When do you know to just take over

I'm about to bust a vein on this one.  I'm the MT grannie raising my 3 yo gd.  I had lived with my mom for 2-1/2 of those years because she had come to realize she needed someone in the house as she was getting older.  BUT, when I realized she really, really needed someone to look after her and started getting more involved with her day-to-day stuff, she accused me of trying to control her and threw me out.  Now, I've tried to maintain a civil relationship because my gd is very attached to her and sees HER as the grandmother - not me.

Here are some things that got me concerned:  She would walk out to the mail box and faint in the front yard on the way back, then avoid my seeing her by staying busy or away from home until her black eye went away to tell me about it - refusing to go to the doctor.  When gd was 16 months old, she spent 1 hour a week as "their" time together - left the child in the driveway, walked over 70 feet away from her, bent over to pick weeds and forgot about the baby until she heard the screech of a car, the horn of another car avoiding the first, but didn't even look up (didn't wonder what was going on) until the driver who HIT my gd was holding her and walking towards my mother.  Left gas burners on the stove on for hours several times a week, burned at least 3 meals a week, left turpentine-soaked rags ON the burners on the stove....

I didn't feel I was overly involved, but I tried to modify things to reduce the chances of accidents - and death in the case of my gd.

After a week of not reaching her by phone, I went over yesterday.  Her face from the nose to the hairline was black and blue where she fell flat faced onto a concrete pad.  Hasn't gone to a doctor.  Promised she would go today.  Just got off the phone, has an appointment for the 17TH!!!  She won't tell my sister about these things, so my sister thinks I make these things up because I have a grudge against my mother for making me move out.  I saw the pool of blood where she fell.  She didn't move for a LONG time after she fell...there was a pool of blood from the mouth and a separate one from the nose.  Looked like something from CSI.  She couldn't tell me what day it happened, only that she had a nose bleed for at least 3 days afterwards and it "doesn't hurt anymore." 

I want to go over there tomorrow with my other sister and take pictures of her face and the blood stains, but I don't know what good it would do other than cause problems...but I have a real concern she is going to be found dead one day.  Maybe that is how she wants it, I'm beginning to believe.

Any suggestions?  I have enough to worry about...my gd's parents are wanting me to adopt her soon and my resources and emotions are tight. 

• When do you know to just take over - guardianship of a parent?
  • Thanks for all the input - guardianship of a parent?
  • I have read all of the posts here and --sm - nn
  • I would certainly get association such - Jerrie
    • I agree completely with Jerrie, Call your local Division of Family Services and they can help - Dillybug
    • Oh, meant to say - Jerrie
      • when do you know to just take over - nnnn
        • Well, that one's covered lol - SM
        • I knew when I saw what was going on, - Jerri

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