Why I stuck with MT after midlife crisis college degree
Posted By: CrankyBeach on 2009-06-18
In Reply to: see message - starting over
Lot of reasons, actually, not the least of which was that I was making some seriously good money as a medical biller at the time--and I hadn't burnt out yet. (I was also doing the transcription for 2 practices locally.) I also had an insane stubborn loyalty to my boss, and didn't want to leave him in the lurch. I got out of billing 2 years ago (well past burnout by then) and came home full time, still doing the transcription for the practice and one other, and still making good money at it.
But one reason I went back to school in the first place was because my boss had been making noises about quitting practice at some point, and he was so good (and I had him so very well-trained) I really couldn't see starting over again with another doctor who might not be so trainable. Not only that, the man is 11 years older than I, and it stood to reason he would retire before I would be ready to, so I would lose him eventually.
Last fall he closed his practice, actually going to work for another practice as an employee, not retiring quite yet, but despite his practically standing on his head on my behalf, the other practice didn't want to hire me. (Their loss.) That was when I had to find my first job with a national. Oh, joy. Welcome to the real world.
But I'll tell you what. There are some positive trade-offs. I don't have kids to stay home with... but I really, REALLY appreciate the mere 15-foot commute (I have a 4-1/2 year old car with still under 30k miles on it), the work wardrobe (pajamas), and best of all, the lack of B.S. and office politics. I get all the human contact I need between church and some other activities I participate in--places I choose to go and people I choose to see, rather than having people I don't get along with forced on me, as in the workplace. (Actually, I got along fine with them. They didn't get along with me. I just wanted them to not make my job harder. Was that too much to ask? Guess so. The last week I worked in the office, I had a sign on my wall that said "Others do not play well with me.")
The money in medical billing was nice, but it was costing me far too much. Meanwhile, I've used some of my info tech skills with a few freelance jobs for friends (website design, database design) but I have discovered that I really, really do NOT want to be responsible for maintaining somebody else's systems.... I also figured out really quickly after my business management classes (and being billing department head) that I am NOT cut out to be a manager. Trouble with management is that you have to . . . manage people. It's like herding cats. No, thank you.
So I haven't completely ruled out doing something else with my life, if I ever figure out what I want to be when I grow up... but for now, despite the massive pay cut I have taken, I am willing to hang in there as an MT because of the positive trade-offs I mentioned above. Plus... I've been doing this for 37 years, and I'm bloody good at it, if I do say so myself. :)
Does that answer the question? Anything else I can expound upon for the hopeful enlightenment of all?
Disclaimer: This has been MY chosen route, and for right now, it's right for ME. Others' mileage may vary. :)
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Midlife crisis
Do you think women have midlife crises just like men do? I have always been a very content person. Content with my life, work, family, etc. I was also someone who never liked change. Now for the past five years or so, I am so discontent with everything (life, job, marriage)! I just feel as if I could scream if nothing fun or exciting enters my life soon! I am so bored and discontent. I don't like it. I have tried to do things differently but nothing seems to help. I just feel like running away and starting fresh somewhere. However, then I think of my children, who are grown, and my one granddaughter, and that I would miss them very, very much. Has anyone else gone through this, or are you going through this. I am 49 years old. Help! Any suggestions! I have even had suicidal thoughts at times, but of course I would never act on them.
It could certainly be a midlife crisis sm
but it could also be depression, especially when you think of suicide. I am not say antidepressants are a cure all, but it could certainly be a start. Hugs to you!
midlife crisis
I believe that women go through midlife crises as well. I am 37. I believe my midlife crisis is because I got married way too early (age 20) and didn't have time to really "explore" my options. I, too, am bored and discontent. I try to stay active in my church and with my family, but I still find myself discontent.
midlife crisis
Have you considered taking antidepressants? I went through a severe depression after I had my first child that went beyond postpartum. I didn't know if I would ever be the same. I was against taking medication, but a friend convinced me to try it. It helped me be more positive and less anxious and to get focused again. I could have kicked myself for not taking it sooner. I would have enjoyed my child so much more. I am a Christian as well. Many Christian groups and churches are against medication for depression and say you should just rely on God. I believe God gave us a brain and He expects us to use it to be the best we can be for Him, ourselves and our loved ones. You may not need to take it for the rest of your life, but if only to help stabilize you so you can focus on making the decisions you need to make and get on with your life. God loves you and wants you to enjoy His blessings. This is not a weakness. You are not alone. I have been where you are and I survived! I still struggle at times, but I know there is help and hope for me, and there is for you, too. Hang in there, and don't be afraid to lean on the people who love you most. They need to know you're struggling if they're going to be able to help you. You'll get through this. I will keep you in my prayers!
Midlife crisis
I'm 32 and I think i'm having a midlife crisis. Any suggestions on how to overcome this? All I want to do is sleep so I won't have to wake up to my normal life.
could be the beginnings of a midlife crisis....mine
Later on, I divorced him (after 12 years), for many reasons, but one was certainly that I wasn't going to put up with possibly 20-30 years of a midlife crisis of his, or any man, that's a given....and today, he's mid 50s and still a mess.....in his head/heart at least...
best of luck....keep an eye out....
What kind of college degree?
I can't believe a degree would be useless!
Agree unless the 2-year degree is AS (technical) degree
The statement about a 2-year degree is a total waste of money and choosing a 4-year college instead, is not really correct because if you plan on doing 4 years, the first 2 years are the same anywhere. You can actually save money by going to a community college for the first 2 years and transferring to a 4-year university, as long as you be sure to get all the required transfer credits, etc.
I really do think the best way to go for the average person would be AS or technical degree of some sort. The job market is prime for that type of degree. Otherwise, post-graduate for those cut out for the long haul...
does a degree really have an age?
Well, I have been considering taking some online classes because there are some things that I want out of this life that I deserve. I am 43, 3 years ago I had a son, there is a 17-year old gap between him and my last child...I also changed professions about 4 years prior to that which required me to go back to school). I am still contemplating going back to school and when ever I decide how I am going to handle this situation with my mom (I take care of her, she is bedbound and has cancer among other things) I still want to further my education. Let me die with some dignity/intelligence and peace of mind of satisfying me and living my life to the fullest. Now I am not planning on dying anytime soon but why procrastinate...if you want something you have to make it happen for you....
AA degree
in order to go into a 4-year program for a BA, you have to have an AA first, so we're talking 6 years here. I am currently in an accelerated program (19 months) for my AA in business administration, and will get it this May. Then I plan to go into a 4-year for my batchelors.
Whether it is worth it or not depends. I am doing it for a personal achievement, and I am 58 years old. So that means when I get my BA I will be about 63.
I don't know if this will be worth anything or not. I say say this because when you aer in this age bracket, there is a lot of age discrimination in the job market. I have heard horror stories of women getting their degrees, and having a very hard time finding a job simply because of the age factor even though they qualify. Then again, when I do look at advertisments in the newspaper, even an administrative secretary II or III, or executive secretary, they ask for a batchelors degree.
I used to feel that way, too, to a degree
I don't know what happened to change it, but yesterday I sat in my comfy chair and knitted and watched movies all afternoon. I didn't cook, the laundry sat, my DH and youngest DS were the only ones home and entertained themselves and I was so relaxed I was afraid I might slip into a coma. I enjoyed every minute of it. I think we all need a day like that every now and then without feeling guilty about it.
Not that I disagree well to a degree
I am sorry, but you are comparing an animal rescue to human babies; no, no, no. Animals can fend for themselves if left alone, but babies cannot.
No, she should not have gone out and did it again, but it goes along the same lines as people who do not believe in abortion. JMHO.
I'm sure the faith board would have a field day with your temperament here.
What is the difference between what this girl did and what other families that have multiple children do? Not a thing. There's a show on called Jon and Kate plus eight or something like that; check it out sometime. That mother works hard.
Another thing is, some people just want to be famous, so this is her style. I'm just not sure I agree with the "what are you thinking?" She wanted children, and now she's got them and if people feel compelled to help her, then so be it.
By the way, I believe in choice as far as abortion goes, so I'm not welcome on the fath board either, I'm sure, since most believe that abortion should be banned.
Believe me, I see where you are coming from to a degree regarding having babies on purpose, but comparing babies to animals just doesn't settle too well with me. 
Is there a Crisis Hotline you can call? sm
I know many times that my docs have recommended Crisis intervention; the programs in this area are hospital-based.
I have a two year degree, so some of that would transfer, could still do MT (sm)
from home. I am considering just researching and enrolling and just announcing it like he does to me!
That should be the worst crisis in government!
nm
I do feel for you. You won't hear me giving you the 3rd degree. sm
I do have a dog house outside with 2 outdoor dogs because I have 3 little kids and can't have an indoor dog (one son with severe allergies). We own a lot of land (13 acres) fenced and cross-fenced. They don't want to come in. They are the happiest dogs you've ever seen (Shepherd, Corgi mixes). Anyways, I don't have any advice except to say that I don't know what I'd do in your situation. I run a very neat and clean house and don't want any dog hairs everywhere or a dog who chews, which I've seen.
Good luck in whatever you decide to do.
My mom raises miniature yorkies. She has dog strollers, the whole nine yards. That IS NOT for me.
I think people fail to realize that dogs are dogs. They are animals (I know this will start a hate thread), but seriously. You cannot allow a dog to rule your entire life. They are dogs. My mom hasn't visited any of her family in years because she can't leave her dogs at home or board ALL of them. To me, she is missing out on a lot of things because of these "animals."
Donate to crisis pregnancy centers.
X
1 degree this morning taking son to school
the entire inside car windows were covered with ice....BRRRR is right! Heat wave coming on thursay, going up to 30...
You know, your foot pedal crisis made me think...
if that ever happens to you again where you really need a foot pedal, put out an SOS to your fellow MTs. I have a collection of foot pedals that are not for my current platform but in perfect working order. I'd be happy to send one out to an MT in need.
I try to keep $50 stuck in there.......sm
that I don't even have in my check register. That little bit extra has saved me more than once.
It would really stink to have to pay that fee for a penny. Good luck with this!
stuck in UK MSN
I have noticed once in awhile I will be on the MSN page and then not be able to go anywhere else. The search won't work and if I type an address in the address bar and hit enter, a note comes up saying that page is not available. I just noticed it says UK MSN. No idea how I got to that, but that must be what happens once in awhile. Anyone have any info on this or have that happen? 
nothing - it is almost 70 already. Gonna be a nice 80-degree day! I love Arizona!
x
cup stuck in the disposal
Can anyone tell me how to get a plastic juice glass out of a disposal in the sink. It is at the top right by the opening? Please help.
Remember, you are stuck out there for
who knows how long. Don't know if I would like that.
how funny!! you should have stuck a little cam in there with it like a nanny cam, lol. nm
;
stuck garbage disposal
Never mind, we were able to crack the glass and then get it out.
I'm with you, Hay, but I'm stuck in the days of disco! Think I
s
next time you wake up, tell him you stuck
a pickle up his while he was sleeping and he should go get it removed.
That is exactly where I was getting stuck. Great minds think alike! :)
Congratulations!!
I'm stuck in a permanent time warp...
 Ssss-Aaaa-Ffff-Eeee-Tttt-Yyyy....dance.....and everything else from that ambiguously androgynous era.
I miss Hayseed and her WebHamCam is stuck
Yes, I stuck to it and lost 30 pounds in 3 months (sm)
You may have increased your salt intake this week and be retaining water? (lots of Weight Watchers dishes are high in sodium)or could you have PMS retention? Also if you started exercising a lot and are building some muscle, you could have lost fat and replaced the fat weight with muscle weight - which is great since muscle is much more compact and burns more calories. A great free website that you might like is 3fatchicks on a diet...not sure of the exact web address but it is very popular and if you Google it you should be able to find it. Don't give up!! I need to go back on it actually!! I have been off the wagon (or is it on the wagon? lol) for a while now. Good luck!!
I had a report with a baseball stuck in a man's rectum -
when the nurses asked him why a baseball, he responded that his wife was not home and it seemed like a good idea at the time!!!
Oh, lighten up, SLC stuck in my mind as a nice place
because instead of it smelling like a garbage pile, it was the sweetest smelling place and I thought would just let someone know about it. With all that I have been thinking about regarding my aunt having to go to an assisted living or elsewhere, SLC was just a pleasant thought instead of a downer.
college son
I agree - take the phone away! My son's first away job was at age 18. He was sent to NYC Kennedy Airport as his base (flight attendant). We live in a tiny little town in IL. Of course, I wanted him to be safe, blah, blah, blah. First phone bille I got was over $200.00. His dad gave him a credit card for emergencies - first bill was over $3000.00 - you guessed it. Took both away. Got him a number to call home with, no one else. Phone companies do that somehow. Dad started sending a fixed amount (flight attendants are paid terrible wages in the beginning) Fifteen years later, he is an extremely successful hair stylist with his own hair product line in Spr. Illinois. You have to do something now or you will be broke, he will waste a year at school and they will probably make it or break it no matter what you do. Hang in there! He WILL grow up! 
college son
I could have written that same thing except this is my daughter and her boyfriend is a loser. Dont like him and havent even met him. She goes to a junior college where we live and works PT. He on the other hand does not go to school and does not have a job. When will it end. Any advice.
college son
 My son's spree ended when he was 27. He spent years "finding his niche." Flight attendant, waiter, retail clerk. Constantly broke, moving absolutely continually between IL, NY, IA and MO. Drove us nuts. After a few moves, I stopped helping with moves - "if you want to move, get your friends to help." After bleeding his dad (we were divorced, then he died) and my mom (you know the ask grandma thing) practically dry, he finally had to grow up. Went to hair college in Iowa and has been working his tail off ever since. It took him years to mature, years of poor choices, years of being poor to finally realize that his life was up to him, not anyone else. He is now totally responsible - I am so proud of him. For the past 2 years in a row, he has earned the Iliinois Times "Springfield's Best" title for hair stylist. Quite an honor. Your son will be okay. Some young guys don't make college on the first try and have to do it again a few years later. Hang in there.
College vs. not
I am a year away from graduating with a Bachelors in psychology with counseling. I'm pretty sure it will be useful, but there is no way of knowing now.
However,
My husband just graduated in May 2008 with his History degree. This week he finally got a job, and more than likely he could have gotten it without a degree (managing a sports store), but I am sure it helped, since he doesn't have a lot of retail experience.
I think it's kind of a 50/50 deal. You could get a degree, and never need it. Or you could get one and not need it until later on in your career when you want to move up. Or you could not get it and get blocked for all kinds of jobs.
In the end I would probably do college over again just because I love learning.
Anyone out there going to college at age 40? sm
I am considering about ditching the MT scene once my children graduate from high school (in 7 years). I am currently 42 years old and considering going for a Bachelors in computers. Anyone else doing this?
pray tell, how DID they get to college and/or
I'm back in college now. You
have me thinking about getting a class ring too - how funny. But the ring I like best is the class ring my mom has. I never see that style anymore. No stone, not overly large or fine either, just gold with a narrow, stacked rectangular portion in the middle that has white gold while the rest of the ring is yellow gold.
Maybe I should just see if I can get her ring back from her; I let her have it back when I moved out of the house after wearing it a lot after high school.
HELP, son in first year of college... psm
I don't get to post very often, but I am kind of at a loss as to what to do. We are having a real problem here.
My son has always been a very good kid. He has always made good grades. He has never gotten into much trouble. Well, he got almost a full-paid scholarship to college. We always told him that if he got a scholarship, we would get him a car. Well, he got the scholarship and carefully researched what kind of car he wanted. We went out and got him a car.
Subsequently, he became involved with a girl. I don't have a problem with his girlfriend. She's very sweet and I do like her. The problem is this. I got the first phone bill after he left and he was texting her day and night. So, we asked him to cut back. We pay the phone bill. We make the rules. We have unlimited messages but 15,000 messages in one month just seems crazy when he is complaining about being exhausted. We worked it out. At 10 seconds a message it would be 40 hours worth of texting...
He comes home for the weekend and we take him to dinner. Fifteen dollar dinner and he is falling asleep at the dinner table. He proceeds to tell us how miserable he is at school. We explain to him how sorry we are, but he is stuck there at the very least for this year as he is already enrolled etc. We also made it clear that he needed to at least try to make it work.
So, he continues to text day and night even though he promised he would cut down. He was texting during classes, which just seems wrong to me. It is disrespectful to the professors and unfair to the students sitting around him. We threatened to take his phone away. He finally stopped doing that but now I have my suspicions he is cutting class to talk on AIM to his girlfriend, and he had to drop the only difficult class he had or he was going to fail it and lose his scholarship. He is lying to us about stuff. He is being deceitful about stuff. I am just at my wits end.
This is a nice girl from a nice family. We know her parents. We like her. We like her parents. But I feel like she is trying to control his life from 2 hours away and it is working. It is almost like he is chosing to be miserable to accommodate her. I talked to her mother last week and one day she called home 15 times. My husband feels like we shouldn't talk to her parents about this.
We know that we can't make dating her an issue because that will just make him want to date her all the more. I am at a loss as to what if anything to do about it. My husband says that if he is chosing to be miserable then he can be miserable and that college is what you make of it. I am 95% sure he wants to change schools and go where his girlfriend is going. Well, that is the most expensive school in the state and he will be giving up a free ride to do that plus he now has an almost new car that we would have to deal with because he would not get to keep that and go to the expensive school. No way, no how. I have serious reservations about him going to a school with a party-school reputation when he has a free education at a very good school. I also do not want to pay $18,000 a year so that he can be with his girlfriend no matter how much I like her.
Any words of wisdom?
1st year of college
Went that same route, it was awful. A psychoogist friend of mine told me not to panic, to insist he finish out the year where he was. He then transferred the 2nd year. He is now married to someone he met in that second college, has beautiful children, etc. Yet to say that was one of the most horrible years of my life would be the truth. Hang in there, be stronger than he, he's just a kid, really, thinks he's in love. You on the other hand are paying for him and working yourself to death for him. Take the phone away or at least make him sign a contract that he will finish the year out, will limit his phone bill, etc. You are the boss of him, not the other way around. It's horrible, I know, but tough it out. This girl cannot be too smart, but probably very sexy. Not much you can do about it. Have your husband step in and take over or else you will be the classic Monster-In-Law. Time for Dad to be the boss here and set the rules, tell him to step up to the plate and stop being Mr. Nice Guy! He needs a strong male image to step in and tell him what the rules are, not you.
My son threw college away....
My mother was gonna pay for everything including tuition, books, clothing, you name it. He went in the front door and out the back. Later my father offered to send him to some sort of trade school, all expenses paid. Son married then, 2 children, turned it down. He basically has had horrible attitude towards any job he has ever had and usually quit/fired. I have not talked with him now in about 3 years (he lives close by). I have wished he and his family the best- I quit being the bank for them. If I could make it without extra help around to raise 2 children, with their family having both parents there, children out of high school, they can certainly make it. Good luck to them.....
Yes it is from a community college - thanks (nm)
x
I don't have children old enough for college yet, but
I did hear that there are all sorts of scholarships out there, you just have to know where to look. Maybe someone else will know exactly how to find them, but I remember hearing that there's some sort of book out (maybe try googling)where you can get a scholarship just (as an example) for being Polish or Italian and some places give out scholarships for the oddest things. Good luck. My daughter wants to be a vet, and the school she'll want to go to Cornell is so expensive, if she doesn't get a scholarship there's no way we can afford it.
paying for college
I have two sons in college right now ...one out-of-state, one in a private university. They both end up getting paid to go to school because they have so many scholorships. Did the high school counselor help me find any....NO. We are in a small town and I got no help from the school or town. Neither one of my sons played any sports...but I will tell you what I found out...what is more important is that your child is involved in school and the community. They don't care if they have ever worked a day in their life...they want to know what they have done in school grade wise, and community wise. Even just ringing the bells for the Salvation Army at Chrismtas time will earn you a scholorship. I filled out over 56 scholorships for both my sons to go to school for free...you just have to learn as you go how to word answers on the scholorships. We are not poor but we are not rich...but we made to much money to get any FAFSA help.
COLLEGE AND SCHOLARSHIPS
My first daughter was lucky with the scholarships and has just graduated from a private college in state with a degree in Nursing (BSN). She went to this $34,000 a year college for $13,000 a year but still has $60,000 of student loans to pay back but she makes $3,000 a month and has no other expenses. My other daughter chose to go out of state and Massachusetts only helps in state students. She goes to Umass at Amherst and there is so many scholarships if you live in MA. Anyway she is also on student loans. I told my girls this is the only way you can go to high priced colleges if this is what you want. They have 10 years to pay for them once they graduate. Most of their friends are doing the same way. We also applied the FASA 4 years in a row and it helped with the first child but even when I had both in college it did not help my second child. She still has to pay the going rate for out of state. I even called up Umass and said another college in MA is giving her $10,000 scholarship off the tuition and they said well tell her to go there. I really think it depends on the college. GOOD LUCK
college in Morehead
I went to college in Morehead in the late 70s.. it has grown a lot since then. . they are even getting a super Wal-Mart soon.. lol.
It is also title used on college and job
x
college costs
DD just got accepted to the Pratt Institute, an art and design college in NY. Cost for first year including room, board, fees, books, etc., $48,000. I don't know whether to laugh or cry. Seems like a lot money to learn how to paint and make collages.
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