Why is it doing the right thing makes you
Posted By: the bad guy? sm on 2009-04-01
In Reply to:
My son plays baseball. This year, the coach of the team he's on selected a few of the parents as assistant coaches. One of those parents was talking to my husband at practice and asked him where he worked. My husband told him he worked for the department of corrections. The asst coach then proceeds to tell my husband how he knows all about it because he was an inmate for 2 years when he was 18. He went on to describe his crime (theft) and what he did while he was there, etc. He has a kid on the team. After learning this, my husband talked to the security office at his job and was advised that he should request our child be transferred to another team b/c it was considered a breach of ethics for my husband to fraternize with an ex-inmate.
My husband discretely called the head coach of the team and explained the situation and then went on to call the league president to request a transfer. After a week of waiting for an answer, we were finally told that the league doesn't consider that fraternizing and that my child would remain on that team. However, the head coach removed the assistant coach from helping until the background checks were cleared. The head coach also went on to tell this guy that the reason for this was because it was a conflict for my husband for him to be helping. What? It had nothing to do with the fact that the guy is an ex-inmate and he's working with kids? Nothing to do with the fact that he seemed to be quite proud of the fact that he served time and decided to tell my husband about it as if making a connection? How is this my husband's fault?
Now, this guy's kid is upset and taking it out on my son on the field. He swears at him, throws the ball off so my kid misses it, etc. I know I should probably confront the head coach about it, but I'm afraid it'll make it worse. He didn't handle the last situation very well, so I don't think he could handle this one. Obviously, we can't talk to the parents. What do we do? We didn't ask them to remove this guy. We realize that he served his time and that it was a nonviolent crime and we have no issue with it other than it provides a conflict with my husband's job. We simply asked that my son be transferred to another team.
I should also mention that it puts my husband's job at risk, as he mgmt and is not protected by any union. Why is it were the bad guys when we: 1) didn't commit the crime, 2) didn't broadcast it to the other team parents that he's an ex-inmate, 3) didn't ask that they remove him from helping? I just don't get it. What's the best way to handle this situation with my son. He just wants to have a good time and play ball.
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Why is it doing the right thing makes you
My son plays baseball. This year, the coach of the team he's on selected a few of the parents as assistant coaches. One of those parents was talking to my husband at practice and asked him where he worked. My husband told him he worked for the department of corrections. The asst coach then proceeds to tell my husband how he knows all about it because he was an inmate for 2 years when he was 18. He went on to describe his crime (theft) and what he did while he was there, etc. He has a kid on the team. After learning this, my husband talked to the security office at his job and was advised that he should request our child be transferred to another team b/c it was considered a breach of ethics for my husband to fraternize with an ex-inmate.
My husband discretely called the head coach of the team and explained the situation and then went on to call the league president to request a transfer. After a week of waiting for an answer, we were finally told that the league doesn't consider that fraternizing and that my child would remain on that team. However, the head coach removed the assistant coach from helping until the background checks were cleared. The head coach also went on to tell this guy that the reason for this was because it was a conflict for my husband for him to be helping. What? It had nothing to do with the fact that the guy is an ex-inmate and he's working with kids? Nothing to do with the fact that he seemed to be quite proud of the fact that he served time and decided to tell my husband about it as if making a connection? How is this my husband's fault?
Now, this guy's kid is upset and taking it out on my son on the field. He swears at him, throws the ball off so my kid misses it, etc. I know I should probably confront the head coach about it, but I'm afraid it'll make it worse. He didn't handle the last situation very well, so I don't think he could handle this one. Obviously, we can't talk to the parents. What do we do? We didn't ask them to remove this guy. We realize that he served his time and that it was a nonviolent crime and we have no issue with it other than it provides a conflict with my husband's job. We simply asked that my son be transferred to another team.
I should also mention that it puts my husband's job at risk, as he mgmt and is not protected by any union. Why is it were the bad guys when we: 1) didn't commit the crime, 2) didn't broadcast it to the other team parents that he's an ex-inmate, 3) didn't ask that they remove him from helping? I just don't get it. What's the best way to handle this situation with my son. He just wants to have a good time and play ball.
makes me thing Anna Nicole wasn't so stupid after all. NM
.
Fabric softener makes towels softer, yes, but it also makes them less absorbent. sm
Which is, after all, the function of a towel, absorbency. :-)
Happiness is a heart thing; pleasure is a head thing.nm
this makes me sad...
Life is too short to be unhappy. If you don't love your husband and are not attracted to him anymore, then why don't you leave him? I can't imagine why people (both men and women) stay in a bad, unhappy marriage. It can't be worth the effort.
Thankfully, I am very happily married (though of course, we do have our bad times...) and can't imagine my life without my husband. But at the same time, I can't imagine being miserably married either.
You need to search your heart and really figure out how you feel about your husband. Good luck!
makes me sad, too. nm
x
Makes you wonder
how often this has happened with him over the 7-year period of his relationship with the other gal. I would be very cautious as the other posters say. Wait for someone who is worthy of you!
What makes you think she will?
I have always been very open with all of my children, and I have 4, 3 are grown, and they tell me everything. So far I have one who is in grad school and still a virgin because he said he refuses to have relationships just for the sake of having them, he'll wait until the "one" comes along. One is married. One is 18 and did have sex at 17 and said it was the worst thing he'd ever done and he wishes he would have waited. He told me about it the next day and was upset about it. My daughter isn't dating although she has 2 boys at the current time who are interested. She said "Mom I'm too young for that, I'd rather be friends right now." She also knows that should the time come when she IS ready for a serious relationship, she could come to me to help her make decisions and take full precautions. She in fact told the doctor she knows all about "crotch rot" and it isn't worth the risk. I have friends who say their children won't even talk to them if they need a laxative and that's really sad...if they can't talk to their parents, who will they talk to? So if my daughter tells me that she agrees she doesn't need it and her doctor said if she has no "at risk" behaviors she doesn't need it, then there's absolutely no reason to get it, esp considering there ARE side effects to it and it's new on the market, so the full effect won't be known for a few years.
this makes me want to
stop buying pet food all together and feed my animals food that I eat. Who knows what else has been poisoned with this, treats, other brands of foods, etc. I have been watching all my animals very closely, even though they don't eat any of the recalled foods. Scary issue.
Not OP but can you tell me who makes this?
You made it sound soooo good I have to try it! :)
Tell me about it- and what makes me mad
is if you struggle for 2-3 years and slowly pay off all your creditors like I did, you can't get credit to save your life.
Yet if I had just declared bankruptcy and let them all go I would be rolling in credit by now because they know that you can only declare it every 7 years so they figure you are a better risk. I think that kind of logic is kind of questionable and definitely unfair. I don't really want a bunch of credit cards any more but I do have to have credit to buy a car and/or a house someday and then what? Pay 35 percent interest??
Me makes 3!
Hope you don't mind another neighbor hopping into this string. Finally saw someone close to my area and it made me smile. I'm originally from near Hershey, but relocated to close to Altoona this past January. It's not quite as close to Pittsburgh as you all, but it was close enough for me to want to say hi! Felt good to see a post from "my region" ... feel like I'm all alone in this MT world sometimes LOL
Makes me wonder if he
is gay or something. This is really weird!
And that makes it okay?
He's an elected official; he is held to much higher standards than the general public. That attitude is why the exploitation of women is so accepted in our sick and twisted society...geez!
My ex makes a lot more $$ than me so
he pays 75% of expenses, I pay 25%.
Makes me think of someone I know.....ME!!! lol!
Thanks......that was a good laugh.....
too familiar!
Sneaser
Makes me wonder...
if the delivery person gets this surcharge or the company keeps it.
That makes 2 of us!
Me too! - that makes three of us.
I did get married outdoors at a location of a famous movie though!
OH, THAT MAKES ME SO MAD!! My
ex-husband would literally refuse to let them in, no matter how they tried to push in front of us.
That just makes me ill
Talk about milking the system for every little penny they can get. Seven kids and ANOTHER on the way! What a bunch of scum! Get a real job and stop reproducing!
That just makes me ill
Talk about milking the system for every penny you can get! There are many people out there who actually NEED that kind of help and can't get it! These scum bangs need to stop having so many kids just so they can sit at home being lazy and not get an actual job while our tax dollars pay for them being so irresponsible!
Whenever she makes a comment that you
suspect is made as a dig, try smiling pleasantly and saying, "What?" and waiting for a reply. If she is trying to be mean and trying to slip it by everybody else, she may not be willing to explain what she meant. If you do it every time, not quite hearing or understanding those comments, you will tire her out because her zing didn't hit.
Oh, well THAT makes it so, huh?! Look, CHRIST is
I don't hate Santa. But this business of "thank God for Santa" is utter sacrilege.
I'm tired of hearing how Santa is what keeps everything good and the hope alive. BULL.
Christ. Remember that name. Christ.
All of you who are ga-ga over the commercialization business of Christmas -- that is nauseating, it is sacrilegious and it flies in the face of God.
Pathetic.
Thanks - makes me wish my kids were little again.
nm
it actually makes no sense
to sell a sound, healthy horse at auction for a fraction of the price that can be sold outright. If the horse is too slow to race ont the track they can and are used in other disciplines. Its hard to believe that practice is widespread. When a horse finds its way to auction there are other underlying reasons..
OMG that makes me SO homesick.
I don't like her, but this makes sense to me.
nm
That makes me sick.
nm
money just makes you more of what you already are -
Human garbage in his case. Cannot stand to see those given so much just disregard the rules of society. Shame on him. So glad he is going to jail!
Your post makes me sad
If hunting bear because only thing you had to eat as in some eskimos, I could understand. I do not understand hunting these magnificant animals for sport, blood sport at that. I went to Alaska and loved it, saw bears out in the open but also saw bears that were hunted for sport and just to be killed for what, macho man? I am so sorry your husband and others do this.
You are right, everyone makes mistakes
but like you said they are held to a higher degree of accountability.
If you have every worked in a hospital, in any capacity, even as an MT, you know that there is a system of checks balances for everything from dietary and housekeeping to OR employees. There is a reason why these systems including HIPAA, OSHA, and JHACO are in place. Sadly, there are always those few doctors (thank goodness for the nurses' who commonly save their rears such as in this case) who think they are above "policy and procedure." This might be a simple case of someone needing to be reminded that they are not above any protocol and they can make serious mistakes very easily.
That makes me curious...how old were YOU the SM
first time you had sex (not that it's any of my business, but I'm just curious).
I was 16. I wish I had waited until I got married. But hormones got the better of me. I was sooo "in love" with this older guy and finally gave in to his daily requests for sex.
I knew about birth control, but was raised that it was "wrong" to use birth control....which is ironic as I was raised it was wrong to have premarital sex too! LOL
I'm just really glad I didn't get pregnant until after I was married, but it was definitely a possibility.
So, I think we shouldn't judge her too harshly.
JMO
Snickers
wow..your post makes me sad
teenagers should not "always use condoms". teenagers should abstain. It is because we choose not to teach this that we have this problem. I will never just accept the "since the beginning of time" attitude.
and THAT makes him a nonconformist which is
x
do it also. Is there a technique she has that makes
x
But he is a good kid..he makes A's and B's...all that.
nm
What makes you think he's cheating on you?
p
As an MT, this just makes me ill. I mean, she is a celeb, but NO different than anyone sm
else. Check out what I found about Britney's stay at the hospital:
According to our source:
Britney is isolated in her own ward, in a private room remodeled just two days before she arrived (they must have been expecting her) with round-the-clock security watching her every move.
Only people authorized by her doctors are allowed to see her; two doctors were already suspended for trying to get a peek at her file.
If Britney does want to visit a common area, all other patients (as well as unauthorized personnel) must evacuate.
Apparently, before Britney was admitted, the medical center had a huge staff meeting with all employees to discuss Britney protocol, and the consequences of any rule-breaking.
UCLA is apparently taking Brit's safety extremely seriously, trying to avoid any situation in which Britney could be taken advantage. It sounds as if they are definitely doing their jobs, but at what cost?
thanks. that makes more sense anyway
just like it's redundant to have prayer request and Christianity.
Ya know, that makes no sense to me
There are bosses and I expect them to make more than me, my gosh, if not then I would have tried to be high on the totem pole- I care nothing about running a business, done that before, am just as happy as I want to be with the salary I make and concerns me not that people like Trump and others make more- they work a lot harder than I do or have in the past.
That makes sense (nm)
x
This is what makes me happy
Watching momma birdie tending to her little hatchlings...
makes me happy
What a great photo and so close. Makes me jealous, but glad you can enjoy the best of what nature has to offer.
what makes you think we would be the same as Canada
right?
Well this makes me feel better
We tend to eat out quite a bit on the weekends, although we never intend to. We usually eat out on Friday night, then sometimes on Saturday for lunch and dinner, then usually cook on Sundays...if I feel like it and we've had a chance to go to the store. Anyway, it's nice to see we're not the only ones who do this...
First, do your homework on different makes - sm
and models. Read customer reviews of their cars, what they like, don't like about them, maintenance, etc.
Once you've decided on a model, start looking. I found shopping online was the fastest & easiest way to do it. Whether you shop online, or at a dealership, before buying anything, sign up for "CARFAX.COM". When you find something you're interested in, get the vehicles's VIN (vehicle identification number) and then go home and run a Carfax on it. It can tell you important things - like whether the car was in any major collisions. You don't want to buy something that has had a bent or broken frame that's been spot-welded back together for quick resale! (One reason why it's not good to buy at car auctions...)
You can also see where the car was originally sold, and usually you can get the true mileage of it, but now always. I wanted a car that didn't come from anyplace where it snowed all winter and they salted the roads, because that can cause corrosion underneath.
So now you've found a car, it passed the Carfax, and you want to make a deal. Let me tell you, the sellers are falling all over themselves right now to make a deal! I found my car at a dealership. (I had run the Carfax on it before I even went out to test-drive it... saving valuable time.) I liked it, and wanted MY personal mechanic to check it out. Amazingly, the dealership agreed, even though my mechanic was about 30 miles away! (All I had to do was sign my life away on a bunch of forms, and they let me take it there.)
The car passed the exam, except that the mechanic said to get the radiator flushed and refilled pronto... the fluid in it was ancient! The dealership did that for me immediately.
As for price, do your Blue-Book homework, too. Of course you won't get it for Blue-Book, but if you figure a certain percentage of profit for the dealer, you'll come out at a fair offering price. What I did THEN, was go to the bank and get a cashier's check made out for my first and final offer, which was FIRM, as that's all I could afford to pay. Beforehand, I had let them know (truthfully!) that a similar, cheaper car had been on a dealer's lot just down the street, and the only reason I had tried this car first was that the first car was on a display rack out in front and several cars had to be moved before I could test-drive it. They were too slow in doing so, and as a result had lost the sale!
So we talked money for a few minutes, and when their "rock-bottom" price was still about $900 more than I had, I put the cashier's check down on the table (made out to them!) in front of them and said, "That's all I've got."
The salesman went to talk to the manager, and they accepted my offer.
That was about 7 years ago, and I STILL love my car! I'll probably drive it for the rest of my life. (And best of all, it's paid-for!)
Although not easy to do in this economic setting, years ago I was driving a very old vehicle, and had started socking money away for a down-payment on a new car. When that time drew nearer, because the type of car I wanted was too expensive new (Toyota 4Runner), that's when I'd done my homework about used ones, and found they pretty much last forever. So buying a used one wasn't as much of a risk as it is with some vehicles, though I didn't want to buy it from some guy who'd been out 4-wheeling the h_ll out of it, either. Luckily the car I'd found had been a corporate car, and had relatively low mileage. (Less than 50,000 - which meant I could extend the warranty on it.)
Of course, Carfax doesn't solve EVERYTHING, but at least you go into a deal armed with SOME knowledge about the vehicole you're buying, and every little bit helps.
Even better was this: After I got my car, I got an email from Carfax asking me to tell my story and send in a photo of me and my car. So I did. They ended up using it in an ad, so they sent me an Amazon gift certificate for $100! I needed a photo printer, and got one on Amazon the very next day. (Canon i850 - which also still works great, and has never given me a moment's trouble!)
A lot of my good car-buying experience was luck, but a lot was also preparation and information-gathering. I hope your car-buying experience is as easy and as successful as mine was.
Best of luck, & happy driving!
It really makes me sick
that psychiatrists these days are so quick to say "just cut ties and get on!"
Have you tried couples counseling like suggested above? Or talking? Maybe speaking with a pastor? Is your husband expecting this or is it going to be a big surprise?
Don't just give up on your marriage. Just because it's not the fairy tale every little girl dreams of doesn't mean that it can't work out and become amazing. But it takes work. Lots of it. There is no such thing as an easy marriage.
Take care, and please, don't just go off of what your psych says!
No one is as helpless at this guy makes out - sm
He is a mooch. More power to you if you can deal with constant harrassment. The OP cannot and I am sure most of us could not deal with it for any length of time either. He is so helpless he cannot figure out in order to pay his bills he must work--well I guess he has figured out he has to pay his bills and who can he get to pay them for him so he can do nothing all day but sit and feel sorry for himself. Neither the mom or the daughter has the money to help, and why should they, especially the mom, she supported his butt for years. He can go get welfare if he is so "unable" to work, they will laugh at him when they see an able bodied male with a ways of supporting himself but choses not to. The daughter has her own bills to pay and why should she put herself in the hole for him if he has never made any effort. It is really pitiful. --boy my FIL complaining that he was dying (all the time) when he got diagnosed with bladder cancer was annoying enough, so I know having a dad calling every 15 minutes to get sympathy and beg for money, and track you from place to place, would drive me absolutely bananas (might drive them to suicide just to get away from him).
31 -- makes me happy because...
... that's 30 years younger than the rest of me, as of tomorrow!
another point, cause this makes me so mad
You grouping all pitbulls together is like grouping any other thing together and acting like EVERY part of that group is the same. For example, are all white people from the South White Trash? Are all black people lazy? Are All Mexicans illegal? Are all Republicans war mongers? Are all Democrats gay?
Just such a ridiculous statement I'm still fuming about it. and im not even a pitbull owner.
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