Why she might be interested in younger men . . .
Posted By: So sorry on 2007-02-14
In Reply to: internet love scams - sm
It sounds like your mother was devastated when your father died. Wow! Nearly 50 years together! If they had a happy marriage, she probably misses that closeness and wants to experience that again. And, maybe she's looking for younger men, because someone much younger is not likely to die before her. That means, she wouldn't have to experience the pain of being widowed again.
My uncle died just recently. He had been married to his second wife for just two years. His first wife died of cancer five years ago. And his second wife was widowed seven years earlier. When I spoke to his wife after the funeral, she talked about how horrible it was to be widowed twice, and that she didn't want to go through that ever again. But, she also talked about how lucky she was to have experienced two wonderful marriages.
Maybe your mother is looking for the same.... she wants another wonderful love in her life, but she's afraid of being a widow again. That would be reasonable, I think. However, she definitely sounds gullible, and she's looking for love in the wrong place! Has she had any grief counseling? Maybe you can talk to her about what it is she's really looking for. People do things because they are trying to fulfill needs. They repeat behaviors because there's some sort of payoff for what they're doing. She's getting something like a "sugar rush" when she meets these men online. Briefly, her fantasy is fulfilled. But, when the truth is revealed, she's devastated again. I know I'm sounding like a Psych 101 graduate, but that's really what it sounds like to me. She keeps doing this, because she likes that sugar rush. There has to be a way to break that, and to really find a way for her to be comfortable with herself.
I'm so sorry for her pain. She must be so sad after having lost her husband.
Complete Discussion Below:  marks the location of current message within thread
The messages you are viewing
are archived/old.
To view latest messages and participate in discussions, select
the boards given in left menu
Other related messages found in our database
Here it is for those who are interested
You were born together, and together you shall be forevermore.
You shall be together when the white wings of death scatter your days.
Ay, you shall be together even in the silent memory of God.
But let there be spaces in your togetherness, and let the winds of the heavens dance between you.
Love one another, but make not a bond of love: let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.
Fill each other’s cup but drink not from one cup.
Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf.
Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone, even as the strings of the lute are alone though they quiver with the same music.
Give your hearts, but not into each other’s keeping.
For only the land of Life can contain your hearts.
And stand together, yet not too near together, for the pillars of the temple stand apart, and the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other’s shadow.
I am very interested
in this. Where do I purchase the DVD? Thank you so much for this information. I hope you have a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year
Who is interested in this?....s/m
Did you lose all your teeth that you have to soak your bread in milk to make it mushy?
I do not think that your sex-life story belongs here, not even on the Gab board.
Tell us more about your sex life, then we will call it 'Porn Board'.
You are crazy!
I'm interested too. Is there anything less/about
xx
here's some info is anyone is interested sm
http://www.sweetpoison.com/aspartame-information.html
For anyone interested in adopting a pet
Here is a link where you can search on breed of animal and state. It's where we found Jake. Many excellent animals there, some of them just given up because owners didn't have the time for them, etc. My DH is worried we're going to end up with a house full of animals, but I wouldn't do that, limited time and great just with the one right now, although you never know... I've always been a supporter of animal rescue and participated volunteering for a puppy mill raid one time years ago, of course ended up bringing a dog home, but my other one needed a friend .
Update on hysterectomy for anyone who is interested. sm
Hi everyone. Well I had the hysterectomy this Tuesday done laparoscopically assisted and robotix assisted, so less trauma to the surrounding tissue. Have 5 very small cuts on my abdomen and uterus, tubes and right ovary (the only one remaining) were removed. It all went well. Stayed overnight at the hospital and came home Wednesday morning. Feeling really well. Was sore for the first couple of days and only had to take Motrin. Feeling really good today with hardly any soreness. I have to take it easy for a few weeks without any exertion, but otherwise feeling well and am so relieved it is over. So far no symptoms of hot flashes or anything, but I'm still waiting for that to happen, so we will see. I am happy to say I am please with the outcome so far and now I feel I can move on without worrying about that issue any more. Thanks to everyone who gave me advice and words of wisdom.
Here is his info in case anyone is interested
Truly I do not have that good a heart. This Christmas will be hard for my family. My mother, his grandmother who helped to raise him, died October 31 from lung cancer and we are all still reeling. I want to help him but, from a selfish point of view, I'm hoping that maybe getting involved in doing something for him and his buds will help me with the loss of my mom.
Blake is 20. He is married. He is a "good ole Georgia country boy" type guy, by his own admission. Loves trucks and Nascar, football, fishing, magazines related to those sorts of things. I know that phone cards are always welcome (they're only allowed to use AT&T ones for soem reason). He loves sweets but not particularly just chocolate. He likes taking pics when he is not otherwise occupied and he uses myspace to post his pics and keep us up to date with what's going on with him. It's funny (funny weird not funny haha) that he has fairly easy access to the Internet and very limited access to phones.
He is a really down-to-earth kid with a great sense of humor. He amazes me. He lost a guy in his unit, a guy he had been with since basic at Ft. Stewart, and has had a close call or 2 himself, but he takes it all in stride and stays grateful for what he has. He had been home on leave right before my mom died so he got some time with her, thank God.
The idea for the single drink mixes was awesome - I would have never thought of that.
If you would like to send Blake or his unit something, please email me for the mailing address.
Sounds like you are not yest interested
in another relationship. My kids were 3 and 8 when I was divorced, I felt funny about bringing any man around for a while, if I dated I only saw them the weeks I did not have the kids (my ex and I have joint with having them every other week). I have been divorced 12+ years and they only met 2 guys I went out with, the first I dated for 2 years, and the present BF I have been for 8 years.
If and when you are ready then you will get out there. But in the meantime, go out with friends, don't just sit at home. If you are in a church, go to all their social events, volunteer time at the local hospital or libraty, whatever. You never know when you must might meet someone to change your mind. One thing for sure, if you are staying home all the time you will never get a chance to meet anyone, they don't come knocking on the door.
Male or female so I will know if I am interested. NM
X
Pork roast...details below if anyone is interested
I do mine with tomatoes, basil and a clove of frash garlic and just a tad of oliver oil. I wrap that in foil and put it on the grill. I make this with red potatoes (slice partway open and put some butter inside, wrap in foil and grill also). I usually steam some green beans to go along with it, but this is a throw it on and forget about is for 45 minutes. Not great for those thighs but tastes heavenly!
you might be interested in this. I have a feeling we'll all be needing it.
99 Cent Store Cookbook
http://www.amazon.com/99-Cent-Only-Stores-Cookbook/dp/1598694693/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1208650285&sr=8-1
Description:
Tired of forking over hundreds of dollars for entertaining her friends and family, Christiane Jory made a decision. She challenged herself to create more than 100 gourmet recipes for appetizers, side dishes, main courses, and desserts-solely with items she found at 99¢ Only Stores! In this delightful, practical cookbook, Jory serves up delectable dishes, including:
Artichoke Spinach Bake on Homemade Pizza Bread
Green Beans Au Gratin
Chicken Tetrazinni
Pinot Noir Poached Pear Tart
This handy guide is filled with sample menus, a glossary of cooking terms, and space for creating recipes of your very own. Each recipe includes an estimated cost and helpful kitchen hints, such as uses for recycled milk cartons and how to freeze egg whites. Never again will finances be an excuse for not entertaining with pizzazz. With The 99¢ Only Stores Cookbook, feeding a family, playing host to five or six, or even simply cooking for one at home needn't cost a small fortune ever again!
Central WA - 4.09 a gallon. I'm selling my SUV! Anyone interested?
American Idol night! Anyone interested
in commenting/gabbing about the performances as they happen tonight & making predictions? I love when the competition starts getting tight like this.
I'd be interested...email me with site when it's ready!
I love accessories and all that that entails *sigh*
I don't think anyone would be interested in my boring hermit MT life.
x
Anyone interested in ALW broadway plays or NFL football?
As far as NFL, I have been, and always will be, a Minnesota Vikings fan. They have broken my heart so many times but I've been a fan 35 years now. I grew up about 90 minutes south of Cleveland and have never even been to MN. But I loved the color purple, the Purple People Eaters, Frank Tarkenton, Matt Blair, Chuck Foreman, etc. It's my second longest relationship (my family being my first - LOL).
As for Andrew-Lloyd Webber plays, I know every word to every song from Evita, Jesus Christ Superstar, Cats, and Phantom. I also love A Chorus Line (not an ALW play). I've seen it twice live and cried both times. Most of the dancers' stories are just so sad. "At The Ballet" is my favorite. Here's a youtube link. Watch the third girl who comes in during the song (Maggie - played by Kay Cole) and watch her belt out a high E like you've never heard. (around 4:54 into the song).
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8cPBWzsQ5zo
As a side note, the first girl who sings (Sheila) is played by Kelly Bishop who is on the Gilmore Girls (never saw show, just heard she was on it).
These people are the original Broadway cast.
I've seen Evita live several times as well as JSC. I actually got to see JCS with the original Jesus and Judas from the movie made in 1973 (Ted Neeley and Carl Anderson) at a performance in CT (Foxwoods Casino). Unfortunately, we lost Carl Anderson (Judas) to leukemia a few years back. There will never be another Judas like him, AFAIC. Godspeed, Carl.
So, anyone else an NFL or ALW/Broadway play fan? Anyone have any different Broadway plays they really like?
(my daughter's) Lost coat update for those interested - sm
Believe it or not after 3 weeks it has surfaced! One of the 3 girls I had not been able to locate a phone number on told my daughter today at lunch that she had it. She had not been in dance last week (and they did not have dance the week before). It was in her dance bag. She had picked up the scarf and coat (supposedly) because she saw Jess had left them, and then had forgotten about it which I find a little hard to swallow as she sees my daughter every day in school (in the same class/home room all day together). But regardless of all that, she came forward today about it. So I don't know why it took so long, but I am glad my daughter got them both back. So if he taking it was not so innocent I hope she learned something, and my daughter has learned to be a bit more careful with her things. 
hmmm...pretty quickly went from you ever heard of to contact me if interested
Why not call him at home or mail a note to his house & let him know you're interested? Or see if
s
younger men
My husband is 5 years younger, no problem with age here. My kids get a kick out of it and tell dad that Mom's the boss, because she's older!!
Younger Men
Age is only an indication of how long we have been on this earth. It does not determine our level of intellect, experience, class or style. As long as he is an adult and meets your standards and expectations, that is all that matters. I have seen older me that are a mess and younger ones that are a mess. It is a very individual thing. My husband is 8 years younger and we have a wonderful marriage.
when i was younger
had to move from our home because the owner wanted to remodel. we had been there 5 years.
I'm 7 yrs younger.
x
Wish I had read this when I was younger!
Everything you said was on the mark. Thanks for a great post!
Although I'm several years younger than you (47) I would
say that you are already working at your marriage. You keep the little spats from becoming big arguments, you have a good relationship with your husband, you trust each other, you enjoy his company and he enjoys yours. All of these things are what I consider working at marriage. Those who don't "work" on these things often end up divorced or miserable. Just thank God that you have a wonderful husband and a good marriage. I wouldn't worry too much about "working" on your marriage. Sounds like you're doing a good job of that already.
yes, she did have talent when much younger.....
She had talent when she was still a good girl........when she still had morals and ethics before choosing her so-many-wrong-paths.
just my opinion.......
Yep - love those younger men *lol*
 And I wouldn't have it any other way.....
I'm with man 4 yrs younger. Nothing wrong with it.
a
I love younger men
they seem happier and more spontaneous! I dated one 3 years younger (no big deal), I also dated one 5 years younger. Go for it, if that is why you are asking.
I am 50! You are younger than me. How is that for positive??? nm
.
Younger smartmouth
My stepson is only 5 years old and he is so disrespectful about backtalking. But God forbid if I say anything about it because my husband will jump down my throat. He lets that child get away with murder. He never punishes him by time out or anything. I just feel like by the time he gets 11 years old, he will be horrible. So I am pretty sure that this kid's parents just do not do anything about his smart mouth just like my husband does nothing about his kid's smart mouth. I just dont' get it.
In my younger days
I did a lot of drugs.
When my kids were a bit younger
I would always walk up to school at the end of the day and walk them home. One of my daughter's friends would walk with us and nearly every day ask if she could come over to play after school. I would nearly always say, oh, I don't care. She thought that was so cool - her mom always cared and it was always NO! I say, it's their house too, they can have anyone over if we are going to be home. If they aren't embarassed at the mess, I'm not either.
24.... 10 years younger!!! nm
nm
I LOVE younger men. Seems like all the ones I like,
Glad to be a cougar!
How many years younger?
Mine is 10 and the best thing I have run across.
13 years younger and....
FABULOUS. I never thought I'd have so much in common with someone so much younger but he's turned out to be a definite keeper.
I think younger guys are the best thing around...They're definitely the best angi-aging remedy around, lol!!!
GO COUGARS!!! :)
I'm not the younger generation and I don't sew either
I'm 46 and with the exception of a button here or there, I don't sew either. I also don't iron. My mother did all of those things, it just never trickled over to me. Now, my daughter can sew a few things and her best friend has her own sewing machine and sews quite well.
My younger left at almost 30 and
I hope they do fine and can maintain their own lives outside of mine. I love my own life, I travel quite a bit, do the things I want and to me the child rearing years not half as satisfying as my life is now.
Depends on what age 20 yrs younger is (sm)
If he is early 20s, I say he would probably be temporary. If he is 30 and you're 50...it could possibly work out.
19 months younger - nm
x
I am 6.5 years younger than my DH - sm
I have a friend who was about 8 years younger, she warned me not to do it as her DH never wanted to go anywhere or so anything. My DH likes to stay home but likes to go out and do stuff too, so that is not an issue for us. My dad is 12 years older than my step-mom, so for it is working for them, will see what happens when he gets infirm. (74/62)
For you younger gals out there. That K-Fed is hysterical! sm
I just read about his party in Chicago (I ran out of work!) and they were GIVING AWAY tickets to his concert last night! He got on stage and with his pants almost to his knees started rapping that he was "single" and if any ladies wanted to be with a pimp! haha! Yeah, what -idiot- would want to be with a guy who has a 2 year old with one woman, and 2 other kids under 2 with another woman (Brittney Spearks) PLUS has another 4 or 5 year old too! What is that - 5 kids?! Hilarious.
And, to boot, he's not making any money with this rap debut and Brittney will pay him 180,000 total in spousal support. Poor guy..
I've just never in my life been embarrassed for someone after reading a story about them! Good night. He was in a VIP room in Chicago letting his "entourage" try on his many gold chains. Isn't that the funniest fricken thing you've ever heard?! Well, he was probably trying to sell them to people so he could pay his child support. Which will be plenty when he's through divorcing.
Yeah, I want to be with a pimp like that. NOT!
The younger ones tend to have more 'stamina.' If the 2 of you get
ENJOY!
When they were younger I just worked while they napped - sm
and late into the night. So maybe 3 hours during the day, then from 9-1 or 2. I had a lot more stamina then, can't do that anymore. They are in school now, work about 5-7 hours during the day now and 2-3 hours at night after dinner (8-10 or 11), squeeze it in as early as I can in the evening as DH usually makes dinner, though I dish it out and the kids and I sit down to dinner together (DH eats later). As I don't have a set schedule this works out very well for me. I plan to alter this for the summer though somewhat by still working 2-3 hours at night, but get up early @ 5 or so, and try to be done my work by 9 a.m. so I can have the days totally free to do as I please with the kids. It will be a bit tiring, and I don't have to do this every day, but it will be worth it!
My stepson is 8 months younger than me (sm)
My ex was my age. He was a flop. Not that that experience kept me from dating men my own age. It didn't, and I wasn't seeking out an older man, either.
I became friends with my current husband at work. We were both side-by-side charge nurses. We had a lot of fun together and the residents loved when we worked together. I had the extreme pleasure of seeing what a caring, considerate, and gentle person he is to people he cared for at his job. He is unbelievable.
He knew I had a daughter from my ex. I knew he had 2 grown sons, one of them a few months younger than me. It was weird at first kissing on a guy with more wrinkles than I was used to. However, the fact that I was a nurse and had a child with an ex already meant to him that I had experienced some life already. I guess that made me fair game. :) The age thing does not affect us at all, especially now. At first it took getting used to, but now it is nothing. The only thing I fear is not having someone to grow old with, but nobody knows what will happen with their life day to day.
We subsequently had 2 more little girls together. We have 3 girls to raise now. I have since become a step-grandma to a wonderful little boy. We just celebrated our 4th wedding anniversary. I couldn't be happier. He never thought he'd have more children, but he thinks it is absolutely incredible to do again. He says he appreciates his kids more now that he's older. Not that he doesn't appreciate his older kids, it's just different.
I went to his 30-year class reunion. He was congratulated because of his young wife. LOL
I wouldn't date anyone much younger than me. I'd really be robbing the cradle. I prefer robbing the grave with the ol' hubby now. ;) Besides, it's a lot easier when they're older and broken in than when they have to be trained to do things.
Our relationship, though, is not like the stuff portrayed on TV shows. Our relationship is normal, happy, and positive. No big deal.
I just think this younger generation just needs to be taught! sm
I am a woman in my 30s. Got married almost 10 years ago. I lived up north for a long time and married a man from the "true" south. Okay. Here I go - and I may get flamed for this, but here I go...When I lived in NY, I NEVER saw a thank-you note or even saw anyone in my family write one. Never. So, I was never "taught" that you write thank-you notes due to my upbringing.
I think it is a cultural thing. Maybe it's even a socioeconmic thing. Yes, we were very poor growing up in NY. Both my parents made around 26,000 combined with 3 children.
Fast-forward. I move down here, meet this amazing guy with a large family - most have money - lots of it - we have a huge wedding - I receive more gifts than I could even count - met people at my wedding I've never seen before in my life - the southern generosity has been overwhelming, and still is. We go on our long honeymoon and when I get home, my MIL calls and says to me, "Mrs. so and so (from the wedding shower), still hasn't received your thank-you note. Maybe you just forgot to send hers out. In any case, just thought I'd let you know! EMBARASSING! So, I pulled out my thank-you cards that came with my wedding invites and began writing thank you notes. That is where the LOVE of writing thank-you notes and just-writing-to-say-hello notes began. I LOVE doing it now. Love it. My family up north and around the country are amazed.
Here again, I was TAUGHT by my new mother-in-law, so to speak, and she did it in a very tactful manner.
Writing notes is just an amazing ministry and I love to do it. I get them printed off and personalized now with either my initial or my full name. You can get them on ebay, they will print 20 of them for you with corresponding envelopes for around 10 bucks.
Anyways, this was my experience.
My hubby gets that, too. He was younger than yours the first time.
He passed out one night at 2:00 a.m. after getting up to go to the bathroom. Scared the cr@p out of me when I heard a big crash as his head hit the countertop and then the floor. I couldn't get the bathroom door open because he had crumpled against it. I finally got the door open but he was disoriented and even his lips had gone pale. I called the ambulance and we went to the ER in the middle of the night. His blood pressure and head CT were fine. They even tested him for drugs and alcohol because they didn't believe us that we don't do those things.All of his tests came back fine, so the doc diagnosed micturition syncope. The doctor told him to sit down when he urinates at night, and also to get more rest and stay hydrated. Yeah, those were some expensive medical bills for just fainting while he went potty.
Funny, one of my kids brought that up the other day. They vaguely remember being scared at having the fire truck and ambulance at the house, and then Dad being taken to the hospital. They just didn't know why.
Isn't that cute! Looks much younger than her age! Well maintained......sm
sm
Anyone go through a divorce w/younger kids? sm
I've been married almost 12 years and have an 11 y/o and 7 y/o. My husband and I have been fighting almost constantly for the past several months, mostly about him drinking. He had a problem with pot and other substances for about 5 years and finally went back to work a little over a year ago. Ever since then, he has been drinking at least 1/3 of a large bottle of vodka every night but doesn't consider himself an alcoholic because he still goes to work every day. Any time we fight, he threatens to end the marriage because "it just isn't going to work out anyway," while I have always felt you don't throw around the word divorce unless you mean it. Well, I mean it now. I gave him an ultimatum - straighten himself out or I leave with the kids. I am not going to go through 5 years of this again. It is affecting the kids, and my son is acting out to the point of saying he wishes he had never been born. I am giving my husband until after Christmas to decide what he is going to do, and if he does not value our marriage more than his alcohol, I am moving out of state. This is not to keep him away from the kids but because my parents (divorced also) are in a different state than I am and I have no family at all here.
Has anyone had to make a decision like this? I don't want to do this, but I feel I have no other options. He refuses to go to counseling or to see a doctor about what I am positive is depression. Any tips or suggestions? Sorry to dump on everyone like this, thanks for reading.
|
