When my brother was in therapy, he used that technique.
Posted By: sm on 2008-04-21
In Reply to: Here is what we do and it has really helped us to - have discussions instead of yelling matches. nm
Never would use the word "you" in a sentence when discussing an issue and constantly repeating back to us what we said in order to validate that we were heard. Our entire family hated it, especially because his issues were HIS issues. Beating three wives, always out-of-control, and demanding emotional support whenever he made repeatedly stupid decisions. He just couldn't repair the huge damage he had done by trying that one on us. (And he only tried briefly.)
It's not a bad technique. It's actually quite nice to be civilized that way. But whenever someone mentions it, I'm reminded of my brother who had hurt so many of his family members, emotionally and physically, and then couldn't figure out why the technique his therapist taught him didn't work like a magic charm. He never did figure out that the trust was gone from every relationship in his life.
Sorry! That was off-topic. It just stirred up some unpleasant memories.
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this is the recommended technique from
the book "The Oppositional Defiant Child". Actually, there are even more extreme tactics to use from the book, but you followed the suggestions to the letter even if you never read the book. Good for you and glad it worked!
do it also. Is there a technique she has that makes
x
Until you can see your doctor, try this yoga technique
When you start feeling these symptoms, get up from your desk and go sit somewhere else (yes, I know, it takes away from work time but it is worth it). Just sit there for a couple of seconds, relaxing as well as you can, and then start breathing in this pattern: Take in a deep breath, as deep as you can, counting as you go. Let's say you count to ten. Then hold the breath for ten seconds, breathe out for ten seconds, then hold your breath out for ten seconds. Breathe normally a couple of times, then repeat the process. While you are doing the deep breathing, concentrate on the counting. Try to push everything else out of your mind. Nothing matters except the breathing and the counting.
After three or four repetitions, you should be feeling calmer. It will take less than five minutes, it is completely natural, and hopefully it will help. I use it myself when I feel anxiety, and I taught it to my son when he was young (right after he started school).
BTW, your symptoms could be anxiety, or they could be adult-onset ADD. You might want to check into that as well. I have a friend who has adult-onset ADD, and when she discovered that was what she had, it was like a light bulb went off over her head. It explained so many things in her life that she hadn't understood before. Not saying that's what you have, but might as well consider as many alternatives as possible.
Good luck to you. I have been in that kind of high-pressure work situation and I darned near had a nervous breakdown. I hope you can find another work situation soon.
Warning. Technique inside.
He would lay down, grab is nuts in his mouth and kick his leg (like he was scratching) until the deed was done. How he first figured this out, who knows!!! LOL
I have a great brother like that too! I love my Big Brother!
Enjoy the love!
I have an older brother and younger brother
and I was a terrible handful, especially during high school compared to my brothers.
Yep, I had therapy for awhile too
Therapy didn't take the nightmares away and didn't take away my fears. My anger from it is better but not gone.
I think if I stay a little angry, I will be a little more vigilant and protective of myself. It will not happen to me again.
I can feel sorry for the jerk but can't forgive him for taking my security away from me.
And, before the "holier than thou" people jump on the religious aspect of forgiveness and healing, let me just tell you this.
I have seen many different counselors over the years for this. I even sought counsel from my church back then and I was basically turned into the church sideshow.
These were people I trusted but they let everyone in the congregation know that I was a little sinner and had brought a horrible shame upon myself and my church family.
This was not some kind of fanatical church but I won't say which one.
So in case Georgia Gal is wondering which church, she will continue to wonder. Just know that I will never get over this and I just can't see how she could. Church or no.
I believe in God, I just do not believe in church anymore.
Your doggie needs some therapy
It has no clue what it is, a Siberian and you call it a poodle. Poor thing. It has issues and I would suggest a good therapist!
you don't need therapy-you JUST SUMMED IT UP!!
This post says it all - and I think in your heart you know what would be the best road to take......it's scary but not for very long.......change can be scary but change is a constant in the life....and one door closes and 20 more open (doors and windows)....if you stay in the relationship, you're setting yourself up for a lifetime of never-being-able-to-please-this-person and then hence, yourself. You only get to do this one time - as far as we know - wouldn't you want it to be THE BEST...?
Good luck, I so know it's sooooooooooooooo not easy.....
Was he cured by therapy
or medication?
hehehe.
I remember when DH and I were just engaged, he looked lovingly into my eyes and said the most romantic thing he could think of - "I promise not to be one of those guys who makes his wife a football widow."
Men are funny.
Try massage therapy - sm
It can do wonders. Tell them exactly what your complaints are. Best of luck! 
Yes he needs intense therapy
and they can probably get him disability which would help pay for it.
Question: Why do you keep saying retarded? Haven't heard that term used in years.
Question: Why in the world would they bring a 2yr old little girl into this situation. You said he has needed help for 16 years. What were they thinking. And as far as money goes, if they can't afford therapy, how could they afford to adopt a child from China?
Massage therapy!
 I try to treat myself every 3 weeks or so. PLUS i play a lot of online Jeopardy...
I agree with HER...I think he needs therapy.
*
I so agree - left at 18, therapy from 8-28...sm
And have been in fine shape ever since. I became my own hero the day I walked out the door for good at 18, never looking back...never went back, not even for dinner, though kept in touch all the time with my father via his work/job, phone or going directly there, my father always trying to be the peacemaker. I tried for several years and several different time but once one is so poisonous - you have a choice...and I always chose not to be involved with poisonous types of people.
Therapy IS the ticket FOR SURE and there's all kinds of therapies out there today for all kinds of personalities. Thank goodness for that - I was into the new-wave therapies back in the late 1960s-70s....
Bless everyone going through all of this either prior or now.....Bless ALL.
I have never taken hormone replacement therapy like you
because I knew from years ago, before the gov study that hormones were being linked with breast cancer, among other things. My elderly aunts (in their 80s) also refused to take hormones, one being a nurse. My mother took hormones and she died from uterine cancer. A previous physician told me I should take them (this was not OB-GYN and I just felt I had all the information I needed to make a sound decision, that being not taking them.
My Therapy Dogs are certified through
Therapy Dogs International. They have to pass two sets of tests..the first is the AKC Good Canine Citizen, then the TDI test. Any breed or hmmm-what-kind-are-you? dogs can become a Therapy Dog.
The dogs need to have a physical, stool testing, and vaccination history is sent to TDI along with a recent photo of your dog. You then will receive a photo ID that has to worn with each visit.
A lot goes into the training, but it is well worth it. Just to see the look on a patient's face really does bring on the tears. Deb, don't hide your tears....the patient's don't mind. You and your dog just might be the most emotional packed figure they've seen in a while. Everyone else who tends to them, while smiling, are distant and almost sterile. Your tears means you really care about them.
Info on the AKC Good Canine Test:
http://www.akc.org/events/cgc/training_testing.cfm
and the TDI test:
http://www.tdi-dog.org/tditesting.html
New scents, aroma therapy from YC
Love the ones you mentioned as well as Water Garden and Sweet Violet.
The SO (he's such a sweetie) brings me YCs all the time. He just gave me a boxed set of five Aromatherapy Spa candles:
cinnamon/frankincense
peppermint/basal/rosemary
lavender/ylang-ylang/geranium,
jasmine/sandalwood
tangerine/vanilla
I've only tried the first one so far and it's very nice. Don't know what's in them but the dog freaks when I get the box out. She rubs herself all over them while snorting like a pig. Very odd. You should see what she does when the YC catalog comes with those scented pages!
....therapy or a Marriage Encounter weekend, if that's still around...nm
s
Love the Italian therapy! My dad and uncle were...
raised that way...no coddling or worrying about hurting the little one's feelings. My grandmother would have made a fortune from her therapeutic thwaps!
Bless your heart for having Therapy Dogs!
I think that's a wonderful program and hat's off to you for taking the time to do it!
It's therapy. At least for me it is. I don't mind it. Just don't read the posts if you know
they will bother you. I'm sorry to be so rude, but you can't dictate what other people posts unless it's religion or politics. If you start getting into the media and bad news, then you are really censoring the board and you don't want to do that.
Hope she saved lots of the tips for you for therapy...
just kidding ;)
I overted one of these last week with Avon Moisture Therapy sm
and I swear by it. This time of year I cream up, especially rubbing into the areas that these occur, then put on some socks on my hands for the night. I have not had one of these until recently and like I said, I averted it with this stuff. I am nice and comfy this week.
I think once disgust happens, lots of therapy is needed to feel love again. Lots
s
I have the best brother ever!
Tonight my brother called, said he loved me and he knew I was struggling to catch up after being laid off and would I accept his gift to help me catch back up.  I love my family. It isn't like he has money to spare really but he got a really nice bonus and wanted to share it with me.
My brother and I also won sm
a Halloween costume competition when we were little. He for my original costume (He was a hobo)and me for prettiest costume (me, what else, a princess)My mom was a whiz with the sewing machine. Funniest thing, We had the same last name as the anme of the department store that sponsered the competition. I assure you we were in no way related, but I bet no one else belived it.
Big Brother
Did anyone watch Big Brother last night? Did you think Julie Chen looked awfully skinny. I did not think she looked good at all.
Big Brother
Who out there watches Big Brother? What is wrong with everyone this season? They all seem so emotional. It is so funny to watch. No one gets along. Can't stand Jen.
Oh brother!
a
My brother's got one. They ALWAYS
Why not put $500.00 away in a bank account and then take long weekends or splurge on a huge trip? I don't see where you're saving money really, plus someone's padding their pocket somewhere. :(
My brother
was a wild one when he was 15, hung out with an older crowd and so on. But he straightened out in his early 20s when most guys his age were still barhopping. He ended up getting his GED and now he is a Fire Capt. I think some kids go through those wild years a little earlier than others. I would not be comfortable with him hanging out with a 23-year-old though. Makes you wonder what the older guy's motivation is hanging out with a young teenager. Good luck.
Big Brother
Is anyone out there as disgusted with the results of Big Brother this year? I cannot even watch the last one because it will make me physically sick to see either Daniele or Evel win. Daniele is the biggest baby I have ever seen and Evel is the meanest person I think I have ever seen.
Big Brother
Oh, I was disgusted with how it turned out last night. I bet there are a lot of people out there that feel the same way. I won't have to worry about missing the next show.
Big Brother
I love ED.. He is just being realistic. You do what you gotta do when you are in a game like that. It always amazes me why people get their feelings hurt.. They are there to win the money and that is simply all. Waste of time otherwise. I am glad he won.. of course, his daughter will get the money because of the hate people feel for him... The truth hurts sometimes.
O Brother
Whatta day it's been
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hfTUvFj6kvc
O Brother
I glad you enjoyed it....
brother
I'm glad your brother seems to be getting his life together. . my ex was always a wonderful father - that is how I knew the drugs had finally taken over - when our daughter needed medical tests done - lost health insurance when he quit his job - and I BEGGED him to do something to get some money so she could have her tests done. . he did nothing. . I filed for divorce right after that. . he would never even admit he was on drugs. . if he had, we could have tried to get help maybe. .
i could have had his brother - nm
x
Well, at least not as bad as his gay brother
who has his own porn site, it is called Kitty-Porn. When husband not at home this furry is on hub's computer setting up, shall we say meetings. I would not have known had it not been for my husband telling me he had extra charges on his cell from someone named Romeo, that is when he found out about the gay site fatcat's brother is running. I tell you, these kids now days. They will be the death of me yet!
Through my brother...
and have only been apart when truly necessary!
Oh brother!
This is a 16-year-old you are talking about??? You seem awfully involved in the drama of highschool life. Don't teach him to be concerned about what some snotty girl is doing. Tell him to decide what he wants to do for his B-day and get over it. When he is 35, he will either remember a birthday spent worrying about someone whose name he can't recall, or that he had a really great birthday with friends that were true friends. His choice! This is hardly the end of the world.
My brother is ................. sm
smoking some sausage, ribs, etc., for dinner and we are making potato salad and beans and trimmings to go along with it. He doesn't do this too often, so we are looking forward to a different Easter dinner this year!
Great Brother!
He is very special. Can't be he's married to someone who resents his having much to do with his sister, only sibling.
I am in NJ and worry about my brother-in-law
even though the fires are not near him, things can change if those winds do not stop soon. I wish the best for your friend. Yes, everyone's spirits out there seem to be good. They go through so much with these fires and earthquakes. I believe that is what gives them the strength to deal with these disasters when they happen.
Just to clarify - the brother that my son
lives 30 miles East of my parents. He does not visit, call, he is better than the rest of the family. Read my recent post above in regards to being a future felon. Yes, life is too short now isn't it?
Don't get walnut. My brother did,
and it's not as hard as it sounds like it would be. Cherry is very hard. which is why it is so popular.
I just have WilsonArt (like Pergo), and I got a medium tone. I don't like the color. It is too dull brown. I wish I had gotten something more interesting and dramatic, like light or dark or at least the honey shade I planned on, but I got a good deal on this color, and now I regret the color, but not the product.
Hardwood is better for resale value in many places, and does look better IF you can take care of it. WilsonArt, on the other hand, is indestructable, so it holds up better for rough use.
Another consideration you didn't mention is if you are getting flat boards or the ones with a little edge on them or other texture. I've seen wide planks that had an interesting effect that was very rustic looking. I'm sure any sort of texture would collect dirt, but if you are going to vacuum frequently anyway, the textures/shaped boards look fabulous to me.
Try to see as many pictures and even completed rooms as possible before you decide.
Big brother needs to be careful
I sincerely hope your son didn't run wants/warrants, DL, car registration, LEADS or anything else on sis's boyfriend. My sister is a deputy sheriff, and if she did anything like that for a personal reason, the sheriff would have her badge in about 2 seconds flat. That is a major no-no and one of the first things they learn if they work in the radio room.
My brother has quite a few Boxers
They are so funny! 
We'll probably go to my brother's
He also has 5 boxer dogs that the kids love to play with. I'll probably take some chili cheese dip or some chicken wings; it's hard to tell what I'll come up. Him and his wife are on a diet, so I don't want to bring too much of that kind of stuff. Maybe I'll make a salad! 
Big brother in action again
What happened to freedom of choice? When did what we do off the clock become everyone's business, and when did we, the workers, agree we need some authority with a conflict of interest to police everyone's health for their own good?
So what's next - we all have no health insurance eventually because some greedy insurer decides something we do is a risk? In this profession in particular, they could look to disqualify us for being overweight, or the likelihood of carpal tunnel, or any of the other problems that come from being chained to a keyboard the majority of the time.
On the other hand, some politicians introduce platforms aimed to force us to buy insurance. But what if you are disqualified by the almighty insurers? You can't make everybody get insurance if more and more people are refused insurance due to risk. Something has got to give here, and the madness must stop.
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