Wishing you strength..sm
Posted By: Kathleen on 2007-12-16
In Reply to: thank you all for the advice and caring.....sm - Help me please...
I have been in your shoes more times than I wish to count, so I truly understand your feelings at this point. Discovery of a spouses infidelity seems to be akin to that of experiencing the death of a loved one. You go through all the ranges of emotion from excruciating pain, anger, resentment, etc. It is a death, in a sense, as it is more the death of trust..trust in someone you believed loved you and would never do anything to hurt you. trust in the vows you all exchanged during your wedding cerimony. Whether the marriage can survive this depends on many things, with the biggest question being why did he turn to someone else in the first place? He may not have *sought* her out, per se, but nothing stopped him once the temptation was placed before him. That is a sign of whatever is *wrong* between you and he may not even know the answer to that. He would have to delve deeply within himself to find the answer to that and he would have to be totally honest with himself and with you concerning that. And you have to be totally honest with yourself, as well, as to whether it would be worth it to try to get whatever measure of trust back that you once had. If you can't, then it is doomed. Marriage is a lot of work, and hard work. Some people just are not up for the task, as to throw it all away at the first sign of trouble is sometimes easier than working through the issues that brought you all to that place in the first place. My heart goes out to you, particularly at this time of year when everything is supposed to be so happy and peaceful. Follow your heart and the guidance of that *inner voice* inside you. It will never steer you wrong, if you are honest with yourself and what you want out of your life and marriage. Do what is best for YOU and not always the advice of well-meaning friends and family members. Good luck to you and your family.
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It will take a while to get strength up. I'm sure
aa
I wish you strength.
What a thing to have to face...
It seems like you, understandably, are in quite a bit of shock. Is there someone (wise) you can talk to so that you can sort some of this out in your head. Is there a free counseling service, pastor (even if not from your church) etc? If it were me, I would work to get my own thoughts together before confronting him, just to get an emotional toehold.
As far as feeling deceived, while it would be easy to lay this all on yourself, the fault is his. What was in his head to deceive you like this? What type of person is that? - I can tell though that he is someone you loved and that must hurt.
Take care.
I get my professional strength ones on ebay for really cheap
They are less than $5 and are the same exact stuff they use in the dentist office. I have been using them for years and everyone tells me that I have the nicest teeth.
I think we're all wishing we could be there! lol
Good for you and good luck! Please do update us.
Wishing I had used chargers!
I too have a really pretty dining room table. At Thanksgiving, I decided not to use a table cloth. I didn't use chargers, sure wishing I would have though. The heat from the plates left white marks on the table, 10 of them! Chargers will probably keep this from happening. I tried mayonaise on the spots, a tip from my mom. It didn't work. I sprayed furniture polish on it and let it sit and that helped some but I can still see it. I guess I have learned a lesson the hard way!
I've been wishing
he would die in a horrible car accident for YEARS.
Wishing you a speedy recovery! (NM)
dd
Wishing everyone a Happy Thanksgiving. sm
 I hope you all have something to be thankful for!!!
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