Who are you buying for, your kids or relatives? If you
Posted By: RS on 2008-01-21
In Reply to: How do you deal with people who always return gifts or sm - Anon me
know someone is going to return whatever then go with a gift card and let them get whatever they want themselves. But, whatever you give them they can do with what they wish. You have no control over that.
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Vote please on clothes buying scenario for kids...sm
Scenario: 15-year-old finished growing 2 years ago, stable sizes. 8-year-old growing like a weed, can't wear anything from last winter.
It's getting cool now in my state and I need to get the 8-year-old some long sleeved shirts for school. The 15-year-old thinks they should also get the same amount of money to spend on clothes - even though they have plenty to wear in their closet and state they have nothing in particular they want and make money doing neighborhood chores as well as chores around the house. Also before school began both kids were given $100 to buy their school supplies and clothes. The 8-year-old spent the clothing portion on pants and new sneakers, the teenager spent it on various clothing items.
Would you:
1. Do it even though they don't need it because it wouldn't be fair to spend more money on one child than another.
2. Tell them that you're only getting the younger child clothes because they have no long sleeved shirts that fit, whereas the teenager does, and that they are welcome to spend their own money on extra clothes they want.
Which way do you vote?
He was 86. I have many relatives
in their late 90s & a couple over 100. When your parents reach their 80s, you won't be saying things like that because you'll hope they have many years left beyond 86.
RELATIVES FROM OTHER COUNTRIES
My husband is a first generation American. His folks came here legally, worked their buns off, and did it the right way. My father-in-law became a citizen as did his sister. My husband's sister married a man whose entire family came here LEGALLY from Beirut during that awful war where they lost everything, their businesses, their homes, couldn't even leave their hiding places to buy grocersies because they were shot at, so they went without food for quite some time. They were singled out there because they allowed the females in their family to go to college. Can you imagine? They came here with what they could salvage LEGALLY, then got jobs and saved their money until they could start their own businesses. All of these humble people respected our laws and now are part of us. They are all Americans now except my mother-in-law who passed away still with her green card, but she always showed up and did what she needed to do legally to stay in this country and she loved it. None of them worked for anyone illegally or under the table. I say send all the illegals back. All of them. She is right, we don't have enough natural resources or cash to take care of all these people who do not respect us anyway and take and take and give nothing to to contribute to our society except more illegal things in order to earn a buck. Like sell drugs, drive drunk, pretend to be Jose Somebody at the ER so they won't have to pay the bill that we all cover. Enough.
I'm sure some of your relatives are feeling sm
the same horrible crunch. Feel them out gently. Together you can approach the insensitive members of your family.
Instead of saying you "won't be buying any gifts," say you "can't" instead. It's the sign of the times, and not a reflection on you.
You can have a very merry and wonderful Christmas without gifts. It's love that makes Christmas Christmas!
Merry Christmas to you and all the other posters and readers!
People can get pregnant on an IUD. I have two relatives who did.
You have to wonder why she hasn't had her tubes tied, and why he hasn't had a vasectomy and gotten a full-time job since he's perfectly able-bodied. At least if they're living off the dole, one or both should be going to college on grants to eventually be able to support four kids.
awkward conversations with relatives
Sometimes there is not much more to say when it comes to the cookies. Sounds like she had just enjoyed the conversation and wanted to keep it going... maybe she liked hearing from you guys.
Wanted to let you know what happened to relatives
I went with my two sisters on two separate occasions to fill out forms at social security. One sister was applying for social security benefits and when asked about her marital status she told them single. The women then said, have you ever been married? The next thing my sister had to do was to give the names of all previous marriages and the dates they were married and then the woman said she was listed as divorce. Another sister, who only lived with this man for 22 years after his death went to see if she would be able to get any kind of help from them. You should see the form she had to fill out. It was called a marital relationship something or other and it went on for miles. We were told they ask about previous marriages and the like to see if people might be getting money from other places. With the married sister according to the years she might have been married to either 1 determined whether she got social security on that marriage. According to SS if married, gosh don't want to mess this up, but seems like over 20 something years then you would perhaps be able to draw from that marriage even if you are divorced from them so when applying for things like that if married previously you are not considered single.
I have had this happen with relatives and friends alike - sm
I am actually surprised now when someone actually calls or writes to say they received something I sent and *thank you* for sending it. How sad is that? I was also told to send a thank-you note or call the sender the very day you receive their gift, no matter if you like it or not. After all, they cared enough to send SOMEthing. Guess we are a dying breed???
Charmed...I have similar relatives. Here is something to remember
MISERABLE PEOPLE LOVE TO MAKE OTHER PEOPLE MISERABLE.
That is why the saying "misery loves company."
I know they are your family. However, if they treat you that badly, dump them and move on. I went through this years ago. I have family like this. They never had anything to do with me unless they needed something from me or they wanted to belittle me.
One can find friends who are more like family and treat you with respect. Make sure you have caller ID and DON'T ANSWER WHEN THEY CALL. That is the first step. LEARN TO SAY NO. It will not kill you, I promise. When you empower yourself, you learn to like you for yourself and it no longer matters what these people think of you. When it no longer matters what they think, they will see it and pick on someone else. 
Actually, relatives in suburban PA don't lock either and I feel safe there, roo. sm
But i would not feel safe in my own home unlocked, even though I'm in a gated community with tons of outside lights, etc. For some reason I feel safe in someone else's house more than my own.
Anyone who has relatives in assisted living, high rise places, anything?
I have a dear aunt that went to live with her son and his fairly new wife of about 2 years. My aunt really needs the assistance of someone but this is not working out. She is 86, called me tonight, wants to go back home and I told her I would try to assist her. She is my second mother since mine died several years ago. I have heard that high rises go by how much income a person has. I do not think assisted living is a possibility as might be too much money involved for her, she does not get that much from social security. She has both Medicaid and Medicare and I wondered about inhome help also. Anyone out there who has a situation like this that can give me any information I would appreciate it. TIA
I have relatives in fairly rural Maine who never lock, and I feel totally safe there. nm
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Unless you are buying it yourself, yah, there is.
Maybe he has an heirloom ring that has been in his family for generations. Maybe he just really wants to get something you that is a personal expression of his and his alone. If he's buying it, don't look a gift horse in the mouth! It's not about the ring, it's about the marriage...and marriage is gonna be all about compromise. Congratulations on the engagement!
PS--I had to buy our rings and he got to choose what he wanted and so did I.
buying a used car
What's the general rule of thumb as far as negotiating price? How much should I expect the dealer to come down in price on a used car? I stink at this stuff
Yep, been buying here! sm
Never stopped buying. Great time to buy in if you can. Money to be made in the long run. 
Maybe she was buying food for someone?
If your car is above a certain value, you don't qualify for food stamps.
She may have buying food for someone with their food stamps/food stamp card.
You have to be buying the cheaper
brand because at the QT close to my house, about the cheapest, in Atlanta, the price is $2.40 something for the brand I have to burn.
buying house with BF
Bear with me. I am not judging here as I do not know the circumstances other than you stated you and BF want to buy a house. I am assuming you are young, which to me, anyone under the age of 40 falls into that category! If and when buying a house comes to be, consider hiring an attorney to protect your interest, and your BF should do the same. Buying a home with a BF/GF is VERY scary. Will both names be on the mortgage? If so, what if one dies, becomes disabled, flees to Tibet to do lunch with the Dali Lama? The other is left holding the bag with all the financial responsibilities. The same things can happen if you're married too, but it's harder to legally resolve such issues if you are not married.
I don't mean to rain on your parade here! Just want you to think. Buying a house is so exciting but it's the biggest financial commitment you will ever make. You don't want it to come back and bite you in the butt years down the road.
To save, keep only one credit card and pay it off each month. That saying 'pay yourself first' is tried and true. Open an account and have 5-10% of every paycheck auto-deposited in it. If you don't have it, you won't miss it. Open short-term CDs with your savings. They are risk-free, you can access your money if you truly need it, and you'll get more interest than a savings acct. Do your research, stay away from adjustable rate mortgages,and buy beneath your means. Think of every worst case scenario you can and talk them over with your BF BEFORE you buy. This is your financial future you are about to change. You will be committed to a house/mortgage, but not to each other - legally.
OK - my doom and gloom post is done! Regardless, all the best to you!
buying a house
Wow, this is great info as I am buying a house too. I am wondering about one point though - my realtor did recommend an inspector that I set up an appointment with - is it absolutely necessary to find my own inspector?
buying home
Thanks AnnieM! You gave some great advice and some things to think about that I hadn't thought of.
I would tell her that I was offended and was buying elsewhere (sm)
I have learned over the years to stop wishing in hindsight that I had said what I should say to begin with. She is being rude and thinking you will pay her asking price just to prove to her that you can afford it. She is banking on you being offended and trying to prove to her that you can indeed afford it. That is a sales tactic I have seen used before - don't bite the bait!
I'm with you. I can't believe they are buying her story. nm
d
Don't think people are buying it!
I have an ex-brother-in-law who is a compulsive liar and whereas we don't call him on the lies, they are a joke to us and we laugh about it later. So to the liars out there, don't think we're that gullible!
Need to know about cheese buying
I do not buy cheese but have 2 people on my list for presents this year that I would love to get some crackers and cheeses for. Do most cheese need refrigeration? I would think some would last longer than others, right? I can make this a 1 stop shop at Trader's Joe so need some ideas, anyone?
renting vs buying
Hi,
After I divorced some years ago, having had my own home at that time, and then having to live in an apartment, I recently opted to purchase my own home. You must weigh the pros and cons of your situation, particularly having children. I hated apt. living!!! You must consider that there will not be much room for your children to play. If they play outside, they will no doubt disturb other renters and consequently have complaints. No matter how good the apartment complex is built, it will always be noisy, no matter what. Being in this business, quiet is imperative and something I never found in an apartment. There is always someone or something to disturb you. You also have no privacy. I lived on a first floor apt. and someone was constantly walking past my bedroom window and patio doors. They cannot help but "peek" in and I hated that as well. I love bright sunshine and fresh air and refused to keep my blinds pulled. I did not feel that I should have to. Also, being a nonsmoker, I found it difficult to deal with those that did, what with their left over smoke drifting into my apt. on a constant day/night basis. I had a "nice" apt. with all the appliances, including washer/dryer, dishwasher, etc, plus a garage. It was nice, but after being aggravated by the 3 in the morning parties going on every weekend and sometimes during the week, and the managers not doing their jobs of shoveling snow, salting walkways, or mowing the grass and picking up other peoples cigarette butts, I opted to buy my own condo. I went with a condo because they do take care of the outside. the inside is your responsibility. yes, you have to replace things if they break or repair them, but to me the cost is minimal compared to the aggravation of living in an apartment. a down payment helps your bottom line, and of course, there are the closing costs, but you also have to consider that you get to deduct your property taxes from you 1040 at the end of the year. Each option has its pros and cons, but with children, i would definately opt for purchase rather than rent. but that's just me. these are just some things to think about. good luck.
Does anybody know anything about buying a house from a tax auction? SM
I live in a small town and in our local paper there are always public listings of properties that are going to be sold on the courthouse steps in an auction because of foreclosures or failure to pay taxes, etc. I'm kind of interested in learning about this process because a cute older home I've had my eye on for a while is going to be sold this way in a couple of weeks and I am in a position to maybe buy it because I FINALLY settled with my insurance company over my house fire. So I have a nice little chunk of money (not a huge amount, but enough to buy a decent home for me and my kids). My ex-husband severely damaged my credit and so this may be the only way I can buy another house, besides I'd rather not use the money as a down payment on a big, huge fancy house I'll probably struggle to make payments on. I'd rather just buy a nice little three bedroom that is comfortable and affordable and allows me a little wiggle room with my finances. I'm living with family now and don't even get me started on how stressful that is!
So I was wondering if any my virtual colleagues and friends here at MTStars had any experience or knowledge of how this whole foreclosure/tax auction process works? Will there be an auctioneer and I will have to bid like at a regular auction? And usually how much do houses go for when sold this way? Do they go for the amount of taxes owed or how much the house is worth? The public notice from the county says the buyer has to put 10% down and pay the remaining balance in 30 days. So I'm trying to get an idea of whether I will have enough to pay cash the day of or if I will still need to get a small mortgage loan.
Any suggestions? I'm really dumb when it comes to stuff like this. I've never really had a head for business, but since leaving my ex, I've vowed to learn and be savvy and take control of my finances. And this would be a big first step towards that.
Thanks!
Home buying grants.
Anyone know of some programs to apply for first time home buying grants? :-)
Self-employed/IC and buying a house?
Ok, here's my story....I've been an IC for 3-1/2 years and an MT for 6. My husband and I are moving to another state and buying a house. The mortgage company wants me to get a letter from the company that I have a contract with stating that I can continue to receive work from them even after I move. My question is, is this normal to request this?? It seems really unprofessional of me to even ask them to write this letter as I'm NOT an employee of this company. The mortgage guy we're dealing with seems very young and doesn't seem to have experience with self-employed people, so I'm wondering if I really need to get this letter or if we should just use a differnet mortgage company? I would really appreciate it if anyone has been in a similar position could let me know if you needed to get this letter as well. FYI: We have excellent credit and have both been gainfully employed since we were teenagers. Thank you!
Thanks for your insight when buying a house
I wondered that too if all the houses gone up that much. I know they did some remodeling since they bought it 5 years ago but we have done some remodeling in this house too (same kind of remodeling) but I won't dare think it would sell for 66% above what we originally paided for it.
Than again, I would have to get an expert to come through here and tell me what they think it might sell for. I have not a clue. 
My gut feeling tells me that they need to come down. I saw the new house they were moving too. It is a huge, two story, maybe $300K home. DH and I think they have jacked up the price on this other home in order to help pay for the one they are in now.
Then other things would have to factor in like property taxes, cost of utilities which I know all that would be more than what we are paying now for this little house we are in now. "sigh" Oh well, maybe one day we will have something bigger.
Questions to ask when buying a house
We are going to look at a house we are both interested in in about an hour. I made up a list of questions. First off, I think the seller wants too much and have already told them so, they want 125k. They said they will consider coming down though I don't know how much. It is a 3 bedroom 2 bath brick home about 1600 sq ft. I don't think it is worth more than 80k and that is being generous, IMO but I am no expert. It is a nice house but not flawless. The outside gutters are coming off I know for sure. Dh had been in and he said some of the carpet is comming up. There are old trailer houses all in that block. The house directly behind us is an old abandoned house with sheep in the backyard. The neighbors beside us have chickens.
Anyway, the questions I came up with is: Aprasial value, property taxes, age of the house. Also I have been wanting to some how ask about Dh farm equipment. He has had it parked out here and the neighbors have yet to complain the whole 8 years we have lived here. However, some of my relatives across town have old cars parked in their driveway and they get complaints. My bestfriend's mother lives 2 blocks away from this home and she says there is not a crime problem. Howvever, sometimes kids drive up and down the street too fast so I would have to keep a close eye on my two little ones. We would still be in the same school district so that is not a question.
Anyone have any more tips to look for. Is it too nosey to ask what the utility expenses are? I thought about calling WTU but I don't know if they would tell me or not. 15 years ago they would because I asked about an appartment complex I was interested in living in. However, back then they had a local office I could call, not anymore. TIA.
Not buying any more doggie medicine
where she gets the medicine it is twice what I can get here in my town. i asked my veterinarian and ordered it one time for them (and paid that time) but have not paid since. I was asking hubs about picking it up and sending it as I doubt very seriously my veterinarian office would mail to her out of town. Guess I will not do that now- not trying to enable as she would pay for it.
Go to Walmart. Remember, buying the SM
original toothbrush is one thing; every six months or so, you have to purchase the replacement brush for the device. Wonder how much that costs?
Anyone own a Volvo? Thinking about buying
a used one. Are the tune ups and regular maintenance expensive on them? Good and bad experiences are welcomed. Thanks.
I've looked into buying them just to have
on-hand just in case, but there are sooooo many different kinds that I didn't even really know what to look for...
Totally ridiculous, now everyone should stop buying it.......
don't ya think? But they won't. Never believed in it anyway. The real SECRET is those people are getting mega-rich!
Buying a house with someone who is not legally your spouse, is
I'm buying mine concer tickets! nm
nm
What about buying a bottle of 'Liquid Paper 2-in1" -sm
(which is a cool little combination wide brush or pinpoint correction fluid applicator, depending on which cap you take off), then paint the letters back on the keyboard? Then, once the Liquid Paper has dried, paint over it with clear nail polish to protect it from getting worn off.
(Or, like the poster below, if you REALLY want to confuse people, you could always paint the wrong letters on the wrong keys!)
;D
I was not out buying designer clothes or stuff for myself - sm
in my case it was "we", mainly him, spent way more than we make. Everytime one of his cards got a large balance (he never looked at the statements and I pay the bills) I would tranfer it over to one of my cards, which again he never looked at, and I had a P.O. Box for--so in my case it was very, very easy to do, and with paperless statements today even easier. We had a lot of things happen in our life over the past 4 years which made the money/credit card issue much worse, easily added $40K onto it (at $89K now)--family death, serious child illness--still dealing with that some--, job loss on my part, private school tuition ($12K a year---no longer go there for the last 2 years), inability to pay bills and heavily borrowed on cards----d-u-m-b I know. So don't be so quick to judge, it is not always so black and white. Yes I did get a few things I should not have, but I know during some of this time I was depressed though not horribly so but enough so as to buy a few things I never should have, but for 95% of it it was my DH never denying himself anything (though he would have if he'd known, and now he is --granted not too happy about it---one tiny concession he has made is only 9 beers a day, down from 12, so maybe he can get 3 days out of a case of beer instead of 2.) So my days of robbing Peter to pay Paul are over. We plan to have an open book when it comes to finances once his are paid off, and mine are enrolled with a debt management plan--- then only use his cards for gas, and work stuff basically--I won't have any as they will all get destroyed and cancelled in the DMP, and will use my debit card for everything --which I do now anyway, so it won't be a huge change for me. I don't think she is lamenting, just realizing what a horrid mess she has to deal with, it is hard, and I have to deal with my DHs comments for years to come, he did a few zingers last night. I will be okay though and have to pay the piper, it is worth it not having to go through a nasty divorce and custody fight as I know it would not have been pretty.
my boyfriend (who is buying the car) wants me to get a Honda - I want a convertible! nm
x
Buying new living room furniture this weekend...
Can't wait!! :)
Happy Watching! I'm buying the whole series for myself as a Christmas gift.
I just got back from buying a sympathy card for my brother's MIL, glad I did now. nm
x
When I realized while dating what lousy taste he had, I started buying my own gifts. Been doing it
s
LOST, also Project Runway, Grey's Anatomy, various HGTV home buying/selling shows
x
It didn't work out due to combining of kids and step kids. nm
*
Nope, no kids with him, all of our kids are 20 and over.
I would think that some of the $12,000 A YEAR he paid in support for over 9 years should have been enough to save some for college. He paid his dues so to speak, always paid the support on time, had insurance for them, etc. He told them straight up to pay for their own college. Is there something wrong with that?
ESL kids have a label =$$$. When the illiterate kids get a label slapped on them - they will get a
Most public schools do not teach children to read with intensive phonics. It has nothing to do with class size IMHO. The method of reading instruction is what determines if the kids will learn to read or not.
Consider homeschooling her.
Each child represents a $ amount to public school administration. As long as the child attends they get their $. They still get X amount of $ for each year they teach or do not teach a kid to read.
Their compensation is not reduced when they produce illiterate adults.
I believe my kids would still believe . .
had I not got totally busted by my 10-year-old son. My 7-year-old still believes. I always asked as my kids if they believe and when they said yes, I said that that is all that is important. My son caught me playing the EB last Easter. He said to me yesterday, "Come on, a giant bunny hopping around the country bringing easter baskets? How long did you expect me to fall for that?" I about split a gut laughing!!! However, both older children know how important it is to let the 7YO believe, we all watched Polar Express last night and they still were mesmerized!!!
I think a LOT of men are like that with kids
Maybe because since such a high % of marriages end in divorce, some of them keep a distance there. After all, when divorces happen, who gets the kids? Also, women tend to take charge when it comes to the kids and men tend to allow it. I truly believe that kids do not always strengthen a marriage but often the opposite. I have seen statistics stating that more couples with children get divorced than those who don't have any. Interesting, huh? JMO
That's why I won't have kids.
I have totally turned off the need/want to have kids, because I know my husband could never handle it. I don't want to be a single parent...especially a married single parent, know what I mean? It's an incredible commitment and they don't stay portable and nonverbal for long.
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