When I asked why it was ok for him to pick out a truck and a boat without me (sm)
Posted By: He just doesn't get it on 2008-11-02
In Reply to: Crying all morning.....sm - He just doesn't get it
he blamed it on the fact that I had bought the kids a $300 plastic pool last summer. He used that same excuse again about the shed. "you picked out a pool!" How dare I pick out anything?
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- Crying all morning.....sm - He just doesn't get it
- When I asked why it was ok for him to pick out a truck and a boat without me (sm) - He just doesn't get it
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He may be....but $300 pool versus a $30,000 truck, and a boat, etc., etc.? nm
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Maybe with a pair of plyers and a pick-up truck?
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Is the truck necessary for his job?? If not,
then I would think about selling it and getting something a little more reasonable in the line of a car payment. If it is for work, then why can't he deduct a portion of the cost?
You can take the truck to get tires yourself you know - sm
so from a safety standpoint I would just go and do it since you say you have the money. Tell him it would not pass inspection so you had to get new tires, or a cop stopped you and gave you a warning, whatever it takes. I did that last year, my DH was not too pleased as he wants me to get rid of my truck and I don't want car payments again and it runs great so I just maintain it as necessary and don't tell him basically. I have a $600 repair I need done; will he know about it, NO. Granted I am going to have it done for about $300- getting a used part, then having a neighbor put it in because my DH is too lazy to work on the truck other than to change the oil. I want it to run for at least 2 more years (207K miles)--250 is our goal mark before we get a new/used truck; unless I win the lottery before then. So take matters into your own hands, try to make more money, and if you ever get serious about divorce then consult a lawyer and find out your rights- you are entitled to half the house equity (or sale profits); half any retirement fund from the point you married, etc., child support, 3 kids that is easily $800 a month; spousal support if you have been married for some time (I think usually 10 years, but I am sure every circumstance is different). So don't martyr yourself. Take control.
Ditto......our truck tag is $600....
When we lived in Florida, I paid $60 for a tag on a brand new car, and we are paying $600 for a truck about 3 years old now. One county over it is much cheaper. This county is ripping people off. Even property taxes are ridiculous here.
It's a construction truck and
yes, necessary for his job. He helps to build highways.
You'd have loved the ice cream truck
that used to play Christmas tunes all summer. I take it he's not from around here, LOL.
He finally changed the tune - to LA Cucaracha! I take it he doesn't speak Spanish if he thinks that song is going to sell ice cream! Ha!
My husband is a truck driver too. . .
We got married when he was in his early 30s, so he had a hard time changing his lifestyle. He spent all of his free time with his single friend. I never, ever worried about the two of them going to bars or anything. Their idea of a good time was having a couple beers and talking about tractors. His friend is a farmer, so he has a lot of free time in the winter. Sometimes I think my husband felt bad because they spent so much time together before I came along and then all of the sudden, things changed. His friend is in his late 30s and had never been married or had kids. After I had been dating my husband for about a year, his friend went to an online dating service and found a girlfriend. He was very shy, so that was a big deal! That was 3 years ago, and they are engaged now. My husband doesn't see him so much now, but they talk daily on the phone. We also moved about 30 minutes away. We have neighbors that he likes to spend time with, but he tries to keep it to just the weekend. Also, my husband gets very stressed driving in the winter and needs to relax once in a while. Does your husband's friend have a girlfriend? If he doesn't, maybe you could introduce him to some of your girl friends. He might just be lonely. I know it's hard for you to be sitting home when your husband is hanging out with his friend. I told my husband once that I felt like a single mom! I think you do need to let your husband know how you feel. Good luck to you!
My neighbor is addicted to QVC. The UPS truck
every single day. Her apartment is just as small as mine, and she doesn't make that much more money than I do. I've looked at QVC, and the stuff on it is nice, but expensive! I don't know where she's putting it all. Sometimes she over-buys, and ends up giving some really nice things to me because she has no room. Of course I appreciate the gifts, but I do worry about her sometimes. She's told me her credit card debt is pretty high, too. (She should know better - she works for a bank!)
Here is another truck driver's wife's view
My husband was older than yours when he (and I) married. He was 49, first marriage. We spend a tremendous amount of time together, he even has his computer setup in my workroom. When he wants downtime, he has his own room for his guitar strumming and then a real stay-around type person. I love the time we are together so don’t know what to say to the original poster but not much of a marriage there if no time left over for wife.
I cried when they put that woman in the truck and said she died 2 days later
One 2006 german VW and one 2008 chevy truck. nm
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I blew the engine in my truck 7 days after the warranty expired! $7,000 to replace. :( -n/m
.
I was in the same boat 20 yrs ago
It was damned if you do, damned if you don't. Nerves were on edge all the time. I really wish you the best.
Here's what I did: I took our two kids and got OUT before he killed all of us. I have never looked back, never regretted having to work two and three jobs to support us. It wasn't easy, we struggled, but we were SO much happier not having to tippy-toe around him anymore.
Kids are grown now. My son sees his dad, still tries to please him, very sad. Daughter has NOTHING to do with him and won't let her daughter see him.
Sorry didn't mean to turn this into a rant or a book, it just struck a chord with me.
Not saying that's what you should do at all, just that's what I did. I will say a prayer for you all. And for those of us who have survived it. God help us.
In the same boat.....
My son got his learners in June and so far, seems responsible when it comes to driving. He doesn't like a lot of talking and no radio on. (Of course, we know teens change overnight) I am just going to let him have a learners for awhile because my insurance company doesn't charge if he has a learners. Maybe his senior year, we will allow him to start driving some and put him on insurance. But I have to agree with the other poster, 15 is very young, even though there are responsible kids out there. It is the other drivers on the road we worry about. We were driving the other day and someone pulled right out in front of my son!! I was so mad!! Good luck!!
I am in the same boat.
I saw my high school sweetheart after 20 some years. The sparks just flew again. It was a wonderful moment. We are both married with 2 children. I live out of state luckily. We are both in not so great marriages, but are staying with our spouses for the kids sake. He said he would wait for me, so who knows, maybe we will be together again some day. I really hope so.
In the same boat
This has happened to me for 7 years now. Even though we are not young, we are not ready for no intimacy! He does not seem interested in anything, just cuddling and kissing, nothing else. I get so frustrated, and it does hurt my feelings. When you talk to him about this he gets furious.
in the same boat...
I am pretty much in the same situation and can relate to what you are going through. My problems with debt started because I decided to quit a job making 45,000/yr to do medical transcription in which I am lucky if I make 20,000/yr. I could not keep up with my own personal bills and instead of confiding in my husband, I put bills on my credit cards and every payperiod swore to myself that my paycheck would increase, but easier said than done since I do VR and the pay stinks. My husband thinks MTing is ridiculous for the pay and hard work we do. I was insisting upon staying with it and had too much pride to let him know I could not pay my own personal bills. When I did finally tell him he was upset that I would put myself in debt, knowing that as a couple, our debts affect each other. I am now seeking help from CCCS, a counseling service that has a very good reputation. Just make sure you pick a reputable, nonprofit agency, and they will put you on the right track back to financial stability. Needless to say, I am going back to the work I used to do and doing MTing on the side.
Best of luck to you!
Same boat
I am in the same boat you are in. I will not be putting up Christmas lights either. I love decorating my house with Christmas lights, but not this year. 
Same boat here.
DH doesn't like pumpkin either so unless I make it to take to someone else's house, I won't get any. I can't bear a whole pie going to waste and I can't bear a whole pie going on my hips! LOL
boat next to you
I can sympathize with you. Have had problems with parotids for several years and it is terrible. No tumor was seen, but have passed a stone after a sialodochoplasty done at St. Louis. Make sure you have absolutely the best surgeon for this type of thing. Makes all the difference. Will be praying for you also. Keep us informed please.
I don't think its rude per se - I'm in the same boat
I constantly have people ask me why I'm not married and why I don't have children. What I find odd is the men - they will ask me "can you not have children?" I will ask them "what kind of question is that??" And the response I get is "well, women tend to have babies at the drop of a hat," or "women just get pregnant without thinking twice about it." All kinds of responses. I've even been asked if I'm a lesbian (which I'm sure I'll get pounced on, but I find that extremely insulting).
I guess the bottom line is that in this day and age, if a woman does not have a child, is not shacking up with some guy after the second date, or has never been married, then there must be something wrong with her in the eyes of society. However, try asking the woman that has 4 kids by 4 different guys why she never married the daddies or why she doesn't use contraception, and boy oh boy, stand back or run for the hills.
My answer has always been - I never met the right one. Which usually gets a response of "maybe you're just too picky."
I could go on and on about this. But think about this - the women that ask you these questions are usually the same women that say one of the following: "Men are dogs, or men are pigs" and "oh god, I couldn't imagine being single and dating. I'll take what I've got at home over your life anytime."
Makes you laugh doesn't it!
Going out on our boat to soak up some
rays, floating on my lounge chair raft and then stopping at one of the restaurants on the lake for lunch. Yes, I use sunscreen and a lot of it. Have a canopy on the boat to sit in the shade. It is going to be hot here in the northeast too. Can't wait.
I'm kinda in the same boat
My 30+ year old stepson is supposed to be moving out today. Believe me, it won't last. He is the filthist person I have ever met and for his age is VERY naive and gullable. Won't be long before others see what I have been trying to tell them for years. He's lazy, selfish and totally irresponsible. It's just a matter of time before he gets a DUI. He totally disregards any advice or help my husband gives him and listens to his loser friends. If my husband lets him move back in.........that's the day I move out! I've got news for my husband....HE WILL BE PAYING MY RENT --- since he has the money to keep supporting his ADULT (and I say that loosely) children! Good riddins' to him! 
I am in the same boat. I have no desire to go to my in laws for sm
Christmas Eve and my husband is making us all go. It's the biggest fight every year. I am dreading it so much. I wish he would listen to me, but he won't. I don't see a long future for me and my husband. It's always his way or NO way. I should just say I am not going and not go, but IF I do that then Christmas morning will be miserable. He will take it out on me and the kids. I think he's just like them!
He pouted all day Thanksgiving because I refused to go to his mother's house where his siblings (the culprits) would be. The thing is this: They've never liked me. Never. It's been almost 10 years and everything is my fault. For a long time it scarred me, but then I realized that it wasn't me, it's them. And then to have my husband force me to be around this hateful, evil people is beyond understanding. I am NOT looking forward to Christmas eve. I swear, I just want to stay here (I've already celebrated with great friends and my family) and just want to enjoy Christmas eve and Christmas with people (my kids) whom I adore. But, it won't be that way when you have people in your lives (unfortunately) who are exactly the way you just described.
Ugggh. Not looking forward to this weekend. And to top it off, my birthday is Saturday. I told him that I wanted to NOT go to his mom's house for my birthday. That made him mad.
Oh, and don't tell me to put a smile on my face and be nice or put up with it. Until you walk a mile in my shoes where you have 3 sisters and 1 brother who think I am the antichrist, the last thing you can do is smile at these people....And I am a very kind and nice person. these people bring out the worst in me.
She is in the same boat, married and divorced twice - sm
I would not make any assumptions regarding either party. Maybe his wives cheated, maybe he did, maybe no one did and they just grew apart; maybe her husband cheated, maybe she did, maybe her DHs (both of them) woke up one day and said hey I don't want to be married anymore, lots of fish in the sea. Who knows. She will find out as she gets to know him better if he is a jerk or not (i.e. if he was the root cause of his divorce or not). My DH was divorced (first marriage and hopefully only for me) and granted I know things now that I did not know then, but she did leave him and divorce him but I see some of the reasons now and know he was not totally innocent in the whole thing, but I also know there was a lot more to it. I don't think it is just one person's "fault" for a divorce, they both contribute, generally one more than the other but both people are definitely involved (it is their marriage). I say have fun, and see where it goes, just don't get all lovey dovey and become blind, try to be smart at the same time.
Nope..no gravy boat.
Mine did not come with one either. Below are a few on ebay that might work. I like the last one too because it is round and could be used with one of your larger saucers. Hmm. I did not have S&P shakers either. Believe it or not I use these as my every day dishes. They are very, very durable, but then again I do not have children either. My mother always said, what good is china if you can only use it once a year! They do look lovely at christmas time on a gold charger plate. I also used candles shaped like pine cones and/or pine cones in the center piece. I paint also so I will probably end up feeling sorry for you and paint you one!
280110136597
140113712960
300066983736
120114143571
I love Banana Boat...
EveryDay Glow Daily Moisturizing Lotion - Hint of Color! I just bought 2 bottles today for $4.96 each, probably the cheapest there is. It works great! It gets darker every day you apply, and it's just like lotion so it goes on nicely. I'm extremely white, and this gives me a nice color without looking fake. I use medium skin color. There's also a darker one. I usually put my own peachy lotion on afterwards to take away the smell.
Thanx! Saw a boat named that once, but it suits me better!
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Navy? On a boat with thousands of hor*y men? I don't think so. nm
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Oh gosh, I missed the boat on this one!
I just posted what I thought was awesome, not what I was dreaming was awesome! I have no imagination.
Okay, calorie-free ice cream would be my awesome thing. With Cool Whip. Calorie-free Cool Whip.
Same boat, just too afraid to post it.
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You are missing the boat entirely and totally negative when you no NOTHING
He has more (material things) than you do and most men of 60s+. He has a home that he has worked to own -- not given to him! Material things do not mean much to me, however. I make my own living. He has an engineering and Masters degree. How many degrees do you have? He is very athletic! He has had olympic training. He is a wonderful man who MANY of you would desire and don't have. He knows that pleases a woman and EXACTLY what he wants in life.
Most important to me is that he expresses that he is a "God-fearing" man. There is NOTHING in life more important to me than that!
He has no kids -- not a priority in life for him. He is too wonderful to describe! I know more about him than you will ever know about your partner, because we COMMUNICATE.
Sorry for your skepticism. But I will take it with a grain of salt, as it deserves to be taken.
This man is an open book -- but not only that, but he hides nothing.
WOW is all I can say about him ! Have never met a man like this in my entire life! He wants to please me, and he is certainly capable of doing that.
You are missing the boat entirely and totally negative when you no NOTHING
He has more (material things) than you do and most men of 60s+. He has a home that he has worked to own -- not given to him! Material things do not mean much to me, however. I make my own living. He has an engineering and Masters degree. How many degrees do you have? He is very athletic! He has had olympic training. He is a wonderful man who MANY of you would desire and don't have. He knows that pleases a woman and EXACTLY what he wants in life.
Most important to me is that he expresses that he is a "God-fearing" man. There is NOTHING in life more important to me than that!
He has no kids -- not a priority in life for him. He is too wonderful to describe! I know more about him than you will ever know about your partner, because we COMMUNICATE.
Sorry for your skepticism. But I will take it with a grain of salt, as it deserves to be taken.
This man is an open book -- but not only that, but he hides nothing.
WOW is all I can say about him ! Have never met a man like this in my entire life! He wants to please me, and he is certainly capable of doing that.
We are in the same boat. First and foremost, file your taxes.
The penalties are huge if you file late. Once you file, it will take about a month, and they will send you a bill. We were able to get a 4-month extension, i.e., extending the due date of the balance. We only had to pay interest and some penalties for paying late - again a fraction of what it costs to file late. That did not cost anything. The next option was setting up a payment plan, and I think that cost $125 to set up plus the interest and penalties for paying late.
They really are not bad to work with, especially this year. I read an article where they have been instructed to work with people, especially in light of the bailouts for large companies. They are very respectful, much better than any creditor I have ever worked with, and as long as you are working with them, I think you'll be just fine.
Good luck to you, I'm sort of in the same type of boat
Have had many non-cancerous cysts/endometriomas removed along with one ovary. After many different opinions, the majority of doctors have recommended avoiding the surgery if possible and keeping the remaining ovary and just having yearly ultrasounds, as I am only 39, but sometimes I wonder if I'd be better off symptom-wise and not having to worry about cancer down the road if I just had the surgery. Like everything else, there are pros and cons and it is a very tough decision. I have heard many women say, oh I had one and it was the best thing I every did! Only to find out they kept their ovaries... so big difference! Please let us know how things go for you and best of luck!!!
JAWS: "I think we're gonna need a bigger boat."
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Boat show in Urbanna on Sat. and Busch Gardens on Sunday - nm
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Can't pick just one . . . sm
Dances with Wolves, original Rocky, Bladerunner, A River Runs Through It, The Way We Were and The Notebook are my faves
I can't pick just one either...
I like lighthearted stuff mostly - How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days, Lucky Seven, Wedding Date, Wedding Planner, Never Been Kissed.
But, also really liked Contact and U-571 and A Time to Kill (see the Matthew McConaughey pattern emerging?) And Dead Poets Society is also one of my favorites (I cry at the end every time - My Captain, my Captain! ) Oh, and It's A Wonderful Life - I watch it every Christmas by myself because no one else will watch it with me.
Good question.
They always pick someone..... sm
I would immediately have a discussion with her about this and if she continues to be this way towards you and your daughter I would take it to the principal of the school. My son had a teacher last year that kept him after constantly and he was only in the second grade. I asked her to keep him in at recess instead of after school as I have someone picking him up daily who cannot wait on him and she did not so I took it over her head. There is not a teacher alive that is going to pick me or my child to be "the chosen one" for that year to pick on.
Thanks Dillybug! I will have to pick one up!
Anything to make the job easier as I hate to clean the tub!
my dog would try to help me pick strawberries,
eating them off the plant as i picked. But i saw a list in my vet's office about all the foods toxic to dogs/cats. It is generally best just not to feed people food to animals.
Pick your poison
I figure you can do one of two things:
First, buy the Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus books and learn how to talk like a man. You know - short, sweet and to the point or maybe just a couple of grunts. No blow-by-blow descriptions. None of that emotional/feelings garbage. Don't use him as a sounding board for ideas - ask his opinion only if you want him to fix the problem. All that [insert your expletive here] stuff.
Second, and the one I would prefer, is to go out and buy a T-shirt that says *If I'm Talking You Should Be Taking Notes*. Actually, I'd get several in various colors, one for every day of the week.
And I wonder why I'm not married! (she grins)
Sisters . . can't pick em
As the oldest of 10, 2 brothers, one passed on quite young, and 6 sisters, it's bittersweet. Sometimes I think I am the odd one as I don't think like my sisters, and therein lies the problem. Our parents died young. Three of us married sisters took in two younger ones each, and did a relatively good job, not great, but they were loved, cared for, included in everything, and I truly enjoyed and relished their company. Now we are all adult women, and I hardly see them because they are too weird. I have always praised them, and have always been proud of them. They all educated themselves, have masters and bachelor degrees in the medical field. What they have in education they lack in common sense or the ability to gain insight. It amazes me and floors me that they hate my mother's family. My sisters target them for neglect and abandonment, when in reality we had lousy, abusive parents who did not take care of themselves, which is in part why they died so young. My sisters focus their hurt on our mother's family. My sisters are narcissistic, antisocial, and completely paranoid of me because I do get along with my mother's family. My sisters do not include me in any of the holiday functions. Oh well, I say, I am the lucky one because I can be objective, look at painful situations, hold no one accountable for my lot in life, gain insight and grow from my past, and love being around people and socializing. What hurts me is that I have finally figured out why they are so distant with me - pretty much without saying it clearly, this summer, the sister I was the closed to, had a talk with me and pretty much feels that it would have been better if they had been adopted out!! Unbelievable. That is so easy to say because it did not happen that way. Now, I think the only sad part is that they all have such beautiful children, and what a loss that they do not allow me to have a relationship with them. I would love to have a relationship with my nieces and nephews, take them out, have them over for sleep overs, and cookie baking. Life is so funny sometimes. In spite of it all, I think that I am the one truly blessed and pretty lucky.
HMR is better - and you can pick and choose
My mother got NutriSystem and most of the meals are unpalatable and I can eat about anything (some were okay). HMR is actually good. Difference is breakfast consists of shakes/cereal.
How do we pick a charity
I am wondering how to we pick a charity. Is there a list somewhere or do I have to find the local website? I would love to donate to animal shelters in my community, but not sure how to select it so funds would go to them.
4+ for me. Everyone has time to pick up a bit! nm..
//
He helped me pick it out!
I tried it on in front of him, too.
Here's a couple for you -- you pick!
1) I was on the phone with my boyfriend sitting on a no-back barstool. I was rocking back and forth against the wall when the barstool went out from under me. It not only went under me, the leg came back to jam me up the rectum. Of course I dropped the phone and immediately started yelling, IT HURTS, IT HURTS!! My boyfriend stayed on the phone all that time and my mom had to pick it up and tell him I'd have to call him back later I just gave myself an impromptu colonoscopy. Talk about red!! My butt hurt for like a week. I couldn't even poop for 2 days after that.
2) My boyfriend (now husband) and I were making out in an orchard one night. Afterwards, he took me home and the next morning I awoke to find my entire backside covered with poison ivy. I also noticed I was missing about $60 I had shoved into my pockets the night before. I immediately called my boyfriend and explained that it must have fallen out of my pocket in the orchard. Since $60 was a lot of money to me then (now it barely fills up my tank), I asked him to go back and look for it. Lucky for me he found it and I used it to buy some Calamine lotion. Man, did my butt itch for a week. We still laugh about this one. 
He would be my pick, but both very talented. NM
xx
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