE including the receptionist and your boss/manager and security.
Complete Discussion Below:  marks the location of current message within thread
The messages you are viewing
are archived/old.
To view latest messages and participate in discussions, select
the boards given in left menu
Other related messages found in our database
Isn't this what restraining orders
are for? I remember not having time to sew a button on for my DH, and I was amazed at the mess he made. I could only assume he was trying to assure me of his incompetence so I'd sew for him in the future. I mean, how hard is it to copy the way the other buttons are sewn on?
Restraining orders also depend on
the women who take them out. A lot of them still see the guy and let him back in the home. Mine worked well for me and if I told you about my ex and the things he did to me it would turn your stomach. A restraining order is at least a documented event that can work in her favor should her guy try to be Mr. Personality and make her out to be a loon. JMHO, but there is no way I would leave the home (and in my case I didn't). I madie it as difficult for him as possible without disrupting my life or my children's lives. I also got a gun and learned how to use it....
I know restraining orders are good for more - sm
than 10 days....you read it all the time actor this, actress that got a restraining order for six months, 1 year, 2 years, etc. She need to contact the local court and find out what she has to do to keep him from coming on her property, etc. and start video taping him with date and time stamp so you/she has evidence that he is violating it (once she has one).
I disagree. Women have gotten killed by not moving or changing their phone numbers.
l
Dunno, but I guess there are many ways to be an abuser/user, huh? nm
s
restraining order?
When you leave, could you try to get a restraining order? Then when he violates it, which he probably will, have him arrested. .
I'd get a restraining order, that way when- sm
he violates it he will be thrown in jail, and possibly get a mental health evaluation. You mom needs to do this as he has threatned her,etc. You never know when he might further go over the edge and followthrough (i.e. kill your mom), if he ever does you will obviously feel very guilty that you sat back and did nothing.
JC Penney - Free Shipping on orders of $25+
JC Penney - Free Shipping on orders of $25+ - (from www.jcp.com or catalogue) discount code - DELIVER
Money orders vs Cashier's check
When paying of a debt, is it better to send a money order, cashier's check or personal check? With a personal check, at least I know when it has cleared. How do you verify a money order or cashier's check has been cashed? Thanks.
Dear Girl Taking Orders at
Please tuck your undershirt in more tightly. I really don't want to see your butt crack anymore.
Your Customer
You don't offer to feed someone you have a restraining
x
Tell them, my own boss, years ago no restraining order
for a husband. They could beat you and half kill you and you were considered their property. I know because have been there.
it just about killed me ;)
actually I just ran out of $. Keep it up - it is a fantastic way to exercise. Be careful not to let the instructor/yoursel push you too hard.
I almost killed my cat with tunafish!
Go figure that one out! He was a Maine Coon cat...just HUGE with a huge appetite and I ran out of food, so I grabbed a can of tuna until I could get to the store. That night I woke up to SCREAMING like I have never heard an animal scream before and his whole body was spasming. Oh it was the most horrible thing I had ever witnessed! I called an emergency vet clinic who took him in right away. He had a complete blockage of his urethra and couldn't pee...he was a heartbeat away from blowing his bladder and dying. They had to catheterize him and the bag was full of bloody urine and he spent 3 days in the hospital. I was a wreck but he was ultimately fine. Holy crap did that vet bill nearly cripple me! ICU for a cat...why oh why do I keep on with these friggin' animals?!
You never know what will cause something to go wrong with these things. Never blame yourself...ever. We are all doing the best we can with what we have.
I once had a dream that my dog got killed - sm
and a week later to the day, she did. And it happened exactly like in my dream.
not the ones who end up being killed or prostitutes - sm
no, they don't always come back, there would be no missing persons if that was the case.
Yes, she most definitely killed her...I have no doubts...
nm
If her dogs killed my cats
I would probably just tar and feather her, that seems like a good remedy for me.
Yesterday's headlines killed me.
"Dr. Melfi quits treating Tony Soprano to start treating Paris Hilton!"
Too funny.
She said on The View that "Paris called and needed me so I had to make all my time available for Paris and her family!"
How not to get killed?!?!?! How about leave the idi0t!!!
I am very independent and I don't care if I have to go get a one bedroom apartment so my two small kids and I can have a place to go. I would not live in fear of my life over anything! I would figure it all out once I got a restraining order and filed a divorce! Wow, I could say a lot, but I am going to keep my comments to myself. That is what I would do. You asked for advice, there you have it!
My youngest step son was killed ........ sm
in a motorcycle accident and was almost decapitated. The mortician did a very good job with him, but there was still some evidence of the trauma he suffered. His mother chose to have an open casket because I doubt she could have dealt with it any other way. It was a very hard funeral, and hard for me as I had not seen him in quite some time and it was hard seeing him lying in a casket, but I think, hard as it was, it did help bring closure for me and for his family. I think it is a very personal decision that only the family can make at a time like this.
Kinda like asking if OJ killed Nicole or not NM
x
Or they want to raise them so they can be killed in a senseless war!!
Not that I think it is good to kill fetuses either ... but why don't these people see their lack of logic!
And as far as the stem cells and embryos ... why don't they fight to stop allowing people to fertilize and freeze them to begin with (or more than they will surely use)?!!
I read about a 6yo that killed his classmate
I know this doesn't pertain to you because some kid killed his father after he saw his father committing violence, but I just thought this was interesting article. It's called Why little kids kill. I just cannot fatham anyone at 6 years old doing that. What happened to young innocense....
If I were you and the family seems non-challant I would definitely talk to a police officer and state your concerns. Especially in today's day and age - nothing surprises me.
http://life.familyeducation.com/early-learning/violence/36442.html
nah -- we killed too many brain cells
snorting the crack OUR parents didn't teach us about!
Geesh -- why always so quick to blame the parents? This kid is 14 years old and knew better than to do this. She chose to do it anyway, just like so many others before her time chose to get up knocked up, strung out on drugs, become an alcoholic, etc.
Yes, the kid screwed up, but that's what kids do. Didn't you ever have a friend who stole a car in high school or got caught cheating and ended up expelled? It's not the end of the world, but spreading it all over the media could very well push this kid over the edge and cause her to hurt herself. She obviously is looking for attention or affection. This is certainly not going to help her.
Her name was Meredith Emerson, and it was just last January that she was killed.
I know the story very well, and even hiked in memory of her a few weeks after she was killed. Her murder caused great grief along the entire 2100+ miles of the trail, and all of us who love the trail know full well what can happen out there.
The trail community is very difficult to explain to people who haven't experienced it. Yes, people have been killed on the Appalachian Trail, probably about a dozen or so in the over 70 years that the trail has been open. Given the thousands who walk all or part of the trail each year, it is statistically safer on the trail than in "civilization". You are correct, however, that hikers are more in danger than the people who pick them up. The most dangerous places on the trail are at the trailheads and near roads where people pretend to help hikers and then do harm. That is why I pick up hikers, because they are more afraid of me than I am of them. Also, there's quite a bit of communication that goes up and down the trail, and we do keep track of people as they travel. It's very likely that when I pick someone up near the trail, I've heard about their trip. In hiker slang, people who help hikers are called trail angels. It's a different situation. It's not 100% safe, but I choose not to cower at home. I hike the A.T. and other trails, usually with friends, sometimes alone. I tell my family, that if harm should come to me, either through accident or evil, they should remember that I go into the woods because I love it, and should I die there, they should remember that I loved it too much to stay away.
The Appalachian Trail is not the lawless, dangerous passageway that so many people think it is. More times than I can count, I've been asked about the dangers of the trail. Usually I just shrug and smile. It's not worth the argument, because I can't change the minds of people who don't know. On the other hand, I don't want to change minds. If I did, there'd be traffic jams on the trail, and it wouldn't be fun anymore.
If she doesn't care about the fact that her dog killed your 2 cats
I don't understand why you are so afraid of offending her??!!! I don't know how much time has passed, but I would have been rip roaring FURIOUS at her, SIL or not, that she allowed her dog to do that not once but twice. She sounds pretty self-centered and uncaring to me.
UNC Student Killed, now WBC protestors plan to picket
I live in NC and the news of the murdered student body president (out of respect will not list her name here) has upset all of us in this area, of all religions and non-religious as well. The WBC is a radical group calling themselves "Christians" who plan to protest at UNC during the memorial service for this beloved young woman. The group is listed as a "hate group" but call themselves Christians and wear shirts and bear signs saying "God hates you" and God hates colleges, etc. Their website proclaims "thank God another college student is dead." This is so horrible and unspeakable. For those who are not Christian, please do not believe for one moment that this represents common Christian viewpoints. It definitely does not. The vast majority of Christians are horrified at what these people believe and proclaim.
you got mighty lucky because boric acid is poisonous and could have killed them
X
Just read where a 42-year-old woman was mauled and killed by her own 2 pit bulls sm
in FL near Jacksonville. Then the dogs turned on her son who was also bit in the throat but luckily will survive. Then the dogs turned on the sherrif's dept before they were both shot and killed. THANK GOD. I hate these dogs. I'm sorry. When my brother was walking home from fishing years ago pits attacked him and he's never been the same. Thankfully he survived. When you go to the FL news website you see tons of pit bull owners sticking up for this breed and saying how they are great dogs. if they are so great why are they banned in multiple counties across the nation? No other type of dog is banned? Neighbors, cousins all say that she was a very loving owner who even slept with the dogs. No neglect, nothing. There were people saying that they leave their pits alone with their young children, as young as 3 years old! How ignorant can you be?
Tons of FL residents are calling of the extinction of this breed and I think that's a great idea. You cannot trust a pit bull PERIOD. There is something in their brains that can TICK at any time - this was quoted by a vet who specializes in dog care. So tell me, why do people take chances with this kind of dog? I'm so angry right now!!!!!!
Obviously you've never had a family member killed by a drunk driver.
Long ago? Time has nothing to do with it. The man has an alcohol problem and left the scene of a homicide. Sounds like you're ok with that. I'm not. It speaks volumes about his character.
Young lady killed here in Georgia, Appalachian trail hiker
and she was enjoying going out about 2 years ago, killed on a mountain here by man posing as hiker. She was a young, vibrant lady in her 20s, he was in his 60s. I think I am getting this right when I say he used her police baton she carried for protection, wrestled it away from her and killed her with it. Is not the trail you hike on known for lot of crimes? This murder happened on that same trail where you give rides to strangers. This man was well known to other hikers there as he hung out on the trail lots of times.
Why do women always seem...
to be the guinea pigs for pharmaceutical companies? There is no way would I want my granddaughters subjected to this.
But you and I both know, women
have always and as far as I can see will continue to carry the burden. If we did not take birth control and it was left to a man to tell us they had taken a pill, would you want to chance that? I don't think so. If a woman has a child a lot of men can and do turn their backs and who is responsible then? It is the woman again. I take the responsibility for my own health- I would never want to leave up to a husband/partner to assure me he had taken his medicine for STD??/used his birth control??/infertile???/etc., etc. This is the reason you see lots of females left holding the bag because they do want to put trust in their man.
I think 90% of women...
Find their husbands repulsive and repugnant. You are not alone. Just close your eyes and go to your happy place.
Have you ever seen what those women look like?
Kids that age just want to fit in, not look like their mom or the lady at the Macy's counter. I let my daughter wear what she wanted even I thought it looked pretty bad at times. She is now 18 and wears appropriate make up for an 18yo.
I know these women are old but
Tina Turner and also Cher both have the ole folks spread now. I guess some of these so called actresses in Hollywood that are size 0 minus only have to wait some years and there you go.
Women, you don’t have to put up with this
My husband just told me a few minutes ago I was his best friend (as he is mine) and he was so glad he had married me, how others do not seem to get along, fighting all the time, yelling, upset- this is definitely not our life. Ladies, there are good guys out there- please look, don’t settle for more than you deserve.
well, of course the women
 would win! We have about four different versions of it.
that's what I mean. For women like you
whose husband is better looking than themselves, this story is especially insulting and hurtful. A very bitter joke (?)
I look far better than my husband, but I am not going to look for a 22-year-old, never came into my female mind.
A really good joke should NEVER insult anybody!
Excellent!!! More women should do this....
   
Women's work
I agree with the OP concerning professionalism. I believe it comes from anything that jobs that (primarily) women perform having the perception of not being serious work. If she is working at home, that perception is doubled. I also agree with having a schedule and sticking to it; plus if you have help to do your primary work, do it and don't feel guilty. Generally doing many things at once means you cannot do anything well in my opinion. But I do have to admit what works for one person doesn't work for others.
We know we have historically multi-tasked. I remember my daddy telling about my grandmother helping my grandfather with plowing at times, guiding the mule's head and leaving her baby under a shade tree, with a brick holding down the child's gown and the family dog keeping watch. She wasn't thought of as neglectful--just doing what had to be done. Unfortunately, women have to work harder and be smarter than men to be competitive and we just have to know in our hearts we contribute significantly to society. What's that old joke--luckily that's not too hard! 
why is it that women SEEM to be desperate in....
If things were so good with the OP with her current marriage, do ya think she'd be online reconnecting with anybody?!?!?!?!
So many women appear desperate to me in their 50s...and I don't know why because I'm in my late 50s and am never desperate sounding, appearing, etc......I just don't get it. And no, I have chosen not to be married any longer for the past 16 years......
you know that old sayin? want a man in my life, not in my house full time?!?!??!!
Good for you, but I'm just saying some women don't need or want a man....
thank you very much ;)
Women who shop with their
What is the deal with st**pid women who think they are special enough to take their dogs to the malls, grocery stores and other places these dogs shouldn't be? I was at Macy's today and a little dog in a woman's purse barked at people passing by. I made some rude comments to the woman but why do stores allow these people to continue to shop?
Unfortunately most men say that to women who are overweight.
Pay more attention to who he is checking out/drooling over on TV - bet it isn't Roseann Barr or Camryn Manheim! lol
I will never understand some women
It's a beautiful day today, and a co-worker was saying she'd love to go home and take her dog for a walk. But her husband is home sick and he won't let her go without him.
She does stuff like that all the time. I think the only place she's allowed to go by herself is work. She can't go to the grocery or get gas or to the drugstore without him. She has no friends other than their joint friends.
Drives me nuts. What kind of a life is that? I guess it's OK for her, but I would hate to always have to be chaperoned by my husband.
Women, what are you thinking?
You are staying with a guy because he is too big?? You are staying because of the kids?? This is not the dark ages. You are probably not slaves (although I did read the other day about some foreign folks being held slaves in another state somewhere). You have no idea how fast life goes by on you. I so wish I had done differently than to stay with a guy who did not treat me right- but having said that, years ago when I called the police to get away from my husband- and this was years ago- told they could not intervene being as we were married. Now, dear, times have changed. You can leave, can get assistance and can be in charge of your own lives. I wish a thousand times or more I had met this present husband and lead such a delicious life like now. You will wake up 1 day, believe me when i tell you this, and wonder what you have done with your life, where did it go, just like a flash you are in your 50s or 60s- don’t still be miserable when you reach the age where I am now. Life can be really good and beautiful. I have been down the same streets.
Some women go only with married men
I am totally not surprised at what you said. I have an ex-coworker and she goes with a married man, does not care and would not have it otherwise. She cares nothing about marrying him so this is not uncommon for women not to care-and the other way as well. Unlike the other posts above, this man is saying he no longer loves her. I probably would think, other woman, in a case like this. If I knew no one around, I would probably want to be closer to my family. A cheating man never ever changes- they might lie low for awhile but yours has not changed and gosh darn, I would never want to be with someone who caught a disease- he might bring something home that a shot just doesn’t work for! There are really good guys out there that will love and treat a woman right, don’t have to settle for someone who professes not to love you. Why beat a dead horse and stay because of kids. Not this lady.
sad to say-women will never be able to run Africa.
Women will never run Africa (who is Oprah kidding?!) as long as Arab terrorists known as Janjaweed are still controlling at least 80% of Africa.........
Women running Africa - Don't I wish!!! But it's more backwards there than here - and we know how most feel about having a woman run THIS country............. and for Africa it certainly isn't going to happen in our time or Oprah's time either........unfortunately.
Yup, there are skinny women
who have 2 teeth and a moustache who can't seem to climb up the evolutionary rung so I would say that statement was false. If I understood the odd statement...LOL
|
