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Why do you assume she married the money?

Posted By: T on 2008-05-13
In Reply to: Perfect example of a woman who married the money - being all snobbish and haughty.

Jealous much?


I can't speak for her, but I've been married for 13 years and my husband certainly wasnt making 6 figures when I married him. Some people have goals in life, and do things early on in their life/career to help them attain those goals. 


Plus, you act as if a 6-figure income is rich and let me tell you, it's far from it (assuming she is on the lower end of that 6 figures as our household is). 


I'm not trying to slam anyone, honestly, it just amazes me some of the things people are posting to save money and makes me wonder how they can be content with their job/life if they have to struggle that much.  This is still America, the land of opportunity, and we all have a chance to better ourselves if we choose to do so.  Granted it is harder these days than say, 10 years ago, but it is still possible. Cripes, there are illegal immigrants living better off than it sounds like some of you are!




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Perfect example of a woman who married the money

How much money rasied for Katrina, how much money for the diasters due to the tidal waves and what?
Every single one of them have had some smoke around it with the money not getting to where it was supposed to go. I did not contribute, I hardly watched, was not caught up again as I have seen things like this before. They should give a all you can give benefit for Darfur where people are being massacared each and every day. Genocide going on there each and every day. I have not seen any benefits to help them out yet.
That's quite a lot to assume that because
I don't attend church that I don't worship.

Sounds like maybe you need to do a little more worshiping!
Yes! Thanks very much. I assume I can buy the
wicks and scents from Walmart/Target craft department?
Please do not assume (sm)
That I have "never picked up a Bible or attended church much at all."  You would be wrong.  I do not believe in judging people and telling people who will go to Heaven and who will not.  I wouldn't presume to tell anyone that their loved one will not go to Heaven because of their religion - and unless you happen to be the Second Coming personified, you shouldn't either.
I assume you said...sm
rebellion because she chose to keep her maiden name. We don't discuss that in our family. LOL
you cannot assume
that she is on welfare. Maybe she is. but if so, do you really think that monetary compensation for the babies would hold a light to all she has to do to take care of them now and heart aches to come for the next 20 years? My concern is more for whether she LOVES her children and raises them well than the money and where it comes from.
That's a lot to assume. Everyone has bad days.
Everyone shouldn't be so quick to judge!

Even though I'm not in the mood, I usually give my husband a smile or something. He usually just smiles and then leaves me alone. I think sometimes even if they aren't getting anything they still just want to feel wanted, ego boost, whatever you want to call it. :)
When you assume....you are usually wrong..
as you were in this case...I used to live on a corner lot and when working away from home broken into probably 6 or 7 times, had to have bars put on the windows, stolen from- my son went by the house once and called me and told me he was there as were the police, just broken in on. One time I was at home, the house dark and someone entered the door thinking no one was there. Oh, by the way, had an exhusband who also stalked me for a long time. Please do not assume when you don’t really know about someone else. Unlike others considering being paranoid, just things happened to me like it happens to others- I just got over mine...
So, since he's divorced twice, do we assume that it

Isn't there such a thing as he divorced the wives?  Are you catching my drift?  I guess we automatically assume it was "his" fault, and never the woman's?  Just a thought.  I say just take it slow, but it is so much fun to have that initial spark, and if it continues, then great. 


I'm not sure of specifics, I assume it was
T3, T4 and TSH. Are there others they can check if these are normal? Everything I read says if thyroid usually these levels are affected. I appreciate all of your responses. I'm very nervous.
I am told never assume as you did
because you are usually wrong and such is the case here, and by the way, you are excused.
don't assume a 29-year-old is
responsible, either. My sister still lives at home (27) and my parents do her laundry, tell her to pay her bills, make her supper and clean her room. The age of the sister isn't the issue here.
assume this is true. God help you
and get away from him. get to the women's shelter, in fact, you probably need the witness protection program. he cannot legally drop insurance on the kids with a court order. There has to be someone legal to help you and the women's shelter or crisis abuse hotline knows all the numbers. outside of your kids it does not sound like you would be leaving much behind if you just went with what you could carry. I would take ANY death threat seriously and the fact he is now turning it on the kids is worrisome. Good luck.
Assume the smoking outside will not last. sm
I've lived with smokers. They all say they'll only do it outside. They ALL eventually revert to doing it inside. Especially when you are the only non-smoker. Consider how this will affect you. They may be awesome, but they're awesome smokers.
assume you are talking about sm
Something called big love, it's disgustingly funny, watch it so I know what some will do in the name of the Almighty One. I am a God-loving person but give me a break, please!! Let's just see if wife #4, the waitress gets to join the love fest. Yuk! Double Yik, yuk! Throwing up!
But her money is her money to spend as she pleases -
I don't understand how you can think it is wrong for her to spend whatever she wants to on whatever she buys. It is their personal money they spend. It is not like they are saying give me those shoes and add it to the taxpayer's bill.

And in all actuality, they are saying spend, spend, spend to get the economy going.

I am sorry, I am jealous that some people still have plenty of money to spend and I don't, but I don't expect those people to quit spending just because I had to.
Not true. Don't assume because you store something somewhere
that the person storing it is liable if something is lost or stolen. In fact, I had stuff stolen from a storage facility and they were not liable. Luckily my homeowners insurance paid.

In this case I believe both husbands were at fault. OPs husband because he chose rest rather than being sure that the quads were safe....and BIL because he shouldn't have accepted responsibility for the quads if he didn't feel he could store them safely. Both should take equal responsibility for the loss IMO.

I assume you're single.......
You need to call this guy. Call him at the office with a "question" and see where the conversation takes you.....Good luck!!!
And you assume you are the only woman this has ever happened to??
Unbelievable. I have gone thru exactly the same thing, abused, mistreated, broken arm, blackened eyes. What does that have to do with forgetting other than possibly all those hits to the head. My children do not motivate me to remember. My dear, loving husband does not motivate me. My loving cats do not motivate me. No one can motivate me to remember, just ain't there. Very responsible person, pay all my bills, run 3 different homes, rentals included, write things down or give to hubby like I said so I won't misplace. I call that pretty responsible. I think no one should assume about another person's life when they really don't have a clue as to what they have been through.
and I assume they have all signed HIPAA
contracts!  Sorry about your loss.  That is a crowded workstation.  Why do my cats think they can sit in my lap while I type?
Why do you assume we're "behind"? sm
I think you'll find just the opposite to be true. Most of the therapies have come from adult stem cell research done in the US, or by American researchers in collaboration with those from other countries.

More to the point, and I hate to keep having to say this, my original post took no position against ESC research. I only pointed out that it does not appear to hold the promise that those who are grabbing for federal tax dollars would have you believe, that it has had a number of problems (such as seeding people with cancer), AND that it is a grave mistake to open these doors without due consideration for the potential risk to human embryos.

Let's think about this last point for a minute. It seems that this sort of precipitous action is becoming a habit with this administration.

We see this in the precipitous passage of the bailout package without the five days promised to read it.

We see it with Guantanamo, releasing terrorists BEFORE conducting the review that Obama himself promised.

We see it in the debacle of the proposal to Russia to dismantle the missile shield if Russia would help with Iran, which was releasedto the American press before it was discussed with Russia in displomati circles and, as a result, getting a world-class come-uppance when we were turned down like a bedspread by Putin.

I could go on, but this President is proving to be distressingly naive, politically inept, and impulsive. Whether it's throwing $billions at "fixing the economy" without proper safeguards, ESC research without proper safeguards, releasing Guantanamo prisoners without proper review, announcing the date of withdrawl from Iraq months in advance, or releasing sensitive diplomatic information to the press prematurely, the Obama administration needs to grow up and slow down.

One almost has the sense that Obama knows he will only have four years, and if he doesn't become much more measured in his actions, he just might be right.
oooooooh nooooooo....dont assume anything

NOT on line.  I went to a party....much like tupperware or candle party.  Only women.  It was so darn much fun - in fact, I think it was called a *Fun Party*.  It was done tastefully, as much as possible considering it started out with this 2 or 3 foot plastic/rubber phallus in the middle of the floor.  The hostess explained all the products and how to use them, etc., etc.  She even let you try out some samples of things, privately in a separate room if you wanted.  And when it came time to order, that was done privately also.  If you wanted to tell your friends what you bought, you could.  If you didnt want anyone to know, that was up to you.


We did have refreshments and, no, hot dogs were not served.


Come to think of it, we were mostly all transcriptionists there!  Ages from 20s to 60s.  We all worked together.  I guess we MTs are just a fun lovin bunch!!!


Nope - we assume it'll be tough

I think boomers are the last of the "fix it" generations - able to make simple repairs, jump a stalled vehicle, do things "the hard way/old fashioned way" on manual, non-electronic office equipment and machines, tell time on a wind-up non-digital clock.


Many people from younger generations admit they know how to do very little unless it happens to be their college-trained specialty.  Things boomers take for granted as normal life skills like


Sew up a rip in clothing or replace a button


Pull a car out of a ditch or change a flat tire


Cook dinner from scratch, and substitute ingredients in a pinch


Do long division on paper instead of a computer, and make change without electronic help


Many who don't know, don't want to learn - they always assume there'll be someone out there they can hire to do it for them.  As a boomer I've always been shocked and dismayed at younger generations blithe lack of self-sufficiency.  Seems like they don't know how to do anything - and don't want to know.


I guess these are the times when people just assume without knowing...
I said when I answered her call "She seemed out of sorts, curt reply, telling me to call her back." Well, with all "assuming" that is going on, I assume people are not reading the post as I stated. If she thinks I am angry, I have told her to ask me. A person who assumes is wrong a lot of the time- as you were here.

It's just as rude to assume everyone will want to drop everything to talk to you when you call. n
nm
Most people would assume mom was cremated and waiting to bury urn
at least that's what I think.
I married the same man 3 times and still married to him.
Together for almost 29 years now.
Married?
I get the idea this guy might possibly be married and living with his wife in another city. If you continue to see him, 2 months is no time to clamp down on him to ask him about where the relationship is going. You sound as if the situation desperate. If not married on his part (I probably would check this out really good)you give a man plenty of rope. If they care for you, they will be there like a little puppy dog, if not then you have your answer. Again check for a license.....Living in another city, seeing you once a week, sounds really like a hmmmmmmm to me.
Are we married to the same man?...sm
Im stuck in the same situation pretty much.  My husband does very little to help me in any way, shape, or form except when it suits him.  I do the bills, most of the housework (he occasionally puts up dishes and sweeps the kitchen), all the child care (for 3), make all the phone calls, etc., everything.  When I want to go somewhere there is always a big deal made...when he wants to go somewhere (even when I NEED him here so I can work if I get behind) he will go.  I almost NEVER get out of the house without one or all children (if I get out)...when HE wants to go somewhere he does not want any of them to come.  I think those so wondeful marriages are few.  All I think about is leaving, but the kids....they love him.  You cant work with someone when they wont work with you.
did she know how he was before she married him?
nm
I think we are married to the same man!!
Not only does my husband blow EVERYTHING way out of proportion, but he suffers from narcissistic personality disorder! I lie to my husband anytime there is an issue that I know will really upset him and his own mother backs me up b/c she knows how enraged he becomes. I too feel guilty but having peace in my home is far more important to me. He definately needs some counseling and probably a good anti-depressant. I think the tape recording idea is excellent and I have always wanted to try it myself. Maybe if we let them see how ridiculous they sound they will wake up to their behavior. I feel for you b/c I have been in the same boat for 9 years now. I just keep praying and keeping the faith that one day he will change.....before I have a nervous breakdown!!
Very much married but ....
my eyes know beauty when I see it!
We had 2 --- they were my DHs before we married - sm
The one was a pure-bred with champion lines, the other a puppy mill dog. As stated below they can live very long. The PB lived to about 14 before she got cancer and we put her to sleep when she got too sick; the other was 16 before she got sick too and had to be put to sleep when she got too sick too. The first one was a bit mean though, fine with adults but did not like kids to mess with her and would bite/nip if a kid got to close; luckily she never made contact but not for lack of trying. We had to muzzle her at the vet. Great watchdog though. The other one was quite a yapper and dumb as a stick but quite a sweet dog and very loving, ate everything in sight though and she ended up quite porky. Sweet dog though. They are good dogs and I would not mind having another some day.
If you are not married I don't think you can do that - sm
though I am not sure about that, but it makes sense. He could add any kids they had but not the ex-wife. (he would have to lie and say they were married I believe) Also if for some reason his job pays for it then he is getting off scot free, though there are probably not many jobs that pay for it in full now days (my DHs used to pay for it until about 2 years ago, and now we pay but only about $150 a month for a family of 4, so it is a steal, and very good insurance luckily). Personally I would not do it, he should just try to pony up and pay a little more each month to get current again (get a second job if he has to); $1K is not that far behind, what 2 months maybe? He can just work a little harder to pay her.
You married her son, right?
Then apparently her way of bringing up a child did not harm him, is that true or did you marry some dunce? I guess she might have a little sense- you have to re-educate her?
was it like this when you first married...
nm
but most of these are not actually married sm
The man usually only marries the first wife and the rest are not legal marriages.
yep...got married.
sheezh
Where did you get married?

A church, city hall, a park, on a beach, on a sailboat, a private home, a cabin in the woods, other? Was it in the U.S. or a foreign country?


I got married (eloped) in a chapel. It had 4 pews in it. Made in the U.S.A.


We got married
in the country by my husband's nephew's backyard pond. It was beautiful. I walked down on a long white aisle runner and stood under a decorated trellis. Wouldn't have traded an outdoor wedding for the world.
had to be married twice the same day.
Married at a beautiful,famous restaurant in the state of Kentucky. Lived in Cincinnati, Ohio, which is right across the bridge from Kentucky. At the last minute the rabbi said "I can't marry you there, I am not a licensed Rabbi in the state of Kentucky. We were married legally early in the morning at 8:00 am at the rabbi's house in Cincinnati where he was licensed as a rabbi, in his flannel shirt, his wife in her housecoat to witness the wedding, my hair had not been done yet by the hairdresser and was standing on end, so much for the groom seeing the bride 24 hours prior. At 12:00 noon the wedding progessed in Kentucky with 350 guests and 32 yards of chantilly lace in my gown, but we were already married. The ceremony was for show only.
I was married at 17 and had her...
and she was married at 17 and had the first of my grandchildren. I am now 48 and have 7 of them....all is well and it's true, grandkids ARE better than your own! You can send them home when you are done spoiling them. BTW, both my daughters are done having kids, so that's it for me!
When I was married, my ex said..
...he was glad I didn't call all the time like some of the other men's wives did where he worked.  We worked similar hours so I really didn't have the opportunity and neither did he to be on a telephone.  When we separated though, he brought up the fact that I never called him and didn't sound interested the rare instance when he called me.  Go Figure!  I called if there was something that simply wouldn't wait until he got home and vice versa!   I've never used the telephone like lots of people, even as a teenager.  Do better with letters and cards, dinosaur that I am, and love email.  My daughter lives about 1-1/2 hours away.  She and I went on a short 3-day vacation when she and her fiance were engaged.  He called 3-4 times a day and I became pretty irritated, even though I tried not to show it.  I try to leave them alone to live their life and wish he would let us enjoy each other once in a while.  She and my granddaughter came one evening to my house recently and we went to dinner and a gymnastics meet.  They were here about 5 hours total and he called 3 times during that time!!  Feels like he does not trust her.  
mostly yes (still married now x27 yr)
Would you ever date/marry.....

someone who is less educated than yourself?
I did. I had 2 yr of college, husband left school in 8th grade (to professional sport).

someone of a different race?
I've dated people of several different races. If all else was right, probably would.

someone whose parent's are divorced?
depends upon the sticktuitiveness of the person, and their moral compass.

someone who has bad credit or alot of bad debt?
Probably not, unless there were good explanations.

someone who is overweight or obese?
yes.

someone who affliates or supports a different political party than yourself?
Yes.

someone who is rude to customer service staff?
My husband was often rude and arrogant. Its not a good quality, but he has changed and so, I might do it again (if I were younger).


someone who talks a longtime on their cell phone when you are eating?
Probably not. That kind of inconsideration may be too hard to change.

someone who enjoys a different genre of music?
yes, mate does now.

someone who does not enjoy the same leisure activities as yourself?
yes, you don't have to do everything together. If you have the same morals, life goals, and some things you enjoy together, that would be sufficient.

someone who is a very picky eater or someone who is a vegeterian/vegan and you are not?
yes.

someone who prefers to spend leisure time alone or with friends (without you)?
Maybe not, unless it was a lesser part of of lesisure time spent away from me.
.....

not married but
met my fiance at a yard sale!
I was married outside the
Catholic church, and then later had my marriage sanctioned by my priest, after returning to the Catholic church. No problem. Does not matter where or if you were married at a different church first. My husband, who is not Catholic, just had to agree to raise our children Catholic. I would recommend your daughter and her Fiance consult a different priest at a neighboring parish, or possibly even contact your Diocese and express your concerns to the Bishop. I bet this would not be the first complaint on this priest. What this priest is asking of them them is not typical or normal of the Catholic Church. Sounds like he is on a power trip. Good luck!

bern
Are you sure they were acutally married??

Are you sure they actually got married?  Now THAT would be a shocker.  Wasn't he the one who dated all the beautiful high-maintenence women, and the one he picked was the kind of air-head blonde?  I didn't know they actually were married.  Where did you hear that? Wow...


Yes - the wedding was on TV, he married
he did marry the air-head, he called her princess.
Actually I am happily married
I have experienced this though with my in-laws.  Grandmother divorcing grandfather as a matter of fact.  She said she did not want my husband, nor I, nor my children talking to him simply because she was tired of him.  She now calls him herself.  But with such loss in our family grandparent-wise, I just did not think it was fair to the children to cut off yet another superb figure in their life.  So, whatever their problem was belonged to them, not Pop-Pop and my children.  It is just so often that children suffer in this manner.  Family members just yanked from their lives because the parents have a hang-up.  It just sounds like more of a jealousy issue on the mother's part in this case.  Maybe she has a hard time accepting the fact that her ex has these girlfriends and her only pawn are the children.  It happens over and over again.  I am not a product of divorce, but my husband is and believe me it is no lie that children suffer even into adulthood for that matter.  I just think that we as women need to be above this type of nonsense.  Unless there are founded facts that the girlfriend is abusive in some manner, then why shouldn't she be allowed to call?  Oh well, mute subject, I guess.  I just feel bad for the children.  Have a nice day!   
How Long Have You Been Married?

My hubby did that after we were married about a year or so.  He just liked my stuff, i.e., lotions, body wash, etc...He was my Ken doll; I would "dress him up," fix his unruly, naturally curly hair, buy his shaving cream and cologne, etc...Since we would shower together, he would wash with what I washed with (usually Sun-Ripened Raspberry!) and if I took a shower before him, he would yell and ask where my body wash was.  Before we got together, he washed his body with shampoo instead of soap/body wash.  Men like to do that for some reason.


However, since that started soon after being married, I didn't think it was worrisome; just cute. 


I, personally, wouldn't worry, but I don't know your husband.